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3rd Rock from the Sun
3rd Rock from the Sun.jpg
Title card
Format Sitcom / Science fiction
Created by Bonnie Turner and Terry Turner
Starring John Lithgow
Kristen Johnston
French Stewart
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Jane Curtin (all, entire run)
Simbi Khali
Elmarie Wendel
Wayne Knight (all, seasons 3–6; recurring previously)
Theme music composer Ben Vaughn
(seasons 1–4 and 6)
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (season 5)
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 6
No. of episodes 139 (List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Bonnie Turner
Terry Turner
Marcy Carsey
Tom Werner
Caryn Mandabach
Linwood Boomer (season 1)
Bill Martin
Mike Schiff (seasons 3–5)
David Sacks (seasons 4–5)
Bob Kushell
Christine Zander (seasons 5–6)
David Goetsch
Jason Venokur (season 6)
Producer(s) Patrick Kienlen
David Goetsch
Jason Venokur
David M. Israel
Jim O'Doherty
Andrew Orenstein
Michael Glouberman
Gregg Mettler (producer)
Tim Ryder
Aron Abrams
Gregory Thompson (co-producer)
Location(s) Rutherford, Ohio (setting)
CBS Studio Center, Studio City, Los Angeles, California (filming location)[1]
Camera setup Film; Multi-camera
Running time 22 minutes
Production company(s) The Carsey-Warner Company
Distributor Carsey-Werner Distribution
Broadcast
Original channel NBC
Original run January 9, 1996 (1996-01-09) – May 22, 2001 (2001-05-22)
Status Ended
External links
Official website

3rd Rock from the Sun (sometimes referred to as simply 3rd Rock) is an American sitcom that aired from 1996 to 2001 on NBC. The show is about a group of extraterrestrials on an expedition of what they consider to be the least important planet, Earth (the 3rd Rock from the Sun), while posing as a human family of four, to observe human beings.

Contents

Overview

Basic premise

"As many intelligent people know, aliens are all around us. This is a story of a band of four such explorers. In order to blend in, they have assumed human form. This is the High Commander [Dick]. He has assembled an elite team of experts: A decorated military officer [Sally], a seasoned intelligence specialist [Tommy] and, well, they had an extra seat [Harry]."[2]

The premise of the show revolves around an extraterrestrial research expedition attempting to live as a normal human family in the fictional city of Rutherford, Ohio, where they live in a loft apartment. Humor was principally derived from the aliens' attempts to study human society and, because of their living as humans themselves while on Earth, to understand the human condition. In later episodes, they became more accustomed to Earth and often seemed to be more interested in their human lives than in their mission.

Dick Solomon (played by John Lithgow), the High Commander and leader of the expedition, is the family provider, and takes a position as a physics professor at Pendelton State University. Information officer Tommy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has been given the body of a teenager and is forced to enroll in high school (later college), leaving security officer Sally (Kristen Johnston) and communications officer Harry (French Stewart) to spend their lives as thirty somethings hanging out at home and bouncing through short-term jobs.

The family often communicates with their off-world (and usually unseen) boss, the Big Giant Head, who apparently only got the job by kissing "The Big Giant Butt." His orders are received through Harry, who unexpectedly (and often in inconvenient circumstances) stands up, his arms stiff (acting as the antenna), and proclaims: "Incoming message from the Big Giant Head."

Sources of humor

The show derived much humor from the contrast between the outward appearance adopted by each of the aliens and his or her actual, internal nature. Dick, far from being a wise and fatherly figurehead, is arrogant, self-absorbed, petulant, faddish, and often downright foolish. Inside Sally’s glamorous form lives the weapons and security officer: uncouth, swaggering, and macho. Tommy, the oldest of the group, is morphed into a teenager, his former wisdom at odds with the strange and often humiliating life in which his teenage persona and raging hormones casts him. Only the oddball of the group, Harry, seems comfortable with Earth — yet he is the weirdest of them all, particularly when his built-in radio function takes unexpected control over his body, relaying orders from the aliens' home world in an odd, booming voice.

Typical episode themes

Almost all the episodes revolve around the Solomons' difficulty integrating themselves into Earth culture and understanding human customs — often their view of Earth realities is distorted by the fact that almost all of their experience of Earth comes through the media, especially television, rather than firsthand experience.

Details about their alien nature are rarely given and inconsistent, except to reinforce the idea that their former lives were almost barren of emotion and most of the relationships humans have with each other. Their original forms, for example, are described as nonsexual, with reproduction a matter of sending packets of genetic material to each other in the mail. Leaders like The Big Giant Head are unelected and assumed infallible (in fact, it is stated that politicians on their planet are chosen by seeing which one can outrun the giant fireball). The upshot is that living in an Earth culture provides the Solomons with an almost intolerable degree of emotional stimulation and conflict, which they are very ill-equipped to handle.

Some of the episodes seemingly derive their comedy from affectionate send-ups of TV and films. For example, in the episode "Father Knows Dick," when Harry finds out he is a transmitter, he "goes off the rails" (complete with red jacket as worn by Jim in Rebel Without a Cause), yells "You're tearing me apart!" and goes off to play "chicken" with a tough guy in a bar (but ends up buying fried chicken from KFC instead). In the episode "Dick's Big Giant Headache," both Dick and the Big Giant Head mention seeing something on the wing of the plane after having traveled by airline, a nod to both John Lithgow and William Shatner having played the same role (one in the original story, and one in a remake) of the passenger who sees a gremlin on the wing in The Twilight Zone. In another episode, a face-slapping session with Dick and Sally pastiches the Chinatown sequence: "She's my daughter; my sister; my daughter." In "When Aliens Camp," the Solomons and Mary go on a disastrous camping trip. Dick is captured by a bunch of boy scouts and instantly turns "native", painting his face and sighing "The horror" in a spoof of Marlon Brando's character in Apocalypse Now. In a tribute to silent movies, one episode shows Sally holding a plank on her shoulder and turning from side to side as Tommy ducks, and Harry gets hit.

Common mythology

Occasionally references would be made to specific features of the aliens' abilities and of their experiences on their own world, which built up a common mythology for the show. The theme of the idiot savant repeatedly resurfaces, since each member of the family makes up for their extreme naïveté with some special skill owing to their alien nature.

Though Dick's understanding of physics is far weaker than his son Tommy's, it is implied that even his basic scientific knowledge makes advanced Earth physics appear rudimentary, leading to his becoming respected in his field despite his childish behavior. A well-known segment from an episode has him reading a passage from A Brief History of Time and laughing hysterically at Stephen Hawking's description of virtual particles. Even so, Dick is often shown as the member of the family with the least to recommend him in terms of ability, leading them to question his right to his command. Sally, for instance, is depicted as not only having an attractive body (she is sometimes described as being Amazonian), but being amazingly physically strong and fit, able to fight and defeat large groups of men much larger than she (even when doing so is unnecessary and culturally inappropriate).

Tommy, similarly, has been trained with the ability of near-instant recall and has an encyclopedic knowledge about Earth society, which unfortunately seems useless in terms of helping him make appropriate decisions, but ensures that he remains a straight-A student.

Harry is most fascinating, since his behavior is bizarre, unstable and borderline mentally disabled even for a Solomon (a condition, it is implied, engendered by the chip in his brain that allows him to communicate with the home planet), yet somehow this mental condition gives him an inexplicable sex appeal for women and makes him the only Solomon with any talent in the arts — Harry often seems to have a knack for all fine arts, including music and theater, and is consistently shown as being an incredibly talented painter, especially as a portraitist and caricaturist, though his inability to verbally articulate his artistic ideas – or, in fact, any ideas at all – in an intelligent fashion sinks his efforts at making a living through his talent.

One of Dick's driving motivations becomes his desire to master drawing, acting, music, or other pursuits — all of which he fails at miserably because of his lack of understanding of how the clearly less intelligent Harry could possibly possess talents he does not.

Relationships with humans

Each alien became involved in various relationships with humans throughout the course of the series, primarily focusing on Dick's infatuation – at first met with disgust and then, finally, reciprocation – with anthropology professor Dr. Mary Albright (Jane Curtin), who shares an office with him. Much is often made of Mary's angst, insecurity, and neuroses brought on by a lifetime of studying the human condition as well as an unstable relationship with her parents, and the cheerful, childlike naïveté displayed by Dick, the primary factor in him that attracts her.

Sally similarly acquires a long-term boyfriend, Officer Don Orville (Wayne Knight), an overweight and incompetent police officer who becomes attracted to her after several incidents in which he is forced to confront or arrest the Solomons for various crimes. The two generally have conversations while speaking in a manner similar to an old 1930s crime drama.

Tommy manages an on-again/off-again relationship with August Leffler (Shay Astar), a reserved ice queen teenager and later the more bubbly Alissa Strudwick (Larisa Oleynik).

Harry has a relationship with his landlord Mrs. Dubcek's (Elmarie Wendel) daughter Vicki (played by Jan Hooks), in an on-screen relationship that often features overly melodramatic scenes. Harry, despite no apparent skills in the art of seduction, also manages to foil a plot to dissolve the Earth by seducing Mascha (Cindy Crawford), one of a coven of strikingly beautiful Venusians who tried to overthrow the Earth by seducing its men into giving them everything of value.

Some humor comes from the fact that at some point in the show most of the character relationships have been mixed up — a strange attraction is briefly shown between Mary and Tommy because of their similar passion for the social sciences and the study of humanity, in which Tommy chooses to step aside and let Dick pursue her instead. Nina (Simbi Khali), Dick's assistant who primarily serves as his straight man and comic foil, is seen briefly having a fling with Harry. Mrs. Dubcek also, who is at first merely a source of comic relief, her own bizarre foibles and imperceptibly causing her to be a terrible role model for proper human behavior to the Solomons, is revealed to have had a fling with Harry.

Plot twists

Initially, the only reference to the aliens' true forms is a comment made in the first episode, when upon discovering that human heads cannot swivel to 180 degrees, Dick queries: "How do they lick their backs?". As time went on, the show began to intersperse concrete references to the aliens' nature and their homeworld which played a role in affecting the show's plot. They usually described their original bodies as "gelatinous purple tubes" that lacked sex organs or most of the forms of physical definition that humans possess. In fact, when Sally asks why she had to be the woman, Dick reminds her that she lost the draw. Evidently, individuals in their species are so near-identical to each other that the Solomons were unaware of the concept of race or ethnicity, and had never invented one for themselves, leading them to attempt to choose one (a source of humor since the Solomons all appear quite white), eventually deciding that they are Jewish because of their surname, which they had taken from the side of a truck.

Occasionally, the Solomons would encounter or think they encountered other extraterrestrials — the most long-lasting such gag being the Solomons' belief that Jell-O is an offshoot of a hostile, amorphous, carnivorous species they have often encountered, prompting them to go into hysterics whenever they see it served and attempt to destroy it. Their first brief encounter with snow was believed to have been attacks from a swarm of albino brain chiggers.

The name of the Solomons' home planet (if they indeed have one) is never revealed throughout the course of the series; in the show's dialogue, it is referred to as simply "The Home Planet." It is located in a barred spiral galaxy on the Cepheus-Draco border. Major twists in the plot, often shown in the various season finales, tended to involve contact with the home planet, involving their superiors' ongoing disapproval at the Solomons' antics and their becoming a laughing stock among their peers.

Cast

3rd Rock maintained a constant ensemble cast, the four main characters – Dick, Sally, Tommy, Harry – with the exception of Tommy, all appearing on the show for every episode of the six seasons it ran. Several other main characters who left or joined the show through its original run supplemented these four, and numerous guest stars and one-time characters supplemented all of them. The three male alien's names are a play on the phrase "Tom, Dick and Harry" which is a placeholder for multiple unspecified people.

Main characters

John Lithgow as Dick, Kristen Johnston as Sally, French Stewart as Harry, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy and Jane Curtin as Mary.
  • Dick Solomon (John Lithgow): The High Commander and head of the expedition to Earth. Is often the most childlike member of the group, being, ironically, the youngest of the crew, despite being the oldest family member. Much of the behavioral or societal-based troubles faced by the crew in their mission while on Earth frequently arise from some juvenile act perpetrated by Dick, troubles which in turn are forced to be overcome by the entire troupe with a great deal of reluctance.
  • Sally Solomon (Kristen Johnston): With a rank of Lieutenant, she is the security officer and second-in-command. She has been called Dick’s sister, but was sometimes introduced as Tommy's sister earlier in the series, and, on one occasion, claimed to be his mother, although never Dick's daughter and certainly not his spouse; failure to clarify the exact relationship between Tommy, Harry, and Sally led to humorous confusion whenever either Harry or Sally attempted to act as Tommy's guardian. Sally was chosen to be the woman because she apparently lost some sort of contest and was not too thrilled about it; while the alien species is described as asexual, Sally seems to have a harder time trying to figure out womanhood than the others do manhood. She filed a request to be made male early in the mission, though later decided she liked being a woman.
  • Harry Solomon (French Stewart): Originally he was not part of the mission, but just happened to go for the ride because an extra seat was available. Later, it became known that a chip was in his head, and he became the Communicator or Transmitter. Occasionally, he will get a message from the Solomons' leader, the Big Giant Head, and shake violently in the middle of a sentence and squat down, with his arms at 90-degree angles, declaring "Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!", before going through the motions of delivering the message. He posed as Dick and Sally's brother, and Tommy's uncle.
  • Tommy Solomon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): Information Officer and next-in-command. Tommy plays the role of Dick's adolescent son, yet he is the oldest and smartest of all the aliens. Throughout the series, Tommy continually reminded the others of his superior intelligence and greater age. Gordon-Levitt left the series (after the fifth season concluded) as a primary character, only appearing as a recurring character in just over half the episodes of season six.
  • Dr. Mary Albright (Jane Curtin): Dick's colleague and on-and-off girlfriend. Mary felt that Dick was an insensitive idiot, but she could not avoid the infatuation of his quirkiness or childlike actions. Reference is often made to the insecurity caused by her bad parenting, and the fact that before Dick arrived, she was known for sleeping around, and had even been nicknamed "Dr. Slutbunny."
  • Nina Campbell (Simbi Khali): Dick and Mary's administrative assistant, who often has to put up with Dick demanding things of her that she isn't paid to do (such as taking his car to have its tires rotated) to which she takes a no-nonsense stance. Generally, Nina considers Dick to be an idiot, a chauvinist, and a jerk, and sometimes wonders why Mary dates him. However, there are moments when this pair does appear to actually get along.
  • Mrs. Mamie Dubcek (Elmarie Wendel): The Solomons' loose, clueless, and carefree landlady who has a very active love life and often makes reference to her sexual escapades (once bringing the Solomons a letter that "the mailman accidentally left in [her] bedroom"). Despite being the Solomons' landlady, she has a friend-like relationship with them, and she often appears in their apartment.
  • Officer Don Leslie Orville (Wayne Knight): Works for Rutherford's police department. He isn't very good at his job as a policeman. Don maintains an on-again–off-again relationship with Sally throughout the series.

Minor characters

  • Bug Pollone (David DeLuise) — One of Dick's students.
  • Leon (Ian Lithgow) — One of Dick's students, played by John Lithgow's oldest son
  • Caryn (Danielle Nicolet) — One of Dick's students. Of the four most prominent students in his class, Caryn appears to be the most intelligent.
  • Aubrey Pitman (Chris Hogan) — One of Dick's students.
  • Dr. Judith Draper (Ileen Getz) — Professor at Pendelton and colleague of Mary.
  • August Leffler (Shay Astar) — Tommy's first girlfriend (in seasons 1–4).
  • Alissa Strudwick (Larisa Oleynik) — Tommy's second girlfriend (in seasons 4–6).
  • Dr. Vincent Strudwick (Ron West) — Alissa's father and rival to Dick (in seasons 2–6).
  • The Big Giant Head (William Shatner) — The aliens' boss. He goes by the name Stone Philips on the Earth (in seasons 4 & 5).
  • Vicki Dubcek (Jan Hooks) – Daughter of Ms. Dubcek, Harry's on-off girlfriend who ends up having a child with the Big Giant Head (in seasons 2–6).
  • Dr. Liam Neesam (John Cleese) — A professor who briefly has a relationship with Mary, and is later revealed to be an evil alien (in seasons 3 & 6).

Guest stars

Episodes

There were a total of six seasons and 139 episodes in the series. The first and last seasons were 20 episodes each, and the second through fifth seasons had between 22 and 27 episodes each.

Season Episodes First airdate Last airdate
Season 1 20 January 9, 1996 May 21, 1996
Season 2 26 September 22, 1996 May 18, 1997
Season 3 27 September 24, 1997 May 20, 1998
Season 4 24 September 23, 1998 May 25, 1999
Season 5 22 September 21, 1999 May 23, 2000
Season 6 20 October 24, 2000 May 22, 2001

As a side note, out of 139 episodes of the series, 108 episodes contain "Dick" in the title (in reference to John Lithgow's character). While some of the episode titles with "Dick" in it are innocent (i.e., "Tom, Dick and Mary", "Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus"), others are more risque and often are double entendres (i.e., "Sensitive Dick", "A Dick Replacement", "Frozen Dick", "Shall We Dick"), due to the fact that the word "Dick" is both a short form of Richard and a vulgar slang term for penis. One episode from season six used an acronym for a title "B.D.O.C.", since the full title ("Big Dick on Campus") was too risque.

Nielsen rankings

Season Rank
1st 1996 #22[3]
2nd 1996–1997 #28[4]
3rd 1997–1998 #44[5]
4th 1998–1999 #77[6]
5th 1999–2000 #82[7]
6th 2000–2001 #89[8]

Theme music and opening sequence

The show's opening theme music was composed by Ben Vaughn, and is a 1950s-style rock-and-roll instrumental piece; the theme was extended slightly in season three, when Simbi Khali, Elmarie Wendel and Wayne Knight were officially made series regulars and added to the opening credits. Alternate versions of the theme were used during the course of the show's run. For Christmas episodes, jingle bells were added to the theme. For the season six two-part episode "Dick'll Take Manhattan", a modern jazz underline version of the theme was used. The only major change to the theme was in season five, when the original Ben Vaughn version was replaced by a big band cover of the theme, performed by the group Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and was only used during that season.

The opening title sequence, which was produced by London-based graphic design firm SVC Television, opens with computerized shots of planets and celestial bodies, some either with the planets dancing or moving in warp speed. It opens and closes with a shot of Earth (which at the open is where the show's title logo appears, after a sunburst appears on the side of Earth). For the episode "Dick'll Take Manhattan", the typface of the cast and creators' names was altered for that episode.

Reruns/Syndication

In the United States, the series is distributed for syndication by Carsey-Warner Distribution, and entered broadcast syndication in September 2000 where it continued until the fall of 2004. The series continues to air in select large markets (such as WWME-CA in Chicago), but is not in wide distribution. ABC Family obtained cable television rights to the show in 2004, and aired for less than a year. Reruns of the series currently air on TV Land.

International broadcasters

Country Channel Current Broadcaster? Notes
 UK BBC2 No Original broadcaster
 UK Sky1 No Original broadcaster
 UK ITV2 No Latter broadcaster
 UK ITV4 No Latter broadcaster
 UK Sci-Fi Channel Yes Reruns
 UK Comedy Central Yes Reruns
 Australia Seven Network No
 Australia FOX Classics No
 Australia 111 Hits Yes Reruns
 Austria ATV No
 Germany ZDF No Original broadcaster
 Germany RTL No Original broadcaster
 Germany Kabel 1 No Original broadcaster
 Spain Cuatro Yes
 Finland MTV3 Yes Reruns
 Estonia TV6 Yes Reruns
 New Zealand TV2 Yes Reruns
Middle East MBC4 No
 Indonesia Jak-TV No
 Bulgaria GTV Yes
 Kosovo Kohavision No
 Albania Tring Serial No
 Republic of Macedonia Telma No
 Republic of Macedonia Nasa TV Yes Reruns
 Romania Naţional TV No
 Serbia B92 No
 Costa Rica Repretel No
 Slovenia TV Pika Yes Reruns
 Slovenia Kanal A Yes Reruns
 Sweden TV4 Yes
 Norway TV2 Yes Reruns
 India Star World No
 Philippines ABS-CBN 2 No Latter broadcaster
 Portugal RTP2 No Original Broadcast
 Poland RTL7 No Original Broadcast
 Portugal Sic Radical No Reruns
 The Netherlands NCRV No Original Broadcast
 The Netherlands Comedy Central Yes Reruns
 Turkey ComedyMax Yes
 Brazil Sony Entertainment Television No

Major TV Awards & Nominations

In 1997, 3rd Rock won the most Emmy Awards (five from eight nominations) for a television series:

  • 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001 — Outstanding Lead Actor — Comedy Series — John Lithgow
  • 1997, 1998, 1999 — Outstanding Supporting Actress — Comedy Series — Kristen Johnston
  • 1996, 1997 — Outstanding Hairstyling For A Series — Pixie Schwartz
  • 1996 — Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series — James Burrows
  • 1998 — Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series — Terry Hughes
  • 1997 — Outstanding Special Visual Effects — Glen Bennett, Visual Effects Artists; Patrick Shearn, Visual Effects Supervisor; Chris Staves, Visual Effects Artists
  • 1997, 1999, 2000 — Outstanding Sound Mixing — Comedy Series
  • 1998 — Outstanding Sound Mixing — Comedy Series — "A Nightmare on Dick Street"
  • 1997, 1998 — Outstanding Costume Design — Series — Melina Root
  • 1997, 1998 — Outstanding Comedy Series
  • 1997 — Outstanding Choreography — Marguerite Derricks
  • 1998 — Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series — Jan Hooks as Vicki Dubcek
  • 1998 — Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series — John Cleese as Dr. Neesam
  • 1999, 2000 — Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing For A Series
  • 1999 — Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series — Kathy Bates as Charlotte Everly; and Laurie Metcalf as Jennifer
  • 1999 — Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series — William Shatner as The Big Giant Head
  • 2000 — Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-Camera Series

John Lithgow received an Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for each year the show was broadcast, winning the Emmy in 1996, 1997, and 1999. Accepting the 1999 award he said "Many wonderful things have happened to me in my life, but the two best are 3rd Rock and my family."[9]

Golden Globe Awards

  • 1997 — Best Actor in a Television Comedy or Musical — John Lithgow

Screen Actors Guild Awards

  • 1996, 1997 — Best Male Actor — Comedy Series — John Lithgow

DVD releases

All six seasons of 3rd Rock from the Sun have been released on DVD in Region 1 by Anchor Bay Entertainment and in Region 2 by Network DVD. Ironically, the sixth season was the first to be released in the UK, as early as 2002, but it was re-released when the fifth season was released. The complete series box-set featuring every episode was re-released in the UK on November 3, 2008. While the Network DVD sets were unedited, the Anchor Bay Entertainment sets featured syndicated episodes of the first two seasons.

Season Ep# Release Date
Region 1 Region 2 Region 4
1 20 July 6, 2005 May 17, 2004 November 9, 2005
2 26 October 25, 2005 June 21, 2004 November 9, 2005
3 27 February 21, 2006 August 30, 2004 February 8, 2006
4 24 May 2, 2006 October 25, 2004 July 6, 2006
5 22 August 15, 2006 January 24, 2005 February 7, 2007
6 20 November 14, 2006 June 10, 2002 February 7, 2007
Complete Box Set
(Seasons 1–6)
139 TBA October 25, 2004 TBA

Other media

A tie-in book, 3rd Rock from the Sun: The Official Report, was released in 1997. Its pages are printed in black and white; however, there are several glossy colored pictures in the center pages featuring various cast members on the show.

The book is essentially a report of their findings during their stay on Earth (although in Dick Solomon's foreword, he states that the report has been requested too early). Primarily a source of humor, the book includes such features as "What to do if you encounter Jell-O", a fan biography of Katie Couric written by Harry, and Sally's version of a Cosmo quiz. Portions of the book are included in the Booklets inside each season set of the series.

Despite the report's being set within the fictional world of 3rd Rock, there is a foreword written by John Lithgow himself in which he explains how he was abducted by the 3rd Rock producers and forced to work on their production. There is a post-it note attached to the foreword, apparently written by Dick Solomon, stating that he doesn't know why the foreword is there, but that Lithgow is an Earth actor who appeared in "some helicopter movie." A black and white picture of the 3rd Rock cast and crew is also included at the end of the book.

References

  1. ^ 3rd Rock from the Sun filming locations at IMDb
  2. ^ "3rd Rock from the Sun: Summary". TV.com. http://www.tv.com/3rd-rock-from-the-sun/show/181/summary.html. Retrieved 2007-09-03. 
  3. ^ "1995–1996 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  4. ^ "1996–1997 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  5. ^ "1997–1998 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  6. ^ "1998–1999 TV Ratings Retrieved July 24, 2008. Archived 2009-10-22.
  7. ^ "Top TV Shows for 1999–2000 Season
  8. ^ "2000–2001 TV Ratings Retrieved July 24, 2008.
  9. ^ "Academy of Television Arts & Sciences". Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. http://www.emmys.org/awards/awardsearch.php. Retrieved 2007-09-18. 

External links

Preceded by
The X-Files
1997
3rd Rock from the Sun
Super Bowl lead-out program
1998
Succeeded by
The Simpsons
and
Family Guy
1999

3rd Rock from the Sun
File:3rd Rock from the
Title card
Format Sitcom / Science fiction
Created by Bonnie Turner and Terry Turner
Starring John Lithgow
Kristen Johnston
French Stewart
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Jane Curtin (all, entire run)
Simbi Khali
Elmarie Wendel
Wayne Knight (all, seasons 3–6; recurring previously)
Theme music composer Ben Vaughn
(seasons 1–4 and 6)
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (season 5)
Country of origin United States
Language(s) English
No. of seasons 6
No. of episodes 139 (List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Bonnie Turner
Terry Turner
Marcy Carsey
Tom Werner
Caryn Mandabach
Linwood Boomer (season 1)
Bill Martin
Mike Schiff (seasons 3–5)
David Sacks (seasons 4–5)
Bob Kushell
Christine Zander (seasons 5–6)
David Goetsch
Jason Venokur (season 6)
Producer(s) Patrick Kienlen
David Goetsch
Jason Venokur
David M. Israel
Jim O'Doherty
Andrew Orenstein
Michael Glouberman
Gregg Mettler (producer)
Tim Ryder
Aron Abrams
Gregory Thompson (co-producer)
Location(s) Rutherford, Ohio (setting)
CBS Studio Center, Studio City, Los Angeles, California (filming location)[1]
Camera setup Film; Multi-camera
Running time 22 minutes
Production company(s) The Carsey-Warner Company
Distributor Carsey-Werner Distribution
Broadcast
Original channel NBC
Original run January 9, 1996 (1996-01-09) – May 22, 2001 (2001-05-22)
Status Ended
External links
Official website

3rd Rock from the Sun (sometimes referred to as simply 3rd Rock) is an American sitcom that aired from 1996 to 2001 on NBC. The show is about a group of extraterrestrials on an expedition of what they consider to be the least important planet, Earth (the "third rock" from the Sun), while posing as a human family of four, to observe human beings.

Contents

Overview

Basic premise

"As many intelligent people know, aliens are all around us. This is a story of a band of four such explorers. In order to blend in, they have assumed human form. This is the High Commander [Dick]. He has assembled an elite team of experts: A decorated military officer [Sally], a seasoned intelligence specialist [Tommy] and, well, they had an extra seat [Harry]."[2]

The premise of the show revolves around an extraterrestrial research expedition attempting to live as a normal human family in the fictional city of Rutherford, Ohio, where they live in a loft apartment. Humor was principally derived from the aliens' attempts to study human society and, because of their living as humans themselves while on Earth, to understand the human condition. In later episodes, they became more accustomed to Earth and often became more interested in their human lives than in their mission.

Dick Solomon (John Lithgow), the High Commander and leader of the expedition, is the family provider, and takes a position as a physics professor at Pendelton State University. Information officer Tommy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has been given the body of a teenager and is forced to enroll in high school (later college), leaving security officer Sally (Kristen Johnston) and communications officer Harry (French Stewart) to spend their lives as thirty somethings hanging out at home and bouncing through short-term jobs.

The family often communicates with their off-world (and usually unseen) boss, the Big Giant Head (William Shatner). His orders are received through Harry, who unexpectedly (and often in inconvenient circumstances) stands up, his arms stiff (acting as the antenna), and proclaims: "Incoming message from the Big Giant Head."

Sources of humor

The show derived much humor from the contrast between the outward appearance adopted by each of the aliens and his or her actual, internal nature. Dick, far from being a wise and fatherly figurehead, is arrogant, self-absorbed, petulant, faddish, and often downright foolish. Inside Sally’s glamorous form lives the weapons and security officer: uncouth, swaggering, and macho. Tommy, the oldest of the group, is morphed into a teenager, his wisdom and life experience at odds with the strange and often humiliating life in which his teenage persona and raging hormones cast him. Only the oddball of the group, Harry, seems comfortable with Earth – yet he is the weirdest of them all, particularly when his built-in radio function takes unexpected control over his body, relaying orders from the aliens' home world in an odd, booming voice.

Typical episode themes

Almost all the episodes revolve around the Solomons' difficulty integrating themselves into Earth culture and understanding human customs — often their view of Earth realities is distorted by the fact that almost all of their experience of Earth comes through the media, especially television, rather than firsthand experience.

Details about their alien nature are rarely given and inconsistent, except to reinforce the idea that their former lives were almost barren of emotion and most of the relationships humans have with each other. Their original forms, for example, are described as nonsexual, with reproduction a matter of sending packets of genetic material to each other in the mail. Leaders like The Big Giant Head are unelected and assumed infallible (in fact, it is stated that politicians on their planet are chosen by seeing which one can outrun the giant fireball). The upshot is that living in an Earth culture provides the Solomons with an almost intolerable degree of emotional stimulation and conflict, which they are very ill-equipped to handle.

Some of the episodes seemingly derive their comedy from affectionate send-ups of TV and films. For example, in the episode "Father Knows Dick," when Harry finds out he is a transmitter, he "goes off the rails" (complete with red jacket as worn by Jim in Rebel Without a Cause), yells "You're tearing me apart!" and goes off to play "chicken" with a tough guy in a bar (but ends up buying fried chicken from KFC instead). In the episode "Dick's Big Giant Headache," both Dick and the Big Giant Head mention seeing something on the wing of the plane after having traveled by airline, a nod to both John Lithgow and William Shatner having played the same role (one in the original story, and one in a remake) of the passenger who sees a gremlin on the wing in The Twilight Zone. In another episode, a face-slapping session with Dick and Sally pastiches the Chinatown sequence: "She's my daughter; my sister; my daughter." In "When Aliens Camp," the Solomons and Mary go on a disastrous camping trip. Dick is captured by a bunch of boy scouts and instantly turns "native", painting his face and sighing "The horror" in a spoof of Marlon Brando's character in Apocalypse Now. In a tribute to silent movies, one episode shows Sally holding a plank on her shoulder and turning from side to side as Tommy ducks, and Harry gets hit. In "Eleven Angry Men and One Dick", Dick is a jury member and while arguing with other members he says "You want the truth? Well, I can't handle the truth", which is a tribute to Jack Nicholson's role in "A Few Good Men".

Common mythology

Occasionally references would be made to specific features of the aliens' abilities and of their experiences on their own world, which built up a common mythology for the show. The theme of the idiot savant repeatedly resurfaces, since each member of the family makes up for their extreme naïveté with some special skill owing to their alien nature.

Though Dick's understanding of physics is far weaker than his son Tommy's, it is implied that even his basic scientific knowledge makes advanced Earth physics appear rudimentary, leading to his becoming respected in his field despite his childish behavior. A well-known segment from an episode has him reading a passage from A Brief History of Time and laughing hysterically at Stephen Hawking's description of virtual particles. Even so, Dick is often shown as the member of the family with the least to recommend him in terms of ability, leading them to question his right to his command. Sally, for instance, is depicted as not only having an attractive body (she is sometimes described as being Amazonian), but being amazingly physically strong and fit, able to fight and defeat large groups of men much larger than she (even when doing so is unnecessary and culturally inappropriate).

Tommy, similarly, has been trained with the ability of near-instant recall and has an encyclopedic knowledge about Earth society, which unfortunately seems useless in terms of helping him make appropriate decisions, but ensures that he remains a straight-A student.

Harry is most fascinating, since his behavior is bizarre, unstable and borderline mentally disabled even for a Solomon (a condition, it is implied, engendered by the chip in his brain that allows him to communicate with the home planet), yet somehow this mental condition gives him an inexplicable sex appeal for women and makes him the only Solomon with any talent in the arts — Harry often seems to have a knack for all fine arts, including music and theater, and is consistently shown as being an incredibly talented painter, especially as a portraitist and caricaturist, though his inability to verbally articulate his artistic ideas – or, in fact, any ideas at all – in an intelligent fashion sinks his efforts at making a living through his talent.

One of Dick's driving motivations becomes his desire to master drawing, acting, music, or other pursuits — all of which he fails at miserably because of his lack of understanding of how the clearly less intelligent Harry could possibly possess talents he does not.

Relationships with humans

Each alien became involved in various relationships with humans throughout the course of the series, primarily focusing on Dick's infatuation – at first met with disgust and then, finally, reciprocation – with anthropology professor Dr. Mary Albright (Jane Curtin), who shares an office with him. Much is often made of Mary's angst, insecurity, and neuroses brought on by a lifetime of studying the human condition as well as an unstable relationship with her parents, and the cheerful, childlike naïveté displayed by Dick, the primary factor in him that attracts her.

Sally similarly acquires a long-term boyfriend, Officer Don Orville (Wayne Knight), an overweight and incompetent police officer who becomes attracted to her after several incidents in which he is forced to confront or arrest the Solomons for various crimes. The two generally have conversations while speaking in a manner similar to an old 1930s crime drama.

Tommy manages an on-again/off-again relationship with August Leffler (Shay Astar), a reserved ice queen teenager and later the more bubbly Alissa Strudwick (Larisa Oleynik).

Harry has a relationship with his landlord Mrs. Dubcek's (Elmarie Wendel) daughter Vicki (played by Jan Hooks), in an on-screen relationship that often features overly melodramatic scenes. Harry, despite no apparent skills in the art of seduction, also manages to foil a plot to dissolve the Earth by seducing Mascha (Cindy Crawford), one of a coven of strikingly beautiful Venusians who tried to overthrow the Earth by seducing its men into giving them everything of value.

Some humor comes from the fact that at some point in the show most of the character relationships have been mixed up — a strange attraction is briefly shown between Mary and Tommy because of their similar passion for the social sciences and the study of humanity, in which Tommy chooses to step aside and let Dick pursue her instead. Nina (Simbi Khali), Dick's assistant who primarily serves as his straight man and comic foil, is seen briefly having a fling with Harry. Mrs. Dubcek also, who is at first merely a source of comic relief, her own bizarre foibles and imperceptibly causing her to be a terrible role model for proper human behavior to the Solomons, is revealed to have had a fling with Harry.

Plot twists

Initially, the only reference to the aliens' true forms is a comment made in the first episode, when upon discovering that human heads cannot swivel to 180 degrees, Dick queries: "How do they lick their backs?". As time went on, the show began to intersperse concrete references to the aliens' nature and their home world which played a role in affecting the show's plot. They usually described their original bodies as "gelatinous purple tubes" that lacked sex organs or most of the forms of physical definition that humans possess. In fact, when Sally asks why she had to be the woman, Dick reminds her that she lost the draw. Evidently, individuals in their species are so near-identical to each other that the Solomons were unaware of the concept of race or ethnicity, and had never invented one for themselves, leading them to attempt to choose one (a source of humor since the Solomons all appear quite white), eventually deciding that they are Jewish because of their surname, which they had taken from the side of a truck.

Occasionally, the Solomons would encounter or think they encountered other extraterrestrials — the most long-lasting such gag being the Solomons' belief that Jell-O is an offshoot of a hostile, amorphous, carnivorous species they have often encountered, prompting them to go into hysterics whenever they see it served and attempt to destroy it. Their first brief encounter with snow was believed to have been attacks from a swarm of albino brain chiggers.

The name of the Solomons' home planet (if they indeed have one) is never revealed throughout the course of the series; in the show's dialogue, it is referred to as simply "The Home Planet." It is located in a barred spiral galaxy on the Cepheus-Draco border. Major twists in the plot, often shown in the various season finales, tended to involve contact with the home planet, involving their superiors' ongoing disapproval at the Solomons' antics and their becoming a laughing stock among their peers.

Cast

3rd Rock maintained a constant ensemble cast, the four main characters – Dick, Sally, Tommy, Harry – with the exception of Tommy, all appearing on the show for every episode of the six seasons it ran. Several other main characters who left or joined the show through its original run supplemented these four, and numerous guest stars and one-time characters supplemented all of them. The three male aliens' names are a play on the phrase "Tom, Dick and Harry" which is a placeholder for multiple unspecified people. (When Don eventually notices this, they look uncomfortable and Tommy says "Well, it's not like it was a deliberate attempt to seem ordinary or anything," which is of course exactly what it is.)

Main characters

[[File:|thumb|100pix|John Lithgow as Dick, Kristen Johnston as Sally, French Stewart as Harry, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tommy and Jane Curtin as Mary.]]

  • Dick Solomon (John Lithgow): The High Commander and head of the expedition to Earth. Is often the most childlike member of the group, being, ironically, the youngest of the crew, despite being the oldest family member. Much of the behavioral or societal-based troubles faced by the crew in their mission while on Earth frequently arise from some juvenile act perpetrated by Dick, troubles which in turn are forced to be overcome by the entire troupe with a great deal of reluctance.
  • Sally Solomon (Kristen Johnston): With a rank of Lieutenant, she is the security officer and second-in-command. She has been called Dick’s sister, but was sometimes introduced as Tommy's sister earlier in the series, and, on one occasion, claimed to be his mother, although never Dick's daughter and certainly not his spouse; failure to clarify the exact relationship between Tommy, Harry, and Sally led to humorous confusion whenever either Harry or Sally attempted to act as Tommy's guardian. Sally was chosen to be the woman because she apparently lost some sort of contest and was not too thrilled about it; while the alien species is described as asexual, Sally seems to have a harder time trying to figure out womanhood than the others do manhood. She filed a request to be made male early in the mission, though later decided she liked being a woman.
  • Harry Solomon (French Stewart): Originally he was not part of the mission, but just happened to go for the ride because an extra seat was available. Later, it became known that a chip was in his head, and he became the Communicator or Transmitter. Occasionally, he will get a message from the Solomons' leader, the Big Giant Head, and shake violently in the middle of a sentence and squat down, with his arms at 90-degree angles, declaring "Incoming message from the Big Giant Head!", before going through the motions of delivering the message. He posed as Dick and Sally's brother, and Tommy's uncle.
  • Tommy Solomon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): Information Officer and next-in-command. Tommy plays the role of Dick's adolescent son, yet he is the oldest and smartest of all the aliens. Throughout the series, Tommy continually reminded the others of his superior intelligence and greater age. Gordon-Levitt left the series (after the fifth season concluded) as a primary character, only appearing as a recurring character in just over half the episodes of season six.
  • Dr. Mary Albright (Jane Curtin): Dick's colleague and on-and-off girlfriend. Mary felt that Dick was an insensitive idiot, but she could not avoid the infatuation of his quirkiness or childlike actions. Reference is often made to the insecurity caused by her bad parenting, and the fact that before Dick arrived, she was known for sleeping around, and had even been nicknamed "Dr. Slutbunny."
  • Nina Campbell (Simbi Khali): Dick and Mary's administrative assistant, who often has to put up with Dick demanding things of her that she isn't paid to do (such as taking his car to have its tires rotated) to which she takes a no-nonsense stance. Generally, Nina considers Dick to be an idiot, sexist, and a jerk, and sometimes wonders why Mary dates him. However, there are moments when this pair does appear to actually get along.
  • Mrs. Mamie Dubcek (Elmarie Wendel): The Solomons' loose, clueless, and carefree landlady who has a very active love life and often makes reference to her sexual escapades (once bringing the Solomons a letter that "the mailman accidentally left in [her] bedroom"). Despite being the Solomons' landlady, she has a friend-like relationship with them, and she often appears in their apartment.
  • Officer Don Leslie Orville (Wayne Knight): Works for Rutherford's police department. He isn't very good at his job as a police officer. Don maintains an on-again–off-again relationship with Sally throughout the series.

Minor characters

Guest stars

Episodes

There were a total of six seasons and 139 episodes in the series. The first and last seasons were 20 episodes each, and the second through fifth seasons had between 22 and 27 episodes each.

Season Episodes First airdate Last airdate
Season 1 20 January 9, 1996 May 21, 1996
Season 2 26 September 22, 1996 May 18, 1997
Season 3 27 September 24, 1997 May 20, 1998
Season 4 24 September 23, 1998 May 25, 1999
Season 5 22 September 21, 1999 May 23, 2000
Season 6 20 October 24, 2000 May 22, 2001

As a side note, out of 139 episodes of the series, 108 episodes contain "Dick" in the title (in reference to John Lithgow's character). While some of the episode titles with "Dick" in it are innocent (i.e., "Tom, Dick and Mary", "Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus"), others are more risque and often are double entendres (i.e., "Sensitive Dick", "A Dick Replacement", "Frozen Dick", "Shall We Dick"), due to the fact that the word "Dick" is both a short form of Richard and a slang term for penis. One episode from season six used an acronym for a title, "B.D.O.C.", since the full title ("Big Dick on Campus") was too risque.

Nielsen rankings

Season Rank
1st 1996 #22[3]
2nd 1996–1997 #28[4]
3rd 1997–1998 #44[5]
4th 1998–1999 #77[6]
5th 1999–2000 #82[7]
6th 2000–2001 #89[8]

Theme music and opening sequence

The show's opening theme music was composed by Ben Vaughn, and is a 1950s-style rock-and-roll instrumental piece; the theme was extended slightly in season three, when Simbi Khali, Elmarie Wendel and Wayne Knight were officially made series regulars and added to the opening credits. Alternate versions of the theme were used during the course of the show's run. For Christmas episodes, jingle bells were added to the theme. For the season six two-part episode "Dick'll Take Manhattan", a modern jazz underline version of the theme was used. The only major change to the theme was in season five, when the original Ben Vaughn version was replaced by a big band cover of the theme, performed by the group Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, and was only used during that season.

The opening title sequence, which was produced by the London graphic design firm SVC Television, opens with computerized shots of planets and celestial bodies, some either with the planets dancing or moving in warp speed. It opens and closes with a shot of Earth (which at the open is where the show's title logo appears, after a sunburst appears on the side of Earth). For the episode "Dick'll Take Manhattan" only, the typeface of the cast and creators' names was altered.

Reruns/syndication

In the United States, the series is distributed for syndication by Carsey-Warner Distribution, and entered broadcast syndication in September 2000 where it continued until the fall of 2004. The series continues to air in select large markets, but is not in wide distribution. ABC Family obtained cable television rights to the show in 2004, which it aired for less than a year. Reruns of the series aired on TV Land from 2008 through 2010. In fall of 2010, ReelzChannel began airing the series. In the UK cable network Virgin Media currently has 40 episodes from Seasons 1 & 2 available 'On Demand' from the Comedy Central menu option.

Major television awards & nominations

In 1997, 3rd Rock won the most Emmy Awards (five from eight nominations) for a television series:

  • 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001 — Outstanding Lead Actor — Comedy Series — John Lithgow
  • 1997, 1998, 1999 — Outstanding Supporting Actress — Comedy Series — Kristen Johnston
  • 1996, 1997 — Outstanding Hairstyling For A Series — Pixie Schwartz
  • 1996 — Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series — James Burrows
  • 1998 — Outstanding Directing For A Comedy Series — Terry Hughes
  • 1997 — Outstanding Special Visual Effects — Glen Bennett, Visual Effects Artists; Patrick Shearn, Visual Effects Supervisor; Chris Staves, Visual Effects Artists
  • 1997, 1999, 2000 — Outstanding Sound Mixing — Comedy Series
  • 1998 — Outstanding Sound Mixing — Comedy Series — "A Nightmare on Dick Street"
  • 1997, 1998 — Outstanding Costume Design — Series — Melina Root
  • 1997, 1998 — Outstanding Comedy Series
  • 1997 — Outstanding Choreography — Marguerite Derricks
  • 1998 — Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series — Jan Hooks as Vicki Dubcek
  • 1998 — Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series — John Cleese as Dr. Neesam
  • 1999, 2000 — Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing For A Series
  • 1999 — Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series — Kathy Bates as Charlotte Everly; and Laurie Metcalf as Jennifer
  • 1999 — Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series — William Shatner as The Big Giant Head
  • 2000 — Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-Camera Series

John Lithgow received an Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series for each year the show was broadcast, winning the Emmy in 1996, 1997, and 1999. Accepting the 1999 award he said "Many wonderful things have happened to me in my life, but the two best are 3rd Rock and my family."[9]

Golden Globe Awards

  • 1997 — Best Actor in a Television Comedy or Musical — John Lithgow

Screen Actors Guild Awards

  • 1996, 1997 — Best Male Actor — Comedy Series — John Lithgow

DVD releases

All six seasons of 3rd Rock from the Sun have been released on DVD in Region 1 by Anchor Bay Entertainment and in Region 2 by Network DVD. Ironically, the sixth season was the first to be released in the UK, as early as 2002, but it was re-released when the fifth season was released. The complete series box-set featuring every episode was re-released in the UK on November 3, 2008. While the Network DVD sets were unedited, the Anchor Bay Entertainment sets featured syndicated episodes of the first two seasons.

In Region 4, Magna Pacific has released all six seasons on DVD in Australia/New Zealand.

Season Ep# Release Date
Region 1 Region 2 Region 4
1 20 July 6, 2005 May 17, 2004 November 9, 2005
2 26 October 25, 2005 June 21, 2004 November 9, 2005
3 27 February 21, 2006 August 30, 2004 February 8, 2006
4 24 May 2, 2006 October 25, 2004 July 6, 2006
5 22 August 15, 2006 January 24, 2005 February 7, 2007
6 20 November 14, 2006 June 10, 2002 February 7, 2007
Complete Box Set
(Seasons 1–6)
139 May 22, 2007 October 25, 2004 TBA

Other media

A tie-in book, 3rd Rock from the Sun: The Official Report, was released in 1997. It is essentially a report of the Solomon's findings during their stay on Earth. Primarily a source of humor, the book includes such features as "What to do if you encounter Jell-O", a fan biography of Katie Couric written by Harry, and Sally's version of a Cosmo quiz. Portions of the book are included in the booklets inside each season set of the series.

Despite the report's being set within the fictional world of 3rd Rock, there is a foreword written by John Lithgow himself in which he explains how he was abducted by the 3rd Rock producers and forced to work on their production. There is a Post-it note attached to the foreword, apparently written by Dick Solomon, stating that he doesn't know why the foreword is there, but that Lithgow is an Earth actor who appeared in "some helicopter movie".

See also

References

  1. ^ 3rd Rock from the Sun filming locations at IMDb
  2. ^ "3rd Rock from the Sun: Summary". TV.com. http://www.tv.com/3rd-rock-from-the-sun/show/181/summary.html. Retrieved 2007-09-03. 
  3. ^ "1995–1996 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  4. ^ "1996–1997 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  5. ^ "1997–1998 TV Ratings Retrieved July 25, 2008.
  6. ^ "1998–1999 TV Ratings Retrieved July 24, 2008. Archived 2009-10-22.
  7. ^ "Top TV Shows for 1999–2000 Season
  8. ^ "2000–2001 TV Ratings Retrieved July 24, 2008.
  9. ^ "Academy of Television Arts & Sciences". Academy of Television Arts & Sciences. http://www.emmys.org/awards/awardsearch.php. Retrieved 2007-09-18. 

External links

Preceded by
The X-Files
1997
3rd Rock from the Sun
Super Bowl lead-out program
1998
Succeeded by
The Simpsons
and
Family Guy
1999
  1. REDIRECT Template:GoldenGlobeTVComedy 1990–2009

Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

3rd Rock From the Sun was an American television situation comedy that ran from 1996 until 2001. The show was about a "family" of four extraterrestrials that landed on Earth to observe human beings, while pretending (often awkwardly) to be humans.

Contents

Season 1

Brains and Eggs

Harry: Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.

Sally: Why do I have to be the woman?
Dick: You lost.

Post Nasal Dick

Dick: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
Mary: And this is news?

Minister: We are gathered here, before God....
Dick: Now, which one of those guys is God?
Mary: Will you be quiet?
Dick: Okay, but be sure to introduce me later, because I want some answers.

Dick's First Birthday

Dick: [reading the Bible] Man, these people begat their brains out!

Dick: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
Mary: Aw, nobody's perfect.

Dick Is From Mars, Sally Is From Venus

Sally: You just can't imagine what it feels like, Dick. It's like he reached in...and pulled all the bones out of my body...
[Sally starts crying]
Dick: My God, what are you doing?
Sally: [wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!

[after drinking household chemicals]
Harry: Dick, I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.
[looks at upside-down can]
Harry: Could someone please call "1-1-6"?

Dick, Smoker

Harry: By the second day I could hear my inner voice, too.
Tommy: What was it saying?
Harry: I have no idea, I don't speak French.

Green-Eyed Dick

[Sally walks into the men's locker room]
Man: Hey, it says "men" on the door!
Sally: And you made the cut?

Dick: [to Jeff] You think you're pretty clever, don't you? I happen to know that every word in your book was published years ago! Perhaps you've read...the dictionary!

Lonely Dick

[Tommy and August meet for the first time]
August: I'm August. Don't call me "Augy".
Tommy: I'm Tommy. Don't call me "Augy" either...

Dick: I'm sure you can defeat a simple door lock.
[Tommy breaks through the window with his hand and unlocks the door]
Dick: What are you doing?! Now this is breaking and entering! It's illegal!
Tommy: What'd you expect me to do? Beam you in?

Body & Soul & Dick

Sally: How would you like your eyes in the bottom of a martini glass, 'cause I can do it?
Dr. Hamlin: [sounding delighted] Oh, the Amazon is going to manhandle me!

Harry: Oh, Dick, we've got cable! Seventy-two channels! And unlike primitive free television this one you get to pay for.

Ab-Dick-ted

Sally: I'll give you your promotion if you don't say the word "really" in the next sixty seconds.
Harry: Really?
Sally You lose!

Dick: So, no matter how obnoxious you are, how much of a burden you become, you can still count on the forgiveness of your family?
Mary: Yeah.
Dick: Even if they touch your radio and refuse to make smoked chub and disobey your orders not to kill?
Mary: Yeah... even then.
Dick: That is so beautiful!

Truth or Dick

Mrs. Dubcek: Poor kid. I remember what it's like to be your age.
Tommy: I remember what it's like to be yours.

[opera plays on the car radio]
Harry: Dick, remember how I said I wanted to learn to sing? I've changed my mind.

The Art of Dick

[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry: Here's a job I could do; "Police seek third gunman." Well, tomorrow I'm gonna march over to the police station and tell them that I'm the man they're looking for!

Dick: [talking about art] What makes them strive to create this?
Tommy: Naked women.
Dick: These are not naked women, they're nudes. Nudity is the artist passionate celebration of the human form.
Tommy: [taking an art book] Well, party on!

Frozen Dick

[Harry explains how he's reorganized the movies at Gung-Ho Videos]
Harry: [refers to one rack] Good movies. [refers to another rack] Bad movies. [refers to the rest of the room] Movies I haven't seen.

[Harry is working at a video store]
Customer: Excuse me, where can I find Aliens?
Harry: Nowhere! Not here, that's for sure. Nobody here but us humans. [in a nervous sing-song voice] La, la, la... la, la, la. [a beat] Stop looking at me!

Angry Dick

Patty Muller: I don't envy you having to take care of three men; I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
Sally: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally: [deadpan] I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: [after a beat] You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally: You let me know.

[Frank and Dick have had a fight]
Dick: Why are you suddenly so civil?
Frank Muller: Now we know each other's boundaries. You know my limits, I know your limits, so now we can respect each other.
Tommy: Wait, let me see if I've got this straight. In order to gain each other's respect, you had to resort to violent confrontations. Now doesn't that strike you as stupid?
Frank Muller: [after a beat] Kids, huh?
Dick: They don't understand the world.

The Dicks They Are A-Changin'

Mary: They opened a Hard Rock Café in Vietnam. The world's changed, huh?
Dick: It certainly has. Did you know it used to be entirely covered with ice?

[Reminiscing about the 60's]
Mary: Did you ever drop acid?
Dick: [misunderstanding] Oh, constantly.
Mary: You did a lot a tripping?
Dick: That's how I dropped the acid.

I Enjoy Being A Dick

Tommy: Sally, I got a question for you. We've been on the planet a while now and I've just been wondering if we were to tell someone we cared about where we were actually from, do you think it'd be so dangerous?
Sally: No, not at all, Tommy. In fact I've already told Mrs. Dubcek and the mailman, uh, and a nice guy down at the mini-mall, BECAUSE I WANT US ALL TO DIE LIKE LAB RATS AT THE HANDS OF PRIMITIVE SCIENTISTS!!!

Harry: I want to make the world a better place. I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.
Tommy: They have electricity.
Harry: Ah, then my work is done!

Dick Like Me

Mr Randell: Well, uh, the truth is that, uh, I think Tommy could do a lot better.
Dick: Be careful sir. You're talking about the creature I've come to think of as my son.

[about Tommy's teacher, Mr Randell]
Sally: He's giving off this vibe? Can't you feel it?
Dick: Yes I think I do. Does it feel like a stabbing pain in your left buttock?
Sally: Uh, no.
[Dick reaches under his chair]
Dick: Then I appear to be sitting on a tack.
[Holds up a tack]

Assault With A Deadly Dick

Dick: What kind of a place is this where you can't wave handfuls of money around in the middle of the night?

Dick: Okay, let's get this straight; I don't care how much it costs, I don't care how difficult it is to accomplish, I want a security system that will guarantee every moment of our lives will be filled with a sense of absolute safety and contentment.
Salesman: That would be the ElectroFort 2000. The alarm connects directly to our command center downtown, where we immediately dispatch trained patrol men to your door.
Sally: I see. I just have one question.
Salesman: Sure.
Sally: Where do I bury my family after the burglars have pumped bullets into their skulls while your guys are strolling over?

Father Knows Dick

Dick: You've got a thing in your head.
Harry: A thing?
Dick: Cranial micro receiver chip.
Harry: In my head.
Dick: But it's not in the part you use; it's in your brain.

Dick: Tomorrow there will be a pop quiz on the effects of thermal dynamics. Remember it's a pop quiz; if you study, I'll know!

Selfish Dick

Sally: I've seen stuff that would make your eyes burst out of your sockets and splatter against the wall... in fact, I've seen that, too.

Dick: A terrible injustice has been done.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said a great injustice has been done!
Professor Suter: [annoyed] I heard you. What's the big injustice?
Dick: Someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you.
Professor Suter: What?
Dick: [raising his voice] I said someone has taken something that rightfully belongs to you!

See Dick Run

[Dick meets his replacement for the first time]
Dick: You! You're gorgeous!
[Dick is locked in an invisible box and feels the walls]
Dick: Oh my God! He's turned me into a mime!

[after learning that the "family" are returning to their home planet]
Dick: I wish I had a machine that could freeze time...
[Mary looks at him questioningly]
Dick: Unfortunately, I left it in my other jacket.

Season 2

See Dick Continue to Run: Part I

Tommy: You work at the university.
Evil Dick: [smugly] Ah, so I own the university.
Tommy: Well, not so much run as teach a physics class.
Evil Dick: I'm a teacher? Were all the janitor's jobs taken?

Evil Dick: You see, I am building the greatest incubator these puny humans have ever known. And when it is completed, I will spawn my own private army of —
[The crew stares at him apprehensively]
Evil Dick: Of... fuzzy Easter chicks.

See Dick Continue to Run: Part 2

Evil Dick: Watch the destruction my little device wreaks on the world you love so well.
Dick: [outraged] What have you done to our toaster?

Dick: Oh, Mary! You have to get away from here!
Mary: You want me to try to escape?
Dick: Yes!
Mary: [pretending to struggle] Oh, let me go, let me go! How's that?

Hotel Dick

[Dick wants to tell Mary that he's an alien, but the others forbid it]
Sally: Well fine, but let it be on your own head!
Tommy: Which will probably be sitting next to our heads on a tray somewhere in New Mexico!

Harry: [to people who haven't yet seen a movie] Attention, ticket holders! At the end of the movie, when the President turns out to be an alien and he barbecues all the Congressmen, don't believe it because aliens hate barbecue!

Big Angry Virgin From Outer Space

Sally: The worst part is I'm still a virgin!
Mary: Oh my God, you're a virgin?
Sally: Yes, it's horrible!
Mary: No, it's perfectly all right for you to save yourself for the right man.
Sally: Like you did for Dick?
Mary: [after a long pause] Yes.

Tommy: People change for their lovers all the time. For example, I stopped wearing Old Spice and August stopped telling me to stop wearing Old Spice.

Much Ado About Dick

Tommy: Harry, I need a ride.
Harry: Nope.
Tommy: You know, I outrank you.
Harry: In that case... no, sir!

[Harry is watching "Looney Tunes" and Tommy wants a ride from him]
Tommy: I'll tell you what: if the Road Runner wins this next one, you take me, but if he doesn't... I'll never ask you again.
Harry: Okay, you're on. I've seem this next scheme before and it's far too brilliant to fail twice.

Dick the Vote

Dick: What's the point of having a democracy, if everybody's going to vote wrong?

Gansmiller: [about Harry] Damn! No past, no experience, no record... the perfect candidate.

Fourth and Dick

Dick: Badgers don't suck! They bite!

Dick: Ah, yes, the "big game." God forbid your intellectual development should get in the way of the "big game." The fate of humanity rests on the outcome of the "big game."
Bug: Is he being sarcastic?

World's Greatest Dick

Tommy: I've got to be in a regular school; one with metal detectors and pregnant cheerleaders.

Dick: I'm banned? Well guess what, Tommy didn't even want to come to this robot-factory-outlet. I made him. Me! Me! Me! Now I'm putting him back into a real school, where he can be himself. Not a school where kids are judged on how well they test or much they know. Where they aren't judged at all! Where they have the freedom to stay faceless and nameless. From K through twelve, carrying their diplomas straight through the golden arches, and on into their waiting McJobs! C'mon, Tommy, we're going home.

My Mother The Alien

[Mrs. Dubcek wants the aliens to babysit her grandson]
Mrs. Dubcek: He's had his nap and he's just been changed.
Sally: What was he before?

Mrs. Dubcek: He's got teeth coming in.
Harry: Well, don't worry; we'll sign for them.

Gobble, Gobble, Dick, Dick

Dick: [explaining Thanksgiving] It's a national holiday.
Tommy: What, like Big Giant Head Day?
Dick: Similar...except that no one gets thrown into the sun.

[Tommy picks up two pool balls, holds them in the air and then drops them so they land back on the table]
Tommy: Excuse me, this game's not three-dimensional, is it?

Dick Jokes

Tommy: Okay, could you give me an example of what's funny?
August: I thought the movie Emma was very funny.
Tommy: What was so funny about it?
August: It was full of irony.
Tommy: Okay, so irony's funny?
August: Yeah, because you say one thing while the opposite is actually true.
Tommy: Oh, like when you said Emma was going to be a really great movie when it actually sucked out loud?

Harry: I lost more than a coat, Tommy. I lost a friend — a buddy — a companion who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was kind of too hot to be wearing a coat.

Jolly Old St. Dick

Dick: Who needs Christmas anyway? I say "bug humbar.

Nina: You know, this is the only time of year I like White music.

Proud Dick

Harry: Thank you for seeing me, Father. I didn't know where else to turn.
Priest: Well, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

Dick: Welcome to Rusty's. How may I serve you?
Customer: How do you make your burgers?
Dick: Excellent question. First, a clamp comes down onto the cow's head, forcing it onto a conveyor belt, where a prod is inserted into the cow's rectum, electrocuting it.
Customer: Gimme two.
Dick: Thank you, and remember: at Rusty's, E-coli is not on the menu.
Doug: Stop saying that!

Romeo & Juliet & Dick

Officer Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.
Tommy: Isn't that the plot to The Lion King?

Dick: You were good: you had delivery, presence, timing, you just didn't have that indefinable something extra.
Tommy: I was just trying to score some points with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?
Dick: Romeo and Juliet is a Shakespearian tragedy, it has nothing to do with a horny teenager and his girlfriend!

Guilty as Dick

Mary: Have a little compassion, Sally. We're healthy; we have to help him.
Sally: I say he's lame. Shoot him.

[Tommy is selling chocolate door-to-door and he encounters a priest at one door]
Tommy: Hi, Father, I'm selling chocolate so the high-school band can go to Washington... and learn about Christianity...so they can become priests.
[The priest closes the door in Tommy's face]
Tommy: Fine then; they'll stay here in Rutherford and worship Satan!

A Dick on One Knee

Michael: You see, I would like to stay very much, but your government isn't so nice.
Sally: Except for Abraham Lincoln, right?

Sally: It's what women are supposed to do; get married, have babies, hire total strangers to raise them and then wonder where they went wrong.

Same Old Song and Dick

Sally: You could never handle my job.
Harry: I could do it with my eyes closed!
Tommy: You do everything with your eyes closed.

I Brake for Dick

Tommy: [about August] I don't understand her.
Sally: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.
Harry: Oh, no, you can't do that. You've got to get a new one and then you kill her.

Sally: The Official Boy Scouts' Guidebook. Who're the Boy Scouts?
Harry: They're an elite, prepubescent, paramilitary society and I'm going to follow their ways.
Sally: But Harry, you're neither elite nor prepubescent.
Harry: All in good time, Sally... all in good time.

Dick Behaving Badly

Harry: [while playing Monopoly] Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 and do not, I repeat do not drop the soap.

Dick: I'm tired of feeling like a Catholic schoolboy always getting his knuckles rapped by the nun he's dating.

Dickmalion

Dick: What's going on?
Nina: Oh, she's having a big affair.
Dick: What? You tramp!
Mary: Dick, it's a catered affair.
Dick: You're cheating on me and your diet?

Dick: I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.

Sensitive Dick

Dick: Where would we be without the agitators of the world to attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

Judith: We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict.

Will Work For Dick

Mary: Does this mean you've come to your senses and you're going to apologize to Nina?
Dick: No, I will never come to my senses!

Dick: Harry, did I get any phone calls?
Harry: Oh, yes, it rang repeatedly.
Dick: And... who called?
Harry: Well, I don't know, Dick, I'm not clairvoyant.

Fifteen Minutes of Dick

Tommy: Sally, they want you to appear on Good Afternoon, Rutherford.
Harry: That's my second-favorite show!
Dick: What's your first-favorite?
Harry: Good Morning, Rutherford.

Dick and the Single Girl

Dick: Can we take more than one?
Nina: Take as much as you want! Nobody's going to be at this thing.
Mary: Don't be so insensitive.
Nina: [to Dick] Yeah, shame on you!

A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 1

Sally: Don, what happens to people? Are they born mad or do one day their minds just snap?
Officer Don: If only we knew, Sally. One minute little Johnny Normal is on his paper route and the next there's a pile of dead bank guards and Johnny is using Grandma as a human shield.

A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2

[Dick and Sally are doped out on antidepressants]
Sally: I like TV.
Dick: Me too. Let's say we turn it on. [he turns it on]
Sally: It's even better on.

Season 3

Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 1

Dick: Oh, Mary! I've just had one of those horrible dreams!
Mary: Well what happened?
Dick: We were getting married!
Mary: [sarcastically] Thank you...
Dick: No, that was the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Mary: Oh, don't tell me? They objected?
Dick: Well...they had issues.
Mary: It's alright. I prepared a short speech just in case they did. It's just basically two words... and one of them's "off."

[in his classroom]
Dick: Thank you Leon. You've made it all so clear! I've got to learn to let go, to move forward and focus on the thing that is most important in my life....MEEE!

Fun with Dick and Janet: Part 2

Harry: Look at the bright side, Dick: with Janet out of the way, maybe you'll get another shot at Albright.
Dick: You think?
Harry: Probably no. But hey, at least there's still the three of us.
Dick [slight pause]]: Wait, didn't there used to be four of us?
Harry: Oh, yeah! Officer Don called. "Tommy's in jail."
[Brief pause.]
Dick, Sally, Harry: JAIL? [They panic and run out of the apartment.]
Dick: You idiots!

[Sally and Harry run into the police station.]
Sally: Don! Where's Tommy?
Officer Don: Oh, you're too late.
[Harry screams. Sally grabs Don by the throat.]
Sally: You killed Tommy?!
Officer Don: No, I let him go!
Sally: You let Tommy go to his death?
[Harry screams again. Tommy suddenly appears right behind him.]
Tommy: Hey, Harry.
[Harry turns around and shouts again at the sight of Tommy.]

Tricky Dick

Dick: Women.
Tommy: Women.
Officer Don: Women.
Harry: [high-pitched voice] Women!
Dick: You can't live with 'em and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
Harry: That's probably true.

Dick: Women always act so adult, but just like that they'll sink all the way down to your level.

Dick-In-Law

Dick: I want to make a good impression on Mary's parents.
Sally: Mary Albright‘s parents?
Tommy: They're still alive?:
Sally: My God, they must be so old!

Scaredy Dick

[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Mrs. Dubcek: Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
Harry: NO, I'M NOT! I mean, yes, I am.

[Dick goes to a Halloween party as a pirate]
Partygoer: Ahoy, matey. Where are your buccaneers?
Dick: Under my buckin' hat.

Moby Dick

[Dick is putting on a corset to become thinner]
Sally: What's that?
Dick: It's called the 'Shatner.'

[Sally is talking to her plant]
Sally: You hungry? Oh, I know you--you wouldn't say anything if you were.
[she pours some of her Coke into the pot]
Sally: You're so nice. You're not at all arrogant or demanding like most people I know.
Tommy: You must be bored out of your mind.
Sally: Actually, I'm not.
Tommy: I was talking to the plant.

Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

Dick: Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about something called... 'reasonable doubt.'
Juror #1: What's the point?
Dick: The point is it's reasonable to assume Foster used the money to pay for his daughter's life-threatening operation.
Juror #2: No, it isn't.
Juror #3: He doesn't have a daughter.
Juror #1: It's not reasonable doubt if you just make things up!

[Jury selection]
Prosecuting lawyer: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
Dick: Yes! No! I don't know what I believe anymore! You tell me what to believe and I'll do it!
Prosecuting lawyer: He's fine with me.
Defense lawyer: Me, too.

A Friend in Dick

Dick: I'm not finger-pointing... [points at Mary]...but it's YOUR fault! YOU!

Seven Deadly Clips

Tommy: This ice cream is delicious.
Harry: [looking at the box] Actually, it's ‘sinfully delicious.' I would gladly go to Hell for a pint of this.

Tom, Dick and Mary

Dick: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?
Nina: I don't know, and it's none of my business.
Dick: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!
Nina: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.
Dick: I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

Mary: Most people dismiss non-literate cultures.
Tommy: Well, we live in one.

Jailhouse Dick

Officer Don: Here, sign this.
Eddie: What is it?
Officer Don: Oh, it just absolves us of any wrongdoing in arresting you without reason and without any evidence. It's standard.

Dick: Eddie, you stole my car, but more importantly, you broke my heart. You wanna know what's worse?
Eddie: What?
Dick: That you stole my car.

36! 24! 36! Dick!: Part 2

Tommy: We don't have cell phones; we're from Ohio!

Harry: (to Tommy and Dick) Boys, we're going to San Francisco!
Mascha: San Diego!
Harry: San Diego!

Pickles and Ice Cream

Dick: Nina, here are the keys to my Wrangler. Take it somewhere and have my tires rotated.
Nina: That's not in my job description.
Dick: What is in your job description?
Nina: Typing.
Dick: Okay, well, type it into your job description and have it done by lunch.

Mary: I think it's unfair that you demand Sally do whatever you want as if you were... king of the universe!
Dick: Oh, please! We look nothing alike.

Auto Erodicka

Sally: Don't listen to him, he's just a kid.
Salesman: Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago. [laughs] Say there, sport, you like girls?
Tommy: Yeah. Sorry.

Portrait of Tommy as an Old Man

[Harry has taken over Tommy's job as Information Officer]
Dick: Harry, write this down. I need you to find a place--
Harry: W-w-wait. [writes] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget writing it down. Just memorize it. I need you to find-—
Harry: W-w-wait. [puts finger to forehead] I...need...you...to...find...
Dick: Harry, forget memorizing it. Just listen to me. I need you to find a place for Mary to sing. Harry?
Harry: Oh, sorry, I was thinking about cake.

Stuck with Dick

Dick: The library’s closed on Saturday?
Mary: Dick, this — is — not — a — good — school!

Nina: Where's Dr. Albright?
Tommy: Well, we're not sure, but we think she's having sex with Dick in an unknown location.
Nina: Oh my God, what is she thinking?
Tommy: What's she thinking? What is he thinking?
Nina: Okay, can we just agree they're both freaks?
Tommy: Yeah!

My Daddy's Little Girl

George Albright: [entering Mary's office] Mary.
Mary: Daddy!
George Albright: Hey there, magpie.
Mary: What a nice surprise.
George Albright: Well, not really... I've left your mother.
Mary: Again?

Eddie: Just a couple of rules: don't curse and don't spill nothing and if you spill something, don't curse.

The Physics of Being Dick

Dick: How about a new strategy? What about "sad cop, slightly effeminate cop?"

Dick: And what makes that cop's gun so cool? PHYSICS! Kinetic energy generates the velocity with which the bullet exits the barrel, while the ballistics coefficient and sectional density determine the damage to its targets! Guns don't kill people, PHYSICS kills people!

Just Your Average Dick

Sally: It says here the average American uses 4.1 pounds of butter a year.
Tommy: Orally?

Sally: I'm part of a community--a community that embraces wholesome, American values. And if you cross us... we will destroy you.

Dick and the Other Guy

Mary: This is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!
Dick: Once again I come in second.

Dick: Dr. Neesam, I find you to be pompous, judgmental and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?
[pause]
Liam: We'll see.

Sally and Don's First Kiss

Mary: So you're going to let this woman control your life?
Dick: No, just the lunch part. [a beat] My favorite part.

The Tooth Harry

Harry: [to Nina] Don't worry, Nina. I won't let anyone else hurt you.
Dentist: Don't forget about your appointment on Friday, Nina.
Harry: Until Friday.

[Harry left twenty dollars under Nina's pillow as payment from the Tooth Fairy for the four wisdom teeth she lost. Just as they're about to have sex, Nina finds the money.]
Nina: What's this?
Harry: Oh, you weren't supposed to find that 'till tomorrow morning.
Nina: You left me twenty bucks?
Harry: Well, yeah, that's the going rate, isn't it?
Nina: Going rate?!
Harry: Yeah, five bucks a pop; that seems pretty reasonable to me.

Eat, Drink, Dick, Mary

Randy: I think you're Harry.
Harry: Well, I think you're hairy!

[Don is telling a story]
Officer Don: And then I said to the robber, "Not your pants, the gun!" [everyone laughs] Yeah... that didn't really happen.

Season 4

Power Mad Dick

[the Solomons have a repairman over]
Dick: Sally, you seenin' Don today?
Sally: Seenin' him? I'm losing my virginity to him!
Repairman: You know, I can come back.

Harry: I'll never forget the time I lost my virginity to ol'... what's-her-name over at... the place. Magic.

Collect Call for Dick

Harry: Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.

"The Columbian": Oh, I got top dollar--I got better than top dollar.
Dick: Well then, by default, wouldn't that become top dollar?

What's Love Got to Do, Got to Do with Dick?

Eric: I'm waiting to get into the K-9 unit.
Sally: Aw, what's the hold up?
Officer Don: Well, our- our dog ran away. But we're putting up fliers.

D3: Judgment Day

Dick: Oh, I miss those days with Mary. Breakfast in bed, lunch in the bed. Changing the sheets... 'cause there's food in the bed.

Indecent Dick

Dick: Harry, are you naked or am I seeing things?
Harry: Actually it's a little of both.

Pitman: We all came into this world naked.
Dick: Well, I didn't.

Dick Solomon of the Indiana Solomons

Harry: Ah, the mail! What would a day on Earth be like without the mail?
Tommy: Probably a lot like Sunday.

Mary: What did your father tell you about the family?
Dick: Not a lot. He, uh... lost his mouth in the war.

Dick and Taxes

Mary: You wanted to see me, Dick?
Dick: Oh, Mary, thank God! I wanted to show you that if you mix up the letters in your last name, it spells "lab right!"
[pause]
Mary: Okay, but wh-what was the emergency that couldn't wait another second that made me... get off the phone with Chancellor?
Dick: Lab right!

[filling out tax forms]
Dick: Line 14, "other gains or losses."
Tommy: I gained two pounds.
Sally: I lost my virginity.

Sally Forth

Officer Don: Sally, I'm a cop. I've got keen instincts. And right now, my instincts are telling me that... I don't know what the hell is going on.

Y2dicK

Tommy: It's like watching Entertainment Tonight in Carnegie-frickin'-Hall!

Alien Hunter

Dick: [while gagged, mumbling on the telephone to Judith] Mmmph!
Judith: [sarcastically, alternating between Dick's mumblings] Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. I'm hot now. Do me. Do me all night. I know it's you, Dick. [hangs up]
Dick: Damn!

Officer Don: The F.B.I. are coming into town tomorrow.
Dick: What for?
Officer Don: That's classified.
Tommy: You have no idea, do you?
[pause]
Officer Don: That's also classified.

Dick vs. Strudwick

Nina: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?
Dick: For the thousandth time, YES!

Dick's Big Giant Headache: Part 1

Dick: Families don't refer to each other by rank. They use more familiar terms like "you" or "bastard" or... "you bastard."

Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease and the killing will commence!

Season 5

Episode I: the Baby Menace

[the aliens are looking for Vicki's hybrid alien baby in the nursery]
Tommy: Which one is it?
Dick: It must be him - it's hideous.
Man: Hey, that's my daughter!
Dick: I'm so sorry; she's hideous.

Dick for Tat

Mary: I am so hungover!
Dick: Oh! Well, Mary, that's just nature's way of telling you what a tramp you are.

The Fifth Solomon

[the Solomons are angry at Dick because he crashed the car]
Dick: Hey, be thankful I wasn't killed!
Sally: Yeah, because then we'd have to hitch a ride to your funeral, BECAUSE YOU WRECKED OUR FREAKIN' CAR!

Dick And Tuck

[Looking at himself and a picture of himself and Harrison Ford]
Dick: Oh my god! I'm hideous!

Sex and the Sally

Harry: Sally, I'm starving. What's for dinner?
Sally: Oh, I made you some hamburgers--they're down at the hamburger place. All you have to do is go there, order them, and pay for them.

Charitable Dick

Dick: We can make little differences; we just can't make global differences.
Harry: Can we blow up the Earth?
Dick: You see, that's a global difference.
Harry: It's so hard to keep track of all this.

The Loud Solomon Family: A Dickumentary

Dick: Why do these people get to have their life stories in the paper? What makes them so special?
Nina: Those are the obituaries.
Dick: Well, I want one about me!
Nina: Hopefully soon.

Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary

Larry: I've never noticed it before, but you look capable of violence.
Dick: [picking up a chair] I'll show you who's capable of violence!

Rutherford Beauty

[Dick is fantasizing about Nina during his class's exam]
Leon: [sees Dick kissing an imaginary person] Dr. Solomon, what are you doing?
Dick: ...I said no talking, Leon. You fail!

[after Mary receives an exercise video as a present from Dick]
Mary: Here's a little "gift-giving" tip: When you give someone a bouquet of flowers, that tells them "Our love goes on forever." When you give somebody an exercise video that tells them "Your ass goes on forever!"

Dick Strikes Out

Dick: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now Senior Security Officer.
Sally: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
Dick: Tommy, you are now Senior Information Officer.
Tommy: It's about time!
[pause]
Harry: What about me?
Dick: Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry: Champagne for everyone!

Mary: [referring to Dick] I wouldn't be caught dead going out with that scab.
Dick: Well, couldn't you put a Band-Aid over it?

Frankie Goes to Rutherford

[Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]
Dick: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?
Nina: Not from your funky bakery. [winks]

The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 1

Vicki Dubcek: [about Harry's new girlfriend Janice] You don't like her as much as me, do you?
Harry: Oh, no! ...I like her more.

Dick: Are you going to kill me?
Big Giant Head: Of course not; you're my designated driver.

The Big Giant Head Returns Again: Part 2

Vicki Dubcek: How dare you use your flesh to trick me!
Harry: Well, that's what it's there for.

[Harry finds out Vicki and Janice know each other]
Harry: You two know each other?
Janice: Yeah, I met Vicky at the mall today.
Harry: Oh, what a small world! You know, I wonder who else I know knows someone I know that I don't know knows that person I know.

Season 6

Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: My daughter just ran off with your ragamuffin son!
Dick: "Ragamuffin"?! Harry, throw him out; Sally, bring me a dictionary.

Indickscretion

Tommy: [about a movie Harry has seen] How was it? I heard there was an awesome shower scene.
Harry: Oh, yeah...but then this naked girl got in and you could barely see the shower.

Dick Digs

Tourist: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
Harry: I believe that all hotels have rooms.

The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part 2

Mary: [concerned] I think there's something wrong with Dick.
[Nina and Judith stare blankly at her]

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