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<!-- End of AfD message, feel free to edit beyond this point -->709 Brown is a famed suite located within the Brown Residence Hall of the Sylvan Living Area, at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. This living area, once known as a haven for outcasts and people with mental handicap housing exemptions, has become a hub of social activity at UMASS as a direct result of the members of this suite.

709 Brown

History

The Inception of 709

709, as a suite in Brown, is a rather nondescript suite. It is composed to two single rooms, two double occupancies, a common living area, and a bathroom. However, it is odd in that it is the smallest suite, in terms of square footage, in all of Sylvan. This is because of Brown Dormitory's "backwards" construction and it's proximity to the roof. The suite's disgusting, slime covered and smelly rug is a testament to the backward and ineffective maintenance measures taken by the University over the course of the 20 years Sylvan has been in existence.

709 Brown offers a prime view of the east end of campus. It overlooks the field hockey and baseball field, and further out various of the Berkshire Mountains. It is a prime viewing spot for sunsets throughout the entire year, as none of the trees located on the hill that frames Sylvan block any of the windows located in 709.

Suite 709 is one of several locations marked as a stop-over in the UMASS Ghost Tour. It is purportedly inhabited by a ghost named "Chalmers". He is rumored to cause drastic temperature fluctuation, open and close the bathroom door, and flicker the bathroom lights at 5 am every Thursday morning.

These purely physical descriptions of 709 may cause skeptics to question this articles' legitimacy. However, the suite serves as a physical manifestation of the possibility of collective change. Its members and social events have been the subject of numerous cartoon strips in the Daily Collegian over the course of the last 5 years.

The emergence of the social group known as 709 began in the fall of 2001. Once a nondescript suite in an average dormitory in the least popular of living areas at UMASS - Amherst, 709 has seen revolutionary change in the last six years.

The addition was a cast of characters who, through a slow, deliberate, and thought-out process have brought political change to the student government and a significant change in the character of the living area.

The Sylvan Living Area's Population largely consists of people who chose to live in another area of campus and who were denied this opportunity as a result of University Protocol and Housing Limitations. 709's population on a yearly basis follows similar trends, though its' members are increasingly willing to move into the suite as its' notoriety has grown.

The 709 Comics

I am currently in the process of getting access to the paper morge for the Umass Daily Collegian in order to get copies of comic strip based upon the people and events of 709.

Social Events

= The Pool Party =

On September 17th, 2005, 709 decided to host a tropical pool party in the common room of the suite. Tarps were first layed down covering the extent of the room, and then a large inflatable pool was set up. In order to fill the pool with water, a garden hose was run from a faucet in the bathroom to the pool in the common room. The party was dispersed around midnight by several RA's who also ordered the removal of the tarps and the pool from the common room. Before leaving, the RA's called maintenance to come look at possible damage to the suite. Around 3 AM, maintenence personel arrived to estimate any damage done. Upon seeing the water soaked entryway, the maintainer said, "It'll dry" and left. On Septemeber 29th, the letter one can see to the left was recieved by two suitemates of 709. The letter, along with giving a detailed description of the party and various charges, stated that the two suitemates would be put on "interim suspension". A term meaning they would be removed from campus and have all the credits from that semester voided. The two suitemates are in the process of fighting these charges.

Famous Deeds

= The Great Skyscraper Climb 2001 =

= Snowball Fight 2004 =

Snowball Fight 2004 is known and remembered by many students, present and former, who attended UMASS Amherst and lived in the Sylvan and Northeast Living Areas.

On the evening of December 16th, 2004, a spontaneous event of riotous proporitons erupted in the common area of the three Sylvan buildings. Urged by a speech given by various members of suite 709 Brown, several hundred revelers and would be rioters congregated and began what would be known as the largest on-campus snowball fight in the history of the University.

Led by a trio of 709ers, the mob attacked smokers outside various dormitories in Sylvan. They pelted innocent bystanders, the sides of buildings, and cars. The mob then proceeded down North Pleasant Street in Amherst, with many members of the group sliding down the unplowed street. Their destination was the Northeast Living Area.

This impromptu army assaulted an ongoing snow football game with such ferocity and violence that every member of the Northeast Tag Football Team retreated to their dorms, at which point the mob slowly dispersed.

The reasons for the event's demise is largely blamed on the permanent damage inflicted on one of the leaders. A hand, broken in two places, with a ruptured tendon, caused this man to retreat to Health Services with another 709er, and this loss of centralized leadership ultimately dispersed the mob.

= Sylvan Concert 2004 =

Members of 709 Brown were eventually elected as representative leaders in the Area Government of Sylvan. These members included Ryan "8ball" Murray and Matthew "Handles" Handler, as Secretary and Lieutenant Governor respectively. The Governor, Matthew "Uncle" Ruggiero, was a close friend of the suite in question and thus was considered, for all intents and purposes, to be a live-in member of the suite.

These gentlemen made it their ultimate goal to organize, manage, and direct the largest end-of-school event the living area in question had ever seen. Over the course of 8 months they organized a 7-band concert, including groups from as far away as Hartford, CT. The musical ensembles ranged from free-form improvisational jazz to the hip-hop of underground legend Brownsound.

The concert drew a large number of residents, with an approximation of 1500 people over the course of the 10 hour day. Food was served in abundance, various carnival events such as bouncy houses were strategically placed along the trod, and a good time was had by all.

= Walk for Life Cancer Fundraiser 2004 =