Adam Gadnis is a great American patriot, educator, philosopher, thinker, Pastafarian, fruit bat enthusiast, and all-around quality guy. He is beloved by the entire student population of Henry B. Plant High School, and those who do not love him therefore do not exist, as explained in the Gadnis paradox of existence, which is further elaborated on in this article.

Pre-Plant High life

Very little is known about Mr. Gadnis's life before becoming Plant High's greatest teacher. What is known is that he was in the Navy and went to Dubai, and that he considered it lovely, highly encouraging his students to go there on holiday if ever given the opportunity. The cynisicm in this sentiment is recognized and cherished by all.

Current life

Mr. Gadnis is the current World History AP teacher at Plant High School. AP means his job is harder than most World History teachers, but Gadnis readily tackles the task, shaping the young minds he is given with panache and subtle sarcasm. His teaching style is admired and appreciated by students and faculty alike.

Philosophy club

After school, Mr. Gadnis sponsors the Plant High philosophy club, which sometimes is mentioned as "The Plant High Snakes on a Plane Club" or "The Richard Simmons Fan Club", both of which are just clever ruses meant to divert those without the necessary mental capacity to take a whole mind-blowing philosophical tour de force from the Gadnis, therefore devolutionizing them back into a mental level of that of the hunter-gatherer societies from which agriculture spawned, doomed to roam the earth for centuries eating twigs and killing gazelles. It's for their own good.

"Quality" usage

Mr. Gadnis uses the word "quality" on a daily basis. Often an hourly basis! Why, you could even say it's his favourite adjective! He often greets his students upon entering class with a hearty "Hope you're having a quality *enter current day of week*", in most cases the inverse is true, and the aforementioned students are consequently not having a "quality" day. However, the lesson Mr. Gadnis provides soon remedies that quite tidily. Gadnis is also prone to marking papers and assignments he feels to be of particular merit with a "quality", therefore elevating the student's worth to society.

The Gadnis Scale

Although quite fond of "quality", Gadnis has been known to write "w00t" on students' papers on occasion, giving way to what is known as "The Gadnis Scale", which ranks anything and everything in a completely Gadnis mindframe.


The Gadnis Scale:

Quality

w00t

Good

Un-Quality


Un-Quality is a rank dreaded by all, even pirates!

Gadnis-approved!

Gadnis likes many things. These include-

1. Wikipedia

2. independent thought

3. Pastafarianism

4. fruit bats

5. quality days

6. tea

7. Straight-up philosophizing

8. Dubai

9. World History

10. expanding his mind

11. quoting particularly clever people

12. educating

13. underwater basket-weaving

14. Inner-outer circles

15. class discussions

16. Microsoft PowerPoint

17. World of Warcraft

Gadnis not-approved!

Gadnis also dislikes many things. These include-

1. closed minds

2. sugar

3. not-quality days

4. straight-up not-philosophizing

5. power outages

6. the phone

Dislike of television

Mr. Gadnis despises television with a burning, fiery passion, except for the Hitler channel, which he watches for the occasional documentary on Hitler or maybe even Hitler and something else relating to Hitler. He specifically does not like American Idol, Laguna Beach, the OC, or Lost, and shows a certain degree of contempt for Mariah Carey.

Associates

Mr. Gadnis has several associates, or "BFFs" (best friends forever), if you will. These include-

1. Mr. Coleman, fellow educator and anime enthusiast

2. Mr. James, sponsor of the GSA and independent thinker

3. Jared Diamond, writer of the critically acclaimed book Guns, Germs, and Steel

4. God

Aliases

1. Mr. Gadnis

2. Adam "The Madness" Gadnis

3. Adam "The Sadness" Gadnis (this is if he is having a bad day)

The Gadnis Paradox of Existence

Every student at Plant High loves Mr. Gadnis. One would argue that it is impossible for one person to obtain the approval of 100% of those one has come in contact with, but such is the case with Gadnis. But how can this be?

It is a paradox- one cannot exist unless they consider Mr. Gadnis to be a quality guy, so obviously one does not exist if one does not consider Mr. Gadnis to be a quality guy. So how do those who do not consider Mr. Gadnis to be a quality guy exist? They don't! But they have to because it is physically impossible to have 100% of people one has come in contact with love them, so do those who don't love them just don't exist? But they do! But how?

This is likely to be the next topic of discussion at the next Plant High philosophy club meeting, in which the minds of all who participate shall be metaphorically blown away by the sheer magnitude of fact.

Skillz

Mr. Gadnis has mad teaching skillz. As such, he has merited his own feature article in an upcoming issue of the school newspaper, one that has been highly anticipated by those who know of it.

ATTENTION PLANT HIGH STUDENTS: Mr. Gadnis is getting his own article in the Pep O' Plant!

Now you know, and should therefore highly anticipate it.

Obsession with Wikipedia

Mr. Gadnis loves Wikipedia. Whenever a student presents a question he cannot answer (a rare occurence), he immediately refers them to Wikipedia. Oftentimes, he displays links to Wikipedia pages on the overhead projector in his classroom, and even assigns homework based off of Wikipedia pages. Mr. Gadnis loves Wikipedia. Wikipedia, however, does not love Gadnis, seeing as they have deleted multiple articles pertaining to him in a timely and orderly fashion. Everyone else, however, loves Gadnis to the fullest extent. Yaaaaaaay!