Alex Barczak, born October 11th 1988 in Springfield, Illinois, is currently living in Ridgefield, Connecticut. His plethora of nicknames include:
'Barczak', 'Balzak', 'Ballsack', 'B-Zack', 'The Train', and 'The Hammer'. Some people believe that he is the next messiah, but he is quoted saying that, "I firmly believe that I will end up serving in the United States Marine Corps, and will kill some A-Rab hooker mother fuckers".
He also has a furry nether-region. At one point in his life, it was said that he in face was the owner of seven homosexual sex slaves. The question of What he did with them, however, has yet to be mused upon.