Alexander (Alex) Manuel Santos Smolenski (born July 8th, 1986) is an American student, amateur baseball player, Guitar Hero, sommelier, raconteur, and hip-hop mogul. Alex was born to Walter A. and Evelyn C. (nee Coelho) Smolenski, as the second of two male childen (Walter '83).

Early Life ==

Right

Alex was born into a Polish-American and Portuguese-American family in Edison, New Jersey in 1986 A.D., in the year of the Tiger in the Chinese calendar. He was 7 pounds and 8 ounces (3.4 kg) at birth, delivered via Ceasarean section at John F. Kennedy Medical Center in Edison, New Jersey. He was baptized into the Roman Catholic church on September 8th at St. John Vianney's Church in Colonia, New Jersey. His early life in suburban New Jersey was rather typical, as he excelled in a plethora of sports and cultivated his uncanny knowledge of international flags and geography. He attended St. Helena's Roman Catholic School from grades Kindergarten to 8th. While at St. Helena's, Alex was less than proficient at basketball but managed to play from grades 4-8 while averaging a meager 2.8 points per game in his career. His signature trademark were his constantly untucked jersey and utilization of Rec Spec eye protection goggles, which made him look like an idiot. He somewhat consistently donned a 1990s era "bowl" haircut, characterized by its lateral part and side hanging hairs. Many would agree that it was over the years at St. Helena's that he developed his affection with the female species as he could be regularly be found congregating at the Menlo Park Mall on weekend nights and half-days in search of a potential girlfriend. His efforts were overwhelmingly fruitless during these years, much to his dismay.

During his elementary and middle school years, Alex developed his strong passion for the European football (soccer) and the American sport of baseball. He was active in both Edison Township Soccer Association and the North Edison Baseball/Softball Little League from ages 5 until ages 13 and 14, respectively. Alex especially excelled at the sport of baseball and was a frequent member of the North Edison Boys Traveling All-Star teams from ages 10-13 where he cemented his legacy as one of the finest utility infielders and bunt specialists the town has ever produced. He enjoyed modest local soccer fame as a proficient goal scorer and enforcer as a member of the St. Helena's-based Hurricanes soccer club. He continued his baseball and soccer careers at Bishop George Ahr High School in Edison, New Jersey during his adolescent years.


== Adolescent Years

Alex attended Bishop George Ahr High School, a Roman-Catholic secondary education institution in his hometown of Edison, New Jersey from the fall of 2000 until his graduation in 2004. He compiled a Grade-Point Average of 3.05 and fostered his life-long passion for Social Studies and Physical Education. He was consistently a lottery draft choice in many Physical Education competitions, i.e. Scatterball, Volleyball, German Kickball, and Softball, utiizing the innate physical abilities he fostered playing backyard sports in the Livingston Acres neighborhood of North Edison. He was locally known for his perfect record in the 2004 3rd period Physical Education class where he amassed a perfect volleyball record with the help of several classmates and pure grit and determination. Alex lettered in baseball and soccer and was appointed captain of his Senior year baseball and soccer squads. He enjoyed modest success in both endeavors and guided the 2004 baseball team to a Blue Division championship, hardly an insubstantial task. Throughout his 2 year varsity soccer career, his teams amassed a total of 5 wins, despite his fervent leadership and ultra-fashionable headband.

Aside from the vast and impressive sporting legacy he left at Bishop Ahr, Alex enjoyed modest popularity at this institution, frequently maxing out his AOL Instant Messenger BuddyList maximum of 200. Many would attribute this popularity to the sheer amazement of the students regarding the eventual Four Years Perfect Attendance he would earn as a student at BGA. In a 2004 interview in which he was asked what he attributes as the main motivators for his Campaign For Perfection Smolenski explains, "I have to give all the thanks to my over-achieving immune system, as well as my ever-present quest for knowledge." He was granted the prestigious Bishop Ahr Four Years Perfect Attendance Award, which is proudly displayed to the public in the lavatory at his Edison home.

The College Years: Working for the Man

, an original pioneer of the popular KRAKD LP organization, is a Junior student at Ramapo College of New Jersey where he studies History with a concentration in American history. He currently lives in the Buckeye Apartments in the College Park Apartment section of the Ramapo campus. He is a member of Team 7 in the Ramapo College Intramural Bowling League where he maintains a hefty average of 180. Throughout his tenure at Ramapo College, Alex has been typically known to partake in skilled juggling sessions. Juggling is an activity where he and his comrades participate in a common effort to keep a soccer ball from hitting the ground, without the use of their arms or hands. He enjoys listening to many types of music, specifically classic rock and Norwegian death metal, and wasting large amounts of time creating encyclopedia entries about himself. He has amassed a Grade Point Average of 3.005 while at Ramapo College. He continues to refine his baseball abilities as a member of the South Plainfield White SoxBaseball team under the guidance and tutelage of his older brother, Walter, as they continue their quest for Raritan Valley Adult Baseball Association dominance. This marks the second time in which the Smolenski brothers have shared a baseball diamond, drawing comparisons to the Ripken and DiMaggio brothers.

Since January 2006, Smolenski has been employed at Primo Pizzeria, Inc on Oak Tree Road in Edison, New Jersey, where he maintains his position as Home Delivery Specialist. He is a highly regarded delivery specialist, well-known for his celerity and efficiency while performing home deliveries.

Post-Collegiate Years

Upon graduation from Ramapo College in 2008 with a degree in History and hopefully Education, Smolenski hopes to become a high school Social Studies teacher. Along with educating the masses with his drastic history tactics, he plans to engineer a baseball dynasty of epic proportions as the coach of top-notch high school baseball program.

Interests

Along with sports, history, trivia, international flags, and music, Smolenski also enjoys the following activities in no particular order: Recycling, proof-reading, solar technology,. Long-division, Velcro, the Dewey Decimal System, carbon-copying, Medieval weaponry, mouse traps, Polynesian architecture, rip-away Adidas pants, wine-tasting, sperlunking, volunteering, water desalination, polyester, the smell of lavender, rechargeable batteries, universal remotes.