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Alistair David Melvill (pronounced Mel-vil) (February 23rd 1982 - Present) is a Classics Expert, Philosopher, Sociologist, Educator, Historian, Writer, Editor, Poet, Scholar, Inventor, Actor, Semi-Professional Sportsman, General Hardman, and Member of Parliament.


Early Life and Education

<br />Melvill was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, before moving to England in 1985. Melvill's appreciation of Classics started at an early age, at his primary school Haileybury, England. During his time at Haileybury, Melvill learnt huge sections of both the Iliad and the Odyssey off by heart, as well as beginning his "lucid and charming" translation of Ovid's Metamorphoses.

He studied Latin, Geography and French at A Level and decided upon Durham to further his education, taking a degree in Classics.

He is an alumnus of Durham University and of Cambridge University where his Classical skills were refined and moulded into the fine specimen he is today.


King Edward's School Edgbaston (2005 - Present)

In 2005 Melvill moved to Birmingham, England, where he began teaching Classics to pupils at King Edward's School Edgbaston. Melvill was promoted to Head of Classics November 29th 2005 where he reformed the Classical Department. He based his classes on the Ancient Tribes of Athens, as well as establishing a Council of 50, 10 pupils from 5 classes. During this time, he also made an attack on the Common Room, bringing several members under trial for missuse of the position. He made King Edward's a utopia, regaining it's former glory and ensuring the future prosperity of the institiution, securing his reforms against change for years to come.

Melvill completed his translation of Metamorphoses 13th June 2006, and it was hailed as a success amongst those in the Classical World:<br />
"Melvill has transformed Ovid's masterpiece into a modern day Classic...A true hero to the Classical World...Melvill clearly appreciates the seductive charms of Ovid...Excellent!" Melvill has also dedicated many articles to the online essay service; JSTOR.
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Alistair's most impresive class to date has been the magnificantly talented Classical Civilization class of 2007, compromising of Hugo "genius and he knows it" Holmes, G "Plunder" Hancock, Liam "Pertwee" O'Brien, Ben "Gaius" Howell, Kieran "Preppikimone" Iyer and new kid on the block, fresh meat if you will, Caleb "ding-a-ling-a-ling" Wooding.
<br />This inspiring rable have pushed ADM to new heights by setting up an Appreciation Society noting such splenders as: His Quiff, his general appearance and his boyish eagerness. Throughout the year the relationship has grown into one of mutual fondness, after a brief cold period in the beggining where both parties assessd the situation, the pupil-teacher bond has grown increasingly lax with Melvill even being christened certain names of affection.



Alistair Melvill goes by many colloquial names, attributed to him lovingly by his Latin/Classical Civilisation A Level class:

D-Party (Partee)
Ally D (a favourite of G Hancock)

The use of these titles enabled the band of epic classicists to tap into the personal side of Melvill, adding a less-formal aspect to their lessons, whilst still maintaining utmost respect for the man, and further nurturing the enjoyment of the Classical Texts.


Personal Life

Of late, Alistair Melvill spends much of his time with his lady-friend of 4 years. He enjoys fine dining, going to the cinema and of course, the works of Statius, Ovid and Virgil in particular, with a soft-spot also for Homer and some Catullus.

He lists Lawrence of Arabia as one his favourite films, and is partial to the popular English post-punk band Joy Division.

He is a fervent sportsman, having played U19 County Cricket for Hertfordshire, U16 football for Arsenal and captaining the Durham Universtiy football team.

Melvill has had a long list of female conquests, most notable was his ex-wife Ava Devine, the player.


Famous Quotes

"Urus-Futurus"<br />
"There is no such thing as a historical fact"<br />
"I don't want to be an afro-carribbean frat boy"<br />
"BANG!"<br />
"Where's the coffee - BANG!"<br />


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