Alistair David Melvill (
pronounced Mel-vil)
(
February 23rd
1982 - Present) is a
Classics Expert,
Philosopher,
Sociologist,
Educator,
Historian,
Writer,
Editor,
Poet,
Scholar,
Inventor,
Actor,
Semi-Professional
Sportsman,
General Hardman, and
Member of
Parliament.
----
Early Life and Education
<br />Melvill was born in
Johannesburg,
South Africa, before moving to
England in
1985.
Melvill's appreciation of
Classics started at an early age, at his
primary school
Haileybury,
England. During his time at
Haileybury,
Melvill learnt huge sections of both
the
Iliad and the
Odyssey off by heart, as
well as beginning his "lucid and charming"
translation of
Ovid's
Metamorphoses.
He studied Latin, Geography
and French at A Level and decided upon Durham to further his
education, taking a degree in
Classics.
He is an alumnus of
Durham University
and of
Cambridge University where his
Classical skills were refined and moulded into the fine specimen he
is today.
----
King Edward's School Edgbaston (2005 -
Present)
In
2005
Melvill moved to
Birmingham,
England, where he began
teaching
Classics to
pupils at
King Edward's School Edgbaston.
Melvill was promoted to Head of
Classics November 29th 2005 where he reformed the Classical Department. He
based his classes on the Ancient
Tribes of
Athens, as well as establishing a
Council of 50, 10 pupils
from 5 classes. During this time, he also made an attack on the
Common Room, bringing several members under trial for missuse of
the position. He made King Edward's a utopia, regaining it's former
glory and ensuring the future prosperity of the institiution,
securing his reforms against change for years to
come.
Melvill
completed his translation of
Metamorphoses 13th June 2006, and it was hailed as a success amongst those in
the
Classical World:<br />
"
Melvill has transformed
Ovid's masterpiece into a modern day
Classic...A true hero to the Classical World...
Melvill clearly appreciates the
seductive charms of
Ovid...Excellent!"
Melvill has also dedicated many articles to the
online essay service;
JSTOR.
Bright
portrait.jpg----
Pupils
Alistair's most
impresive class to date has been the magnificantly talented
Classical Civilization class of 2007,
compromising of Hugo "genius and he knows it" Holmes, G "Plunder"
Hancock, Liam "
Pertwee"
O'Brien, Ben "Gaius" Howell, Kieran "Preppikimone" Iyer and new kid
on the block, fresh meat if you will, Caleb "ding-a-ling-a-ling"
Wooding.
<br />This inspiring rable have pushed ADM to new
heights by setting up an Appreciation Society noting such splenders
as: His
Quiff, his general
appearance and his boyish eagerness. Throughout the year the
relationship has grown into one of mutual fondness, after a brief
cold period in the beggining where both parties assessd the
situation, the pupil-teacher bond has grown increasingly lax with
Melvill even being christened certain names of
affection.
----
Alter-Egos
Alistair Melvill goes
by many colloquial names, attributed to him lovingly by his
Latin/Classical Civilisation A Level class:
D-Man
D-Party
(Partee)
D-Shock
D-Boogie
D-Moneymaker
Ally D (a favourite
of G Hancock)
The use of these titles enabled the band of
epic classicists to tap into the personal side of
Melvill, adding a less-formal aspect
to their lessons, whilst still maintaining utmost respect for the
man, and further nurturing the enjoyment of the
Classical
Texts.
----
Personal Life
Of late,
Alistair
Melvill spends much of his time with his lady-friend of 4
years. He enjoys fine dining, going to the cinema and of course,
the works of
Statius,
Ovid and
Virgil in particular, with a soft-spot also for
Homer and some
Catullus.
He lists
Lawrence of
Arabia as one his favourite films, and is partial to the
popular English
post-punk band
Joy Division.
He is a fervent sportsman,
having played U19
County Cricket for
Hertfordshire, U16
football for
Arsenal and
captaining the
Durham Universtiy football
team.
Melvill has had a long list of female conquests, most
notable was his ex-wife
Ava Devine, the player.
----
Famous
Quotes
"Urus-Futurus"<br />
"There is no such thing as
a historical fact"<br />
"I don't want to be an
afro-carribbean frat boy"<br />
"BANG!"<br
/>
"Where's the coffee - BANG!"<br />
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