Ally McBeal: Wikis


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Ally McBeal
Ally McBeal S1 Opening.jpg
Original title card
Genre Comedy-drama
Created by David E. Kelley
Starring Calista Flockhart
Gil Bellows
Courtney Thorne Smith
Greg Germann
Lisa Nicole Carson
Jane Krakowski
Vonda Shepard
Portia de Rossi
Lucy Liu
Regina Hall
James LeGros
Julianne Nicholson
Peter MacNicol
Theme music composer Vonda Shepard
Opening theme "Searchin' My Soul" performed by Vonda Shepard
Composer(s) Danny Lux
Vonda Shepard
Country of origin United States
Language(s) English.
No. of seasons 5
No. of episodes 112 (List of episodes)
Executive producer(s) David E. Kelley
Bill D'Elia
Producer(s) Kayla Alpert
Kim Hamberg
Mike Listo
Jack Philbrick
Steve Robin
Pamela J. Wisne
Cinematography Thomas F. Denove
Billy Dickson
David A. Harp
Tim Suhrstedt
Camera setup Single-camera
Running time 45–48 minutes
Production company(s) 20th Century Fox Television
David E. Kelley Productions
Original channel Fox
Picture format 4:3 (broadcast)
16:9 (seasons 2-5)
Original run September 28, 1997 (1997-09-28) – May 20, 2002 (2002-05-20)
Status Ended

Ally McBeal is an American comedy-drama series which aired on the Fox network from 1997 to 2002. The series was created by David E. Kelley, who also served as the executive producer, along with Bill D'Elia. The series stars Calista Flockhart in the title role as a young lawyer working in the fictional Boston law firm Cage, Fish and Associates with other young lawyers whose lives and loves were eccentric, humorous and dramatic.



The show focused on the romantic and personal lives of the main characters, often using legal proceedings as plot devices to contrast or reinforce a character's drama. For example, bitter divorce litigation of a client might provide a backdrop for Ally's decision to break up with a boyfriend. Opposing legal arguments were also frequently used to explore multiple sides of various social issues.

Cage & Fish (which becomes Cage/Fish & McBeal or Cage, Fish, & Associates towards the end of the series), the fictional law firm where most of the characters work, is depicted as a highly sexualized environment, symbolized by its unisex public restroom. Lawyers and secretaries in the firm routinely date, flirt with, or have a romantic history with each other, and frequently run into former or potential romantic interests in the courtroom or on the street outside.

The show had many offbeat and frequently surreal running gags and themes, such as Ally's tendency to immediately fall over whenever she met somebody she found attractive, or Richard Fish's wattle fetish and humorous mottos ("Fishisms"), ran through the series. The show used vivid, dramatic fantasy sequences for Ally's and other characters' wishful thinking; particularly notable is the dancing baby.

The show also featured regular visits to a local bar where singer Vonda Shepard regularly performed (though occasionally handing over the microphone to the characters). The series also took place in the same continuity as David E. Kelley's legal drama The Practice (which aired on ABC), as the two shows crossed over with one another on occasion, a very rare occurrence for two shows which aired on different networks.

Episode list

Main cast


The show's ratings began to decline in the third season, but stabilized in the fourth season after Robert Downey, Jr. joined the regular cast as Ally's boyfriend Larry Paul. However, Downey was written out after the end of the season due to his troubles with drug addiction.

The show was canceled after a significant ratings drop during its fifth season, which saw many regular characters disappear from the series without explanation (also a problem with David E. Kelley's shows Boston Public, Chicago Hope, and The Practice), and the novelty of the show wore off.

US ratings

Season U.S. ratings Network Rank
1 1997–1998 11.4 million Fox #59[1]
2 1998–1999 13.8 million Fox #20 [2]
3 1999–2000 12.4 million Fox #35[3]
4 2000–2001 12.0 million Fox #40[4]
5 2001–2002 9.4 million Fox #65[5]


Despite its success, Ally McBeal did receive some negative criticism from TV critics and feminists who found the title character annoying and demeaning to women, and specifically professional women,[6] because of her perceived flightiness, lack of demonstrated legal knowledge, short skirts,[7] and extreme emotional instability. Perhaps the most notorious example of the debate sparked by the show was the June 25, 1998 cover story of Time magazine, which juxtaposed McBeal with three pioneering feminists (Susan B. Anthony, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem) and asked "Is Feminism Dead?".[8] In episode 12 of the second season of the show, Ally talks to her co-worker John Cage about a dream she had, saying "You know, I had a dream that they put my face on the cover of Time magazine as 'the face of feminism'."[9]


Ally McBeal was a heavily music-oriented show. Vonda Shepard, a virtually unknown artist at the time, was featured continually on the show. Her song "Searchin' My Soul" became the show's theme song. Many of the songs Vonda recorded for the show were covers of old songs with lyrics that paralleled what was happening in the title character's life onscreen. Old songs recorded for the show include "Both Sides Now", "Hooked on a Feeling", and "Tell Him". Besides recording background music for the show, Vonda would also appear in the show (usually near the end of the episode). Vonda would be seen playing at the local bar in which Ally and her fellow workmates regularly visited after work and would even have dialogue in some episodes. Due to the popularity of the show and Vonda's music, a soundtrack titled Songs from Ally McBeal was released in 1998, as well as a successor soundtrack titled Heart and Soul: New Songs From Ally McBeal in 1999. Two compilation albums from the show featuring Vonda were also released in 2000 and 2001. Other artists featured on the show include Barry White, Al Green, and Tina Turner. Josh Groban played the role of Malcolm Wyatt in the May 2001 season finale, performing "You're Still You." The series creator, David E. Kelley, was impressed with Groban's performance at The Family Celebration event, and based on the audience reaction to Groban's singing, Kelley created a character for Groban in this finale. The background score for the show was composed by Danny Lux.

Soundtrack Name Tk# Release Date
Songs from Ally McBeal 14 May 5, 1998
Heart and Soul: New Songs from Ally McBeal 14 November 9, 1999
Ally McBeal: A Very Ally Christmas 14 November 7, 2000
Ally McBeal: For Once in My Life 14 April 24, 2001
The Best of Ally McBeal 12 October 6, 2009

DVD releases

Due to music licensing issues, none of the seasons of Ally McBeal were available on DVD in the United States (only 6 random episodes can be found on the R1 edition) until 2009, though it has been available in Italy, Belgium, the Netherlands, Japan, Hong Kong, Spain, France, Germany, the UK, Mexico, Taiwan, Australia, Brazil and the Czech Republic with all the show's music intact since 2005. In the UK and Ireland all seasons are available in a complete boxset.

The Complete Series Region 1 (Seasons 1 – 5).

It has recently been announced that the first season will be released in North America by 20th Century Fox in October 6, 2009. Also, a special complete series edition will also be released on the same day as the first season set.[10] On July 3, 2009 announced that both sets would be released on October 6, 2009.[11] There will be no special features included on the first season set however, the second last disc on the complete series set will be composed of special features (including the episode of The Practice that Calista Flockhart guest starred in) with the last disc titled "The Best of Ally McBeal Soundtrack". It has been confirmed that all of the original music will remain intact on both releases.[12] Season 2 will be released on April 6, 2010.[13]

DVD Name Ep# Region 1 Region 2
The Complete First Season 23 October 6, 2009 February 21, 2005
The Complete Second Season 23 April 6, 2010 February 21, 2005
The Complete Third Season 21 TBA February 21, 2005
The Complete Fourth Season 23 TBA May 9, 2005
The Complete Fifth Season 22 TBA May 9, 2005
The Complete Series 112 October 6, 2009 October 30, 2006

Ally the sitcom

In 1999, at the height of the show's popularity, a half-hour version entitled Ally [14] began airing in parallel to the main program. This version, designed in a sitcom format, used re-edited scenes from the main program, as well as previously unseen footage. The intention was to further develop the plots in the comedy-drama in a sitcom style. It also focused only on Ally's personal life, cutting all the courtroom plots. The repackaged show did not catch on and was canceled partway through its initial run. While 13 episodes of Ally were shot, only 10 of those thirteen were actually broadcast.


Country TV network
Arab League Arab World MBC4
Argentina Argentina Fox
Australia Australia Seven Network, FX (Now W. Channel) and 111 Hits
Austria Austria ORF1
Belarus Belarus Belsat
Belgium Belgium Kanaal Twee, Plug tv (French), La Deux (French)
Brazil Brazil Fox Life (cable)
Bulgaria Bulgaria BTV and Fox Life
Canada Canada CTV (English), ARTV (French), TVA (French)
Chile Chile Canal 13 , Fox Life (cable)
Colombia Colombia RCN, Citytv Bogotá, Fox Life (cable)
Croatia Croatia Nova TV, HRT
Czech Republic Czech Republic Česká televize
Denmark Denmark TV2
Estonia Estonia TV3
Finland Finland MTV3
France France Téva, M6, Série Club
Germany Germany VOX, Comedy Central
Guatemala Guatemala Fox Life
Hong Kong Hong Kong aTV world
Hungary Hungary Viasat 3
India India STAR World, Zee Cafe
Indonesia Indonesia RCTI
Republic of Ireland Ireland originally screened on RTE Two repeats air on TV3
Israel Israel Channel 2, Channel 3
Italy Italy Canale 5, Italia 1, Fox Life, Mya, Iris
Japan Japan NHK
Kenya Kenya Kenya Television Network
Latvia Latvia LNT
Lebanon Lebanon LBCI
Lithuania Lithuania TV3
Malaysia Malaysia NTV7
Mexico Mexico Canal 5, Fox & repeats air on Fox Life
Morocco Morocco 2M
Netherlands Netherlands RTL 8
New Zealand New Zealand TV2
Norway Norway TV 2
Pakistan Pakistan STAR World
Philippines Philippines RPN-9 (1998–2001), 2nd Avenue (2009)
Poland Poland Polsat, TV4, Fox Life
Portugal Portugal TVI, Fox Life
Romania Romania PRO TV, Pro Cinema
Russia Russia Ren-TV
Serbia Serbia RTS, RTV BK Telecom, Fox Life (cable)
Slovenia Slovenia POP TV, Kanal A, TV Pika
Singapore Singapore MediaCorp TV Channel 5
South Africa South Africa SABC 3
South Korea South Korea Home CGV
Spain Spain Telecinco (former broadcaster), Cuatro, Fox
Sweden Sweden TV4
Switzerland Switzerland TSR1 (French area), SF zwei (German area), TSI1 (Italian area)
Republic of China Taiwan Eracom
Thailand Thailand True Series
Turkey Turkey CNBC-E and Fox Life
United Kingdom United Kingdom Channel 4, Paramount Comedy 1, Paramount Comedy 2, TMF, Zone Romantica
United States United States FX
Venezuela Venezuela Televen

Awards and nominations

Awards won

Emmy Awards:

  • Outstanding Comedy Series (1999)
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series Tracey Ullman (1999)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Peter MacNicol (2001)

Golden Globe Awards:

  • Best TV Series-Comedy/Musical (1998–1999)
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series-Comedy/Musical Calista Flockhart (1998)
  • Best Supporting Actor in a TV Series Robert Downey Jr. (2001)

Screen Actors Guild:

  • Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series (1999)
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series Robert Downey Jr. (2001)

Peabody Award

  • Peabody Award (1999)

Awards nominated

Emmy Awards:

  • Outstanding Comedy Series (1998)
  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series Calista Flockhart (1998–1999, 2001)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Peter MacNicol (1999–2000)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Lucy Liu (1999)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Robert Downey Jr. (2001)
  • Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series John Ritter (1999)
  • Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series Bernadette Peters (2001)
  • Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series Jami Gertz (2001)

Golden Globe Awards:

  • Best TV Series-Comedy/Musical (2000–2002)
  • Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series-Comedy/Musical Calista Flockhart (1999–2002)
  • Best Supporting Actress in a TV Series Jane Krakowski (1999)

Screen Actors Guild:

  • Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series (1998, 2000–2001)
  • Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series Calista Flockhart (1998–2001)
  • Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series Lucy Liu (2000)
  • Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series Peter MacNicol (1999–2001)

NAACP Image Awards:

  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Lisa Nicole Carson (1999–2000)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Jennifer Linsley (1999)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series Lucy Liu (2000)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series Jesse L. Martin (2000)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Lisa Nicole Carson (2002)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Taye Diggs (2002)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Jennifer Holliday (2002)
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series Regina Hall (2003)



  1. ^ "The Final Countdown". 1998-05-29.,,283382,00.html. 
  2. ^ "Final ratings for the 1998–1999 TV season". Archived from the original on 2009-10-23. 
  3. ^ "TV Ratings 1999–2000". 
  4. ^ "The Bitter End". 2001-06-01.,,256435,00.html. 
  5. ^ "How Did Your Favorite Show Rate?". 2002-05-28. 
  6. ^ Michelle L. Hammers, "Cautionary Tales of Liberation and Female Professionalism: The Case Against Ally McBeal" Western Journal of Communication 69 2, April (2005): 168. "The ease with which McBeals depictions of women are reincorporated into dominant masculinist discourses ... is particularly problematic for professional women. The increased danger that co-optation poses for professional women is due to the complex ways in which the discursive sedimentation that surrounds the female body, particularly as it has been traditionally sexualized and linked to emotionality, operates as a barrier to women's full and effective participation in professional spheres. Thus, McBeal operates as a cautionary tale about the dangers presented by the co-optation of postfeminist and third-wave feminist discourses as they relate to current professional discourses surrounding the female body.
  7. ^ "Is Feminism Dead? (Chat Transcript – Phyllis Chesler)". Time Magazine. June 25, 1998. 
  8. ^ "Is Feminism Dead? (Chat Transcript)". Time Magazine. June 25, 1998. 
  9. ^ "Ally McBeal, episode 12, season 2". 20th Century Fox. August 22, 2009. 
  10. ^ "Hot Weekend Rumor – Ally McBeal Coming Soon". TVShowsonDVD. June 19, 2009. 
  11. ^ "Amazon Posts Date for Season 1 & Complete Series". TVShowsonDVD. July 3, 2009. 
  12. ^ "Fox's Press Release for The Complete Series Confirms ALL ORIGINAL MUSIC!". TVShowsonDVD. August 7, 2009. 
  13. ^ Lambert, David (2010-01-20). "Ally McBeal – Fox Announces a Separate Season 2 Set With Press Release, Package Art". 
  14. ^ "Ally" (1999)

External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Wikipedia has an article about:

Ally McBeal was an American television legal comedy-drama starring Calista Flockhart. The show ran on the FOX network from 1997 to 2002.


Ally McBeal

  • There's no sin in loving men. Only pain!
  • We're not only wired to want what we can't have, but we're also wired to want what we really don't want.
  • You only die once!
  • When guys are persistent, it's romantic, they make movies about that. If it's a woman, then they cast Glenn Close.
  • Law and love are the same - romantic in concept but the actual practice can give you a yeast infection.
  • I like being a mess. It's who I am.
  • I've been dumped before, Renee. This isn't pain I'm feeling, it's nostalgia.
  • I mean, with all due respect, you sort of walk around with uppity breasts, and the hair flips aren't the most subtle. And your perfume - you could be flammable. Now what if somebody shut you down as a safety hazard, how would you feel then?
  • Here I am, the victim of my own choices. And I'm just starting.
  • Maybe I'm happy and I just don't know it.
  • The real truth is, I probably don't want to be too happy or content. Because, then what? I actually like the quest, the search. That's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. What do you know? I'm having a great time and I don't even know it.
  • Whenever I get depressed, I raise my hemlines. If things don't change, I am bound to be arrested.
  • [about Billy] He wants to have his cake and not eat me.
  • Hi! I'm Ally McBeal, homewrecker. Here's my card.
  • Wow... I have a boyfriend.
  • [Watches Nelle Porter unpin her bun and shake out her long, beautiful blonde hair] It's official: I HATE her!
  • Maybe I'll share my life with somebody... maybe not. But the truth is, when I think back of my loneliest moments, there was usually somebody sitting there next to me.
  • Sometimes... there's no point in the truth if the only thing it will do is cause pain.
  • The idea that when people come together, they stay together. I have to take that with me when I'm going to bed at night, Even if I'm going to bed alone.
  • Men are like gum anyway - after you chew they lose their flavor.
  • Sometimes I'm more persuasive when I lack conviction.
  • Uh, let the record reflect that the deponent is a fat, arrogant, overweight, bald pig.
  • Even if I did get past all my problems, I'm just gonna get out and get new ones.
  • Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me.
  • We're women. We have a double standard to live up to.
  • However much I know otherwise part of me has always felt that life has no real meaning until you get to share it with somebody. Maybe that's what I'm afraid of: my life finally taking meaning or suddenly becoming void of it.

John "The Biscuit" Cage

  • [about Santa Claus] A fat man, trying to squeeze through a narrow chimney, and I taunt him with Oreos and whole milk.
  • That's the trouble I suppose in coming at people with honesty, some times they counter with it.
  • I'm not going through an odd phase, I really am odd.
  • The world is no longer a romantic place. Some of its people still are however, and therein lies the promise. Don't let the world win, Ally McBeal.
  • If you think back, and replay your year - if it doesn't bring you tears of joy or sadness, consider the year wasted. (last episode of first season).
  • Frog Song (sung by John Cage in "Worlds Without Love")
Green legs leaping.
Amphibial reaping.
Life zeal.
It's all in the keeping.
Be a frog.
Be a frog.
Be a frog.
Be a frog.

Richard Fish

  • You're not who you are, you're only what other people think you are. Fishism.
  • [A judge has just denied his motion] Let the record show: dammit.
  • Is that the two cents? I'd be looking for change.
  • Objection! Your Honor, this is boring!
  • Everybody's alone. It's just easier to take in a relationship.
  • Helping others is never more rewarding than when it's in your own self interest.
  • Let me tell you something. I didn't become a lawyer because I like the law; the law sucks. It's boring, but it can also be used as a weapon. You want to bankrupt somebody? Cost him everything he's worked for? Make his wife leave him, even make his kids cry? Yeah, we can do that.
  • "Problem" is just a bleak word for challenge.
  • Make enough money, and everything else will follow. Quote me. That's a Fishism.
  • She told her that you told her about what she told you. I'm in the middle and clueless. I feel like Elaine.
  • You know, I had a great aunt once who said if you stare at a beautiful woman too long, you turn to stone. She was partially right.
  • Fishism - Catchphrase
  • Bygones - Catchphrase
  • Next up - Catchphrase
  • [Talking to Margaret Camaro, butch lesbian sociologist] Camaro. Isn't that a muscle car?
  • Er... love without sex is er... meaningless... Senior Fishism!
  • The key to successful parenting is knowing when not to.

Elaine Vassal

  • That was with all due respect?
  • A lot of people forget what they're saying in a fit of rage, so I'll be happy to take the minutes.
  • Sometimes she just looks snappish.
  • Snappish!
  • That was a snappish remark disguised in a soft tone.
  • I'm sure she's quite stupid, and in time, gravity will get her.
  • She's two-thirds of a Rice Krispie treat. She's already snapped, and crackled, and she's ready for the final pop.
  • Oh, forgive my bluntness. It's a device I use to cope.

Ling Woo

  • It's a problem being beautiful. It's only the handsome men that ask us out because they're the only ones who think they have a chance. And handsome men are dolts. Life is unfair to us. At some point we have to face the certain reality: despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing - shopping.
  • This woman [Elaine] drips with sarcasm at my personal expense.
  • Nelle is like a sister; when she's in pain, I throw up!
  • I'm rich. I only go into work to wear my outfits!
  • I am really a very funny person.
  • He's about to take a very long moment
  • [After co-worker Billy announces he has a brain tumour] I hope he's not going to milk this...
  • [to a man in a wheelchair] "Watch where you are going! It's bad enough that you people get all the parking spots!"[1]
  • I think Tourettes is so cool. It would be great to be able to annoy people like that. You get to woop and twitch. Any other good ones?[1]
  • [When pointed out "there are real blind people in the world", Ling retorts] It's not like any of them saw me[1]
  • [After a blind man accidentally taps her with his cane] OW! I so prefer the deaf to the blind.[1]
  • I Object! I'm bored! As an officer of the court, I have a duty to be open and forthright. I think the witness is tedious and I'm concerned for the jury's attention span [1]
  • A woman hasn't got true control of a man until her hand is on the dumb stick[1]
  • There's nothing I enjoy more then seeing a happy couple and coming between them[1]


  • Renée Radick: People think you're strange, you know. Just, just sit there and don't talk.
  • Dr. Tracy Clark [plays a tape of people laughing]: Sometimes when a patient says something so competely naive, I find that my own laughter just isn't enough.
  • Nelle Porter: Ling, one of the disadvantages of having magnetism is that you bring people out, people that otherwise would go unnoticed. The fact that she can be so annoying is really a tribute to you!
  • Georgia Thomas: At the end of the day, life is just this big wall of reality that we all crash into.
  • Liza Bump [to Nelle Porter]: Do you talk, or do I have to pull a string?
  • Camaro: Why should I do anything for you? The last time I was here you called me a vicious lesbian!
  • Steven Milter: The younger man are trainable. If you find him attractive, if he's smart, take him home. Take him shopping! Take him into your bosom. It's not the man who makes the man. It's the woman!


Judge Jennifer "Whipper" Cone: No, I don't think you're nuts, but I don't think that you have both feet on the ground either.
Ally McBeal: You mean some people do?

Ally McBeal: You loved me.
Billy: Yeah. That's the truth. So much that sometimes, when we were apart, we used to keep an open phone line at night so while sleeping I could listen to your breath.

Dr. Tracy Clark: You kissed him? You're a slut!
Ally McBeal: I... I am not! I am not a slut!
Dr. Tracy Clark: Oh, come on! Don't fool yourself!

Ally McBeal: Where does she come up with these things?
Nelle Porter: Well, Ling wasn't editor of law review for nothing.
Ally McBeal: Ling went to Law School? Ling is a LAWYER?

Ally McBeal: Love isn't always enough.
Larry: Yeah, it is. You go without it long enough and you realize it's everything.

Nelle Porter: You having fun with this case?
Ling Woo: It's okay. I prefer being a plaintiff, but a defendant's nice too. I get a martyr glow.

Ling Woo: So Jackson Duper, you don't tell a woman your real name?
Jackson Duper: Hey, for all I knew...
Ling Woo: You knew me well enough to go to bed with me.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: Why the alias? You wanted?
Jackson Duper: No.
Ling Woo: Certainly not by me.
Jackson Duper: Excellent. Do I get to talk
Ling Woo: Fine. Quick, think up something.
Jackson Duper: Look...
Ling Woo: We're back to look.
Jackson Duper: Hey...
Ling Woo: We're back to hey.
Jackson Duper: Ling...
Ling Woo: How do you know my real name? Oh that's right, I gave it to you. What an odd thing to do.

[Ally is outraged when Ling convinces a dying boy that he could sue God]
Ling Woo: Do you know how his father died?
Ally McBeal: No. Do you?
Ling Woo: Yes, I overheard the nurses talking. He was crushed by a tree that was struck by lightning. THAT was an act of God, so we go after the Church, HOUSE of God. I need to pee.

Elaine Vassal: In a pinch, I sometimes allude to not wearing any underwear.
Ally McBeal: I won't be in that pinch.

Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.

Rabbi Stern: Are you always such a bitchy little thing?
Ally McBeal: Bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Coming in here, insulting the Talmud, insulting me!
Ally McBeal: What kind of rabbi calls somebody bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Ally McBeal: 'Cause I'm bitchy? God has no love for the bitchy?
Rabbi Stern: Get out.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Have no fear, Nelle, that girl is a bagel!
Nelle Porter: Bagel?
John "The Biscuit" Cage: [pauses] I meant to say 'toast.'

Ally McBeal: I am good in bed, Renee.
[Renee laughs]
Ally McBeal: What?
Renée Radick: Ally, I'm your roommate. We have thin walls, and you...
[Renee imitates small whining noises]
Ally McBeal: I don't sound like that.
Renée Radick: I make more noise breaking in a new shoe.
Ally McBeal: So how has it come to this? We're smart women, we're fairly attractive...
Renée Radick: I'm even hot.

Greg: You kicked him?
Ally McBeal: I didn't know he was real; I thought he was pretend.
Greg: You only kick pretend people?
Ally McBeal: [pause] Yes.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: I am an enigma.
Renée Radick: You're a cute little enigma.

Renée Radick: Well, don't get me wrong, Ally...
Ally McBeal: Why does everyone say that to me? Do I get everything wrong?
Renée Radick: No, it's just that what I am about to say may sound like an insult, so I want to buffer it.
Ally McBeal: Oh, okay.
Renée Radick: Emotionally, you're an idiot.

John "The Biscuit" Cage: Let's not forget that Lizzie Borden was found innocent of killing her parents.
Richard Fish: Oh, she did it; the jury just took pity on her for being an orphan.

Georgia Thomas: Well, by all means let's hear your opinion, Richard.
Richard Fish: Simple. Men and women. Friction.
Georgia Thomas: That's it? Friction?
Richard Fish: Friction, friction, friction, orgasm. Fishism. Are we going to dance or not?

Billy: Why do therapists always have to talk about sex?
Dr. Hooper: What can I say, Freud was a perv.

Ally McBeal: I'm trying to desensitize myself to murder so I can be a better lawyer.
Billy: Why don't you just watch the news?


  1. a b c d e f g Smith, Greg M. (2007). "Redmeeing Ally:Seriality and the Character Network". Beautiful TV: the art and argument of Ally McBeal (Illustrated ed.). University of Texas Press. pp. 91-98. ISBN 0292716435, 9780292716438.  

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