== History ==

Founded in 1495 by Christopher Columbus, the American Cooperative School of La Paz, Bolivia, is a private, co-educational school with a current enrollment of 400 highly spoiled, rich students. It offers an American based educational program, taught in English (sometimes Spanglish, I'm talking to you, Moyano!...and soon enough in Aymara and Quechua), from Pre-Kindergarten through grade 12 for students of all nationalities (Except for indigenous Bolivian children, we don't allow those). There's a vast racial diversity of white skinned people, ranging from very white to slightly tanned, and freckled kids. The high school curriculum is designed to prepare students for the college experience, and to face the reality of being a "gringo" in a South American country that hates Americans.

The School year

The school year comprises two grueling semesters extending from mid-August to mid-December and from early January to the end of May. The year, consisting of 180 days (unless there are national strikes), is divided into four quarterly marking periods. A summer school progam offering various courses is held annually for the slow kids, who think cows lay eggs, that Nelson Mandela is the president of Africa, that the Lebanese and Iranians are trying to take Israel back, and that the biggest population of Indians is in the U.S. By the end of the summer program, students feel confident in the fact that it is indeed chickens and not cows who lay eggs, proving just how challenging the summer program is.

The School Board (more liked school BORED)

The school is poorly governed by a ten-member Board of Trustees elected for two-year terms by the members of the association. Membership in the association is automatically confirmed on the parents or guardians of students enrolled in the school. The school is incorporated and tax-exempt in the U.S., accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, and officially recognized by the Bolivian Ministry of Education (Until Evo decides to revoke the recognition,that is, jallalla Evo, jallalla Bolivia!)

Current Administration

Superintendant: Mr. Jon Walker, a godless killing machine.<br>
Middle School/Elementary Principal: Mrs. Marcene Pajera<br>
High School Principal: Pepe Aceituna, principal as of 2006, commonly disliked by the general student body. So far during his time as principal, he has established a dress code, and wanted to cancel the famous "Battle of the Bands" fund raising event at school.

Previous Administration, Teachers and Alumni

The school was founded by Herm Penland, who now resides in Belize. Recent rumours have surfaced that he was found dead in a ditch somewhere in Belize, after being viciously mauled by bears.

Dr. Dennis Sheehan (distant uncle of famous whiny-bitch Cindy Sheehan), now residing in Chile, succeeded Herm Penland, the schools PE TEACHER as Superintendant. He was later succeeded by Dr. David Cramer. In 2006, Dr. Cramer was replaced by High School Principal, Mr. Jon Walker.

One of the most famous alums, Luis Amado Pacheco (better known as Barbachoca/La Muerte Negra), currently resides in a two-story apartment in San Pedro Penitentiary in La Paz. The popular non-ficition novel Marching Powder indicates that he was arrested in Peru while attempting to transport 999.99 tons of cocaine to Mexico. He is currently dating his prison mate, Lucio Rejas, and suffers from chronic anal pains.

Reputation

The success of the American Cooperative School is unparalleled in many ways to American Schools across Latin America. Recent graduates have been admitted to some of the top universities in the United States, including UMSA, Harvard, UPB, Universidad de la Senora de La Paz ,University of South Carolina, Valencia Community College, Universidad Loyola, Universidad de El Alto, Yale, and The Fast Food College.

The "Hijitos de Papa" Scandal

In the late 1990s, however, a scandal struck the school. A number of high school students were involved in the infamous 'Scavenger Hunt', which led to public outcry and rage towards the so-called "hijitos de papa" (otherwise known as "gringos" or/and "preps"). In this activity, a group of students, who called themselves "Rastas", organized a hunt which included items such as mannequins from tailors, cholita hats, traffic lights, actual cholitas, dead babies from the morgue, a spree murder contest (the winner won by 10), teen molestation parties, SAT answer laundering, and trays from McDonald's (which consequently was the reason why McDonald's went broke from the lack of trays and decided to leave the country, leaving Chiki Pollos as the sole monopoly in the fast food market of Bolivia). One student was caught in the act, which led to the investigation of many students who in the end, did not get in trouble for their illegal acts since their parents owned the country at the time. These students were eventually found dead in a ditch, suspiciously mauled by Mr. Sheehan.

The Pool Scandal (aka the reason as to why the jacuzzi is "out of service")

Former Principal Dr. Sheehan was involved in a sex scandals with the school's unibrowed pool lady, Olga. To this day, the school lives under the disgraceful shadow of those events and Dr. Sheehan has left, taking with him the school's funds. He now resides in a six floored mansion in Chile, which he bought a year previous to escaping from Bolivia as he was well aware that he was going to be fired and that Evo was going to become the next president of the country.

The Coiner Scandal

The last and possibly most famous scandal the school has undergone in the last five years, is that of the dissapearance of Anne Coiner, the ACS high school math teacher. Missing in action, it is presumed this teacher is armed and dangerous. Rumour spread around the school that she was found dead in a ditch somewhere in Cupini, mauled by bears. Another recent rumour has surfaced portraying her as having joined the mob and since then has been "taken out" by the American government. Her replacement as of 2004-2005 was Tova Katz, who has also been considered M.I.A. as of last year. She is presumed to have joined the Bolivian Taliban. (Which believe it or not, is a real group with no connection to the real Taliban or any other Islamic extremist organization!)

Famous Quotes

"Yaps guys! Yaps c'mon!" - Esther Artieda

"So mach maniy, I can't bilive maiy irs!" - Jhonny An

"No caca, NO CACA!" - Nicholas Chung

"Wars are fair, it teaches countries to defend themselves" - Maria Fernanda Rada

"If you're getting raped, just cooperate" - Paul 2.0: The embassy spokesperson guy who came to talk about security

"Cuñapes!! Apapay!! Empanadas!! Galletitas!!" - Vicky the vendor

"Me debes 20 Bolivianos ya de hace un mes" - Chela y Adela, to everyone who passes by their candy stands even though they have never bought a candy from them in their lives.

External Links

Official Homepage

Fan Sites

Just kidding