BZPower: Your home. The place where you can be happy. "DA KEWL F0RNM LEIK TINGY!1!!" All of these things are BZPower. And if you don't like it, well, you're screwed.

History

BZPower can trace its origins to the outskirts of Alaska, in a small log cabin. Kanohi-Power and BionicleZone Community, it's parents, had sexual intercourse, and, 9 months later, BZP emerged into the new Effed-Up World.

The parents were then ashamed, and turned out the deformed child into the world of the 1NT4Rw3B!!ONEONE

Of course, the weather was harsh in Alaska, and many people did not fair well with the new guy. For example, his family was low-income, so he was forced to live on, primarily, "I Can't Believe It's Not Hitler". Of course, there are still some Nazi in it today, but the foul smell caused some people to vomit.

BZPower got its skin while looking at a Martha Stewart catalog. Or maybe Martha escaped from prison and shoved the skin down Tohu's throat. Or maybe Toto bit Dorothy's ass and the Wicked Witch of the West is good in bed. Either way, the forum skin was going to be from the Martha Stewart Everyday catalog. Then one day a fashion designer came and called it "atrocious". We think he was gay, so we said hell with that, let's make it Martha Stewart.

Teenage Days

BZP's days as a teenager were like most- drugs, money, cartoons, and cee puns (which are bad puns that some people use, originally from the name Cee-estee). However, all of these "evils" caused BZP's son, Hapori Tohu, to be born.

Hapori Tohu was the product of BZPower and an unsuspecting prostitute, who promptly dropped Hapori Tohu off and left. Below is a democumented interview with the prostitute:


Interviewer: Thank you for coming out like this.

Prostitute: Anything for you, baby.

I: Yes, well, anyway, about BZP-

P: What the Hell do you wanna talk about BZP for? He was good-looking, I asked, and he/she said, sure. And then HT came.

I: Have you seen Hapori Tohu since?

P: Many times, baby. I'd like to see you more, though.

I: *blush* Hehe, thanks.

P: Anytime.


Of course, the entire interview fell apart, and one-two-three, HT got a stepbrother, Your Mom.

Adulthood

Of course, all people reach that certain age where they look for someone to settle down with, and BZP found just that person: Cindy. Cindy, however, had two problems:

She was a guy, and

She was married to Saddam Hussein

The latter caused many problems, and the fact that Saddam was still alive caused many more. This led to Operation: Desert Storm, which tragically ended with Cindy being caught in it. She still has yet to be found. It has been rumored that BZP did not load for Cindy, who was also a Sinclair ZX81.

BZP later became infatuated with Uday Hussein until he was killed by Coalition forces. Later, when Saddam resorted to hiding in the hole, BZP was there also. BZP made a miraculous escape before Saddam was found. This could be to do with the intervention of Gosh.

Myths, Legends, and Pie

BZP's private life has little known of it, though there are some myths and beliefs.

For example, it is thought that Cindy was indeed found, and is currently living in a reitrement home, paid for by BZP. This would provide the fact that the search feature is still offline.

Also it was thought that BZP was gonna be hacked by a certain member, that was a crappy Myth and was disproven

...and pie. Loads of pie.

Pie is the main life-supporting system that members on BZP have. It is worshipped as a god in some parts of BZPower. The Artwork Forum especially has a creepy pie fetish. We think such mad scientists as Pohuki and *Dark709* are behind this. Those guys are whacked.

Death

BZP's funeral was an extremely sad one. The viewing was appreciated by many people who knew it, including Mask of Destiny and The Brotherhood of Makuta. MNOnline V3 still owed BZP money due to a lost bet and was unable to attend.

BZP chose himself to speak at the funeral, which is weird, because they're already dead (duh!), but the speech moved many. He gave solemn farewell to, well, himself, and the coffin was lowered into the ground. They never covered it with dirt, because they said that they wanted everyone to throw garbage at them to pay respect. <small>BZP took loads of fun when doing this. Rawr.</small>

Revival and Zombification

A few moments ago, BZP exhumed himself and became a zombie. With this revelation, Black Six, an evil version of the number six, became an admin, and used his amazing superpowers to fly around and make things evil. With this revelation, BZP started a zombie outbreak in the town of Fucking in Austria. yes, it exists.

Black Six has a few siblings. Blue Six, Red Six, Green Six, Yellow Six, Purple Six, Pink Six, White Six, Brown Six, Aquamarine Six, Violet Six, and Magenta Six, and, we can't forget Teal Six, Orange Six and #55C668 Six.

Start of a Cult

Over time, BZP read many books, and started a website thingamajig of its own.

Members

The staff primarily consists of unemployed strippers, living off McDonalds and reading the latest "Captain Banaska" comics.

There are four administrators.

One of them, Bionicle Rex left because his mother was giving birth,we know she is a prostitute and got the baby off some fat dude in his Mid 90's. The actual name of the fat dude is unknown.

mfuss903 lik ahd a genetik condishun taht kept him form uuzing corekt speling. Currently, he spends a lot of time telling people to clam down. Because of this, we think he has a seafood fetish. I mean, the guy is stalking Red Lobster. How could you not think that, dude?

Ninjo was the product of Bionicle Rex's mother and Clint Eastwood. Long story about that. Waaaaay too bored to tell it.

One member, Dr. Bionicle was scarred for life after viewing this page.

Kex is a ruthless semi-retarded pie eating demon. He is product of all our fears and thoughts, if no one believes in him, he'll no longer exist.

Intelligence

No comment. All we can say is this: it's not high. We suggest you go to watching paint dry for higher intellect.

Food

BZP has a wide variety of foods available, all stolen off the black market. Most of them involve members being chewed up and spit out again. Examples:

Pepsilon

Eggso

Omicorn

Hopari Tofu

Cee-icedtea

Pooptopia(tm)

Martha O's

HNDates

Doctor Blueberryicle

Clam Rex (his idea)

The_Eliminator's MvMsicles

All puns are available on page 1968 in COT. Thank you for visiting. Come again!

The Language

If you wish to interact with BZPers, you must first learn their language. Let's begin with a few simple phrases:

OMG - Oh my Gosh

LOL - Laughing Out Loud

KUTGW - Keep Up The Good Work

ROTFL - Rolling On The Floor Laughing

Of course, if you really wish to understand all the complex language, you must see the Noob dialect of these phrases:

oMG11 - Oh my gosh, I'm an idiot.

ZoMg1!1 - Zebras oh my gosh, I'm an idiot!

lOl!!12 - I have no life.

kuTGW!12 - Pie is good.

roTfl!!12 - See ZoMG1!1

3y3 4|\/| l337! - I am a homosexual

n00b - Average BZP Staffer.

With this in mind, you should be able to complete simple tasks like finding a restroom, sabatoging the Software forum, and shaving your armpits.

External Links

BZPower- The Cult