Blaenffos is a small village between Crymych and Cardigan in Wales.


It could be said that it is the posh, middle class suburb of Crymych itself. It has produced some very recognisable characters, such as John Davies (Llanelli and Wales rugby player), Rhodri 'Evan' John (Scrum 4, BBC), Tomi Jones (Crymych Youth rugby player) and Dafydd Jones (?) and Guto Vaughan (the sexiest thing after Stan Cold). Rhydian Harries, the renowned rugby and cricket player is also from the Higher Blaenffos region, which also produced coaches such as Tudor Harries, who has coached legendary players such as Gethin Vobe and Wayne Proctor; and Olympic horse riders, such as Ffion Harries. From this same region of the village are two operatic singers - Buddug Jones and Lal.

The origin of the name Blaenffos is widely argued. Some say that it is because there is a 'ffos' (en: trench) running down the side of the road through the village, but the more probable reason is the Roman King, Blaendor (shortened to 'Blaen') killed the legendary Celt, Ffosiwr ap Rhydderch (shortened to 'Ffos') on a small piece of land known nowadays as 'Glenig'.

Glenig has always played a central role in the village's history. This was where the Bible was first written in Welsh by Granville John, the multi-millionaire, and it was also where the gruesome murder of Henry XII took place. It is now the home of town mayor, Nigel Vaughan. His son, Dafydd Vaughan is the local pin-up, and every girl in the local area knows who he is!!! The area is also used as a Motel for Drug abusers, Alcoholics or Street Urchins to stay for free. Obvious long term tennants are Scott Powell and Gwydion Griffiths.

The village is renowned for it's Papa la Rouges, or 'Gingers'. One obvious person is Tomi Jones, the leader of the local gang, 'Blaenffos Bretherin'. Brought up by wolves in the Treweryll Valley, he came to live with the family of Ian Jones, the local mechanic and was taken in as their own. He is now the sole leader of the gang, who drive up and down the Crymych area terrorising the local people. He is known in his circle as 'Cochyn' or 'The Jackal'. Others in the gang are Vaughndayz, Iceman, Fflach, Ozzi the Muscle, Torchwood, Stan, Le Chifre, Carter and the other Harries. An unkown hitman/assassin known as 'The Docker' has recently been added to their mix, and murders in the area has already gone up 30% in the past 15 months. Their real names are unknown. They generally control the traffic, money, people and food going in and out of the village, and, with the help of Giacomo Maragilo, form the bulk of the Preseli Mafia - a worldwide organisation, famous for their secrecy (the Frenni Transport vehicles seen around Europe are part of their drug scheme).

Many famous bands have emerged from the small village - mostly from the central region of Blaenffos, known as St. Lucifer's square, because of the pagan ritual of witch burning and devil's worshiping that happened there during the 16th century. Garej Dolwen, Eusebio, Bois y Cownsil, Einir Dafydd and Pys Slwtch have all come from this village. Of course, Garej Dolwen have been the most succesful by far, selling over 2 million records from their first two albums, and going platinum with their third.

Some say that, had it not have been for the great depression of 1923, Blaenffos would have grown, over the next few years to become the capital of Wales, and even the most powerful city in the world by 1946.

The most famous landmark, by far is the Cathedral, which was built in 1654 in a Baroque design by Italian architect, artist and designer Leonardo Cepaccio Maragillo (who later came back to live in Blaenffos, bringing with him much culture). The interior consists of a 167 foot high turret, decorated with Angelic images from the Bible - including images of Lucifer which were painted after the witch burnings.

The famous protests of 1769 happened in the two streets leading off from St. Lucifer's Square - Erw Wen and Llysonnen. Here, the people of the Sinsir Religion (from Erw Wen), and the DJ Rosebush haters eyed each other up, before breaking into a full blown civil war, for control over the local pub, Rhos Inn, now known as Rhoslyn stores. The battle ended tragicaly, with the local hero Islwyn John being stabbed from behind by Stan 'Y Cold' Thomas. Chants such as 'Ffwcia'i', 'Ddim toys yw rhein', 'Ychydig o Lefrith','wip hi mas' and 'Rhys Jones has big Guns' were used to intimadate the opponent. Rhys Jones did in fact have big guns, which he used to good effect, destroying the DJ Rosebush haters' place of worship (known as the 'Tafarn Sink') with 2000 people inside.

Nowadays, there is a big war going on between the Bretherin (who have recently taken control of the local Mafia), and the Rebel Gang known as 'Sweds'. Their front man, Eiron Sweds stated "Dwi'n heto nw". Roughly translated, this means "I would like to come to an agreement about who controls the traffic going in and out of the village, peacfuly".

The quote of the village is "Ychydig o Lefrith, ond Ddim Toys yw Rhein, Wip hi mas". It is an old Latin quote that means - "Strength is in Wisdom".

Myth of the killer bird- aderyn y grwcni

This rare Welsh bird was first seen looming around the outside of the popular and upcoming night club 'Hippo Hall'.Local bird watcher Dilwyn Pryddech ap Bob believes that this rare bird is very dangerous,and insists that if approached by this killer bird to call the local animal athourity in Mathri.

In addition to the killer birds<math>Insert formula here</math>

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,local residents say that they have witnessed a strange sipsi looking girl crawling around the field near by eating mushrooms gravy and jam.Local police man Kenny say's that this strange looking foreign sipsi girl called Sioned Williams, is also dangerous and shoud be killed at first opportunity. All in all accommodation in the village is easy and safe, and the recommended hotel 'Glenig Paradise' is a relaxing and soothing stay with chance to relax in the outside swimming pool and the 24 hour bar,although standing Mayor Nigel Vaughan can get very angry and might threaten with base ball bats if needed to because of noise disturbance.

==The Blaenffos welshcake factory.

In past couple of years Blaenffos is well now for the welshcakes factory in lower blaenffos area which produces 15 different types of welshcakes. The only welshcake factory in Wales that makes pisio cwrcin welshcakes(very nice!!!!!). The factory was established in 2000 by a local business man called Owain ap Rhys.(known as Owain Bach to his friends). Owain ap Rhys was thinking of buying the local night club Hippo Hall, but after a long discussion with his mother decided it would be a better invesment to buy the welshcake factory. The welshcake industry has risen by over 52% shortly after the opening of the welshcake factory in lower BLaenffos. It is said that the factory is extremely succsefull and making a profit of about 12.3 million a year. Owain ap Rhys obviously made a wise decision to invest in this investment rather than in the Hippo Hall. This just shows that listening to your mother is sometimes a wise thing to do as Owain ap Rhys`s story proves.

Tomos Dyfan Jones then took over the business in 1993. Tomos is the ginger monster who can carry a car, that you read about ath top of the article. He is married to the supermodel Jessie Louise Emerton who works at the factory as a Receptionist. Tomos or Tomi as he is known has gained an NVQ in Bakery Studies which has led to this career in the Welsh Cakes Industry.


As well as the welsh cake factory, there has been many sightings of a strange mythilogical creature caled the human crow it has many other names such as the human rake jackarackarabbacka and so on. Many famous explorers have searxhed for this creature who was last sighted at the top of the village by loacal superstar rhidian harries who said "Does my hair look ok" Rhidian who gained three gce's and an nvq in bird watching was a relible source and as i have said the last to have spotted the human crow. Many great explorers have have tried and failed to capture this wonderours thing such as garan evans the best rugby player ever,local playboy model NESTA and many other great names, all of whom have had great help from the people of the village and have been made welcome in the local hotel/massage parlour GLENIG.