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Bottlebashers is a simple game played with a wooden bat and a plastic bottle, based on both cricket and baseball.

Notes on Article

Written by co-inventor of the game, pictures temporarily unavailable. This game is seriously played. This article is the only reference to this sport at this current time, and therefore is the most reliable.

History

Bottlebashers has its origins in the suburb of Girraween, in Sydney, Australia. The game was developed one afternoon in late 2004 when two telve-year old boys named Bastiaan Uytterhoven-Spark and Leo Nelson could not find a tennis ball to play with that day after the rest of their group were overseas on holiday. They originally wanted to play stick cricket however nobody they knew had a ball with them. So they decided to use a 600mL (1 pint) plastic Coca-Cola bottle as a substitute for a ball. A new game was born.

Playing the game

Objective Of The Game

As in cricket or baseball, the objective of the pitcher is to pitch the bottle in a frisbee action in a way that may dismiss the batsman. (see section on Dismissal.)
For the batsman the objective of the game is to hit the bottle as far as possible.

Dismissal

A batsman may be dismissed or called out when 1.He/she is hit; this is when the pitcher succedes in pitching the bottle in a way that it hits the batsman on any part of the body that is not the forearm or shin. 2.He/she is caught; this is when the batsman hits the bottle, but the pitcher or a fielder (extra player) manages to catch the ball before it touches the ground, or 3.He/she fences the bottle by hitting it over a nearby fence. This rule is only applicable to the Girraween ground or any field near a fence.

The Field

The original field in Girraween High School is a square of four trees as corner-markers, approximately four metres (12ft) apart. A stump, a bit of wood similar to a bit of firewood is placed inbetween two of the trees directly opposite an aluminium bench or silverseat marked where the pitcher is to pitch from. The original field is partially surrounded by two fences.

The Bottle

The original bottles were 600mL sealed plastic Coca-Cola bottles but on experimentation with other bottles, 300mL Mountain Dew bottles turned out to be the most efficient. In early 2005, PVC tape was added to make the bottle last longer. This turned out to be successful.

The Bat

The original bat was a fallen branch, about 60cm (2ft) long and 2.5(1in.) wide. However, due to competition with the cricket players, Bottlebashers players were forced to search for a new bat that was inappropriate for cricket play. What they came up with was an old tomato stake that was too thin for stick cricket but gave amazing results for Bottlebashers. This is the main bat used today. Blah blah blah this page is gaythis page is gaythis page is gaythis page is gay

Scoring

A scoring system was introduced, but it was never really used. It awarded the batsman with points for how far he hit the bottle, or if the bottle hit a tree after coming off the bat.

Psychological reasons for playing this game

it is believed by scientists that the reason this game was thought of by Leo Nelson was due to
the effects of a unique mental illness called leonitis. One of the many symptoms of this disease is mental incapacitation or severe slowing in mental development, in other words, retardation (cuz I mean seriously, what kind of sane person in their right state of mind would play this bullshit?!?!?!?). Being born into a poor nuclear family with parents who hadn't received much education, Leo lived hearing the constant ringing of abusive language an strange foreign noises emitted by his parents. This drove Leo insane. By the time he entered high school he had developed an illness known as leonitis.

Symptoms

symptoms of this illness include

- constant twitching

- strange schizophrenic like states such as hearing voices, hearing strange ringing noises etc.

- extreme paranoia esp. extreme fear of aliens and obsession with the thought that they are out to get him

- strange hallucinative dreams of falling, aliens, old chinese men with uzis etc.

- mental incapacitation (this shows in everyday social life as most of the victims communicative skills turn to gibberish)

- mindless urge to perform random acts of brutal, pure unadulterated violence on ANY object or organism

- small penis

- urge to prove about penis size

- tendency to wear inadequately sized pants and cause others around him do the same

- tendency to attract oddities of the human race. None of Leo's social 'group' are normal in any physical or mental way. They may all have something different but they ALL have oddities. One outstanding example is calcium deficiency. If a normal person does get attracted, they will gradually get warped and corrupted into useless little beings eg. Simon Gatt of Blacktown, NSW

- extremely repellant to anything of the opposite sex except for Shirley Zu, a very strange, swine like creature and perhaps his family cat Cougar, who is a female

- gradual thinning of blood vessels especially those in the nostrils causing very frequent nose bleeds.

- long term exposure (i.e. years) will result in signs of a minor brain tumor eg. father Ross Nelson

- causes bad luck wherever he dwells esp. to animals that are close to him.. Leo has had several pets, all of them have some how escaped or died in the most horrific manner such as decapitation

LEO I SWEAR F YOU DELETE THIS YOU HAVE DECLARED WAR.....SEE YOU TOMMORROW...