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This festival does not feature million dollar
headline acts, spoiled nitrous-huffing gangsta wannabes, or muddy
slam-dancers dropping gold cards.The
Festival does not charge hundred dollar entrance fees, allow
vendors hawking bad vegetarian food at outrageous prices, or sport
whiny fake-folk anorexic granola grrrls sporting thousand dollar
nighties and impeccable market research skills.There are no boring rock stars, in fact NO rock stars,
in fact NO MUSIC AT ALL other that what the participants
bring.The Burning Shithead Festival is
what we make it.One purpose alone unites
festival participants: to burn shithead.
The top activies at the
Burning Shithead Festival are:
1.Burn
Shithead
Shithead is the cold dry breakfast cereal which is
orange or green in color, circular in shape and tastes (ever so
slightly) of apples.Shithead is
sustenance at the Burning Shithead Festival and is consumed in many
ways (including fire).For further
information about shithead, see the Shithead Lexicon.To the left, Shithead fires break out at sunset in a
dazzling desert display.
2.Participate in the Shithead Olympics
As a
participant or a Spectator, there is and never will be an sporting
event to rival the Shithead Olympics
3.Dance to DJ Ben and the Shitheads.
Not since the creation of the Shithead Olympics has
Burning Shithead seen such a galvanizing force.
4.Climb rocks, hike, and run
trails
Festival participants are serious about
this.They often wander off into the
desert and just start climbing.One
should be sure to bring a flashlight and water if they are planning
to do this.At Burning Shithead V
festival participants did the Forty Nine Palms oasis trail
twice.Once during this hike a violent
thunderstorm forced participants to turn back, but once the clear
weather returned participants made it all the way to the
oasis.
5.Drink beer, water, and poppy tea
The poppy tea may
be illegal.Beer and water are
staples.Participants should drink both
in large quantities at Burning Shithead.Featival participants typically find the best deals we
can on decent beer and buy as much as the store has in stock.
6.Load the bowl
Of course, the
most traditional way to consume shithead is orally.Participants will need a bowl for
this.
7.Play midnight sports
Participants get pretty restless out there in the desert in the
middle of the night.The hotel parking
lot is a great place to throw football or play Frisbee because it's
lit.It's even better out in the desert
with a glowing Frisbee or ball because participants can see the
object they are going for but one can't tell when one is about to
run into a bush or something like that (cool).
8.Overcrowd the hotel
rooms with Festival participants and rage
As many as thirty
festival participants have crowded the largest suite in the hotel
at once and in a short period of time consumed massive quantities
of shithead, beer, etc.
9.Swim and
hottub
This is the most common daytime activity at Burning
Shithead.It's usually too hot to do
anything else except hang out in the air conditioned hotel rooms
and sleep (if one dares to try) or load the bowl, which can even
happen at the pool.
10.Conduct
poolside BBQ's.
Becoming an increasingly popular tradition at
Burning Shithead, the extent and variety of cuisine which finds it
way on the BBQ is becoming very very tasty.Participants nixed an attempt at making shithead
puree.
11.Play pool at the local bars
There are actually some pretty good dive bars to hang out at in
the town.The Marines at the Twenty Nine
Palms Base are typically confined to base if they stay for the
Labor Day weekend, so it's not as crazy as usual and getting a
table is pretty easy.
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