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Casstoons: Wikis


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Casstoons is the name of a satirical stripcomic, drawn by EspanolBot, and written by Drink, although other writers (such as Ing, Justin Carr and ChthonicSpirit) have contributed to it. It describes the diverse misadventures of Cassandra Cain, the third Batgirl, and Tim Drake, the third Robin, the vast majority of those dealing with the recent editorial decision of DC to make Cass evil.

In a moment of rage following the release of Robin #150, where that storyline began, Drink and Espanolbot, notorious members of the Cass Cult, made a small strip where Cass rips Didio's face off. If you ask almost anyone, he deserved it.

After this first try, the two members continued to make strips about that editorial decision, always giving Cassandra Cain the major role. Soon, the strips diverged to include other DC characters (and more recently Marvel and Vertigo ones) and to concentrate on other storylines, not necessarily linked to Cass and Tim. The two characters, however, always appear in the strips.

Most characters in the Casstoons are either parodies or caricatures of their comic versions. For example, Hal Jordan is extremely offensive towards women and minorities, and Iron Man is portrayed with a Martini in hand, a jab at his past as an alchoholic. Cass her self has committed a series of horrifically violent murders in her increasing desperation to become 'good' again.

The Casstoons have also produced a daughter comic of sorts featuring Booster Gold in addition to Cass, produced entirely by HotAndCold, who usually uses the comic to express her rage at the handling of Booster in 52.

Casstoons became the most important attraction of the Cass Cain appreciation thread (on Superdickery) in a matter of weeks. It has also been successfully presented to the official DC message boards and other noteable forums.

Characters and People that have appeared in the Casstoons, (ordered by significance, than alphabet)


  • Cassandra Cain- Most current Batgirl who was turned evil recently. In a desperate attempt to become good again, Cass has gone a series of crazy adventures, as portrayed in the Casstoons. She tends to point out the holes in the logic of comics, and often seems to be the only rational person around her. Currently the Pope of the Catholic Church and the Boxing Champion of the world.
  • Tim Drake- The current Robin. Often he is an asshole towards Cass, but despite that, she still hangs out with him and has even let him live with her when Damian burned all of Tim's things at Wayne Manor. He is currently involved with Rose Wilson, Cassie Sandsmark, and Mia Dearden (Despite her HIV infection) Sometimes all at once.


  • Access- The guardian over the doorway to DC and Marvel. Access had a vendetta against Cass due to her liberal passage through the universes.
  • Batman- Ultimate Superhero. Has Bat-Female-Sidekick-Forgetting and Baby-Kidnapping powers.
  • Beast Boy- Former Teen Titans who hangs out with the main characters. Cass often injures him in one way or another.
  • Adam Beechen- The writer who did the story in which Cass went evil. For his own safety, he is never shown in the same panel as Cass.
  • Black Canary- Bird of Prey and Cass's friend.
  • Cthulhu- Think of a tentacle-rape monster with the Power Cosmic. Cthulhu is a Great Old One who has risen unopposed. Thus far, he has only eaten some Miskatonic University students.
  • Death- Goth and guide to recently deceased souls. Has given Hal and Ollie a free ticket to come back to life after they groped her since she didn't what to deal with them on a regular basis.
  • Dream (Daniel)- Death's brother and Cass's English tutor.
  • Dan DiDio- Whose face is permanately bandaged after an angry Cass assaulted him, tearing off the skin from his skull
  • Deadpool- Merc with the Mouth and Cass's neighbour at her apartment complex. The two have become friends and often go on adventures together, whether to another dimension or just down to the Pizza Joint on the corner.
  • Deathstroke- Incestuous pedophile and leader of the Titans East.
  • The Devil - AKA Jimmy Olsen
  • Boba Fett- Bounty Hunter and aquaintence of Cass.
  • Barbara Gordon- Formerly Batgirl, currently Oracle. Although surly at times (particularly when dressed as a Dalek), she's Cass's surrogate sister.
  • J. Jonah Jameson- Hot headed editor. Hated by Spider Jerusalem.
  • Spider Jerusalem- Futuristic journalist also displaced from time by Cass.
  • Hal Jordan- The foremost Green Lantern, the Halmeister gets by on his rugged good looks and his 50's style charm. In reality, he's a racist Man-Whore who hasn't got with the times. He taught Cass to punch again after her hands were damaged in a cooking fire. He then started spreading rumors that he made it with her, for which Lady Shiva kicked him in the balls hard enough to break his pelvis.
  • Henchie- Cass's Henchman. Mainly used in menial chores. Despite Ninja outfit, he's British.
  • Jonah Hex- Western Bounty Hunter displaced from time by Cass.
  • Road Hogg- A pig/human type thing, this past character from Cass's series crashed at her place, only to start living with Supergirl after a backfired rape attempt.
  • Huntress- Bird of Prey and Cass's friend. They often drink Tea together and discuss current events.
  • Iron Man- Drunken Womanizer and advocate for Superhero registration. Built a robotic geisha version of Cass, called Lovecass.
  • Bette Kane- Technically a former Batgirl (Although most won't admit it), Cass repeatedly exacts revenge on this poor doofus to make herself feel better.
  • Dr. Light- Rapist who was banished to the Shadow realm by the Shade, then raped by Supergirl. He then turned himself in after the ironic rape.
  • Love Cass- A robotic nympho version of Cass in a bikini and an increased bustline.
  • Miss Martian- Cute new hero who was the object of lust for the womanizers. Cass protected her with violence and smarts.
  • Midnighter and Apollo- Comics leading gay couple. Cass crushes on Midnighter, despite his orientation and marital status. He gave her one of his leather coats as a gift.
  • Miho- Cass's Ninja contemporary from Sin City and current champion of intercompany tournament (Only because Cass didn't compete though).
  • Nightwing- Former Robin. He is either a manic depressant or hopelessly emo. No one really bothered to do a proper diagnosis. No matter how bad you got things, Chances are you're still better off than Nightwing.
  • Rorschach- Hrrrm
  • The Secret Six- Consisting of Catman, Scandal, Deadshot, Ragdoll, Knockout, and Mad Hatter. Their appearances typically involve strange sexual practices and hat crimes.
  • The Shade- Cool anti-hero and anti-rape advocate.
  • Gail Simone- Unseen, made brief appearance to comfort Cass.
  • Sinestro- Cass's teacher in EVIL!
  • Skeletor and Evil Warriors- Tri-Klops, Mer-Man, et. al
  • Spoiler- As a mummified corpse, yet treated as alive. Dating Superboy.
  • Starfire- not directly involved with Cass or her friends, but recently cured Nightwing's depression by tying him up in Wonder Woman's lasso and making violent alien smex to him.
  • Superboy- As a presevered severed head. Dating Spoiler
  • Supergirl- A Horrid bitch, Supergirl has become a serial rapist, and often comes to blows with Cass over different subjects. Namely, how calling Supergirl a one-dimensional character is a compliment.
  • Superman- A dick. During a psychotic rampage, Cass smacked him with a kryptonite hammer.
  • Titans East (Inertia, Choirboy, Match, Sungirl, Risk and Duella Dent)- Cass's current Super-team that consists mainly of boneheads
  • Lil' Cassie Wilson- The hypothetical daughter of Cass and Deadpool
  • Green Arrow- Man-Whore and Commie Pinko extrordinaire. Cass killed him for groping her.
  • The rest of Team Arrow (Arsenal, Speedy and Connor Hawke): Wards and/or bastard children of Green Arrow.
  • Damian/Ibn Al Xu'ffacsh- The bastard son of Batman. Possibly the Anti-Christ.
  • The Goddamn Batman- A harder, meaner, drinkinger and Goddamner version of Batman from the 80's.
  • Superboy Prime- punch-happy lunatic from another universe.
  • Sin, AKA Cass Jr.- Adopted daughter of Black Canary, Cass gave Sin a minature Batgirl cowl of her very own.
  • Lady Shiva- Cass's mum
  • David Cain- Cass's dad. Obsessed with breeding his daughter with eligible bachelors.
  • Jason Todd- Former Robin/corpse. Cass has twice one-punched him for trying to usurp the Batgirl role.
  • Wolverine- Semi-omnipotent superhero with claws.
  • Wondergirl- Teen Titan and one of Tim's girls.
  • Wonder Woman- Gets her lasso stolen regularly.
  • Zatanna*- Slept with Hal Jordan as part of a deal involving a mindwipe, after Hal saw Miss Martian turn into a naked Green Arrow.


  • Less Significant Characters


  • Arrowette- Sole Young Justice member and possible bastard child of Green Arrow.
  • Black Cat*
  • Brain and Monsiour Mallah- Another gay couple. DC can't seem to point this fact out enough lately.
  • Cable- Liefeldian character and Deadpool's buddy. Is pissed off at Wade left the book and started living next to Cass.
  • The League of Cass Villians- A group of mediocre villians that Cass faced: Rigor Mortis- A stiffened corpse, Miss Fire- A

  • near sighted pyrokinetic, and Gelatin Man- The name pretty much describes him, but he's Scottish.
  • The Chief- Leader of the Doom Patrol and all-around asshole.
  • Jesse Custer- Texan Preacher with the voice of God.
  • Darkseid- New God. Got his hand broke during Handshake with Cass (Much to her own disbelief).
  • The TG-Verse- Many Transgendered version of aformentioned characters, such as Tina for Tim)
  • Elektra*
  • Evil Cass- The version of Cass that appeared in Robin. Is either wearing a "Lil' Shiva" outfit or a Batgirl cowl with a monocle and glowing red eyes. While evil, she isn't particularly bright, despite her percipacity.
  • The Flash- At least one of them anyway
  • Guy Gardener- Green Lantern and sole Giffen League member.
  • The Goon*
  • Hellboy*
  • Henchman X- The evil version of Henchie
  • Josh- ridiculous character Huntress apparently slept with in Birds of Prey. Decapitated by Cass as a favor to all women.
  • Alfred Pennyworth- Batman's Butler. So incredibly English.
  • Ralph Dibny & Dr. Fate helmet- Stretchy hero who's out of his goddamn mind and helmet of a dead hero who he talks to.
  • Nina the Kryptonian Ninja- the hypothetical daughter of Cass and Superboy. For some reason, she speaks Japanese as a primary language.
  • Goldie- The hyothetical daughter of Cass and Booster Gold
  • The Punisher*
  • Kyle Rayner- Green Lantern who keeps getting women stuck in his fridge.
  • Robotman- Member of the Doom Patrol and John Byrne hater.
  • Vic Sage- News anchor and Objectivist hero, the Question. Knows the truth about Aglets.
  • Skeets- Robotic sidekick and Pimp.
  • Skats- Supposedly Skeets's daughter and Goldie's sidekick.
  • Thanos- Marvel's version of Darkseid (Or vice-versa, whichever came first). He also got his hand broken by Cass.
  • Donna Troy*
  • Maxwell Lord*
  • Leslie Thompkins*- insane murderer-by-proxy. Willing to perform lobotomies.

  • Various versions of Cass (Such as a Liefeldian Cass)
  • Captain America- Supports Anit-drug groups, despite getting his very powers from drugs.
  • Spider-Man- possibly brainwashed by Tony. Likes Jell-O
  • Alan Scott- Old Green Lantern. Cass once smacked him with a tree branch.
  • Raven- Has the misfortune of having Damien Scott as artist. Acquaintence of Cass.
  • Misty- Goth and Zatanna's apprentice. She sent Tim to the TG universe after he hit on the Goths.
  • The ressurected corpse of Blue Beetle- With Band-Aid on head
  • several members of the Scooby-Doo gang- Namely, Freddy and Shaggy
  • Captain Nazi* - a nazi. What more needs be said?
  • Joker- Psychotic clown. Killed the Hoborastafarmonkey-Joker from 'The Batman'.
  • Hoborastafarmonkey-Joker- Killed by the real Joker
  • Surge*
  • Dust*
  • Batwoman- She's a lesbian, in case you didn't hear.
  • Montoya- Lesbian cop.
  • Maggie Sawyer*- Another Lesbian cop.
  • Holly Robinson*- Lesbian and one of the current Catwomans
  • Obsidian*- Alan Scott's son. He's one of a few gay male DC characters.
  • Pied Piper*- Former Flash rogue and another of the few gay males in the DCU
  • Grace Choi*- Outsider and bi!slut.
  • Thunder* Outsider and (apparently) a lesbian, thanks to Judd Winick, although having sex with Grace may be the most interesting thing she's ever done.
  • Lobo- Fraggin' Bastitch who's Cass's rival for the Pope-hood.
  • Aquaman- Both the regular "classic" version and the "cool" current version
  • Bat-Mite- Batman's #1 fan from the 5th dimesion. Is smitten by Cass.
  • Stan Lee- Oddly enough, was bald in his first appearance, than had hair in subsequent appearances
  • Heroes for Hire- Mistaken by Cass for an S&M club.
  • Rose- As in Dr. Who's sidekick
  • Al from Quantum Leap
  • 'Mystery Guy'- Recurring evil force focussed on destroying Cass. Turned out to be Access
  • V- A man of wealth and taste.
  • X-23- Definite Wolverine clone and possible Cass clone from Marvel. The two girls were amalgamated by Access.




  • There is also a standard character model that Espanolbot uses frequently when a minor character (Such as a doctor or a shopkeep, for instance) is needed, rather than drawing a new one each time.
  • *It should be noted that these characters had very minor roles (few panels, little dialogue) thus far.


  • Link to Casstoons



    http://dcboards.warnerbros.com/web/thread.jspa?threadID=2000076418&tstart=0







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