A sergeant in Vietnam and currently a successful actor, Patton has had many great life achievements one of which was meeting Chuck Norris.
The love child of a cow farmer and a Dutch hamster salesman, he was one of eleven children. At age fifteen his father pulled him out of school to work in the family sulfur mines. However his father sent him to work in a box factory somewhere in Ohio. One tragic day a barrel of toxic splitters of wood collapsed on him. His unfortunate accident cost him the use of his right testicle. Feeling a great loss of dignity in his life, he made the decision of joining the Vietnam War as his own side. This didn’t go over to well so he joined the United States. Along side his favorite sibling, Juan; he was placed on the front line.
On a recon mission, Patton along with Juan, were taken by rioting Vietnamese prostitutes. They put him through many embarrassing situations involving handcuffs and bamboo poles. Somehow he managed to escape and went to seek his brother. However, Juan was already dead, and stuffed full of bamboo poles. Patton killed every villager with a small knife.
He left the war with four purple hearts, and the Medal of Honor. He is now living in Hollywood with his nine children and his two wives. He owns the Valley Forge Brewing Company.