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Charlie Brooker
Born Charlton Brooker
3 March 1971 (1971-03-03) (age 39)
Reading, Berkshire, England
Nationality British
Occupation Broadcaster/writer/columnist
Known for Screen Burn
TVGoHome
Nathan Barley
Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe
Dead Set
Newswipe with Charlie Brooker
You Have Been Watching
Charlie Brooker's Gameswipe
.Charlton "Charlie" Brooker (born 3 March 1971(1971-03-03) in Reading, Berkshire)[1] is a British journalist, comic writer and broadcaster.^ Charlie Brooker is not a journalist.
  • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

 ^ The Hamburglar 10-24-2004, 02:56 PM You know, I had read this article before and didn't realise that it was the Charlie Brooker.
  • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

 ^ Set The Video: Bromance, MTV, Sunday 29 March, 9pm » Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 .His style of humour is savage and profane, with surreal elements and a consistent satirical pessimism.^ His style of humour is savage and profane, with surreal elements and a consistent satirical pessimism.
  • Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.squidoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 .He presents TV shows Screenwipe, Gameswipe and Newswipe, writes review columns for The Guardian newspaper, and is one of four creative directors of comedy production company Zeppotron.^ I was presenting TV before I was writing about it.
  • Charlie Brooker: interview - Comedy - Time Out London 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.timeout.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ He appears in TV shows Screenwipe and Newswipe, writes review columns for The Guardian newspaper, and is one of four creative directors of comedy production company Zeppotron.
  • Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.squidoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Written by Charlie Brooker of Nathan Barley and BBC3's Screenwipe (also for his often viciously funny Guardian column) comes Dead Set.
  • Could we finally have a decent UK horror serial? - Dead Set - sffworld.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.sffworld.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 .His five-part horror drama Dead Set for E4 earned him a nomination for a BAFTA and he is also the host of the Channel 4 comedy panel show You Have Been Watching.^ His five-part horror drama Dead Set for E4 earned him a nomination for a BAFTA and he is also the host of the Channel 4 comedy panel show You Have Been Watching''.
  • Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.squidoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ TV Burp is just a comedy show that uses clips from other TV shows to make you laugh.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 Brooker won Columnist of the Year at the 2009 British Press Awards for his column,[2] and the Best Newcomer at the British Comedy Awards 2009.

Contents

Early life and education

Brooker first worked as a writer and cartoonist for Oink!, a comic produced in the late-1980s.[3]
Brooker attended the Polytechnic of Central London (now the University of Westminster)—studying for a BA in Media Studies—although he never graduated.[3]

Career

PC Zone

Brooker wrote for PC Zone magazine in the mid-1990s. Aside from games reviews, his output included the comic strip Cybertwats and a column entitled "Sick Notes", where Brooker would insult anyone who wrote in to the magazine and offered a £50 prize to the "best" letter.
In February 1998, one of Brooker's one-shot cartoons caused the magazine to be pulled from the shelves of many British newsagents. The cartoon was entitled "Helmut Werstler's Cruelty Zoo" and professed to be an advert for a theme park created by a Teutonic psychologist for children to take out their violent impulses on animals rather than humans. It was accompanied by photoshopped pictures of children smashing the skulls of monkeys with hammers, jumping on a badger with a pitchfork, and chainsawing an orang-utan, among other things. The original joke was supposed to be at the expense of the Tomb Raider games, known at the time for the number of animals killed, but the original title, "Lara Croft's Cruelty Zoo", was changed for copyright reasons.
In October 2008, Brooker and several other ex-writers were invited back to review a game for the 200th issue. Brooker reviewed Euro Truck Simulator.

SuperKaylo

A number of Brooker's artworks were available to the public on his website. This body of work is drawn both from the commissions of his various patrons, and began as a paper comic that was sold to customers at Brooker's former workplace CeX. In addition to its counter presence, Brooker sold issues to mail order customers when they called up to place orders for games.
One aspect of the SuperKaylo site was a series of recorded phone conversations, that had originally started from a commissioned featured for PC Zone on technical support phonelines. Brooker took things further than this half serious investigation, when in 1999 he called up the then editor of Edge magazine, Jason Brookes. Pretending to be an angry father, he phoned up enraged by an advert that had appeared in a previous issue for CeX, one that Brooker himself had written and drawn.

TVGoHome

From 1999 to 2003 he penned the satirical TVGoHome website, a regular series of mock TV schedules published in a format similar to that of the Radio Times, consisting of a combination of savage satire and surreal humour and featured in technology newsletter Need To Know. A print adaptation of the site was published by Fourth Estate in 2001. A TV sketch show based on the site was broadcast on UK digital station E4 the same year.

Newspaper columns

.Brooker began writing a TV review column entitled "Screen Burn" for The Guardian newspaper's Saturday entertainment supplement The Guide in 2000, a role he has continued in to the present day.^ Svelter 23-12-2007, 07:00 PM Screenwipe is a continuation of Charlie Brooker's popular column, Screen Burn, only in TV form.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Subject: Re: Post Your Charlie Brooker gossip here Posted By 'Martin Cropper' on Tue Aug 14 20:17:11 BST 2001: > His weekly "Screen Burn" column in the Grauniad Guide was written by someone else this week (who was even less funny then Brooker).

 ^ Dumb show Charlie Brooker Saturday October 23, 2004 The Guardian Heady times.
  • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

 From the autumn of 2005, he wrote a regular series of columns in The Guardian supplement "G2" on Fridays called "Supposing", in which he free-associated on a set of vague what-if themes. Since late October 2006 this column has been expanded into a full-page section on Mondays, including samples from TVGoHome and Ignopedia, an occasional series of pseudo-articles on topics mostly suggested by readers. The key theme behind Ignopedia was that, while Wikipedia is written and edited by thousands of users, Ignopedia would be written by a single sub-par person with little or no awareness of the facts.[4]
On 24 October, 2004, he wrote a column on George W. Bush and the forthcoming 2004 US Presidential Election[5] which concluded:
“ John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley, Jr. - where are you now that we need you? ”
The Guardian withdrew the article from its website and published and endorsed an apology by Brooker.[6] He has since commented about the remark in the column stating:
“ .I ended a Screen Burn column by recycling a very old tasteless joke (a variant of a graffiti I first saw during the Thatcher years), and within minutes half the internet seemed convinced The Guardian was officially calling for assassination.^ Svelter 23-12-2007, 07:00 PM Screenwipe is a continuation of Charlie Brooker's popular column, Screen Burn, only in TV form.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Jim Shelley's got Charlie Catchpole's old job at the Mirror now, and his first column was not funny in the slightest.

 ^ In the text of the retraction and brief apology, Guardian editors mention that, "[a]lthough flippant and tasteless, his closing comments were intended as an ironic joke, not as a call to action " An "ironic joke"...
  • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

 .My inbox overflowed with blood-curdling death threats, and it was all very unfunny indeed - a bit like recounting a rude joke at a dinner party, only to be told you hadn't recounted a joke at all, but molested the host's children, and suddenly everyone was punching you and you weren't going to get any pudding.^ Oh, so you go around levelling death threats at your elected officials all the time do you Tim?
  • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

 ^ My favorite bit was during the Cocks and She-cocks of advertising ever with the "O Face" and of course "Listen if you're not going to f*ck her, then I'm going to come over and f*ck you!"
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Perhaps my reply to "The Guardian" should be something like, "George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin - where are you now that we need you?"
  • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

 I've had better weekends.[7]		 ”

Television

.In 2000, Brooker was one of the writers of the Channel 4 show The Eleven O'Clock Show and a co-host (with Gia Milinovich) on BBC Knowledge's The Kit, a low-budget programme dedicated to gadgets and technology (1999-2000).^ The All New 11 O'Clock Show Posted Mon Oct 2 23:28:40 BST 2000 .

 .In 2001, he was one of several writers on Channel 4's controversial Brass Eye special on the subject of paedophilia.^ Subject: Re: cock taxidermist Posted By 'CONAN DOYLES HAIRDRESSER' on Wed Aug 15 08:53:29 BST 2001: > the best tv crit column is the one in private eye.

 ^ Subject: Re: Post Your Charlie Brooker gossip here Posted By 'ollie' on Wed Aug 15 00:45:54 BST 2001: the best tv crit column is the one in private eye.
.Together with Brass Eye's Chris Morris, Brooker co-wrote the sitcom Nathan Barley, based on a character from one of TVGoHome's fictional programmes.^ I heard that he and Chris Morris were going to collaborate on a Nathan Barley sitcom.
  • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

 ^ Beef Magic 23-12-2007, 09:45 AM When you consider Brooker's past - Producing work to have magazine's pulled off selves, as well as creating the character Nathan Barley (I know it was written with Chris Morris, you need to go back to TV Go Home days motherfucker).
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 The show was broadcast in 2005 and focused on the lives of a group of London media 'trendies'. The same year, he was also on the writing team of the Channel 4 sketch show Spoons, produced by Zeppotron.
.In 2006 Brooker began writing and presenting his signature television series Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe on BBC Four, a TV review programme in a similar style to his Screen Burn columns in The Guardian.^ Svelter 23-12-2007, 07:00 PM Screenwipe is a continuation of Charlie Brooker's popular column, Screen Burn, only in TV form.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Norbington 19-11-2008, 04:01 PM Thank the Gods for Charlie Brooker and his rational and hilarious view on the world of TV. I missed him.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Dumb show Charlie Brooker Saturday October 23, 2004 The Guardian Heady times.
  • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

 .After an initial pilot series of three editions in April of that year, the programme returned in the autumn for a second run of four episodes plus Christmas and Review of the Year specials in December 2006. A third series followed in February 2007 with a fourth broadcast in September 2007, followed by a Review of the Year in December 2007. The fifth series started in November 2008 and was followed by another Review of the Year special.^ The start of the new series was over double the channel's slot average for the year so far of 113,000 (0.81%).
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ Thomp 22-12-2007, 03:51 PM 2007 Christmas Special for y'all.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ GorillaBearBear 24-10-2007, 03:10 PM Just found out last night's was the last episode of this series.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 This series was also the first to be given a primetime repeat on terrestrial television (BBC 2), in January 2009.
Screenwipe's format mostly consists of two elements. .The first is the playing of clips from other television shows - both mainstream and obscure - interspersed with shots of Brooker, sitting in his living room,[8] delivering witty critiques on them.^ TV Burp is just a comedy show that uses clips from other TV shows to make you laugh.
  • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 The second is where Brooker explains, again with a slice of barbed humour, the way in which a particular area of the television industry operates. Also occasionally present are animations by David Firth and guest contributions, which have included the poetry of Tim Key, and segments in which a guest explains their fascination with a certain television show or genre.
Brooker has regularly experimented with Screenwipe, with some editions focusing on a specific theme. .These themes have included American television, TV news, advertising and children's programmes.^ In this new show, we'll see "a brilliant hybrid of comedy quiz show and TV review programme," said the Zeppotron managing director, Annabel Jones.
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 .(The last of these involved a segment where Brooker joined the cast of Toonattik for one week, playing the character of "Angry News Guy".) Probably the most radical departure from the norm came with an episode focused on scriptwriting, which saw several of British television's most prominent writers interviewed by Brooker.^ Brooker's probably hiding somewhere after being named and shamed by the News of the world.
As per the development of his career with The Guardian, a similar show called Newswipe, focusing on current affairs reportage by the international news media, began on BBC4 on the 25th of March 2009. A second series began on 19 January 2010. He has also written and presented the one off special Gameswipe which focused on video games and aired on BBC4 on the 29th of September 2009
.Brooker has appeared on three episodes and one webisode of the popular BBC current affairs news quiz Have I Got News for You.^ We're three episodes into News Wipe with Charlie Brooker (BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm) and, if we're waiting for it to hit stride, like Mr Brooker suggested, then I'm going to have to prepare myself.
  • TV Scoop: TV Review: News Wipe with Charlie Brooker, BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: General]

 ^ You see, News Wipe is fast becoming Another Charlie Brooker Classic.
  • TV Scoop: TV Review: News Wipe with Charlie Brooker, BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: General]

 ^ Each episode takes a skewed look at current affairs...
  • TV Scoop: TV Review: News Wipe with Charlie Brooker, BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: General]

 .Brooker also appeared on an episode of the Channel 4 panel show 8 Out of 10 Cats, The Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2009, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, and in December 2006 reviewed two games written by the presenters of VideoGaiden, on their show.^ Set The Video: Bromance, MTV, Sunday 29 March, 9pm » Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 He also made a brief appearance in the third and final instalment of the documentary series Games Britannia, discussing the rise and popularity of computer games.
.Charlie Brooker wrote for the BBC Three sketch show Rush Hour.^ We're three episodes into News Wipe with Charlie Brooker (BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm) and, if we're waiting for it to hit stride, like Mr Brooker suggested, then I'm going to have to prepare myself.
  • TV Scoop: TV Review: News Wipe with Charlie Brooker, BBC Four, Wednesday, 8 April, 10.30pm 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: General]

 ^ Set The Video: Bromance, MTV, Sunday 29 March, 9pm » Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.On 30 January 2009, Brooker recorded a pilot for a Channel 4 panel show entitled You Have Been Watching.^ Set The Video: Bromance, MTV, Sunday 29 March, 9pm » Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 ^ TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4...
  • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

 The show featured guests discussing television, similar to Screenwipe but with contributing guests. For the pilot episode the guests were David Mitchell, Jamelia, Rufus Hound and Terry Christian.[9] On Thursday 26 March 2009 You Have Been Watching was picked up by Channel 4 for a first season.[10] It started airing on Tuesday 7 July 2009 for an eight episode run.[11]

Dead Set

Main article: Dead Set
Brooker wrote Dead Set, a five part zombie horror thriller for E4 set in the Big Brother house.[12] The show was broadcast in October 2008 to coincide with Halloween and was repeated on Channel 4 in January 2009 to coincide with Celebrity Big Brother, and again for Halloween later that year.[13] It was produced by Zeppotron, which also produced Screenwipe.
Brooker told MediaGuardian.co.uk it comprised a "mixture of known and less well known faces" and "Dead Set is very different to anything I've done before, and I hope the end result will surprise, entertain and appall people in equal measure." He added that he has long been a fan of horror films and that his new series "could not be described as a comedy". "I couldn't really describe what it is but it will probably surprise people," Brooker said, adding that he plans to "continue as normal" with his print journalism.

Awards

Brooker won Columnist of the Year at the 2009 British Press Awards for his Guardian column, where the judges described Brooker as "edgy, entertaining and wonderfully surreal, he has the explosive writing skills that can turn your thinking upside down. A definite destination read and a jewel of a column. Acerbic, nasty, spiteful, yet clearly in love with every subject he writes about at the same time. Must read stuff."[2] He also won the Best Newcomer at the British Comedy Awards 2009.

Publications

  • TV Go Home, 2001 (ISBN 1-84115-675-2)
  • Unnovations, 2002 (ISBN 1-84115-730-9)
  • Screen Burn, 2004 (ISBN 0-571-22755-4)
  • Dawn of the Dumb: Dispatches from the Idiotic Frontline, 2007 (ISBN 9780571238415)
  • The Hell of it All, Charlie Brooker, 2009 (ISBN 9780571229574) [14]

References

  1. ^ GRO Register of Births: MAR 1971 6a 275 READING, mmn = Povell
  2. ^ a b "British Press Awards 2009: The full list of winners". Press Gazette. 1 April 2009. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/story.asp?storycode=43456. Retrieved 16 January 2010. 
  3. ^ a b "Profile: Charlie Brooker". RTS Futures. Royal Television Society. 26 September 2007. http://www.rtsfutures.org.uk/show_news_stories/25. Retrieved 16 March 2010. 
  4. ^ Logged in as click here to log out (2006-10-30). "Brooker's 30 October 2006 column, featuring Ignopedia and TVGoHome". Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1934882,00.html. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  5. ^ "Full text of deleted article". Antinomian.com. 2004-10-23. http://www.antinomian.com/dumb_show.html. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  6. ^ Close. "Apology for Brooker's 24 October 2004 Screen Burn column". Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/tvradio/story/0,14676,1335307,00.html. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  7. ^ "Brooker's 17 February 2007 column". Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguide/columnists/story/0,,2013858,00.html. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  8. ^ "What Screen / News Wipe looks like from my perspective. on Twitpic". Twitpic.com. http://twitpic.com/28dqy. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  9. ^ "You Have Been Watching - Panel Show - British Comedy Guide". Comedy.org.uk. http://www.comedy.org.uk/guide/pilots/you_have_been_watching/. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  10. ^ "Television - News - Charlie Brooker for new comedy series". Digital Spy. 2009-03-26. http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/a150748/charlie-brooker-for-new-comedy-series.html. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  11. ^ "You Have Been Watching - Panel Show - British Comedy Guide". Comedy.org.uk. http://www.comedy.org.uk/guide/tv/you_have_been_watching/. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  12. ^ Logged in as click here to log out. "Charlie Brooker's E4 zombie thriller to be set inside the Big Brother house". Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/aug/21/television.television1. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  13. ^ "Brooker to write E4 horror series". BBC News. 2008-04-14. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7346204.stm. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 
  14. ^ Brooker, Charlie (2005-12-15). "The Hell of it All by Charlie Brooker (2009)". Waterstones.com. http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/displayProductDetails.do?sku=6226287. Retrieved 2010-01-16. 

External links

.

Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

.Charlton "Charlie" Brooker (born 3 March 1971) is a satirist, TV critic, TV presenter and columnist for the UK's Guardian newspaper.^ Dead Set is written by Charlie Brooker , who is known for his writing in the Guardian and his BBC Four series Charlie Brooker 's Screen Wipe.
  • Zombies Charlie Brooker | Metro.co.uk 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC search.metro.co.uk [Source type: General]

 ^ Charlie Brooker is a satirical comedy writer (responsible for, among other things, the superb www.tvgohome.com) and this article appeared in the Guardian's weekend magazine as a humour/opinion piece, not in the newspaper.
  • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

 ^ March 9, 2009, 01:48 PM big charlie brooker fan wish his show was back on http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/mar/09/charlie-brooker These usually get me through dreary Mondays.
  • TV Go Home/Charlie Brooker [Archive] - Morrissey-solo Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forums.morrissey-solo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Contents

Sourced

Screenwipe

.
  • Hello, I'm Charlie Brooker and you're watching Screenwipe, a programme all about television.^ The power of recommendation is all about you.
    • Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.squidoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Be the first to review Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe .
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe at TV.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Tags: attery squash charlie brooker you have been watching screenwipe dead set From: spraynetdotcodotuk Views: Duration: 03:05 Category: Music Charlie Brooker on My Sweet 16 Fortunately for whining snotface, the party goes with a bang: she enters looking every inch the ...
    • Xfep Videos - best blogging related videos on the web 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC xfep.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     .
    • Introductory message on every episode of Screenwipe, usually said in an odd way (for example, with Brooker slapping himself as he says it).
  • Well, babies are notoriously foul-mouthed.^ This will change as of tomorrow when I will have finished my exams for a month =D! Spitty, some dude has uploaded every episode of Screenwipe on youtube - they are really, really worth watching.
    • [UK TV] Charlie Brooker's Gameswipe? [Archive] - Thunderbolt Forum 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.thunderboltgames.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Some dude on youtube has uploaded every episode of Screenwipe and Brooker said it's probably the best place to go for his stuff as their aren't any dvd's etc.
    • [UK TV] Charlie Brooker's Gameswipe? [Archive] - Thunderbolt Forum 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.thunderboltgames.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     [shot of Charlie pointing at a doll] This one just called Derek a prick!
    • Screenwipe S2E2
    • On Derek Ogilvy, the "Baby Mind Reader", apparently reading a baby's mind and finding it is swearing
  • Oh good, this is hardly ever on.
    • Screenwipe S2E1
    • While watching a Frosties advert, famous for being shown almost constantly
  • While aspirational adverts serve a purpose, i.e. selling you stuff, aspirational programming doesn't. It just feeds the void, the sense of lack, the gulf between them and you. .It stokes it up and up and up like a low self-esteem engine until finally where can you turn for a solution...^ It's surprisingly hard to cast a zombie because you get people trying to be scary - a bit like Alan Partridge when he dresses up as a zombie.
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     [pointing to a homeless alcoholic (really an actor)] where d'ya think?...The solution being change yourself. Yeah! Toss your wardrobe out, wear the same uniform as the rest of us! .Or look how smouldering and happy Nigella is, maybe cookery'll save you.^ He's the sort of person you could imagine pushing over and laughing as he yells about how he'll tell his mum on you.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Looking forward to next week - I'll pm ya a download if you like?
    • Zombie Fans [Archive] - Beastie Boys Message Board 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.beastieboys.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     Or saw your face off and get it remade properly! Yeah, maybe that'll help, maybe then you'll fit in! Surely it's a rum state of affairs when TV actively encourages you to hack yourself apart in the name of self-worth! .I mean, hacking up a stranger, that I can understand, but this is just sick!"
  • Now, let's get something straight, ok, I love Doctor Who.^ Guttenberg Fan Club 10-24-2004, 09:18 PM Another sick bastard who just didn't get it - Jonathan Swift.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ I have just seen his Postgate bit and although it's a lovely reminiscence from someone who was brought up on Postgate programmes I don't think it's much different to what others think and feel.

     It somehow bypasses the cynical, nasty, gnarled bit of my brain completely, and plugs straight into my gurgling overgrown child. I love the fact that it's a big populist drama driven by ideas. .Plus, it scares kids shitless, and I hate kids, so the longer they spend cowering in terror, the better.
  • What is the point of getting an orchestra to record a great version of the Doctor Who theme tune, and then getting someone in to jabber all over the top of it?^ They know that Kerry will never, ever, ever wage the kind of serious war against terrorism that the hated cowboy Bush is doing.
    • calling all assassins 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC greg-strange.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ They'll practically tune in and then sit with their back turned to the set just to underline how much they hate it.
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Someone who watches all the TV soaps, defected to the daily Mail, and sent people e-mails asking for title suggestions for a book he's writing, presumably because he is used to getting his creative opinions and ideas from the press releases, isn't better than Brooker.

     .Talk about putting the cunt into continuity!^ I further see no reason why he should put up false limitations on what he writes or talks about.
    • UK - Genius of Darwin - Origins of Life - Beliefnet Community 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC community.beliefnet.com [Source type: General]
    • On the revived series of Doctor Who
  • Balls to aspiration, it's a tosser's mirage.
    • Screenwipe S2E1
    • Discussing "aspirational" programming and its ill effects
  • As an embittered cynic, I should be programmed to vomit all over the screen at the mere sight of this, but instead, I find it strangely moving. .You see, as I stare into their happy smiling faces filled with naive joie de vivre, I know they're just blissfully unaware of the crushing despair that awaits them as they venture into adulthood.^ Even when you're aware of how misleading edits can be, sometimes they get you with stuff you just wouldn't think question .
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe - Reality TV Editing videos - by Video Site 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.dvbs.eu.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ I don't remember seeing Bagpuss when I was little, but I recognise the words you've just posted, I know what the mice sounded like, I'm picturing Emily as a series of black and white photos.

     ^ Socket Dec 19 2008, 04:20 PM Screen Burn should be compulsory viewing before the purchase of a television, just so people know what they're actually getting in to.

     The myriad disappointments, the yawning chasms of pain, the glow gnawing descent into physical decay, the sheer unrelenting horror of it all. .
    • Screenwipe S3E4
    • Discussing the High School Musical series
  • Fortunately for whining snotface, the party goes with a bang: she enters looking every inch the cosseted flesh-waste she is, and her and her irritating scumbag friends party on into the night, dancing, shrieking, acting like pillocks, and generally making you feel like getting down on your knees and praying for a nuclear holocaust.^ Do you like discussing football?
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ Oh, and Iannucci's ' Time Trumpet ' is being sliced into favoured clips by some viewers too - I like the Jamie Cullum sketch, but come back at look for last nights ' Tesco War ' section, that was a very clever sketch.
    • Twitch - Watch Charlie Brooker... 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC twitchfilm.net [Source type: General]

     ^ With any luck it'll shock your thick cunt boring fucking football-liking fucking friends into discussing something more pressing than football for once -- they could talk about calling an ambulance, say, or maybe just hold an impormptu debate about whether the eye you just pushed out of your head was still able to send visual signals to your brain as it oozed down your cheek.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     .
  • The fact is that all men in advertising these days are swaggering blokey cocks.
  • [Advert voiceover] Who said you can't lose weight and enjoy yourself?^ You maggot, cock taxidermist > Just the sort of person who uses words like 'zeitgeist', you mean?

     ^ It's a similar thing to playing video games - you get drawn in and enjoy yourself, and then when it's over, you feel like you've wasted a lot of time.
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ It is a shame that the fact that you all think this has driven me to seek wider attentions that i have been.
    .[Brooker] I don't know, Bobby Sands?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, which is a pity because this week the National Association of Beholders wrote to tell me that I've got a face like a rucksack full of dented bells.^ One of the things I've always liked about Brooker is that he's managed to lie somewhere between the worlds of telly and the press and pour equal bile on each.
    • TV Scoop: Charlie Brooker gets new show on Channel 4... and I'm confused. 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tvscoop.tv [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ And here's a funny review if you can't watch it: Charlie Brooker's screen burn Science is like a good friend: sometimes it tells you things you don't want to hear '....Science is like a good friend: sometimes it tells you things you don't want to hear.
    • UK - Genius of Darwin - Origins of Life - Beliefnet Community 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC community.beliefnet.com [Source type: General]

     ^ But if the likeable Brooker does fall ill, he might be the one to tell us about it.
    • Anorak News » Blog Archive » Celebrity Norovirus With Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.anorak.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Screenwipe S4E1

Guardian columns

  • ...The result is the most nauseating display of artificial camaraderie since the horrific Doritos "Friendchips" TV campaign (which caused 50,000 people to kill themselves in 2003, or should have done).[1] .
    • The Guardian.co.uk,28 August 2009
    • On Microsoft's Windows 7 Launch Party ad campaign
  • Man the lifeboats.^ Alastair wrote at 1:01pm on August 5th, 2009 Charlie is No.5 in the list of Britain's top tech celebs: www.pcpro.co.uk/links/top4 0celebs .
    • If Charlie Brooker says it, It's true! | Facebook 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.facebook.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Wall | Facebook 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.facebook.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Listings for BBC 4 on Friday, August 28 2009 This week's UK TV & radio .
    • Listings for BBC 4 on Friday, August 28 2009 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.bleb.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Dean wrote at 5:57am on August 4th, 2009 This man has the best turn of phrase ever!
    • If Charlie Brooker says it, It's true! | Facebook 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.facebook.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Wall | Facebook 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.facebook.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     The idiots are winning.
  • I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. .I hate people who use Macs.^ You get people who define themselves by how much they hate shows like Big Brother.
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     .I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did.^ Even when you're aware of how misleading edits can be, sometimes they get you with stuff you just wouldn't think question .
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe - Reality TV Editing videos - by Video Site 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.dvbs.eu.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Don't suppose anyone here knows who did that instrumental version of Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" during the Mad Men bit?
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Charlie Brooker: Sometimes I think the whole of humankind can be separated into two types: those who pay attention to song lyrics, and those who don't Sometimes I think the whole of humankind can be separated into two types: those who pay attention to song lyrics, and those who don't.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screen Burn 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.buzzle.com [Source type: General]

     .Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.
  • If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother.^ Just about the only people who aren't aware of it, initially at least, are a bunch of contestants in a fictional series of Big Brother.
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Because Dead Set is a programme with a programme in it, that might throw people who think 'Oh, what is he trying to say?'
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ You maggot, cock taxidermist > Just the sort of person who uses words like 'zeitgeist', you mean?

     You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. .
  • When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells.^ If people are expecting to hear my voice in it, they’ll hear it coming out of [ producer ] Patrick’s mouth - as the series goes on, he gets more florid speeches.
    • Charlie Brooker talks to us about Dead Set - Den of Geek 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.denofgeek.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ I am bored by my public now - they all hate me, i am going into retirement .

     .
    • The Guardian, 4 December 2006, When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells [3]
  • It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face.
  • Don't accuse anyone with the temerity to question your sad supernatural fantasies of having a 'closed mind' or being 'blind to possibilities'. A closed mind asks no questions, unthinkingly accepting that which it wants to believe.^ If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ Jul 6, 2009 - superb, it does amaze me how people can sit there rotting away in front of a TV having no idea how they are being manipulated.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe - Reality TV Editing videos - by Video Site 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.dvbs.eu.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Lots of little zombie movie homages - the producer of the show saying that one of the contestents had a face like a Manchester Morgue and another contestent doing the old "their coming to get you Barbera" line.
    • Could we finally have a decent UK horror serial? - Dead Set - sffworld.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.sffworld.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     The blindness is all yours."[4] .
    • The Guardian, 4 December 2006, When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells [5]
  • You can't press a button to make Phil Mitchell jump over a turtle and land on a cloud (unless you've recently ingested a load of military-grade hallucinogens, in which case you can also make him climb inside his own face and start whistling colours).^ Comments are there for two reasons - they help me to see what changes you are making and they help you to see the same when you check the submissions tab in your profile.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe at TV.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ In fact, I think the rule is, the ruder you've been about someone in print, the nicer they turn out to be, and the bigger an arsehole you feel for having been unpleasant about them.
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ You've come across as more of a complete moron in these two posts than you ever have before, which is a feat in itself.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     .
  • If you're hell-bent on making your bank look and sound like a simpleton, a desk labelled Travel Money is still a bit too formal.^ Jake is a selfish, dot-eyed shouting machine hell bent on sabotaging whatever scraps of tranquillity remain in this pitiful world, and every right-thinking person within earshot despises him with a coal-black intensity that would make your head spin like a centrifuge if you ever got wind of it.
    • Supposing we had annoying child distress flares | The Guardian | guardian.co.uk 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.guardian.co.uk [Source type: News]

     ^ Comments are there for two reasons - they help me to see what changes you are making and they help you to see the same when you check the submissions tab in your profile.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe at TV.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ And then really scrape around the back of the socket with your thumbnail?
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     Why not call it Oooh! Look at the Funny Foreign Banknotes instead? And accompany it with a doodle of a French onion-seller riding a bike, with a little black beret on his head and a baguette up his arse and a speech bubble saying, "Zut Alors! Here is where you gettez les Francs!"
    • The Guardian, 6 November 2006, The banks are coming over all chummy. It's nauseating [7]
    • On Barclays' rebranding in an attempt to make themselves appear less stuffy
  • If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.
    • The Guardian, 25 August 2006, Supposing... .It's time to smother romance in its sleep [8]
  • On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses.^ Here is the full context: On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses.
    • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

     ^ On November 2, the entire civilised world will be praying, praying Bush loses.
    • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     .And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all.^ And Sod's law dictates he'll probably win, thereby disproving the existence of God once and for all.
    • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]

     .The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us.^ The world will endure four more years of idiocy, arrogance and unwarranted bloodshed, with no benevolent deity to watch over and save us.
    • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     .John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?^ John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr - where are you now that we need you?
    • UK's Guardian Ragazine Reporter "Jokes" On Possible Need For Bush Assassination - Blogcritics Politics 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC blogcritics.org [Source type: General]
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ PDA View Full Version : Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you?
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you?
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

Screen Burn

  • 2007 is going to be the best year ever made. All wars will end. We'll cure cancer and Aids - twice. In February it'll rain banknotes for a week. In July, rabbits will learn to talk. .Better still, they'll tell jokes - hilarious jokes, jokes you don't need to be a rabbit to appreciate, jokes offering a fresh, rabbity perspective on human foibles, making us unite as one, laugh at ourselves and frig each other off for the sheer joyous hell of it.^ The fact you think everyone in "Englang" got together and decided this was hilarious suggests you don't even know the basic definition of "satire", let alone the fucked up one.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ If you don't ask the questions, you'll never know the truth.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ TV Burp is just a comedy show that uses clips from other TV shows to make you laugh.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     In December, we'll make contact with a benevolent race of aliens who shit chocolate and piss lemonade.
  • Right now, the theme is "Sex In The 80s", which must've been an exceptionally hard sell round Channel 4 towers. Mullets! Tits! Duran Duran! More tits! Bigger mullets! Ha ha ha! .All you need is a few seconds of voiceover babble about "changing attitudes" and "social upheaval" laid over the top and hey presto: you've justified everything.^ The power of recommendation is all about you.
    • Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.squidoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Tom_E - you've got a stalker - deny everything .
    • Charlie Brooker – Newswipe - DesignersTalk 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.designerstalk.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ You're assuming that 'being discovered' is all people care about.

     It's not just a load of tit shots - it's a sociological investigation. With tit shots.
  • I won't get over that in a hurry: my least favourite atrophied Hazel McWitch lookalike in the world, singing "I just want to make love to you", right there on primetime telly.^ Charlie Brigden 10-24-2004, 12:49 PM Belittle all you want if it makes you feel any better.
    • Tolerance: Booth, Oswald, Hinckley where are you when we need you? [Archive] - CHUD Forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC chud.com [Source type: Original source]

     ^ Comments are there for two reasons - they help me to see what changes you are making and they help you to see the same when you check the submissions tab in your profile.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe at TV.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ TV Burp is just a comedy show that uses clips from other TV shows to make you laugh.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     .She has to be the only person on Earth who can take a lyric like that and make it seem like a blood-curdling threat without changing any of the words.^ You maggot, cock taxidermist > Just the sort of person who uses words like 'zeitgeist', you mean?

     ^ Frankly, when you've got the likes of Simon Munnery complaining 'cos he only gets 20-odd people at his Edinburgh show then it seems obvious that more people should be taking their comedy online.
  • A lot of people think right-wingers aren't capable of being amusing at all.^ I think she'll surprise a lot of people.
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ You're assuming that 'being discovered' is all people care about.

     ^ Subject: Re: Post Your Charlie Brooker gossip here Posted By 'Anonymous' on Fri Aug 17 19:37:49 BST 2001: > You're assuming that 'being discovered' is all people care about.

     Not true. Mussolini looked hilarious swinging from that lamppost. .
  • Maybe you've put your faith in spiritual claptrap because our random, narrative-free universe terrifies you.^ Beef Magic 20-12-2007, 04:19 AM Charlie Brooker is the only media practitioner worth listening to these days if you are part of our generation.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness.
    • UK - Genius of Darwin - Origins of Life - Beliefnet Community 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC community.beliefnet.com [Source type: General]

     But that's no solution. If you want comforting, suck your thumb. Buy a pillow. Don't make up a load of floaty blah about energy or destiny. This is the real world, stupid. We should be solving problems, not sticking our fingers in our ears and singing about fairies. .
    • "Screen Burn", The Guardian, 11 August 2007.^ Svelter 23-12-2007, 07:00 PM Screenwipe is a continuation of Charlie Brooker's popular column, Screen Burn, only in TV form.
      • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

       .URL accessed on 2007-08-19.
  • You could grind a dog's head and a shoe together into a paste and spoon-feed it to me, and I'd probably think it was chicken liver pate, provided I kept my eyes closed, and provided you plucked all the dog hair out beforehand, and provided you'd managed to find a pestle and mortar big enough to mash it all up in, and provided - look, it wouldn't be worth it.^ Yeah, I need to get out with my dog.
    • Riverside Rambles » Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.silphium.net [Source type: General]

     ^ Beef Magic 20-12-2007, 04:19 AM Charlie Brooker is the only media practitioner worth listening to these days if you are part of our generation.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ If you poured your carefully worked out invective into your own comedy website, like Brooker did, rather than wasting it on pastings to this board, perhaps you'd get discovered too.

     I'm just saying I can't taste anything. .There's no need to get carried away.^ There is no need to resubmit your comment.
    • Riverside Rambles » Charlie Brooker 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.silphium.net [Source type: General]

     What's the matter with you? You're an idiot. .
    • On his lack of tastebuds due to a bad cold.
    • "Screen Burn", The Guardian, 20 October 2007.^ Svelter 23-12-2007, 07:00 PM Screenwipe is a continuation of Charlie Brooker's popular column, Screen Burn, only in TV form.
      • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

       ^ I'll give him a chance, due to Screen Burn and excellent Soap Heads, but it's not looking good.

       URL accessed on 2008-07-30.
  • He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers. .

Big Brother

  • When we look at Big Brother, do we grasp what it means to be alive in the early part of the 21st century? No. It's a gaudy circus act in which apes get goaded with sticks while the public throw rocks at them. .As the world floats ever closer to a third world war, TV shows like Big Brother are essentially little more than brightly-coloured, lightbulb-studded arrows, pointing away from the problem.
  • Anyway, Big Brother 7: that was that.^ Every defensive comment you make simply proves my point a little more.

     ^ Because TV is becoming more ridiculous than any spoof could be?
    • Charlie Brooker: interview - Comedy - Time Out London 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.timeout.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Charlie Brooker interview - E4.com - dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie Advertisement E4.com - Home Home TV shows Videos Games Do it & win WTF Search .
    • Charlie Brooker interview- E4.com- dead set, deadset, charlie brooker, big brother, horror, zombie 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.e4.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     .Big Brother 8 is scheduled to take place in the glowing centre of an irradiated war-torn wasteland formerly known as Earth.^ It felt like the Big Brother house was a good place to set it.
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     .See you there.^ Comments are there for two reasons - they help me to see what changes you are making and they help you to see the same when you check the submissions tab in your profile.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe at TV.com 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The BB house works as a kind of twat amplifier, you see. .Once harnessed within, someone who in normal life would merely strike me as a bit of a git quickly swells in negative stature, eventually coming to symbolise everything I hate about our cruel and godless universe.^ I thought the episode was great by the way although it would have been nice if it was a bit longer seeing as there was so much to talk about.
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ As someone who's critical about a lot of TV, are you worried about the reaction you might get when Dead Set goes out?
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Can SOMEONE explain why they hate Charlie Brooker so much, once and for all, properly, without resorting to insults straightaway.

     .
  • In many ways, Big Brother is the present day equivalent of a 1980s Club 18-30 Holiday - flirting, sunbathing, silly little organised games, and lots of people you'd like to remove from the genepool with a cricket bat.^ I don't like it when people compare the two (I'm not getting at you edderf just more of a general point about comparing people!
    • Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe [Archive] - weebls-stuff forums 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC forum.weebls-stuff.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ If you've ever wondered what a zombie outbreak in the Big Brother house would be like, then Charlie Brooker's Dead Set is the programme to satisfy that particular curiosity.
    • Television - Interview - Charlie Brooker ('Dead Set') - Digital Spy 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     ^ Our mission is to help people like you find, and walk, a spiritual path that will bring comfort, hope, clarity, strength, and happiness.
    • UK - Genius of Darwin - Origins of Life - Beliefnet Community 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC community.beliefnet.com [Source type: General]
  • A man so slow he probably has to whistle before he goes to the toilet so that he knows which end to shit through.
    • On Jack Tweed, Jade Goody's then-boyfriend from series 3 of Screenwipe, while reviewing Celebrity Big Brother 2007

You Have Been Watching

  • People comment that Ronnie Biggs is the new Robin Hood. You remember Robin Hood? He gave a train driver brain damage then pissed off to Brazil.

Unsourced

  • The upper classes really shouldn't open their mouths on television. .Whatever it is they're saying, all your brain actually hears is "Tra la la, I live in a bubble, tra la la, murder a fox, tra la la, Conde Nast Traveller, tra la la, Kensington High Street, tra la la."^ I have to imagine that they’re not there, although they clearly are because I can hear them.
    • Charlie Brooker: interview - Comedy - Time Out London 11 September 2009 21:021 UTC www.timeout.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

     They should know their place and keep quiet.

External links

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:
  1. ↑ Microsoft's grinning robots or the Brotherhood of the Mac. Which is worse?.

Citable sentences

Up to date as of December 12, 2010

Here are sentences from other pages on Charlie Brooker, which are similar to those in the above article.








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