Christopher Ruggles Hamilton (December 14, 1982 - Present) is currently a computer systems engineer for EMC. In May of 2005 Hamilton, largely do to a mathmatical error, graduated from the University of Massachusetts Amherst with a BS in Computer Systems Engineering. This feat is almost, but not quite equal to Hamilton's graduation from Reading Memorial High School in 2001. Hamilton is widely remembered for his tenure at RMHS because his poor attitude and lack of people skills drove physics teacher Ms. Withie to maddness, cumlinating in her leaving the Reading school system after many years of service.

The Early Years

While little is known about Hamilton's youth it is widely accepted that he is the product of Alan Hamilton and Priscilla White. Some believe his first word to have been "bitches," a strange first word that can be credited to his father's obbession with gangster rap. Upon entering kindergarden, Hamilton encountered for the first time Kelley Sims, who would late date his high school friend Ben Rubin. Years later, when discussing with his mother Rubin's relationship with Sims she famously said, "Kelley Sims? Isn't that girl that you thought was stupid in kindergarden?" This is the only know example of Hamiltons good judgement.

Middle School

This period of time is widely acknowledged as the height of Hamilton's popularity. During this time Hamiltons perchant for sweaters tied around his neck and earings made him very popular among his peers. Hours were spent each night, diligently talking on the phone with Carly LaConte discussing how to consolidate this power. A steady stream of girlfriends followed, creating the most active period of dating and in Hamilton life. Sadly, Hamilton's popularity was short lived as Peter Croft, a nerd Hamilton had taken pity on, began to gain in popularity, eventually siphoning away Hamilton's mojo and using it to establish himself as an authority among Hamilton's peers as he entered high school.

High School

Having fallen victim to Croft's ploy, Hamilton found himself in deep depression during the first years of high school with only his life long friend Matt Chasse to keep him company. He soon found solace in coffee, to which he quickly became addicted, requiring five to ten cups of coffee a day to survive. This would later give way to a fierce heroin addiction that he was only able to overcome because of the love that Chasse gave him. Eventually Hamilton would meet Ben Rubin and slowly connect to other people through him. Most notably of these intial contacts was Takuji Nakano.

Nakano, then a bowl-hair-cut-sporting shadow of his present self was known for his extroverted nature and complete lack of common sense. This explosive combination would offen launch Hamilton into unpredictible situations and infuriate his mother. One such occasion may or may not involve illgeally obtained fireworks and too much free time on Nakano's Hands.

<font size=2><b>Temptation and Desire</b><p>
Whilst in the midst of high school Hamilton found himself in the grip of yet another addiction. Chronic masturbation left Hamilton with more than just hairy knuckles; A trail of destruction was left in his wake. Unable to talk to women, Hamilton resorted to endless amounts of pornography, often spending all of the money he had saved from delivering newspapers on second hand magazines bought from a strange but polite old man who vactioned in a tent near the MBTA depot in Reading, MA. The advent of internet pornograhy save Hamiton from poverty but, leave him morally bankrupt.
<p>However, unbeknownst to many his unseemly habit spawned the catch phrase "Hamming it" used by countless people across the globe to describe the act of self love that is masturbation. This will likely be Hamilton's only significant contribution to society.

<p><font size=2><b>Promenade of Broken Dreams</b><p>

In a whirlwind of fury the high school years passed, and Hamilton found himself in a dilly of a pickle as prom approached. Dateless, and unable to afford an attractive, yet not too trashy dress for his hand, Hamilton approached Erin Engelson with an offer. Engelson accepted his invitation, jumping at the chance to attend the event as a junior. However, she would soon find that while the other junior girls envied her postion, the insufferable torment of a date with early era Hamilton may have not been worth the trouble. Hamilton, not being a smooth talker, social, interesting or a good dancer proved to be a boorish date. No further dates were had and the two never spoke again. This event is significant, however, in that it is the first of increasingly long trail of younger women that Hamilton continues to pursue to this day.
<p>

College

Hamilton applied to and was accepted to the University of Massachusetts' College of Engineering in the Spring of 2001. This event lead to a dramatic drop of in his high school which by the fourth quarter of his senior year had plummeted to an astonishing 0.6 GPA. Assigned to live in Dickinson Hall, Hamilton quickly met the only friends he would gain during his time at the University. Domenic Sung, Kevin Sullivan, Emily Bellegarde and Fiona Schuette would play a pivitol role in his development. However, his growth as a college party animal was stunted when in December of that year he begin dating Cara Anne Ball.

<p><font size=2><b>The Cara Anne Ball Era</b><p>
<i>This article has not yet been categorized. It may be relative to an existing category but has not yet been assigned to one. You can help expand it by clicking the Edit tab at the top of the page.</i>

<p><font size=2><b>An independent, boozed up Hamilton Emerges</b><p>
The most marked change in Hamilton that result from the ending of his three year relationship with Ball was his increased desire to participate in social activities. Indeed, in the remaining months of his college career post-break-up, Hamilton was determined to squeeze in as much "college life" as possible. This of course meant "power hours" using Cobra brand 40s and numerous trips to Amherst's crowded bar scene. Additionally, this meant eating out every night for three months, an act which quickly ate away at the savings of Hamilton and his cohorts causing some into years of credit card debt.

References

Takuji Nakano, oochiguchi.com<p>Mike Di Natale, citizenlowell.net

External Links

<i>This article has not yet been categorized. It may be relative to an existing category but has not yet been assigned to one. You can help expand it by clicking the Edit tab at the top of the page.</i>