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Brisbane Catholic Church League Soccer Organisation is the realisation of a dream, to give the Catholic youth of Brisbane, Australia, a place to play and learn. Started in 1964 by a group of like-minded revolutionaries, the Catholic spirit has been strengthened as a result of these friendly, and holy games. Young boys ranging from 7-17 in age have their beliefs nurtured and their skills developed, with training Tuesdays and Thursdays, games Saturdays, and churcch outings every Sunday. The matches are not viewed in stands but pews, as God intended it. Every game is started with a holy hymn in respect for the Lord Jesus Christ. The Referees are all Catholic Priests and all have their blue cards to show they can be trusted with young boys. The BCCLSO is an integral part of the Catholic community and is a great asset for the greater Brisbane Area.



Players in the Church League are forbidden to wear brands such as Nike, Adidas and Mitre as the workers are forced to work in poor conditions in 'sweat shops' that are considered the work of the Devil. They also are not allowed to be homosexual as this discourages teamwork and encourages disharmony between teams.

Church League has gained respect since introducing the "bible kick" in place of the well known bicycle kick. Prayers are said before and after games to aknowledge the winners and losers. At half time the players drink communal wine and have bread instead of oranges. Players allowed on each team usually vary between 13 and 15. To sign onto the team a player must first withstand confession with a priest to cleanse oneself.

Some famous names of teams:
Sunnybank Saints (SSSC), Holy Hiters, Westminister Warriors, Logan Disciples, Carindale Crusaders, Zillmere Zealots. The most famous of all church league players is undoubtedly Matthew Brown. With his sublime footwork and unique running style, he bewilders his opponents. His fame comes at a price though. Because he is such a hot stud, he must regularly satisfy the hordes of women who seek to attach themselves to his loins. Such acts of fornication can be viewed after games behind the change rooms. He should not be approached if angry, for he can unleash his trademark move, "the Brownhouse". Other well known players include Pearce "The Flamingo" Fleming and Christopher "Psycho Fag" Collins.

Criticism

Those whom wish to show their strong belief in the almighty and play in Church League, regularly have to undertake a verbal entourage. There is believed to a 30% higher likelihood of members of Church League soccer commiting suicide, than the average inferior non-Church League playing indivual. However this is second in suicide probability to youthful members of the Mormon community. Church League has been noted for the 'off-field' violence. These drive-by baptisms have increased since tensions between teams has risen due to the loss of the "Holy Grail". Although these issues are important and dear in their own beloved right by far the largest problem in CLS is the ammount of non-baptised or circumsied and the red headed devil players. All players have great bigirty towards such a inferior being. The famous example of this was in 2006 where the Red Headed Devils were brutally mass baptised.

In response to this the CLSA (Church League Soccer Association) said: "It doesn't matter who you are or how much money, you must admit you got to hate red heads. The Bible even supports our claims, for instance:
Exodus, 13. 21: "The Lord is a man of war".

Exodus, 20. 12: "Honor thy father and thy mother". We at the CLSA conducted a survey of 30 the red devil's under captivity of cause and the results were amazing. In most cases the red headed devils abandon their parents in preference for their own kind But they have abnormal sexual activity, hating all of their own kind when it comes to sexual prefernce. Even stranger their sleeping habits, 21 out 30 had a serious case of insomia due to hevey depression.

Exodus 26,1: "Smite all of the Red Headed Devils"

In response the CHRDA (Christian Red Head Devil Assoication) repiled with: "Quote Exodus, 7. 16, Let my people go."

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SSSC