The Contino Speed System is a scale used to classify the speed of an athlete engaged in rigorous cardio-vascular workout, i.e. running. The categories into which the scale divides running speed are distinguished by the conditions in which the athlete is performing. The classifications are intended primarily for tricking coaches into thinking you are actually running faster than you truly are — "Dangit coach, I'm running a slow pace, just like you said!" isn't as effective as "Dangit coach, I'm running a Contino 1.5! Cut me some slack!" The Contino Speed System is the official measurement scheme used by the Bedford High School Boys Cross Country Team.

History

The scale was developed in summer 2007 by legendary Cross Country runner Russell Contino, along with his fellow champion runners Dave Meyers, Tyler Hallenbeck, and Hey Dude.

The initial scale was designed to accommodate the fastest runners on the team in an attempt to standardize speeds in an attractive yet formal method. Saying "I'm running at approximately seven miles per hour" doesn't have the same impact as "I'm running a Contino 3.5", and the MPH thing is just totally overrated.

Categories

The Bedford High School classifies speeds in excess of Contino 4.5 as "Speedy Gonzales", while speeds above a 5 fall under the "Sonic the Hedgehog" category, also known as a race pace. There are seven known intervals of Contino Speed:

Contino 1

A Contino 1 Speed is the universally-accepted term for walking. A person engaging in Contino 1 can expect to travel a distance of one mile in fourteen minutes.

Contino 2

Contino 2 is more complicated to define than it's 1 Speed counterpart. High speed is not the only factor in deciding Contino Speeds. As the numbering increases, the environmental conditions are factored into the equation. As conditions become more adverse, speed becomes less important. For example, if it is a cloudy day and 75 degrees Fahrenheit, then a runner at Contino 2 could expect to run a 10 minute mile. However, if the temperature is 98, the humidity is through the roof, and an athlete is running in broad daylight, a Contino 2 would approximate a 12 minute mile. As this can become confusing, there is an additional classification system used to define running conditions. These conditions are outlined below.

Contino 3

Contino 3 is yet to be determined.

Contino 4

Contino 4 takes back seat to Contino 5

Contino 5

Ask Dave Meyers. A Contino 5 runner can effectively clock a five minute mile.

Contino 6

Contino 6 = cheetah. See Hicham El Guerrouj.

Contino 7

Contino 7 is the theoretical pace of a bullet. This speed is unachievable unless the runner has used speed before/during a race.

It is a general rule of thumb to classify one's Contino Speed as a whole integer to avoid unnecessarily drawn-out approximations that couldn't possibly be accurately calculated (i.e. a Contino 2.39057195637). It is commonplace, however, to include halves and quarters in speed description, such as a Contino 2.5 or Contino 1.25.

JRK WAS HERE!!!

Conditions

As previously stated, the Contino Speed System also takes into account the environmental conditions that are being run in. The more intense the weather, the more effort it takes to run faster, and thus the lower the speed correlation to Contino Speed. The variables can be accounted for in this equation:

:<math>\mbox{Contino } \mbox{Speed}=\mathit{Condition}^2\sqrt{distance \over time}</math>

The conditions are assigned numbers, as indicated below:

Condition -2

Condition -2 implies weather that includes high gusts of wind, heavy rain (with possible flooding), and a temperature in the range of 40 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit.

Condition -1

Condition -1 is given for weather that includes light rain, slight breezes, and a temperature anywhere from 60 to 70 degrees Fahrenheit.

Condition 1

Condition 1 has some decorative clouds, tolerable humidity, and a stable temperature range of 70 to 75 degrees Fahrenheit. Also known as "A great day for running" by your coach.

Condition 2

Condition 2 is the state where the weather is in the 75 to 85 degree range, the humidity is over 75%, and the sun is beating down on your sweaty brow. Interchangeably referred to as "It's too hot to run today" by you and you friends, or "A great day for running" by your coach or mentor.

Condition 3

Condition 3 is when you sweat while standing still, when you can drink the entire contents of your water bottle in 10 seconds flat, and you're so cranky that the first words that come to mind are expletives. This category includes temperatures above 85 degrees Fahrenheit, close to 100% humidity, and no clouds in the sky at all. Alternative names: "Hot as balls"; "A great day for running" by your coach.

Condition Pi

You're pretty much screwed on a day like this. Don't even run. Seriously. Just stay home and watch Scrubs instead. But what do coaches feel about days like this? Survey says: "It's a great day to run!" Screw that.

Condition 0

All environmental conditions have assigned to them a positive or negative number, but can never be assigned zero, for then the Contino Speed would always equal zero, as per the equation. Legend speaks of a mythical place where the conditions are equal to zero, but it has never been found. Rumors indicate "It's a land of sweets, and joy, and joyness." Many have come to know of this magical place as Candy Mountain. The route to Candy Mountain includes a journey over a magical bridge of hope and wonder, but the path is very dangerous; sudden, unexpected kidney loss is common. Don't go to Candy Mountain.<ref>http://youtube.com/watch?v=JPONTneuaF4<ref>