From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A conversation is communication between multiple people. It is a social skill that is not difficult for most individuals^{[citation needed]}. Conversations are the ideal form of communication in some respects, since they allow people with different views on a topic to learn from each other. A speech, on the other hand, is an oral presentation by one person directed at a group. An established name in the skill of banter is the ambitious Tom Panton. For a successful conversation, the partners must achieve a workable balance of contributions. A successful conversation includes mutually interesting connections between the speakers or things that the speakers know. For this to happen, those engaging in conversation must find a topic on which they both can relate to in some sense. Those engaging in conversation naturally tend to relate the other speaker's statements to themselves. They may insert aspects of their lives into their replies, to relate to the other person's opinions or points of conversation.

Conversation is indispensable for the successful accomplishment of almost all activities between people, especially the coordination of work, the formation of friendship and for learning.

Through history many people have been noted for their conversation, among them:

• Cicero;
• Socrates;
• Samuel Johnson;
• Marie Thérèse Rodet Geoffrin;
• Anne Louise Germaine de Staël;
• Benjamin Franklin;
• Gregory Bateson.

Conversation analysis is a branch of sociology which studies the structure and organization of human interaction, with a more specific focus on conversational interaction.

Classification of conversation

Subject

The majority of conversations can be divided into four categories according to their major subject content:

• Conversations about subjective ideas, which often serve to extend understanding and awareness.
• Conversations about objective facts, which may serve to consolidate a widely-held view.
• Conversations about other people (usually absent), which may be either critical, competitive, or supportive. This includes gossip.
• Conversations about oneself, which sometimes indicate attention-seeking behaviour.

In the real world, few conversations fall exclusively into one category. Nevertheless, the proportional distribution of any given conversation between the categories can offer useful psychological insights into the mind set of the participants.

Function

Each type of conversation has its own cluster of purposes and expectations attached.

• Functional conversation is designed to convey information in order to help achieve an individual or group goal.
• Small talk is a type of conversation where the topic is less important than the social purpose of achieving bonding between people or managing personal distance.
• Banter is non-serious conversation, usually between friends, which may rely on humour or in-jokes at the expense of those taking part. The purpose of banter may at first appear to be an offensive affront to the other person's face. However, people engaging in such a conversation are often signaling that they are comfortable enough in each others' company to be able to say such things without causing offense. Banter is particularly difficult for those on the autism spectrum, or those with semantic pragmatic disorder.

Spontaneity

In most conversations, the responses are a spontaneous reaction to what has previously been said. In entertainment talk shows, however, the topics of conversation are often pre-scripted. Talk shows such as William F. Buckley's Firing Line or the Dick Cavett Show can be considered as exercises in conversation.

Men and women

A study completed in July 2007 by Matthias Mehl of the University of Arizona shows that contrary to popular belief, there is little difference in the number of words used by men and women in conversation.^[1] The study showed that on average each of the sexes uses about 16,000 words per day.

Literature on Conversation

Authors who have written extensively on conversation and attempted to analyze its nature include:

• Milton Wright Wrote The Art of Conversation a comprehensive treatment of the subject in 1936. The book deals with conversation both for its own sake, and for political, sales, or religious ends. Milton portrays conversation as an art or creation that people can play with and give life to.
• Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Al Switzler, and Ron McMillan have written two New York Times bestselling books on conversation. The first one, "Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High," McGraw-Hill, 2002, teaches skills for handling disagreement and high-stakes issues at work and at home. The second book, "Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior," McGraw-Hill, 2005, teaches important skills for dealing with accountability issues.
• Charles Blattberg has written two books defending an approach to politics that emphasizes conversation, in contrast to negotiation, as the preferred means of resolving conflict. His From Pluralist to Patriotic Politics: Putting Practice First, Oxford and New York: Oxford University Press, 2000, ISBN 0-19-829688-6, is a work of political philosophy; and his Shall We Dance? A Patriotic Politics for Canada, Montreal and Kingston: McGill Queen's University Press, 2003, ISBN 0-7735-2596-3, applies that philosophy to the Canadian case.
• Paul Drew & John Heritage - Talk at Work, a study of how conversation changes in social and workplace situations.
• Neil Postman - Amusing Ourselves to Death (Conversation is not the book's specific focus, but discourse in general gets good treatment here)
• Deborah Tannen - The Argument Culture: Stopping America's War of Words, Conversational Style: Analyzing Talk Among Friends, Gender and Discourse, I Only Say This Because I Love You, Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work, That's Not What I Meant!, You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation
• Daniel Menaker - A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation (published 2010)
• Stephen Miller - Conversation: A History of a Declining Art: provides and extensive history of conversation which dates back to the ancient Greeks with Socrates, and moving forward, to coffeehouses around the world, and well as the modern forces of the electronic age, talk shows, etc.

See also

• Awkward silence
• Bohm Dialogue
• Chat
• Conversation Theory
• Dialogue
• Small talk
• Speech (public address)

References

External links

• [2] A short Summary of Milton Wright's The Art Of Conversation
• Advice on initiating conversations and links to conversational organizations.
• Article on developing basic communication skills
• Conversation Café, devoted to creating a "culture of conversation."
• Empathic listening skills How to listen so others will feel heard, or listening first aid (University of California). Download a one hour seminar on empathic listening and attending skills.
• Lifehack howto on Small Talk
• Table Topics Using question cards to stimulate conversation
• "The art of conversation", Economist, 19 December 2006
• Conversation techniques Methods and ideas to initiate and sustain a conversation.
• Compelling Conversations Conversation questions and quotations that prompt engaging conversations for native speakers and English as a Second Language students.

From Wikiquote

The word conversation is the verbalization of concepts involving abstractions and concrete objects which make up the world we live in. Also, a conversation is communication by two or more people, or by ones self. It can be very involved or just simple small talk.

Unsourced

• (wife) "Are you listening to me?" -(Steve Sayles)"yes"-(wife)" Well you are not looking at me"-(Steve Sayles) "I listen to the radio, but I don't sit looking at it!" (2004) Steve Sayles

• Egotists cannot converse, they talk to themselves only.
  • A. Bronson Alcott

• "Many can argue, not many converse."
  • A. Bronson Alcott

• The first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit.
  • Anonymous

• The less men think, the more they talk.
  • Charles de Montesquieu

• When we are in the company of sensible men, we ought to be doubly cautious of talking too much, lest we lose two good things, their good opinion and our own improvement; for what we have to say we know, but what they have to say we know not.
  • Colton

• Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
  • G. A. Sala
  • Benjamin Franklin
  • Dorothy Neville

• The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
  • Fran Lebowitz

• One thing which makes us find so few people who appear reasonable and agreeable in conversation is, that there is scarcely any one who does not think more of what he is about to say than of answering precisely what is said to him.
  • François de La Rochefoucauld
  • The original text may be in French.

• The extreme pleasure we take in talking of ourselves should make us fear that we give very little to those who listen to us.
  • François de La Rochefoucauld
  • The original text may be in French.

• Speak little and well if you wish to be considered as possessing merit. (original: French)
  • French proverb

• Amongst such as out of cunning hear all and talk little, be sure to talk less; or if you must talk, say little.
  • Jean de La Bruyère
  • The original text may be in French.

• There is speaking well, speaking easily, speaking justly and speaking seasonably: It is offending against the last, to speak of entertainments before the indigent; of sound limbs and health before the infirm; of houses and lands before one who has not so much as a dwelling; in a word, to speak of your prosperity before the miserable; this conversation is cruel, and the comparison which naturally arises in them betwixt their condition and yours is excruciating.
  • Jean de La Bruyère
  • The original text may be in French.

• He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of some of the best requisites of man.
  • Johann Kaspar Lavater
  • The original text may be in German.

• Writing, when properly managed (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name of conversation.
  • Laurence Sterne

• Verbal ability is a highly overrated thing in a guy, and it's our pathetic need for it that gets us into so much trouble.
  • Nora Ephron

• Never hold any one by the button or the hand in order to be heard out; for if people are unwilling to hear you, you had better hold your tongue than them.
  • Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

• In my whole life I have only known ten or twelve persons with whom it was pleasant to speak—i.e., who keep to the subject, do not repeat themselves, and do not talk of themselves; men who do not listen to their own voice, who are cultivated enough not to lose themselves in commonplaces, and, lastly, who possess tact and good taste enough not to elevate their own persons above their subjects.
  • Prince Clemens Wenzel of Metternich

• The pith of conversation does not consist in exhibiting your own superior knowledge on matters of small consequence, but in enlarging, improving and correcting the information you possess by the authority of others.
  • Sir Walter Scott

• There are three things in speech that ought to be considered before some things are spoken—the manner, the place and the time.
  • Southey

• It is a secret known but to few, yet of no small use in the conduct of life, that when you fall into a man's conversation, the first thing you should consider is, whether he has a greater inclination to hear you, or that you should hear him.
  • Steele

• The secret of tiring is to say everything that can be said on the subject.
  • Voltaire
  • The original text may be in French.

External links

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Conversation

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From BibleWiki

generally the goings out and in of social intercourse (Eph. 2:3; 4:22; R.V., "manner of life"); one's deportment or course of life. This word is never used in Scripture in the sense of verbal communication from one to another (Ps. 50:23; Heb. 13:5). In Phil. 1:27 and 3:20, a different Greek word is used. It there means one's relations to a community as a citizen, i.e., citizenship.

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