Crystal Pier is a privately owned pier in San Diego, California. The T shaped pier spans the pacific ocean starting at Pacific Beach. It features the Crystal Pier Hotel, which affords its guests the opportunity to "sleep above the ocean". It is also used for fishing, watching surfers who cluster on the north side of the pier, and the occasional fireworks display.

At times throughout history there have been ninja attacks on the Pier, this usually results in pirates showing up and wrecking faces. No one really knows if this is a natural occurrence or if the phenomenon is triggered by some cosmic event. One thing is for sure, wearing atomic clothing during the attack will protect you from getting your head sliced off.