Daniel's Fantasy Football League, or DFFL for short, is a fantasy football league founded in 1998 by league comissioner Daniel J Halloran II. The league initially consisted of six franchises, the Yobshabobs, Yetis, 49ers, Snake Eyes, and now-defunct Very Mary and Th'Ham'N'Eggers. After several rounds of expansion, the league - having just completed nine seasons - now includes 12 teams, with the Muggins Tecmo Stars, Fungos, Organtuans, Heavy Cs, BK's Team, Vipers, Cash$Money$Millionaires, and Cops joining the four remaining original franchises.

After the Yetis won defeated the 49ers in the first DFFL Super Bowl by a score of 81-49, the 49ers changed their team name to the 82ers in the hope that they could win the second Super Bowl while scoring the same number of points as their team name. In subsequent seasons the team name has changed to reflect the winning score of the previous year's Super Bowl, and they are now commonly referred to as the *ers or just ers.

Unlike many other fantasy football leagues, which operate through Internet websites such as Yahoo!, DFFL features weekly score reports which are produced by the commissioner and sent out the Tuesday or Wednesday of each week. The reports feature a "Communist Propoganda" section, in which the league commissioner provides witty commentary of the week's action and fires or grants props to team owners as necessary (see terminology section below).

Many of the league's members are avid fans of the classic Nintendo video game Tecmo Super Bowl, and the league pays homage to the game by including as the fourth tie-breaker in playoff games a "Tecmo showdown." To date no Tecmo showdowns have taken place. Also, the Muggins Tecmo Stars team name is inspired by the game, and Tecmo players still active in the National Football League earn special reverance in DFFL weekly reports.

DFFL Franchise Info

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Team
! Owner
! Years in DFFL
|-
| Yobshabobs
| Daniel Halloran
| 9
|-
| Yetis
| Tomislav Ladika
| 9
|-
| Snake Eyes
| David Halloran
| 9
|-
| *ers
| David Hucul
| 9
|-
| Organtuans
| Dave Wassick
| 8
|-
| Fungos
| Scott Wylie
| 8
|-
| Heavy Cs
| Matt Hucul
| 8
|-
| Muggins Tecmo Stars
| Mike Reim
| 8
|-
| BKs Team
| John Ballard
| 7
|-
| Cops
| David Moeller
| 6
|-
| Cash$Money$Millionaires
| Amit Patel
| 6
|-
| Vipers
| Dan Levy
| 2
|}

Additionally, a franchise named the "Rookies" participated in DFFL for two seasons before being dismissed for general ineptitude, and more specifically for repeatedly starting Running Back Marcel Shipp after he was placed on injured reserve. Very Mary, owned by Daniel Halloran's mother, competed for only the inaugural DFFL season, while the Th'Ham'N'Eggers, owned by Dan Halloran Sr., competed for five seasons before retiring.

DFFL Rules and Scoring System

The first and most important rule of DFFL is that the use of a psychic grandmother is strictly prohibited. Once this condition is met, teams are allowed to carry 13 players on their rosters. A player can be a Quarterback, Running Back, Wide Receiver, Kicker, or Defense. A Tight End is permitted to play in place of a Wide Receiver, but this practice is generally frowned upon by the more competent DFFL owners. Each week, teams are required to designate seven of these players as starters - one QB, two RBs, two WRs, a kicker, and a defense. Teams who fail to fill in one of these designate slots are awarded a "wedgie." The team scoring the most points wins the game (in the regular season ties, although loathed, are permitted).

Teams are divided into two divisions of equal size, the Near Side and the Far Side. The regular season last for the first 14 weeks of National Football League play (the lone exception was a 15-week regular season in the first year), followed by a two-week postseason. The two division winners advance to the postseason as the top seeds, and the two next best teams qualify as wildcards. The playoffs consist of a #1-#4 and #2-#3 matchup, with the two winners advancing to the Super Bowl to fight for DFFL glory and the two losers meeting in the Toilet Bowl to scrape some postseason dignity. In recent years other bowls have also been staged, although they do not count for postseason records. These include the Fired! Bowl in which the two worst teams square off to avoid shaming their families; the Hubris Bowl between two of the four traditional powers - the Yobshabobs, Yetis, *ers, and Muggins Tecmo Stars - who fail to qualify for the postseason; and the Beard Bowl between two high-scoring teams that didn't muster enough approval from the DFFL Gods to make the postseason.


{| class="wikitable"
|-
! Play
! No. of Points¹
|-
| Touchdown by any starter
| 6 points
|-
| 25 yards rushing
| 1 point
|-
| Touchdown by any starter
| 6 points
|-
| 25 yards rushing
| 1 point
|-
| Touchdown by any starter
| 6 points
|-
| 25 yards rushing
| 1 point
|-
| 50 yards passing
| 1 points
|-
| Reception
| 1 point
|-
| Sack by defense
| 1 point
|-
| Turnover by defense
| 1 point
|-
| Safety by defense
| 4 points
|-
| Shutout by defense
| 8 points
|-
| 2 to 9 pts allowed by def
| 5 points
|-
| 10 to 16 pts allowed by def
| 2 points
|-
| Field goal by kicker
| 3 points
|-
| 50 yard FG by kicker
| 4 points
|-
| Extra point by kicker
| 1 point
|-
| 2-pt conversion run, catch or pass
| 2 points
|}

DFFL Terminology

• The term "beard" is commonly used by team members to refer to the luck factor inherent in fantasy football. For example, a team that scores a high number of points but loses because an opponent starts a bad running back who unpredictably has a career game is said to be "bearded." The term has its origins in an obscure British comedy.

• "Abortion" is the term used to describe a particularly poor outing by a star fantasy player, which usually ends up costing his team a victory. It is also used to describe general ineptitude on the part of DFFL owners. The term "Choke-on-a-Donut" is reserved for poor play in clutch situations, like a playoff game.

• "Fired!" is a term that DFFL owners frequently level upon one another for their poor performances. Its origins date back to the frequent rants of Midland High School football coach Tom Messinger.

• "Props" are likewise granted by the commissioner to team owners that perform particularly well, the most common instance being when a team scores above 100 points in a given week. Occassionally "full props" are granted. The term's origins date back to Yetis team owner Tomislav Ladika's adoration of the late rapper Tupac Shakur during high school.

• The DFFL Rulebook proudly boasts to be the only rulebook to use the word "butt.¹"

DFFL Legends

In its first nine seasons, many NFL players have been beloved by DFFL owners for their superhuman performances on the field, and many have gained notoreity for the timely abortions. A few of these players include:

• Marshall Faulk, the original beard-master himself, who was single-handedly capable of carrying inept owners to Super Bowl victories with his RB receptions. After BK owner John Ballard drafted Faulk first overall in the 2002 draft, Yeti owner Tomislav Ladika jokingly remarked that Ballard had just won the Super Bowl. Little did owners know how true this statement was.

• Al Del Greco, Yobshabob kicker and long-time head coach

• Peyton Manning, a favorite of the Heavy Cs but also owned by the *ers and Yobshabobs. In 2004 he blew away previous DFFL scoring records by passing for 49 touchdowns.

• Vinny Testaverde, or the Testicle, who after several mediocre DFFL campaigns refused to remain in retirement. Several years ago it was deemed that Testaverde had "overstayed his welcome in the league," and yet just this year he signed on as a third-string QB for the New England Patriots and even threw a touchdown pass.

• Marcel Shipp, perhaps the most widely started player with a ruptured knee in DFFL history, started for the Rookies for much of the 2003 season despite being on injured reserve. More recently, he came out of nowhere to steal three goal-line touchdowns from Edgerrin James.

References

¹Halloran, Daniel. "The Official DFFL Rulebook: 3^rd Edition," Midland, MI, August 2006.