Early Life

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Daniel S. Loudon was born on October 1st, 1989 at approximately 10:30 A.M. Pacific Standard Time. This amazing young man grew up in Issaquah, Washington for the first six amazing years of his life. There he attended Sunny Daycare and went to Issaquah Elementary School. His first teacher was Mrs. Denny, but she later got knocked up and Daniel had some weird asian lady for the rest of his kindergarten career.

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"He was always an outstanding student," the weird asian teacher had told our reporters, "He was years ahead of the class, and was always on top of the game, so to speak."
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Indeed Daniel was an amazing young lad; at the ripe age of five years old, Daniel spoke fluent Latin and French, along with his native language, English. Though English was his primary language, he could speak much most easily in French. Then, at the age of six, Daniel combined Latin and French to create a new langauge, Fratin. Sadly, the language didn't catch on to the general public, and this brave young lad was forced to give up his dream of creating a new language.

Then tragedy struck on July 4th, 1996. Daniel was forced to move from his humble aboad in Issaquah, Washington to the middle of butt-fuck nowhere, Ravensdale, Washington. Here, Daniel would spend the rest of his years as an adolescent, and teenage boy.

Middle Life

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Years had passed since Daniel was forced to move to Ravensdale, Washington and young Daniel was now getting used to living in fuck-your -sister-ville. Thankfully, Daniel had no sister so it was impossible for him to befall into this tragic event happening throughout this redneck town. At the age of 16, Daniel thought it would be an amazing idea to take a French class and fool the teacher into thinking he knew nothing about French, and then one day stun the teacher by speaking fluently with her. Alas, the high school career of Daniel began promptly. Here, he would pretend to be an absolute fucking retard, but in actuality, he was smarter than Einmotherfuckingstein himself. Daniel never showed his true knowledge to his school chum, so he could fit in more easily. But when test day came around, Daniel would stun the fuck out of his teachers and ace the tests they had stown upon him.

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"He even wrote me a position paper on the fucking pandas in China when all I gave him was a simple math test," Daniel's sophomore math teacher quoted, "This kid is fucking amazing, I wish everyone was cool like him; even me."
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True, Daniel was probably the smartest, coolest, most popular kid at the school. One night, he was invited to a party with a few of his hot ass girly friends where there would be plenty of alcohol.

And condoms.

Lots of condoms.

Daniel had been smashed off his asshole the whole entire fucking time, taking shot after shot of vodka, and guzzling down Mike's Hard Lemonade like it was a glass of water. Truely the toughest man alive. Then, the most amazing thing happened to young Daniel. A girl, we'll call her Gisele, asked Daniel if he would like to fuck the living daylights out of her. Of course Daniel was up to this, since this was the only thing on his mind at all.

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"We fucked from sun down, to sun up all throughout the night," 'Gisele' commented, "To this day, he's been the greatest fuck I've ever had. Not only was he the greatest fuck, his cock was a massive 15" long! He deffinately ripped me a new one."
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Daniel had it all now. Brains, charm, hot women begging to fuck him, and teachers swooning as he passed by. For two years Daniel had done nothing every weekend except fuck the next hot chick he knew.

Then, senior year came. Daniel graduated as valedictorian in his class. To celebrate, he went back to his house with his parents now gone, and invited over thrity-five of the hottest fucking chicks around. That night, Daniel fucked all of them. On the last one, Daniel had died from a massive heart attack, due to blowing too many loads in one night. A sad ending to one, if not THE, greatest men alive.

Interests

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Daniel was interested in many things, some are as follows:

Le parkour

Punk Rock

Sex

Hate for Alex Fishburn

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Daniel also had a strong hate towards one of his school chum, Alex Fishburn. Even though to Daniel Alex was an idiot, to the rest of the school, Alex was the coolest of all cools. Alex was always running his mouth off, and always had funny jokes. So one day, Daniel walked over to Alex, and punched him in the fucking face. Daniel hit Alex so hard, that he broke his own hand. And cried for several minutes. Alex's nose was broken in fifteen places, and he suffered massive blood loss. This was a great day in Daniel's history, he had broken his so-called friend's face, and loved every minute of it. Yet, Alex later decided to beat Dan to the edge of his life and take his 35 girlfriends. This was truly the emotional end of Daniel. And his real death came later when he was hit by a Runaway semi driven by The Incredible Hulk.