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Daniel Dwight Tosh
Daniel Tosh - photo by Laura Harward.jpg
Tosh after a performance at the McDonald Theatre in Eugene, Oregon, on November 7, 2008.
Birth name Daniel Dwight Tosh[1]
Born May 29, 1975 (1975-05-29) (age 34)
Boppard, Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany
Medium Stand up comedy, television
Genres Observational comedy, satire, sarcasm, black comedy
Website www.danieltosh.com
.Daniel Dwight Tosh (born May 29, 1975) is an American stand-up comedian and television presenter.^ A veteran of over 40 appearances on "The Late Show with David Letterman," the incomparable Jake Johannsen is one of America’s favorite stand up comedians.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He was named Stand-Up Comedian of the Year by the American Comedy Awards in 1999 and has received a Gemini Award nomination for his superb televised performance at The Montreal Comedy Festival in 2000.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Sign up with On Camera Talent to see the show or check out the calendar at Daniel Tosh's personal website .
  • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.He is currently hosting the Comedy Central video clip show, Tosh.0.^ Powered by Bookmarkify™ More » Tags: comedy central , community page , Daniel Tosh , facebook , tosh.0 , twitter Posted in links .
  • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ P.S. Todd's just jealous that Comedy Central rejected his idea for a show about funny things he overheard on ham radio.
  • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ His brand new Comedy Central Special and DVD entitled “I’m Starvin’” was released in January of this year as a follow up to his enormously successful CD ‘Show Me The Buffet’.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[2]

Contents

Early years

Tosh was born in Boppard, Rhineland-Palatinate, Germany[3] but grew up in Titusville, Florida, the son of a preacher with one brother and two sisters.[4] After graduating from Astronaut High School in 1993 and later the University of Central Florida with a degree in marketing,[5] Tosh moved to Los Angeles. He attributes his decision to work in comedy to having been raised in Florida, which he considers "flat, hot and dumb."

Career

.Tosh's first big career break came in 2001 with a performance on the Late Show with David Letterman.^ A veteran of over 40 appearances on "The Late Show with David Letterman," the incomparable Jake Johannsen is one of America’s favorite stand up comedians.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.His first attempt to appear on the show was cut short due to a guest star, Eric Kraff, overextending his segment.^ Her career skyrocketed in 1968 when she appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Heather has also guest-starred on the hit television shows Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, Reno 911, Drake and Josh, Quintuplets and Watching Ellie.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ She soon made television history as the first sole guest host of The Tonight Show.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Tosh followed with appearances on programs such as The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Comedy Central's Premium Blend.[6] .He also hosted a local late-night comedy show in Florida called Ten and served as a spokesperson in Taco Bell commercials.^ He’s also appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel Live and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, Chelsea Lately and Def Comedy Jam.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[7] .In 2003 he performed in his own 30-minute special on Comedy Central Presents.^ The 30 something L.A. resident is living his passion with guest appearances on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," starred in his own Comedy Central Presents special which is consistently in the top 5 most requested, FOX's animated feature "The Family Guy," Showtime's "Full Frontal Comedy," and Comedy Central's "Short Attention Span Theater.” Francisco was a cast member on the Fox Network's sketch comedy show "Mad TV" and has performed at the "Montreal Comedy Festival."
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ His brand new Comedy Central Special and DVD entitled “I’m Starvin’” was released in January of this year as a follow up to his enormously successful CD ‘Show Me The Buffet’.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Kevin stays busy performing stand-up comedy around the country and can be seen in his own stand-up special in the fall of 2008.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.On June 17, 2007, Comedy Central aired his stand-up special: Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious.^ Powered by Bookmarkify™ More » Tags: comedy central , community page , Daniel Tosh , facebook , tosh.0 , twitter Posted in links .
  • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He also wrote for Redd Foxx’s “Sanford and Son” series as well as “Saturday Night Live.” Most recently Mooney appeared on Comedy Central’s “Chappelle's Show” and released a live stand up DVD, “Know Your History: Jesus Is Black and So Was Cleopatra.” .
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Daniel Tosh 's Tosh.0 makes its series premiere June 4 at 10pm / 9c, but the show's blog is already up and running.
  • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.He also hosted an episode of Comedy Central's Live at Gotham.^ New episodes of Tosh.0 will return October 9th at 10pm / 9c on Comedy Central!

Tosh is also a regular guest on The Bob & Tom Show. .He most recently played a small role in the feature film The Love Guru starring Mike Myers.^ During his now 20 years as a professional comic, he has also amassed credits including a recurring role on a Canadian sitcom; his own BBC chat show Network East Late, and a number of feature films including Quarterlife Crisis and most recently The Love Child of Andy Warhol and Yoko Ono.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Most recently he has appeared in the films Get Smart and You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.
  • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.His Comedy Central TV show Tosh.0 premiered on June 5, 2009. which showcases Internet video clips.^ That's right, the TV show about the internet is on the internet.
  • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Powered by Bookmarkify™ More » Tags: comedy central , community page , Daniel Tosh , facebook , tosh.0 , twitter Posted in links .
  • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ New episodes of Tosh.0 will return October 9th at 10pm / 9c on Comedy Central!

[8]

Discography

References

External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

.Daniel Tosh (born 29 May 1975) is a comedian who currently resides in Los Angeles, California.^ After graduating from the University of Central Florida, Tosh moved to Los Angeles, California, where he currently resides.
  • Player Bio: Daniel Tosh :: Genrel 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ucfathletics.cstv.com [Source type: General]

^ Daniel Tosh is an American comedian.
  • Player Bio: Daniel Tosh :: Genrel 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ucfathletics.cstv.com [Source type: General]

^ Daniel was raised in Los Angeles.
  • LAKESHORE THEATER - Daniel Tosh - Event Archive 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.lakeshoretheater.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

He has performed on Comedy Central Presents as well as other shows such as The Late Show, The Tonight Show, and Premium Blend. He has released one album called True Stories I Made Up, one DVD called Completely Serious. and currently has his own show on Comedy Central called "Tosh.0".

Contents

Sourced

Comedy Central Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)

.
  • I'm a lousy piece of ass, and I know, I've been there almost every time.^ It’s about time the world knows what we’ve known about him for years.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ And also, I've mellowed-out some and decided that there's nothing wrong with a joke every now and then.
    • Review: True Stories I Made Up (FuzzyCo) 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC fuzzyco.com [Source type: General]

    .I mean, the closest thing I got to a birds and bees talk was with my dad.^ When asked to describe his stand-up, John Pinette says, “I talk about my life, it is the funniest thing I can think of.
    • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    He was like, "Son, sex is a lot like this egg." "Dad, I think those are drugs." "Whatever, queer!" "Why does everyone keep saying that?" "Listen up, son, listen good. You take a woman and crack her over the head and lie her flat. Make sure she sizzles and then flip her over. .Don't stand too close or you'll get yellow stuff all over your—" What?^ With Red Zone Tickets, you'll never have a problem finding tickets to the Daniel Tosh, or any other major event for that matter.  Order your Daniel Tosh Tickets securely online with Red Zone Tickets.

    ^ We'll keep you informed of all the Daniel Tosh events, offers, and discounts in your area.
    • Daniel Tosh Tickets - Daniel Tosh Theater Tickets 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.vividseats.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You'll be laughing in no time when you buy your comedy show tickets through Vivid Seats.
    • Daniel Tosh Tickets - Daniel Tosh Theater Tickets 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.vividseats.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I see some of you holding your stomach and feeling: "No, you shouldn't."^ We also have the latest website security features to make you feel safe and comfortable with your purchase.

    ^ Back up your vote with why and post some of their best jokes if you want.
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    That's a breakfast joke. That's the most important joke of the day. .If you don't laugh at that, you're gonna be sleepy around 11:30. And you'll be like, "Why am I so tired?"...^ That's why you're going to school!

    ^ August 17th, 2009 5:00PM 11 Awesome Slap Videos that You'll Want to Watch Twice .

    ^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?
    • Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Maybe not.
  • When I was a kid, even my imaginary friend played with the kid across the street. .I'd be, like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's, like, "Whatever, queer!"
  • Oh, the floor's lava!^ Add Quotes See all Quotes Jay : Guess you heard about that by now.
    • The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Mariah Carey; Daniel Tosh; Keane episode on TV.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ It'll get you a week later.
    • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?
    • Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    That's the lava game, when you pretend that the floor is lava and you climb up on all the furniture. .I see some of you don't get that.^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    I don't care, that's okay. You might have called it something else, but it meant the same thing — you were poor. I'll tell my mom, "I want a Nintendo" "Oh, the floor's lava!" ."Oh, my God!^ Oh my god.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Whats wrong with our house? Why can't we afford better carpeting? It's called two jobs, bitch!" That's how I used to talk. I was very street. .Maybe not.
  • You ever hear girls say that?^ Things You Should Never Say to a Girl With Huge Boobs [asylum] .
    • SpikedHumor.com » Daniel Tosh - Completely Serious Part 2/5 » SpikedHumor.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.spikedhumor.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." .I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"
  • I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a Capri Sun.
  • Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test.^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?
    • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ (California) He'd be right at home in the California Legislature (California) CHP officer was demoted -- but will his CHP enablers take heat, too?
    • Organizing for America launches national TV ad campaign for health care reform | Politicker.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC politickeror.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I don‘t think there‘s anyway you could be that funny without enhancement creams.
    • Daniel Tosh Quotables 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cs.iupui.edu [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Then I can say, "Hey, at least I'm not pregnant." And I know happy days are around the corner.

True Stories I Made Up (2005)

  • I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.
  • I'm actually all for gay marriage. .Just the thought of having a man around the house...
  • Butt sex is a lot like spinach: if you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.
  • You'll have to excuse me for my bad posture.^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?
    • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Here are my top ten favorite tweets that were hash tagged with #3wordsduringsex , and they're pretty funny, whether or not you're a twitter lover.
    • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Matt Tobey If you're like me, after the season finale of Tosh.0 this Thursday at 10pm / 9c, you were going to just throw your computer away and cancel the internet.

    My mom says it's 'cause I have a huge cock. Yeah, she talks like that. She's a sailor. We don't judge her. She lives by one rule, and it's the rule of the sea.
  • I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fake.

Completely Serious (2007)

  • My show's about bringing the troops home. That's the message. It's not obvious, but it's there. Bring the troops home tomorrow, and continue the war here. Because we owe it to our troops to let them sleep in their own beds with their families, wake up in the morning, have delicious breakfast, and drive to war. .They can do it in Nebraska; we don't need that horrible state.^ I'm not somebody who thinks the public or my fans, if I have fans, I don't think they need to know every detail.
    • Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    That can be our field. .Some of you are like, "Oh, that's not nice!^ DT: If you are like, “Oh, I want to be a comic, I am going to move to New York”.
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Then, we wouldn't have any corn!" My SUV doesn't run on corn. Ethanol's a dream, and a dumb one.
  • I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. .I'll write a check.
  • I saw a guy wearing a WWJD bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and the kid could see.^ But then I looked down and saw my WWJD bracelet on, so I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay, the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys half-full. .Because you're focusing on the important part of the story: the bracelets are working.
  • I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day.^ And now you’re dying not to work?
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?
    • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Twitter works for me; I just opened an account because the network was like, "You have to promote your show."
    • Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? .'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I wcas in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off -- don't you just hate that?^ Lets turn off all the lights and play a game called "Who's in my mouth" Daniel Tosh: I was in a movie and this guys cell phone went off and I was like "oh great".
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Most recently he has appeared in the films Get Smart and You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.
    • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And so I say....and I'm not going to censor myself here 'Hey buddy, Get off the phone please!' .And he's like, 'Mind your own business asshole.^ Much like the previous Pizza Burger, you can construct your own Meatini by following step-by-step (if somewhat vague) instructions on the website Rathergood.com .

    .So I reach over the seat, I want to punch him in the face, but at that moment I see my braclet: what would Jesus do?^ After the jump, see what the rest of my favorite celeb look-a-like donor babies would look like.

    .So I lit him on fire and sent him to Hell.
  • One time I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish friend's wrist.^ But then I looked down and saw my WWJD bracelet on, so I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ So what kind of an asshole jeopardizes his one opportunity to have his own show by putting his friends on it, who clearly should not be hired anywhere.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    It burned his skin. He threw it on the ground and it turned into a snake. We both laughed. .We think snakes are slimy, even though we know they're not.
  • "Money doesn't buy happiness."^ "Though the ads don't name any politicians, it's pretty clear from the placement that they're directed at conservative Democratic and moderate Republican congressmen and senators."
    • Organizing for America launches national TV ad campaign for health care reform | Politicker.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC politickeror.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I'm not somebody who thinks the public or my fans, if I have fans, I don't think they need to know every detail.
    • Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Uh, do you live in America? 'Cause it buys a WaveRunner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner? Have you? Seriously, have you? Try to frown on a WaveRunner. You can't! .They're so awesome, it's just throttle.^ They're just a few clicks, or a simple phone call away!

    People smile as they hit the pier. .Because you forget, you need gas to turn.^ You do whatever you need to; I'm going to work on building a bomb shelter for when kids like this start turning eighteen and being able to have a say in our society.

    It goes against your natural instincts. .Some of you aren't laughing; we all miss your cousin, but not not laughing's not gonna bring him back.^ And if you think of someplace like, ‘Hey, no one has done a special here and this might be cool.’ I’m all for stealing your idea.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Back up your vote with why and post some of their best jokes if you want.
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    He's dead for a reason. He was a show-off, and he tried to spray us. "I didn't wanna get wet!" I yelled at his mother at the funeral.
  • I hate you, Google. You've caused a lot of problems in my relationship. .I share a computer with my girlfriend and she would look up anything.^ After the jump, see what the rest of my favorite celeb look-a-like donor babies would look like.

    "I'm going to look up apples today." She just hits 'A.' It's "Asian ass porn" instantly. .Google is, like, "I'll take it from here.^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?
    • Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I know exactly what you're looking up...^ You probably didn't know that this type of sheep existed because it only appears in the logo of every Dodge pick-up truck in the world.

    ^ Posted by: Chris Lesinski Yesterday, Listverse came up with a list of " 10 Mammals You Probably Didn’t Know Exist ."

    ^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Well, every time you hit 'A,' it's 'Asian ass porn.'" Google! All I ask is that you let her type three letters before you jump to such a bold conclusion. It's bad enough that I'm clearing my history every three hours and changing my passwords. .I'm trying to have an honest relationship, and you are fucking my shit up!
  • I'm going to be cremated from the neck down.^ It’s a simple show and in the first few minutes of the show I have my take on clips and I break things down, then I go out into the field and I take someone that has had a huge mess-up on the internet and I give them a chance to redeem themselves.
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Here's a list of my all time favorite slapping videos that you're going to want to watch them twice.

    ^ If you go there, you know what the **** is up.
    • Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .And at my funeral, when people are talking about me, they have to hold my head.^ But I guess it beats talking to my friends about their problems.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ When asked to describe his stand-up, John Pinette says, “I talk about my life, it is the funniest thing I can think of.
    • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .And then at the end, they have to kick me into the audience and the audience has to keep me up for at least three hits or you have to start the whole service over.^ They followed up with the independently-financed, cult-hit Super Troopers and the horror-comedy Club Dread.
    • Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Keep watching until at least 1:08 , at which point Todd suddenly goes into hilarious meltdown mode!
    • Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You can only vote for up to three badges.
    • Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .No cradling it — I want legit sets.
  • What if you went to heaven and God meets you and says, "Hey, welcome to fuckin' heaven."^ And if you think of someplace like, ‘Hey, no one has done a special here and this might be cool.’ I’m all for stealing your idea.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You don’t even have to watch, just set your DVR. I just want to get to season two!
    • Daniel Tosh PCM Celebrity Interview 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.popculturemadness.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ A lot of meaningless meetings— like ‘Hey, what do you think of lighting the stage more?’ I get up around eight in the morning and I get to the office around 9:30 or 10.
    • Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I'm like, "What did you say?"^ And while no one can wear a red spandex suit and catch popcorn like Daniel Tosh, you guys still did great.
    • Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You do whatever you need to; I'm going to work on building a bomb shelter for when kids like this start turning eighteen and being able to have a say in our society.

    "Welcome to fuckin' heaven." ."I didn't know you could swear."^ You probably didn't know that this type of sheep existed because it only appears in the logo of every Dodge pick-up truck in the world.

    ^ Your list of "10 Mammals You Probably Didn’t Know Exist" contains mammals that are currently in my backyard.

    ^ August 28, 2009 at 7:00pm 10 Mammals You "Didn't" Know About .

    "Fuck, yeah, it's fucking heaven" "Well, I was raised as a child never to swear." "Where does it say in the Bible that you can't fuckin' swear?" "No fuckin' where!" ."All right, now you are getting the hang of it.^ For a list of related albums you can download right now, check out these recommendations.
    • True Stories I Made Up mp3s, True Stories I Made Up music downloads, True Stories I Made Up songs from eMusic.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.emusic.com [Source type: General]

    Oh, yeah, I saw some slutty bitches outside the pearly gates? You wanna tap that? They ain't gettin' in!" "What?" "No, just kidding. You aren't in heaven, you're in hell. You've been punk'd." Arghhh! Damn you, Ashton! That was elaborate. Way to go the extra mile. Even in the afterlife, you're a douchebag. Hope it was worth it charity-bangin' that geriatric for all eternity.
  • I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.

External links

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:

Simple English

Daniel Tosh
Born May 29, 1975 (1975-05-29) (age 35)
Germany
Medium Stand up comedy, television
Genres Observational comedy, Satire, Sarcasm, Black comedy
Website http://www.danieltosh.com/

Daniel Tosh (born May 29, 1975[1]) is an American stand-up comedian.

Contents

Early life

Tosh was born in Germany but grew up in Titusville, Florida, the son of a preacher and with one brother and two sisters.[2] After graduating from Astronaut High School in 1993 and later the University of Central Florida with a degree in marketing,[3] Tosh moved to Los Angeles where he lives with his dog. He says his reason to work in comedy is that he was raised in Florida, which he considers "flat, hot and dumb."[4]

Career

Tosh's first big career break came in 2001 with his performance on the Late Show with David Letterman. His first attempt to appear on the show was cut short, though, due to time limits caused by the star guest, Eric Kraff, overlapping with his segment. He followed with appearances on programs such as The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Comedy Central's Premium Blend.[5] In 2003, he performed in his own thirty-minute special on Comedy Central Presents. On June 17, 2007, Comedy Central aired a stand-up special featuring Tosh, Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious. He also hosted an episode of Comedy Central's Live at Gotham. Tosh is also a regular guest on The Bob & Tom Show. He had a bit part in the feature film In the Army Now starring Pauly Shore and Andy Dick. He also had a bit part in The Love Guru.

Currently, Tosh hosts Tosh.0, a show showcasing internet video clips on Comedy Central.[6]

Works

Tosh has released two albums, True Stories I Made Up, which was released on November 8, 2005 by Comedy Central and Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious, which was released on June 17, 2007 by Comedy Central. His Comedy Central TV show Tosh.0 premiered on June 4, 2009. On Tosh.0, he asks viewers to write funny comments on his Wikipedia page.

Releases

  • True Stories I Made Up (CD, 2005)
  • Daniel Tosh: Completely Serious (DVD, 2007)

References

Other websites


Citable sentences

Up to date as of December 18, 2010

Here are sentences from other pages on Daniel Tosh, which are similar to those in the above article.








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