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.^ After graduating from the University of Central Florida, Tosh moved to Los Angeles, California, where he currently resides.- Player Bio: Daniel Tosh :: Genrel 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ucfathletics.cstv.com [Source type: General]
^ Daniel Tosh is an American comedian.- Player Bio: Daniel Tosh :: Genrel 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ucfathletics.cstv.com [Source type: General]
^ Daniel was raised in Los Angeles.- LAKESHORE THEATER - Daniel Tosh - Event Archive 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.lakeshoretheater.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
He has performed on
Comedy Central
Presents as well as other shows such as
The Late
Show, The Tonight Show, and
Premium Blend.
He has released one album called
True Stories I Made Up,
one DVD called
Completely Serious. and currently has his
own show on Comedy Central called "Tosh.0".
Sourced
Comedy Central
Presents: Daniel Tosh (2003)
.^ It’s about time the world knows what we’ve known about him for years.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ And also, I've mellowed-out some and decided that there's nothing wrong with a joke every now and then.- Review: True Stories I Made Up (FuzzyCo) 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC fuzzyco.com [Source type: General]
.^ When asked to describe his stand-up, John Pinette says, “I talk about my life, it is the funniest thing I can think of.- Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
He was like, "Son, sex is a lot like this
egg." "Dad, I think those are drugs." "Whatever, queer!" "Why does
everyone keep saying that?" "Listen up, son, listen good. You take
a woman and crack her over the head and lie her flat. Make sure she
sizzles and then flip her over.
.^ With Red Zone Tickets, you'll never have a problem finding tickets to the Daniel Tosh, or any other major event for that matter. Order your Daniel Tosh Tickets securely online with Red Zone Tickets.
^ We'll keep you informed of all the Daniel Tosh events, offers, and discounts in your area.- Daniel Tosh Tickets - Daniel Tosh Theater Tickets 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.vividseats.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ You'll be laughing in no time when you buy your comedy show tickets through Vivid Seats.- Daniel Tosh Tickets - Daniel Tosh Theater Tickets 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.vividseats.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.^ We also have the latest website security features to make you feel safe and comfortable with your purchase.
^ Back up your vote with why and post some of their best jokes if you want.- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
That's a breakfast joke.
That's the most important joke of the day.
.^ That's why you're going to school!
^ August 17th, 2009 5:00PM 11 Awesome Slap Videos that You'll Want to Watch Twice .
^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?- Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Maybe not.
- When I was a kid, even my imaginary friend played with the kid
across the street. .
- Oh, the floor's lava!^ Add Quotes See all Quotes Jay : Guess you heard about that by now.
- The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Mariah Carey; Daniel Tosh; Keane episode on TV.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.tv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ It'll get you a week later.- Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?- Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
That's the lava game, when you pretend
that the floor is lava and you climb up on all the furniture. .^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
I don't care, that's okay. You might
have called it something else, but it meant the same thing — you
were poor. I'll tell my mom, "I want a Nintendo" "Oh, the floor's
lava!" .^ Oh my god.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Whats wrong with our house? Why can't we afford
better carpeting? It's called two jobs, bitch!" That's how I used
to talk. I was very street. .
- You ever hear girls say that?^ Things You Should Never Say to a Girl With Huge Boobs [asylum] .
- SpikedHumor.com » Daniel Tosh - Completely Serious Part 2/5 » SpikedHumor.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.spikedhumor.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
"I'm not religious, but I'm
spiritual." .
- I don't think I could stab somebody, cause I'm really bad at a
Capri Sun.
- Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be
going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test.^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?
- Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ (California) He'd be right at home in the California Legislature (California) CHP officer was demoted -- but will his CHP enablers take heat, too?- Organizing for America launches national TV ad campaign for health care reform | Politicker.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC politickeror.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ I don‘t think there‘s anyway you could be that funny without enhancement creams.- Daniel Tosh Quotables 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cs.iupui.edu [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Then I can say,
"Hey, at least I'm not pregnant." And I know happy days are around
the corner.
True Stories I Made
Up (2005)
- I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to
point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.
- I'm actually all for gay marriage. .
- Butt sex is a lot like spinach: if you're forced to have it as
a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.
- You'll have to excuse me for my bad posture.^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?
- Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Here are my top ten favorite tweets that were hash tagged with #3wordsduringsex , and they're pretty funny, whether or not you're a twitter lover.- Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Matt Tobey If you're like me, after the season finale of Tosh.0 this Thursday at 10pm / 9c, you were going to just throw your computer away and cancel the internet.
My mom says it's
'cause I have a huge cock. Yeah, she talks like that. She's a
sailor. We don't judge her. She lives by one rule, and it's the
rule of the sea.
- I'm all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic
surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your
inner appearance — fake.
Completely Serious
(2007)
- My show's about bringing the troops home. That's the message.
It's not obvious, but it's there. Bring the troops home tomorrow,
and continue the war here. Because we owe it to our troops
to let them sleep in their own beds with their families, wake up in
the morning, have delicious breakfast, and drive to war. .^ I'm not somebody who thinks the public or my fans, if I have fans, I don't think they need to know every detail.
- Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
That can be
our field. .^ DT: If you are like, “Oh, I want to be a comic, I am going to move to New York”.
Then, we
wouldn't have any corn!" My SUV doesn't run on corn. Ethanol's a
dream, and a dumb one.
- I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm
tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for
cancer. .
- I saw a guy wearing a WWJD bracelet and a Lance Armstrong
bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid and rubbed his eyes, and
the kid could see.^ But then I looked down and saw my WWJD bracelet on, so I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.
- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
But he wasn't used to the light, 'cause it was
bright, and he walked into traffic and was killed instantly. Okay,
the people that are laughing right now? I'm gonna call you guys
half-full. .
- I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I
bought one the other day.^ And now you’re dying not to work?
- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Posted by: Joselyn Hughes I'm sure you're probably wondering what you're going to be doing this weekend, so why not just listen to us and do what we say to do?- Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Twitter works for me; I just opened an account because the network was like, "You have to promote your show."- Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets
on? .^ Lets turn off all the lights and play a game called "Who's in my mouth" Daniel Tosh: I was in a movie and this guys cell phone went off and I was like "oh great".- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Most recently he has appeared in the films Get Smart and You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.- Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a
movie.' And so I say....and I'm not going to censor myself here
'Hey buddy, Get off the phone please!' .^ Much like the previous Pizza Burger, you can construct your own Meatini by following step-by-step (if somewhat vague) instructions on the website Rathergood.com .
.^ After the jump, see what the rest of my favorite celeb look-a-like donor babies would look like.
.
- One time I put a What Would Jesus Do bracelet on my Jewish
friend's wrist.^ But then I looked down and saw my WWJD bracelet on, so I lit him on fire and sent him to hell.
- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ So what kind of an asshole jeopardizes his one opportunity to have his own show by putting his friends on it, who clearly should not be hired anywhere.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
It burned his skin. He threw it on the ground and
it turned into a snake. We both laughed. .
- "Money doesn't buy happiness."^ "Though the ads don't name any politicians, it's pretty clear from the placement that they're directed at conservative Democratic and moderate Republican congressmen and senators."
- Organizing for America launches national TV ad campaign for health care reform | Politicker.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC politickeror.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ I'm not somebody who thinks the public or my fans, if I have fans, I don't think they need to know every detail.- Interview: Daniel Tosh Installs Tosh.0 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.dose.ca [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
Uh, do you live in America?
'Cause it buys a WaveRunner. Have you ever seen a sad person on a
WaveRunner? Have you? Seriously, have you? Try to frown on a
WaveRunner. You can't! .^ They're just a few clicks, or a simple phone call away!
People smile as they hit the pier. .^ You do whatever you need to; I'm going to work on building a bomb shelter for when kids like this start turning eighteen and being able to have a say in our society.
It goes against your natural instincts. .^ And if you think of someplace like, ‘Hey, no one has done a special here and this might be cool.’ I’m all for stealing your idea.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Back up your vote with why and post some of their best jokes if you want.- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
He's dead for a reason. He was a
show-off, and he tried to spray us. "I didn't wanna get wet!" I
yelled at his mother at the funeral.
- I hate you, Google. You've caused a lot of problems in my
relationship. .^ After the jump, see what the rest of my favorite celeb look-a-like donor babies would look like.
"I'm going to look up apples today." She just
hits 'A.' It's "Asian ass porn" instantly. .^ Maybe you’ll like something over here instead?- Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.^ You probably didn't know that this type of sheep existed because it only appears in the logo of every Dodge pick-up truck in the world.
^ Posted by: Chris Lesinski Yesterday, Listverse came up with a list of " 10 Mammals You Probably Didn’t Know Exist ."
^ If you don't see a link for what you're looking for, then it's your responsibility to write something up, and send it in.
Well,
every time you hit 'A,' it's 'Asian ass porn.'" Google! All I ask
is that you let her type three letters before you jump to such a
bold conclusion. It's bad enough that I'm clearing my history every
three hours and changing my passwords. .
- I'm going to be cremated from the neck down.^ It’s a simple show and in the first few minutes of the show I have my take on clips and I break things down, then I go out into the field and I take someone that has had a huge mess-up on the internet and I give them a chance to redeem themselves.
^ Here's a list of my all time favorite slapping videos that you're going to want to watch them twice.
^ If you go there, you know what the **** is up.- Dane Cook vs. Daniel Tosh *Pics* [Archive] - PbNation 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.pbnation.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.^ But I guess it beats talking to my friends about their problems.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ When asked to describe his stand-up, John Pinette says, “I talk about my life, it is the funniest thing I can think of.- Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.^ They followed up with the independently-financed, cult-hit Super Troopers and the horror-comedy Club Dread.- Cobb's Comedy Club - Calendar 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.cobbscomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ Keep watching until at least 1:08 , at which point Todd suddenly goes into hilarious meltdown mode!- Daniel Tosh | Comedy Central Insider Blog - Part 6 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC ccinsider.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ You can only vote for up to three badges.- Daniel Tosh TV Show: Tosh.0: Links, Pics, Videos, and News 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.buzzfeed.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.
- What if you went to heaven and God meets you and says, "Hey,
welcome to fuckin' heaven."^ And if you think of someplace like, ‘Hey, no one has done a special here and this might be cool.’ I’m all for stealing your idea.
- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ You don’t even have to watch, just set your DVR. I just want to get to season two!
^ A lot of meaningless meetings— like ‘Hey, what do you think of lighting the stage more?’ I get up around eight in the morning and I get to the office around 9:30 or 10.- Daniel Tosh: Comedy on the attack : Punchline Magazine - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
.^ And while no one can wear a red spandex suit and catch popcorn like Daniel Tosh, you guys still did great.- Daniel Tosh « Tosh.0 Blog 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.comedycentral.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
^ You do whatever you need to; I'm going to work on building a bomb shelter for when kids like this start turning eighteen and being able to have a say in our society.
"Welcome
to fuckin' heaven." .^ You probably didn't know that this type of sheep existed because it only appears in the logo of every Dodge pick-up truck in the world.
^ Your list of "10 Mammals You Probably Didn’t Know Exist" contains mammals that are currently in my backyard.
^ August 28, 2009 at 7:00pm 10 Mammals You "Didn't" Know About .
"Fuck, yeah,
it's fucking heaven" "Well, I was raised as a child never to
swear." "Where does it say in the Bible that you can't fuckin'
swear?" "No fuckin' where!" .^ For a list of related albums you can download right now, check out these recommendations.- True Stories I Made Up mp3s, True Stories I Made Up music downloads, True Stories I Made Up songs from eMusic.com 12 September 2009 11:53 UTC www.emusic.com [Source type: General]
Oh, yeah, I saw some slutty bitches outside the pearly
gates? You wanna tap that? They ain't gettin' in!" "What?" "No,
just kidding. You aren't in heaven, you're in hell. You've been punk'd." Arghhh! Damn you, Ashton! That was elaborate. Way to go
the extra mile. Even in the afterlife, you're a douchebag. Hope it
was worth it charity-bangin' that geriatric for all eternity.
- I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into
supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best.
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