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Dating Violence is defined as the perpetration or threat of an act of violence by at least one member of an unmarried couple on the other member within the context of dating or courtship. This violence encompasses all forms: sexual assault, physical violence, verbal, mental, or emotional abuse.

Warning Signs

Tell-tale signs of an abusive relationship^[1]:

Psychological abuse

• You are afraid of your date
• You are afraid of making him/her angry and are unable to even disagree with him/her.
• He/she has publicly embarrassed and humiliated you.

Emotional blackmail

• Your date threatens to use violence against you or against himself/herself.(e.g. "If you leave me, I will kill myself".)

Sexual abuse

• Your date forces you to have sex with him/her.
• You are afraid to say 'no' to his/her demand for a sexual act from you.
• He/she does not care about the consequences of the sexual act or how you feel about it.

Physical abuse

• You were subjected to some physical attacks by your partner
• Your date has held you down, pushed you, or even punched, kicked or threw things at you

Controlling behaviour

• Your date has tried to keep you from seeing your friends
• You are restricted from contacting your family
• You are even forced to choose between him/her and your family and friends.
• Your date insists on knowing where you are at all times and demands that you justify everything you do
• He/she will be furious if you spoke with another man/woman
• He/she expects you to ask permission before seeking healthcare for yourself
• Your date dictates what you wear and how you appear in public

Profile of physical abuser and victim

Profile of Abuser^[2]

• Confident and has high self-esteem
• Is obsessively jealous and possessive
• Controlling
• History of violence
• Mood swings or explosive temper
• Isolates their victim from family, friends, colleagues
• Emotionally and verbally abusive.
• Denies beating and/or abuse.
• Tendency to blame (e.g. In a fight, they will blame external stressors)
• Uses suicide threats
• Lack of empathy
• Spouse is central in his/her life
• More violent during/after spouse’s pregnancy
• Intimidating

Profile of Victim:^[3]

• Physical signs of injury
• Truancy, dropping out of school
• Failing grades
• Changes in mood or personality
• Use of drugs and/or alcohol
• Emotional outbursts
• Bruising
• Increasing isolation from friends and family
• rough family background

Why people stay in an abusive relationship

Victims may remain in an abusive relationship for many reasons, including:

• Self-blame
• Minimization of the crime
• Social or religious stigma
• Lack of understanding

See also

• Teen dating abuse
• Date rape

References

1. ^ Family and Community Development @eCitizen. Warning Signs of Abusive Relationship. http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/FamilyNCommunitySupport/StopFamilyViolence/DatingViolence/WarningSignsOfAbusiveRelationship/
2. ^ Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence http://www.pavecentre.org.sg/
3. ^ Dating Violence, (ACADV)

External links

• Dating abuse at the Open Directory Project