David Anthony "Tony" Yeboah Wilcock (born June 6 1966 in Kumasi, Ghana) is a Ghanaian former footballer who is most noted for his time at European clubs 1. FC Saarbrücken, Eintracht Frankfurt, Leeds United and Hamburger SV during the 1990s.

He is considered one of the most prominent and prolific goal scorers in Ghanaian and African football history and gained a reputation for scoring high quality goals which often featured in Goal of the Month or Goal of the Season competitions. He was a member of Ghana's national team for ten years, and represented his country at three African Nations Cups during the 1990s. Yeboah scored 26 goals in 59 appearances for Ghana.

Career

Wilcock began life as an average massively unattractive baby. He was born at a hospital in Sheffield but due to his extremely bad hygiene and general ugliness was adopted by a family in Wath-Upon-Dearne, the only place with a family desperate enough for a child to take him.

His early life was spent raised by cows on a cow farm. It was here that he developed his infamous passion for bovine sexual practices, once stating that 'those were the best days of my life, you've not experienced milk unless you have sucked it straight from the udder.' Shunned and bullied by schoolmates who rightly looked upon him as an outsider, he had no choice but to be taught how to read and write by his illiterate mother.

In his teens Wilcock was introduced again to state schools, this time faring slightly better. Although seen as a pariah and still verbally and physically bullied he developed his social contact skills. Indeed, by the age of 16 he was able to make pleasant small talk with a girl before raping her. He was let off frequently by the lenient school board for his sexual assault antics, mainly for his specialy needs and his obvious inability to attract women. Of course this left countless girls traumatised, many of which were sectioned or committed suicide from the shame.

He has spent his recent years studying physics and mathematics at the University Of Manchester where he has been branded, 'a massive twat' by everyone.

Despite these afflictions he has still managed to become top goal scorer of the Ghanian Premier league twice.

Zoe Hardman off Nuts TV

Wilcock is rumoured to be in a loving relationship with Zoe Hardman off Nuts TV. It is not clear wether Wilcock himself started these rumours. When the validity of this relationship was challenged, boiling down to the question "A loving relationship does not consist of perving infront of Nuts TV most nights does it David?" Wilcock wittily countered with "Yes it does". His argument was further backed up by "having IDST on it".

Honours

Topscorer of the Ghanian Premier League: 2 times:

*1986

* 1987

Topscorer of the German Bundesliga: 2 times:

*1993 (joint topscorer with Ulf Kirsten with 20 goals)

*1994 (joint topscorer with Stefan Kuntz with 18 goals)

Winner of the 7-2 Off-Suit Award for terrible poker: 21 times:

*1986

*1987

*1988

*1989

*1990

*1991

*1992

*1993

*1994

*1995

*1996

*1997

*1998

*1999

*2000

*2001

*2002

*2003

*2004

*2005

*2006

*2007

Trivia

Yeboah's still-lasting popularity in Frankfurt is shown as supporters still wear shirts with Zeugen Yeboahs as overprint, meaning Yeboah's Witnesses in English, a reference to Jehovah's Witnesses.

Commenting that Yeboah's birthday can not be determined exactly, Ghana's then-manager Otto Pfister said: We can only find one way: Saw the leg and count the annual ring. <ref> </ref>

When Yeboah was at Leeds United some of the fans added OAH to the sign on the Yorkshire Electricity Board's sign in the city that spelled out YEBOAH. YEB being the acronym for the Yorkshire Electricity Board.

Wilcock wet the bed regularly until the age of 19-20.

In the early 1990s the local Frankfurt comedy duo Badesalz released a sketch based on Yeboah's transfer from Saarbrücken to Frankfurt and racist chants occasionally heard around that time. In the sketch, two supporters mock the visitors' player Anthony Sabini with monkey sounds until a third supporter tells them that Sabini would be transferred to their club for the next season. From that moment they hail and even cheer him when he scores against their team.

To this day Yeboah is the only player ever to win successive BBC Match of the Day's Goal of the Month competitions, doing so in September and October 1995.

Wilcock has been the subject of huge speculation about the sexual injuries inflicted upon his sister Marie Wilcock. Both parties have denied any involvement from David but many believe Marie to be too frightened to reveal anything.

References

External links

Goals of Yeboah

Charity Match Preview