== Objective ==

Find a job where the people I work with aren't all against me. Also, I'd like to find a job where the boss doesn't pick on me. I'm thinking of someday being my own boss. I want to make a lot of money. I need some creative space so I can make things. I want to have the extra time to enjoy the things I'm interested in, like partying and seeing some bands. I'm a people watcher, and I'm thinking about learning to play guitar.

Shell Gas Station

Responsibilities<br><br>I pumped gas, checked oil, and sold cigarettes to motorists and the high school students that waited for the bus there.

Reason for leaving

The boss and everyone had it out for me. The bastards I worked with told my boss that I was stealing money from the register and then they framed me for it. The boss was picking on me for being late a few times, and got pretty upset about me showing up with booze on my breath. It was a good thing that I'd drank that whiskey right before I got to work, otherwise he would have smelled the weed on my breath too. Hey, I wasn't kidding when I said I liked to party, man. He got mad because I sold cigarettes to minors. I think that law is bullshit. He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's an idiot. He wouldn't let me have time off for Christmas so I can visit my brother Randy. No one treats me that way. He'll get what's coming to him. I'm telling you; that bastard is going to pay.

Furrs Lumber

Responsibilities Take the broken pallets and make them into good, usable ones. Got the door for the contractors. Swept the parking lot and yard to keep it free of dangerous debris, like wet cardboard, sawdust, and wood chips.

Reason for leaving The boss would ride me about smoking and talking to people walking by. I was doing Furrs a customer service deed by establishing good relations with the public. If you call them they will tell you I made a lewd comment to a customer. That ho is full of shit. She flirted with me. She started it. My boss was a dork from California. His daughter was a fox and he would get uptight when I'd talk to her. He was infringing upon my constitutional rights be telling me I couldn't smoke in the warehouse because of "fire codes". What a bunch of crap. Everyone knows that a cigarette couldn't burn down a whole warehouse. It was just too big. He was an ass for not letting me have Thanksgiving off to visit my brother. He also claims that he caught me jerking off in the warehouse. I wasn't jerking off. I got a sliver down there and was trying to get it out.

Burger King

Responsibilities Cook and janitorial work. I took the 40 pound frozen hamburger patty box out of the freezer, broke them apart with a screwdriver and a ball peen hammer and put them in the cooker conveyor belt. Took the cooked patties and buns (there are two sizes, whopper and regular) and put them into the appropriate sized bun. Put the assembled burgers into the steamer. It was also my responsibility to clean the tiles on the floor underneath the tables where the cleaners couldn't reach with their machines.

Reason for leaving I came into work the day after Halloween and a couple pigs were there and they told me I wasn't allowed to go in. The manager came out and gave me my last check and told me I was fired. I asked him what it was all about and he said I came in on Halloween and started screaming and throwing things around and shoved a lady up against the salad bar. That's a lie. I was drinking with erick in north east houston. I was riding my brother's Huffy (because my car was impounded for a bull shit DWI charge I was framed on). I don't think there is any way I could have got from north east houston to south west houston on that bike in one night, especially since I was so drunk. He hated me anyway. So I punched the son of a bitch and the pigs arrested me. That bald headed punk deserved it. He was lying. He said I had a blackout. That's a lie. I don't remember ever having a blackout. He got mad at me for spitting on the patties with my buddy Craig. He said that that was disgusting and that he was really disappointed. What a asshole. He didn't even see the humor when we used to stick the burger paties on the customers antennas when they would go through the drive thru.

Lowes Lumber

Responsibilities Stand next to a conveyor belt and pull just cut lumber off the conveyor and stack it on a cart and then strap it with banding so the forklift drivers could put the units on a truck. Bundle pieces of pine with a piece of equipment called a "sub-bundler," although it took me maybe two weeks to figure out what it was really called because my unofficial "sponcor" was this freaking idiot named Steve. What an idiot. Nobody could understand him because his speech being drowned out by the spit bubbles. I really thought the thing we did when the two of us were bundling the pine boards was called "sumbumblinb." I was his "buddy." I couldn't shake him. He blew his nose on his shirt.

Reason for leaving It was winter and it was cold as hell. I was living in this house that the bedroom window was broken out of, and my bathroom was frozen. I'm telling you, its hard to get a good job. Anyway, the warehouse had its doors open so the forklift drivers could drive in and out so the wind blew straight through. It was probably a -30 degree wind chill factor. My boss had the extra forklift backed up to us so its exhaust would blow on us. Like it was supposed to keep us warm. I got frostbite because I was wearing steel toed boots, so I quit. I realized that my quitting might have put them out of business, and for that I feel bad. But you know, a man has just got to have his dignity. My parole officer can kiss my ass for getting me this job.

Furrs Lumber

Responsibilities Cut aluminum slabs into one inch pieces, drilled holes into them, and cut off the burrs. Piled pallets into neat stacks.

Reason for leaving My boss Jack was crazy. He said that I was being "careless with safety" because I was caught jumping off the third tier of the racks in the warehouse into foam rolls I piled on the floor. He also got mad because I was skateboarding in the warehouse on this ramp I had made out of spare wood. It wasn't a big ramp, and they weren't doing anything with the wood. As far as the jumping off the racks, it wasn't dangerous. The foam broke my fall. Besides, it made everyone laugh. Jack was a geek. He drove a porche. People who drive porche's are stupid. He got pissed one time when he found me and Ron and Mark and Adam getting stoned in the warehouse. I made a cool fort in the racks on the second tier that three of us could fit into, even though it was really only made for two. I made it for this chick that was working in the other side of the plant. Never panned out, though. I told her about it and she left and never came back. Huh? Anyhow, Me and Ron and Mark and Adam climbed up there and we were smoking the last of my weed. Mark was leaning over on one of the walls of our fort and fell out and landed on his head. I was so stoned that I just started laughing. Man, that was funny.

EDUCATION

Baytown Sterling High School I chose to leave school because I didn't like the way I was treated. I got in trouble for skipping school and drinking. People made fun of me because I played Dungeons and Dragons with my cousin "D" in louisiana. That's a thinking man's game. They were stupid and didn't know what was going on. I went to a one week training course for selling Ginsu Knives. Learned how to sell worthless crappy knives to suckers. They even had scissors for cutting pennies in half. Who needs that crap? I learned lots and met a hot chick. I watched her all week. She refused to go out with me. I even offered to take her to a club to go dancing , and she said I was a loser. She must have been a lesbian. That's cool, I was just playing. I didn't like her anyway. I just wanted her to feel special.

SKILLS

I am very handy with a hammer, but I think my calling is in sales or customer relations. I'm a people person. I spent a week with my dad in Texas and he taught me how to weld. I've become very interested lately in pyrotechnics. Maybe a job starting fires would be cool. Hey, I'm flexible. I just need a damn job. If I don't get a job soon, I'll be forced to take up that offer that recruiter from the navy gave me.

REFERENCES

Available upon request