dbpoker

{| class="wikitable"
|-
! dbpoker
! Quick Info
|-
| Founded
| Charlie, Texas (August 29th, 2004)
|-
| Headquarters
| Charlie, Texas, USA
|-
| Key people
| Goober, CEO/Director
|-
|
| Porndawg, Co-Founder, All around Douchebag (Retired)
|-
|
| jjfunk, Company Sponsor, Hamster Feeder
|-
| Industry
| Internets, Post Whoring, Poker Advice, Poorly Disguised Bad Beat Posts
|-
| Products
| See [list of current forums]
|-
| Posters
| 1,343 (March 26th, 2007) 1
|-
| Slogan
|If you’re one of us, you’re a douchebag. If you’re not, you’re probably a douchebag.
|-
| Website
| www.dbpoker.com
|}

Overview

dbpoker is a poker forum, specializing in not having much poker content whatsoever and giving its members the ability to talk about whatever they want, whenever they want (especially armadillos). The forum had 1,343 members (including 1,082 aliases) as of March 26th, 2007, and is based in Charlie, Texas. dbpoker’s mission statement is "to raise armadillo awareness, while its members get absolutely nothing done at work, and have a place to discuss poker once in a blue moon.”

dbpoker was co-founded by Goober (CEO and Mongolian Wild Ass) and Porndawg (Retired douchebag), they were old work buddies at work, and the website was first introduced as an alternative to the bad-beat-and-spam ridden wptfan.com on August 29th, 2004. dbpoker has grown from a small fledgling forum to what has now become a veritable jabberwocky of post whoring glory. A measure of its success can be measured by its 254124 posts as of March 26th, 2007, acquiring posters from all around the internet from various other (not-as-good) poker forums and various blogs of wanna-be and up-and-coming IPLs (see Internet Poker Legends). Additionally, dbpoker is also involved in several fund raising initiatives such as Team Hoyt (see Team Hoyt), as well as adding to Goober’s dbpoker t-shirt and hat collection.

Like most awesome forums, dbpoker threads have drawn some controversy, and have caused several of its members to have earned the feared NTAC (see No-Talent-Ass-Clown) designation. Only a couple of NTACs have returned from this dreaded status, most are forced to live with this branding for the rest of their mortal lives. Other looked-down-upon members are given special treatment rather than earning this label, hoping they will leave on their own volition (see Moose-treatment and STFU TP!!). dbpoker’s members are generally an inviting and hilarious group of people that look out for each other and respect each other’s opinions, so long as those opinions are aligned with the top-10 posters, (except TP (see royal pain in the ass or not at all funny ever) and posters with special titles (see Overlord) except, once again, for TP (see Higgy's brother-in-law)

dbpoker is particularly known for its relaxed culture and love of odd creatures such as the alpaca and the armadillo. Their philosophy is based on many principles including, "Contrary to popular opinion, not all Armadillos can curl into a ball when facing danger, that’s only the 3-banded Armadillo", "You can’t outrun an Alpaca!!!!," and "In Soviet Russia, Armadillo run over YOU!!!." This type of culture can also be seen externally through their holiday celebrations, such as Steak & BJ Day, and Secretary Appreciation Day.

The name "dbpoker" originated from the term WADB (see Wild Ass Douchebag) a term for most morons that play internet poker (see poorly), which refers to anyone that wins a hand against a dbpoker forum member when said member had the best hand when the money went into the pot. This term has evolved and now has been shortened to just "db" (see douchebag) and can represent anyone anywhere that does anything that it's members find detestable. One popular recurring theme is kid-touchers, or abusive or negligent parents.

Chrin

<i>Last edited on Mon Mar 26th, 2007 05:18 pm by Chrin</i>

Post Whoring

Post whoring is a vital part of the Dbpoker community. You can usually find members post whoring at for at least 20 hours on any given day.

PackerJG10

PackerJG10 is a predatory cyber life-form found in the dung of the armadillo. It festers inside it's host and reproduces itself in the intestine walls, causing cramps, bowel spasms and vomiting. The organism was the byproduct of a piece of code inserted into a popular online poker site by Dr. Lee Jones. It was discovered to be a virus that extracts money from it's victim. It gains trust by means of false vouches. (see NTAC No-Talent-Ass-Clown) - updated 3/26/07 by rp

Gatherings

Each year, the members of dbpoker come together to celebrate their common values. Namely: drinking, eating, gambing, and whining. The social season commences with Cotterpalooza held at Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut and closes with Project Mayhem in Atlantic City. Between these events, various home games and pilgrimages to Vegas occur (see: Rat's Vegas Calendar).

The gatherings have become infamous, creating a subculture of awareness. Attendees exert their privilege by mentions of "the hump," "Delpho's girl," "the man with the silvah mercedes," "two queens," "the Crab Hat," and "don't you know how to knock." To the outsider, this might seem like a disjointed snigglet of a vernacular, but it's critical to the survival of the forum.

Mana

Mana allows members to show appreciation for each others contributions. In a perfect world, a member's mana would directly correlate with their social status within dbpoker. However, in January of 2006 it was determined that the algorithm for mana was severely flawed. This flaw assigns varying weights of mana based on the previous activity of the member. A member that has never used mana before offers more mana than a generous member. This flaw encouraged a more dubious poster to add mana to all members in a single night. The software was unable to handle this Blitzkreig and crashed. Goober was faced with an impossible choice. Take the mana away or take the entire site away. After minutes flipping his lucky coin, the decision to remove mana was made.

The move cast a shadow on the site and morale was low. To counter this feeling, an exorcism was needed. Lead by shaman Rackpirate, the dbs sarcraficed Don McLean to the karma gods and all was right again.

Mana has since been restored to the site.

Hall of Fame

Rarely, a thread will reach Hall of Fame status. The Hall of Fame is reserved only for particularly hilarious posts. So far, only eight threads have reached this status. Certain radical elements feel that the ongoing NFL Hot Stove, a discussion for offseason moves in the National Football League, is destined to be a Hall of Fame thread.

Catchphrases

During various rail calls and other discussions various catchphrases have been used.
<li>get there - used to convey a sense of urgency and hope. can be applied in situations from poker tournaments, to weight loss, to home improvement projects and much more</li>
<li>go go go! - see "get there"</li>
<li>nxxxxxxx - the properusage involves putting an "n" before any word to indicate that something is "nice". for instance if when looking at a picture of a dead armadillo in the middle of the road, one might say "nroadkill"</li>
<li>how is that fair. - no explanation needed, its just not fair.</li>
<li>gfy - this has a double meaning. the lesser known of which is "good for you". the better known of which is typically an overused comeback by one of dbpoker's eldest members when he can't think of anything else better to say.</li>