The Downtown Chatham Centre is pretty much the worst mall you'll ever visit, located in historical downtown Chatham, Ontario, Canada.

This incredible joke of a mall is widely rumoured to be a very long lived prank on the municipality of Chatham-Kent, as it is indeed amazing and a mystery that the doors have remained open for so many years.

The Downtown Chatham Centre boasts 3, thats right THREE places to eat in the food court: Subway, A&W and Fortune Express

A&W is always a classic, Fortune Express has turned out to be a hidden gem of delights, but unfortunately Subway has never once had a single customer at the mall. Apparently people do not want to eat subs while they are at the mall. The employees always look extremely bored and pass the time by talking to the custodians and sometimes even the mall cop.

Over 50% of the stores in the Downtown Chatham Centre have closed their doors permanently including the mall restaurant which has been vacant for a good 3 years now MINIMUM. It may have been closed for as many as four years, nobody is certain because nobody really noticed or cared. The name of this unpopular eatery was the Excalibur. I think maybe a large part of the marketing issue for this restaurant besides the fact that it was a mall restaurant with terrible food, was the name. Excalibur. Who ever says "Honey, let's go to the Excalibur tonight and get our eat on!", thats right, nobody. The Excalibur boasted a huge sword on the side of the mall facing the main downtown street (King St. E). Who wants to see that? Bottom line is who in their right mind wants to eat at the Excalibur? Well the answer is not enough people, because she's closed.

The running shoe place in the mall is closing soon too, the name of this place is also unknown because nobody really cares to document or notice anything in and around the mall. It doesn't really matter what the name is because it is closing up shop. They currently have things marked down to 50% off. Next week they will probably mark stuff down to 100% but people still won't take it. Most of those items will end up in a burn pile because it's all old stock that nobody has bought since 1973.

It's nearly to the point where there is tumbleweeds blowing by you down the escalator when you visit this abomination of a mall. Actually I wouldn't be surprised if that already happens, because the mall is such a pile of scrap that your brain kind of numbs and goes into neutral while you're there. You usually end up questioning yourself over and over again as to why you walked though the door.

Back to the food court. You should see the high society type of crowd that gathers there. If you gathered up all the crack, meth, amd heroin addicts, then all the homeless mentally ill people from the downtown Toronto area, then weeded those people down to a dozen of the craziest most messed up ones of the bunch, you would have a classier group of folk than seen gracing the food court of the Downtown Chatham Centre.

The leader of this group is who we call "Shiny Coat Guy". Shiny coat guy is about 40 years old, and he wears a shiny black and red trenchcoat with shiny white crosses stitched into it. He wears knee high boots with an 8 inch thick sole on them. He has a crazy rat nest of messy long hair, and the sweetest pair of john lennon-esque sunglasses you'll ever see.

For some reason or another the Downtown Chatham Centre boasts a 5 story parking garage. It could possibly be 6 stories, or possibly 4, nobody is certain because once again nobody cares and it really doesn't matter all that much. During the busy rush of the Christmas shopping season when you have the most customers at the mall, you'll have that parking garage max out at 2-3 automobiles at once.

It is also rumoured that a couch was once thrown off the top of the parking garage