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Epic Movie

Promotional film poster for Epic Movie
Directed by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Produced by Paul Schiff
Written by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Starring Jayma Mays
Jennifer Coolidge
Adam Campbell
Faune A. Chambers
Crispin Glover
Darrell Hammond
Kal Penn
Fred Willard
Tim Lockwood
David Lehre
Music by Edward Shearmur
Cinematography Shawn Maurer
Editing by Peck Prior
Studio Regency Enterprises
New Regency
Distributed by 20th Century Fox
Release date(s) January 26, 2007
Running time Original theatrical version
85 minutes
Unrated version
89 minutes
Country United States
Canada
Language English
Budget $20 million
Gross revenue $86,865,564 (Worldwide)
Preceded by Date Movie (2006)
Followed by Meet the Spartans (2008)

Epic Movie is a 2007 American parody film directed and written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and produced by Paul Schiff. It was made in a similar style to Date Movie, Friedberg and Seltzer's previous film. The film mostly references The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Contents

Plot

The film begins with a parody on The Da Vinci Code. Lucy (Jayma Mays) finding a museum currator murdered by Silas (David Whatley). The museum currator (David Carradine) tells her that the word is Da Vinci. She finds a painting of Mona Lisa and sees with a flash light the writing: 'So lame the hair of Tom' referring to Tom Hanks. Thinking that the word "lame" is a seven-letter word, she runs to a vending machine and presses the number "7" three times and a Willy Wonka Chocolate Bar with a golden ticket comes out of the vending machine, which she takes.

Later the film introduces Edward (Kal Penn) at the Mexican monastery. Ignacio (Jareb Dauplaise) tells him to eat the dead cat and Edward doesn't want to eat it. Ignacio removes his clothes and turns into Nacho Libre, but instead it turns out to be a nacho name, Edward tells him he's the better Lucha Libre wrestler, however Ignacio calls Chancito to teach Edward a lesson. He throws him out of the table, pulls out a golden ticket from a Mexican man, and gets out of the monastery.

Next the film introduces Susan (Faune Chambers). She is going to New Jersey to meet her parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson (James Walker, Sr.) pops up starts saying "I have had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!!" and then throws Susan out the plane so that she would be safe.

Then the film introduces Peter (Adam Campbell). Asking Mystique (Carmen Electra) to come with him to the student's ballroom but is bullied by Wolverine (Vince Vieluf) and his gang: Storm (Kahshanna Evans), Cyclops (Tad Hilgenbrinck), Rogue (Lindsey Kraft) and Magneto (Jim Piddock) and when Peter unleashes his powers Storm cursed him to be scared of every thing and finds a golden ticket fell on his hand and cancel his studies at Mutants High School. Each receive a golden ticket in a chocolate. This ticket entitles them to visit the Wonka Chocolate Factory. Willy (Crispin Glover) reveals to the kids the secret ingredient in his candy is "real human parts", and "there is a bit of each and everyone of you of you in my yummy yum candy, literally.". After successfully retrieving the "super special ingredients" from their bodies, Willy holds the orphans captive. Lucy soon finds a closet, and after a series of items fall on her, she climbs inside and meets Mr. Tumnus (Hector Jiminez).

He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia by showing her around his home and, through a recorded message which self destructs, warns her of the grave danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge) commenting with awe "Stifler's Mom..."("what a MILF" in the unrated version, referring to her past role in the American Pie series). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle, to which he says, "Yeah, I think I've already been there..." (Referring to Kal Penn's work in the aforementioned film). Everyone makes his or her way to Mr. Tumnus' house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. Edward goes to see the White Bitch at her castle and realizes all she cares about are the other orphans. He realizes that she is evil and refuses to tell her where the other orphans are. Unfortunately, the White Bitch flashes him her breasts, and Edward, transfixed, gives her the information unhesitatingly. He is then Punk'd, and locked in the castle prison. The White Bitch sets up Silas after Peter, Susan and Lucy. Harry Beaver sends Lucy, Susan, and Peter out of the winter scenery and into the woods to train for the war while Silas shoots Mr Tumnus. They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter (Kevin McDonald), along with a balding Ron Weasley (George Alvarez), and a pregnant Hermione Granger (Crista Flanagan) in Hogwarts. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war. Back at the White Bitch's castle, as she prepares a WMD that will create a new continent for her and her followers to live on, her assistant (Tony Cox) hands her a computer with her MySpace on the screen with an IM from Silas saying that the kids have escaped. Edward tries to find ways to break out of prison, and does so with the help of Captain Jack Swallows (Darrell Hammond). On the ship, Swallows is asked what it is like to be a pirate. The "Lazy Pirate Day" video is a parody of a Saturday Night Live Digital Short, "Lazy Sunday". The females singing and dancing next, is a parody to the Pussycat Dolls song "Beep". Swallows sells Edward to the White Bitch and reveals that the ship they are on is an amusement park ride. The White Bitch then kills Jack Swallows then quotes Lex Luther before Edward grabs the WMD from her, only to accidentally drop it into the water.

Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter, head to the camp of Aslo (Fred Willard). There they encounter James Bond (Darko Belgrade), Chewbacca, and Borat (Danny Jacobs). Aslo agrees to help the orphans on the condition that he may seduce them, including Peter. However, during the mission to rescue Edward, Aslo finishes off Silas, but is ambushed by White Bitch who quickly kills him off. In spite of losing their leader, the entire camp volunteers to help the orphans fight the White Bitch's army, including Lord of the Rings characters, Robin Hood and his Merry Men and his and Peter's X-Men classmates. But due to a pre-battle party, the foursome realize they are outnumbered because nobody came to help them because Susan puked on them until Jack Swallows arrives on a giant cartwheel to get his revenge against the White Bitch. However, the White Bitch dons a Davey Jones mask and play Miss New Booty on a turntable before throwing the mask at Swallows, causing him to detour out of the fight as the orphans are killed off one by one. As Peter is about to be struck down, he grabs the remote from the movie Click off the ground, which he uses to pause time. He rewinds the orphans' deaths as they all proceed to kill the paused army before using the remote's TiVo menu to erase the White Bitch's evil plot. Before they can kill the White Bitch, Peter stops them and makes a speech about how they will give her a fair trial, yet before the lecture is over, Jack Swallows runs the White Bitch over with his cartwheel. Harry Beaver (Katt Williams) promotes all four of them Kings and Queens of Gnarnia. They rule Gnarnia for many years, and in their old age, they discover the wardrobe once again, and walk through it, becoming young again. Borat appears to congratulate them, before they're crushed by Jack Swallows' giant wheel.

Alternate ending

  1. In the unrated, longer version of the film , Willy Wonka comes in and says "I told you it was going to be an epic adventure" and then the Oompa-Loompas come in and start singing the Willy Wonka theme song. Willy Wonka then goes in the wardrobe and puts out a (do not disturb) sign that refers to the girl in the wardrobe. Then, Jack Swallows comes in with the wheel and crushes the Oompa-Loompas and the orphans/rulers of Gnarnia.
  2. In the theatrical edited version, Borat congratulates and then Jack Swallows comes in with the wheel and crushes the orphans/rulers of Gnarnia causing Borat to say " Not ".

Cast

Actor/Actress Role/Parody of Movie/TV
Kal Penn Edward Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/Nacho Libre
Adam Campbell Peter Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/X-Men trilogy/Superman Returns
Faune A. Chambers Susan Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/Snakes on a Plane
Jayma Mays Lucy Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/The Da Vinci Code
Jennifer Coolidge The White Bitch of Gnarnia The Chronicles of Narnia
Tony Cox Bink The Chronicles of Narnia
Héctor Jiménez Mr. Tumnus The Chronicles of Narnia/Scarface
Crispin Glover Willy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Darrell Hammond Captain Jack Swallows Pirates of the Caribbean
Carmen Electra Mystique X-Men trilogy
Jim Piddock Magneto X-Men series
Kevin Hart Silas The Da Vinci Code
Fred Willard Aslo The Chronicles of Narnia
David Carradine The Curator The Da Vinci Code
Katt Williams Harry Beaver The Chronicles of Narnia and Bell Canada reference in scene with PDA
Danny Jacobs Borat Borat
Nick Steele Lead Archer The Chronicles of Narnia
Gregory Jbara Mel Gibson
David Lehre Ashton Kutcher Punk'd
Kevin McDonald Harry Potter Harry Potter series
George Alvarez Ron Weasley Harry Potter series
Crista Flanagan Hermione Granger Harry Potter series
Alla Petrou Paris Hilton and shipoopi
James Walker, Sr. Samuel L. Jackson Snakes on a Plane
Abe Spigner Flavor Flav
Lauren Conrad Herself
Vince Vieluf Wolverine X-Men series
Lindsey Kraft Rogue X-Men trilogy
Scott L. Schwartz Hagrid Harry Potter series
Roscoe Lee Browne Narrator Babe
Tad Hilgenbrink Cyclops X-Men trilogy

Box office

Epic Movie debuted at #1 at the box office with a gross of $18.6 million over the opening weekend.[1] As of May 8, 2007 the film has grossed $86,865,564, with $39,739,367 of that amount earned domestically, despite negative reviews from critics.[2] The film was an economic success for its producers not least because it had a comparatively low budget, estimated at $20 million (the same as Date Movie).

Critical reception

The film was a financial success despite its extremely negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes ranked the film 21st in the 100 worst reviewed films of the 2000s, with a rating of 2%.[3]

A. O. Scott of The New York Times called the film "irreverent and also appreciative, dragging its satiric prey down to the lowest pop-cultural denominator" and added, "The humor is coarse and occasionally funny. The archly bombastic score . . . is the only thing you might call witty. But happily, Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard show up . . . to add some easy, demented class." [4] Mick LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle thought "only a complete idiot could think Epic Movie is remotely funny or worth making at all." Describing it as "so bereft of anything resembling wit or inspiration", he wondered, "What were the perpetrators, uh filmmakers, thinking?" [5] In the Los Angeles Times, Alex Chun called the film "nothing more than a disjointed series of scenes and references cobbled together as a backdrop for sophomoric humor," [6] and Ronnie Scheib of Variety said it was "epically unfunny" and "unlikely to join the list of blockbusters it lampoons." [7] The Radio Times said "There's very little that's epic about this senseless parody, but then there's very little that's funny about it, either... It's mind-numbingly, tediously unamusing and is so devoid of imagination it even parodies self-mocking films."[8]

Awards and nominations

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer were nominated for the "Worst Screenplay" award at the 28th Golden Raspberry Awards. Additionally, the film garnered nominations in two other categories, Worst Remake or Rip-Off and Worst Supporting Actress for Carmen Electra.

Home video

The film was released on DVD on May 22, 2007 in an unrated version, and a theatrical version as well. As of late 2009, 1,040,120 DVDs were sold, bringing in $16,807,388.[9]

References

External links


Epic Movie
Directed by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Produced by Paul Schiff
Written by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Starring Jayma Mays
Jennifer Coolidge
Adam Campbell
Faune A. Chambers
Crispin Glover
Darrell Hammond
Kal Penn
Fred Willard
Tim Lockwood
David Lehre
Music by Edward Shearmur
Cinematography Shawn Maurer
Editing by Peck Prior
Studio Regency Enterprises
New Regency
Distributed by 20th Century Fox
Release date(s) January 26, 2007
Running time Original theatrical version
85 minutes
Unrated version
89 minutes
Country United States
Canada
Language English
Budget $20 million
Gross revenue $86,865,564 (Worldwide)

Epic Movie is a 2007 American parody film directed and written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and produced by Paul Schiff. It was made in a similar style to Date Movie, Friedberg and Seltzer's previous film. The film mostly references The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Johnny Depp's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The song Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx gained commercial attention for being featured in Epic Movie.

Contents

Plot

The film begins with a parody on The Da Vinci Code. Lucy (Jayma Mays), finds that her adopted father (David Carradine), a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas (Kevin Hart). Before dying, he gives clues which lead her to a "Golden Ticket" in a candy bar. Edward (Kal Penn) lives at a Mexican monastery. Ignacio (Jareb Dauplaise) becomes enraged at Edward's displeasure at the living conditions and literally throws him out the window. On the way Edward grabs a Mexican man's Golden Ticket. Next the film introduces Susan (Faune Chambers). She is going to New Jersey to meet her parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson (James Walker, Sr.) pops up starts saying "I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" and then throws Susan out the plane so that she would be safe. Susan falls on Paris Hilton and finds her Golden Ticket. Then the film introduces Peter (Adam Campbell). He asks Mystique (Carmen Electra) to come with him to the student's ballroom. Peter is bullied by Mystique's friends and the Headmaster. Another student's ticket falls onto his chest.

All four meet up at Willy's Chocolate Factory. He reveals he plans to kill them all as the 'special ingredient' in the treats is actual human parts. In an effort to hide, Lucy soon finds a closet. On the otherside, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus (Héctor Jiménez). He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia. Feeling a burst of compassion, he manages to warn Lucy of the danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle. All four main characters makes his or her way to Mr. Tumnus' house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver (Katt Williams), Tumnus' life partner. Edward sneaks off to the White Bitch's castle. Despite realizing she intends evil, he is tricked into giving up the information on the orphans; he is then imprisoned. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus sacrifices himself to ensure their safety.

They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter (Kevin McDonald), along with a balding Ron Weasley (George Alvarez), and a pregnant Hermione Granger (Crista Flanagan) in Hogwarts. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch. It's soon revealed she plans to create a new continent for her followers via a magic crystal; she acknowledges this is the same plot as Superman Returns. Edward escapes with the assistance of Captain Jack Swallows, only to find out later that it was a ruse as the Captain tricks needed intelligence out of Edward. Jack is then is stabbed by the Witch Bitch as crystal is lost in the ocean, putting the witch's plan in motion.

Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter, head to the camp of Aslo (Fred Willard). Aslo agrees to help Edward in exchange for a foursome. Managing to kill Silias while breaking Edward out, Aslo is slain by the White Bitch. Despite this, they have a pre-battle party, during which Peter and Mystique (Who, along with the others who bullied Peter, had come to help the trio) make love. Susan gets drunk and vomits everywhere; this so disgusts their new army that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. Despite the presence of a revenge-craving Jack on a giant wooden wheel, the four siblings are easily dispatched. Peter is about to be slain when he finds the remote from the movie Click, using the device's reality altering powers to save his siblings; they kill the army and erase the White Bitch's plot. Though the others attempt to kill her while frozen, Peter declares the White Bitch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Gnarnia. Moments later, Jack's wheel crushes her. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land. Tumnus shows up; he is still recovering from his battle with Silas. Decades later, the four now elderly rulers find the way home and stumble through. They appear moments after they had left, now young again. Borat congratulates them on a happy ending; the four are then smashed to death by Jack's wheel with Borat following with "NOT!" before smacking his rear at the audience.

Extended Version

In the unrated, longer version of the film , Willy Wonka comes in and says "I told you it was going to be an epic adventure". Willy Wonka then goes in the wardrobe and puts out a (do not disturb) sign that refers to the girl in the wardrobe. Then the Oompa-Loompas come in and start singing the Willy Wonka theme song. Then the four are all crushed by the wheel.

Also, during the scene where Lucy is crushed under the toys from the "Narnia" closet, a nude girl runs out.

Cast

Actor/Actress Role/Parody of Movie/TV
Kal Penn Edward Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/Nacho Libre
Adam Campbell Peter Pervertski/Superman The Chronicles of Narnia/X-Men trilogy/Superman Returns
Faune A. Chambers Susan Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/Snakes on a Plane
Jayma Mays Lucy Pervertski The Chronicles of Narnia/The Da Vinci Code
Jennifer Coolidge The White Bitch of Gnarnia The Chronicles of Narnia
Tony Cox Bink The Chronicles of Narnia
Héctor Jiménez Mr. Tumnus The Chronicles of Narnia/Scarface/ MTV Cribs
Crispin Glover Willy Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Darrell Hammond Captain Jack Swallows Pirates of the Caribbean/Captain Morgan
Carmen Electra Mystique X-Men trilogy
Jim Piddock Magneto X-Men trilogy
Kevin Hart Silas The Da Vinci Code
Fred Willard Aslo The Chronicles of Narnia
David Carradine The Curator The Da Vinci Code
Katt Williams Harry Beaver The Chronicles of Narnia and Bell Canada reference in scene with PDA
Danny Jacobs Borat Sagdiyev Borat
Nick Steele Lead Archer The Chronicles of Narnia
Gregory Jbara Mel Gibson
David Lehre Ashton Kutcher Punk'd
Kevin McDonald Harry Potter Harry Potter series
George Alvarez Ron Weasley Harry Potter series
Crista Flanagan Hermione Granger Harry Potter series
Alla Petrou Paris Hilton
James Walker, Sr. Samuel L. Jackson Snakes on a Plane
Abe Spigner Flavor Flav Flavor of Love
Lauren Conrad Herself The Hills
Vince Vieluf Wolverine X-Men series
Lindsey Kraft Rogue X-Men trilogy
Scott L. Schwartz Hagrid Harry Potter series
Roscoe Lee Browne Narrator Babe
Tad Hilgenbrink Cyclops X-Men trilogy
Audra Lynn Nude woman running out of wardrobe

Box office

Epic Movie debuted at #1 at the box office with a gross of $18.6 million over the opening weekend.[1] As of May 8, 2007 the film has grossed $86,865,564, with $39,739,367 of that amount earned domestically, despite negative reviews from critics.[2] The film was an economic success for its producers not least because it had a comparatively low budget, estimated at $20 million (the same as Date Movie).

Critical reception

The film was a financial success despite its extremely negative reviews. Rotten Tomatoes ranked the film 21st in the 100 worst reviewed films of the 2000s, with a rating of 2%.[3]

A. O. Scott of The New York Times called the film "irreverent and also appreciative, dragging its satiric prey down to the lowest pop-cultural denominator" and added, "The humor is coarse and occasionally funny. The archly bombastic score . . . is the only thing you might call witty. But happily, Jennifer Coolidge and Fred Willard show up . . . to add some easy, demented class." [4] Mick LaSalle of the San Francisco Chronicle thought "only a complete idiot could think Epic Movie is remotely funny or worth making at all." Describing it as "so bereft of anything resembling wit or inspiration", he wondered, "What were the perpetrators, uh filmmakers, thinking?" [5] In the Los Angeles Times, Alex Chun called the film "nothing more than a disjointed series of scenes and references cobbled together as a backdrop for sophomoric humor," [6] and Ronnie Scheib of Variety said it was "epically unfunny" and "unlikely to join the list of blockbusters it lampoons." [7] The Radio Times said "There's very little that's epic about this senseless parody, but then there's very little that's funny about it, either... It's mind-numbingly, tediously unamusing and is so devoid of imagination it even parodies self-mocking films."[8]

Awards and nominations

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer were nominated for the "Worst Screenplay" award at the 28th Golden Raspberry Awards. Additionally, the film garnered nominations in two other categories, Worst Remake or Rip-Off and Worst Supporting Actress for Carmen Electra.

Home video

The film was released on DVD on May 22, 2007 in an unrated version, and a theatrical version as well. As of late 2009, 1,040,120 DVDs were sold, bringing in $16,807,388.[9]

References

External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Bold text'''Epic Movie is a 2007 film that is a comedic satire of films that are large in scope, reputation and popularity.

Written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer.

== Susan,Lucy, and willy


Susan-Let us go you freak.


Lucy-Let us go you freak.


Willy-no no no i cant do that


Susan-Yes you can.


Lucy-Yes you can.


Willy-No your mine now. ==

Contents

Edward

  • [as the White Bitch pulls up in her turbo sled] Whoa, Stifler's mom!
    • [unrated version] Whoa, MILF!
  • [in his old age] Chuck Norris rules.
  • Damn that Superman plot!

Others

  • Willy: Who wants to chew my gumballs?
  • Peter: Monobrow! Monobrow! King wants a monobrow!
  • Peter: [as Superman] You shot me in the fuckin' eye! That really hurts! Why would you do that?! That was so unnecessary! You bastard!
  • Kanye West look-alike: [while Lucy is viewing the camera from Mr. Tumnus] The White Bitch doesn't care about black people.
  • Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Shit, bitch, I'm always yellin'! I'm Samuel motherf**kin' Jackson!
  • Borat look-alike: Jagshemash! My name-a Borat. You did it! You made moviefilm have happy ending! [the water wheel runs over the orphans] Not!
  • White Bitch: I hate those fuckin' kids.
  • Paris Hilton look-alike: I'm so hot. [yells as she gets crushed by Susan, who was thrown off the plane]
  • Mr. Tumnus : Screw Gnarnia!
  • White Bitch: [trying to read] The...keeds...have...esca-pe-duh.

Dialogue

Ashton Kutcher look-a-like: Yes! (jumps in with camera crew) Yes! You just got Punk'd! Yes! Yes! Yeah, he did it! He did it! C'mere, say it to the camera! Say it to the camera, c'mon, say it right there! (Edward stutters) Say it!
Edward: I-I just--I just got Punk'd.
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: Ah! Schwow!
[Change to "Punk'd"-like skit]
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: [making exaggerated moves mocking Ashton Kutcher's "Punk'd" skits] Yeah! We just Punk'd Edward! Schwow! Schwow! Yeah! That was awesome! Yeah! Yes! This thing, up here, it's all me, baby! The trucker hat! That's awesome! I did it! You love it! You'll take it! Punk'd him!
[Change back to previous scene]
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: [gibbering excitedly still over the joke] Oh, my gosh, that was really funny! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! [continues gibbering]
Edward: [yelling in fury] Dude, you are so annoying! (Punches Ashton, knocking him down and shutting him up)
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: [gets up after a few seconds, resuming his gibberish and his crazy movements] But, oh, my gosh! That was really funny! [continues gibbering]
Edward: [keeps punching him; Ashton replies with a "Schwow!" with every punch, until Ashton falls over] Corny-ass trucker hat!
Ashton Kutcher look-alike: [flicks snow up at Edward in a childish manner] Schwow! Schwow....

White Bitch: Behold, my White Castle. [she points to a White Castle restaurant across from them]
Edward: White Castle? I think I've been there before.

Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Edward: Uh-huh.
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts! There's gonna be a little itty-bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally!

Peter: [about the frozen White Bitch] We will create a democratic society, and give her a fair trail, and--
[Jack Swallows comes rolling by on the wooden wheel and runs over the Bitch]
Captain Jack Swallows: Take that, bitch!
Peter: [Pauses] Ah, screw her anyways.

Peter: We have something the White Bitch doesn't.
Lucy: Perky breasts?

Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: So have I!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: Enough is enough! I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Right!
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!
Susan: Why do you keep saying that?
Samuel L. Jackson look-alike: 'Cause Internet bloggers love when I say "I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!"

"Harry Potter": Welcome! My name is Harry Potter!
Susan: Aren't you a little old to still be in school?
"Harry Potter": Nonsense. I am but 14. [he looks at least 30] As are my two best friends, Ron and Hermione!

Silas: (in Latin) Habeas corpus. E pluribus unum. (English subtitles) I'm-a gonna drop you like K-Fed!

[Peter removes his jacket and wing straps]
Cyclops: He's unleashing his powers!
Storm: He's gonna spread angel wings!
[Peter squwaks like a chicken and turns around showing the small-sized wings on his back; then everyone starts laughing]
Mystique: More like chicken wings!
Magneto: Break it up. Break it up. You all know Peter is too much of a pussy to stand up for himself.

Peter: [to Mystique] Would you like to come to the homecoming dance with me?
Mystique: As if.

Harry Beaver: May I present the kings and queens of Gnarnia: Peter, the Heroic; Susan, the Just; Edward, the Loyal; and Lucy, the Dumb-shit!

Silas: (in Latin) In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. (English subtitles) I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass!

Silas: (in Latin) Persona non grata. Magna cum laude. (English subtitles) Fo-sheezy, White Beezy.

Silas: (in Latin) Urts-hay oh-say ood-gay! (English subtitles) Beat me like Bobby beats Whitney! (allegedly)

Silas: (in Latin) Et tu, Brute? (English subtitles) I'm Rick James, bitch!

Edward: Captain Morgan! I love your rum.
Captain Jack Swallows: No. Captain Jack Swallows at your service.
Edward: Jack Swallows? That's kinda gay, dude.

Aslo: Have your Dr. Phil moment later. Now, get outta here!

Edward: I even got a tattoo with your name on it! [takes off his shirt, exposing what appears to be 50 Cent's tattoo]
White Bitch: That looks more like 50 Cent's tattoo, you idiot.
Edward: Shit! They did the wrong one!

Aslo: Where you goin', doll-face? I just took my Cialis!
Aslo's girl: Screw you, Aslo!

"Hermione": Hope you chicks are on the pill. Harry likes to get wasted, then show off his "sorcerer's stones". [farts]
Susan: They are definitely too old to still be doin' this shit!

Edward: I'm going to be a lucha libre wrestler!
Nacho Libre: You think you are better than the other orphans? [takes off his robe] Nacho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...cheese Doritos are delicious!

White Bitch: This crystal will finally put an end to the resistance. I will start a series of earthquakes that will collapse all of Gnarnia and grow a new continent where only I and my followers will live.
Bink: Yo, Bitch, that's pretty much the plot of Superman Returns.
White Bitch: Pretty much, yeah.

Lucy: I don't get it.
Man in "The Last Supper": You're all related! Brothers and sisters! You're a family, for Christ's sake! [Jesus rolls his eyes] Sorry.

Lauren Conrad: Nice hair, Rogue. [Rogue touches her, causing her to fall to the ground, seemingly dead]

Edward: Now we're gonna be stuck here 'til we die.
Peter: Shut up, Edward! You're scaring her.
Edward: Don't tell me what to do! You're not my father!

Susan: Let us out, freak!
Lucy: Let us out, freak!
Willy: No, no. I can't do that.
Susan: Yes, you can!

Peter [to Lucy]: What are you doing?
Lucy: Willy told me he wanted his knob polished.
Susan: Dumb ass.

Susan: I never had anyone. I raised myself.
Lucy: That's why you have such a tough exterior!

Lyrics

Lazy Pirate Day

Yo, yo, yo
check this out
Lazy Pirate Day
Set sail in the afternoon
We got these dope-ass grillz
From melted doubloons
I named my ship Fantasia
After the American Idol winner
You should have named it Studdard
Yeah, yeah, boy
That's one big brother!
Seacrest out, out, out
We are the Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Yes, the Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
You love us Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Bruckheimer's Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Check me out, boys
I got real big *beep*
I know all you Pirates
Wanna *beep*
Thinkin' about puttin' ya *beep*
In my *beep*
I know you're gettin' *beep*
When ya *beep*
In my *beep beep*
Oh yeah
Take out your swords and *beep beep beep*
*beep beep beep beep*
Lick *beep beep*
And suck *beep beep*
We are the Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Yes, the Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
You love us Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Bruckheimer's Pirates (What?)
Of the Caribbean
Word to the Kraken!

Taglines

  • We Know It's Big. We Measured.

Cast

External links

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:

Simple English

Epic Movie
Directed by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Produced by Paul Schiff
Written by Jason Friedberg
Aaron Seltzer
Starring Jayma Mays
Jennifer Coolidge
Adam Campbell
Faune A. Chambers
Crispin Glover
Darrell Hammond
Kal Penn
Fred Willard
Tim Lockwood
David Lehre
Music by Edward Shearmur
Cinematography Shawn Maurer
Editing by Peck Prior
Distributed by 20th Century Fox
Release date(s) January 26, 2007
Running time Original theatrical version
85 minutes
Unrated version
89 minutes
Country United States
Canada
Language English
Budget $20 million
Gross revenue $86,865,564 (Worldwide)
Preceded by Date Movie (2006)
Followed by Meet the Spartans (2008)

Epic Movie is a 2007 American parody film directed and written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. It was made by Paul Schiff. It was made in a similar style to Date Movie, Friedberg and Seltzer's film before they made this one. The film mostly references The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and Tim Burton's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Box office

Epic Movie started at number 1 at the box office. It made $18.6 million over the first weekend.[1] As of May 8, 2007 the film has made $86,865,564. Although, it got bad reviews from reviewers.[2]

References

Other websites

Epic Movie on the Internet Movie Database








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