Erotic sexual denial: Wikis


Note: Many of our articles have direct quotes from sources you can cite, within the Wikipedia article! This article doesn't yet, but we're working on it! See more info or our list of citable articles.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Erotic sexual denial, also known as orgasm denial, is a sexual practice in which a person is kept in a heightened state of sexual arousal for an extended length of time, without being allowed to orgasm, and is commonly practiced in association with BDSM and sexual bondage. Erotic sexual denial is a more extreme form of orgasm control, in which the subject is ultimately allowed to climax.

An alternative form of erotic sexual denial is the total denial of all genital stimulation. To ensure a total denial of stimulation, a couple may use a chastity device that physically prevents touch to the genitals and/or full erection.


Short-term denial practices

Tease and denial

Tease and denial describes a situation where a person's genitals are stimulated until he/she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or "edge" of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end.

If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a "ruined orgasm", as opposed to being a "denied orgasm" (sometimes known as "blue balls"). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction ("blocked orgasm"). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.

Tie and tease

To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situations involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

Non-orgasmic ejaculation

As an alternative technique, it is said to be possible for a man to be trained to ejaculate, but to do so without achieving orgasm. This technique requires practice and discipline on the man's part. One key to the technique is to remove all stimulation of the penis at the exact moment when an orgasm would otherwise be achieved; the result is a full expulsion of semen but without the concomitant relief; this is sometimes called a spoiled orgasm. According to websites on the subject, this technique enables a man to be kept in a state of denial indefinitely, yet maintains prostate health more thoroughly than the alternative technique of prostate milking.

Total denial

The practice of total sexual denial is where a person is prevented from enjoying any sexually stimulation by way of touch to the genitals. This may involve the person being made to wear a device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. The person may or may not be brought to arousal through other means, depending on the situation.

Long term denial

Frequency of masturbation is determined by many factors, e.g., one's resistance to sexual tension, hormone levels influencing sexual arousal, sexual habits, peer influences, health and one's attitude to masturbation formed by culture.[1] Medical causes have also been associated with masturbation.[2][3][4]

Different studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans. Alfred Kinsey's studies have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan.[5] Similar results have been found in British national probability survey. It was found that 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives. 73% of men and 37% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before their interview, while 53% of men and 18% of women reported masturbating in previous seven days.[6]

It is widely believed that abstaining from orgasm via masturbation or sexual activities will induce a sleeping orgasm. However the frequency of one's nocturnal emissions has not been conclusively linked to frequency of masturbation. Widely-known sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found "There may be some correlation between the frequencies of masturbation and the frequencies of nocturnal dreams. In general the males who have the highest frequencies of nocturnal emissions may have somewhat lower rates of masturbation. Some of these males credit the frequent emissions to the fact that they do not masturbate; but it is just as likely that the reverse relationship is true, namely, that they do not masturbate because they have frequent emissions."[7] For women the correlation is also short of conclusive; "According to Kinsey's findings, women who suddenly lost the opportunity for several coital orgasms per week had only a few more orgasms in their sleep per year."[8]

Subjects can be kept in denial indefinitely (periods around two to four weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking). Many, however, suggest that this is very subjective, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as three days or a week between release instead—especially when starting.

Beyond that, the long term consequences for denial are unclear, although there are negative effects implied by a recent Australian study[9], which found that frequent masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer in men.

Most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as "prostatic milking") to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, muscular atrophy (orgasm involves the prostate muscles), or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic, which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.

Normally, during sexual arousal, ejaculatory fluid accumulates in the male accessory sex glands—the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands (or Cowper's gland)—backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.

Without orgasm, prostate milking may be used to help flush out the buildup of toxins which accumulate within the prostate gland. This can be done by allowing ejaculation without orgasm. As most men need penile stimulation to reach the latter, this milking can be done without risk of orgasm.

Ruined orgasm

A ruined orgasm is a technique usually used by the stimulator who is dominating the stimulated during the sexual practice of orgasm denial. The object of orgasm denial is to deny the submissive an orgasm over a long period of time or to allow him or her to orgasm but make it unsatisfactory, awkward or even painful to experience therefore asserting the dominant position of the dominant in the sexual relationship.

This technique allows the physical release of sexual climax while denying or minimizing the satisfaction and pleasure associated with orgasm. The sub is stimulated to the moment that orgasm is inevitable. Stimulation is then stopped by breaking all physical contact with the genitals the moment orgasm begins (i.e. past the "edge"). Alternatively, the stimulator may bring up decidedly non-erotic or nonsexual topics during the orgasm, inflicting non-erotic pain, or stimulating the submissive with an unpleasant smell.

Another technique is to interfere with the orgasm by some sort of constriction. Ruined orgasms expanded to include such methods as Thumbing, Palming, Dictating, Thwacking and several more unpleasant ways for an orgasm to be disrupted or "ruined". Many of these methods are merely disruptive physical actions that come after psychological or emotional trickery has taken place on the part of the dominant. Deception can play a key role in the effectiveness of a ruined orgasm.

When performed on a man, this practice allows the release of seminal fluid and physical sexual release, but keeps the man in a state of arousal because the orgasm is never psychologically "actualized". Because stimulation is not continued through the orgasm, that man is left still in a state of want, which allows continued stimulation after a very brief period, unlike after the actualized or completed orgasm which may require a considerably longer refractory period.

When performed on a woman, the effect is similar, but without the ejaculation typical of the male response. The woman experiences orgasmic contractions (though typically less intense than with continued stimulation), but again, the orgasm is never psychologically "actualized", and the orgasm is considered non-satisfactory. The woman so affected is thus kept in a state of want for a "full" orgasm. Because of the relatively short refractory period in most women compared to that of most men, this practice can often be done many times over a short period of time. If the woman is afterward given a "full" orgasm with stimulation continuing into the orgasmic contractions (and gently afterward, depending on the specific woman), the resulting orgasm is generally very powerful and lasts longer than would be typical.

Erotic denial as a form of control

Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.

Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant males and females to exercise control and training over a highly intimate and psychologically significant part of their partners' lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation, and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. This technique gives the dominant partner enjoyable feelings of control and power.

Orgasm denial as a means of orgasm control is widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The dominant will often deny the sissy (the submissive male) sexual release in order to maintain a heightened state of sexual arousal, or as a means to further emasculate and humiliate the submissive.

See also


  1. ^ E. Heiby and J. Becker examined the latter. See Heiby, E.; Becker J.D. (April 1980). "Effect of filmed modeling on the self-reported frequency of masturbation". Arch Sex Behav (Plenum Press) 9 (2): 115–21. doi:10.1007/BF01542263. ISSN 0004-0002. PMID 7396686. Retrieved 15 June 2009.  
  2. ^ De Alwis, A.C.; Senaratne A.M., De Silva S.M., Rodrigo V.S. (September 2006). "Bladder calculus presenting as excessive masturbation". Ceylon Med. J. (Ceylon Medical Association) 51 (3): 121–2. ISSN 0009-0875. PMID 17315592.  
  3. ^ Ozmen, Mine; Ayten Erdogan, Sirin Duvenci, Emin Ozyurt, Cigdem Ozkara (February 2004). "Excessive masturbation after epilepsy surgery". Epilepsy Behavior (Elsevier) 5 (1): 133–136. doi:10.1016/j.yebeh.2003.10.009. ISSN 1525-5050. PMID 14751219. Retrieved 15 June 2009.  
  4. ^ Lopez-Meza, Elmer; Teresa Corona-Vazquez, Luis A. Ruano-Calderon, and Jesus Ramirez-Bermudez (December 2005). "Severe impulsiveness as the primary manifestation of multiple sclerosis in a young female". Psychiatry Clin. Neurosci. (Blackwell Publishing) 59 (6): 739–42. doi:10.1111/j.1440-1819.2005.01446.x. ISSN 1323-1316. PMID 16401253. Retrieved 15 June 2009.  
  5. ^ Kinsey, A.
  6. ^ Gerressu, M.; Mercer, C.H., Graham, C.A., Wellings, K. and Johnson, A.M. (April 2008). "Prevalence of Masturbation and Associated Factors in a British National Probability Survey". Arch Sex Behav (Plenum Press) 37 (2): 266–78. doi:10.1007/s10508-006-9123-6. ISSN 0004-0002. PMID 17333329.  
  7. ^ Kinsey, Alfred; p. 511.
  8. ^ Haeberle, Erwin J. The Sex Atlas, Revised and Expanded. "Orgasm During Sleep". New York: The Continuum Publishing Company, 1983. ISBN 0-8264-0178-3. ISBN 0-8264-0057-4.
  9. ^ Giles, G.G.; G. Severi, D.R. English, M.R.E. McCredie, R. Borland, P. Boyle and J.L. Hopper (August 2003). "Sexual factors and prostate cancer". BJU International (Blackwell Science) 92 (3): 211–216. doi:10.1046/j.1464-410X.2003.04319.x. ISSN 1464-4096. PMID 12887469. Retrieved 15 June 2009.  


  • Addison, Ken (2004). Around Her Finger.
  • This article incorporates text from the article on Ruined orgasm in Wipipedia, the free-content Fetish and BDSM encyclopedia.

Got something to say? Make a comment.
Your name
Your email address