Evan Almighty: Wikis


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Evan Almighty
Film poster with the front part of an ark sitting in front of the Washington, D.C. monuments in the background. On top of the ark is a variety of animals facing left, including pairs of baboons, camels, elephants, giraffes, and a bird flying above the ark. Situated on top of the first elephant is a man wearing a tan robe, also looking left while his left hand is on his waist and his right hand is lifted up. In the background is blue, cloudy skies with sunlight shining towards the ark. "From the director of Bruce Almighty" is present at the top of the poster, and at the bottom are the title, cast and production credits, and the release date.
Theatrical Release Poster
Directed by Tom Shadyac
Produced by Gary Barber
Roger Birnbaum
Michael Bostick
Neal H. Moritz
Tom Shadyac
Associate producer
Janet L. Wattles
Jason Wilson
Ori Marmur
Amanda Morgan Palmer
Jonathan Watson
Executive producer
Gary Goetzman
Tom Hanks
Ilona Herzberg
Matt Luber
Dave Phillips
Written by Steve Oedekerk
Joel Cohen
Alec Sokolow

Steve Oedekerk
Steve Koren
Mark O'Keefe
Starring Steve Carell
Morgan Freeman
Lauren Graham
John Goodman
Wanda Sykes
Molly Shannon
Graham Phillips
Music by John Debney
Cinematography Ian Baker
Editing by Scott Hill
Studio Spyglass Entertainment
Shady Acres Entertainment
Original Film
Distributed by Universal Pictures
Release date(s) June 22, 2007 (2007-06-22)
Running time 90 minutes
Country United States
Language English
Budget $200 million
Gross revenue $173,418,781
Preceded by Bruce Almighty

Evan Almighty is a 2007 American religious comedy film, and sequel to Bruce Almighty. It was directed by Tom Shadyac and stars Steve Carell and Morgan Freeman reprising his role as God. The film was released in cinemas on June 22, 2007. After jumping from Jim Carrey to Carell as lead actor, production of the film began in January 2006. Several visual effect companies were used to provide CGI for the numerous animals and climactic flood scene at the end of the film.

Shadyac focused on ensuring the film made a positive environmental impact during filming and, along with Universal Pictures, stressed the animals' conditions were acceptable despite PETA objections. Evan Almighty had its premiere on June 10, 2007. An immense budget made the film the most expensive comedy film produced at the time. The film received generally negative reviews.[1][2]


Plot summary

Newly elected to Congress, former local television newsman Evan Baxter (Carell) leaves his hometown of Buffalo, New York and shepherds his family to suburban northern Virginia, where his congressional campaign declares he will change the world without explaining how he will do so. On his first job, he meets Marty (John Michael Higgins), Rita Daniels (Wanda Sykes), and top congressman Chuck Long (John Goodman). Soon after his arrival, strange things start to happen: animals follow Evan without any apparent reason; he grows a beard that immediately reappears no matter how many times he shaves; eight vacant lots in Evan's neighborhood are purchased in his name; ancient tools and wood are sent to his house; and the number "614" appears everywhere he goes.

Evan soon learns the number indicates a verse in the Book of Genesis, in which God (Freeman) instructs Noah to build a replica of Noah's Ark in preparation for a deluge. His family initially believes he is having an extraordinary mid-life crisis; later, his sons suspect something greater is occurring and assist him in the construction of the ark, although his wife Joan (Lauren Graham) does not. Reappearing, God tells Evan the flood will come at noon on September 22.

Film screenshot showing two men are sitting inside the partially-built ark. The man on the left has his hands resting in his lap and is wearing a tan robe and has a long, brown beard. The man on the right is wearing all white and has his arms crossed. He has a black and white mix goatee and hair. In the background is blue, slightly cloudy skies.
Evan and God sitting in the half-built Ark. Research was done to give Evan's costume an authentic, ancient look.[3] Some controversy focused on God's being portrayed in human form, as seen here.[4]

Animals later follow Evan to Congress, and when he explains the reason for this, Long removes Evan's name from the Congress bill that he is cosponsoring with him. Joan, upon seeing a news report that features the Ark, takes her sons to the house decides to leave Evan because she believes he is insane. Evan then builds the Ark alone, gaining international notice. Some time after Joan leaves Evan, God appears to her as a waiter at a diner, wearing a name tag displaying "Al Mighty". In this guise, he tells her God does not give things, but only the opportunity by which to obtain things, citing togetherness of families as one of these things. Seeing his meaning, Joan returns to Evan to finish the Ark together. Meanwhile, word reaches Evan that Long has commissioned a dam and has cut corners in doing so.

On September 22, Evan loads hundreds of animals onto the newly finished ark in front of live news crews and nearby citizens. Minutes pass wherein is no sign of rain, provoking the spectators' scorn. A large rainstorm does come, but is brief. Evan takes this as a sign of the coming deluge, but is proven wrong. Joan tells Evan to leave the Ark; Evan, however, remembers Congressman Long's dam, which he fears may burst. As he thinks on this, the dam does burst, flooding the streets. At this, all spectators and policeman board the ark, which sails down the streets of Washington, D.C. on the floodwaters of the lake until it eventually lands touching the front of the Capitol. Evan then tells Long that the flood was caused by his poor design of the dam, which incites the other congressmen present to turn against Long. As investigations on Long are occurring, Evan and his family later go on a hiking trip, during which God reappears to Evan, telling him that the way to change the world is by doing one Act of Random Kindness ("ARK") at a time.




The film's screenplay was originally titled The Passion of the Ark, and was written by Bobby Florsheim and Josh Stolberg.[5] It became the subject of a seven-studio bidding war in April 2004. The script was sold to Sony Pictures in a deal worth $2,500,000 plus a percentage of the profits, a record for a spec script from previously unproduced writers.[6] Universal Studios immediately made a deal to co-produce the script with Sony and have Steve Oedekerk rewrite it into the sequel to Bruce Almighty. Steve Oedekerk had previously been involved with Bruce Almighty as an executive producer and co-writer of the screenplay (with Steve Koren and Mark O'Keefe, who wrote the story). The studio later discarded the original The Passion of the Ark script completely, and Oedekerk fashioned a new script from scratch (only he received final credit on the finished film as screenwriter). Jim Carrey was asked to reprise his role as Bruce in the sequel, and when he declined, director Tom Shadyac convinced Steve Carell to accept the leading role in the sequel.[7] Shadyac, reflecting on the first film, stated "[Carell] delivered some of the funniest stuff in the movie. We thought, ‘Why not take that character and spin him off into a different film?’".[3]


Jim Carrey and Jennifer Aniston both declined to reprise their roles from Bruce Almighty. Although he did act in a sequel to Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Carrey has said he is "not a big fan of doing the same character twice."[8] This marks the third time (following Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd and Son of the Mask) that a sequel has been made to a film in which Jim Carrey declined to reprise his role.


The initial budget, at approximately $140 million, led Evan Almighty to become the most expensive comedy movie ever made. Added costs such as set construction, visual effects, and problems with filming multiple animals in a controlled location brought the budget up to $175 million.[9] Once marketing for the film was also included, the film's entire budget was estimated to be around $200 million.[10] The ballooning budget caused Sony to drop the project and hand it over entirely to Universal Studios.[9] Part of the budget was Carell's payroll, where he earned a reported $5 million for his leading role.[8] The Virginia Film Office estimates the film brought $20–25 million to Virginia, with the majority of it in the Charlottesville area.[11]

Ark design and construction

The partially built ark is shown with crew members standing around on top of it. A large cherry picker is on the left side of the image, and a wooden crane is visible on the right side. On top of the ark is a large canopy raised by a large crane. In the background is blue, cloudy skies.
The ark being prepared for filming a scene

Construction of the ark began in January 2006 and the scenes involving the ark were shot in a Crozet, Virginia subdivision called Old Trail.[3] The ark was designed to meet the actual measurements of the biblical ark, measuring 450 feet (140 m) long, 80 feet (24 m) wide, and 51 feet (16 m) high.[8] The ark's layout was also based on pictures in several children's books that crew members had read in their childhoods.[3] When the characters were filmed during the day building the ark or were on location elsewhere, crew members would further construct the ark at night.[3] A concrete base was built to support the weight of the large ark; after filming was completed, the ark was taken down in a week, and the base in another week.[3]

In disassembling the set, everything that was salvageable from the ark was donated to Habitat for Humanity. "Leave no trace" was the slogan used by the director as part of the DVD's bonus features, "The Almighty Green Set".

Costumes and filming locations

To create Evan's beard and long hair, three designers would take three hours each day adding individual hairs using prosthetic adhesive and making Carell wear custom wigs. The wigs consisted of both human and yak hair.[12] With his new look, Carell was sometimes nicknamed "Mountain Man", "Retrosexual", or "Unabomber."[12] For his costumes, designers spoke with textile experts, researched historical information on the clothing that was likely worn at the time of Noah, and used aged fibers for the clothing.[3]

The fully constructed ark is at the center of the image with a downcast sky. A large ramp on the left side of the image is leading up into the ark. In the foreground of the image is a paved street.
The ark used for filming was located in Crozet, Virginia.

Scenes for the film were filmed in various locations in Virginia, including areas in and around Crozet, Waynesboro, Richmond, Charlottesville, and Staunton, though some filming did take place at Universal Studios in Hollywood, California.[13]


For the CGI used throughout the film, companies Rhythm & Hues (R&H) and Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) developed different parts of the film. R&H focused on the animation of the animals, while ILM completed the final scene of the ark rushing through Washington D.C.[14] Lindy De Quattro, the ILM associate visual effects supervisor, revealed that "This is the first time where we had to do a whole series of shots that were happening mid-day, where you were going to get a really long look at the water and what it was doing."[14] The company initially experienced problems creating the water effects and had to develop new tools which would choreograph the movements of the water. In addition, ILM used similar tools that were used on their prior film Poseidon.[14] Lighting was also an issue as the characters on the ark had been filmed on a greenscreen stage, and the visual effects company had to ensure that the lighting matched that of the characters and the outside setting. Details were added to the ark for long-distance shots to make the design of the ark more appealing and relate the ark's size to scale in comparison to the amount of water. To complete the scene, ILM used thirty to sixty crew members and produced 200 shots over a yearlong period between April 2006 and May 2007.[14]

Rhythm & Hues created 300 pairs of animals for use on the ark and fifteen pairs with higher detail for closeup shots.[3] R&H was also assisted by C.I.S. Hollywood, another visual effects company, who provided a large number of composites, involving hundreds of greenscreen animal elements.[3] In scenes where there are multiple species of animals, crew members would film the animals on the greenscreen and R&H and C.I.S would digitally add the animals one at a time, sometimes taking several weeks to a couple months. Andy Arnett, the animation supervisor, declared that "The research was extensive. It took six or seven months to perfect the look and feel of the animals before we had the first shot out the door."[3]

For the scene in Congressman Long's office, CGI was used the entire time for the fish that follow Evan around from the fish tank. CafeFX, the visual effects company hired for the scene, ordered ten different kinds of tropical fish from a local store and studied their movements to imitate them on screen using computer animation. Jeff Goldman, the visual effects supervisor, stated "Early in the sequence, we mimicked the actual behavior of the fish in our animation, but as the scene plays out, the fish are a counterpoint to Steve Carell's comedic timing."[15]


In late May during production, the media learned that director Tom Shadyac angrily complained to producers, saying "I'm not seeing any ads, and I don't know why. I'm not getting answers. People are giving me information that isn't true...I'm only hearing about all the other summer movies, and nothing about mine."[16] Shadyac also fired his marketing consultants that he had used for prior films due to his thoughts over the mishandling of the marketing. He later apologized for his outburst with producers, and claimed that it was as a result of his nervousness before the film's release.[17]

Grace Hill Media, a marketing firm that targets religious Americans, held exclusive screenings of the film in mid-June in fifty cities in the United States to reach religious moviegoers.[17] The firm was also used for marketing Bruce Almighty, The Da Vinci Code, and The Passion of the Christ.[18] Grace Hill provided free screenings to blogs in exchange for publicity on the blogs.[18]

The first trailer of the film premiered on March 29, 2007 for a The Office marathon, which also stars Steve Carell and Ed Helms.[19] For online advertising, an eight-minute clip of a scene was released on Yahoo! two days before the release of the film.[20] The premiere for the film was held on June 10, 2007 and guests included Adam Sandler, David Hasselhoff, Kate Flannery, Eddie Murphy, Kevin James, and Mindy Kaling, among others.[21]

Environmental impact

Director Tom Shadyac felt the film reflected environmental themes of how humans are stewards of God's creation. In keeping with the themes, Evan Almighty became NBC Universal’s first film to offset the production's carbon emissions.[22] Producer Michael Bostick revealed how the emissions were offset:

"We worked closely with The Conservation Fund to calculate our carbon emissions from what we used on the movie—whether from vehicles used or any of the construction equipment. Once our carbon emissions were calculated, we planted trees that will effectively zero out our climate-changing footprint left behind from the movie."[3]

Shadyac accomplished this by requiring crew members to plant 2,050 trees at the Rappahannock River Valley National Wildlife Refuge in Warsaw, Virginia and the San Joaquin River National Wildlife Refuge near Modesto, California.[3] He also bought bikes for all the cast and crew.[23] In addition, rather than simply demolishing sets, Shadyac tried to donate houses built for the production and had the Ark set recycled, by donating materials to Habitat for Humanity.[22] During the premiere of the film for cast and crew at Universal Citywalk, the attendees were encouraged to donate to a campaign to plant trees in forests around the world. The after party used recycled cups and plates to offset the use of resources.[24] Shadyac also required that when Industrial Light & Magic developed the final climatic scene, that the CGI flood did not appear to harm any of the trees in the scene.[14]

The film partnered with the website Get On Board Now, which focused on the importance of conservation during production of the film. Donations were taken at the website for The Conservation Fund, which paid for the planting of 15,000 trees.[22]

Animal welfare concerns

Two Asian elephants are at the center of the image, side-by-side. Two men on opposite sides (holding thin, metal poles) are guiding the elephants through orange cones on the dirt ground. In the background is grass and trees and a overcast sky.
Two elephants being trained for filming

The American Humane Association oversaw the 177 species of animals that were used in the film.[3] In scenes including both predators and prey, the animals were digitally added instead to ensure their safety.[25] The American Humane Association gave its permission for the film to display "No animals were harmed in the making of this movie" over the closing credits.[26]

Animal rights organization PETA accused the film's producers of using animals that had previously been abused. Two chimpanzees who appear in the movie, Cody and Sable, were surrendered by their owner to settle a lawsuit that documented allegations of beatings and mistreatment.[27] The film's director, Tom Shadyac, said of PETA’s criticisms "They’re not wrong. There’s a certain amount of hypocrisy whenever you work with animals, even to show, which we hope we’re showing, that respect of all of God’s creation...I don’t know. I respect their criticism."[28] PETA was also critical of Birds & Animals Unlimited, the primary animal supplier to the film, for alleged serious and continuing violations of the U.S. Animal Welfare Act, including failure to comply with veterinary care requirements and failure to provide shelter from heat and sunlight, which PETA details and claims it can document.[29] A Universal Studios spokesperson declared:

"The live animals used in the filming of Evan Almighty were supplemented by a great number of computer-generated animals, but it would have been impossible to depend on CGI exclusively as some key scenes in the film demonstrate the need for peaceful and productive co-existence between man and animals. One of the most prominent, inescapable messages of the film is the responsibility that humans have to protect and care for animals."[30]



Evan Almighty received poor reviews from multiple critics and viewers. The film has a 23% approval rating based on 184 reviews from critics at the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, and an 8% rating from its "Top Critics".[1][31] At the website MetaCritic, which utilizes a normalized rating system, the film earned a rating of 37/100 based on 33 reviews.[2] Richard Roeper in his review of the film commended Jim Carrey for not reprising his role in "three of the worst sequels of all time", which included Dumb and Dumberer, Son of the Mask, and Evan Almighty. He continued: "Evan Almighty is a paper-thin alleged comedy with a laugh drought of biblical proportions, and a condescendingly simplistic spiritual message."[32] Several reviews credit Carell's performance to significantly improving the humor of the film.[33][34] Peter Travers of Rolling Stone declared the film the year's Worst Epic on his list of the Worst Movies of 2007.[35]

Before Evan Almighty was released, it was nominated for "Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet" at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. Competing against seven other nominees, it lost to Transformers.[36] According to box office figures, the film is the second highest-grossing film about "Supernatural Comedies with Religious Elements" according to Box Office Mojo, directly behind Bruce Almighty.[37]


Malaysia's Muslim Consumers Association (PPIM) called for a ban on the film, claiming it is offensive to Islam. Secretary-General Maamor Osman claimed that the film was depicting the great flood as comedy and characterized God with the portrayal of a human, both of which are insulting to Islam. Similarly there was some public protest against Bruce Almighty being shown in theaters, but that movie was released on DVD and is now shown on television broadcasts. Evan Almighty was still released in Malaysia on August 23, 2007.[4]

Box office

Though Evan Almighty was very hyped, especially with churchgoers,[38][39] and had a budget double that of Bruce Almighty, it performed under expectations. On its first weekend, it opened in 5,200 screens in 3,604 theaters and earned about $31.1 million[40] (on its first two opening days the film earned $11.4 million and $8.3 million on Sunday).[38] The opening was less than half of the first film's $68 million weekend ($85 million counting Memorial Day).[10] Nikki Rocco, the president of distribution for Universal Pictures declared "We never expected it to be much higher...it is not unusual for family films to open at a level like this and build. This film will have legs."[10] Despite the unfavorable opening, it managed to remain at the third spot at the box office in its second week, before dropping to fifth place in its third week.[41]

Internationally, the film also opened in first place in Russia and Ukraine, earning $1.5 million in Russia with 329 venues and $179,000 in Ukraine at 64 locations. The gross in the opening weekends for the two countries was 10% and 11%, respectively, bigger than the opening for Bruce Almighty.[38] Altogether, the film has earned $173,391,888 worldwide with $100,462,298 in the U.S. and $72,929,590 in the international box office.[42]

Home media

The film was released on HD DVD and DVD on October 9, 2007[43] and was the fourth-most rented DVD of the week earning $6.41 million.[44] In the film's first six weeks of release it earned $27,676,676 in domestic DVD sales.[45] The HD-DVD and DVD's special features include deleted scenes, outtakes, cast interviews, and footage of the animals used in the film.


Evan Almighty: Music from the Soundtrack
Soundtrack by Various Artists
Released July 3, 2007
Label Curb Records
Professional reviews

The score for the film debuted on June 19, 2007, several days before the film's U.S. release, while the soundtrack debuted on July 3, 2007.

  1. "Ready For A Miracle" (LeAnn Rimes)
  2. "One Love" (Jo Dee Messina)
  3. "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" (John Fogerty)
  4. "Walk On Water" (Blue County)
  5. "Spirit in the Sky" (Plumb)
  6. "The Power Of One" (Bomshel)
  7. "Be the Miracle" (Room for Two)
  8. "God Makes Stars" (Hal Ketchum)
  9. "This Land Is Your Land" (The Mike Curb Congregation)
  10. "Never Give Up" (Tracy Edmond)
  11. "Revolution" (Rascal Flatts)A
  12. "Revolution" (Stone Temple Pilots)
  13. "Sharp Dressed Man" (Jo Dee Messina)
  14. "Sharp Dressed Man" (ZZ Top)
  15. "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" (C+C Music Factory)
  16. "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" (Creedence Clearwater Revival)

A"Revolution" was performed by Rascal Flatts in the film, but their version is not on the soundtrack. Also not included on the soundtrack are Elton John's 2006 hit, "Just Like Noah's Ark" of which only a little bit is heard during the start of building the ark, and John Mayer's "Waiting on the World to Change", used in the main ark-building montage.


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  2. ^ a b "Evan Almighty". Metacritic. http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/evanalmighty?q=Evan%20Almighty. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  3. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l m "EvanAlmighty" (PDF). Universal Pictures. http://media.movieweb.com/galleries/3843/notes.pdf. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  4. ^ a b "Malaysian Muslims call for ban on movie". WorldWide Religious News. http://www.wwrn.org/article.php?idd=25648&sec=75&con=22. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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  9. ^ a b Muñoz, Lorenza (October 9, 2006). "Budget Overruns of Biblical Proportions". Los Angeles Times. http://web.archive.org/web/20061019065820/www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-fi-evan9oct09,0,2164715.story?coll=cl-movies. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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  11. ^ Kitchin, Jessica (May 31, 2006). ""Evan Almighty" helping area businesses boom". Star Exponent.com. http://www.starexponent.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=CSE/MGArticle/CSE_MGArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1137836450841. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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  15. ^ "CafeFX Swims with the Fish for Evan Almighty". VFXWorld. July 10, 2007. http://www.vfxworld.com/?sa=adv&code=3631a5a1&atype=news&id=20334. Retrieved 2008-09-15. 
  16. ^ Weinberg, Scott (June 3, 2007). ""Evan Almighty" Director Clashes With Studio Over Advertising, Source Says". Cinematical. http://www.cinematical.com/2007/06/03/evan-almighty-director-clashes-with-studio-over-advertising-s/. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  17. ^ a b Finke, Nikki (June 1, 2007). "Shadyac Mayhem Over 'Evan' Marketing: Berates Uni Execs, Fires Consulting Team". Deadline Hollywood. http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/tom-shadyac-pitches-fit-over-evan-almighty-marketing-chews-out-uni-execs-fires-consulting-team-then-finally-apologizes/. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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  19. ^ Sciretta, Peter (March 27, 2007). "Evan Almighty Movie Trailer to Premiere During The Office". Film.com. http://www.slashfilm.com/2007/03/27/evan-almighty-movie-trailer-to-premiere-during-the-office/. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  20. ^ Aviles, Omar (June 20, 2007). "Eight Almighty minutes". JoBlo. http://www.joblo.com/eight-almighty-minutes. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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  35. ^ Travers, Peter (December 19, 2007). ""Peter Travers' Best and Worst Movies of 2007"". Rolling Stone. http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/17686508/peter_travers_best_and_worst_movies_of_2007/13. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  36. ^ "2007 MTV Movie Awards Winners". MTV. http://www.mtv.com/ontv/movieawards/ma07/winners.jhtml. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  37. ^ "Comedy - God". Box Office Mojo. http://www.boxofficemojo.com/genres/chart/?id=godcomedy.htm. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  38. ^ a b c Finke, Nikki. "More Sinking Sequels: 'Evan Almighty' Debuts Weak; 'Silver Surfer' Drops -65%". Deadline Hollywood. http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/weekend-bo-so-so-evan-almighty-matinees/. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  39. ^ "Will Churchgoers Flood Theaters This Week?". IMDB News. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0413099/news?year=2007. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
  40. ^ Reuters (June 24, 2007). ""Evan Almighty" cursed at box office". Reuters. http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSN2142858120070624. Retrieved March 14, 2009. 
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External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Evan Almighty is the 2007 sequel to Bruce Almighty about a former TV newsman who, after being elected to Congress, is commanded to build an ark by God because of an oncoming flood.

Directed by Tom Shadyac. Written by Steve Oedekerk.
A comedy of Biblical proportions.taglines
Evan: I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Goodnight.

Rita: [to Evan] Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?

God: How do you change the world?
Evan: One single act of random kindness at a time.
God: [spoken while writing A-R-K on the ground with a stick] One Act, of Random, Kindness.

Evan: Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation?!
Joan:Perhaps God didn't mean a literal flood? What about a flood of knowledge and understanding?
Evan: It can't end this way. If that is the case, I will be so 'pissed'. Something is supposed to happen. I can feel it.
Joan: Yeah. I'll tell you what is going to happen, tear gas and a giant wrecking ball. Please Evan think about the kids.
Ryan: Whatever you say Dad, I'm with you.
Eugene: Me too.
Jordan: Me too. But can we keep some of the animals? I like the Alpaca. He spits.

God: I now issue a new commandment: "Thou shalt do the dance."

(After a short but heavy downpour, the sky clears again with the clouds moving further away.)
Neighbor 1: This was it Baxter?
Neighbor 2: Is your god experiencing a slight water shortage?
Reporter: It would seem that Congressman Baxter was correct about the rain with a slight miscalculation as to the quantity.

God: Tell you what. You build it and I'll fill it. Oh and you might need this. (Holds up a book titled 'Dummy's guide to Ark building')

God: (to Evan) Build the ark. And if anybody asks, just say, a flood is coming.

God: I remember creating this valley. Notice how the mountains lie from east to west.
Evan: Where are we?
God: Don't recognize, eh? This is where you live, son. This is Prestige Crest. I just wanted you to see the original design.
Evan: So, you're... really... HIM?
God: Want more proof? I haven't done the pillar of salt thing in a while.
Evan: No. No. I believe you. But why me?
God: You said you want to change the world.

God: I love that story, Noah and the Ark. You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. They think it’s about God’s wrath and anger. They love it when God gets angry.
Joan: What is the story about, then? The ark?
God: Well, I think it’s a love story about believing in each other. You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side.
Joan: But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?
God: Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.

Rita: You said God told you to do it. (build the Ark)
Evan: Yes.
Rita: But did God tell you to let your friends come down here and make them look stupid? Cuz I go to church every week... Ok, every other week... Alright, I've been to church and that does not sound like God!

Evan: Do we have anything unleavened?
Joan: Yeah, we do. It's in the back, next to the frankincense and myrrh. We have a fancy name for it in this century. It's called pita.


Evan: (Joan and the kids have just left him) I know, I know. Everything you do, you do because you love me. (A sprinkler blasts him in the face) Do me a favor; love me less!

Evan: (With his arms and staff outstretched to the looming Memorial Bridge, as the Ark is fast approaching it.) I command thee halt! Stop! Woah! (Nothing happens) How about a little help here?!
(Suddenly the whole right side of the Ark falls dark, as a massive wave four times the size and height of the Ark rises up and crashes down redirecting its path instantly down Capital Mall.)

Joan: How are we going to do this? There is no way the five of us can finish on time. We don't have any money to hire anyone else?
(A bleating behind her causes them all to look.)
Joan: Is that a llama with a hammer?
Jordan: An alpaca. They rarely spit at people, unless frightened or abused.
(Joan looks back to Evan in amazement)
Evan: (Slinging a chord on rope over his shoulder) Let's finish this sucker.

God: I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me.
Evan: If not for the Ark, my family, the neighbors would have all been gone. I fought you every step of the way.
God: But you did it. You changed the world.
Evan: No. No I didn't.
God: Well lets see. You spent time with your family making them very happy. You gave that dog a home.

Tag lines

  • A comedy of Biblical proportions.
  • Flooding into cinemas soon.
  • Evan help us.
  • Why are all of these animals following Evan Baxter? God only knows.
  • God has a great design. Guess who's building it?


External links

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