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George Carlin
Jesus is coming.. Look Busy (George Carlin).jpg
George Carlin in Trenton, New Jersey on April 4, 2008
Birth name George Denis Patrick Carlin
Born May 12, 1937(1937-05-12)
Manhattan, New York, U.S.
Died June 22, 2008 (aged 71)
Santa Monica, California, U.S.
Medium Stand-up, television, film, books, radio
Nationality American
Years active 1956–2008
Genres Character comedy, Observational comedy, Wit/Word play, Satire/Political satire, Black comedy
Subject(s) American culture, American English, everyday life, recreational drug use, death, philosophy, human behavior, American politics, religion, profanity
Influences Danny Kaye,[1][2] Jonathan Winters,[2] Lenny Bruce,[3][4] Richard Pryor,[5] Jerry Lewis,[2][5] Marx Brothers,[2][5] Mort Sahl,[4] Spike Jones,[5] Ernie Kovacs,[5] Ritz Brothers[2]
Influenced Chris Rock,[6] Jerry Seinfeld,[7], Bill Hicks, Dane Cook, Louis C.K.,[8] Bill Cosby,[9] Lewis Black,[10] Jon Stewart,[11] Stephen Colbert,[12] Bill Maher,[13], Denis Leary, Patrice O'Neal,[14] Adam Carolla,[15] Colin Quinn,[16] Steven Wright,[17] Russell Peters,[18] Jay Leno,[19] Ben Stiller,[19] Kevin Smith[20]
Spouse Brenda Hosbrook
(August 5, 1961 — May 11, 1997) 1 child
Sally Wade
(married June 24, 1998 — June 22, 2008)[21]
Notable works and roles Class Clown
"Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television"
Mr. Conductor
in Shining Time Station
Narrator
in Thomas and Friends
HBO television specials
Rufus in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Signature George Carlin Signature.svg
Website www.georgecarlin.com
Grammy Awards
Best Comedy Recording
1972 FM & AM
2009 It's Bad For Ya[posthumous]
Best Spoken Comedy Album
1993 Jammin' in New York
2001 Brain Droppings
2002 Napalm & Silly Putty
American Comedy Awards
Funniest Male Performer in a TV Special
1997 George Carlin: Back in Town
1998 George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy
Lifetime Achievement Award in Comedy 2001
.George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums.^ PM on June 22, 2008 Damn.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ PM on June 22, 2008 Wow.
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^ PM on June 22, 2008 Shit.
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[22]
.Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects.^ For someone who claims to not know the history of American humor, you got Carlin pegged pretty well there, Dee.
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^ Tim Zielinski, Bloomingburg, New York June 23, 2008 When I heard of George Carlin's death I first thought "well ....
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I was totally impressed with the use of his humor in which he engaged his audience to look at ourselves, religion, politics, abortion, family, children, etc.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. .Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.^ You were central in the Supreme Court case in which justices affirmed the government’s right to regulate your “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television” act on the public airwaves.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

.The first of his 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. In the 1990s and 2000s, Carlin's routines focused on the flaws in modern-day America.^ He also filmed his third HBO special, the aforementioned “Carlin at Carnegie,” which focused on newer material.
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^ He taped his ninth and tenth HBO specials in rapid succession during the following years: 1996’s “Back in Town” was also broadcast live on the network, and 1997’s “George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy” featured a career retrospective of his television stand-up appearances, as well as a tribute and interview by Jon Stewart.
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^ On the comedy front, Carlin taped two more HBO specials – 1986’s “Playin’ with Your Head” and 1988’s “What Am I Doing in New Jersey?” – both of which were also recorded as comedy albums and garnered Grammy nominations.
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He often commented on contemporary political issues in the United States and satirized the excesses of American culture. .His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death.^ I finally got to see him about a year before "It's bad for ya" came out and it was one of the highlights of my life.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ In 2006, Carlin launched a national tour to hone material for his latest HBO special, “It’s Bad for Ya” (2008).
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^ He also filmed his third HBO special, the aforementioned “Carlin at Carnegie,” which focused on newer material.
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.Carlin placed second on the Comedy Central cable television network list of the 100 greatest stand-up comedians, ahead of Lenny Bruce and behind Richard Pryor.^ Next to Richard Pryor, he was the funniest comedian ever.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ George Carlin and Richard Pryor have always been our favorite comedians.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ He taped his ninth and tenth HBO specials in rapid succession during the following years: 1996’s “Back in Town” was also broadcast live on the network, and 1997’s “George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy” featured a career retrospective of his television stand-up appearances, as well as a tribute and interview by Jon Stewart.
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[23] .He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live.^ CARLIN: There was no such show as Saturday Night Live when I hosted the first one.

^ Carlin was already an institution when I discovered him via videotaped SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE in the early 1980s, so I was free to mix and match his present-day screeds with his Vietnam era vitriol.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Despite some reservations on the part of the peacock network, he also hosted the first episode of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC, 1975- ) and appeared in the cult movie “Car Wash” as a randy cab driver.
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Contents

Early life

.Carlin was born in New York City,[24] the second son of Mary Beary, a secretary, and Patrick Carlin, a national advertising manager for the New York Sun.^ Sarah Brinklow, Brockport, New York June 24, 2008 We'll miss ya George.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Val Franczyk, Buffalo, New York June 24, 2008 George, we will miss you.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Born George Dennis Carlin on May 12, 1937, Carlin was raised in New York City, NY, primarily by his mother, who left her husband when Carlin was an infant.
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[25] Carlin was of Irish descent and was raised a Roman Catholic.[26][27][28]
.Carlin grew up on West 121st Street, in a neighborhood of Manhattan which he later said, in a stand-up routine, he and his friends called "White Harlem", because that sounded a lot tougher than its real name of Morningside Heights.^ I grew up in a very pro-Carlin household, and because of it, he was important to me.
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^ We lived on the border of Black Harlem, and what we called our neighborhood, "White Harlem."

^ I know that sounds corny and sad, but when I was a young man I was introduced to Mr. Carlin through a friend because he was "dirty" and cussed a lot.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.He was raised by his mother, who left his father when Carlin was two months old.^ My mother left him when I was 2 months old and he died when I was 8 years old.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I was also moved by the gratitude he expressed for his mother, who he said “saved” him and his brother—leaving her bullying, alcoholic husband when George was just two months old, getting a job during the worst years of the Depression, and raising two boys on her own.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

[29] .After three semesters, at the age of 15, Carlin involuntarily left Cardinal Hayes High School and briefly attended Bishop Dubois High School in Harlem.^ It seems that each of the twins, now attending high school, could only remember half their locker combination."
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ High School drop-out) G-fan ~ Elden Gardner, Bodunk, Arizona June 25, 2008 Mr. Carlin You'll surely be missed.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[30] Carlin had a difficult relationship with his mother and often ran away from home.[2] He later joined the United States Air Force and was trained as a radar technician. He was stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, Louisiana.
.During this time he began working as a disc jockey on KJOE, a radio station based in the nearby city of Shreveport.^ I received your bio the night of your performance and was floored to see how young you were when you began as a Disc Jockey.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

He did not complete his Air Force enlistment. Labeled an "unproductive airman" by his superiors, Carlin was discharged on July 29, 1957.

Career

.In 1959, Carlin and Jack Burns began as a comedy team when both were working for radio station KXOL in Fort Worth, Texas.^ June 23rd, 2008 11:58 am ET I had the privilege of listening to George Carlin when he was a DJ in 1959 in Fort Worth (Jack Burns was the news man) on KXOL. He did the evening "teen show" and was honing his soon to be famous humor then.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ Julie, Fort Worth, Texas June 23, 2008 RIP funny man.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ George deejayed @ KXOL in Fort Worth, TX across the street from Farrington Field.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[31] .After successful performances at Fort Worth's beat coffeehouse, The Cellar, Burns and Carlin headed for California in February 1960 and stayed together for two years as a team before moving on to individual pursuits.^ Joanne J., San Diego, California June 23, 2008 Two great voices of America silenced too soon - Tim Russert and George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Terri Rimmer, Fort Worth, Texas June 23, 2008 To The Carlin Family, I am Big fan of George's.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

1960s

.Within weeks of arriving in California in 1960, Burns and Carlin put together an audition tape and created The Wright Brothers, a morning show on KDAY in Hollywood.^ I didn't know Carlin was sick - he was only recently booked to do shows in southern California.
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^ The Imus Show is like a funeral this morning; both Bernard McGurk and Lou Rufino were pretty close to Carlin.
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The comedy team worked there for three months, honing their material in beatnik coffeehouses at night.[32] .Years later when he was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Carlin requested that it be placed in front of the KDAY studios.^ Carlin shoulda been honored the year immediately after Richard Pryor.
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^ Years later, we caught him live, and when some older folks got offended early in the act, we took advantage and jumped in their front-row seats.
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^ REST GEORGE REST ON YOU WERE THE BEST IN THE TRADE, HOLLYWOOD HAS TRUELY LOST A STAR. June 23, 2008 Thanks George for the many years of laughter.
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[33] .Burns and Carlin recorded their only album, Burns and Carlin at the Playboy Club Tonight, in May 1960 at Cosmo Alley in Hollywood.^ I may only be 14 but i know good comedy when i hear it and i hear it a lot my i pod has nothing but Carlin.
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[32]
.In the 1960s, Carlin began appearing on television variety shows, notably The Ed Sullivan Show and The Tonight Show.^ PM on June 23, 2008 I stood three feet from George Carlin as he walked off the stage of the Tonight Show, and I walked out of the audience.
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^ Joe B, Providence, Rhode Island June 25, 2008 I enjoyed listening to George for over 40 years...from the Ed Sullivan Show to Howard Stern....
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Kimster McIntire, Smyrna, Georgia June 23, 2008 My Symphathy I watched George since his days on the Ed Sullivan show.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

His most famous routines were:
  • The Indian Sergeant ("You wit' the beads... get outta line")
  • Stupid disc jockeys ("Wonderful WINO...") — "The Beatles' latest record, when played backwards at slow speed, says 'Dummy! .You're playing it backwards at slow speed!'"
  • Al Sleet, the "hippie-dippie weatherman" — "Tonight's forecast: Dark.^ I have been watching him since his days on Ed Sullivan and his transition into the Hippy Dippy Weatherman on the Tonight Show.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ My favorite bits were the one comparing football and baseball and the Hippy Dippy weatherman.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Bonnie Rionda, Cutler Bay, Florida June 24, 2008 ~ Jeff Lubetkin, Camden, South Carolina June 24, 2008 You will always be the wonderful "Hippy Dippy Weatherman", my condolences to the family.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    Continued dark throughout most of the evening, with some widely-scattered light towards morning."
  • Jon Carson - the "world never known, and never to be known"
.Variations on the first three of these routines appear on Carlin's 1967 debut album, Take Offs and Put Ons, recorded live in 1966 at The Roostertail in Detroit, Michigan.^ I have listened to Carlin since I was 8 and my mom bought his 1st album – "Take-offs and Put-ons".
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ California June 23, 2008 I first saw George Carlin appearing on Rush Street in Chicago in the early 1960s, and, as one who tried to see most comedians appearing in the city, was overwhelmed by his outrageousness.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ CARLIN: There was no such show as Saturday Night Live when I hosted the first one.

[34]
.During this period, Carlin became more popular as a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show, initially with Jack Paar as host, then with Johnny Carson.^ CARLIN: There was no such show as Saturday Night Live when I hosted the first one.

^ My memories of Mr. Carlin go back to the Johnny Carson show and the Hippy-Dippy Weather Man.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ AM on June 23, 2008 When I won the National Spelling Bee in 1986, I got to go on the Johnny Carson Show on the same night that George Carlin was a guest, so I got to shake George Carlin's hand while he was sitting in the make-up chair I can confirm that he is a nice guy and a mensch in person as well.
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.Carlin became one of Carson's most frequent substitutes during the host's three-decade reign.^ CARLIN: There was no such show as Saturday Night Live when I hosted the first one.

^ J B, Atlanta, Georgia June 23, 2008 My sympathy and condolence go out to George Carlin's family during this most difficult time.
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^ During the decades we needed most to have someone always asking the right questions and saying what's wrong here, you did it all!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Carlin was also cast on Away We Go, a 1967 comedy show.^ My memories of Mr. Carlin go back to the Johnny Carson show and the Hippy-Dippy Weather Man.
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^ Your books and your terrific comedy routines will live on and the name George Carlin will go down in the history books with all the greats.
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^ New Hampshire June 23, 2008 I've been a fan of George Carlin since I saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.
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His material during his early career and his appearance, which consisted of suits and short-cropped hair, had been seen as "conventional", particularly when contrasted with his later anti-establishment material.[35]
.Carlin was present at Lenny Bruce's arrest for obscenity.^ June 23rd, 2008 1:56 pm ET I was a bit young for Lenny Bruce so George Carlin was the 1st adult comic I remember.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ Whereas Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce were geniuses of a particular time, Carlin's brilliance spanned decades.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I dunno how much of that was true, but when Lenny Bruce died, seemed Carlin picked up the torch, and continued speaking truth to power.
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.As the police began attempting to detain members of the audience for questioning, they asked Carlin for his identification.^ The audience can ask questions when they’re through.

^ Bruce for what he said on stage that night, and Carlin cuz when the police came in to get Bruce, they asked Carlin for his identification.
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^ What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another."-George Carlin .
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.Telling the police he did not believe in government issued IDs, he was arrested and taken to jail with Bruce in the same vehicle.^ His lessons of never blindly believing anything the government tells you or blindly believing in an "invisible man in the sky" are just the tip of the iceberg.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

[36]

1970s

Eventually, Carlin changed both his routines and his appearance. .He lost some TV bookings by dressing strangely for a comedian of the time, wearing faded jeans and sporting long hair, a beard, and earrings at a time when clean-cut, well-dressed comedians were the norm.^ Sympathy to the Carlin Family ~ Glenn DeJulio, Fort Lauderdale, Florida June 23, 2008 We have lost one of the great comedians of our time.
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.Using his own persona as a springboard for his new comedy, he was presented by Ed Sullivan in a performance of "The Hair Piece," and quickly regained his popularity as the public caught on to his sense of style.^ New Hampshire June 23, 2008 I've been a fan of George Carlin since I saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.
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^ My own tango was to go from The Ed Sullivan Show to the National Lampoon, which is quite a jump.

.Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits.^ Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker and Tits.
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^ What the fuck kind of cocksucking piss-justice is this shit?
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^ Even if I was totally pissed, fucking George Carlin wouldn't want me to say that kind of shit - he'd probably say "What, you're gonna punch an imaginary omnipotent guy in the cunt?
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Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

—George Carlin, Class Clown, "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television"

.In this period he also perfected what is perhaps his best-known routine, "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television", recorded on Class Clown.^ The class is missing its best clown.
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^ He starred a variety of TV and movie roles and is famous for his Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV routine.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You told me that that’s where the "Seven Words" came from.

.Carlin was arrested on July 21, 1972 at Milwaukee's Summerfest and charged with violating obscenity laws after performing this routine.^ My mom was at the Summerfest show in 1972 when he was arrested for the Seven Words piece.
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^ Marita, Kansas City, Kansas June 23, 2008 I was there at Milwaukee's Summerfest 1972 when George rattled off the "Seven Heavies" ("they must be REALLY BAD") and the long arm of the law escorted him off stage.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[37] .The case, which prompted Carlin to refer to the words for a time as, "The Milwaukee Seven", was dismissed in December of that year; the judge declared that the language was indecent but Carlin had the freedom to say it as long as he caused no disturbance.^ Long live the seven words.
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^ If there's ever a time to say those seven words in sadness...
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ As we told you earlier this year, Last Words , a book detailing the life story of the late George Carlin , is being released this month.
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.In 1973, a man complained to the Federal Communications Commission after listening with his son to a similar routine, "Filthy Words", from Occupation: Foole, broadcast one afternoon over WBAI, a Pacifica Foundation FM radio station in New York City.^ WBAI, a listener-supported radio station in New York, aired it.

^ Marian, Bay Shore, New York June 23, 2008 One of the brightest, funniest, incisive comedians, and observes of the human paradox.
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^ New York City is now a mosoleum or a dormitory for all kinds of spoiled rotten trust funders and tourists.
  • Perez Hilton: George Carlin's Last Words 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Pacifica received a citation from the FCC, which sought to fine the company for violating FCC regulations which prohibited broadcasting "obscene" material. .The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the FCC action, by a vote of 5 to 4, ruling that the routine was "indecent but not obscene", and the FCC had authority to prohibit such broadcasts during hours when children were likely to be among the audience.^ HENDRA: One of the things about that particular routine, and in fact, I’m sure that you are proud of, was that it has actually become the basis of a Supreme Court decision.

^ There was one complaint; they were sanctioned by the FCC. They appealed it to the District Court of New York, where the station won a 2 to 1 District Court decision, then it went to the Supreme Court where it won 5 to 4.

(F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, 438 U.S. 726 (1978). The court documents contain a complete transcript of the routine.)[38]
The controversy only increased Carlin's fame. Carlin eventually expanded the dirty-words theme with a seemingly interminable end to a performance (ending with his voice fading out in one HBO version, and accompanying the credits in the Carlin at Carnegie special for the 1982-83 season), and a set of 49 web pages[39] organized by subject and embracing his "Incomplete List Of Impolite Words".
.Carlin was the first-ever host of NBC's Saturday Night Live, on October 11, 1975.[40] He also hosted SNL on November 10, 1984, where he appeared in sketches.^ CARLIN: There was no such show as Saturday Night Live when I hosted the first one.

^ Oh yeah he's SNL's first host ever in 1975 by Orionsangels .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Carlin was already an institution when I discovered him via videotaped SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE in the early 1980s, so I was free to mix and match his present-day screeds with his Vietnam era vitriol.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.The first time he hosted, he only appeared to perform stand-up and introduced the guest acts.^ June 23rd, 2008 11:15 am ET I just saw him last month for the first (and only, now) time.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ QUESTION: George, when you were asked to be the first host on Saturday Night Live, did you consider that an honor at that point in time?

^ It’s not only a wake-up call to listen to the stuff we are fed all the time, but it’s also one of the funniest semantic exercises I’ve ever seen or read.

The following season, 1976-77, Carlin also appeared regularly on CBS Television's Tony Orlando & Dawn variety series.
Carlin unexpectedly stopped performing regularly in 1976, when his career appeared to be at its height. .For the next five years, he rarely appeared to perform stand-up, although it was at this time he began doing specials for HBO as part of its On Location series.^ (The guy was a hero to me, I grew up on his comedy specials on HBO, and I've always been proud that we shared a birthday.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I would watch his HBO specials over and over and laugh anew each time.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I'll never forget your last stand up in NYC. See you in the next life, don't be late.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.His first two HBO specials aired in 1977 and 1978. It was later revealed that Carlin had suffered the first of three non-fatal heart attacks during this layoff period.^ First Richard had a heart attack.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Wiki stuff: Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Michael Backus, Salt Lake City, Utah June 23, 2008 My first HBO special I saw when we got cable as kids was George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[5]

1980s and 1990s

.In 1981, Carlin returned to the stage, releasing A Place For My Stuff and returning to HBO and New York City with the Carlin at Carnegie TV special, videotaped at Carnegie Hall and airing during the 1982-83 season.^ Wiki stuff: Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Nancy McNeil, Delafield, Wisconsin June 23, 2008 I was shocked when I heard the news this morning on my way to work of Mr Carlins passing.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I am still obsessed about ensuring I have a place for my "stuff".
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Carlin continued doing HBO specials every year or every other year over the following decade-and-a-half.^ When I scan HBO I hope the channel will continue to schedule George Carlin's repetoire of humor.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ I'm honoring Carlin today by cussing every other word by theredtoad .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He'd also want us to buy All His Stuff which is what he was peddling the last year or so of his life - a DVD collection of allmost all his HBO specials plus other junk.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.All of Carlin's albums from this time forward are the HBO specials.^ But he made album after album, tour after tour and then the HBO specials.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He'd also want us to buy All His Stuff which is what he was peddling the last year or so of his life - a DVD collection of allmost all his HBO specials plus other junk.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Spent hours and hours listening to Class Clown and just recently listened to it again-still the funniest comedy album of all time.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

In concert at Harrisburg, PA
.Carlin's acting career was primed with a major supporting role in the 1987 comedy hit Outrageous Fortune, starring Bette Midler and Shelley Long; it was his first notable screen role after a handful of previous guest roles on television series.^ Many of the greats move on to acting and leave comedy behind, but Carlin's appearances in films and television only seemed to cement the idea that he was just moonlighting from his regular job of being on stage in front of an audience, making them laugh.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ From albums, to comedy specials to acting George Carlin, made a imprint on American satire.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ June 23rd, 2008 1:40 pm ET I do not recall the first time I was fortunate to catch George Carlin on HBO Comedy.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

Playing drifter Frank Madras, the role poked fun at the lingering effect of the 1960s psychedelic counterculture. .In 1989, he gained popularity with a new generation of teens when he was cast as Rufus, the time-traveling mentor of the titular characters in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and reprised his role in the film sequel Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey as well as the first season of the cartoon series.^ Loved him as Rufus in the "Bill & Ted" movies by RicardoMontalban .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Tim Zielinski, Bloomingburg, New York June 23, 2008 When I heard of George Carlin's death I first thought "well ....
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ You inspired many to find their voices, I loved you in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure as "Rufus" ~ Mark Drennen, Louisville, Kentucky June 28, 2008 He was a constant voice of humour in my life.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

In 1991, he provided the narrative voice for the American version of the children's show Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends, a role he continued until 1998. He played "Mr. Conductor" on the PBS children's show Shining Time Station, which featured Thomas the Tank Engine from 1991 to 1993, as well as the Shining Time Station TV specials in 1995 and Mr. Conductor's Thomas Tales in 1996. Also in 1991, Carlin had a major supporting role in the movie The Prince of Tides, which starred Nick Nolte and Barbra Streisand.
.Carlin began a weekly Fox sitcom, The George Carlin Show, in 1993, playing New York City taxicab driver "George O'Grady". He quickly included a variation of the "Seven Words" in the plot.^ We lost the funny mind that belonged to the wonderful George Carlin over a year ago, but the legendary comedian has left the world a few last words to treasure.
  • Perez Hilton: George Carlin Gets The Last Word 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ My mom was at the Summerfest show in 1972 when he was arrested for the Seven Words piece.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Of course, thanks to George Carlin, for writing the stuff he does, and to Tony Hendra, for coming here from New York to be with us and to talk to George.

The show, created and written by The Simpsons co-creator Sam Simon, ran 27 episodes through December 1995.[41]
.In his final book, the posthumously published Last Words, Carlin said about The George Carlin Show: "I had a great time.^ It was not just his comedy or his books that I liked about George Carlin.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ George was talking about death and time.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ His last book, aptly titled Last Words , will be published in November.
  • Perez Hilton: George Carlin Gets The Last Word 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.I never laughed so much, so often, so hard as I did with cast members Alex Rocco, Chris Rich, Tony Starke.^ I never laughed or cried so hard at his jokes as I did that night.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I never laughed so hard in my life.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I never laughed so hard.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.There was a very strange, very good sense of humor on that stage.^ It's possible to think of Carlin as an analytic philosopher with very good stage presence.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ D. Miller, Atlanta, Georgia June 23, 2008 Your sense of humor was very logical in the most clever way .
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

The biggest problem, though, was that Sam Simon was a fucking horrible person to be around. .Very, very funny, extremely bright and brilliant, but an unhappy person who treated other people poorly.^ Despite that being extremely embarrassing for me personally, I just might do it in tribute to the man who meant so much to me.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ It means very little to kill a person who’s not afraid to die.

^ Lillian Jacobsen, Gilbert, Arizona June 23, 2008 A brilliant man who made me laugh when I was down and had a way with words that no other comedian will ever have..
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

I was incredibly happy when the show was canceled. I was frustrated that it had taken me away from my true work."[42]
.In 1997, his first hardcover book, Brain Droppings, was published, and sold over 750,000 copies as of 2001.[citation needed] Carlin was honored at the 1997 Aspen Comedy Festival with a retrospective George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy hosted by Jon Stewart.^ We lost the funny mind that belonged to the wonderful George Carlin over a year ago, but the legendary comedian has left the world a few last words to treasure.
  • Perez Hilton: George Carlin Gets The Last Word 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ It would be impossible to overstate George Carlin’s contribution to standup comedy.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Carolyn June 23, 2008 The very first "concert" I ever went to was to see George Carlin at Foothill College way back in 1974.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.In 1999, Carlin played a supporting role as a satirical Roman Catholic cardinal in filmmaker Kevin Smith's movie Dogma.^ Loved him in Bill & Ted's and Kevin Smiths movies by Col. Tigh-Fighter .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Then I found out after Carlin passed away, that he played Affleck's father in the movie.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.He worked with Smith again with a cameo appearance in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and later played an atypically serious role in Jersey Girl, as the blue collar father of Ben Affleck's character.^ Yes everything from J.Lo's (character's) death to Will Smith's (real life) cameo is telegraphed from a long ways off.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Kevin Smith KNOWS the plot of Jersey Girl has all the trappings of your usual romantic comedy.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Then I found out after Carlin passed away, that he played Affleck's father in the movie.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

2000s

.In 2001, Carlin was given a Lifetime Achievement Award at the 15th Annual American Comedy Awards.^ Carlin is a comedian who lives to cross the line, and is a member of an elite group of subversive comics that have been embraced by the mainstream: he was just recognized with a Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Comedy Awards.

^ Comedian makes people not only laugh, but think, chairman says Robert Sebree / AP WASHINGTON - George Carlin will be awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ From albums, to comedy specials to acting George Carlin, made a imprint on American satire.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

In December 2003, California U.S. Representative Doug Ose introduced a bill (H.R. 3687) to outlaw the broadcast of Carlin's seven "dirty words," including "compound use (including hyphenated compounds) of such words and phrases with each other or with other words or phrases, and other grammatical forms of such words and phrases (including verb, adjective, gerund, participle, and infinitive forms)." (The bill omits "tits," but includes "asshole," which was not part of Carlin's original routine.) This bill was never voted on. The last action on this bill was its referral to the House Judiciary Committee on the Constitution on January 15, 2004.[43]
.The following year, Carlin was fired from his headlining position at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada after an altercation with his audience.^ Adam, Las Vegas, Nevada June 23, 2008 Good bye George, and thank you for all of the laughs.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I remember seeing you at the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Burt Groner, Las Vegas, Nevada June 23, 2008 The seven words you can't say on TV was my first and favorite album.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.After a poorly received set filled with dark references to suicide bombings and beheadings, Carlin stated that he could not wait to get out of "this fucking hotel" and Las Vegas, claiming he wanted to go back East "where the real people are."^ In fact, I think I AM. To those of you favoriting the phrase "At least he's with God now" you DO realize George Carlin, if he could, would come back from the dead for the sole reason of kicking all your asses?
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ We laughed ourselves to tears and till this day just wait for openings to whip out a Carlin line.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ When my wife and I went to Las Vegas in 2002, the one show we took in was Carlin’s.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

He continued to insult his audience, stating:
."People who go to Las Vegas, you've got to question their fucking intellect to start with.^ Who were the last white people that you can remember that we bombed?

^ People would go up to him and say, "How do you like the Marines, Dickie?"

^ I really appreciate all the thought you’ve put into all these questions.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

Traveling hundreds and thousands of miles to essentially give your money to a large corporation is kind of fucking moronic. .That's what I'm always getting here is these kind of fucking people with very limited intellects."^ These memories kept her laughing for many years - and she was always very proud of "Carlin".
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.An audience member shouted back that Carlin should "stop degrading us", at which point Carlin responded "Thank you very much, whatever that was.^ You meant too much to us.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ George Carlin should have got this in back in 1999."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ PM on June 23, 2008 A Christian says thank you to George Carlin.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I hope it was positive; if not, well blow me." He was immediately fired by MGM Grand and soon after announced he would enter rehab for alcohol and prescription painkiller addiction.[44]
.For years, Carlin had performed regularly as a headliner in Las Vegas.^ The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts announced Tuesday that Carlin will be honored for his 50-year career as a Grammy-winning standup comedian, writer and actor.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ When my wife and I went to Las Vegas in 2002, the one show we took in was Carlin’s.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ I was also a huge fan of George Carlin, quoted him at parties in the 70's and 80's, and went to see him at a show in Las Vegas.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

.He began a tour through the first half of 2006, which culminated in his thirteenth HBO Special on November 5, 2005 entitled Life is Worth Losing,[45] which was shown live from the Beacon Theatre in New York City and in which he stated early on "I've got 341 days of sobriety", referring to the rehab he entered after being fired from MGM. Topics covered included suicide, natural disasters (and the impulse to see them escalate in severity), cannibalism, genocide, human sacrifice, threats to civil liberties in America, and how an argument can be made that humans are inferior to animals.^ But he made album after album, tour after tour and then the HBO specials.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Doin' It Again (1990) Jammin' in New York (1992) Back in Town (1996) You Are All Diseased (1999) Complaints and Grievances (2001) Life Is Worth Losing (2005) posted by New Frontier at 2:57 AM on June 23, 2008 [ 22 favorites ] Pesci rest his soul.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He'd also want us to buy All His Stuff which is what he was peddling the last year or so of his life - a DVD collection of allmost all his HBO specials plus other junk.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

On February 1, 2006, Carlin mentioned to the crowd, during his Life is Worth Losing set at the Tachi Palace Casino in Lemoore, California, that he had been discharged from the hospital only six weeks previously for "heart failure" and "pneumonia," citing the appearance as his "first show back."
.Carlin provided the voice of Fillmore, a character in the Disney/Pixar animated feature Cars, which opened in theaters on June 9, 2006. The character Fillmore, who is presented as an anti-establishment hippie, is a VW Microbus with a psychedelic paint job, whose front license plate reads "51237", Carlin's birthday.^ Joseph Martan, Western Springs, Illinois June 23, 2008 George Carlin provided a lot for me in both my early childhood and adolescence.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Joanne J., San Diego, California June 23, 2008 Two great voices of America silenced too soon - Tim Russert and George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Carlin's last HBO stand-up special, It's Bad for Ya, aired live on March 1, 2008, from the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts in Santa Rosa, California.^ George Carlin was the last great working stand-up by MCVamp .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Danielle, Florida June 28, 2008 Just saw him in Bridgeport March 13th..Funniest man thats ever lived.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ (The guy was a hero to me, I grew up on his comedy specials on HBO, and I've always been proud that we shared a birthday.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[46] .The themes that appeared in this HBO special included "American Bullshit," "Rights," "Death," "Old Age," and "Child Rearing."^ Watched an old HBO special.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Right now, this is just a placeholder to pass along the bullshit news that George Carlin has succumbed to heart failure at the age of 71 .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Carlin had been working on the new material for this HBO special for several months prior in concerts all over the country.^ Nancy McNeil, Delafield, Wisconsin June 23, 2008 I was shocked when I heard the news this morning on my way to work of Mr Carlins passing.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Michael Backus, Salt Lake City, Utah June 23, 2008 My first HBO special I saw when we got cable as kids was George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I have all of his books and have tremendously enjoyed his HBO specials.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.On June 18, 2008, four days before his death, the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C. announced that Carlin would be the 2008 honoree of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor,[47] which was awarded on November 10, 2008. Carlin thus became the award's first posthumous recipient, a decision the Kennedy Center made after consulting with both Carlin's family and PBS (which aired the ceremony).^ I am glad he knew of the Mark Twain award before he passed.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Don't know if anyone's commented on this yet, but last week it was announced he was to be awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humour by the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ AM on June 23, 2008 First Vonnegut, now Carlin.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[48] .The comedians who honored him at the ceremony included Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Lily Tomlin (a former Twain Humor Prize winner herself), Lewis Black, Denis Leary, Joan Rivers, and Margaret Cho.^ AM on June 24, 2008 I was just looking the other past winners of the Mark Twain Prize and couldn't help but think: "Fuck you guys.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He's among the pantheon of great comedians, such as Richard Pryor, Jim Belushi, Bill Hicks, who where not afraid to tell us how absurd we are.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ He was scheduled to get the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor at the Kennedy Center in November.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Personal life

.In 1961, Carlin married Brenda Hosbrook (August 5, 1936 - May 11, 1997), whom he had met while touring the previous year.^ George Carlin Politically Incorrect, May 29, 1997 * I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.The couple had a daughter, Kelly, in 1963.[49] In 1971, George and Brenda renewed their wedding vows in Las Vegas.^ Daniel Jacobson, Monmouth, Illinois June 24, 2008 This is sad indeed, almost saw George in Las Vegas a couple of years back, but missed the opportunity.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I was also a huge fan of George Carlin, quoted him at parties in the 70's and 80's, and went to see him at a show in Las Vegas.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ Adam, Las Vegas, Nevada June 23, 2008 Good bye George, and thank you for all of the laughs.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

Brenda died of liver cancer a day before Carlin's sixtieth birthday, in 1997.
Carlin later married Sally Wade on June 24, 1998, and the marriage lasted until his death, two days before their tenth anniversary.[50]
In December 2004, Carlin announced that he would be voluntarily entering a drug rehabilitation facility to receive treatment for his addiction to alcohol and Vicodin.[51]
Carlin did not vote and often criticized elections as an illusion of choice.[52] .He said he last voted for George McGovern, who ran for President in 1972[53] against Richard Nixon.^ I wish George would have ran for President.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Thanks to comedians like George Carlin and Richard Pryor we were forced to look at who and what we really are; for that thanks and may you rest in peace.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

Religion

.Although raised in the Roman Catholic faith (which he describes anecdotally on the albums FM & AM and Class Clown), Carlin became an atheist and often denounced the idea of a God in interviews and performances, notably with his "Religion" and "There Is No God" routines as heard in You Are All Diseased.^ God bless you, George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ More proof there is no god.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You're all diseased!
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Carlin also joked in his first book Brain Droppings that he worshiped the Sun, one reason being that he could see it.^ Carolyn June 23, 2008 The very first "concert" I ever went to was to see George Carlin at Foothill College way back in 1974.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Once his book "Brain Droppings" came out, I got a copy and this young man's mother offered to send it to George to have it autographed for me.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I was depressed as a teen and George Carlin made me laugh when no one else could.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

This was later mentioned in You Are All Diseased, along with the statement that he prayed to Joe Pesci (a good friend of his) because "He's a good actor," and "looks like a guy who can get things done!"[54]
In his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, Carlin introduced the "Two Commandments," a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."[55]

Themes

.Carlin's material falls under one of three self-described categories: "the little world" (observational humor), "the big world" (social commentary), and the peculiarities of the English language (euphemisms, doublespeak, business jargon); all sharing the overall theme of (in his words) "humanity's bullshit", which might include murder, genocide, war, rape, corruption, religion and other aspects of human civilization.^ George's keen observations and brilliant use of language was accessible to all senses of humor.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ The world is a little poorer without his presence - and his pithy observations.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Now I can really speak and understand English, and a lot of what impressed me in the early stages of learning the language seems a bit lame or contrived or clichéd, but George Carlin's material seems even funnier and more intriguing today.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

He was known for mixing observational humour with larger, social commentary. His delivery frequently treated these subjects in a misanthropic and nihilistic fashion, such as in his statement during the Life is Worth Losing show:
I look at it this way... .For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature: clear-cutting forests, strip-mining mountains, poisoning the atmosphere, over-fishing the oceans, polluting the rivers and lakes, destroying wetlands and aquifers...^ For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature: clear-cutting forests, strip-mining mountains, poisoning the atmosphere, over-fishing the oceans, polluting the rivers and lakes, destroying wetlands and aquifers...
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

so when nature strikes back, and smacks him on the head and kicks him in the nuts, I enjoy that. .I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever.^ I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ My husband & I quote from "Ice Box Man" when we find mystery items in the fridge: "It has absolutely no smell whatsoever!"
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

None. .And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse.^ And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Lillian Jacobsen, Gilbert, Arizona June 23, 2008 A brilliant man who made me laugh when I was down and had a way with words that no other comedian will ever have..
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Stephanie Anz, Arlington, Texas June 26, 2008 You always made us laugh, I hope wherever you may be, you are laughing!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

George Carlin in Trenton, New Jersey April 4, 2008
Language was a frequent focus of Carlin's work. .Euphemisms that in his view seek to distort and lie and the use of language he felt was pompous, presumptuous, or silly were often the target of Carlin's routines.^ I was 11, and in spite of the language used in his routine, I still got away with watching him on an HBO special, because he WAS SO FUNNY! Although I disagreed with his political and religious views, I still enjoyed his comedy, and I am sad to see him go.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.When asked on Inside the Actors Studio what turned him on, he responded "Reading about language". When asked what made him most proud about his career, he said the amount his books have sold, close to a million copies.^ What I will remember most about him and his life was that he was an absolute master of language.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ Watch him on Actors Studio.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ And he asked questions about language at his dinner table, my mother told me.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

.Carlin also gave special attention to prominent topics in American and Western Culture, such as obsession with fame and celebrity, consumerism, Christianity, political alienation, corporate control, hypocrisy, child raising, fast food diet, news stations, self-help publications, patriotism, sexual taboos, certain uses of technology and surveillance, and the pro-life position,[56] among many others.^ So this was a comedian I grew up with - and despite all the other comedians out there on Comedy Central, on sitcoms, in movies - I've never found one like Carlin who gave such great social commentary.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ George Carlin gave us many hours of laughter and most certainly food for thought.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ You had a great impact on my life..The many classics like Hippy-Dippy weatherman and the Birth Control pill campaign were pure comic genius.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Carlin openly communicated in his shows and in his interviews that his purpose for existence was entertainment, that he was "here for the show". He professed a hearty schadenfreude in watching the rich spectrum of humanity slowly self-destruct, in his estimation, of its own design, saying, "When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show.^ HBO and you're watching The Sopranos.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ PM on June 23, 2008 A Christian says thank you to George Carlin.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I say if you're going to go for the angel bullshit you might as well go for the zombie package as well."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat."^ George Carlin, you are now in front row of this freak show we call world!!!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Years later, we caught him live, and when some older folks got offended early in the act, we took advantage and jumped in their front-row seats.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

He acknowledged that this is a very selfish thing, especially since he included large human catastrophes as entertainment. .In his You Are All Diseased concert, he elaborated somewhat on this, telling the audience, "I have always been willing to put myself at great personal risk for the sake of entertainment.^ You're all diseased!
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ However, my favorite routine of his will always be "Airline Announcements", for this line and several others: "About this time someone is telling you to get on the plane - 'Get on the plane, get on the plane.'
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ May your laughter be always in our hearts ~ Patricia M, Tampa, Florida June 23, 2008 Thank you George for all the laughs.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.And I've always been willing to put you at great personal risk, for the same reason!"^ He will be remembered always regardless of which person you were.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ One thing I've learned is if you go through life and don't give a fuck you'll find yourself a happier person."
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Due to the fact that if you read between the comedy (which is funny as hell) you've always made logical points that directly applied to me & my life.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

In the same interview, he recounted his experience of a California earthquake in the early-1970s as: "An amusement park ride. .Really, I mean it's such a wonderful thing to realize that you have absolutely no control and to see the dresser move across the bedroom floor unassisted is just exciting."^ I don't think anyone else living in our times could see things for what they really are as clearly as George did.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ George you took the real world and actually made people think, and then see many things for what they were.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ You made us laugh till we cried, and see things in a way that many didn't acknowledge, but you were always right!!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.A routine in Carlin's 1999 HBO special You Are All Diseased focusing on airport security leads up to the statement: "Take a fucking chance!^ But most importantly, you made us realize the absurdity of our actions as a species and to laugh at ourselves and not take it all so damn seriously.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ Most of all you stood up and made us laugh with that great talent........comedy!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ You left a mark on comedy that will all be hard to measure up to.."Thanks" ~ Michalle Morgan, GrapeVine, Texas June 23, 2008 i loved george carlin my friend of my lookes like george carlin r.i.p.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Put a little fun in your life!^ Bob Raines, Chicago, Illinois June 24, 2008 George, We wish you the best seven words of fun in your new life.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Most Americans are soft and frightened and unimaginative and they don't realize there's such a thing as dangerous fun, and they certainly don't recognize a good show when they see one."^ Last comment I heard attributed to him was that he watched The Daily Show on a regular basis and that he thought Lewis Black was the one comic out there today who was really following in his footsteps.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ There won't be a next time now, but I feel extremely privileged to have spoken to one of my idols and to have it be such a warm experience.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I don't think anyone else living in our times could see things for what they really are as clearly as George did.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Along with wordplay and sex jokes, Carlin had always included politics as part of his material but by the mid-1980s he had become a strident social critic in both his HBO specials and the book compilations of his material, bashing both conservatives and liberals alike.^ (The guy was a hero to me, I grew up on his comedy specials on HBO, and I've always been proud that we shared a birthday.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Michael Backus, Salt Lake City, Utah June 23, 2008 My first HBO special I saw when we got cable as kids was George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ I have all of his books and have tremendously enjoyed his HBO specials.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

His HBO viewers got an especially sharp taste of this in his take on the Ronald Reagan administration during the 1988 special What Am I Doing In New Jersey? broadcast live from the Park Theatre in Union City, New Jersey.

Death and tribute

.On June 22, 2008, Carlin was admitted to Saint John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California after experiencing chest pains.^ Steve Stallard, Fresno, California June 27, 2008 I always found George to be a funny and a very insightful comedian.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Carolyn June 23, 2008 The very first "concert" I ever went to was to see George Carlin at Foothill College way back in 1974.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ A H, Stone Mountain, Georgia June 23, 2008 I remember George Carlin as a child and how funny he was.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

He died later that day at 5:55 p.m. of heart failure. .Carlin was 71 years old.^ Contact Me June 28, 2008 I am 53 Years old and have been a true Carlin fan for years.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Jim, Mississippi June 24, 2008 I discovered the the comedy of George Carlin in the summer of 1974 when I was 12 years old.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Makes you think about other 71 year olds.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.His death occurred one week after his last performance at The Orleans Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, and he had further shows on his itinerary.^ He was in a hotel room in Las Vegas getting ready for his show.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I remember seeing you at the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Sheibra & Mikey- North Carolina/Florida ~ Sheibra & Michael Reid-Faulk, NC and FL, North Carolina June 23, 2008 Just two short weeks ago we had the pleasure of seeing his performance at the Orlenes Hotel in Las Vegas.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[21][57][58] According to his wishes, Carlin was cremated, with his ashes scattered, and no public or religious services of any kind were held.[59][60] Two of the networks he performed on changed their schedule in tribute to Carlin. .HBO devoted several hours to broadcast eleven of Carlin's fourteen HBO specials from June 25–28, 2008, including a twelve-hour marathon block on their HBO Comedy channel.^ Arkansas June 28, 2008 ain was a master of his trade..there will never be anyone like him again.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Danielle, Florida June 28, 2008 Just saw him in Bridgeport March 13th..Funniest man thats ever lived.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Dino Grando, Joliet, Illinois June 28, 2008 The greatest man who ever lived-You will be missed by many and for generations!
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

.Meanwhile, NBC scheduled a rerun of the premiere episode of Saturday Night Live which Carlin hosted.^ Carlin was already an institution when I discovered him via videotaped SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE in the early 1980s, so I was free to mix and match his present-day screeds with his Vietnam era vitriol.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Richard Corkum, Western Shore, Nova Scotia June 23, 2008 "Saturday Night Live" and "The Tonight Show" will never be the same without George.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ My defining "Carlin Moment" was when I was in college and Saturday Night Live debuted with him as it's first Guest Host.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[61][62][63]
.Both Sirius Satellite Radio's "Raw Dog Comedy" and XM Satellite Radio's "XM Comedy" channels ran a memorial marathon of George Carlin recordings the day following his death.^ It would be impossible to overstate George Carlin’s contribution to standup comedy.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

^ George Carlin was one of our fav in the comedy world.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Joseph Martan, Western Springs, Illinois June 23, 2008 George Carlin provided a lot for me in both my early childhood and adolescence.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

Another tribute was the "Doonesbury" comic strip on Sunday, July 27, 2008.[64]
.Louis C. K. dedicated his stand-up special Chewed Up to Carlin.^ And I sure hope that God or Goddess can stand up to the SHIT that Carlin will deal out.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Pennsylvania June 23, 2008 George Carlin revolutionalized stand up comedy and will be the best there ever was.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ George's special's and stand up on dvd are some of the funniest ever produced and I watch them as often as I can.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

Lewis Black dedicated his entire second season of Root of All Evil to Carlin.
.An episode of Larry King Live paid tribute to Carlin, featuring comics Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Maher, Roseanne Barr and Lewis Black.^ [Note: Jerry Seinfeld has since identified himself as the prominent comedian who spoke to George Carlin just before I did.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm watching the Larry King Live tribute to Carlin on YouTube, and earlier I saw an article by E! Online where stars that ain't dead yet are talking about George.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin Williams calls George Carlin "the funniest mother fucker that ever lived," and Larry King can't say the quote.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Carlin's daughter and brother were also interviewed by King. .The next day, The New York Times published a tribute to Carlin written by Jerry Seinfeld.^ JK Martin, New York, New York June 23, 2008 It's a sad day when such a great person passes.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Dawn Cullin, Long Island, New York June 23, 2008 You are my hero and I promise to laugh every time I think of you.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Debbie Mello, Lindenhurst, New York June 23, 2008 This is a very sad day, a comic genius died.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

[65]
.An oral history, edited by Carlin's daughter, Kelly, was scheduled to be published in 2009. The book will contain stories from Carlin's friends and family, and cover the considered high points of his career, as well as the considered low, including his drug and alcohol addiction.^ Condolences to the Carlin family and friends.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Your name Your e-mail address Add the name and e-mail address of a friend or family member you'd like to notify about this Guest Book.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Case in point, I used to get in trouble at school reciting George Carlin bits to my friends.
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[66]
.For a number of years prior to his death Carlin had been compiling and writing his autobiography, planning to release it in conjunction with a second long worked on project, a one man Broadway show tentatively titled New York City Boy covering essentially the same topics.^ New Hampshire June 23, 2008 I've been a fan of George Carlin since I saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Andrea Mollick, Long Island, New York June 23, 2008 Thank you for teaching me how to think critically and that chickens are decent people.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ Marian, Bay Shore, New York June 23, 2008 One of the brightest, funniest, incisive comedians, and observes of the human paradox.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

After his death his collaborator on the projects, Tony Hendra, edited the autobiography for release as Last Words (ISBN 1439172951). .The book covers Carlin's life up to around Life is Worth Losing, with the final chapter detailing would-be future plans, including the planned one man show.^ He didn't have one film, or book, or show.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I thought George Carlin was the best conductor on the show as they had a few actors one was a Brit which I was rather annoyed with.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ June 23rd, 2008 12:11 pm ET Got to see him a couple of years ago on his “Life is Worth Losing” tour.
  • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

.The book was released one year and four months after Carlin's death.^ Carlin, 71, has released 22 solo albums and three best-selling books.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.The audio version of the book was read by George's brother Patrick.^ I used to watch his show when I was a kid, read my dads George Carlin book when I was about 9.
  • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Collection of works

Discography

Main
Compilations

Filmography

Year Movie
1968 With Six You Get Eggroll
1976 Car Wash
1979 Americathon
1987 Outrageous Fortune
1989 Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
1990 Working Trash
1991 Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
The Prince of Tides
1999 Dogma
2001 Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back'
2003 Scary Movie 3
2004 Jersey Girl
2005 Tarzan II
The Aristocrats
2006 Cars
2007 Happily N'Ever After

Television

  • In 1998, Carlin had a cameo playing one of the funeral-attending comedians in Jerry Seinfeld's HBO special I'm Telling You For The Last Time. .In the funeral intro (the only thing being buried is Jerry Seinfeld's material) Carlin learns that neither friend Robert Klein nor Ed McMahon ever saw Jerry's act.^ [Note: Jerry Seinfeld has since identified himself as the prominent comedian who spoke to George Carlin just before I did.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ New Hampshire June 23, 2008 I've been a fan of George Carlin since I saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Return to Obituary In partnership with George Carlin notify a friend share / bookmark Print Close December 04, 2009 George Carlin was an act within himself.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    Carlin did, and enjoyed it, but admits "I was full of drugs."

HBO Specials

Special Year
George Carlin at USC 1977
George Carlin: Again! 1978
Carlin at Carnegie 1982
Carlin on Campus 1984
Playin' with Your Head 1986
What Am I Doing in New Jersey? 1988
Doin' It Again 1990
Jammin' in New York 1992
Back in Town 1996
George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy 1997
You Are All Diseased 1999
Complaints and Grievances 2001
Life Is Worth Losing 2005
It's Bad for Ya 2008
  • "All My Stuff", a boxset of Carlin's first 12 stand-up specials (excluding George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy) with bonus material was released in September 2007

Bibliography

Book Year Notes
Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help 1984 ISBN 0-89471-271-3[67]
Brain Droppings 1997 ISBN 0-7868-8321-9[68]
Napalm and Silly Putty 2001 ISBN 0-7868-8758-3[69]
When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? 2004 ISBN 1-4013-0134-7[70]
Three Times Carlin: An Orgy of George 2006 ISBN 978-1-4013-0243-6[71] A collection of the 3 previous titles.
Watch My Language 2009 Posthumous release
Last Words 2009 ISBN 1439172951
.For several years before his death, Carlin had been working on a memoir, Last Words, in collaboration with writer Tony Hendra.^ George Carlin was the last great working stand-up by MCVamp .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Saw Carlin in Atlanta last year by Hawaiian Organ Donor .
  • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Hendra secured permission from Carlin's family to go ahead with the book.^ Your books and your terrific comedy routines will live on and the name George Carlin will go down in the history books with all the greats.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ My thoughts and prayers go out to the Carlin family at this difficult time.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ J B, Atlanta, Georgia June 23, 2008 My sympathy and condolence go out to George Carlin's family during this most difficult time.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

It was published by Simon & Schuster's Free Press imprint on November 17, 2009.[72]

Audiobooks

Internet hoaxes

.Since the birth of spam email on the internet, many chain-forwards, usually rant-like and with blunt statements of belief on political and social issues and attributed to being written (or stated) by George Carlin himself, have made continuous rounds in the junk email circuit.^ George Carlin is irreplaceable, touching many.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ New Hampshire June 23, 2008 I've been a fan of George Carlin since I saw him on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1967.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

^ John Shields, Concord, California June 23, 2008 Many of us were influenced in one way or another by the art of George Carlin.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

The website Snopes, an online resource that debunks historic and present urban legends and myths, has extensively covered these forgeries. .Many of the falsely-attributed email attachments have contained material that runs directly opposite of Carlin's viewpoints — with some being especially volatile toward racial groups, gays, women, the homeless, etc.^ I’ll give you one that, even to people that don’t mind mild cursing, bothers some people—especially women.
  • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

.Carlin himself, when he was made aware of each of these bogus emails, would debunk them on his own website, writing to his readers that "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website", and "it bothers me that some people might believe that I would be capable of writing some of this stuff."^ But he made album after album, tour after tour and then the HBO specials.
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Would you believe I was kiddin'?
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Wiki stuff: Carlin also introduced the "Two Commandments", a revised "pocket-sized" list of the Ten Commandments in his HBO special Complaints and Grievances, ending with the additional commandment of "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
  • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[73][74][75][76][77][78]

References

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  2. ^ a b c d e f Merrill, Sam (January 1982), "Playboy Interview: George Carlin", Playboy 
  3. ^ Carlin, George (November 1, 2004). "Comedian and Actor George Carlin". National Public Radio. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4136881. Retrieved 2008-06-23. 
  4. ^ a b Carlin, George, George Carlin on Comedy, "Lenny Bruce", Laugh.com, 2002
  5. ^ a b c d e f "George Carlin". Inside the Actors Studio. Bravo. 2004-10-31. No. 4, season 1.
  6. ^ Rock, Chris (2008-07-03). "Chris Rock Salutes George Carlin". EW.com. http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,20210534,00.html. Retrieved 2008-07-04. 
  7. ^ Seinfeld, Jerry. (2007-04-01). Jerry Seinfeld: The Comedian Award. [TV]. HBO. 
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  9. ^ Welkos, Robert W. (2007-07-24). "Funny, that was my joke". The Los Angeles Times. http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-et-joketheft24jul24,1,6252669,full.story?coll=la-headlines-california&ctrack=5&cset=true. Retrieved 2008-06-26. 
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  47. ^ Trescott, Jacqueline; "Bleep! Bleep! George Carlin To Receive Mark Twain Humor Prize"; washingtonpost.com; June 18, 2008
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  49. ^ Carlin, George; Tony Hendra (2009). Last Words. Free Press. pp. 150–151. ISBN 9781439172957. 
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External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
.
For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too.
^ Tatiana Deirdre: I also thought that perhaps atheists should simply say they were agnostic until a Philosophy teacher corrected me.
  • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

^ It's amazing how he made fun of things that we do everyday but none of us.ever really thought of it like that until he brought it to our attention.
  • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

It's a shame everything has to have a label.
.
"One thing leads to another"? Not always.
^ One thing leads to another”?
  • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ The one thing he said that always stuck with me.
  • George Carlin dead at 71 - TV Squad 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.tvsquad.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ "One thing leads to another"?
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing.^ "One thing leads to another"?
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ One thing leads to another”?
  • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing.
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Ask an addict.
.George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937June 22, 2008) was a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor and author, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on language, psychology and religion along with many other taboo subjects.^ Download: George Carlin May 12 (1937) - June 22 2008 Megavideo Bypass Solutions!
  • George Carlin May 12 (1937) - June 22 2008 - Free Online Movies Forum - Watch Movies Online Free 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC freeonlinemoviesforum.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ June 22, 2008 at 11:12 PM .
  • George Carlin dies at 71 | Comments Blog | Los Angeles Times 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC latimesblogs.latimes.com [Source type: General]

^ June 30, 2008 6:22 PM .
  • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

Contents

Discography

Toledo Window Box (1974)

.
  • The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips.^ The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Happy was into grass and grass alone … Happy, that's all he did.^ Happy was into grass and grass alone … Happy, that's all he did.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ A part of us all has died and our grief will be the same as the level of happiness he brought into our lives.
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ At an age when I felt alone and unacceptable, his courage to deconstruct the taboos that intimidate us all into conformity and compliance reassured me.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • R.I.P. George Carlin – Deadline.com 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.deadline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Sleepy was into reds.^ Sleepy was into reds.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Grumpy, too much speed.^ Grumpy, too much speed.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Sneezy was a full blown coke freak.^ Sneezy was a full blown coke freak.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Doc was a connection. .Dopey was into everything.^ Dopey was into everything.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Any old orifice will do for Dopey.^ Any old orifice will do for Dopey.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .He's always got his arm out and his leg up.^ He's always got his arm out and his leg up.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful.^ And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. .Didn't need any help on that ladder.^ Didn't need any help on that ladder.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Nursery Rhymes"
  • Hansel and Gretel discovered the ginger bread house about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms.^ "Nursery Rhymes" Hansel and Gretel discovered the ginger bread house about 45 minutes after they discovered the mushrooms.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    • "Nursery Rhymes"

A Place for My Stuff (1981)

.
  • I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.^ I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ ZachsMind at 2:14 AM on June 23, 2008 "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ An atheist would never want to kill a religious man.
    • George Carlin RIP : Pure Pedantry 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC scienceblogs.com [Source type: Original source]

    Especially if it's me! .
    • "Interview With Jesus"
  • Don't give your money to the church.^ Traveling hundreds and thousands of miles to essentially give your money to a large corporation is kind of fucking moronic.

    ^ Traveling hundreds and thousands of miles to essentially give your money to a large corporation is kind of fucking moronic."
    • RIP: George Carlin - JoBlo.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.joblo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ So like yeah, give your life to jesus and shit.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They should be giving their money to you.^ They should be giving their money to you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If a person in person in authority (police officer) gives a loaded gun with a hair trigger to a person they have authority over (child) who should be punished when the child kills someone?
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know, I almost never give a crap when a celebrity dies, because they're celebrities, and not real people.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .
    • "Interview With Jesus"
  • Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man?^ "Why is it the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place."
    • Louis C.K. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.louisck.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?
    • Ian On The Red Dot :: george carlin 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC ian.onthereddot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place?
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .There's such balance in nature.^ There's such balance in nature.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ There’s such balance in nature.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .
    • "Abortion"
  • "Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass".
    • "Fussy Eater, Pt.^ "Fussy Eater, Pt.
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

      ^ "Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "Big pain in the a**."-------Flammable, inflammable & nonflammable...
      • George Carlin on MySpace Comedy - Comic Clips, Funny Videos & Jokes 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.myspace.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

      ^ "Abortion" "Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass".
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

      .1"
  • And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home.^ And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats".
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I don't even bring them home.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I sit there laughing and they go to waste.^ I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ An artist is on a journey: They don’t know where they’re going, what is going to happen, but they know they are not there yet, and there is some continuity and growth.
    • George Carlin Interview | The Progressive 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.progressive.org [Source type: General]

    ^ And they are spaced out over the year and there is always one (of these sports) going on.
    • ESPN.com: Page 3 - 10 Burning Questions: George Carlin 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC sports.espn.go.com [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Fussy Eater, Pt.^ "Fussy Eater, Pt.
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

      1"

Carlin on Campus (1984)

.
  • So I say live and let live.^ I say live and let live...
    • George Carlin on MySpace Comedy - Comic Clips, Funny Videos & Jokes 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.myspace.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ So I say live and let live.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ George Carlin tags: christ , christianity , humor , jesus , religion , time 80 people liked it "So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto.
    • Quotes by George Carlin (page 1 of 5) 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.goodreads.com [Source type: Original source]

    That's my motto. Live and let live. .Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker.^ Anyone who can't go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ What is important is the lesson we can all take from Carlin, which is to question what we do and why we form opinions as we do (completely outside of faith) and- who knows?- maybe have a little fun with it.

    .It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family.^ It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • RIP George Carlin : Dispatches from the Culture Wars 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC scienceblogs.com [Source type: General]

    ^ It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family."
    • Quotes by George Carlin (page 1 of 5) 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.goodreads.com [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Prayer"
  • Reminds me of something my grandfather would say.^ "Prayer" Reminds me of something my grandfather would say.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ So if I write something down, some observation—I see something on television that reminds me of something I wanted to say already—the first time I write it, the first time I hear it, it makes an impression.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I know that if I had ever met him and said, “George, you’re my hero,” he would have responded by saying, “Bullshit.
    • Wonkette : George Carlin Is Dead 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC wonkette.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs to fuck your grandmother."^ He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs to fuck your grandmother."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ He said, "I'm going to go upstairs and fuck your grandma now".
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.

What Am I Doing in New Jersey? (1988)

.
  • I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan Administration.
  • And Edwin Meese alone has been investigated by three separate Special Prosecutors, and there's a fourth one waiting for him in Washington right now.^ There are too many people- .
    • George Carlin's 'View': Wildfire Victims 'Get What's Coming to Them' | NewsBusters.org 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Reagan-Bush years opened with the line: "I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photograph of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration."
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large.
    • Say It Ain't So: George Carlin Dies - New York News - Press Clips 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogs.villagevoice.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Three separate Special Prosecutors have had to look into the activities of the Attorney General.^ Three separate Special Prosecutors have had to look into the activities of the Attorney General, and the Attorney General is the nation's leading law enforcement officer!
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Three separate Special Prosecutors have had to look into the activities of the Attorney General.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And Edwin Meese alone has been investigated by three separate Special Prosecutors, and there's a fourth one waiting for him in Washington right now.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And the Attorney General is the nation's leading law enforcement officer!
  • They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals.^ They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And the Attorney General is the nation's leading law enforcement officer!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
  • People I can do without.^ They're against street crime, provided that street isn't Wall Street.
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They're cold, bloodless people.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .This is my list: guys in their fifties named "Skip". Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card.^ Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ This is my list: guys in their fifties named "Skip".
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I feel as though I've lost my best friend, who understood me in ways that no one else could, and who understood the world better than anyone else.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .An airline pilot who has on two different shoes.^ An airline pilot who has on two different shoes.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A proctologist with poor depth perception.^ A proctologist with poor depth perception.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A pimp who drives a Toyota Corolla.^ A pimp who drives a Toyota Corolla.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination.^ A gynecologist who wants my wife to have three or four drinks before the examination.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ As a matter of fact my parents had met Dennis Miller before he made it big while he was still playing the Pittsburgh Funnybone and had a few drinks with him.
    • DailyComedy.com | Hot Topic - George Carlin 17 Jokes Fresh daily. Submit Your Own! 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.dailycomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Before I cut, I, uh, want to, ah, thank you for listening to my words, man, fellow, uh space travelers.
    • George Carlin, 1937 - 2008 | culturekitchen 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.culturekitchen.com [Source type: General]

    .Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats.^ Guys with a lot of small pins on their hats.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Anyone who mentions Jesus more than three hundred times in a two-minute conversation.^ Anyone who mentions Jesus more than three hundred times in a two-minute conversation.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ One would be hard-pressed to find anyone who so consistently, for more than three decades now, has stood before the public, in venues both small and global, to tell so many dirty and ugly and hilarious truths about the way we Americans live.
    • George Carlin Interview | The Progressive 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.progressive.org [Source type: General]

    ^ I think I taped two or three monologues at a time after the main show was over, or during the break...
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    .A dentist with blood in his hair.^ A dentist with blood in his hair.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals.^ Any woman whose hobby is breast-feeding zoo animals.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A funeral director who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon!"^ A funeral director who says "Hope to see you folks again real soon!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I had hoped to see you again soon, but God needed you now.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Soul: Gas - I hope to see you… .
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    Girls who get drunk and throw up at breakfast. .A man with only one lip.^ A man with only one lip.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ God only had one rule for man while living in this place, which was not to eat from “the tree of life”.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop.^ A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .People who actually know the second verse to "The Star-Spangled Banner". Any lawyer who refers to the police as the "Federales". A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin!^ A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Here is one of them–A cross-eyed nun with a bullwhip and a bottle of gin.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ People who actually know the second verse to "The Star-Spangled Banner".
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    A brain surgeon with "Born to Lose" tattooed on his hands. .Couples whose children's names all start with the same initials.^ Couples whose children's names all start with the same initials.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I can't help thinking, if this president's name had been George Boner...well, he might have felt a little better about himself, and he wouldn't have had to kill all those children.
    • Conspiracy Planet - Humor - George Carlin on Bush War 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.conspiracyplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ June 25th, 2008 6:19 pm ET I love Carlin's bit about how the word "shell shock" gradually became "post-traumatic-stress-disorder", as well as his "people I can do without: parents whose children's first name all start with the same letter..."
    • George Carlin, Standup Scientist – SciTechBlog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC scitech.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    .A man in a hospital gown directing traffic.^ A man in a hospital gown directing traffic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    A waitress with a visible infection on her serving hand. .People who have large gums and small teeth.^ People who have large gums and small teeth.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I think it's worth noting that the people who leave teddy bears and notes are largely the same people who don't think we should execute child-rapists.
    • Bozell Column: George Carlin's 'Comic Acid' | NewsBusters.org 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    .Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet.^ Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ June 23rd, 2008 2:26 pm ET People I can do without: Any man whose arm hair covers his wristwatch, Guys with big gums and small teeth, A cross eyed nun with a bull whip and a bottle of gin, Guys in there 50's named Skip, Any woman who purchases Astro Glide with an Exxon credit card, Any person who can recite all the verses to the Star Spangled Banner, Guys who wear the same underwear till it cuts off the circulation to their feet, .
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Besides, who cares about some mercenary civilian contractor from Oklahoma who gets his head cut off?
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    And any man whose arm hair completely covers his wristwatch. .All right, that's enough of that.
  • It's a great country, but it's a strange culture.^ It's a great country, but it's a strange culture.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Charles Crouther Jr., Albuquerque, New Mexico June 27, 2008 To all the family of this great comedian, He is not struggling in any way right now!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Hey, I'm the first one to say it's a great country, but it's a stra-a-ange culture.
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ... .This has got to be the only country in the world that could ever come up with a disease like bulimia; gotta be the only country in the world where some people have no food at all, and other people eat a nourishing meal and puke it up intentionally.^ And we have no more old people in this country.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - On Language 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.scribd.com [Source type: General]

    ^ No woman could or would ever mess things up like this.
    • George Carlin Meets The Mormons - LDS Prophets General Authorities - Salamander Society 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.salamandersociety.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I like to say to people that it's all bullshit.
    • George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008 | Dusty Wright's Culture Catch 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.culturecatch.com [Source type: Original source]

    .This is a country where tobacco kills four hundred thousand people a year, so they ban artificial sweeteners!^ This is a country where tobacco kills 400,000 people a year -- so they ban artifical sweeteners!
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They said in that four-year-old news report that F&F highlighted, that they would start forest fires in four US states.
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ But they both devote several months out of the year helping to take care of children in third world countries.
    • Marc Cooper » Blog Archive » All Hail George Carlin, Dead at 71 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC marccooper.com [Source type: General]

    Because a rat died! .You know what I mean?^ But once again you know what I mean ) .
    • » george carlin on prostitution | Amanda Brooks' personal blog -- escort, author, advocate 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.texasgoldengirl.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If you have children, you'll know what I mean.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ You know what I mean?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, 1937 - 2008 | culturekitchen 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.culturekitchen.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .This is a place where gun store owners are given a list of stolen credit cards, but not a list of criminals and maniacs!^ This is a place where gun store owners are given a list of stolen credit cards, but not a list of criminals and maniacs!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    And now, they're thinking about banning toy guns - and they're gonna keep the fucking real ones!

Doin' It Again / Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics (1990)

.
  • Some people don't want you to mention certain things.^ Some people don't like you to mention certain things.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Some people don't want you to say that.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If you do not want to believe then don't.
    • George Carlin RIP : Pure Pedantry 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC scienceblogs.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Some people don't want you to say this, some people don't want you to say that.^ I want to say, "why did you do that?"
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Some people don't like you to mention certain things.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Ohhh, some people don't like you to talk like that.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Some people think if you say some things they might happen.^ You think what he is saying is not valuable?

    ^ They say, "Did you hear what happened?"

    ^ Some people don't like you to mention certain things.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Some people are real fuckin' stupid.^ Some people are really fuckin' stupid."
    • 'Carlin on Religion' by George Carlin - RichardDawkins.net 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC richarddawkins.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Some people are real fuckin' stupid .
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ He was the first to come out and bravely, bluntly express that religion is a crock, your country doesn't give a shit about you, and people are fuckin' stupid.
    • So long George - Lewis Black's MySpace Blog | 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC blogs.myspace.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .You ever notice that, how many stupid people you run into?^ Well George, did you ever notice how many people's lives you touched?
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ You will be missed by many people.
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ How did you get into 29?
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    .Goddamn there's some stupid bastards out there.^ God damn there's some stupid bastards out there.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ There are some very strange ideas out there about what a forum or a 'thread' is.
    • Goodbye, George Carlin - Boing Boing 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.boingboing.net [Source type: General]

    ^ Goddam there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Carry a pad and pencil with you, you'll come up with twenty names by the end of the day.^ You'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Carry a little pad and pencil with you.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I hope that where ever you end up you'll have some of your "stuff" with you!
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Think about this; think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.
  • Let me get a sip of water here...you figure this stuff is safe to drink?^ Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
    • Zen » Blog Archive » Top 100 Funny Quotes 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC leftofzen.com [Source type: General]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • The Big Picture 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC bigpicture.typepad.com [Source type: General]
    • Favorite George Carlin Quotes - Forums 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.rottentomatoes.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ How do you think about the role of vulgarity in your humor?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I can tell you how that came about.
    • George Carlin Interview | The Progressive 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.progressive.org [Source type: General]

    .[audience yells "No"] Actually, I don't care, I drink it anyway.^ Dude, no one deserves hell, I don't care who you are or what you did, everyone should have the right to forgiveness.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Actually I don't care if it's safe or not, I drink it anyway.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Since he has no actual career, one suspects it's some other quality that is valued.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You know why?^ You know why you never that?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know why?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Now, speaking of blowjobs, do you know why they call it a blowjob ?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .'Cause I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.^ Cause I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ 'Cause I'm an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Everybody needs a little cancer in their water."
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    I'm a loyal American and I'm not happy unless I let government and industry poison me a little bit evey day.

Jammin' in New York (1992)

.
  • I have certain rules I live by.^ I have certain rules I live by.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.^ Atheists don't believe anything of that shit.
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I don’t tell people what to believe.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf"
  • I look at war a little bit differently.^ I look at war a bit differently.

    ^ Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf .

    ^ He talked about “Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf” …… he was one of the first to talk about it all …..
    • Comedian George Carlin Dies at 71 | Underwire | Wired.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.wired.com [Source type: General]

    .To me, war is a lot of prick-waving!^ To me, war is a lot of prick-waving!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field, waving their pricks at one another.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .OK? Simple thing.^ OK? Simple thing.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    That's all it is. .War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field, waving their pricks at one another.^ To me, war is a lot of prick-waving!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ War is a whole lot of men standing out on a field, waving their pricks at one another.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ A bunch of men standing out in a field waving their dicks at one another.

    .Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea.^ Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The two of them were crazy about one another.

    ^ Men are basically insecure about the size of their dicks and so they go to war over it.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .That's what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about.^ That's what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's what all that adolescent, macho male posturing, and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about.^ That's what all that adolescent, macho male posturing, and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It's called "dick fear!"^ It’s called "dick fear."

    ^ It's called "dick fear!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Men are terrified that their pricks are inadequate and so they have to compete with one another, to feel better about themselves, and since war is the ultimate competition, basically, men are killing each other in order to improve their self-esteem!^ Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The two of them were crazy about one another.

    ^ Men are basically insecure about the size of their dicks and so they go to war over it.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You don't have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy theory at work.^ You don't have to be a political scientist or a history major to see the bigger dick foreign policy theory at work.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Don’t believe what you see?
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You don't have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy theory at work.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks?^ It goes something like this..."what they have bigger dicks?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It sounds like this: "What, they have bigger dicks?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I always thought Ticketmaster sounded like an arch villian from Dick Tracy..a name that is also hilarious in a cross dressing sort of way.
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Bomb them!" .And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks.^ And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Tacodog at 10:25 PM on June 22, 2008 The guns and the bombs and the rockets all look like dicks!
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs.^ It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It's called "fucking with people!"^ It’s called "fucking with people," actually.

    ^ It's called "fucking with people!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf"
  • Well.^ He talked about “Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf” …… he was one of the first to talk about it all …..
    • Comedian George Carlin Dies at 71 | Underwire | Wired.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.wired.com [Source type: General]

    ^ "Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf" I look at war a little bit differently.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Rockets and Penises in the Persian Gulf [7:39] 3.
    • George Carlin: All My Stuff, George Carlin, DVD - Barnes & Noble 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC video.barnesandnoble.com [Source type: General]

    Tell you what. .Now, to balance the scale, I'd like to talk about some things that bring us together, things that point out our similarities instead of our differences.^ "Some people don't like you to talk about cancer.
    • 'Carlin on Religion' by George Carlin - RichardDawkins.net 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC richarddawkins.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ The talk was something like, “He’s flipped out!
    • George Carlin Interview | The Progressive 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.progressive.org [Source type: General]

    ^ I like to talk about the long-term things that will never be solved.

    .'Cause that's all you ever hear about in this country!^ If he had a problem with you, you were going to hear about it.
    • Remembering George Carlin in Vegas | The Movable Buffet | Los Angeles Times 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC vegasblog.latimes.com [Source type: General]

    ^ You never hear about this.
    • 'Carlin on Religion' by George Carlin - RichardDawkins.net 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC richarddawkins.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Everything you hear about God is all very wonderful.
    • George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008 | Dusty Wright's Culture Catch 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.culturecatch.com [Source type: Original source]

    It's our differences! .That's all the media and the politicians are ever talking about!^ That's all the media and the politicians are ever talking about!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ In the midst of all my bitching, you might have noticed that I never complain about politicians.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .The things that separate us.^ But I also like to know that I can come back to these little things we have in common, little universal moments that we share separately, the things that make us the same.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ That’s all the media and the politicians are ever talking about, the things that separate us, things that make us different from one another.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .Things that make us different from one another.^ One thing leads to another”?
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ That’s all the media and the politicians are ever talking about, the things that separate us, things that make us different from one another.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Things that make us different from one another.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's the way the ruling class operates in any society.^ That’s the way the ruling class operates in any society.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .They try to divide the rest of the people.^ They try to divide the rest of the people.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They knew if they tried eleven, people wouldn't take them seriously.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Some people didn’t deserve him, but the rest of us will hold his memory dearly and try to keep him living on.
    • R.I.P. George Carlin – Deadline.com 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.deadline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that they, the rich, can run off with all the fucking money!^ They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other so that they, the rich, can run off with all the fucking money!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They keep the lower and the middle classes fighting with each other, so that they, the rich, can run off with all the [bleep] money.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .Fairly simple thing!^ Fairly simple thing!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Fairly simple thing, happens to work.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    Happens to work! You know? Anything different! .That's what they're gonna talk about race, religion, ethnic and national background, jobs, income, education, social status, sexuality, anything can do, keep us fighting with each other, so that they can keep going to the bank!^ They’re so small we hardly ever talk about them.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Anything you can do, keep us fighting with each other, so that they can keep going to the bank.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You know, anything different, that’s what they’re going to talk about.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .
    • "Little Things We Share"
  • You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country?^ You know how I describe the economic and social classes in this country?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ "Little Things We Share" You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How is it that you find things that are unexpected?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.^ The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ My brother, sister, and I are all well educated, God fearing, tax paying, responsible citizens.
    • DailyComedy.com | Hot Topic - George Carlin 17 Jokes Fresh daily. Submit Your Own! 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.dailycomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.^ The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ My brother, sister, and I are all well educated, God fearing, tax paying, responsible citizens.
    • DailyComedy.com | Hot Topic - George Carlin 17 Jokes Fresh daily. Submit Your Own! 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.dailycomedy.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    The poor are there... just to scare the shit out of the middle class. .Keep 'em showing up at those jobs.
    • "Little Things We Share"
  • That's another complaint of mine - too much use of this prefix "pre". It's all over the language now — "pre"-this, "pre"-that, place the turkey in a "pre-heated" oven.^ We’re all used to people accusing us of being a self-absorbed generation, but these things are very vital to democracy.

    ^ Ain’t I smart, ain’t I cute, ain’t I clever.” “Listen to me, listen to what I got to say.” So, those things are important elements in the drive behind all of this.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Use every adjective you can come up with; it all boils down to one thing.
    • Top 20 George Carlin Quotes - Listverse 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC listverse.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    It's ridiculous! .There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: Heated or unheated!^ There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: Heated or unheated!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ There is no truth to the rumor that Era Records chose to make an album of Burns and Carlin because they were the only two comedians left.
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    ^ There are many historical figures that are not questioned, but we only know they existed because a bunch of people wrote about them.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ."Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term!^ "Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It's like "pre-recorded" — "This program was pre-recorded."^ It's like "pre-recorded" — "This program was pre-recorded."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Well, of course it was pre-recorded!^ Well, of course it was pre-recorded!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Of course it's been PRE-recorded.
    • Goodbye, George Carlin - Boing Boing 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.boingboing.net [Source type: General]

    .When else are you gonna record it, afterwards?^ When else are you gonna record it, afterwards?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's the whole purpose of recording; to do it beforehand!^ That's the whole purpose of recording; to do it beforehand!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Otherwise it doesn't really work, does it?^ So where does that leave the American people, whos vote really doesn't even count to begin with since the "popular vote" has nothing to do with who gets elected to the presidency.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I'd say it's at least worth a shot - and if it doesn't work, no real harm's been done.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity (thinkexist.com) Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
    • George Carlin - Dating, Gossip, News, George Carlin Photos 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.whosdatedwho.com [Source type: General]

    ."Pre-existing", "pre-planning", "pre-screening" — you know what I tell these people?^ I know it’s tempting to slam the people you don’t agree with; it is a real struggle for me to keep from thinking that all Christians, Muslims, etc.
    • Marc Cooper » Blog Archive » All Hail George Carlin, Dead at 71 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC marccooper.com [Source type: General]

    ^ From the air, you don’t even know Aspen or its airport runway exists until you’re on top of it.

    ^ Why is it that most of these people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f u ck in the first place?
    • Favorite George Carlin Quotes - Forums 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.rottentomatoes.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Pre-suck my genital situation!^ Pre-suck my genital situation!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And they seem to understand what I'm talking about.^ And they seem to understand what I'm talking about.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Well, sometimes they'll say, well you can talk about something but you can't joke about it.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How about a little praise and recognition for the true scholars who don't just make you think, they make you learn and understand?
    • Bozell Column: George Carlin's 'Comic Acid' | NewsBusters.org 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    • "Airline Announcements"

Back in Town (1996)

.
  • Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place?^ Fuck you people.
    • HBO - Salon.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.salon.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Jordan - 2008-08-08 16:49:45 My favorite Carlin quote: "Why is it that the people who are against abortion, are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Fuck you people!
    • HBO - Salon.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.salon.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they?^ Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ GEORGE CARLIN: Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Boy everybody in the world learned real quick, didn’t they?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .They're all in favor of the unborn.^ And they’re all branded.

    ^ They're all in favor of the unborn.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They’re all in favor of the unborn.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .They will do anything for the unborn.^ They will do anything for the unborn.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .But once you're born, you're on your own.^ But once you're born, you're on your own.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ But once you’re born, you’re on your own.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ If you’re pre-born, you’re fine.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months.^ Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus, from conception to nine months.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .After that, they don't want to know about you.^ After that, they don’t want to know about you.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They don’t want that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You know, they leave me alone.
    • George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008 | Dusty Wright's Culture Catch 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.culturecatch.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They don't want to hear from you.^ But I’ll tell you what they don’t want.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ After that, they don’t want to know about you.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They don’t want that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    No nothing. .No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing.^ No neo-natal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It was the day King George VI of England was crowned and a commemorative stamp was issued with the king's head on it -- along with my birthdate, May 12th, 1937.

    .If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.^ If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And there's a lot of that social criticism in the shows now, because what I'm really trying to say to people is, "Don't you see what the fuck you're doing here?
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    ^ He once said, "If you're country is full of brown people you BETTER WATCH THE FUCK OUT cause we will bomb you!"
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach 'military age'. Then they think you are just fine.^ They don’t give a fuck about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Then they think you are just fine.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Didn't you think they would have just invaded Cal.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .Just what they've been looking for.^ Then you’re just what they’re looking for.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Then they think you are just fine, just what they’ve been looking for.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ When we left, they all exclaimed "He looked so much like George Carlin, I expected him to just yell 'FUCK'!"
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.^ Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ "Christers want to have live babies so they can turn them into dead soldiers."
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Pro-life... pro-life... .These people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors!^ These people aren’t pro-life.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They're not pro-life.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They’re not pro-life.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .What kind of pro-life is that?^ What kind of pro-life is that?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .What, they'll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They're not pro-life.^ What, they’ll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor, they just might have to kill it?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They’re killing doctors.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They're just busy words.
    • Say It Ain't So: George Carlin Dies - New York News - Press Clips 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogs.villagevoice.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .You know what they are?^ You know, they leave me alone.
    • George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008 | Dusty Wright's Culture Catch 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.culturecatch.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know what they want?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know what they are?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .They're anti-woman.^ They’re anti-women.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They're anti-woman.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Simple as it gets, anti-woman.^ Simple as it gets, anti-woman.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They don't like them.^ They don't write them like that anymore.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't like them.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don’t like women.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state. Pro-life...^ They’re not pro-life.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ They don't like them.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don’t like women.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .You don't see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you?^ You don’t see any of these white, anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You don't see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Don’t believe what you see?
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    .No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you?^ No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Don’t believe what you see?
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You don’t see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .No, that might be something Christ would do.^ No, that might be something Christ would do.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.democracynow.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ No, that might be something Christ would do .
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ No way would God do something that awful.
    • George Carlin, Newsweek's 'God Who Cussed' | NewsBusters.org 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    .And you won't see a lot of these pro-life people dousing themselves in kerosene and lighting themselves on fire.^ These people aren’t pro-life.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ These people really need to get a life.
    • Haters plan to picket George Carlin's funeral 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC blogs.tampabay.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You will be missed by a lot of people.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .You know, morally committed people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a god-damned demonstration, didn't they?^ You know, morally committed religious people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a [bleep] demonstration, didn’t they?
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You know what they are?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You know how he gets things done!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .They knew how to put on a fuckin' protest.^ They knew how to put on a fuckin' protest.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They knew how to put on a [bleep] protest.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You know, morally committed people in South Vietnam knew how to stage a god-damned demonstration, didn't they?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Light yourself on fire!^ Light yourself on fire!
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    .Come on, you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke to match that fire in your belly.^ Come on, you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke to match that fire in your belly.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Come on, you moral crusaders, let’s see a little smoke.
    • George Carlin (1937 - 2008): Legendary Comedian Challenged Status Quo Throughout 50-Year Career 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC i3.democracynow.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Can't you see what you're letting them do to you?"
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    .
    • "Abortion"
  • If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them?^ "Abortion" If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If a fetus is a human being, how come people say "We have two children and one on the way" instead of saying "We have three children?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral?^ "Abortion" If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ There is of course also the American version of this where someone can talk for 5 minutes, or write 10 pages, and you simply don't know if they're being ironic or not.
    • Pandalous : George Carlin, jokes, and performance 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.pandalous.com [Source type: Original source]

    .If a fetus is a human being, how come people say "We have two children and one on the way" instead of saying "We have three children?"^ If a fetus is a human being, how come people say "We have two children and one on the way" instead of saying "We have three children?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Abortion" If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
    • George Carlin's thought for the day 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.scam.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Top 20 George Carlin Quotes - Listverse 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC listverse.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .People say life begins at conception.^ People say life begins at conception.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ AM on June 23, 2008 My mom used to say that part of getting old is getting used to all the great people in your life dying.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ He made me think about things in a way I'd never thought of; he is one of the few people in the world I can say truly changed my life.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.^ I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ About three years ago.
    • george carlin : Punchline Magazine – Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Lance Bottari, Tavernier, Florida June 29, 2008 I saw George at the South Shore Music Circus in Massachusetts about 20 years ago.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Continuous, just keeps rolling along.^ Continuous, just keeps rolling along.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I just kind of do this, I just keep moving along.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Why waste any time in Africa on anything?..they just keep fucking and having more babies and continuing to dessimate the area and population with aids.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .
    • "Abortion"
  • Here's another question I have.^ Here's another question I've been pondering- What is all this shit about Angels?
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ "Abortion" Here's another question I have.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ George Carlin, Brain Droppings Here's another question I've been pondering -- what is all this shit about angels?
    • 'Carlin on Religion' by George Carlin - RichardDawkins.net 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC richarddawkins.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?^ "Abortion" If a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ As we've come to know comedy, George Carlin showed us that the real comedy is based on truth, no matter how unflattering, iconoclastic, or base it may be.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    .Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden?^ Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Are humans better than chicken?” .
    • George Carlin, dead at 71 « Sister Toldjah 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC sistertoldjah.com [Source type: General]

    ^ After all, Joseph Smith was much more wholesome than Carlin, right?
    • George Carlin Meets The Mormons - LDS Prophets General Authorities - Salamander Society 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.salamandersociety.com [Source type: Original source]

    .When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness?^ When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Name six ways we're better than chickens...^ Name six ways we're better than chickens...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Are humans better than chicken?” .
    • George Carlin, dead at 71 « Sister Toldjah 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC sistertoldjah.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I feel as though I've lost my best friend, who understood me in ways that no one else could, and who understood the world better than anyone else.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    See, nobody can do it! .You know why?^ You know why you never that?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know why?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Now, speaking of blowjobs, do you know why they call it a blowjob ?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .'Cause chickens are decent people.^ Chickens are decent people!
    • Top 20 George Carlin Quotes - Listverse 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC listverse.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ 'Cause chickens are decent people.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Andrea Mollick, Long Island, New York June 23, 2008 Thank you for teaching me how to think critically and that chickens are decent people.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you?^ You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Don’t believe what you see?
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you?...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    No. .You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you?...^ You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking up his nuts to a car battery, do you?...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Don’t believe what you see?
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]

    .When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh?^ So the last question is: What are you working on now?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen, huh?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ For my favorite quote, you’d have to watch the last joke he told in his second-to-last special, “Life is Worth Losing” (the joke about how he loves it when nature get’s excessively out of control).
    • Top 20 George Carlin Quotes - Listverse 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC listverse.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Doesn't happen... .'cause chickens are decent people.^ Chickens are decent people!
    • Top 20 George Carlin Quotes - Listverse 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC listverse.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ 'Cause chickens are decent people.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Andrea Mollick, Long Island, New York June 23, 2008 Thank you for teaching me how to think critically and that chickens are decent people.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .
    • "Abortion"
  • But you know, the longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear this phrase "sanctity of life."^ "Abortion" But you know, the longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear this phrase "sanctity of life."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I am saddens me to know we won't hear any more of your comic genious.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Wally – Carlin will be missed more than you will ever know.
    • George Carlin, Standup Scientist – SciTechBlog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC scitech.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    .You've heard that, "sanctity of life."^ Due to the fact that if you read between the comedy (which is funny as hell) you've always made logical points that directly applied to me & my life.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Like me, you’ve already read the countless giant news organizations’ pieces on the life and times of George Carlin.
    • george carlin : Punchline Magazine – Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: General]

    ^ What’s the funniest bit you’ve ever heard?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    You believe in it? .Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit.^ Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Well, I mean, life is sacred?^ Well, I mean, life is sacred?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Who said so? God? .Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death— has been for thousands of years.^ Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death— has been for thousands of years.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You can read the case, and you can watch his 7 Dirty Words routine : He elaborated on that over the years: The text of the Supreme Court case includes the FCC's transcript of the version that got played on the radio: The big one, the word fuck that's the one that hangs them up the most.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Bet you never read that one in Hellouise, huh?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.^ Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ All in good fun, right God?
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question: "Do you believe in God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question: "Do you believe in God?"^ "Do you believe in my God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ God bless you all.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ If they can get you to believe that, it's all over.
    • Marc Cooper » Blog Archive » All Hail George Carlin, Dead at 71 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC marccooper.com [Source type: General]

    "No." Boom! Dead. ."Do you believe in God?"^ If this is how we choose to live and you believe there is no God, why does it bother you so much?
    • George Carlin RIP : Pure Pedantry 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC scienceblogs.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Do you believe in my God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Well to all you wishing him god speed and so on, I guess you did know that he did not believe in god.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    "Yes..." ."Do you believe in my God?"^ "Do you believe in my God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question: "Do you believe in God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Well to all you wishing him god speed and so on, I guess you did know that he did not believe in god.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    "No." Boom! Dead. ."My god has a bigger dick than your god!"^ My god's better'n yours.
    • George Carlin RIP : Pure Pedantry 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC scienceblogs.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ My absence of an imaginary God is bigger than your imagined all hating God”.
    • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Guess Who’s Picketing George Carlin’s Funeral? 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ "My god has a bigger dick than your god!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Sanctity of Life"
  • The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that!^ "Sanctity of Life" The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: " Gimme that!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The only baby boomer icons who were themselves baby boomers were people like Billy Mumy, the Cartwright sisters, and David Cassidy.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    It's mine
    !" .These people were given everything, everything was handed to them, and they took it all, sold it all; sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, and they stayed loaded for twenty years and had a free ride.^ And what's with all these dead celebrities this year???
    • RIP: George Carlin - JoBlo.com 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.joblo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ These people were given everything, everything was handed to them, and they took it all, sold it all; sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, and they stayed loaded for twenty years and had a free ride.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ We’re all used to people accusing us of being a self-absorbed generation, but these things are very vital to democracy.

    .But now they're staring down the barrel of middle-age burnout, and they don't like it.^ They don't write them like that anymore.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't like them.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't like women.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They don't like it, so they've become self-righteous, and they wanna make things hard for young people.^ People spending money they don't have on things they don't need .
    • Top Ten - Top 10 George Carlin Quotes - Top 10 - George Carlin Jokes - George Carlin Tribute - Seven Dirty Words 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternativereel.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The truth is, we don't have people like that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't like them.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They tell em abstain from sex, say no to drugs.^ They tell em abstain from sex, say no to drugs.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ No wonder they're afraid of their bodies, take a look at 'em!
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Religion is just trying to control your mind, control your thought, so they're going to tell you some things you shouldn't say because they're sins .
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .As for rock 'n' roll, they sold that for television commercials a long time ago so they can buy pasta machines and StairMasters and soybean futures.^ They where bought and paid for a long time ago.

    ^ As for rock 'n' roll, they sold that for television commercials a long time ago so they can buy pasta machines and StairMasters and soybean futures.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Seems like such a long time ago now.
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .You know something?^ But you know something?
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ And you know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    .They're cold, bloodless people.^ They're cold, bloodless people.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It's in their slogans, it's in their rhetoric: "No pain, no gain," "Just do it," "Life is short, play hard," "Shit happens, deal with it," "Get a life."^ All the fame and fortune a person can gain in this short life isn't worth an eternity in hell.
    • Haters plan to picket George Carlin's funeral 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC blogs.tampabay.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Or do you just live your life and then say how you feel about what you happen to have seen?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Had no real cousins to play with, and I didn’t give a shit, frankly.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .These people went from "Do your own thing" to "Just say no!"^ These people went from "Do your own thing" to "Just say no!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Carlin’s celebrated “Seven Dirty Words” routine came in the 1970s, but from the 1990s forward, Carlin became “the comedy circuit’s most splenetic curmudgeon, raging over the shallowness of a ‘me first’ culture,” even mocking baby boomers “who went from ‘do your thing’ to ‘just say no’ ” and “from cocaine to Rogaine.” .
    • Bozell Column: George Carlin's 'Comic Acid' | NewsBusters.org 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    ^ I do know that many were upset by his loss, and to say that "Everyone is replaceable" is just crass, no matter who died.
    • 'Carlin on Religion' by George Carlin - RichardDawkins.net 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC richarddawkins.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .They went from "Love is all you need" to "Whoever winds up with the most toys, wins", and they went from cocaine to Rogaine.^ They went from "Love is all you need" to "Whoever winds up with the most toys, wins", and they went from cocaine to Rogaine.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ He loves you and he needs money.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ We all loved you, rest in peace.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .And you know something?^ You know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    ^ But you know something?
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ And you know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • » George Carlin Lives On Dvorak Uncensored: General interest observations and true web-log. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.dvorak.org [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They're still counting grams, only now it's fat grams.^ They're Only Words .

    ^ They're still counting grams, only now it's fat grams.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They're fat.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    .And the worst of it is we have to watch the commercials on TV for Levi's loose-fitting jeans and fat-ass Docker pants because these degenerate, yuppie, Boomer cocksuckers couldn't keep their hands off the croissants and the Häägen-Dasz and their big fat asses have spread all over and they have to wear fat-ass Docker pants.^ And the worst of it is we have to watch the commercials on TV for Levi's loose-fitting jeans and fat-ass Docker pants because these degenerate, yuppie, Boomer cocksuckers couldn't keep their hands off the croissants and the Häägen-Dasz and their big fat asses have spread all over and they have to wear fat-ass Docker pants.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Fuck these Boomers, fuck these yuppies...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question: "Do you believe in God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Fuck these Boomers, fuck these yuppies...^ Fuck these Boomers, fuck these yuppies...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    and fuck everyone, now that I think of it.
    • "Free-Floating Hostility"

You Are All Diseased (1999)

.
  • I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!^ I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic ****ing hatreds!
    • George Carlin's thought for the day 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.scam.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Originally Posted by peregrine I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic ****ing hatreds!
    • George Carlin's thought for the day 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.scam.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out.^ The world lost a man that knew how to make you laugh out loud until you cried!!!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .
    • "Airport Security"
  • No matter what color you are, "You go, girl" should probably go! Right along with "You the man!"^ You have no right to complain.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Airport Security" No matter what color you are, "You go, girl" should probably go!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Right along with "You the man!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ."Hey, you the man!"^ "Hey, you the man!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Oh, yeah? .Well, you the fuckin' honky.^ Well, you the fuckin' honky.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Minority Language: A-Happens To Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend"
  • "Happens to be."^ "Minority Language: A-Happens To Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend" "Happens to be."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Minority Language" No one is "openly" black.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    "He happens to be black." .Like it's a fucking accident, you know.^ Like it's a fucking accident, you know.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know that word mixed ...that the veterinarian puts on the form...when even he don't know what the fuck you got.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ In America, I don’t really care about upsetting someone in the crowd, but I didn’t really feel like that was my job there, you know?
    • george carlin : Punchline Magazine – Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: General]

    He happens to be black? Yes, he happens to be black. Ah, yes, yes, yes. .He had two black parents?^ He had two black parents?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Oh, yes, that's right, two black parents.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Oh, yes, that's right, two black parents.^ He had two black parents?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Oh, yes, that's right, two black parents.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    And they fucked? .Oh, indeed they did.^ Oh, indeed they did.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .So where does the surprise part come in?^ So where does the surprise part come in?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I would think it would be more unusual if he just "happened" to be Scandinavian!^ I would think it would be more unusual if he just "happened" to be Scandinavian!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I strongly believe in voting, but do you really think Carlin would've accomplished more by voting than by doing the work he did?
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ George… We will miss you more than I think you would have believed.
    • R.I.P. George Carlin – Deadline.com 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.deadline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .
    • "Minority Language"
  • No one is "openly" black.^ There's no one now who can pick apart language so thoroughly and hilariously as he did.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ There's no better thread than this one to discuss language.
    • Goodbye, George Carlin - Boing Boing 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.boingboing.net [Source type: General]

    .Well, maybe James Brown.^ Well, maybe James Brown .
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Or Louis Farrakhan. .Louis Farrakhan is openly black.^ Louis Farrakhan is openly black.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Colin Powell is not openly black. .Colin Powell is openly white.^ Colin Powell is not openly black.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Colin Powell is openly white.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .He just "happens to be" black.^ He just "happens to be" black.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    • "Man Stuff"
  • Another thing I'm getting tired of is when after six policemen stick a floor lamp up some black guy's ass, the police department announces they're going to have "sensitivity training". If you need special training to be told not to jam a large, cumbersome object up someone else's asshole, maybe you're too fucked up to be on the police force in the first place.

The Little David Years (1971–1977) (1999)

.
  • [in response to someone in the audience yelling something] Would somebody just put a dick in that guy's mouth, please?^ Would somebody just put a dick in that guy's mouth, please?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I'm still sort of in denial about it, hoping he'd have something funny to say about this sad mess, but now I just have to imagine how it would be, and the things he'd say.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Well,” he responded, “that's just the way I would want to be treated.” As a performer, Carlin was uncompromising, knowing that his audience trusted him not to be afraid of offending them.
    • Paul Krassner: Remembering George Carlin 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.counterpunch.org [Source type: General]

    'Cause that's what he wants. He's a cocksucker in disguise. .He's got his mouth open 'cause he wants someone to cum in it.^ He's got his mouth open 'cause he wants someone to cum in it.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Now, do you wanna keep making noise, motherfucker, and we can find you that way, or are you just a punk coward asshole bullshit loud motherfucker and you're gonna shut up now so we don't find out where the fuck you're sitting?^ You just keep getting a new dog, don't you?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You can’t shut me up.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Keeps you on you're toes.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .'Cause if you keep it up, we'll grab your ass and throw you on the fucking street, where you belong, with your mother!^ This'll help you clean up after your dog.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ 'Cause if you keep it up, we'll grab your ass and throw you on the fucking street, where you belong, with your mother!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .And I'm fucking her in the asshole every night anyway, so fuck you and your sister and your wife!^ And I'm fucking her in the asshole every night anyway, so fuck you and your sister and your wife!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ We will continue your legacy and honor your memory by watching every tribute to you available on tv this week.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Not me, bullshit, fuck you, up yours, get laid, eat shit, drop dead, jack me off, suck this, I don't need parts that badly, I'm not that sick!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .If you got a kid, I hope your fucking kid dies in a car fire!^ If you got a kid, I hope your fucking kid dies in a car fire!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ After a few moments, Carlin added this final dismissive to his annihilated heckler, "and I hope you and your family get in a car crash and burn to death."
    • Bozell Column: George Carlin's 'Comic Acid' | NewsBusters.org 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Thanks for your comic master pieces and I hope to see you in heaven.
    • R.I.P. George Carlin – Deadline.com 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.deadline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .How do you like that, you stupid cocksucker?^ How do you like that, you stupid cocksucker?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ No doubt, years ago it was "conservatives" who were most likely to tell you how you should live your life.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How you don't think that all the Muslims and Mormons (and every other religion) are equally stupid and ignorant is beyond me.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here!^ Get the fuck out of here.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Angel, get the fuck up here!
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    … You know? .See … You gotta use psychology.^ You can have your own opinion of the film if you personally have seen it, rather than use the opinions of other people telling you not to see it.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You gotta see something first to know you never saw it.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You gotta be a bit of a psychologist up here and know how to appeal to a person.^ You know how he gets things done!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ You know how it is, right?
    • Goodbye, George Carlin - Boing Boing 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.boingboing.net [Source type: General]

    ^ You know how reliable it is.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    • "How to Handle a Heckler"

Complaints and Grievances (2001)

.
  • I realized some time ago that I'm not separate from nature just because I have a primate brain - an upper brain - because underneath the primate brain, there's a mammalian brain, and beneath the mammalian brain, there's a reptilian brain; and it's those two lower brains that made the upper brain possible in the first place.^ I realized some time ago that I'm not separate from nature just because I have a primate brain - an upper brain - because underneath the primate brain, there's a mammalian brain, and beneath the mammalian brain, there's a reptilian brain; and it's those two lower brains that made the upper brain possible in the first place.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ In 2004, Carlin made news twice: first for placing second on Comedy Central’s list of the “Top 100 Comics of All Time;” second, for entering a treatment facility to cure his dependency on alcohol and painkillers.
    • George Carlin - Yahoo! TV 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - Yahoo! TV 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ So if I write something down, some observation—I see something on television that reminds me of something I wanted to say already—the first time I write it, the first time I hear it, it makes an impression.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Here's the way it works: The primate brain says, "Give peace a chance."^ The mammalian brain says, "Give peace a chance, but first let's kill this motherfucker."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Here's the way it works: The primate brain says, "Give peace a chance."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I’ve often described the way a 20-year-old versus, say, a 60- or a 70-year-old, the way it works.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .The mammalian brain says, "Give peace a chance, but first let's kill this motherfucker."^ And the reptilian brain says, "Let's just kill the motherfucker, go to the peace rally and get laid."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Here's the way it works: The primate brain says, "Give peace a chance."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The mammalian brain says, "Give peace a chance, but first let's kill this motherfucker."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And the reptilian brain says, "Let's just kill the motherfucker, go to the peace rally and get laid."
  • There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about.^ Just says it all, really.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ We all know how they talk.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    That's what interests me. .These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them!^ These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Some of them are disgusting. .Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind.^ Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I’ll give you one that, even to people that don’t mind mild cursing, bothers some people—especially women.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .So let's get started with a couple of them.
  • Not me, bullshit, fuck you, up yours, get laid, eat shit, drop dead, jack me off, suck this, I don't need parts that badly, I'm not that sick!
  • Here's some bumper stickers I'd like to see:
    • We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
    • We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters.
    • We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet.
    • We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet.^ Plus he knocked up your daughter.
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

      ^ Our thoughts are with you and your family.
      • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

      ^ Fuck you and everybody that looks like you.
      • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

      .But he does sell drugs to your honor student.^ But he does sell drugs to your honor student.
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
      • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

      .Plus he knocked up your daughter.
  • If my car should be in such a position where I can't quite see what's going on, can't get a good enough look, I'm not the least bit shy about asking the police to bring the bodies over a little closer to the car.^ I like to feel like I can at least get my arms around something and have a good solid understanding of it.

    ^ My thoughts and prayers go out to his wife Sally Wade (no relation), daughter Kelly, manager Jerry Hamza, and everybody at Carlin Productions.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Somewhere in there I was reminded of the bit on your web site where you talk about your second heart attack at Dodger Stadium.
    • George Carlin May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008 | Dusty Wright's Culture Catch 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.culturecatch.com [Source type: Original source]

    ."Pardon me, officer, would you mind dragging that twisted-looking chap over here a little closer to the car, please?^ "Pardon me, officer, would you mind dragging that twisted-looking chap over here a little closer to the car, please?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Here's a little household hint for you.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And if you're one of those people who needs a little space...please...go the fuck outside.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that.^ There will never be anyone like you.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ My wife has never seen anyone shaped quite like that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Arkansas June 28, 2008 ain was a master of his trade..there will never be anyone like him again.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Look at that, Sugar Lips!^ Look at that, Sugar Lips!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's his ribcage sticking out the glove compartment.^ That's his ribcage sticking out the glove compartment.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    That will be all, officer. .You can throw him back on the pile."^ You can throw him back on the pile."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Here 's what he said back in 2004 when Tim Russert (of all people) asked him "Do you vote?": No, I don't.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Do you pick on the little guy because he's skinny and he can't fight back, or do you all gang up on the bodybuilder because he's got a lot of steaks and chops on him?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    • "Traffic Accidents: Keep Movin'!"

Life Is Worth Losing (2005)

.
  • I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free.^ Digital and smoke free.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Fupped Duck at 1:16 PM on June 23, 2008 "I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist.^ A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.^ Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.^ I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I'm a high-tech lowlife.^ I'm a high-tech lowlife.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bicoastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.^ A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bicoastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ THE STATE OF MAINSTREAM MUSIC Art isn't a commodity that you haul in and out ...
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    .I'm new wave, but I'm old school, and my inner child is outward bound.^ I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice-activated and biodegradable. .I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.^ I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I interface with my database, and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging a bullet, pushing the envelope.^ Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging a bullet, pushing the envelope.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs.^ I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.^ I’ve got no need for coke and speed.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I've got no urge to binge and purge.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.^ I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary.^ A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder.^ A top-gun bottom feeder.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ A street-wise smart bomb.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ A street-wise smart bomb, a top-gun bottom feeder.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.^ I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.^ I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    A raging workaholic; a working rageaholic. .Out of rehab, and in denial.^ Out of rehab, and in denial.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda.^ I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down.^ You can’t shut me up.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Why is it that to shut down windows, you have to press start?
    • George Carlin, Standup Scientist – SciTechBlog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC scitech.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Tell the President on national television to "shut the hell up", and you'll get a reaction.
    • Bozell Column: George Carlin's 'Comic Acid' | NewsBusters.org 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. .I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion forward.^ I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion forward.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Up front, down home, low-rent, high-maintenance.^ Up front, down home, low-rent, high-maintenance.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Super-size, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready, and built to last.^ Super-size, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready, and built to last.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last!
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk, headcase.^ I'm a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk, headcase.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.^ Prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Send my love to the invisible man who lives in the sky, I'm sure you had him laughing too!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I love your stint about how you hate people who name their boys Kyle and Todd.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing, a supportive bonding nurturing primary caregiver.^ There'll be no sharing, no caring, no birthing, no bonding, no parenting, no nurturing.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .My output is down, but my income is up.^ My output is down, but my income is up.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.^ I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't have a negative cash flow position.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.^ I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports!
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Food Movies Check Stocks Mail Games Sports Messenger THINGS TO DO .
    • George Carlin - Yahoo! TV 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Food Movies Check Stocks Mail Games Music Sports Messenger omg!
    • George Carlin - Yahoo! TV 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant.^ I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly, and lactose-intolerant.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I like rough sex, I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my E-Mail, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn.^ Rough tough and hard to bluff.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I like rough sex, I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my E-Mail, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I like tough love.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I bought a microwave at a mini mall;I bought a mini van in a mega store.^ I bought a microwave at a mini mall;I bought a mini van in a mega store.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I eat fast food in the slow lane.^ I eat fast-food in the slow lane.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I eat fast food in the slow lane.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes.^ I'm toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.^ A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.^ I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean.^ I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal, lean and mean.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Massachusetts June 23, 2008 I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Cocked, locked and ready to rock.^ Cocked, locked and ready to rock.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Rough tough and hard to bluff.^ Rough, tough and hard to bluff.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Rough tough and hard to bluff.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I like rough sex, I like rough sex, I like tough love, I use the F-word in my E-Mail, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore, no soft porn.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride.^ I’ve got glide in my stride.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and whinin.'^ Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .I don't snooze, so I don't lose.^ I don't snooze, so I don't lose.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road.^ I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I party hearty, and lunch time is crunch time.^ I party hearty, and lunch time is crunch time.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt.^ I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ PS - Any time Man thinks he is above God, God makes sure there is no doubt he's not.
    • George Carlin's 'View': Wildfire Victims 'Get What's Coming to Them' | NewsBusters.org 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    ^ George, you will be missed, there is no doubt about that.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    And I'm hanging tough, over and out. .
    • "Modern Man"
  • You ever notice that?^ "Modern Man" You ever notice that?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Interview With Jesus" Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If you need a Carlin monologue to show your 12-year-old, and you would rather that it be clean, use "A Modern Man".
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats.^ Any time you see two groups of people who really hate each other, chances are good they're wearing different kind of hats.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And they’ll be other times, other opportunities.
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    ^ How old were you when you first realized what he meant to other people?
    • george carlin : Punchline Magazine – Comedy News, Comedy Blog, and all things in Stand Up Comedy - Comedy News, Comedy Blog, Comedy Reviews and all things in Stand Up Comedy. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC punchlinemagazine.com [Source type: General]

    Keep an eye on that, it might be important. .
    • "Extreme Human Behavior"
  • Cannibalism.^ Extreme Human Behavior .

    ^ "Extreme Human Behavior" There's a reason for this, there's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Extreme Human Behavior" Cannibalism.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Imagine that: chowing down on another human being.^ When you get right down to it human beings are nothing more than ordinary jungle beasts.
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .You gotta be all out of beef jerky, man.^ You gotta be all out of beef jerky, man.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You are a good man!!My heart goes out to the family of George.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Now you know whether all that "stuff out there" is just you...or there're pork chops finally being brought to the table.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .You gotta be really fucking hungry.^ And there's a lot of that social criticism in the shows now, because what I'm really trying to say to people is, "Don't you see what the fuck you're doing here?
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    ^ This all played out in the late '60s as I realized more and more that I had to be true to myself, to my "Fuck you" voice instead of my "Ain't I cute?"
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    But it happens, doesn't it? .Still happens to this day.^ Still happens to this day.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .A bunch of people stranded in the wilderness run out of pop tarts, gotta eat something...^ AM on June 23, 2008 I'm only like 100 comments in to this thread, but I had to pop out and say something (and I apologize if it was said previously).
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Might as well be Steve!^ Might as well be Steve!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And by the way, how do you decide who to eat first?^ And by the way, how do you decide who to eat first?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How do you decide who's first on the barbecue rack?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Who cares how Bush got into college?...You think Barrack Osama got in there without any help?"
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .How do you decide who's first on the barbecue rack?^ And by the way, how do you decide who to eat first?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How do you decide who's first on the barbecue rack?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Who cares how Bush got into college?...You think Barrack Osama got in there without any help?"
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .Do you pick on the little guy because he's skinny and he can't fight back, or do you all gang up on the bodybuilder because he's got a lot of steaks and chops on him?^ You just pick it up by the loop and...
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You guys will be back."
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    ^ You can throw him back on the pile."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Extreme Human Behavior"
  • You know the best thing about necrophilia?^ You know about it.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The best thing about living at the beach is...
    • George Carlin 1937-2008 -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You know how he gets things done!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .You don't have to bring flowers.^ You don't have to bring flowers.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Yeah... .Usually, they're already there.^ The ones being remembered are already dead, they're not going to wake up now.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They’re down there near the swarthy end of the white scale – just brown enough to bomb!

    ^ Then there are some people, they're not stupid, they're not full of shit...
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .
    • "Extreme Human Behavior"
  • There's a reason for this, there's a reason education sucks, and it's the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed.^ Furthermore, there is increasing fossil and archaeological evidence that human beings and all of the extinct apes could have lived at the same time, side by side.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .It's never going to get any better.^ It's never going to get any better.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Don't look for it. .Be happy with what you've got...^ Be happy with what you've got...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    because the owners of this country don’t want that. .I'm talking about the real owners now...^ I'm talking about the real owners now...
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And now, they're thinking about banning toy guns - and they're gonna keep the fucking real ones !
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ He really knew what was going on in the world/government and wasn't afraid of talking about it publicly.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    the real owners. .The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.^ The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ We make the decisions that affect all of you.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ And so, those things were all important in this.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    Forget the politicians. .The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice.^ They are there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ The answer to this is to give us freedom of choice.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    You don’t. .You have no choice.^ You have no choice.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You have owners. They own you.^ They own you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And they own all the big media companies so they control just about all the information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .They own everything.^ They own everything.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ YOU HAVE OWNERS. THEY OWN YOU. They own everything.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .They own all the important land.^ They own all the important land.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They own all the important land, they own and control the corporations.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They own and control the corporations.^ They own and control the corporations.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They own all the important land, they own and control the corporations.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ And they own all the big media companies so they control just about all the information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls.^ They where bought and paid for a long time ago.

    ^ They’ve long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    .They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.^ They got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And they own all the big media companies so they control just about all the information you get to hear.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They own you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They got you by the balls.^ They’ve got you by the balls.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They've got you by the balls.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They got you by the balls.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying.^ They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying lobbying to get what they want.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying ­ lobbying to get what they want.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Lobbying to get what they want.^ Lobbying to get what they want.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying lobbying to get what they want.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying -- lobbying to get what they want.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Well, we know what they want.^ Well, we know what they want.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else.” .
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know what they want?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want.^ But I’ll tell you what they don’t want.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Don't blame yourself for what you can't ignore/ Don't blame yourself for wanting more and more and more" 4.
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    ^ Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else.” .
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking.^ They don’t want that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    .They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking.^ They don’t want that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don’t want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And people get embarrassed by that, don't they?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They’re not interested in that.^ They're not interested in that.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They’re not interested in that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ All they're interested in is their own reproductive freedom...and their pocketbooks.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. .They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin’ years ago.^ They don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They're fucking broke!
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Some people don't want it, and that's sad.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .They don’t want that.^ They don’t want that.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't want to hear from you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I do care about the messages contained in the parables, they are still good, and I don’t want to see them discarded because we can’t separate a story from it’s message.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You know what they want?^ They want to pay you back!

    ^ You know what they want?
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They always want to tell you what you should do with your body, how to be a good American, and generally have a rigid view on how you should live your life.
    • Althouse: George Carlin died. 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC althouse.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They want obedient workers.^ They want obedient workers.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork.^ Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And people like Tim Russert, who aids and abets the lies, who acts simply as a mouthpiece for the government/corporate machine, are memorialized like some kind of saint...
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    .And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.^ Obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Obedient workers -- people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Obedient workers ­ people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly s---tier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .And now they’re coming for your Social Security money.^ And now they’re coming for your Social Security money.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And, now, they’re coming for your Social Security.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And, now, they're coming for your Social Security.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    .They want your fuckin' retirement money.^ They want your fucking retirement money.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ They want your fuckin' retirement money.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They want your f---ing retirement money.
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    .They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street.^ They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They want to pay you back!

    ^ I don't understand why a person would want to do that, unless they were thinking, "Let's embarrass George," or "Let's try to give George a bad name," or something.
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin | TV | Interview | The A.V. Club 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.avclub.com [Source type: General]

    .And you know something?^ But you know something?
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ And you know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know something?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    They’ll get it. .They’ll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place.^ You will be Fuckin missed by all.
    • R.I.P. George Carlin – Deadline.com 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.deadline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ They own you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They'll get it all, sooner or later, because they own this fucking place.
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    .It’s a big club and you ain't in it.^ You and I are not in the big club.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It’s a big club and you ain't in it.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .You and I are not in the big club.^ You and I are not in the big club.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Theres a big club in Washington D. C. folks, and YOU AINT IN IT!” .
    • George Carlin – Conspiracy Theorists 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.prisonplanet.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It's a big club, and you ain't in it.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe.^ You and I are not in the big club.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.^ I think you'd have a field day with this.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    The table has tilted, folks. .The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice.^ The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And nobody seems to notice.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Nobody seems to care.^ Nobody seems to care.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on.^ Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Who were the last white people that you can remember that we bombed?

    ^ "Airport Security" No matter what color you are, "You go, girl" should probably go!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Good, honest, hard-working people continue — these are people of modest means — continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them.^ They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table and figure out how badly they're getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago.
    • George Carlin, American Radical | | AlterNet 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.alternet.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ December 25 (Merry Christmas to all) THE FANATICS WILL WIN People who don't give a sh*t and have nothing to lose will always prevail over people who are fighting for some vague sentiment scawled on a piece of parchment.
    • George Carlin's thought for the day 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.scam.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Or similarly: people who get a great deal on a house because it's close to the airport, then spend all their time complaining about the noise?
    • George Carlin's 'View': Wildfire Victims 'Get What's Coming to Them' | NewsBusters.org 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

    .They don’t give a fuck about you.^ They don’t give a fuck about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ After that, they don't want to know about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It simply does not give a fuck about you!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They don’t give a fuck about you.^ They don’t give a fuck about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ After that, they don't want to know about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It simply does not give a fuck about you!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They don’t care about you at all!^ They don’t care about you at all!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I don’t care what you think.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They don't care about Latino women.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    At all! At all! And nobody seems to notice. .Nobody seems to care.^ Nobody seems to care.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    That’s what the owners count on. .The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes every day, because the owners of this country know the truth.^ "The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ It’s like, "Big White Daddy Knows Best – We’ll tell you what you want to be called, you African Americans."

    ^ You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth, like the fact that there's a bigot and a racist in every living room on every street corner in this country.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.^ "The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."
    • George Carlin: American Radical 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.thenation.com [Source type: General]

    ^ The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
    • Zen » Blog Archive » Top 100 Funny Quotes 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC leftofzen.com [Source type: General]
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ It’s called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    • "Dumb Americans"

It's Bad for Ya (2008)

.
  • This conversation is bound to turn up.^ "This conversation is bound to turn up.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Two guys in a street meet each other, and one of them says, "Hey, did you hear?^ I want to say, "why did you do that?"
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Two guys in a street meet each other, and one of them says, "Hey, did you hear?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Two guys in a street meet each other and one of them says, 'hey, did you hear?
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Phil Davis died."^ Phil Davis died."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    "Phil Davis? .I just saw him yesterday."^ Danielle, Florida June 28, 2008 Just saw him in Bridgeport March 13th..Funniest man thats ever lived.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ June 23rd, 2008 11:15 am ET I just saw him last month for the first (and only, now) time.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ June 23rd, 2008 12:37 pm ET I was just in vegas on june 5th and saw him at the orleans.
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    "Yeah? … Didn't help. He died anyway. .Apparently, the simple act of you seeing him did not slow his cancer down.^ Apparently, the simple act of you seeing him did not slow down his cancer.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Apparently, the simple act of you seeing him did not slow his cancer down.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ See, hey why do you think they call him "Porky," eh?
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .In fact, it may have made it more aggressive.^ In fact, it may have made it more aggressive.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .You know, you could be the cause for Phil's death.^ You know, you could be the cause for Phil's death.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know, you could be the cause for Phil's Death, how, do you live with yourself?'"
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ You will be missed more than you could possibly know.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .How do you live with yourself?"
  • I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country.
  • Listen.^ How do you live with yourself?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And you call yourself Jesus #25?
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .There are 200 countries in the world now.^ There is a huge hole in the comedy world now.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ B McNeal, Washington, District of Columbia June 23, 2008 There is now a big black hole in the world of comedy.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ This world, this country, desperately needs people like that - now more than ever (something he certainly sensed).
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    .Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites?^ But where do people think these politicians come from?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Well, where do we think these people come from?
    • George Carlin, 1937-2008 – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Why would he do that? .Why would God have a favorite country?^ Why would God have a favorite country?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And why would it be America out of all the countries?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And why would it be America out of all the countries?^ Why would God have a favorite country?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And why would it be America out of all the countries?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Why the hell would I want to make a log of all the music I listen to?
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    .Because you have the most money?^ Because you have the most money?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I do my best to live by them and I can always read this and smile because you made some of the most complicated ideas sound so simple.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Because he likes our National Anthem?^ Think about which direction our nation and others like us would be heading today instead of towards Afghanistan.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    .Maybe it's because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni!^ Maybe it's because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    It's delusional thinking! .And America is not alone with this sort of delusions Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side.^ Speaking of Abraham, the Apostle Paul said, “The words, ‘it was credited to him’ were written not written for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness — for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It is the place for God to send those who despise the One they know exists from the created world and their conscience.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .America prays for God to destroy our enemies.^ Our enemies pray for God to destroy us.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ America prays for God to destroy our enemies.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Our enemies pray for God to destroy us.^ America prays for God to destroy our enemies.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Our enemies pray for God to destroy us.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Somebody's gonna be disappointed.^ Somebody's gonna be disappointed.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Somebody's wasting their fucking time.^ Somebody's wasting their fucking time.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Why waste any time in Africa on anything?..they just keep fucking and having more babies and continuing to dessimate the area and population with aids.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    Could it be everyone? .
    • "God Bless America"
  • Here's another one of these civic customs: swearing on the Bible.^ "God Bless America" Here's another one of these civic customs: swearing on the Bible.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Only God knows where your heart is and no one has the right to judge anothers soul.
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ George Carlin made me laugh, he made a lot of people laugh, and quite possibly think… God Bless him (if God is real) Whom ever is responsible for our blessings, George was one of them.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Do you understand that shit?^ Do you understand that shit?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .They tell you to raise your right hand, place your left hand on the Bible.^ All you have to do to an audience is say, "That’s a nice dog" and they’re all yours.

    ^ All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right?
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Many condolescences to your loved ones left behind and may you rest in peace.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Does this stuff really matter?^ Does this stuff really matter?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Which hand? .Does God really give a fuck about details like this?^ It simply does not give a fuck about you!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Does God really give a fuck about details like this?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And now, they're thinking about banning toy guns - and they're gonna keep the fucking real ones !
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Suppose you put right hand on the Bible, you raise your left hand.^ Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside-down.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ They tell you to raise your right hand, place your left hand on the Bible.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Why not put your left hand on the Bible, let your right hand hang down by your side?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Would that count? .Or would God say: "Sorry, wrong hand!^ Or would God say: "Sorry, wrong hand!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ PM on June 24, 2008 James Lipton: "If God exists, what would you like to hear him say when you get to the Pearly Gates?"
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ AM on June 23, 2008 On Inside the Actor's Studio, when asked If Heaven exists, what would he like to hear God say when he arrives at the pearly gates.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Try again!" .Why does one hand have to be raised?^ Why does one hand have to be raised?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    What is the magic in this gesture? .This seems like some sort of a primitive voodoo mojo stick.^ This seems like some sort of a primitive voodoo mojo stick.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Why not put your left hand on the Bible, let your right hand hang down by your side?^ They tell you to raise your right hand, place your left hand on the Bible.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Don't put your hands in your pockets!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose you put right hand on the Bible, you raise your left hand.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    That's more natural. .Or put it in your pocket.^ Or put it in your pocket.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Don't put your hands in your pockets!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's what your mother used to say.^ That's what your mother used to say.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ AM on June 23, 2008 My mom used to say that part of getting old is getting used to all the great people in your life dying.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ HENDRA: But in the natural evolution of things, the seven words that you couldn’t say to your Mother became "The Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television."

    ."Don't put your hands in your pockets!"^ Or put it in your pocket.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ "Don't put your hands in your pockets!"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I’ve not been able to put things in God’s hands and let him handle them…therefore, I don’t believe that I’m leaning on him (as I believe I should).
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Does she know something we don't know?^ Does she know something we don't know?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Is this hand shit really important?^ Is this hand shit really important?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Let's get back to the Bible: America's favorite national theatrical prop.^ Let's get back to the Bible: America's favorite national theatrical prop.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside-down.^ Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside-down.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose the Bible they hand you is an old Bible and half the pages are missing.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And you swear to tell the truth on an upside-down backward Bible.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Or backward. Or both! .And you swear to tell the truth on an upside-down backward Bible.^ 'Cause I gotta tell you the truth, folks.
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Do you ever wonder what it would be like to hear a politician tell the truth without " policitcal correctness".
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I don’t really identify with America, I don’t really feel like an American or part of the American experience, and I don’t really feel like a member of the human race, to tell you the truth.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    Would that count? .Suppose the Bible they hand you is an old Bible and half the pages are missing.^ We will miss you old fellow!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ As the old witch sighed when they set her afire, "Tis the hand of Fate that rocks the cradle of liberty."
    • The Early George Carlin 1956-1970 - WFMU's Beware of the Blog 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blog.wfmu.org [Source type: General]

    ^ Please give my 'regards' to God - if it isn't too much of a burden to ask:) You will be missed, you old curmudgeon.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Suppose all they have is a Chinese Bible, in an American court!^ Suppose all they have is a Chinese Bible, in an American court!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside-down.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose they hand you an upside-down backward Chinese Braille Bible and half the pages missing!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Or Braille Bible, and you're not blind!^ Or Braille Bible, and you're not blind!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose they hand you an upside-down backward Chinese Braille Bible and half the pages missing!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Suppose they hand you an upside-down backward Chinese Braille Bible and half the pages missing!^ Suppose the Bible they hand you to swear on is upside-down.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose the Bible they hand you is an old Bible and half the pages are missing.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Suppose they hand you an upside-down backward Chinese Braille Bible and half the pages missing!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .At what point does all of this stuff just break down and become just a lot of stupid shit that somebody made up?^ All that stuff is just happening.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ I just know he's down there, screaming up at us...
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ My favorite of his was about "stuff".I am sure that George is looking at us all and having a good laugh with LOTS of jokes to tell.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .They fucking made it up, folks!^ They fucking made it up, folks!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    It's make-believe! .
    • "Swearing On The Bible"
  • Now if you think you do have rights, one last assignment for you.^ So the last question is: What are you working on now?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Oh wait, I just got it, you think Im black right?
    • The Superficial - George Carlin dies at 71 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: General]

    ^ I'm sure you have them rolling in the aisles in heaven right now.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .Next time you're at the computer, get on the internet, go to Wikipedia.^ We're going to miss you.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]
    • Comedian George Carlin has died at 71 - Democratic Underground 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC www.democraticunderground.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ I know what you're going to say.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Next time you're at the computer, get on the internet, go to Wikipedia.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .When you get to Wikipedia, in the search field for Wikipedia, I want you to type in "Japanese Americans 1942" and you'll find out all about your precious fucking rights, Okay?^ It’s just something that you want to get out of you.

    ^ Argue all you want about your good book, but it’s a farce, it was and always will be!!!!
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Now’s the time to find out where you’ll be spending it.
    • George Carlin’s Take On Religion » Religious Freaks 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC religiousfreaks.com [Source type: Original source]

    All right. .You know about it.^ You know about it.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It’s a bubble of personal idealism and the more you enjoy it, the more you know about it, the more you personalise it, the more unburstable the bubble becomes.
    • George Carlin’s Journal – Last.fm 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC lastfm.spiegel.de [Source type: General]

    ^ Isn’t it interesting to know that those who run your lives would have the nerve to tell you about it in this manner?
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .In 1942, there were 110,000 Japanese American citizens in good standing, law-abiding people who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country.^ In 1942, there were 110,000 Japanese American citizens in good standing, law-abiding people who were thrown into internment camps simply because their parents were born in the wrong country.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ And people like Tim Russert, who aids and abets the lies, who acts simply as a mouthpiece for the government/corporate machine, are memorialized like some kind of saint...
    • George Carlin - 1937 - 2008 RIP | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Yeah, I can see the disgust for people who would rather watch American Idol than engage themselves with something that matters.
    • George Carlin On Countdown - True Comic Standing | Crooks and Liars 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC crooksandliars.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .That's all they did wrong.^ That's all they did wrong.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The sword of God, the blood of the lamb, vengeance is mine, millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question: "Do you believe in God?"
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ During the decades we needed most to have someone always asking the right questions and saying what's wrong here, you did it all!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers no right to due process of any kind.^ They had no right to a lawyer, no right to a fair trial, no right to a jury of their peers no right to due process of any kind.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .The only right they had: "Right this way" into the internment camps!^ I didn’t do book reports, but now what’s happened is that showoff has a partner who does his homework and the left/right brain are allied, united, now in a way they weren’t.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    .Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most, their government took them away!^ Just when these American citizens needed their rights the most, their government took them away!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ How sad he had to leave us just when we needed him most.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ During the decades we needed most to have someone always asking the right questions and saying what's wrong here, you did it all!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .And rights aren’t rights if someone can take them away.^ And rights aren’t rights if someone can take them away.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You were right, George; "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .They're privileges.^ They're privileges.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges.^ That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter.^ And if you read the news even badly, you know that every year the list gets shorter and shorter.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ You know how he gets things done!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ You know that word mixed ...that the veterinarian puts on the form...when even he don't know what the fuck you got.
    • George Carlin - Parental Advisory Explicit Lyrics 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.iceboxman.com [Source type: Original source]

    .You see all, sooner or later.^ You see all, sooner or later.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ See you later.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ The difference is, at the computer you can stop, think back, think forward, look around, turn the page as it were, you can see the whole world all at once.
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    .Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them!^ It simply does not give a fuck about you!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Does God really give a fuck about details like this?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .The government doesn't care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare or your safety.^ How do you think about the role of vulgarity in your humor?
    • George Carlin | Jay Dixit 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC jaydixit.com [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Your name Your e-mail address Add the name and e-mail address of a friend or family member you'd like to notify about this Guest Book.
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    ^ Not only was he funny, but he made you think about things from his point of view, which you couldn't help but feel was right!
    • Guest Book for George Carlin – Online Guest Book by Legacy.com. 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.legacy.com [Source type: General]

    .It simply does not give a fuck about you!^ They don’t give a fuck about you.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Does God really give a fuck about details like this?
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ It simply does not give a fuck about you!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .It's interested in its own power.^ It's interested in its own power.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    That's the only thing. .Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible.^ Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    • "You Have No Rights"

Books

Brain Droppings (1997)

.
  • Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr.
  • Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence.^ Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr. God bless the homicidal maniacs.
    • 101 Greatest George Carlin Quotes 31 January 2010 12:50 UTC blogzarro.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Ephraim Zimbalist Jr. Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic.^ If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. .Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result."^ Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result."
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .For instance: a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck.^ For instance: a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    He is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. .But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah!^ But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah!
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    Then he is the victim of an irony. .If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein's army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.^ I listen to George Carlin on my iPod to make it through the day without killing my coworkers or losing my mind.
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    ^ And, being heavier than air, crashed through the roof of the funhouse, landing on several clowns, killing them all and crushing their red noses beyond recognition."
    • George Carlin Dead at 71 | MetaFilter 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC www.metafilter.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. .Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic.^ If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son, that will be precisely ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    It will be coincidental. .If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic.^ If Darryl Stingley's son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son, that will be precisely ironic.
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • George Carlin - Wikiquote 9 January 2010 0:50 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .If he paralyzes Jack Tatum's son, that will be precisely ironic.
  • "One thing leads to another"? Not always.^ Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing.
    • George Carlin - Wikiqu