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Good Morning, Vietnam

Theatrical poster
Directed by Barry Levinson
Produced by Larry Brezner
Mark Johnson
Written by Mitch Markowitz
Starring Robin Williams
Forest Whitaker
Bruno Kirby
J.T. Walsh
Music by Alex North
Cinematography Peter Sova
Editing by Stu Linder
Distributed by Touchstone Pictures
Release date(s) December 23, 1987
Running time 120 minutes
Country United States
Language English
Budget $13,000,000 (est.)
Gross revenue $123,922,370 (USA)

Good Morning, Vietnam is a 1987 American comedy-drama film set in Saigon during the Vietnam War, based on the career of Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams), a disc jockey on Armed Forces Radio Service (AFRS), who proves hugely popular with the troops serving in South Vietnam, but infuriates his superiors with what they call his "irreverent tendency." The film was written by Mitch Markowitz and directed by Barry Levinson.

Most of Williams' humorous radio broadcasts were improvised.[1] Williams was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role. This film is number 36 on Bravo's "100 Funniest Movies."

Contents

Plot

In 1965, United States Air Force Airman Adrian Cronauer (Robin Williams) arrives in Saigon from Crete to work as a DJ for the Armed Forces Radio Service. His first contact is with Private First Class Edward Garlick (Forest Whitaker), whom he unsuccessfully tries to persuade to help chase down a couple of pretty local girls before taking him to the radio station.

Cronauer’s irreverence contrasts sharply with the rest of the staff and soon rouses the ire of two of his superiors, Lieutenant Steven Hauk (Bruno Kirby) and Sergeant Major Dickerson (J. T. Walsh). Hauk adheres to strict Army guidelines in terms of humor and music programming, while Dickerson is annoyed by Cronauer’s behavior in general. However, General Taylor (Noble Willingham) and the other DJs quickly grow to like the new man and his brand of comedy – which begins as soon as he first goes on the air with a yell of "Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-d morning, Vietnam!"

Cronauer’s show consists of unpredictable humor segments mixed with news updates (vetted by the station censors, which at one point causes Cronauer to dryly comment 'Ooh, censor, censor, censor—join the army and mark things!') and rock and roll records that are frowned upon by his superiors. Hauk finds nothing funny about any of it and tries, without success, to get him to change his approach.

After Cronauer goes off the air, he spots Trinh (Chintara Sukapatana), one of the Vietnamese girls he tried to chase down earlier, and follows her to an English class. Bribing the teacher to let him take over the job, he starts instructing the students in the use of American slang. Once class is dismissed, he tries to talk to Trinh but is stopped by her brother Tuan, who tells him to leave her alone. Instead, Cronauer befriends Tuan and takes him to the local G.I. bar to have drinks with Garlick and the station staff. Two other soldiers, angered at Tuan’s presence, start a fight with the group that rapidly escalates into a full-scale brawl.

Dickerson reprimands Cronauer for this incident, but the broadcasts and unorthodox English classes go on as usual. Impressed with the DJ’s behavior, Tuan sets him up on a date with Trinh, with the rest of the family chaperoning them. While relaxing in the bar one afternoon, he is pulled outside by Tuan moments before the building explodes, killing two soldiers and leaving Cronauer badly shaken. The cause of the explosion is determined to be a bomb planted inside; the news is censored, but he locks himself in the studio and reports it anyway. Dickerson cuts off the broadcast signal in mid-report and Cronauer is suspended. Hauk takes over his time slots, but his poor attempts at comedy and insistence on playing polka music, instead of rock and roll, lead to a flood of letters and phone calls from servicemen who demand Cronauer be put back on the air.

In the meantime, Cronauer spends most of his time drinking and trying to pursue a relationship with Trinh, only to be rebuffed at every attempt. Taylor intervenes on his behalf, ordering Hauk to reinstate him, but Cronauer refuses to go back to work when Garlick brings him the news. He now fears that Dickerson will send him to the front lines if he does anything else wrong. Garlick drives him up to a convoy of soldiers stuck in a traffic jam and persuades him to do an impromptu “broadcast” for them. The performance reawakens his love of radio, and he is soon back on the air.

Dickerson devises a ploy to get rid of Cronauer by sending him and Garlick to interview soldiers in the field – knowing that the only road into this particular area is controlled by the Viet Cong. As the two men drive the road, their jeep is blown off it and they are forced to hide from the VC patrols. Back in Saigon, Tuan learns of their trip after Cronauer fails to show up for English class, then steals a van and drives off after them. He finds them, but the van breaks down and they must flag down an Army helicopter to take them back to the city.

At the station, Dickerson confronts Cronauer with evidence that “Tuan” (not his real name) is a VC member and the one who planted the bomb that blew up the G.I. bar. He will be killed if the Army catches up to him. Cronauer's being used by a known enemy is enough to get him (honorably)discharged and off the air for good. Once he leaves the office, though, Taylor informs Dickerson that he is being transferred to Guam as punishment for his vindictiveness.

Cronauer finds Trinh and persuades her to take him to her brother. Calling out his real name, he chases him into a back lot, where the boy angrily accuses Cronauer and the American forces of being the real enemy in this war and killing most of his family. He then slips away, leaving Cronauer to shout his frustrations across the lot.

The next day, on his way to the airport, he sets up a quick softball game with the students from his English class. Trinh thanks him for warning her about the danger her brother was in. As he boards the plane, he gives Garlick a taped farewell message; Garlick – taking Cronauer's place as DJ – plays the tape on the air the next morning. It begins with a yell of "Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-dbye, Vietnam!" and runs through a few of Cronauer's impressions before ending with his wish that everyone will get home safely.

Cast

Production

In 1979, Adrian Cronauer decided to pitch a sitcom based on his experiences as an AFRS DJ. TV networks were not interested because they did not see war as comedy material, despite the fact that one of the most popular shows at the time was M*A*S*H. Cronauer then revamped his sitcom into a script for a movie of the week, which eventually got the attention of Robin Williams. Very little of Cronauer's original treatment remained after writer Mitch Markowitz was brought in.[2] The film was shot in Bangkok, Thailand.

Anachronisms

The film is guilty of a number of anachronisms; several of the records Cronauer plays were unknown at the time of the movie's setting (1965), including What a Wonderful World and All Along the Watchtower (both released in 1968). Some of the broadcast equipment shown was manufactured in the 1970s, for example, the stereo domestic hi-fi model tape recorder used to play back Cronauer's comedic, edited interview with Richard Nixon.

Awards and honors

American Film Institute recognition

Robin Williams was nominated for an Academy Award, and was awarded a Golden Globe.

Soundtrack

Song Artist
"Around the World in 80 Days" Lawrence Welk
"Baby Please Don't Go" Them*
"Ballad of a Thin Man" The Grass Roots
"Beach Blanket Bingo" Frankie Avalon
"California Sun" The Rivieras*
"Cast Your Fate To The Wind" Sounds Orchestral
"Danger! Heartbreak Dead Ahead" The Marvelettes*
"Don't Worry Baby" The Beach Boys
"Dream On Little Dreamer" Perry Como
"Five O'Clock World" The Vogues*
"Game of Love" Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders*
"There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" Lawrence Welk & Myron Floren
"I Get Around" The Beach Boys*
"I Got You (I Feel Good)" James Brown*
"I'll Never Smile Again" Lawrence Welk
"In the Midnight Hour" Wilson Pickett
"It's Alright" Adam Faith
"Kit Kat Polka" Lawrence Welk & Myron Floren
"Liar Liar" The Castaways*
"Acapulco" Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
"Lollipops and Roses" Jack Jones
"Nowhere to Run" Martha Reeves & The Vandellas*
"Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" Ray Conniff
"Sugar and Spice" The Searchers*
"The Warmth Of The Sun" The Beach Boys*
"What a Wonderful World" Louis Armstrong*
"Yeh Yeh" Georgie Fame & The Blue Flames
"My Boyfriend's Back" The Angels
"Puff, the Magic Dragon" Peter Yarrow & Leonard Lipton
"Rawhide" Dimitri Tiomkin & Ned Washington
"You Keep Me Hangin' On" The Supremes
"Like Tweet" Joe Puma & Eddie Hall
"Get a Job" The Silhouettes

The soundtrack album included only the songs indicated with an asterisk above. It was certified platinum in the US.[3] The Louis Armstrong song was released as a single and became a top 40 hit twenty years after its original release.

Chart positions

Year Chart Position
1988 Australian Kent Music Report Albums Chart 1
1988 The Billboard 200 Albums Chart 10

Possible sequel

Early in 2007, Robin Williams was seen "mulling over" a script that was written for a sequel to the movie. Williams said that he has been "reading over the script and that it's really good so far."[4] No other information is known yet.

References

  1. ^ DVD extras
  2. ^ Adrian Cronauer interview by Paul Harris, The Paul Harris Show, KMOX, April 28, 2006
  3. ^ Joel Whitburn, Top Pop Albums 1955-2001 (Menomonee Falls, WI: Record Research, 2001), 1016.
  4. ^ Paul Heath (January 24, 2007). "Robin Williams mulling over Good Morning Vietnam sequel". The Hollywood News. http://www.thehollywoodnews.com/article_2007_01_24_5043.html.  

External links

Preceded by
Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby
by Terence Trent D'Arby
Australian Kent Music Report number-one album
June 6 - June 19, 1988
Succeeded by
Wow! by Bananarama

Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Good Morning, Vietnam is a 1987 film about a rock DJ assigned to the US Armed Services Radio station in Vietnam.

Writen by Mitch Markowitz and Directed by Barry Levinson

The wrong man. In the wrong place. At the right time.

Contents

Adrian Cronauer

  • GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!!!
  • Mantovani? They play Mantovani to insomniacs who don't respond to strong drugs!
  • Mayday! Mayday! Dragon lady with incredible figure at 11 o'clock. Stop the car.
  • Oh, Edward, Edward, you don't understand. I've been on a small Greek island with a lotta women who look like Zorba. I never thought I'd find women attractive ever again, and now that I do you won't even turn the car around? [scoffs] Thanks a lot.
  • Ed, are you always this happy?
  • [Garlick wakes him up] My God, it's Mardi Gras, and I'm on the main float.
  • Goooooooood morning, Vietnam! Hey, this is not a test! This is rock-'n'-roll! Time to rock it from the Delta to the DMZ! Is that me, or does that sound like an Elvis Presley movie?
  • Hey, is it a little too early for being that loud? Hey, too late! It's 0600. What's the O stand for? "Oh my God, it's early!" Speaking of early, how about that Cro-Magnon Marty Drywitz. Thank you Marty for that "Silky-smooth sound." Makes me sound like Peggy Lee…
  • What is this "demilitarized zone?" What do they mean, "police action?" Sounds like a couple of cops in Brooklyn going, "Uh, she looks pretty to me."
  • Here’s a little riddle for you. What's the difference between the army and the Cub Scouts? [Imitates buzzer] Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!
  • Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? 'Cause if it leaks to the VC he could end up MIA, and then we'd all be put on KP
  • How am I gonna get to first base with this girl?
  • The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is that a large woman standing near the river going [in Butch voice] "Don't go near there!" [in Girly voice] "But Betty-" [in Butch voice] "Don't go near there! Get away from the river! Stay away from there." I know, we can't use the word "dyke." You can't even say "lesbian", it's "women in comfortable shoes." Thank you very much.
  • [as Walter Cronkite] I just want to begin by saying to Roosevelt E. Roosevelt, what it is, what it shall be, what it was. The weather out there today is hot and shitty with continued hot and shitty in the afternoon. Tomorrow a chance of continued crappy with a pissy weather front coming down from the north. Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon roundup.
  • [to Trinh] You know, you're very beautiful. You're also very quiet. And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated. Normally I go out with girls who talk so much you could hook them up to a wind turbine and they could power a small New Hampshire town.
  • Sometimes you got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
  • Hey, we're back. That last few seconds of silence was Marcel Marceau's newest hit single, "Walkin' In The Wind." And now, here are the headlines. Here they come at you right now. Pope actually found to be Jewish. Liberace is Anastasia, and Ethel Merman jams Russian radar. The East Germans, today, claimed that the Berlin Wall was a fraternity prank. Also the Pope decided today to release Vatican-related bath products. An incredible thing, yes, it's the new Pope-on-a-Rope. That's right. Pope-on-a-Rope. Wash with it, go straight to heaven. Thank you.
  • Here's a news flash: Today President Lyndon Johnson passed a highway beautification bill. The bill basically said that his daughters could not drive in a convertible on public highways.
  • [To Jimmy Wah] James! Nice, shiny green suit. You look like an Oriental leprechaun.
  • You're a very attractive man, Abersold. Don't think I haven't noticed.
  • I don't know. I may go downtown, look for a Vietnamese man named Phil. Or I may just stay here and listen to old Pat Boone records, try and find some hidden meaning-- 'cause basically I believe that that man is a misunderstood genius.
  • I'm saying I'm through, Ed. I'm tired of people tellin' me what I can't say. "This news isn't official." "That comment is too sarcastic." I can't even make fun of Richard Nixon, and there's a man who is screaming out to be made fun of. So, fuck it.
  • [As camp fashion consultant] Thank you. I think this fall, the discerning GI is gonna be wearing green in the jungle. Why? Because it matches with the green! The leaves, they fall upon the helmets, says yes to me.
  • [To Srg. Major Dickerson] You know, you're in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.
  • Know about the bombing, Sparky. No wonder you hauled ass. You were my friend. I trusted you. You hear me?
  • It's unbelievable. Five months in Saigon and my best friend turns out to be a VC. THIS WILL NOT LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME!

Edward Garlick

  • That's Marty Lee Drywitz. He's impeccably clean. This man has cleaning products shipped in from Wisconsin. He's also one of your roommates, so if I were you, I'd think about suicide.
  • My whole life passed before my eyes, and it wasn't even interesting to me.
  • It zoomed right by, just the way they say it does. Stamp collections, pulling chickweeds from my dad's dichondra plants, arranging rakes by sizes for my mom in the garage. Even encapsulated in two seconds, my life is dull. I find that very alarming.
  • [To Lt Hauk] Sir? I'm begging you. Don't try to do comedy. It's not in your blood.
  • I live to collate, sir.

Lieutenant Hauk

  • You know, it wouldn’t kill you people to salute me once in a while.
  • I understand you're pretty funny as a DJ, and, well comedy is a kind of hobby of mine. Well, actually, it’s a little more than just a hobby. Reader's Digest is considering publishing two of my jokes.
  • [Listening to Nowhere to Run on the radio] That is not what we program here!
  • [To Adrian] You are not funny. But you are a maniac, and you'd better start changing your life.
  • [About Adrian] Sir, the man is a walking keg of dynamite.
  • And as far as polkas, they are a much maligned musical taste.
  • Sir, in my heart, I know I'm funny.
  • I think some apologies are in order.

Sgt. Major Dickerson

  • No sir, frankly I do *not* understand.
  • Sir, there is no such thing as "only" anymore. Not now. Not in Saigon.
  • That is humor. I recognize that. I also recognize your species of soldier. I had a guy like you in the field one time- he blew himself to pieces, but not before his humor cost the lives of three very fine individuals.[Cronauer starts to speak]You shut your fucking hole! You're in Southeast Asia now, pal, you got your cushy little assignment. There's nothing I can do about that. In time, you will make me forget it. You stay out of my way there'll be no problem. But if you toy with me, I'll burn you so bad you'll wish you died as a child.
  • So you start a fight, turn the place upside down. Real intelligent solution.
  • Do you have any idea how ridiculous it makes me look when a man under my command starts a fucking bar brawl?
  • I am the authorities, you moron!
  • [When asked why he is so hostile by Cronauer] I don't like your style, your politics or your sense of humor. I don't like what you say or how you say it. From now on the fighting men of Vietnam will hear exactly what they're supposed to hear.

General Taylor

  • Why, son, the shadow of your ass'd weigh 20 pounds.
  • Military intelligence? Now there's a contradiction in terms.
  • It doesn't make a damn bit of difference whether you play polkas or don't play polkas. Military politics. Nothing personal. The men just like him better than they do you.
  • Now this thing is a delicate balance over here, and I don't want it dependent on a disc jockey.
  • Lieutenant, you don't know whether you're shot, fucked, powder-burned, or snakebit. I don't care about polkas. They're rioting in Hue. We're bringing in thousands of troops every month. Terrorism's on the uprise in Saigon. The problems of this country have not one goddamn thing to do with whether you play polkas or don't play polkas! The men want him back! I want him back! Reinstate the man!
  • Dick, I've covered for you a lot of times 'cause I thought you was a little crazy. But you're not crazy- you're mean. And this is just radio.
  • More dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history- that's funny.

Others

  • Dreiwitz: What is the appeal of Joey Bishop? I mean, the man's not funny. I know funny, and he's not funny. Don't get me wrong- he seems like a nice guy- but my father's a nice guy and he's not funny either. Joey Bishop. I wish someone would explain this one to me.
  • Jimmy Wah: [About Hong Kong] Home of the shiiiny green suit.
  • Trinh: I-- I not can do this, Cronow. No. No friend, Cronow. Not good for-- for me. My brother, OK, friends. But Vietnam ladies not friends. Please, OK? Not friends.

Dialogue

Garlick: I'm Private First Class Edward Montesque Garlick, at your service, sir.
Adrian: Well, first thing, Garlick, is you gotta requisition a new name.

Garlick: You're not supposed to address the general saying "hiya."
Adrian: What's that, a new rule?
Garlick: No, old rule.

Hauk: That's a joke, right?
Adrian: Maybe.
Hauk: I get it.

Dickerson: This is not military issue, Airman. What sort of uniform is that?
Adrian: Cretan camouflage. If you want to blend into a crowd of drunken Greeks there's nothing better.
Dickerson: That is humor. I recognize that. I also recognize your species of soldier. I had a guy like you in the field one time. He blew himself to pieces. But not before his humor cost the lives of three very fine individuals.

Adrian: What's the demilitarized zone? It sounds like something out of the Wizard of Oz
Adrian as Glinda: Oh no don't go in there!
Adrian as Soldier: Ohhh wee ohh. Ho Chi Minh.
Adrian as Glinda: Oh look you've landed in Saigon. You're among the little people now.
Adrian as Munchkin: We represent the ARVN army, the ARVN army. Oh no! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail! Follow the Ho Chi Minh trail!
Adrain as Witch: Oh! I'll get you my pretty!
Adrian: Oh my God! It's the wicked Witch of the North! It's Hanoi Hannah!
Adrain as Witch: Now, little GI, you and your little Toto too!

Adrian: We've got our traffic report up there on the Ho Chi Minh Trail. How's it going up there?
Adrian as Reporter: Well, Adrian, it's not going exactly well. There's a water buffalo jackknifed up there. It's not a very pretty picture, there's horns everywhere. I dunno what to say, we're gonna maybe drop in a little napalm there, try to cook him down, have a little barbecue.

Adrian as Camp Fashion Consultant: I want to tell you something. You know, this whole camouflage thing, for me, doesn't work very well.
Adrian: Why is that?
Adrian as Camp Fashion Consultant: Because you go in the jungle, I can't see you. You know, it's like wearing stripes and plaid. For me, I want to do something different. You know, you go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash. You know what I mean?

Hauk: First of all, don't make fun of the weather here, and don't say the weather is the same all the time here, because it's not. In fact, it's two degrees colder today than yesterday.
Adrian: Two degrees colder? [gasps] Me without my muff.

Hauk: Okay, who do we have slated for live entertainment in November?
Phil: Well, we originally wanted Bob Hope, but it turns out he won't come.
Hauk: Why not?
Garlick: He doesn't play police actions, just wars. Bob likes a big room, sir.
[The group laughs]
Hauk: That is not funny!
Abersold: How about if it escalated?
Hauk: How about if what escalated?
Abersold: The Vietnam conflict
Hauk: The Vietnam conflict. We are not going to escalate a whole war just so we can book a big name comedian!

Hauk: I would like to leave the room now.
Abersold: Oh! Uh, yes, sir.

Dickerson: [Pointing to his rank insignia] What does three up and three down mean to you, Airman?
Adrian: End of an inning?

Adrian: Once again we've got our friend from military intelligence. Can you tell us what you've found out about the enemy since you've been here?
Adrian as Gomer: We found out that we can't find them. They're out there, and we're having a major difficulty in finding the enemy.
Adrian: Well, what do you use to look for them?
Adrian as Gomer: Well, we ask people, 'Are you the enemy? And whoever says yes, we shoot them. [Pause] It's very difficult to find a Vietnamese man named Charlie. They're all named Nyugen or Doh or things like that. It's very difficult for me.

Adrian: Is it true that you're actually-- that you're actually too close to some of the nerve agents they were testing?
Adrian as Gomer: Nerve… uh, gas?
Adrian: Yes, have you used any?
Adrian as Gomer: Well, once, yes, on myself. And it had no-- WOAH! WOAH! No effect on me. I've had no actual-- WOAH! SHE-HOO! WOAH! WOAH! Big dogs! Big dogs landing on my face!
Adrian: I don't know what that means.

Hauk: Where you do imagine you're going?
Adrian: Just gonna get a little something to eat.
Hauk: You don't have time. You'll stay here and drink instant beverages or something. We promised our listening audience Nixon highlights by 4 PM.
Adrian: I've been on the air for four hours. I'm a little hungry.
Hauk: That's a joke, right? I get it.
Adrian: Nooo, I'm actually hungry
Hauk: Well I'm actually giving you an order. [Walks out.]
Adrian: Oh it's an order. In that case gentlemen. Let's edit.

Nixon: Therefore, there is no place for neutrality or a neutralist sentiment in South Vietnam. As I leave Vietnam today there is no doubt, certainly, in my mind that the Viet Cong will be defeated and this war will be won. Asia does involve, I think, very appropriately as you have suggested, give and take.
Adrian: Well I-- I really didn't make that suggestion, sir, I'm sorry.
Nixon: The United States has no right to give--
Hauk: Why would Cronauer's voice be on this tape?
Abersold: I don't know, Lieutenant.
Nixon: --territory to the communists.
Adrian: Mr. Nixon, thank you for that concise political commentary, but I think I'd like to delve into something slightly more personal for the men in the field. How would you describe your testicles?
[Hauk turns to the radio in horror]
Nixon: That they're soft, and that they're shallow and they have no purpose.
Hauk: Oh, my God.
Adrian: What are you saying, sir?
Hauk: Oh, my God.
Nixon: That they lack the physical strength.
Adrian: How would you describe your sex life with your wife Pat?
Nixon: It is unexciting sometimes.
Adrian: Well, have you considered, possibly, a sex change. There is an operation that can transform you
Hauk: Please don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me.
Adrian: --into a female Great Dane or possibly a very well hung Chihuahua. Mr. Nixon, while you've been in Vietnam, its rumored that you've smoked marijuana. Are you planning to take some of the marijuana home back to the United States? How would you do that?
Nixon: By plane. By helicopter and also by automobile.
Adrian: Can you please do your impersonation of Mister Ed for us?
Hauk: (running into the control room) Cut this thing off! I said cut it off! (Bangs on the tape machine and stops the tape) Where's Cronauer?
Marty: Still eating sir.
Hauk: I want to see him ASAP.
Marty: What's that?
Hauk: As soon as possible!
Marty: VG sir.

Hauk: Sir, the man has got an irreverent tendency. He did a very off-color parody of former VP Nixon.
General: I thought it was hilarious.
Hauk: Respectfully, sir, the former VP is a good man and a decent man.
General: Bullshit! I know Nixon personally. He lugs a trainload of shit behind him that would fertilize the Sinai. Why, I wouldn't buy an apple from the son of a bitch and I consider him a good, close, personal friend.

Tuan: Yes. Come. We go.
Adrian: You sound like you leaned English from Tonto. "Come. We go." OK.

[Adrian sees the story about the bombing that he witnessed and he starts taking it to the control room, going past the two censors]
Censor #1: What do you think you're doing? You know you're forbidden to read anything not checked by this office.
Adrian: What's there to check? I was there.
Censor #1: Airman, you know the rules. If this is a legitimate news story, it must go through proper channels.
Adrian: Listen, Tweedledee, it's an actual event. [referring to the blood on his shirt] What do you think this came from? Shaving? It's the truth. I just want to report the truth. It'll be a nice change of pace.
Dickerson: What's going on here?
Adrian: Sir, will you listen to me?
Dickerson: [reads the story] This is not official news, airman. As far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen.
Adrian: It did happen.
Dickerson: You shut your mouth!
Adrian: What are you afraid of Dickerson? People might find out there's a war going on?
Dickerson: This news is not official.
Adrian: You want everyone going under the assumption it's perfectly safe here, don'tcha? Well, it's not. The fighting's not just in the hills, it's downtown. It's a couple of fucking BLOCKS!
Dickerson: I SAID IT IS NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
Adrian: I see your point. I'm sorry. I guess I get inside, hit these air conditioners, I get a little dizzy. Thanks for setting me straight.

General: I think I see a pattern forming here.
Dreiwitz: Sir, these letters are unequivocal! Uh, e.g., [reads a letter] "Hey, Hauk. Eat a bag of shit. You suck." That's pretty much to the point, sir, not much gray area in this one.
Garlick: We got one positive call from some guy in Wichita, who thought that Hauk's comedy was "visionary and interesting." The other eleven hundred calls say that the man can't do comedy to save his dick! [pause] That's a direct quote, sir.
Phil: I've taken ninety calls this morning-- they just don't like Hauk.
Garlick: From a Marine in Danang: "Captain Hauk sucks the sweat off a dead man's balls." I have no idea what that means, sir, but it seems very negative to me.
General: I think the troops are trying to tell us something, fellas.

Phil: Is he all right?
Garlick: No, Phil, he's not all right. A man does not refer to Pat Boone as a beautiful genius if things are all right.

Garlick: Gentlemen! Hey guys, guess who the hell I got in here.
Man 1: Groucho Marx!
Man 2: Senator Dirksen.
Man 3: Curly!
Garlick: Come on. Come on, come on, come on! Guess again.
Adrian: Oh bag it, bag it, Garlick.
Garlick: The fellow I got in here is the gentleman, the one and the only
Adrian: Oh, you're a dead man.
Garlick: The king of the airwaves, Adrian Cronauer.

Adrian: Listen, I gave you my friendship, and my trust. And now they tell me that my best friend is the enemy.
Tuan: Enemy? What is an enemy? You killing my own people so many miles from your home. We're not the enemy. You're the enemy.
Adrian: You used me to kill two people. Two people died in that bar.
Tuan: Big deal! My mother's dead. And my older brother, he's dead. Shot by Americans. My neighbor, dead. His wife, dead. Why? Because we're not human to them. We're only little Vietnamese. And I'm stupid enough to save your life at An Lac.

[Once again, Garlick attempts to start the already started car]
Adrian: Staggers the imagination.
Garlick: Makes me unique, doesn't it?
Adrian: What a plus.

Adrian: You could get in trouble for that.
Garlick: I requisitioned for a name change. Trouble is actually my new middle name.

Cast

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