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Hey Arnold!
HeyArnold promotional poster.jpg
The main characters of the show. From left to right: Helga, Arnold and Gerald
Format Animation
Created by Craig Bartlett
Developed by Craig Bartlett
Joe Ansolabehere
Steve Viksten
Starring Toran Caudell
Phillip Van Dyke
Spencer Klein
Jamil W. Smith
Francesca Marie Smith
Justin Shenkarow
Christopher P. Walberg
Christopher Castile
Ben Diskin
Sam Gifaldi
Anndi McAfee
Olivia Hack
Dan Castellaneta
Tress MacNeille
Craig Bartlett
Maurice LaMarche
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 5
No. of episodes 100 (List of episodes)
Production
Running time 23 minutes
Broadcast
Original channel Nickelodeon
Original run October 7, 1996 (1996-10-07) – June 8, 2004 (2004-06-08)

Hey Arnold! is an American animated television series that aired from October 7, 1996 until June 8, 2004 on Nickelodeon.

Contents

Premise

The show stars 4th-grader Arnold, who lives with his grandparents Phil and Gertrude, proprietors of the Sunset Arms boarding house. In each episode, Arnold often helps a schoolmate solve a personal problem, or encounters a predicament of his own.

Setting

Hey Arnold! takes place in the fictional American city of Hillwood. Craig Bartlett stated in an interview that the city on the show is based on large northern cities, including Seattle (his hometown), Portland, Oregon (where he went to art school) and New York City (from which many landmarks were borrowed).[1] Bartlett, having grown up in Seattle, bases many of the show's events on his own experience growing up in the city. The Pig War mentioned in the episode with the same title took place on the boundary between what is now the State of Washington and British Columbia.

The overpass above Arnold's house is possibly the Alaskan Way Viaduct in Seattle. In many first-season episodes and later, the Brooklyn Bridge is seen as a prominent landmark in the city. Other episodes show an overview of Arnold's neighborhood, with the New York City skyline in the horizon, complete with the Empire State Building, Central Park and World Trade Center, suggesting that Hillwood could be a neighborhood in Brooklyn or Queens. Also according to a list of public elementary schools in New York City PS 118 is a school in St. Albans, which is a residential community in the New York City borough of Queens. Also, in the episode "Eugene's Bike", Arnold and Eugene visit Quigley Stadium which is in West Haven, Connecticut and was home to the West Haven Yankees from 1972-1979. West Haven is just north of New York. However, the stadium used in the series bears no resemblance to the actual Quigley Stadium.

Production

Hey Arnold! was created by Craig Bartlett and is based on his comics starring Arnold, which he created in 1986. Using the Will Vinton facilities Walkabout Program (a student production lab), Craig Bartlett created his Arnold Escapes From Church short film which later generated two more clay-animated short films, The Arnold Waltz (1990) and Arnold Rides a Chair (1991) which eventually aired on an early-1990s episode of Sesame Street.[citation needed] The familiar, cel-animated Arnold came about in the mid-1990s when Nickelodeon picked up the new series. Apart from the animation style, Nick's Arnold now wears a sweater, with his plaid shirt untucked (resembling a kilt). Only Arnold's cap remains from his original clay-animation wardrobe. "Arnold" comic strips also appeared in Simpsons Illustrated magazine (Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, is Craig Bartlett's brother-in-law.).

Hey Arnold! debuted as an animated short for the Nickelodeon film Harriet the Spy in 1996.

The show also aired on "Nick on CBS" from 2002 up until September 2004.

Characters

Main voice cast

Character Voice actor(s)
Arnold Toran Caudell, Phillip Van Dyke, Spencer Klein, Alex D. Linz
Helga G. Pataki Francesca Smith
Gerald Johanssen Jamil Walker Smith
Grandpa Phil Dan Castellaneta
Grandma Gertie Tress MacNeille

Episodes

Film

In the 2002 theatrically released film, Arnold, Helga and Gerald set out on their quest to save their neighborhood from a greedy developer who plans on converting it into a huge shopping mall. This film featured the voice talents of Jennifer Jason Leigh, Paul Sorvino, and Christopher Lloyd.

DVD and digital releases

Amazon.com released the first two seasons on DVD through its CreateSpace program in August 2008.[2][3] The remaining seasons were released in later months. The DVDs are sold as "burn on demand" items.[3]Some episodes have also been released on iTunes.[4]

Nick DVD name Release date Discs Episodes
Season 1 (1996-97) August 21, 2008 4 20
Season 2 (1997-98) August 21, 2008 4 19
Season 3 (1998-99) December 7, 2009 6 27
Season 4 (1999-2000) November 27, 2009 4 19
Season 5 (2001-04) December 4, 2009 4 15

References

External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about:

Hey Arnold! is an American animated television series that aired from October 7, 1996 until June 8, 2004 on Nickelodeon. It later spanned a movie.

Contents

24 Hours to Live

[Harold got hit by a baseball]
Helga: Say something!
Harold: Goodnight, Mommy.

Harold: [To Arnold] Who taught you how to play baseball, YOUR LOONY GRANDMA?

Arnold: Hey, Grandpa, I've got a problem.
Grandpa: Shoot it at me, short man.
Arnold: Well, see, there's this big jerk at school, he says he's gonna...
Grandpa: — says he's gonna beat you up, eh?
Arnold: Well, yeah.
Grandpa: Gonna give you 24 hours to dangle, eh?
Arnold: That's right!
Grandpa: Big guy, huh? Slow, but with lots of power. Squash you like a bug, eh?
Arnold: Yeah, yeah! What should I do?
Grandpa: I have no idea.
Arnold: I've got to think of something, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Well, you could skip town. But then you'd have to live the rest of your life in fear, always looking over your shoulder, waiting for... that day. You try reasoning with him? Oh, a moron, eh? Well Arnold, I wish I knew what to tell you. In eighty years I think I've only learned one thing for sure.
Arnold: What's that?
Grandpa: Never eat raspberries. [Holds his stomach] Gotta go! [Grandpa runs to the bathroom]

Helga: Twenty-four hours, fifteen minutes and thirteen seconds until you die!

DJ Nocturnal Ned: It's 7:00 on KILL. This one goes out to Arnold, who's going to die in 2 hours, 6 minutes, and 47 seconds, from Helga who hates you.

Harold Berman: Wow, you really are crazy. Wanna join our club?

Helga: Boys are so stupid.

6th Grade Girls

Tommy: [in an Italian New York accent] Hey, Maria, come over here!
Maria: Tommy, you come over here.

A Day in the Life of a Classroom

Rhonda: Should we do our own make up, or will the crew do it?
Mr. Simmons: Make your own.
Helga: I'd rather watch paint dry.

Abner Come Home

Arnold: [to Abner at night] Y’know boy, you’re more fun than a hundred dogs put together.

Arnold: [on Abner] Must be getting a drink out of the toilet again.

Grandma: [the morning after Abner goes missing] Anyone for bacon?

Arnold: [describing Abner to the dog catcher] And his tail is so curly when you pull it out it goes 'spoing'!

Gerald: [on the missing pig] Well, did you try going down to the dump and yelling 'sooey'?

Pig Skins R Us crew: [yelling at Abner] Come back here you football.

Grandpa: Brilliant does pretty much describe me. He falls off chair.

Gerald: [on Arnold's brilliant idea] Well, it's not working, and it's making me sick.

Ernie: [overwhelmed at the end] It does kinda bring a tear to your eye.
Grandpa: That's just the onions.

April Fool's Day

Helga: Thanks, Arnold. I really appreciate all that you've done for me. You know, except the part where you made me go blind.

[Arnold is carrying "blind" Helga across the street and a taxi cab is speeding towards them]
Helga: Arnold, look out for that cab!
[Arnold jumps and they land on the sidewalk]
Helga: Arnold, are we alive?
Arnold: We're fine.
Helga: Whew. Good thing I saw — uh, I mean — smelled that cab coming.
Arnold: You smelled the cab?
Helga: Yeah, you know how it is when you lose one of your senses. The others just kind of kick into overdrive. [sniffs Arnold] Speaking of which, you might want to try a stronger deodorant, football-head.

Grandma: Oh, Happy Groundhog's Day, everybody. Yippee! I saw my shadow — and you know what that means!
Grandpa: We know, Pookie... [With Arnold] Twelve more days of Christmas...

Stinky: Um, fellas. Is it just me, or is the floor moving?

Helga: [thinks when she dances with Arnold] I'm actually dancing cheek-to-cheek with Arnold! He's holding me tight, his hair smells yummy... Oh, who am I kiddin? I love this guy! Maybe I should stop torturing him? Nah, this is way too much fun!

Arnold: [thinking when he dances with Helga] Oh, man, I really hate this!
Helga: [thinking] Oh, man, do I love this or what!

Arnold: Gerald, I think, you're thinking what I'm thinking.
[Gerald whispers something in Arnold's ear]
Arnold: That's even better than what I was thinking!

Arnold as Cupid

Oskar: But Suzie, where am I going to sleep?
[Suzie throws sleeping bag and teddy bear at Oskar]

Oskar: Arnold, I can't believe how handsome you're getting, the way your body's growing to match the unusual shape of your head.
Oskar Kokoshka: [about to bet Arnold's CD player during a poker game] Don't worry, Arnold, there's no way I can lose. [next frame] I can't believe I lost.

Oskar Kokoshka: You keep the money.
Suzie Kokoshka: What did you say?
Oskar Kokoshka: You keep the money.
Suzie Kokoshka: Oh, Oskar! That's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me.
Oskar Kokoshka: "You keep the money"?

Arnold Saves Sid

Grandpa Phil: You already had three helpings. Hits Oskar's hand
Oskar: Oww, you hurt my hand. I'm going to sue you!

Arnold Visits Arnie

Rhonda: It means weird, and that's a major understatement. I mean, the boy's wearing pajamas for heaven's sake.
Harold: And look, there have little bears on them!
'Sid: Boy howdy, talk about embarrassing!
[Arnold blushes]

Arnold's Christmas

Helga: These snow boots are boss!

Gerald: [to Arnold] What you did, that's the real meaning of Christmas, man.

Helga: Merry Christmas, Arnold.

Arnold's Halloween

Curly: I wanted to go as pirates.
Harold: No, Vikings.
Phoebe: How about clowns?
Helga: We're all going as aliens because the whole purpose of Halloween is to scare people and make them give you candy.

Gerald: Aliens are coming to destroy the Earth!

Grandpa: [explaining about the kids in alien costumes] The news is all over town. The city is in panic.
Gerald: Uh oh.
Arnold: The news station must have picked up our broadcast. Grandpa, what happened to the kids after you saw them?
[the kids are being chased by an angry mob]

Helga: Arn-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld!!!!!
Arnold: [Halfway across town] Did you hear something just now?

Arnold's Hat

Helga: I need that cute, stupid, football head's hat! Oh....Did I just say that out loud?

Miriam: Helga? The door's locked, honey, what are you doing in there?
Helga: Nothing.
Miriam: Oh... okay.

Helga: All I wanted was the hat... and world domination, but for right now, just the hat. Is that too much to ask?

Gerald: Arnold! Hey Arnold! The Jolly Olly man's gone insane! He's passing out free ice-cream! Come on down!
Arnold: No! I'm not coming down without my hat! Ever! For the rest of my life!
Gerald: Okay. More ice-cream for me.

Helga: Out of my way, Fat Boy!

Helga: Did you happen to see a collection of seemingly useless junk randomly arranged behind a curtain in my closet for no apparent reason?
Miriam: Ah huh, dear. I threw it all out.
Helga: WHAT!?

Marty: Woo! Arnold! Man! Did anybody ever tell you you look like some kind of bronzed Greek god these days?

Helga: Ewwwww who said you could touch Me!

Helga Are you trying to make me sick or something?

Helga: I will never wash these clothes again. [Splattt!] Ewww!

Baby Oskar

Oskar Suzie, make me a sandwich!
Suzie: TOMMORROW, TOMMORROW, TOMMORROW! EVERYDAY I ASK YOU TO HELP ME TAKE CARE OF LITTLE OSKAR, BUT INSTEAD YOU ASK ME TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH!
Oskar: Right, which of course you never did.

Back to School

Principal Wartz
[to a tough Grandpa Phil]
Report to detention after the final bell.
Phil
Report THIS, Wartz! pulls the fire alarm and walks off
Principal Wartz
[resets the alarm]
That's it! I'm calling his parents!

Grandpa Phil
I'm gonna run for President. Pookie, you can be my campaign manager. What's our slogan?
Pookie
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Grandpa Phil
Pookie, you're fired. Arnold! You can be my campaign manager.
Arnold
[Sighs]
Grandpa...

Grandpa Phil
I want that diploma!
Arnold
Then let's go get it.
Grandpa Phil
Right after my nap!

Bag of Money

Grandpa Phil
[trying to cheer Arnold up]
We'll grow old together... Oh, wait a minute, I'm already old! Well, okay, so you'll grow old alone with no one to talk to and nothing to come to, except your fun memories and...
[Arnold gets sad]
...me and... I'm not helping, am I?

Arnold
[Explaining what happened to the money]
There was this old lady on the bus, and she had pink hair, and a peg leg... and one eyebrow. And she had a bunch of shopping bags, and she must have taken my bag by mistake.
[Nobody believes him; later]
Sid
Who is that?
Stinky
Looks like an old lady with pink hair, a peg leg, and one eyebrow.

Beaned

Helga
What is this clear wall blocking us from outside?
Arnold
It's a door. I'll get it for you.

Helga
Whatever is this contraption, Andrew?
Arnold
It's a water fountain. You drink from it.
[Helga pushes the button and water comes out]
Helga
I like to drink.

Benchwarmer

Coach Wittenberg
Pass the ball to Tucker!

Coach Wittenberg
Excellent pass to Tucker, Arnold — You don't even have to dribble, just pass it to Tucker!!

Best Friends

Arnold
I'm telling you, Rhonda, I really don't know anything about fashion.
Rhonda
[reading fashion magazine]
Hmmm. Okay, tell me this: do red and orange go together?
Arnold
Uhhh...
Rhonda
Of course not. You know that, and I know that. But try to tell that to Nadine — she doesn't listen.

Big Bob's Crisis

Big Bob

Criminy, I'm a monster.

Helga
Actually it was just just gas, doc said you'll be fine as soon as u lay off the double rocks and lambs.

Arnold
Are you okay, Helga?
Helga
Oh I'm just peachy. My dad's joining some wacky spiritual group, brain-washed Miriam and Olga and is planning to take us all to Oregon to live in a hut, out in nature to sing songs and eat bark.

Big Caesar

Grandpa Phil
There comes a time in every youngster's life when he's ready to take on Big Caesar! And you boys... well, you're not ready yet, but I'm tired of waitin'.

Gerald
[about the last boat available for a fishing contest]
There is no way we're fishing in a swan boat.
[next frame]
Gerald
I can't believe we're fishing in a swan boat.

Big Gino

Gino
[Seeing Sid come in with Arnold]
I see you brought your lawyer.

Biosquare

Helga

No electricity? No T.V? No Popcorn? No deal! I'm out of here.
Arnold
Hey, if you can't tough if out 24 hours, than maybe you should leave.
Helga
Oh, so you don't think I'm tough enough, is that it, Bio Boy? Well, I'll show you, I can stand be anywhere for 24 hours. Even locked in a controlled environment, with you!

Buses, Bikes, and Subways

after she discover a pay phone was near Helga and Harold

Helga
[to Harold]
So how much money do you got?
[Harold shows Helga two quarters in his hand]
Enough for one call each. Hello, Mom! It's me, Helga! I'm stuck at the chocolate factory with a moron. The school bus left us here and we don't have any way to get back. Oh, please pick up, Miriam.
[Helga hangs up the phone]
Harold
[dials the pay phone]
Hello? Mommy, it's me, Harold.
Worker at Restaurant
I never heard of you! Don't call me again!
Harold
[hangs up phone]
Dialed the wrong number.
Helga
Just brilliant. You don't even know you're own phone number.

Harold
Hey, look. The subway. We're saved!
Helga
Yeah, great idea, genius. Only one little problem — it costs money to take the subway, and we don't have any.
Harold
Then we'll just jump the gate. No one ever gets caught. Come on! gets stuck on the turn-style entrance
Cop
Hey! You two kids! Come back here!
[Helga pushes Harold through, while they both run into the moving subway, eluding the cop]
Harold
[relieved]
Oh! sighs That was close. Oh, I think I'm going to be sick!
Helga
"No one ever gets caught."

Helga
[to Sheena's Uncle Earl]
Hey Mister, wake up!
Sheena's Uncle Earl
What? Who goes there?
Helga
Can you give us a ride into town?
Harold
There some crazy midget clowns that want to kill us!
Sheena's Uncle Earl
Midget clowns eh? Arr!

Helga
[Harold has begun to hug her]
Get off of me, you big whale!

Helga
Everything that happened today was your fault. You can't do anything right! Take the bus for example. Why do you think we missed it, Harold? Oh, let's see, hmm... maybe was it be because you were too busy eating twice your bodyweight in chocolate, num-nums! Oh, how about this one? Let's take the subway, I think it goes to Lincoln. Oh wait, no it doesn't, it goes straight to the bowels of the underworld!! Population homicidal, toothless, midget clowns!! I know, let's steal their bike, they won't mind. Now, you'd think that would be enough to fill any moron's day, but you're not just any moron, are you, Harold? You're the king!! Your day's just getting started. So, because of your amazing curiosity about the world around us, you pulled the plug out of the bottom of our getaway boat!!! You idiot.

Casa Paradiso

Ernie's poem "Knocked Down"

I knocked down my share of buildings and leveled a lot of place
And've seen the miserable looks on the former occupants faces.
If you kick us out, Grandpa, we'll be really angry and sad,
On account that living right here has been the best time most of us has ever had.

Chocolate Boy

Chocolate Boy
I need chocolate, wheres the chocolate, i gotta have chocolate

Arnold
Well, you didn't bet Wolfgang, did you?

Edmund
Whoa! Chocolate Boy doesn't want chocolate? Pinch me, I'm dreaming. Wolfgang pushes Edmund to the ground

Arnold
I can't believe you. I followed you for two weeks straight, all because of a bet.
Chocolate Boy
Yeah Arnold. Two weeks, no chocolate.
Arnold
But, I thought you really wanted to quit.
Chocolate Boy
Sorry Arnold! I gotta go.

Chocolate Turtles

Arnold
Why fight it? It's working.

Coach Wittenberg

Arnold
Maybe you should try using psychology.
Coach Wittenberg
Hmmm. Psycho-ology, eh?

Cool Party

Curly
[About Rhonda not inviting him to her party]
I bet she thinks I'm a geek 'cause my dad cuts my hair with a bowl.

Eugene
[After hearing Phoebe's explanation of a geek]
Bite the head off a chicken? But none of us has done that... well, except for Curly.
Curly
Yeah! And that was just the one time!

[the kids are thinking of ideas for something to do]
Harold
I say we crash Rhonda's party and eat all her food!
Kids
YEAH!!!
Helga
Well, I say we get a truckload of house manure and leave it on her front porch!
Kids
YEAH!!!
Curly
I say we paint ourselves with tiger stripes, and go free all the animals in the zoo!
[Everyone stares at him]
Helga
[sarcastically]
Fine, Curly. We'll meet you there in an hour.
[Curly runs away cackling]
Helga
Poor twisted little freak.

Gerald
Wanna go throw rocks at Helga throwing rocks at a dumpster?
Arnold
Sure.

Harold
Geek party at Arnold's house!

Curly
Ahhhhaaa free all the animals Ahhhhhhaaaa!

Crabby Author

Agatha Caulfield
Holy Crackers!

Crush on Teacher

Gerald
Why are you reading this junk? Teases Oh, right, you have a crush on Miss Felter...
Arnold
I like poetry, it has nothing to do with her.
Gerald
Right. Later, man.
[As Gerald's walking away]
Arnold
Oh soft, what light from yonder window breaks? It is the east...
[Gerald pauses]
Arnold
[In a dreamy voice]
... and... Miss Felter is the sun.
Gerald
[In disgust]
That's it, now I'm pukin'.

Gerald
You set a beautiful table, my fair señorita. purrs
Arnold
Do I have to purr?
Gerald
Yes, chicks dig the purr!

Arnold
[To Miss Felter after Gerald's voice is heard through the walkie talkie that is in Arnold's pants]
Sometimes my pants... they talk.

Arnold
You set a beautiful table, my fair señorita.
Miss Felter
Muchas gracias.
Arnold
Aw, enchilada.

Curly Snaps

Curly
Then later in class, Harold answered the bonus question that I was about to answer. Harold stole the question from me! Another injustice.
Harold
No fair! He let me answer that question!
Mr. Simmons
Curly, you let Harold answer that question.

 

[Behind the lockers]
Arnold
I think Curly's finally snapped.
Gerald
No kidding.
[In the bathroom]
Sid
You guys, Curly's snapped. He's throwing kickballs at Principal Wartz. My kickballs!
[In the halls]
Helga
Hahaha. It's finally happened. Our demented Curly has gone over the edge.
[In the halls]
Peapod Kid
Curly? Snapped? How terrible. Terribly sad.
[In the library]
Campfire Lass
There's a grand brouhaha outside Principal Wartz's office. LET'S GO!

Curly
[throwing a ball at Mr. Simmons]
Save your new ageisms for the saps, Granola Boy!

Curly
Here's Curly!

Principal Wartz
[To Curly]
Okay, what are your demands?
Curly
My demands? I, I want two Yahoo sodas and, and a meatball sub!

Harold
What happened?
Helga
Any bloodshed?

Dangerous Lumber

[Harold gets hit by Arnold's ball]
Gerald
Say something, big boy.
Harold
Easy squeezy, lemon peasy.
Helga
Medic.

Ernie
Ow! That baseball hit me right in the head!

Mickey Kaline
You got dangerous lumber, kid!

Das Subway

Arnold
We could take the crosstown bus.
Helga
You mean THAT one?
[The bus goes right by them without stopping]
Harold
Well, we could walk.
Helga
WALK? It'll take days! We'll freeze to death! We'll be eaten by pigeons, or worse... eaten by RATS! I hate rats!

[about riding the subway]
Gerald
Sun goes down, stay above ground.

Helga
There is no way I'm taking the subway.
[next frame]
I can't believe I'm taking the subway.

Gerald
The train stopped
Helga
No kidding, Einstein

Grandma
[on the stuck subway car]
I'm the only ex-cop in this town brave enough to take on this job.

Hobo
[Repeated line]
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Claustrophobic woman
[repeating over and over]
Wide open spaces.

Conductor through PA system

calmly Passengers, it may just be a matter of minutes or hours panicking OR DAYS OR WEEKS calmly before the search and rescue team finds our panicking FORGOTTEN EXTRACTED SUBWAY CAR...

Grubby man
Wait a minute! Wait a minute, everybody!
Helga
We know. We know.
Everyone
Get out of your house.
Grubby man
No, no, not that. I got something else to say…

Dinner for Four

Phoebe

Well, I suppose the only solution would be to tell the manager the truth.
[pause]
Helga
That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life!

Helga
[after weasling out of paying a dinner bill]
There is no way I'm gonna go back in there, tell them the truth, and wind up washing dishes.
[next frame]
Helga
I can't believe I told them the truth, and I wound up washing dishes.

Dino Checks Out

Candy
Dino and I had two really great years together, and then we got married.

Lawyer
[going over Dino Spamoni's will]
"My house and money will all go to my most recent ex-wife Candy."
Candy
YESSSSS!

Charlie or it was Jimmy?

Can we go home now?
Candy
IN A MINUTE!
Executor
[Reading Dino Spumoni's Will]
"And I leave my extensive collection of paintings to be equally divided among my five ex-wives-except Bunny, who gets jack-squat."
Bunny
Aw, nuts! Take me home, Chooch!

Ernie
Hey, Oskar, he's not dead! I want my two bucks back!

Door Number 16

Gerald
So I hear you got a package for that secret guy, Mr. Smith.
Arnold
Yeah, and I alone have been shouldered with the weighty responsibility of it's safety.
Gerald
Cool, let's open it.

Downtown as Fruits

Helga
Know your lines? Of course you already know your lines. But I don't want to just hear your lines... I want to feel whats in your souls.
Peapod Kid
Do vegetables have souls?

Helga
Hey, where are the fruits?
Phoebe
They're not here, Helga. They never showed up.
Helga
Arn-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ld!
Arnold
[across town on a bus]
Did you hear something just now?

Arnold
Wow, people downtown sure are friendly.

Egg Story

[as Harold and Rhonda are assigned to partner up taking care of an "egg baby"]
Harold
Oh, come on, Rhonda, I know you like me!
Rhonda
[nervously]
What makes you think that?
Harold
Remember that time at the Cheese Festival...
Rhonda
[claps a hand over Harold's mouth]
I thought I told you never to mention that night again.

[after when Harold showed Rhonda their egg that has tape all over it]
Rhonda
What did you do, Harold!?
Harold
Nothing.
Rhonda
Harold, this is not our egg. This — I don't even know what this is. What did you do with Courtney?
Harold
Uh, I, Uh... Oh! I was hungry!
Rhonda
You...ate...our...baby?
[Harold belches]

Eugene's Bike

Young Helga

[In flashback]
Hey, Arnold! Shake hands with Mr. Crab!

Eugene, Eugene!

Stinky

What the heck is "Eugene Eugene," Eugene?

Mr. Leichliter
The role of Betty will be done by Lila Sawyer, and the part of Lawrence goes to Arnold... hmmm, I can't even read my own handwriting.

False Alarm

Gerald
Helga, baby, put your feet up. I’ll tell it.

Curly
Because three months, two weeks and four days ago, Eugene borrowed my favorite pencil - the pencil I got last summer at Wankyland - and then, when he finally returned it, it had chew marks all over it! And he sharpened it down to the metal parts! I couldn't sleep! I couldn't eat! All I could think about was Eugene writing with my pencil, Eugene chewing on my eraser and Eugene sharpening, sharpening, SHARPENING!!! And then, when he finally gives it back to me, he says: 'Oh, here Curly.' Like it was NO BIG DEAL!
I couldn't take this lying down. See, I got a plan — the fire alarm. All I had to do was plant the right clues the peanut butter the glasses and to top it all of the pencil. Bingo, he would be randed for life! Ahhhh Ahhhhh Ahhhahhh!

Curly
[Dementedly]
I did It! I pulled the fire alarm! And I'd do it again, too! See? Laughs dementedly as we hear the fire bell ringing and Curly pulling the levers down
Principal Wartz
Stop that!

Family Man

Mr. Hyunh
I like to work in the restaurant.

Ernie Potts
I'm telling you, we could pull this off.
Suzie Kokoshka
I suppose I could be Mrs. Hyunh for just one night.
Ernie Potts
And I'll be his brother, Edwin. Arnold will be his son, Grandpa will be his father.
Grandma
[coming in from the kitchen]
And I'll be Mary, Queen of Scots!
Grandpa
Pookie, you just stay out of the way.

Man
Who are you?
Grandma
Why, I'm Mr. Hyunh's sister. And I'm also Mary, Queen of Scots. cackles

Field Trip

Gerald
Looking like a field trip ha, Arnold?
Arnold
Huh? Oh, are we in the Aquarium yet?
Gerald
Not yet.
[Harold hits Eugene with a spitball]
Gerald
Well, we better get there soon, everybody's getting kind of restless.
Arnold
Awesome.

Harold
Look, I'm a whale. drinks a sip of milk and spits it out through his nose

Guard
[taunting the animals at the aquarium]
Here, have a cookie. Ha-ha, you tossed your cookies!

Arnold's Grandma
Go! You're free, run like the wind!

Fighting Families

Game Show Host
And from PS. 118, meet Arnold and his family. Phil, Pookie, Ernie, and and Mr. Heeee-yun!
Mr. Hyunh
It's H-WIN!!

Ernie
One more comment, Hyunh, and I'll give you a knuckle sandwich, plenty with mustard!
Grandpa
I'll give you both a knuckle sandwich!
Grandma
That's odd, I don't remember packing any sandwiches.

Ernie
Oh, good one, Hyunh!
Mr. Hyunh
You push me!
Ernie
Yeah! Well, Gramps stepped on my toe!
Grandpa
I did not! This is stepping on your toe! steps on Ernie's foot

Mr. Hyunh
Pluto, Pluto!
Ernie
Not Pluto, Pluton! You idiot!

Brainy
Huhhh... Huhh... Hi.

Contest Lady
And the winner is Arnold... there seems to be a smudge over the last name.
Stinky
That must be you, Arnold, on the count that you're the only kid named Arnold in this whole danged school.

Fishing Trip

Grandpa Phil
[Spotted a dead owl]
Aw, look, a dead owl. Breakfast!

Eugene
I just know we'll wake up tomorrow to a better day!
[Someone farts]
Gerald
If we make it till tomorrow.

Mr. Berman
My knees are weak.
Grandpa Phil
My knees are fake.

Grandpa Phil
Oh! Let's just fish for the Halibut!

Four-Eyed Jack

Oskar
Ghost? I don't believe in ghosts. I'm not the least bit superstitious.
Susie
[From inside]
What do you mean you're not superstitious? You keep a horse shoe in your pants.
Oskar
Don't mock my families traditions!

Oskar
I know, let's catch him and sell him to the circus!

Four-Eyed Jack
Um...boo!

Friday the 13th

Grandma

Happy Friday the thirteenth!

Gerald
[sees black cats]
That's not exactly the sign I was looking for.
Arnold
They're probably Grandma's cats. She's... uh... collecting them...
Gerald
Collecting them?
Arnold
Don't ask...

Full Moon

Harold
[heard Principal Wartz coming out of his office]
Here he comes. Get ready on three, [Harold, Stinky, and Sid put on some masks and turn around] one...
Arnold
Are really gonna go through this?
Harold
Shh! Two... they unzip and grab their pants, Principal Wartz walks down the hallway Three! everyone except Arnold bends over
Principal Wartz
What the — what is this? puts on his glasses and sees Harold, Stinky, and Sid mooning him Oh, my! Harold, Stinky, and Sid pull up their pants, and run down the hallway laughing Come back here you hooligans! Harold, Stinky, and Sid ran out of the school and Principal Wartz was panting You won't get away with this!

Arnold
He gave me four weeks detention.
Sid
Four weeks!?
Stinky
But you didn't even do anything!
Arnold
I know, Stinky.

Principal Wartz
[to Arnold]
You understand that your permanent record will follow you all the way to Jr. High?
Arnold
I understand.
Principal Wartz
And you still won't tell?
Arnold
No.

Principal Wartz
[about mooning]
Mooning is not funny! It's not a game!

Harold
I did it, it was me! I'm sorry, Arnold was completely innocent! I'm the mooner! I'm the mooner!!!

Gerald vs. Jamie O

Jamie O
Hey! You ripped my shirt!
Gerald
Your shirt? That's my shirt!

Gerald Comes Over

Timberly
Hey, look! I'm Timberly the Pink Ranger!

Arnold
Okay, Gerald, we're almost there. Now at times the things you see may confuse or even frighten you. But just remember, everyone is essentially harmless.
Gerald
Arnold, relax. I've been here before. Besides, how weird can your house be?

Gerald
[about Ernie]
Man, he was creepy.
Arnold
Ya, and he likes you.

Arnold
[As Susie's throwing all her stuff into the hall]
Stand by for pottery!

Gerald Moves Out

[Upset over washing Gerald's clothes]
Mr Hyunh
This lint is your lint.
[in high pitch voice]
I'm not your Mother!
Gerald
Okay, I’m sorry. Gerald leaves the room
Mr. Hyunh
[To Arnold]
I am not his mother!

Gerald's Tonsils

Phoebe

My Gerald... your performance was... inspiring!

Ghost Bride

Stinky

[passing the graveyard]
Look, fellers. We're passing the bone-yard.
Harold
Hurry up, you guys! This place is gives me the creeps! It's full of dead people!
Stinky
Well, you might as well get used to it, on the count of we'll probably all be buried here someday.
Harold
Okay maybe, but that won't happen for a long, long time. Right?

Stinky
[talking about the Ghost Bride]
The Ghost Bride will get you and hack you up, just like her sister and her former intended!

Arnold
[reading headstone]
Here lies Cynthia Snell. She lived her life and went straight to... I can't read the rest.

Arnold
But we have to do something, we can't just stay in here forever.
Harold
Sure we can, these guys did. points at two dead corpses
Arnold
But they're dead.
Sid
What's your point?

Sid
[to Curly, dressed as a dead bride]
I can't believe you'd pull such a dirty trick!
Eugene Horowitz
I can't believe how nice you look in that dress!

[while Curly is tied inside the crypt, he heard someone humming "Here comes the bride"]
Curly
Helga? Is that you? Come on! This isn't a joke! Let me out! Come on, Helga! Helga?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Girl Trouble

Big Bob
Hey, Helga, it's your little friend, Alfred, on the phone!
Helga
Arnold? Calling me? At my house?
Big Bob
Yeah, yeah, Arnold.

Helga
Oh, Arnold! So kind, so just, so moral! is twirling around while the telephone cord is wrapping around her
You couldn't help but return to the ways I know and love. she sighs and falls to the floor with a loud thump, Big Bob hears the fall from downstairs
Arnold
Helga?? Are you there??

[Helga is on the floor wrapped in her telephone cord]
Helga
[sarcastically]
Yeah, yeah! An agreement sounds great. Have my people call your people and we'll draw up the papers! Yeah, in your dreams, football head! Like I'm ever going to agree with you about anything! And don't ever call me at my house ever again!!! EVER!!! sighs and Big Bob opens her bedroom door and looks down to her confused, Helga looks up at him and laughs sheepishly
Big Bob
I'm not even gonna ask... leaves her room

Grand Prix

Stinky
How about the Muave Avenger?
Arnold
We are not calling our go-cart, the Muave Avenger.
[Scene changes]
Arnold
I can't believe we called our go-cart the Muave Avenger.

Edmund
Hey, when do I get to drive?
Wolfgang
You get to drive, uh... NEVER!

[Eugene has come in second.]
Stinky
But we didn't win.
Eugene
But I didn't crash!
Stinky
But we didn't win.

Grandpa's Birthday

[Grandpa believes he has died]
Grandpa
Well, that's it. I must be in heaven. Oh, no! Oskar's here! This must be the other place!

Arnold
No, Grandpa, you're still with us. Good morning, Grandpa.
Grandpa Phil
What's so good about it?

Grandpa's Sister

Grandpa Phil

And I'm about to go fishing with my favorite grandson!
Arnold
I'm your only grandson.
Grandpa Phil
Uh-huh...

Arnold
Grandpa, you can't jettison Aunt Mitzi out the second-floor window!

Grudge Match

Grandpa Phil
Ohh, I hit a birdie, that's terrible!

Hall Monitor

Gerald
You know that monster truck show this afternoon? Wish we could go.
Arnold
Can't, got detention.
Gerald
Yeah, me, too. Look at these! One for walking too fast, one for walking too slow, one for squeaky shoes, one for suspiciously quiet shoes. And these are from this morning. Tosses them on the floor
[Phoebe writes another ticket and gives it to Gerald]
Gerald
What's this for?
Phoebe
One for littering.

Harold the Butcher

Mr. Green
Harold Berman, I can't believe my eyes, you stole my beautiful ham! And now it's ruined!
Harold
Aw, I was hungry! I was really, really hungry!
Mr. Green
That doesn't give you the right to steal from people! You understand that?
Harold
NOOOOO!!!! MOMMY!!!!!!!!
Mr. Green
I'm gonna have to call his mommy.

Harold's Bar Mitzvah

Danny

[Describing his mother]
She's tall and has... hair! Wah-wah!

Harold's Kitty

Harold
Don't shoot! I'm just a kid with a cat!

Headless Cabbie

Stinky
[telling his scary story]
This here yarn of a horror is about the ever-frighting: Monkeycat. In the dingy laboratory of the despicable Dr. Mischief, there lived an old furry cat. One day, the cat snuck into the cage of a frisky monkey and got himself caught. Dr Mischief watched as the monkey and the cat began to fight, they became entangled together and that's when the evil doctor got his big idea. He cut off the monkey's head and sewed on the cat's body and invented...Monkeycat!
Gerald
Monkeycat?
Stinky
Monkeycat!
Gerald
What's so scary about that?
Stinky
It's a banana eating milk drinking horror monster, Monkeycat!
Harold
[throws his pillow at Stinky]
That's not scary! That's stupid!

Heat

Grandma
I've got a husband, a grandson, and a boarding house full of people to be responsible for.
Arnold
[to himself]
This heat's so crazy it's got Grandma acting normal.

Grandpa
[on broken air-con]
There's a high-tech solution for everything... Arnold, go down to the store and buy some ice.

Eugene
I'll take a snow cone.
Jolly Olly Man
Eighteen dollars.
Eugene
All I have is seventy cents, what will that get me?
Jolly Olly Man
[laughs]
Nothing!

The Jolly Olly Man
Haven't you ever heard of supply and demand?
Helga
Well, I demand that you supply me with some ice cream, before I knock your teeth out!

Kids
No ice cream, no peace!

Helga and the Nanny

Miriam
I just have to go to work... somewhere.

[Mocking Big Bob, bowing theatrically]
Helga
All hail the Beeper King!

Arnold
Helga, are those flowers in your hair?
Helga
Yeah, you got a problem with it?

Stinky
Wow, Helga, you look just like the girl on the box of hot chocolate.

Helga on the Couch

Helga
I'm late for school and no one made my lunch.
Miriam
Oh, yeah, I did, honey, I put it out for you... it's... it's around here somewhere... opens oven door ...Oh, here it is!
Helga
Moist towelettes, an individual packet of crackers and... a can of shaving cream?
Miriam
How did that get in there? Uh-oh, uh-oh, that must mean the cheese fizz is in B's medicine cabinet.
Big Bob
AHHH!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO RUN A BEEPER EMPORIUM WITH MY FACE SMELLING LIKE HICKORY SMOKED CHEDDAR, MIRIAM??!!

Dr. Bliss
Principal Wartz, I'm Dr. Bliss.

Principal Wartz Oh, Dr. Bliss, I'm Principal Wartz. Welcome to P.S. 118.

Dr. Bliss
Thank you.
Principal Wartz
[nervously]
What do you mean by that?
Dr. Bliss
Nothing.

Helga
What are you looking at?

Helga
Hey who's the skirt?

Helga
So I hit him, so what? Brainy he doesn't mind, I do it all the time. What? You would sock him too if he was standing behind you breathing.

Helga
That's obvious Bob.

Helga
So, are you a real doctor? I mean, if I suddenly had a heart attack, would you be able to save me?
Dr. Bliss
Well, there is a heart clinic upstairs, so this would actually be a very convenient place for you to have a heart attack.

Dr. Bliss
How about we try a little word association? Now, I'm going to read off this list of words, and I want you to say the next word that comes to mind.
Helga
[to herself]
Steady girl, you can do it. Do not say Arnold.
Dr. Bliss
Love.
Helga
Hate.
Dr. Bliss
Rocket.
Helga
Locket... pocket... Davey Crocket!
Dr. Bliss
Football.
Helga
Head... ha... did I say head? I mean game. Football game.
Dr. Bliss
Monday.
Helga
Night Football. falls out of chair ...enough word association.
Dr. Bliss
Good Idea.

Big Bob
Uhhhhh... In a minute, Olga.
Little Helga
NO! I'm HELGA, Dad! HELGA!

Young Arnold
I like your bow.I like your bow 'cause its pink like your pants.

Young Helga
I love you, Arnold, and I want to marry you.

Helga
I love Arnold! There, I said it! I love him! I love him! Arnold! Arnold! Arnold! I'm absitively posolutly in love with the boy! I want to grow up having a fabulous life, traveling around the world with him! Coffee in Paris, roses sailboats, the whole nine yards, I want to have a perfume named after us "Arnold Helga!" I Love ARNOLD!!!!

Helga
He makes me so crazy. I once made a likeness of Arnold's head out of wads of his used gum.
Dr. Bliss
Well, Helga, you feel your emotions very strongly, and as long as you're not hurting anyone, its sounds like a great way to express yourself. Pauses Did you say used gum?

Helga
So it's okay to be obsessed about him? You know, the shrines, the 3 AM vigils, the chanted spells?
Dr. Bliss
As long as you're not hurting anyone it sounds like an okay way to express yourself.
Helga
So animal sacrifices are out?
Dr. Bliss
Yes, I'm afraid so.

Helga
If you ever tell anyone, I'll rip your tongue out and wrap it around your neck!

Helga
Arnold!
Arnold
Oh, sorry, Helga.
Helga
I just want to say that, that... that you should watch where you're going, Football Head, quit crashing into me all the time! Sheesh! Helga runs away.
Arnold
Nice running into you too Helga.
Helga
Look at him, all ticked off. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know my secret. What a sap! He still can't even tell that I adore him.
[Brainy comes out of a corner.]
Hey look Brainy, this is just weird. How is it that you're standing behind me again? How did you get in this little arch? Where you waiting for me to come into this alley? What's your deal? So, I am not gonna hit you this time, today I'm feeling generous, but tomorrow look out.

Helga vs. Big Patty

Helga
So the thing is, Patty, I realized you're a human being too, and you have felines...? ooh, ooh, feelings!

Patty
[to Helga]
Hey, you and Arnold. Do you have some thing for each other?

Helga Blabs It All

Helga
Boy I'm feeling goofy, you know this Arnold guy he's been on my mind morning, noon and night for the past six years. I mean think about it, since I'm currently nine years old that is fully two thirds of my young life, is that crazy or what?
Why do I torture myself by keeping it all a big secret why not just tell Arnold? La La La La La.
Hey why am I telling you all this, you don't even know the guy. I'll just call that adorable little football head right know and tell him myself. Phone rings she gets answering machine.
Hello Arnold this is Helga yes Helga G. Pataki the girl that worships you yes wastes days of passionate thoughts about you ohh my angel sweet love ohh how I lo.... AHHHHHHHHH!

Helga
Ohhh brother why doesn't everyone I know just show up so they all can spend the rest of there lives in this hallway?

Helga's Boyfriend

Stinky

I'll die!
Arnold
You won't die, Stinky.
Stinky
No, I will, I'll die, laid down and die like an old dog.

Helga's Locket

Grandpa Phil
And you forgot your moustache!

Helga's Makeover

Arnold

Helga's a girl.
Gerald
She is? Glances at Helga Oh, yeah, I always forget.

Harold
Helga's not a girl. Helga's not a girl.

Helga
I am too a girl. I'm pretty. I'm feminine. I'm delicate. Helga bumps into someone
Man
Oh, excuse me young man.
Helga
I'm a girl!

Cashier
Yeah, um, how much is this magazine to make ugly girls look pretty?

Sid
I just saw Helga on her way to Rhonda's party and she was all dolled up... LIKE A GIRL!

Helga
You're right, Rhonda. I'm not like rest of you. I'm not wearing a mask. I mean, look at us! Tin foil in our hair? Glop on our faces? High-heeled shoes? Why are we wearing them? We're already taller than the boys!

Harold
The horror! The Horror!

Helga's Parrot

Parrot
[repeating what Helga said]
Arnold is my love.

Pet Store Salesgirl
Don't talk her out of buying it, kid. That lizard's been here so long, I'm teaching it to read.

Helga's Show

Stinky
Are you makin' fun on me on account of my love for lemon puddin'?

Phoebe
What good qualities can we say about Stinky?
Helga
Well, he floats.

[Helga is doing stand-up in the school juice bar]
Helga
My first impression is someone we all know. It's the first voice you hear in the morning, and it goes something like this:
[imitating Principal Wartz]
"Attention, students of P.S. 118, I have an important announcement. Henceforth, all lunch-related activities shall be conducted during the lunchtime period."
[normal voice]
Whoo, thanks for clearing that up, Principal Wartz.

Hey Arnold!: The Movie

Bridget
Who'd touched my button?!
[Arnold & Gerald are smiling in a slightly perverse way]
Arnold & Gerald
ME! ME!

Gerald
Do these belts come in any other color?
Bridget
Black or pink?
Gerald
Uh, we'll take black.

Arnold
What's wrong with old things? Some old things are great.
Harold
Yeah, like Mrs. Vitello.
Mrs. Vitello
[Hitting Harold]
Whippersnapper!

Arnold
Grandma!
Ernie
She's still in jail.
Arnold
I thought they were keeping her one night.
Ernie Potts
Yeah, but she keeps trying to escape. Like she thinks it's a game. Fourth time they've brought her back in.

Helga
My brave little football-headed hero.

Arnold
I think I need to go lie down.
Helga
I'll go with you!

[Arnold, sees Gerald praying]
Arnold
I didn't know you were so religious.
Gerald
Neither did I.

Eugene Horowitz
[singing]
This is our neighborhood! How can they tear it down! How can they turn our smile into a frown!
Arnold
[turns off stereo]
No singing, Eugene.
Eugene Horowitz
But the occasion called for it.
Arnold
No, Eugene. No singing.

Stinky Peterson
[about Scheck]
He sure gives me the willies.
Gerald
Yeah, but he looks good in a suit.
Arnold
[annoyed]
Gerald...
Gerald
I know. I'm just saying.

Scheck
And I would of gotten away with it, if it weren't for that meddling football head, that kid with all the hair, and that brat with the one eyebrow.
Helga
Ah, tell it to the judge, donut hole.

Big Bob Pataki
I could get you that pony you've been wanting.
Helga
I wanted a pony when I was five, Dad.

Helga
[as deep voice]
I'm everywhere and nowhere, but mostly I'm everywhere.

Helga
I wish I had a sign. pigeon poops on her Perfect.

Scheck
[singing]
Life is just a bowl of cherries.

[at end of movie]
Arnold
Now you're looking on the bright side.
Gerald
Somebody has too.

Hey Harold!

Harold
Well, I think girls are stupid and I think dancing stupid too, and if I ever had to dance with a girl I bet I'd drop dead.

Harold
Stop it ma, I'm not charming and I'm not handsome — I'm a big dumb ugly kid.

Harold
Stop it! You guys don't know what you're talking about. Her name's not Big Patty It's Patty. And she's not stupid and she's not dumb. Not only that, she's smart and she's nice and funny. I must be crazy to listen to you guys, why do I care what you think? The only thing that matters is what I think. And what I think is I like Patty! And if anybody has a problem with that I'll beat you up so bad it won't even be funny!

Hookey

Oskar
Eh. Heheheheh! Look! It's Buddy Love! And he's going coconuts!

It Girl

Big Bob
Not everyone is dressing like you?
Miriam
[Dressed as Helga]
Look, everyone, I'm the it girl.
Helga
AHHHH!

Longest Monday

Stinky
[Hides into a trash can]
Talk about ironic.

[The boys board the local bus]
Gerald
Not a fifth-grader in sight.
[Arnold spots some 5th graders in the back of the bus]
Arnold
[Points out]
Um, Gerald?
Gerald
[Disappointed]
Except for those guys.

Magic Show

Harold

Come on, let's go already, I paid for this show!
Sid
Paid for it? It's free, you bonehead!

Helga
Oh brother, we're living in Geeksville.
Phoebe
I think he looks highly professional.
Helga
What, are you blind? Two pigeons just flew out of his pants!

Helga
[on the "rubber" pencil]
It's the oldest trick in the book!

Helga
[on disappearing box]
What a cheap trick!

Helga
Hey, If I'm a ghost, I can fly. Helga jumps straight on to the road

Helga
I can't believe it. They're happy I'm gone? Everybody was supposed to miss me! This can't be happening!

Person in Helga Costume
[Person inside costume speaks through a voice box]
Doy. Doy. Doy. Doy. Move it, bucko! Move it, bucko!

Helga
[on the road]
Oh wait, I forgot, I'm invisible.

Helga
Somebody miss me!

Arnold
All magicians know that it takes, uh, 48 attempts to bring someone back. So finally, here she is, Helga!

Married

Helga
Oh... Arnold and I are going to be married! It’s true! He did the test 110 times, and... despite the fact that the result revolted him... it always came out the same! Me and Arnold... MARRIED! Oh, it’s FATE! This is... wonderful...
[Arnold & Gerald head toward Arnold’s house]
Arnold
This is HORRIBLE!

Helga
[in her closet]
I’m going to marry Arnold! It’s like a dream!
Arnold
[in his room, ready to sleep]
It’s like a nightmare!
Helga
[in her bed]
The one boy I’ve always hoped I would marry!
Arnold
One girl I NEVER WANNA marry! EVER!
Helga
Arnold... Arnold... kisses her Arnold locket
Arnold
[dreaming]
I’m not going to marry Helga... I’m not going to marry Helga...

[In Arnold's dream, the bride is approaching...]
Gerald
Look sharp. Here comes your bride!
Arnold
Lila?
Helga
[SHE'S the bride]
No such luck, football-head!

Helga
Say, "I do"
Arnold
But, I don't.
Helga
You do.
Arnold
I don't.
Helga
You don't.
Arnold
I do.
Helga
Gotcha!

Priest
[quickly]
Do you, Helga, take Arnold to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love, honor, and cherish till death do you part?
Helga
You got it, padre! I mean, I do.

Arnold
You are the most beautiful girl in the world. Your eyes are like shining diamonds.
Helga
Aww, go on.
Arnold
All right, I'll stop.
Helga
No, I mean go on, go on.

[In Arnold's dream]
Helga
I guess you could say I love, I love...
Clock
Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!

Monkey Business

Helga
[About the monkey]
Doesn't it do anything else?
[Later, in Helga's dream where she's the monkey]
Lady Observer
Can't she do anything else?!

Helga
I think you're... okay. I mean, you're a real okay, guy, and I think you're okay.
Arnold
[Smiles and pats her on the arm]
Thanks, Helga, you're okay, too. Leaves
Helga
He thinks I'm okay and he touched me!
[Scene changes to outside]
Helga: And I'm not a monkey!

Helga
[As a monkey]
Arnold, I love you, but I never had the guts to tell you.
Arnold
But you're not Helga, you're a monkey, a monkey girl.

Monkeyman!

Monkeyman
MONKEYMAAAAN!

Mr. Hyunh Goes Country

Mr. Hyunh

But you see, Arnold and tall hair boy, I don’t want to be famous! I want to live my life simply! I like my banana wallpaper, I like doing my own laundry! Just give me the simple things!

Ms. Perfect

Lila
Don't worry, Daddy, we still have that can of beans in the fridge.
Mr. Sawyer
[Dramatically]
No, we don't, I ate them for lunch! Cries

Helga
[about Lila]
Well, everything's back to normal.
Rhonda
She's Little Miss Perfect again.
Phoebe
She's funny and nice, pretty and popular.
Helga
And you know what the worst part is? I like her.
Rhonda and Phoebe
Yeah, me too.

Mud Bowl

Wolfgang
We'll meet you tomorrow... on the gridiron. Leaves
Edmund
[Off-screen]
What's a gridiron?
Wolfgang
[Off-screen, whispers]
Shut up...

Gerald
We're going to beat them?
Arnold
Sorry, I got carried away.
Helga
Nice going head boy, now we're all going to get carried away, On stretchers! They're fifth graders! They older, bigger, more brutal.
Arnold
Size isn't everything Helga, maybe we're smarter.
Helga
Smarter, being smarter doesn't have to do with anything with football.

Helga
97
[Kids groan while doing push-ups.]
Helga
98
[Kids groan while doing push-ups.]
Helga
99! Come on! Get up! Walk it off. Let's go! We're going to practice everyday until I start seeing some improvement. And let's start thinking positively, think like winners, you bunch of losers.
[Harold vomits]
Helga
Any questions?
Harold
Ahh, I just throw up my protein drink! Vomits again

 

Mugged

Grandma
Be as the frog in the pond, Arnold.

Arnold
[Into a mirror]
Hey! You talkin' to me? You... talkin' to me?
Grandpa Phil
No, I didn't say anything.

Arnold
Hey, leave those kids alone.

Mugger
Give me your purse, Granny!
Grandma
He can have it. It's just a purse, you know.

New Teacher

Lt. Major Goose
You, what's your name?
Curly
Curly.
Lt. Major Goose
Your hair's not curly, boy! What's your real name?
Curly
Thaddeus.
Lt. Major Goose
Curly, go stand over there!

Mr. Simmons
Well, that's one way to respond by not responding. Silence: often speaks volumes.
Principal Wartz
It's like music to my ears.

Olga Comes Home

Helga

To change the grades... or not to change the grades... that is the question....

Helga
Stuck in her shadow, sweet revenge... stuck, revenge.... no contest Helga decides to redo Olga's grades

Olga
[after getting a B plus]
I can't believe. I— I've never even gotten an A-minus!
Helga
Well, you know what they say. The brain is always the first thing to go!

Big Bob
[about Olga]
She can't be moping all day.
Miriam
Yes she can... I do.

Helga
[eating chocolates]
One for Helga... none for Olga.

Arnold
I don't know, Helga. I've always wanted to have a brother or a sister. I always thought those relationships were kinda special.
Helga
Yeah, well, what do you know? Olga is evil. She's a pompous, overbearing, arrogant witch. Only, this time, I've got her beat.
Arnold
Okay. Forget I mentioned it.

Helga
[on Arnold's advice]
If only I could be that kind... but I'm not, so that's that.

Helga
[on her parents' concern for Olga]
Even when she's out of the way, she still ruins everything for me. Helga slams door on Olga Ah, much better.

Helga
[in fantasy sequence]
What's it like to fly?
Arnold the Angel
It's OK.

Helga
[after telling the truth, and now it's back to the parents praising Olga and punishing Helga]
Everything's back to normal, bucko.

Olga
You must think I'm pretty lucky, all the attention I get from Mom and Dad. I have to be perfect all the time and perform like some kind of wind-up doll. You're lucky that they don't even notice you.
Helga
Thanks.
Olga
Hey, what are sisters for?
Helga
I don't know.

Olga
Tomorrow let's spend the day together, just you and me.

Olga Gets Engaged

Miriam
[when she hears about Olda getting married]
No, Olga! Don't make the same mistake I made!

Helga
Oh man, this guy's a total liar! If Olga marries him, her life will be ruined... Perfect!

On the Lam

Stinky
I done went and sat on my hot sauce and now I gots hot pants!

Harold
[Pretending to be a hobo, he gets asked if he's seen Harold, Stinky, and Sid]
No sir, and we don't know nothing about some police station!

Harold
We can't go to the authorities, we blew up the authorities!

Harold, Sid, and Stinky
WE BLEW UP THE POLICE STATION!!!!! Waaaaaah!!!!!
Ernie
No... I blew up the police station!!!!

Operation Ruthless

Arnold
[practicing]
Hi Ruth. Hi Ruth. Hi Ruth.

[as they are about go into the Tunnel of Love]
Harold
I don't want to go into the Tunnel of Love with you Rhonda!
Rhonda
Oh I know you like me Harold!
[as she grabs him in the ride and as they head off into the Tunnel of Love]
Harold
NO I DON'T! HELP! HELP!

Helga
Make way! Shove over, sister. Checks boy line This is perfect. A little maneuvering and I'll be riding a swan with Arnold while Ruth winds up with some dumb slob. Laughs Helga, you're a genius. Crashes into a girl Shove over, sister!

Oskar Can't Read?

Oskar
Kitty, kitty, kitty, do you like to pet the kitty? I like to pet the kitty! Hey look! I'm petting the kitty!

Oskar
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Kid
Can't you read, mister, can't you read?

Oskar Gets a Job

Arnold
Will you stop talking like a talkshow host sidekick?!

Phoebe Cheats

Mr. Simmons
[Reading Phoebe's poem in front of the class]
I hear your name, like a bell, ringing, ringing, in my heart.

Phoebe Skips

Phoebe
[jumping on her bed]
I get to go to the sixth grade! I get to go to the sixth grade!

Phoebe
I suppose the only solution would be to tell the manger the truth.
Helga
That is the stupidest idea I have ever heard in my entire life!

Helga
I need time to come up with a plan to get out of paying! We'll stall! We'll order more food! Lots more food!
Phoebe
But isn't that just exacerbating the problem?

Phoebe's Little Problem

Harold

I got something to say. Phoebe's a farter! Phoebe's a farter! Hahahahaha! Suddenly he wets his pants; gulps
Sid
Look! Harold wet his pants!

Pigeon Man

Stinky
[About Pigeon Man]
Does he bite?

Pigeon Man
Some people are meant to be with people, and others, like me, are just different.

Pigeon Man
Remember, Arnold, always wash your berries before you eat them. And fly towards the sun.

Polishing Rhonda

Rhonda
[About her progress report]
Pushy? Self-obsessed? Materialistic? There must be some mistake!

Rhonda
How am I supposed to get punch with you standing there?
Patty
Try saying the magic word.
Rhonda
Move?

Principal Simmons

Simmons

PS 118 needs you back!
Wartz
Excuse me a moment. closes door, starts singing and dancing with a doll They want me back! They want me back! They want me back! Who-ho! opens the door, gets serious face Please come in.

Quantity Time

Big Bob
[Thinking]
Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.
Helga
[Thinking]
Great, now I have to sit through this stupid musical for three hours.

Ransom

Curly
Yeah, I like Licorice, so what? Kidnapping is not my game — too messy!

Curly
Alright I'll tell ya but you have to keep it under your hatsee.

Curly
I was at a ballet lesson Madame Bovary's school for boys.

Gerald
Ballet lessons? Oh, come on.
Curly
[Dancing]
Plié, jeté. See, I ain't joking.
Gerald
Hey, he's pretty good.
Arnold
All right, he checks out.

Harold
[To Arnold and Gerald]
You call me Slim one more time, I'll knock your teeth off!

Rhonda Goes Broke

Rhonda
There is no way I'm going to recycle bottles and cans to pay for my lunch! Scene changes; shows her digging through a dumpster

Rhonda's Glasses

Rhonda
If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

Road Trip

Helga

Me, Mom and Dad are supposed to visit my grandma in South Dakota.
Arnold
Sounds like fun.
Helga
I'd rather have a root canal.

Helga
Great! You lost the directions; we’re totally lost on the road to nowhere, with a map of Wankyland!

Helga
Mom, please tell me you didn’t leave your purse on top of the car again!
Miriam
Helga, you know, I think that that is exactly what happened.

Roller Coaster

[as Arnold and Eugene Horowitz are going in a Roller Coaster]
Sid
He's a goner...
Gerald
He's a brave boy...
Harold
He's a saint — he gave me his tokens...

Roughin' It

[on a camping trip, Grandpa is showing Arnold and Gerald survival skills. Gerald is eating red berries. Arnold is eating green berries]
Grandpa
Now, only do this under adult supervision. Red and sweet are good to eat, but I swear by this sonnet, green will make you vomit.
Arnold
[swallows]
I thought it was green and sweet are good to eat.
Grandpa
No, I've been saying it all morning. Red and sweet. Red and sweet.
Arnold
Excuse me a minute. Arnold runs off screen and vomits
Grandpa
[sarcastically]
You're vomiting, aren't you, Arnold?

Grandpa
Everything in nature is beautiful. Unless it's ugly.

On a hike through the woods
Big Bob Pataki
Ugh! It's getting kind of cold. I think I should turn down this air breeze a little... Turns knob and it explodes, sending Bob into a tree
Phoebe
Are you okay, Mr. Pataki?
Big Bob Pataki
AM I okay! LOOK AT ME! The food's gone! The air breeze doesn't work! And to top it all off — WE'RE LOST!
Helga
Lost? I thought you knew where we were!
Big Bob Pataki
I've been lost ever since I saw those signs in Spanish.

[after the pathfinder breaks]
Big Bob Pataki
Cheap piece of junk. I'll sell thousands.

Arnold
[using his instincts]
Camp, should be right... there!
[the group cheers happily]
Arnold
But we've got to follow this path around because...
Big Bob
Forget the path, kid! Camp's right there! runs through the tall bushes alone and back into the camp cheering to himself
Arnold
I was just going to say, because that's poison ivy.

Sally's Comet

Gerald

[on the comet]
70 years? Where is it the rest of the time?

Oskar
Eat cereal, get a telescope. What a country.

Helga
I'm sick of cereal. I'm sick of milk. I'm sick of all these football-headed schemes.

Arnold
[Arnold on why not just dump the cereal]
There are children who are starving.
Harold
I'm starving right here.

Gerald
[yelling to the populace]
Turn off ya lights!

Young Phil
Dad, if only those lights weren't burning so bright.
Phil's Dad
I can take care of that. He pours water on gaslight so Phil can see the comet

Phil
[about Hawk Mountain]
I fell off the mountain and broke every bone in my body.

Gerald
[on traffic to Hawk Mountain]
Man, this is insane!

Nocturnal Ned
Too bad you can't do that on the air, now excuse me, I have to go back on live... Ned has a "whoops, looks like they did" look on his face as he sees the "on the air" indicator is already on

Grandpa
Oh my — look up, boys, look up! 23 skidoo! Heh heh! Boys, you're gonna remember this for the rest of your lives!

Grandpa
[on the next time Sally's comet comes along, Arnold and Gerald will be watching]
I won't be, because I'll be... you know"

Grandpa
[to Gerald, last line of the ep]
Would you stop callin' me Phil?!

Save the Tree

Sid
We threw away everything but the kitchen sink! gets the kitchen sink Okay, here goes!

Nick Vermicelli
This time I'll be a 50% partner.
Big Bob Pataki
20.
Nick Vermicelli
40.
Big Bob Pataki
20.
Nick Vermicelli
30.
Big Bob Pataki
20.
Nick Vermicelli
Deal.

Arnold
If I hit the lever, maybe I can stop it.
[Cup misses lever]
Helga
[Mimicking Arnold]
If I can hit the lever, maybe I can stop it.

Arnold
[Thinking]
I hope they stop in time.
Helga
[Thinking]
Boy, he smells good.

Stinky
Wilikers! It's Big Bob!
Sid
And... and... some other guy!

School Play

Helga

[Trying to scare Sheena]
You know about the end, right? She's in a crypt, you know, a mausoleum, full of dead rotting corpses and bats. Getting steadily creepier And then she takes this big, sharp, rusty dagger... and she holds it up high over her head... and then Feigns stabbing herself and gasping in pain Oh, it's great. Real bloody, violent stuff.

Helga
[Mutters quietly]
I like Arnold.
Lila
Pardon? I couldn't hear you.
Helga
[Mutters slightly louder, but faster]
I like Arnold.
Lila
I'm sorry, Helga, you're mumbling.
Helga
[Practically screams to her face]
I LIKE ARNOLD. Pants I'm head over heels, loop-de-loo, over the moon. I'm in love with the boy!. Pants Happy now? Happy?
Lila
[Stares at her, then smiles cooly]
I kinda had a feeling you liked him.

Mr. Hyunh
Why can't you act like a normal person?
Oskar
Me? What about you? You're wearing a dress!

Mr. Hyunh
[to Arnold]
Now I believe you should be Romeo. And I will be Juliette!

Helga
[acting]
Go get the hands, for I will not away...
Sid
[also acting]
Okey-dokey!

Snow

[the residents are moaning about the furnace breaking]
Grandpa
You call this cold? You should have been here in the winter of 49!
Mr Hyunh
I don't care, I was in Vietnam in 1949... plus I was not born yet!

Grandpa
That's the problem with society today.
Arnold
What, we got no work ethic?
Grandpa
No, you got no play ethic!

Spelling Bee

Arnold
[practicing his spelling]
Phlegm. P-H-L-E.....um......
Grandpa
[walks in]
G-M, Phlegm! When you get to be my age, that's a word you use a lot.

Woman
Helga, your word is... "Qualm."
Helga
Qualm. Q-U-A-L... decides to lose on purpose X?
Woman
Sorry, that's incorrect.

Stinky Goes Hollywood

Stinky

Ya-Hoo Soda, just drink it.

Stinky's Pumpkin

Stinky
[to his father]
I know and all in one week too!

Stinky
Try, try, and try again, til you can't try no longer. And if that don't work, you just spent a whole lot of time doin' somethin' you just couldn't do.

Mayor Dixie
Wow! That's the biggest vegetable I've ever seen! First prize goes to.
Stinky
Stinky Peterson.

Stoop Kid

?
He'll chase you down and pulverize you.
?
How can he if he never leaves his stoop?

Harold
Hey, Stoop Kid, are you gonna cry for your mommy! laughs
Stoop Kid
Hey, come back here, you fatboy!

People
Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop! Stoop Kid's afraid to leave his stoop!

Stoop Kid
I think I can! I think I can!

Stuck in a Tree

Harold
Arnold and Eugene stuck in a tree, S-T-U-K in a tree!

Chocolate Boy
[Reciting]
Go to the fire station, tell them we're stuck in a tree, and don't stop for chocolate. Stuck in fire station...

Arnold
Chocolate Boy, go to the fire station, tell them we're stuck up a tree, but don't stop for chocolate.
Chocolate Boy
Go to the fire station, tell them you're stuck up a tree, stop for chocolate.
Arnold
Don't stop for chocolate.
Chocolate Boy
Go to the fire station, tell them you're stuck up a tree, but only after stopping for chocolate.

Student Teacher

Harold
Hey, look, it's Helga the bed wetter. laughs

Summer Love

Helga
What the heck is going on here?? I'm gone for two LOUSY minutes and some bimbo is moving in on my territory! Well, fat chance I'm gonna let that happen. Arnold is gonna be mine, this vacation and no little beach chippie is gonna come between us!

Helga
[To Summer]
So long, Autumn! It's been a blast.

Grandpa Phil
[To ducks, suddenly realizing he was hallucinating]
Wait a minute, you're not my ancestors, you're a bunch of ducks.

Grandpa Phil
[Picks up shell]
Hello, 911? This is Grandpa!

Sandy
So you sure he doesn't have a clue?
Summer
Arnold? no way! he's pathetic, he's in love with me, I could probally get him to build me five sandcastles.
Sandy
But we just need one baby.
Summer
I know one sandcastle, we get first prize, I totally blow off Arnold and get to be on Babewatch, this plan worked out so perfectly.
[Her and Sandy kiss passionately]
Helga
[to crushed Arnold]
Sorry Arnold.
Arnold
You were right the whole time Helga.
[Summer walks over to where they are]
Summer
Oh Arnold there you are, ready to build our winning sandcastle?
Arnold
Forget it Summer, I'm on to you, I know you think I'm pathetic and I know you've been lying to me this whole time.
Summer
[surprised]
Arnold, I-I—
Arnold
I just heard you and that Sandy guy, you were just using me.
Summer
[shocked]
But-but—
Arnold
I'm not building any sandcastle with you, ever. good-bye Summer.

Arnold
Sorry I didn't listen to you Helga, I guess you were really just trying to be my friend.
Helga
And well I figured it was the right thing to do; I mean she was taking advantage of you and I couldn't just- well hey what the heck are we standing here talking for? we got a sandcastle competition to win; come on!

Suspended

Harold
[when he saw a D+ on his paper]
Oh, I hate school. I wish I never have to go to school again.
Arnold
Come on, Harold, it's not that bad.
Harold
Yes, it is! We're trapped in here day after day, doing boring stuff, and standing in line for cold crappy food that they don't even give me time to eat! Oh, I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I just wish there was some way to get out of school and get to stay home and be free!

Principal Wartz
Repeat slowly after me.
Harold
Slowly after me...
Principal Wartz
No!

Synchronized Swimming

Gerald
[About Coach Wittenberg]
But, Arnold, every time we even talk to him, he wants us to join some crazy team!
Coach Wittenberg
Boys, I want you to join this crazy team.

Teachers' Strike

Teachers
No chalk, no teachers! No chalk, no teachers!

Principal Wartz
Where do you think you're going?
Arnold
Back to school.

Gerald
There are teachers everywhere!
Harold
It's like one of those horror movies!
Helga
Except for the fact it's real, pink boy!

The Aptitude Test

Helga
I'll show them. I'm me the most mountain, nature-loving girl the Aptidute has ever seen. Whacks a pine cone with a stick
Eugene
5, 6, 7, 8, and— Gets hit with the pine cone

The Baseball

Mickey Kaline
[to Arnold]
Y'know, kid, since I was seven years old the only thing I ever wanted to do was play baseball. I loved every minute of it. From the first time I played catch with my dad to the home run I hit this afternoon. And, well... thanks, kid.

The Beeper Queen

Helga
Mom?
Miriam
Helga? What on earth are you doing here?
Helga
I need you for a minute, Mom. I mean, I need to talk to you.
Miriam
You need me for a minute, Mom. Listen, I am sorry, Helga, but this is just not a good time. I mean, we'll be back on in five minutes and they need me. So whatever it is, it'll just have to wait until later, okay? So, go on, bye-bye, go do your homework or something.

Cool Jerk

Helga

[to Harold being hit by a dodgeball]
You're fine, Rudolph.

Gerald
My buddy says Frankie G. is bad news.

Frankie
See you tomorrow, Arnold.
Arnold
See ya, Frankie.

Gerald
There something I don't like about that Frankie G guy.
Arnold
Well maybe you're just bummed cause there's actually someone around cooler than you for a change.

Frankie
I said I like you, kid! You got potential!
Arnold
You want my pencil?

Gerald
Fuzzy Slippers never tells lies.

Gerald
Who'd you say was the coolest again?
Arnold
You're a Bold kid, Gerald.
Gerald
Wait a minute. That's my line.

The Flood

Harold
[sobbing]
I'm so close to the food! So close and yet so far away!
Helga
[to Harold]
Aw, put a sock in it! The rest of us can't live off our bolt like you can.
Mr. Simmons
[to Helga]
Young lady, I'm warning you—
Helga
What are you gonna do, make me stay after school?
Stinky
Helga, you're just too dang ornery!
Helga
Here's how much I care what you think. snaps finger

The Haunted Train

Arnold
Brainy? What are you doing here?
Brainy
Um. wheeze Something.

Arnold
There is no haunted train.
Grandpa
Well, now I didn’t say that.

 

The High Life

Gerald
What am I gonna do now, Smart Guy? AWWWWWW!!! sobs

The Journal

Grandpa
[Grandpa is reading out of Arnold's father's journal, an entry describing a volcanic eruption]
"It was terrifying and beautiful all at the same time." to Grandma Kind of like you, Pookie.

Phil
[reading journal]
It was the hottest night the jungle could get when we... whoops, time for bed Shortman!
Arnold
But Grandpa, it's only six o'clock.
Phil
Well, go order us some dinner then.
[Arnold leaves, and Phil tears the page he was reading out and puts it in his pocket]
Whoo, that was close.

Phil
[to Arnold]
They should have named you Phil.

Phil
[reading Miles' journal]
"Tomorrow I will propose to Stella".
Arnold
Does she say yes?
Phil
[sarcastically]
Why no Arnold!

[after reading about Arnold's birth]
Arnold
So, did my parents go back to their village after that?
Grandpa
[sarcastically]
No, you all lived in a temple surrounded by hot, boiling lava.
Grandma
But where did they go to the bathroom?
Grandpa
Yet another mystery.

Grandpa
Never get old, Arnold, never get old!

Priest Translator
[to Stella and Miles]
I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. —
[Pookie interrupts the story with a belch]

Grandpa
Pookey, I got a roll of tape, and I'm not afraid to use it!

The List

Gerald
The list for a kid's perfect Saturday: watch every cartoon from Six AM 'til Dance Craze, while eating three bowls of sugar chunk cereal; ride your bike down the steepest hill in the neighborhood, and you all know which one that is; play catch with every kid in the park; and finally, go to the movies and sit through it three times!

Guy on TV
Mutant robots from outer space, spitting bacteria that eat your face... TV melts
Grandpa
Hmmm... looks like I got the 220 mixed up with the 660.

The Little Pink Book

Helga
Those poems weren't meant to be seen until I am dead and buried and worms have consumed my flesh.

Helga
[referring to Arnold's room]
I'm in his room, the place I have often visited in my dreams.

Helga
Ohh My gosh what is that shampoo?

Arnold
So far, we know our suspect is female, lives in the tri-state area, and is somewhere between the ages of eight... and eighty-seven.

Helga
First spitball of the day football head.

The Old Building

Arnold
No, you see, I told Grandma I’d help save the same building I told Ernie I’d help destroy!

The Pig War

[Arnold and his friends built a wooden pig and are hiding in it while]

Grandpa pulls it to the "British" fort

Helga
Are you sure this is gonna work?
Arnold
Look. It worked on the Trojans because their enemies knew they were tired of all the fighting.
Grandpa
It worked on the Trojans because the Greeks knew when to keep quiet.

[after Grandpa wheels up a giant wooden pig as a surrender gift]
Rex Smythe-Higgins
Savor this moment, grandson, when your enemy surrenders. Open the gate!
Gate Opener
Sir, there is a certain historical event I think we should consider.
Rex Smythe-Higgins
Your job is not to consider! Your job is to blow the hunting horn! Now open the gate!
[the gate is opened and Arnold and his friends run out of the pig as soon as it is inside]

The Racing Mule

Ernie
[worried about the bet]
Yeah out, as in two hundred clams right down the crapper!

The Sewer King

Grandpa
Hey, where you going?
Arnold
To take a long, hard look at my life.
Grandpa
Well, while you’re there, would you pick up a quart of milk?

Sewer King
I finally have the royal icon.

The Vacant Lot

Gerald
We can call it: Geraldfield!
Arnold
Yeah, that's what we'll call it! Geraldfield!
Gerald
Yeah?
Arnold
Yeah!
Both
Yeah! Whahaha haha
Gerald
I like that name.. Geraldfield! Just say it! GERALDFIELD!

Gerald
You're a bold kid, Arnold, a bold kid.

Arnold
Our hands! Grabs Brainy's hand Look at these hands!
[Brainy wiggles his fingers]
They cleaned that lot! It's not fair.

Grandpa
Now if Arnold and his friends had to do this, they must have had a good reason.
Quietly to Arnold Head for the hills boy, I'll try to slow 'em down.

Timberly Loves Arnold

Gerald
Arnold, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
Arnold
I don't know. What do you think I'm thinking?

Timberly
[to Arnold]
You're the nicest boy ever!
Gerald
[imitating]
Arnold, you're the nicest boy ever! See you tomorrow, Romeo!

Timberly
Where are you going?
Gerald
Nowhere.
Timberly
What are you doing there?
Gerald
Nothing.
Timberly
Can I come?
Gerald
No!

Gerald
We're going somewhere to do something.
Timberly
But you just said you're going nowhere to do nothing!

Tour de Pond

Grandpa Phil
We beated Smith Higgins! We beated Smith Higgins!

Tutoring Torvald

Ms. Slovak
You're 13 years old and you're still in fourth grade!

Ms. Slovak
Torvald, what's 3×3?
Torvald
Uh, 33?

Gerald
[to Arnold]
Do me a favor, Arnold. If he hits you, just lay down and stay down.

Torvald
Look, Arnold, I got a C!

Weighing Harold

Boy

[pointing at Harold]
Hey, look, Mom. It's a fat man!
Boy's Mother
No, he's not a fat man, he's a fat boy.

Harold
[talking to Arnold]
Look at me. I can barely lift my arms.

Harold
I'll take twelve of them.
Arnold
Harold, twelve low-fat Mr. Fudgies is the same as six Mr. Fudgies.

Harold
[yelling at ice-cream man]
Hey, my names not Tubby! It's Harold!

Wheezin' Ed

Helga

[Screaming]
Ahhh! It's wheezin' Ed! AHH!

Arnold
Brainy? What are you doing here?
Brainy
Um. wheeze Something.

Vic
[Upon seeing the Kids]
Hey, You punks! What do You think You're doing?
[Kids gasp]
Sid
[Screams]
It's Wheezin' Ed! And... and some other guy!

World Records

Phoebe
What did you think TSP stood for?
Sid
[With everyone looking at him]
Uh... ten square pounds?

Arnold
We broke the record for most attempts to get in the Book of World Records! They say we're the most determined neighborhood they've ever heard of.

Quotes from unidentified episodes

Grandpa

Sounds like young Arnold's got another one of his complex labyrinthine conundrums of a boyhood problem.

[Arnold steps up to bat]
Arnold
Wind's in the east. I should probably shoot for the gap between second and third.
Gerald
Just try not to get hit, okay?
Arnold
Yeah, good strategy.

Helga
Come on, come on.
Harold
Alright already. Keep your shirt on, Helga, for all our sakes.

Arnold
It's not insurmountable.
Gerald
Insurmountable? Man, you read too much.

Mr. Hyunh
How big was this punk?
Arnold
Big.
Mr. Hyunh
Big punk?
Grandpa
Oh, simmer down, you hot-headed loony!

Arnold
What's scat?
Grandpa
You know, scat. Droppings. Like what you're standing in.

Big Bob Pataki
Remember, we'll beat any advertised price. Unless it's lower.

[after Grandpa Phil gave him advice]
Arnold
Thanks, Grandpa.
Grandpa Phil
Sure, Arnold, anytime... Except next Wednesday at 3:30. I'm having a wart removed then.

Helga
Move it, football head!

[Censored Line as he is about to be denied entry of the Tunnel of Love]
Sid
What, because I'm short means I can't get no action!

Oskar Kokoshka
You keep the money.

Arnold
If you think about it, I know you'll do the right thing.

Harold
Whats the difference between a rump-roast and a butt steak?

Harold
Help me, mommy!

Eugene
I'm okay.

Eugene
Strained beets... Strained beets...

Helga
[says a poem]
Oh Arnold my love,
[Brainy's heavy breathing]
Helga knocks out Brainy

Gerald
You're a bold kid Arnold, a bold kid.

Helga
Ruth?! giggle Hewwo. My name's Wuth.

Helga
Doi!

Bossy girl
Mirror-mirror on the bus. Is she a geek, or one of us?...GEEK!

Grandpa
In out in out. Pig goes out the door then back in with mudd OUT! OUT! OUT!

Oskar
Kitty kitty kitty. Oh-so soft and pretty. Will you pet the kitty? Yes I will pet the kitty. Pet pet pet.

Grandpa
Hey, short man!

Grandma
Must rescue the missionary! On team!! ON team!!

Helga
Criminy! What is this crap?

Helga Pataki
C'mon Phoebe, let's go spit in the river.

Stinky
Helga, you're just too damn ornery.

Stinky
This Really Bites!

Grandpa
Morning, short-man!

Grandpa Phil
But I won't. I'll be... you know.
Gerald
No, you won't, Phil.
Grandpa Phil
Stop calling me Phil!

External links


Simple English

Hey Arnold! was an American animated television show on the Nickelodeon network. It was about a boy with a football-shaped head named Arnold, a bully, or mean girl named Helga who loved him, and their lives in Hillwood, a made up great town in the north like New York City, Chicago, or Seattle. Episodes of Hey Arnold! lasted for about 23 minutes each, and later on, Nickelodeon made a movie from it.








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