Homsar: Wikis


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(Redirected to List of Homestar Runner characters article)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is a list of fictional characters in the Flash web cartoon series Homestar Runner and episodic video game Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People.


Homestar Runner

Homestar Runner as seen in his character video.

Homestar Runner is the namesake character of the series, and "is a terrific athlete that everybody loves".[1] He serves as the star athlete of an unspecified sports team led by Coach Z[2], and has partaken in rather rigorous exercise routines.[3] Homestar however, has suffered from psychological issues that Strong Bad had described as an "unbelievably loose grasp on the world around [him]."[4], often forgetting things or interacting with himself as if he were a different person. Homestar is not completely stupid, as he has shown intelligence at rather irrelevant times, such as correctly stating Coulomb's law (although in response to being asked what 2+2 equals)[5] His best friend is Pom Pom,[6] although Homestar has also had an on and off relationship with lone female character Marzipan.

Strong Bad

Strong Sad

Strong Sad is the youngest brother of Strong Bad and Strong Mad. He stands somewhere between Strong Bad and Strong Mad in height, and has large, elephant-like feet he calls "soolnds," which has lead Strong Bad to believe he is in some way descended from elephants (see the cartoon "DNA Evidence"). His body is round and two shades of grey — a lighter grey from the waist up, a darker grey from the waist down. His head is white and has an odd lump on the top and resembles the Manicouagan Reservoir. Strong Bad refers to the lump as a "disturbing soft serve flip".(see email keep cool) He is usually very calm and soft-spoken, although is hyperactive when given caffeine (see the cartoon Caffeine.)

He is constantly tortured by Strong Bad. Strong Bad usually threatens to beat up Strong Sad (something that Strong Bad often does). Strong Bad also calls Strong Sad names such as "The Ghost of Christmas Suck", "Trundle Bed", "Diaper Stripe", and "Theloneus Dump".

In early cartoons, Strong Sad's main defining characteristic is his chronic depression, but has since been known to have high levels of intelligence and creativity . His many interests include listening, books, listening to books, calligraphy, safety, being alone, arts, crafts, and arts b/w crafts. Strong Sad also enjoys playing board games, and he seems to enjoy going to science-fiction and fantasy conventions, as seen in different town and TrogdorCon '97.

Strong Mad

Strong Mad is, as his name implies, strong and usually mad. He is the eldest brother of the brothers Strong; his siblings are Strong Bad and Strong Sad. He often hangs out with The Cheat and helps Strong Bad commit mischief, harass (and occasionally beat up) the other characters. His body shape is a perfect 6 foot tall, 3D rectangle, with perfectly square shoulders and no distinct head or neck. He has two dots for eyes, giant, bushy eyebrows that are usually angry. His mouth is always partially open revealing 3 teeth. He wears a blue wrestlers leotard with a white circle in the front containing a large red M and has red shoes. He generally speaks in short, simple sentences, often in an unrestrained roar. His best friend is The Cheat, whom he protects with fervor. He also has a horrible painting in his closet that gives everyone The Jibblies, called the Roculum.

The Cheat

The Cheat is Strong Bad's sidekick and Strong Mad's best friend. He stands at knee-height to most other characters and is covered with yellow fur with prominent black spots down his back. His arms resemble flippers and he doesn't have any visible legs. The Cheat lives in the The King of Town's grill which, according to Strong Sad, is a nice place. He can play the flute, as seen in The 200th Strong Bad e-mail (E-mail Thunder), and often makes unusual animations, such as "The Cheat Theme Song". In the original book, he helped Strong Bad cheat in the Strongest Man in the World contest, which gave him his name.

He speaks in a language consisting entirely of the word "meh", which the other characters seem to be perfectly able to understand. However, it is implied that he provides the voices for his "Powered by The Cheat" cartoons, which are spoken in English.

Strong Bad, while appreciative of his little henchman's assistance, seems to enjoy kicking The Cheat and otherwise abusing him.

In the video for The Cheat Theme Song, midway through the song it was shown that he resembles Pikachu, who flies past the screen.


Marzipan is the only female main character in Homestar Runner. She has a broom-shaped body with her face on the surface of the "handle". Her eyes consist of two black circles of two different sizes. Her mouth is usually seen in a slight curve. She wears her hair in a bright yellow ponytail, and is almost always seen wearing a purple dress embellished with white trim and gold buttons, along with a matching hair band. Like Homestar Runner, she does not appear to have visible arms. Nevertheless, she is still able to pick up and handle objects without any hint of difficulty; for example, she can play the guitar fairly well. She is voiced by Missy Palmer and is one of the few characters not voiced by Matt Chapman. The reason she is the only female character is because Missy Palmer cannot do any other voices.

Marzipan is Homestar's girlfriend (on her terms), and in the early days of the website was listed as the King of Town's daughter, however, in an interview, The Brothers Chaps remarked that this was an idea they had that they did not go through with. She is essentially a feminist "hippy chick" demonstrated in her traits of being a strict vegetarian who spends much of her time singing and playing her guitar; she is lead singer in a band called Cool Tapes. Most of her songs are about happiness and nature. She often makes protest signs to express her views on issues of varying and personal interest. She often tends to fight for political correctness and being eco-friendly, but at times can be hypocritical. This is demonstrated in one episode where she criticizes others for doing things that harm the environment, but justifies her own indulgent actions by simply renaming them to sound eco-friendly.


Bubs is a businessman who owns Bubs' Concession Stand, which offers a constantly changing variety of goods and services. He has a round blue head, mismatched eyes (his right eye is white with a blue iris while his left is simply a black dot), and a permanent toothy smile that moves when he talks. His upper body is orange, and he has "flipper arms." He has a green stripe around his middle which, according to Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People, is a belt, and his lower half is colored dark gray. His voice is reminiscent of Redd Foxx of Sanford and Son fame.

Always ready to make a quick buck, Bubs will sell anything, including letters off of the sign on his stand and Internet service. Besides the Concession Stand, he seems to run a few other businesses on the side, many of which are decidedly shady in nature. This includes performing almost any service that someone wants done, such as being a "questionable doctor", a "paranormal investigator" or a "normal investigator". It is implied that he is often involved in destroying and/or covering up evidence of crimes. He also sells bologna sandwiches from his truck to the other residents of Free Country, USA. His best friend appears to be Coach Z, although the coach often gets on his nerves. He is also the "Thnikkaman", though nobody (with the occasional exception of Homestar) knows that the Thnikkaman is just Bubs in "cool shades" with a piece of paper taped to his chest that says "TH". Whenever he enters, high-pitched singers singing "Here comes the Thnikkamaaannnn" can be heard. He then usually gives awful advice, and his catchphrase is "Shut up, kid." People love the Thnikkaman but it is not obvious why.

Coach Z

Coach Z is the "coach" of the residents of Free Country, USA, though it is unclear exactly which sports he coaches. He has a strong Upper Midwestern accent which sometimes gets him into trouble and is thought to be fake. He almost never says anything negative to anyone, and he often offers more encouragement than is needed. He wears a blue and purple baseball cap and a large gold "Z" emblem around his waist, but it is unclear whether his bright green color is his skin or a body suit.

In addition to frequent mispronunciations, Coach Z also seems to have mental and gender confusion problems, as evidenced by the time he spent "talking to his parents" on a disconnected telephone, and claiming to be a mother in the sbemail "garage sale". He has even stated on one occasion that he sometimes "forgets what's real, and what's just in [his] head". He also has trouble managing his money, causing his electricity to be shut off each year. He is quite lonely and has an unrequited crush on Marzipan, very often making inappropriate romantic gestures to her, especially on her answering machines.

He is very fond of hip-hop and often refers to it in conversation. He has also recorded several songs, including "These Peoples Try to Fade Me" and "Hip-Hop Dance". He also seems to not have much talent in rapping, since his "freestyling," occasionally consists exclusively him counting to two numerous times.

Pom Pom

Pom Pom is a Pom from the Isle of Pom. Pom Pom, like all Poms, appears to be inflated. His body consists of a yellow sphere with an orange stripe. His oval head, and triangular arms and feet are the same color orange. Pom Pom's eyes are black ovals and he has no visible mouth. He talks by making bubbly noises that only the characters can understand and can absorb objects into his body for storage. Pom Pom is Homestar Runner's best friend, but he sometimes hangs out with Strong Bad as well. Pom Pom is often seen talking on his cell phone to his many girlfriends, and he keeps track of their contact information in his Pom Pilot. It has been not-so-subtly hinted that Pom Pom is a superb athlete, martial artist, and rich to boot. His nationality has been vaguely hinted at a variety of times: his parents are known as Herr and Fräulein Pom. His father owns a film production company which allows Pom Pom to direct indie films.

The King of Town

The King of Town is the self-proclaimed ruler of Free Country, USA. His head is completely white, with black lines for eyes, a mustache and a beard (though it was suggested in the Strong Bad Email "diorama" that the white is fur or hair, as he has pink flesh underneath). He wears a gold crown and what appears to be a red robe with white trim with no arms. He is a known glutton that will eat almost anything in front of him (including toilet paper) and anything with the word "Butter" in its name (including "Butter-da", an automotive fluid). Apparently, the only foods he doesn't like are those which contain peas. He tends to speak with older but jolly tone of voice, usually saying: "doo hoo hoo hoo" to represent his hearty laughter. He apparently got overweight by eating the life time supply of fishsticks that was in the egg that contained The Cheat (As shown in the 100th Strong Bad Email, "flashback").

The Poopsmith

The Poopsmith is a character whose job is the King of Town's "poopsmith," though it is never explained what this actually entails. His body is peach-colored and egg-shaped, and he has small blue legs and feet, a white head, and an enormous underbite. He always wears a pair of large orange gloves stained with "Whatsit", and he is usually seen carrying a large shovel.

The Poopsmith had taken a vow of silence and, thus, never speaks. However, in "email thunder," the 200th Strong Bad Email, he breaks his vow to sing the opening song. At this time he is voiced by John Linnell of They Might be Giants. He does not seem to ever display any emotions or facial expressions. He does occasionally hold up signs to communicate, however. He is sometimes seen poking his shovel as a half-gesture.


Homsar is an energetic midget with red shoes, blue shirt and a bowler hat. He first appeared in the Strong Bad Email "homsar", where a user named Vinnie C. queried to Strong Bad about why he doesn't just kill "Homsar" (an obvious misspelling of Homestar) because he hates him. Strong Bad in response, went out to The Field, where Homsar was present, and then dropped a "Heavy Lourde" on him. He claims to be the captain of the "Gravy Train", and that his parents are a cup of coffee and a Chipwich. Homsar's speech consists almost entirely of non sequiturs, although it is revealed in Strong Badia the Free that Homsar is actually an intelligent being, with his way of speaking being a language of his own. He seems to have the super power of being incredibly awkward, and often defies the laws of physics. In most of his appearances, his hat will either change shape to something, or move around on its own, often times orbiting his head.


  1. ^ Chapman, Mike. The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest. Craig Zobel. http://www.homestarrunner.com/book1.html.  
  2. ^ (Flash) A Jorb Well Done. http://www.homestarrunner.com/cantsayjob.html. Retrieved September 20, 2009. "Once I finish my second run, you know, I'll have a smoothie or something, and then I head to the gym, and do, I've been doing about three sets of reps a piece, and then one..."  
  3. ^ (Flash) dullard. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail37.html. Retrieved September 20, 2009. "Once I finish my second run, you know, I'll have a smoothie or something, and then I head to the gym, and do, I've been doing about three sets of reps a piece, and then one..."  
  4. ^ (Flash) TrogdorCon '97. http://www.homestarrunner.com/trogdorcon.html. Retrieved September 20, 2009. "Hey, you got it! First try! Was it my star or propeller cap that gave it away?
    Strong Bad: It was your unbelievably loose grasp on the world around you."
  5. ^ (Flash) 4 branches. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail161.html. Retrieved September 20, 2009.  
  6. ^ (Flash) Pom Pom's character video. http://www.homestarrunner.com/vcr_pp.html. Retrieved September 20, 2009.  

See also

External links



Up to date as of January 14, 2010
(Redirected to Homestar Runner article)

From Wikiquote

Homestar Runner is a popular internet Flash series.

  • "Yes, Strong Bad, I ate Luigi. He tasted like mushrooms."
  • "What in Pete Sampras is going on here?!?"
  • "So kids, the moral of the story is 'Strong Sad doing Tai Chi is really, really funny'."
  • "Fugugrass."
  • Singing to the tune of The Neverending Story: "The blood is rushing to my head. Blacking out, blacking out, blacking out..." and also "Neverending so-oda. Ah Ah Aaah Ah Ah Aaah Ah Ah Aaah..."
  • "Seriously."
  • "Can you put this cow lamp back? We're running of of room in here. You won't get much for it anyway, it's not even a real cow."
  • (To a wagon filled with pancakes)"A wagon fulla pamcakes? In the champeenship?! I'd like to see ya try!"
  • "This does NOT look good for Homestar Runner."
  • (reading Strong Bad's e-mails) "Dear Strong Bad, what is your favorite leg? Jess and Tiff. (typing) Hey, Crapface! Why don'tcha go blow it out your ear! (sweetly) Your buddy, Strong Bad."
  • "Whoa, Pom Pom! Let's tone down the language before the contest, huh?"
  • "Hey, Strong Bad, check out my Strong Sad impression. Ahem,(with Strong Sad's voice) I turned them all over to Twelve-Times-A-Day-Man!"
  • "Hey, Twelve Times A Day Man, You gonna eat all them Twizzlers? (he pronounces "Twizzlers" as "Tweezlérs")"
  • "Making out with Marzipan is totally awesome!"
  • "Do you has what it takes to serve the Homestarmy? Will you bring me a sack lunch and some orange slices and serve your country? Will you, stupid?!"
  • "(after failing to pronounce "powder" right) I've got twouble with my aw's!"
  • "I hate that fweaking mawshmawwow."
  • "Hey, Stwong Bad, wook what I can do. Ahem. Toons! Games! Email!" (a boat sails by, a whale with harpoon wounds and a plane with a banner saying "WEAR A BIKINI!" appear in that order)
  • "Aww, man. I thought you were Bill Cosby."
  • "Sonic. I mean Tails."


Strong Bad

  • "Holy crap!"
  • (to The Cheat) "We had that light switch installed so you can turn the lights on and off... NOT so you could throw light switch raves!"
  • (Sung) "I said come on Fhqwhgads, come on Fhqwhgads! Everybody to the limit, everybody to the limit, everybody come on Fhqwhgads!"
  • (to The Cheat)"Man, is there anything potatoes can't do?"
  • "Lemme cut to the chase."
  • (Sung) "You never seen anything, quite like these buttons! Come on, y'all, give me a little scroll lovin'!"
  • (Chuckles) "I'm charming."
  • "You gotta be kiddin' me! I'm the only one who wears any pants!?"
  • "(on the news channel) Today's forecast is total crap!"
  • "(singing) Holy, holy, holy, holy, holy crap! (ding)"
  • "Lappy, this is The Paper. He lets me know when I've stopped being funny!"
  • "I thought I knew what ridiculous was, until this day."
  • "With Marzipan's radish, we gonna win the competition!"
  • "Well look who thinks he's clever Dan."
  • "The system is down, yo."
  • "Somebody get this freaking duck away from me!"
  • "And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!"
  • "(singing) Population... tiiiiire..."
  • "(reading an e-mail) Dear Strong Bad, I have recently been wondering about the origin of The Stick. Has it always been a good place for hanging out and making rendezvous..ses? Luke, Eau Claire, WI (he pronounces the last bit as "Eww, Claire! Why!?")
  • "(reading his e-mail) "I love you. fhqwhgadshgnsdhjsdbkhsdabkfabkveybvf..." Look, fhqwhgadshg... can I just call you "Fhqwhgads?"
  • "DELETED!"
  • "It's like Squeedly VS Meedly over here. Go, Squeedly!"
  • (as a parody of his old self) "When it comes to the ladies, I've got no COMPETITION!!! (quietly) Holy crap."
  • "Señor Havin' A Little Trouble and Mr. Bland were by far the most popular characters. {a red Stand falls on them with a splurt!} Then, they were crushed by a falling Bubs' Concession Stand."
  • "Teen Girl Squad! Cheerleader! So and So! What's Her Face! The Ugly One!"
  • "El Deleto Grandé!"
  • "Look, for the last time, I'm not the Spanish Inquisition, I'm not Cab Calloway, and I'm not Strong Bad wearing a yellow turtleneck. I'M CARMEN FREAKIN' SANDIEGO!"
  • So that's when I realized I don't even need lamaze classes.
  • Creeping rusty meat. Truly the heart and soul of all death metal.
  • STINY! Get me a danish!
  • I think my imagination's broke. Let me try and think up the best thing ever. Umm...beef...stew. Yep, it's busted alright.
  • The Paper! No! Why do all my 30-year-old electronics keep breaking on me?!
  • (responding to over 400,000 viruses) Computer over? Virus equals very yes? THAT'S NOT A GOOD PRIZE!? (compy leaks compy fluid) ... and compy just, peed the carpet.
  • I'm scrollin up high! I'm scrollin down low, I'm always late to school because your mom drives slow! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!
  • It was good but, I don't think it deserved a trophy, I don't even think it deserved a pizza... maybe a pizza trophy.
  • (responding to a grammatically incorrect email) Oooohh! Well why don't you creat an alternate universe, where you don't have to spell correctly! And your name is Watered Down!!... AND I TALK LIKE THIS!
  • BOOOOSH! The double deuce!
  • Wait! Are you referring to the time that me and the Cheat both drank a bottle of soy sauce and tried to fly Bubs' concession stand to the moon? (to the cheat) C'mon the Cheat, we're gonna fly this thing to the mooooooooon!
  • OH! You must be referring to the time that me and the Cheat both drank TWO bottles of soy sauce and THEN tried to fly Bubs' concession stand to the moon.
  • Don't you find it interesting that there's only a one letter difference between Garage- Sale, and Garbage- Sale?
  • (scatting the T-Mobile theme with a rocket launcher in a theatre) Ni-ni-ni-nii-N-n-ni-ni DIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!
  • Butt's twelve by pies?

Coach Z

  • "Doot-doo-doot-doo, an' I'll drink up all the Hennessy ya got on your shelf, but first let me introduce myself. My name is Coach Z. Pronounced with an "oach Z.""
  • "I think I'm gonna puke my pants!"
  • "You say tomater, I zader matermorts."
  • (as a baby) "I'm pretending i'm the craptin of the fortball torm."
  • "Oh, I guess I forgot to port!"
  • "Oh, I guess I forgot to prat!"
  • "Oh, Gorka fa Pork!"
  • "Great jorb, Ramrod!"
  • "Once again, I place the blame squarely on tight pants."
  • "Great jorb Homestar!"
  • (after Strong Bad questions whether he's green or if he wears footy pajamas) "Oh, I've got footies all right- airthlete's footies.
  • "Bruce Jenner's tube socks!!"
  • "You was tryin' ta jenk me!"
  • "The King's gone mad with power! He's gonna eat The Chort!"
  • "Jaerb... !"
  • Once again, Biscuitdoughhandsman slips through our fingers.


  • "Shinin' up a chicken in the mo'nin', mo'nin'."
  • "Hey, Coach! Tell her I said, 'Hey!' No, no, just--Tell her I said, 'Bananas!' Tell her I said, 'A bluh-buncha bananas.'"
  • "Grabbing your butt? That's not very lady-like."
  • As the Thnikkaman: "Yeah, shut up, kid."
  • "If I had thumbs, I'd be sticking' 'em up my armpits right now!"
  • "Come back, chocolates! I didn't mean what I said!"
  • "Hey there, everypeoples!"
  • "Coach, are you accusing yourself of being the Thnikkaman?"
  • "There was this one time when I hooked my lawnmower up to my Nintendo. And after that, I got the high score every time!"
  • "Discount will not be honored!"
  • I'm afraid you've got no pancreas. But I do happen to have a fresh one for sale right here!

The King of Town

  • "Hello, my loyal subjects. I am the King of Town. Please remain standing while I finish my speech and consume the contents of this bowl. Now, despite rumors to the contrary, I did not just buy a crown at the costume palace and ask people to start calling me the King of Town. I earned my title the same way I earned a free combo meal: by purchasing one of equal or lesser value. I also did not ever try to eat my own moustache. I live in yon castle, and employ a Poopsmith for reasons I don't care to disclose. And furthermore, now I'm going to eat this bowl of corn dog batter."
  • "This stuff is strong enough for a man, but tasty enough for a king!"
  • "Mmm! This is some good cake!"
  • "(referring to his very own, quite popular cartoon show) For reals this time!"
  • "Oh yeah. [My sheep] were delicious."
  • "MMMMMmmmmm! A stick of butter!!"
  • "Honor. Valor. Buttor."


  • "Alms for the pudgy? Alms for the pudgy?"
  • "AAAaaaAAh'm the human wedgie!"
  • "I was raised by a cup of coffee."
  • "Let's sing a song of Pennzoil!"
  • "Carmel corn for president please."
  • "Don't look now... I'm just a friendly reminder."
  • "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Hi, Wonder Mike! I'm Homsar! The captain of the gravy train."
  • (Dressed up as Captain Caveman for Halloween) "I'm the Captain Caveman of the graveyard train!"
  • (as a perfect replica of strong sad) "I'm crying on the inside."
  • (reffering to the letter G)"I'm not gonna lie to you, that's a healthy piece of real estate."
  • "Oh no! I think this is my favorite!"
  • "You're a real state trooper."
  • "AaaAAAaaaAHH!! I'm a song from the sixties!"
  • "AaAaAh'm cryin' on the inside..."
  • "Aaah, these easter pants are gettin' way too tight.
  • "OoOooh No! You shanked my jengaship!
  • "Hey Tubbs! I lost my jengajam!
  • "AaAaAaAaA! Don't count on it, monster may-an!"
  • "Kelllllseyyyy Grammmmmerrrrr!"
  • "AaAaAa! I'm the original ladies' man."
  • "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Think I won the powerball."
  • (to Strong Bad) "AaAaAaAaAaAaA! Hey Reggie! Is that rhinoceros around?"
  • "It's time for tasteball!"
  • "My name's Millions, and I'm the son of a chipwhich!
  • "Legitimate business!"
  • "Well hello, chocolate cake!"
  • "Uhdyeah, what eez it, Sturong Baayud?"
  • "Step right up--I'm a crudely-drawn cupcake!"
  • "Don't forget your tapesicle!"
  • "Ah'm the ghost of Christmas pay-ust."
  • "Here comes the yogurt patrol!"
  • "I'm just in time for the murder mystery!"

Other characters

  • Vector Strong Bad: "YOUR HEAD A SPLODE"
  • The Ugly One: "Ow! My skin!"
  • Compy 386: "You killed the Bad Graphics Ghost. Now Strong Sad will sing you a scary song."
  • Marshie: Boogety boogety! I'll scare your dad!
  • Senor Cardgage: Dump tell no Mandy--it's just a landmower turned bankways!
  • Powered by The Cheat Strong Sad: I'm saaaad that I'm flying.
  • 1-Up: (walks in wearing a gross old wig) Stinkoman, look at this gross old wig I found in a time box!
  • Powered by The Cheat Bubs: Hey, Strong Bad. You just jumped over some of my buses.
  • Senor Cardgage: Oh... I should eat a pony...
  • Marshie: I'M AN ABOMINATION!!! And I'm comin' to your house after school...
  • Crack Stuntman: Blaaargh! What can I get for you fine gentlemen?
  • What's Her Face: When you fall into a bottomless pit, you die of starvation.
  • Old-Timey Strong Bad: And for my next parlour trick, I shan't make anything appear! (Present Strong Bad appears out of nowhere)
  • Stinkoman: Correct me if I am wrong, but are you asking for a CHALLEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGE!!!!!?!??
  • Senor Cardgage: Carrageenan, Monteljohn. Can you detect me to the nearest bus stamp?


[The Cheat and Marzipan are on a date]
Strong Bad: [Impersonating an Italian chef] Oh-a, it's a me-a, the chef-a! A-which-a one o' you guys ordered the smack in the face-a?
Marzipan: I thought this was a French restaurant.
Strong Bad: [Drops accent] Oh. Umm... uh... S-snails?
Marzipan: Come on, T.C., let's blow this marshmallow stand.
Strong Bad: Yeah, you know, I didn't really research this role...

Strong Bad: At this point, the test subject... was dead.
Strong Sad: I was not dead!
Strong Bad: Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion... Strong Sad's adopted.
Strong Sad: That's not true either!

[Homestar is prompted to give a Reagan impression]
Homestar: Well... well... Nancy and I... economics... well... rap music... jellybeans... well... we probably had a pet...
Bubs: That's the worst Ronald Reagan impression I've ever heard!
Homestar: Ronald Reagan? I was doing my Keanu Reagan!

[Coach Z and Bubs have swapped heads at the hands of Strong Bad.]
Zubs(Bubs' head): You better find him quick! This crap ain't funny!
Coach B(Coach Z's head): I'd be hard pressed to do anything quick in this train wreck. What've ya, been eatin' concrete?
Zubs: Least I don't have no clown feet. I can hardly walk in these things!

Homestar: Welcome to Homestarrunner.net.
Cherry Greg: It's dot com.
Homestar: Oh, right. Homestarrunner.net. "It's dot com!"

[Strong Bad's computer explodes, flinging him through a wall into Strong Sad's room and through one of Strong Sad's posters]
Strong Sad: Oh, geez! Are you okay?
Strong Bad: Wha- yeah- no, I'm fine! Nothing happened, I'm fine!
Strong Sad: Did your terrible computer explode?
Strong Bad: No, shut up! Look, I'm gonna need to borrow, like, $900.
Strong Sad: Well, I hope that's for a new computer. You could get one like yours at a garage sale for like $15.
Strong Bad: I said shut up! I liked that computer.
Strong Sad: I hope some of that money's for buying me a new poster. You don't seem too broken up about that.

[Strong Sad is high on caffeine and is somehow suspended from the ceiling]
Strong Mad: GET DOWN!
Strong Sad: No!
Strong Mad: GET DOWN!!
Strong Sad: No, no! Parakeet!
Strong Mad: [surprised; very distinctly] Did you just say, "parakeet"?

Homsar: Daaah! You shanked my Jengaship!
Strong Sad: I shanked your Jengaship? We're playing Connect Four.

Strong Sad: Uh, okay Homestar. Then what's two plus two?
Homestar Runner: Well, {speaking quickly} the force between any two charges is equal to the absolute value of the multiple of the charges— {cut to a closeup; computer-type noises begin playing in the background} —divided by 4 pi times the vacuum permittivity times the distance squared between the two charges.
Strong Sad: No, no, no, stupid! That's Coulomb's law.
Homestar Runner: Oh, right, sorry! Two plus two? That's easy. Twenty-two.

[Strong Bad wants to interview Homestar Runner]
Strong Bad: What the crap were you doing out there?
Homestar Runner: Out where?
Strong Bad: Outside! I watched prance by about five times man.
Homestar Runner: Oh, I doubt it, I drove.
Strong Bad: You don't own a car.
Homestar Runner: Yeah, you're probably right.
Strong Bad: Okay, let's get down to brass tacks.
Homestar Runner: Oh I didn't bring any, I drove.
Strong Bad: Oh, this is going to be painful.
Homestar Runner: The tacks? I bet, try not to sit on them.

{Strong Bad is commenting at Pom Pom, who is dress up as Walter Sobchak}
Strong Bad: So, what, Pom Pom? You're every guy at a truck stop?
Homestar Runner: Uh oh, Strong Bad.
{Pom Pom produces a gun.}
Homestar Runner You're entering a world of pain.

[Strong Bad is writing a fan fiction about the King of Town]
Strong Bad: [imitating the King of Town] "I can't believe I ate that entire pile of whatsit! Said the King of Town"
King of Town: I wish that were fiction...

Announcer: (singing. As he says this, an emblem shaped like the King of Town appears on screen) The King of Town's Very Own! Quite Popular Cartoon Show! The King! Of Town's Very Own! Quite Popular Cartoon Show!
King of Town: Let the king have some!
Announcer: (quickly) The King Of Town's Very Popular Cartoon Show will not be seen this week. Instead, we bring you Strong Bad's Very Popular Cartoon Show, already in progress.
[cut to Strong Bad on the Lappy, reading an e-mail]
Strong Bad: --rong Bad...

[Homestar Runner and PomPom are in the field}
Homestar Runner: Oh, man. My pants got so poofed away at the prom this year. So I was wearing all these types of long pants, and then they all just got poofed away. So embarrassing. [PomPom makes annoyed bubbling noises] Well, maybe I will keep telling myself that!

Gunhaver: Put your pants back on, Blue Laser!

(Coach Z is holding a pear covered with eyeballs, as black coffee streams down his mouthless face. Homestar appears and talks in an imitation of backwards speech. Subtitles accompany his dialogue)
Homestar Runner: Coach Z, if you're not going to eat that eyeball pear... (clears throat. His voice returns to normal, and the subtitles disappear) I suggest you give it to someone who will.
Coach Z: I don't know what's going on, Homestar... (sniff) but I'm not at liberty to discuss what I just did in my pants!

Strong Bad: (to Homsar) Get out of my house!"
Homsar (sadly) I do what I'm told...

Stinkoman: Hey, guys! How's challenges?
Vector Strong Bad: WHAT IS IT, MY DOGE?
Strong Bad: Whoa, you two know each other?
Stinkoman: Oh, totally sure! He's my training simulator!

Senor Cardgage: Let the little children go...

Strong Sad: There needs to be a better word for "weird".
Strong Mad: (chasing The Cheat, who has stolen his underwear) MY PANTIES! MY PANTIES!
Strong Sad: (reacting to the previous) OK, I'm moving out.

Cheerleader: (wearing an elephant mask) So good, or no good?
So and So and The Ugly One: No good!
Chearleader: Well, I think it's hella tight. And you guys need boyfriends.
So and So and The Ugly One: That's true.

Dinosaur: (kicks What's-Her-Face away) Punt!
What's Her Face: Dag, yo.

Strong Sad: (enters the room) Strong Bad, what is going on? (a virus has disconnected his head from his body and turned it into an emoticon)
Strong Bad: Waah! I don't know, you forgot to wear your neck!?
Strong Sad: Have you been using the internet irresponsibly?
Strong Bad: No more irresponsibly than usual.
Strong Sad: Did you get a virus?
Strong Bad: (guiltfully) Uhh, No.
Strong Sad: Did you get 400,000 viruses?
Strong Bad: (submissively) Yes..VERY yes!!
Strong Sad: Well hurry up and do something about it before it gets worse.

Strong Bad: (reading an e-mail) "Strong Bad, My sister and me think you are so cool. Do you have a girlfriend? There is two of us. Yours, Ali." (quietly) Oh, there's two of them! (typing, speaking suavely) Well, Ali, there's one of me--
Tandy 400: DELETED!!!
Strong Bad: (still speaking suavely) Deleted--DELETED!? WHAT!? OY, WHAT HAPPENED?


Strong Bad: (reading an e-mail) "Hi, Strong Bad! If you hate Homsar so much, why don't you kill him? From Vinnie C." You know what, Vinnie? You're right. I'll be right back. (he walks out into The Field and sees Homsar) Hey, Homsar!
Homsar: (turns around) Uhdyeah, what eez it, Strong Baayd? (out of nowhere, Strong Bad drops a weight on him)
Strong Bad: Ah, thanks Vinnie! That felt so much better.

Crack Stuntman: (stuck inside a box) Anyone? Chimendez? Guy who does the bad guy's voice?
Crack Stuntman: Uh... never mind.

Strong Bad: What am I supposed to do with all these leftover marshmallows? I bought, like, over 400 pounds!
King of Town: Excuse me, but did I just hear you say "leftovers"?

Singers: Polymascotfoamalate!
The Homestar Runner: Feed it to the babies.
Singers: Polymascotfoamalate!
Old-Timey Strong Bad: Or as a topping on sour cream!

Stinkoman: What is that! WHAT IS THAT!? Some kind of robot!?
The Homestar Runner: What's a robit?
Stinkoman: You don't know what a robot is? HAHAHAHA! YOU ARE SO DUMB! HAHAHA! Dumb!
The Homestar Runner: Oh, go soak your fat head.
Stinkoman: ARE YOU ASKING FOR A CHALLEEEEEENGE!!!? (powers up)
The Homestar Runner: Yessir, yessir I am.

Strong Bad: My computer's been Lappynapped!
Marshie: (appears out of nowhere) Hello, Kenneth!! Here me roooar! Grr... meow.

Larry: Congratulations Strong Bad on your 100th e-mail! (silence) WE'RE FROM THE BAND LIMOZEEN!!
Perry: Uh, I think it says that at the top of the screen, Larry.

Strong Bad: (singing) Join me on MY single--
Strong Sad: Hundred--
Strong Bad: Toilet dreams picture... everybody wanna scam some sweet bucks or potential
Little Strong Bad: Pizza!
Strong Bad: Oh! Oh! Um, nevermind. Umm... double--
Coach Z: --Pants.

Homestar Runner: Hey, Stinkoman...
Strong Bad: D-did you just call me Stinkoman?

Intercom: And lunch today will be a breadtangle of pizza. Don't forget the Battle of the Bands this Friday. Tompkins, point your rear end in the direction of the principal's office.
Tompkins: Aww, peas!
Cheerleader: Did you hear that?
What's Her Face: Pizza belongs in a triangle!

Homestar Runner: I have come to the conclusion that the king's sheep wewe not eaten by a dragon.
King of Town: Phew...
Homestar Runner: But they were eaten!
King of Town: Oh, no! Who could have done such a thing?
Homestar Runner: Why don't you ask yourself, king?
King of Town: Oh, yeah. They were delicious.

King of Town: (dressed as Hagar the Horrible) Trick or treat! I'm horrible!
Strong Bad: You've got that right!

The Homestar Runner: Guess what I read in the newspapper today?
Old-Timey Marzipan: (sadly) I can't guess.
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost.
Old-Timey Marzipan: You read that a ghost what?
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost is.
Old-Timey Marzipan: You read that a ghost is what?
The Homestar Runner: I read that a ghost is in town and they're offering a 27-cent reward for it.

Strong Sad: That's it! We're ready!
Strong Bad: All right! ...Well, where are they?
Strong Sad: Where are who?
Strong Bad: Well, I thought this much gelatin would sorta naturally attract oiled up bikini wrestlers.
Homestar Runner: I thought it would naturally attract oiled-up Bill Cosby!

Powered by The Cheat Homestar: Hey, Strong Bad. I need you to kick me in the face.
PBTC Strong Bad: I CAN DO IT. I WILL DO IT NINE TIMES. (kicks Homestar in the face nine times)
PBTC Homestar: This is the--
PBTC Strong Bad: Shut it up. Shut it up, you. (The Cheat walks by) Here, The Cheat. Have a trophy.
PBTC Homestar: Here, have another trophy. (Strong Bad kicks him)
PBTC Strong Bad: I was saving that one for about two seconds ago.
PBTC Homestar: Perfect. Timing.
PBTC Coach Z: (falls from the sky) Here, The Chort. Have a trophy.
All: Three trophies for The Chort/The Cheat.
PBTC Eh! Steve!: Eh. Steve.

  • Rumble Red: But earthling, they don't have Polymascotfoamalate on my planet, eh... Rumble?
  • The Homestar Runner: That's 'cause you're a communist fool, Red. (Pronounces "Communist" as "Comminist")
  • (to strongbadman) Strongbad:That's it? That's your evil plan? To waste water?

Strongbadman: AND NOT PAY FOR IT!

Strong Bad: (pointing at a chalkboard) FHQWHGADS.
Strong Bad: Say it with a flourish. FHQWHGADS.
Strong Bad: It doesn't sound like it looks. FHQWHGADS!
Strong Bad: Coach Z, I thought I asked you to leave like an hour ago.
Strong Mad: DOUGLASS!!!
Strong Bad: Whoa! We've had a breakthrough! You get a gold star.

Strong Bad on the radio: And I will never ever ever ever ever write a song about Sibbie.
Radio announcer: And coming in at number four that was Strong Bad with "Song About Sibbie!"
Strong Bad: I didn't write a song about Sibbie! The Cheat just started playing some beat, I-I mean I wasn't even - I didn't mean to - it was never my intention to - oh I freakin' hate Sibbie!!!
Radio announcer: And debuting at number three it's Strong Bad with "I Freakin' Hate Sibbie!"
Strong Bad on the radio: I freakin' hate Sibbie --
Strong Bad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (smashes the radio)
Homestar: Thanks man. I'd just about had it with that talking toaster.


Homestar: Let's see. Who's good in the field? ...Ooh, I'll take Pom Pom! Why, he hasn't been snatched up yet.
Strong Bad: Ummmm, but you just-
Homestar: Uh-uh-uh, too late! I called him! You'll just have to be quicker next time.
Strong Bad: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...kay. I got Bubs.
Strong Mad: WHAT DA CRAAAAAAAAAP??!?!!??!?!!
Pom Pom: (quiet bubble noises)
Homestar: (Quietly) Yeah, yeah, good call. He's got a great arm. (Loudly) We'll take Pom Pom.
Strong Bad: We're surprised. Alright, Graw Mad, get over here.
Strong Mad: (To the tune of A Quick One While He's Away) Yooouuuu arrrre... forgiiiiiiiveeeeeeen....

Marzipan: This keeps teetering between hilarious and "maybe-we-should-put-him-in-a-home."
Strong Sad: And... what wouldn't be hilarious about that?

Homestar: Two outs, bottom of the ninth, down by two. Strong Bad has a chance to win it, right here, right now. It doesn't g—
Strong Bad: Just pitch the freaking ball!
Homestar: Coming up...

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