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How I Met Your Mother
Howimetyourmother.jpg
Title card
Format Sitcom
Created by Carter Bays
Craig Thomas
Starring Josh Radnor
Jason Segel
Cobie Smulders
Neil Patrick Harris
Alyson Hannigan
Narrated by Bob Saget (uncredited)
Opening theme "Hey Beautiful" by The Solids
Country of origin  United States
Language(s) English
No. of seasons 5
No. of episodes 105 (List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Carter Bays
Pamela Fryman
Rob Greenberg
Craig Thomas
Camera setup Multi-camera
Running time 20-22 minutes
Broadcast
Original channel CBS
Picture format 480i (4:3 SDTV)
1080i (16:9 HDTV)
Original run September 19, 2005 (2005-09-19) – present
.How I Met Your Mother is an American sitcom that premiered on CBS on September 19, 2005.[1] The show was created by Craig Thomas and Carter Bays.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

As a framing device, the main character, Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor,[2] with narration by Bob Saget), in the year 2030 recounts to his son and daughter the events that led to his meeting their mother, which explains the title and allows for a narration in the past tense. .How I Met Your Mother's other main characters are Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel), Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders), Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris), and Lily Aldrin (Alyson Hannigan).^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

[2] The show was recently renewed for a sixth season.[3]

Contents

Production

.Inspired by the idea "let's write about our friends and the stupid stuff we did in New York,"[4] How I Met Your Mother is Bays' and Thomas' idea.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

The two drew from their friendship in creating the characters, with Ted based loosely on Bays, and Marshall and Lily based loosely on Thomas and his wife.[5] Thomas' wife Rebecca was initially reluctant to have a character based on her, but only agreed if they could get Alyson Hannigan to play her. Fortunately, Hannigan was available, and was looking to do more comedy work.[5]
The bar "MacLaren's", in which some of the show is set, is based on a bar in New York City called McGee's.[6] It has a mural that Carter Bays and Craig Thomas both liked and wanted to incorporate into the show.[7] The name for the bar is from Carter Bays' assistant Carl MacLaren; the bartender in the show is also called Carl.[8]
Usually each episode is shot over three days, where most other sitcoms are typically shot in a single day, and features upwards of 50 scenes an episode. The show uses a laugh track and flashbacks frequently featured in the story. The laugh track is later created by recording an audience being shown the final edited episode. Due to the larger scope of the show, co-creator Thomas claims that shooting in front of a live audience would be impossible, and doing so "would blur the line between 'audience' and 'hostage situation'".[9]
The theme song is a portion of "Hey Beautiful" by The Solids, of which Bays and Thomas are members. Episodes from the first season generally started with the opening credits. A cold opening has been used since season two. .Viewers then occasionally see Ted's children on a couch and hear him talking to them, telling the story of how he met their mother.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

Alternatively, scenes from previous shows or shots of New York City with Ted narrating over the top are shown. Thomas has explicitly said that Future Ted is an unreliable narrator.[10] A scene directly relating to the identity of the mother, involving Ted's future children, was filmed near the beginning of season two for the show's eventual series finale.[11]
During the 2007–2008 Writers Guild of America strike, How I Met Your Mother shut down production, but once the strike ended the show returned on March 17, 2008, with 9 new episodes.[12] A change in timeslot was also announced, to 8:30 ET/7:30 CT, flip-flopping from the summer schedule with The Big Bang Theory.[13] The show was renewed for a fourth season by CBS on May 14, 2008,[14] which premiered on September 22, 2008.[15]
In September 2008, it was announced that Lifetime Television purchased the right to rerun How I Met Your Mother at a rate of about $725,000 per episode.[16] As part of the agreement, the four-year syndication contract stipulates that the studio will deliver 110 half-hour episodes by the year 2010. At the end of the fourth season only 88 episodes had been produced. Therefore, under the syndication deal, the studio is obligated to deliver at least 22 more episodes, ensuring there would be a fifth season.[17] On May 19, 2009, the fifth-season renewal was announced.[18] .On May 20, 2009, CBS announced that How I Met Your Mother would move back to 8pm, leading into the new comedy, Accidentally on Purpose.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

On January 12th, 2010, the show hit the milestone of its 100th episode. The show is currently in its fifth season, and it was announced that the series had been renewed for a sixth season on CBS.[19]

Cast

Main characters

Recurring characters

While Lyndsy Fonseca and David Henrie have appeared in the show since the pilot, no new footage was filmed after the season 2 episode Where Were We?. They are still credited when the archive footage is used.

Plot

Season One

.In the year 2030, Ted Mosby (voiced by Bob Saget) sits his daughter and son down to tell them the story of how he met their mother.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother .
  • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

The story begins in 2005 with Ted (Josh Radnor) as a single, 27-year-old architect living with his two best friends from college; Marshall Eriksen (Jason Segel), a law student, and Lily Aldrin (Alyson Hannigan), a kindergarten teacher, who have been dating for almost nine years when Marshall proposes. Their engagement causes Ted to think about marriage and finding his soul mate, much to the disgust of his self-appointed best friend Barney Stinson (Neil Patrick Harris) whom he met in a bathroom after a night of drinks. Barney is known as a womanizer with an unnamed corporate job.
Ted begins his search for his perfect mate and meets an ambitious young reporter, Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders), whom he quickly falls in love with. Robin, however, doesn't want to rush into a relationship and the two decide to be friends. Future Ted reveals that Robin is not the mother after referring to her as his children's "Aunt Robin".
Ted begins dating a baker, Victoria, whom he meets at a wedding, causing Robin to become jealous and realize she does have feelings for him. Victoria moves to Germany for a culinary fellowship, and she and Ted try a long-distance relationship. Once Ted learns Robin has feelings for him, he tells her that he has broken up with Victoria, even though he hasn't. They almost have sex when Victoria calls and Robin answers by mistake. Ted and Victoria then break up and Robin becomes mad at Ted, but they eventually make up and decide to date.
Meanwhile, Lily begins to wonder if she's missed any opportunities because of her relationship with Marshall, and decides to pursue an art fellowship in San Francisco, breaking up with Marshall in the process. The season ends with Ted coming back to the apartment, the morning after spending the night with Robin for the first time, to find Marshall sitting in the rain with Lily's engagement ring.

Season Two

Ted and Robin are now a couple, and a heartbroken Marshall tries to continue his life without Lily. Realizing she is not an artist, Lily returns to New York. She is reunited with Marshall, and the season culminates in their marriage. Barney loses a "slap bet," which permits Marshall to slap him in the face five times at any given time in the future, whenever Marshall chooses, which he does twice during this season. It is revealed that Barney has a gay, black brother (Wayne Brady). Barney believes that Bob Barker is his father and takes a trip to California to be a contestant on The Price is Right. Everyone discovers Robin was a Canadian teen pop star in the early 90s, with a hit single "Let's Go To The Mall". The music video is viewed by Barney hundreds of times.
In the season finale, Ted reveals to Barney that he and Robin have been broken up for some time due to their conflicting views on marriage. They didn't tell anyone in order to avoid taking attention away from Lily and Marshall's wedding. The season ends with Barney excited at the prospect of Ted and himself being single guys on the town again.

Season Three

Robin returns from a trip to Argentina and Ted must adjust to life as just her friend. Marshall and Lily decide to move out on their own, falling in love with a place they can't afford. Marshall learns of Lily's bad credit rating due to her compulsive shopping. Despite this, they are able to finally secure their dream apartment, only to discover it's in a bad location and more poorly constructed than they thought. Barney is slapped for the third time on Thanksgiving, which Marshall dubs "Slapsgiving."
Ted tells his children that he met their mother through a story with her yellow umbrella. He finds the umbrella at a club and takes home after attending a St. Patrick's Day party where his future wife was, although they did not meet. Ted attempts to woo Stella (Sarah Chalke), a dermatologist he sees to remove an embarrassing tattoo. This culminates in a memorable "two-minute date," which incorporates small talk, dinner, a movie, coffee, two cab rides, and a goodnight kiss, all within two minutes. Robin sleeps with Barney after he comforts her following a break-up, which is followed by Ted's disapproval and decision to stop being friends with Barney. Meanwhile, an unknown woman begins to sabotage Barney's attempts to hook up. His saboteur is revealed to be Abby (Britney Spears), Stella's receptionist, with a vendetta against him for not calling her after they had sex.
In the season finale, after Ted and Barney get into separate car accidents and end up in the hospital, they renew their friendship. It is revealed that Barney has true feelings for Robin, while Ted proposes to Stella.

Season Four

Stella says "yes" to Ted's proposal. Robin takes a new job in Japan, but quickly resigns, returning to New York to attend Ted's wedding. Stella leaves Ted at the altar to get back together with the father of her daughter, Tony. Barney struggles with his feelings for Robin as his company shifts him to the management team of a new acquisition, Goliath National Bank (GNB).
Marshall and Lily move to their new apartment and debate over whether or not they're ready to have children. Robin becomes roommates with Ted and gets a job as an anchor for a 4:00 A.M. news show after Barney sends out her video resume. Ted finds out about Barney's feelings for Robin when Ted and Robin sleep together constantly so they won't fight over each others bad co-living habits.
Ted finds out Lily has sabotaged all of his relationships with anyone she doesn't approve of and indirectly may have inspired his breakup with Robin. Robin and Ted end up talking about it, causing their friendship to begin moving towards a positive note. As Barney finally sleeps with his 200th woman, after rubbing it in the face of the childhood bully that taunted him into pursuing it, he questions what the rest of his life would be about now, leaving him more certain of his feelings for Robin.
Ted, while carrying the yellow umbrella, bumps into Stella and Tony. Tony later decides to visit him, sympathizing with Ted over his loss of Stella. Tony offers him a job as a professor of architecture, which Ted initially turns down. Lily abandons the group and disappears for four weeks after hearing a dirty joke from Barney.
In the season finale, Robin finds out about Barney's love for her, which she cautiously reciprocates. Ted decides he is done being an architect and finally decides to instead teach architecture classes. The finale ends with Ted stating that he met the mother in one of his classes.

Season Five

Ted starts his first day as an architecture professor, standing in the middle of a classroom - although the mother was present, it turns out not to be the architecture class he is supposed to teach. Barney and Robin have had a sexual relationship throughout the summer and Lily locks them in a room, forcing them to come to terms with their relationship. After a rough patch they decide to break up. Robin describes it instead as "two friends getting back together." Barney immediately goes back to his old ways, using the playbook to score with women. Ted dates a graduate student named Cindy (Rachel Bilson) and it is revealed that her roommate is his future wife.

Tie-ins

Books

  • The Bro Code: stated by Barney many times throughout the series, is a set of written rules for bros to follow, and has been published as a tie-in novel and also an audiobook.[20] Barney alleges it was written by Barnabus Stinson, a contemporary of George Washington and Benjamin Franklin (and assumed relative of Barney).
  • Bro on the Go: a companion to The Bro Code, released in 2009.[21]

Websites

  • Barney's Blog — Throughout the series, Barney makes references to his blog. In real life it is hosted and updated by CBS.
  • Barney's Twitter CBS also updates a Twitter account for Barney.
  • swarley.com (archived) — At the end of the episode “Swarley,” Barney tries to pretend he loves his new name to avoid being called Swarley again. Though not shown in the episode, there used to be a website called swarley.com about it.
  • TedMosbyIsAJerk.com — In the episode "The Bracket", it is revealed that one of Barney's former one-night-stands, whom he told that his name was Ted Mosby (in "Ted Mosby: Architect"), created a website denouncing him called TedMosbyIsAJerk.com. There is also TedMosbyIsNotAJerk.com.
  • Marshall and Lily's Wedding — A website with videos and pictures of Marshall's and Lily's honeymoon, never shown on the show (the honeymoon part was never shown).
  • LilyAndMarshallSellTheirStuff.com (archived) — In Season 3, Episode 19 (Everything Must Go) Marshall made a website so Lily could sell her clothes to pay for a contractor to fix the floor in their new apartment. The site was promoted at the end of the episode, as an actual online auction of memorabilia from the show. The proceeds were given to the Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. The site was shut down after the auction was completed.
  • GuyForcesHisWifeToDressInAGarbagebagForTheNextThreeYears.com — Lily proposes this name for their clothing auction website, after Marshall suggested “LilyAndMarshallSellTheirStuff.com.” To their surprise, Lily’s name has already been taken.
  • Mysterious Dr X — The website of Ted’s “mysterious” identity when he was in college, as seen on the episode The Possimpible.
  • Barney’s Video Resume — In the episode "The Possimpible", Barney reveals that he has created an online video resume.
  • The Wedding Bride — In the episode "As Fast As She Can", it is revealed that Tony wrote a screen play entitled "The Wedding Bride" that became a big hit and has an "official" website.
  • canadiansexacts.org — In the episode "Old King Clancy", Barney reveals this site as the source of his knowledge of Canadian Sex Acts and has it bookmarked on his laptop. Except for the Lily & Marshall interactive wedding album, this is the most extensive of all the himym fake websites. Canadian actor Alan Thicke makes several humorous cameos.
  • slapcountdown.com (archived) — In the episode "Wait For It" (and again in "Slapsgiving") Marshall debuts this website to torment Barney by counting down the days until he next gets slapped, the result of their Slap Bet. .Visiting the website prior to the airing of 'Slapsgiving' displayed the same countdown as featured on the show,[22] albeit counting down until the air time of the episode; after the episode aired, the site redirected to CBS' How I Met Your Mother YouTube channel.
  • itwasthebestnightever.com — In the episode "The Sexless Innkeeper", Marshall made this website after he and Lily went on a couples date with Barney and Robin.^ The How I Met Your Mother star is due to have her first baby soon.
    • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

    ^ All Posts Tagged With: "How I Met Your Mother" .
    • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

    ^ How I Met Your Mother .
    • How I Met Your Mother : Growing Your Baby – Parenthood from Pregnancy to Pre-school 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.growingyourbaby.com [Source type: General]

    It features a photo-montage of the evening and a music video of Marshall and Nuno Bettencourt of Extreme called "Best Night Ever", in which Marshall describes what a great time he and Lily had with Robin and Barney. The video was a parody of Extreme's "More Than Words" video. However, the website is no longer in use

Phone numbers

  • 1-877-987-6401 — During the Super Bowl XLIV telecast, a clip of Neil Patrick Harris was shown holding up a sign, ostensibly in the stadium's stands, with the words "Call Barney Stinson (CBS)" and the aforementioned phone number.[23][24][25] In the episode Rabbit or Duck, which aired the week after the Super Bowl, the same clip from the Super Bowl with Harris was shown; however, the number on the sign had been changed to a 555 number.[26] This occurrence became a plot point within the episode.[27] When the number is dialed, a message recorded by Harris in character as Barney is played. [28]

Reception

The show has received generally favorable reviews, and has a 69/100 rating on metacritic.com.[29] During the first season of the show, the reviews were very mixed. The New York Times said of the show, "How I Met Your Mother is not perfect. The writing does not yet live up to the show's premise, but the series has potential to improve," later adding, "This is not the kind of sitcom that revolutionizes the genre, or creates a pop culture buzz, but they are pleasant to watch. And that is nothing to sneer at."[30] Popmatters were less favorable, saying, "The comedy that does occur in How I Met Your Mother isn't enough to compensate for its inconsistencies. The jokes are often predictable or lame. For instance, Barney's insistence that Ted dress up in a suit to go out ("Suit up!") was instantly tired. Likewise, when Barney plants a kiss on Marshall to make a point to Ted, the joke is too evident to be amusing—look, the ladies' man is kissing another guy. With the increased presence of gays on television, the shock value of such a scene has long passed. Maybe How I Met Your Mother should have tried to be more like Friends after all."[31]
USA today gave the show a more positive review, reflecting on the cast as well. They said, "The script is humorous, though not hilarious, and the show boasts a fine cast that could, with time, jell into a great one. Harris sparkles in a change-of-pace role as a clueless would-be player, and Hannigan is as delightful here as she was in Buffy, which is high praise indeed."[32] Orlando Sentinel praised the show. The author, Hal Boedeker, said, "Romantic comedies depend on appealing actors, and these five are irresistible. In this adult show, series creators Carter Bays and Craig Thomas shift easily from risque material to tenderness before supplying the biggest surprise on any new fall series. That twist should keep viewers coming back to How I Met Your Mother."[33]

Nielsen ratings

Season Timeslot (EDT) Season premiere Season finale TV season Rank Viewers
(in millions)
1 Monday 8:30 P.M. (September 19, 2005 – May 15, 2006) September 19, 2005 May 15, 2006 2005–2006 #43[34] 9.47[34]
2 Monday 8:30 P.M. (September 18, 2006 – October 2, 2006)
Monday 8:00 P.M. (October 9, 2006 – May 14, 2007)
September 18, 2006 May 14, 2007 2006–2007 #61[35] 8.5[35]
3 Monday 8:00 P.M. (September 24, 2007 – March 10, 2008)
Monday 8:30 P.M. (March 17, 2008 – May 19, 2008)
September 24, 2007 May 19, 2008 2007–2008 #70[36] 8.2[36]
4 Monday 8:30 P.M. (September 22, 2008 - May 18, 2009)
September 22, 2008 May 18, 2009 2008–2009 #49[37] 9.4[37]
5 Monday 8:00 P.M. (September 21, 2009 - ) September 21, 2009 May 2010 2009–2010 9.34 (to date)
The show had an average of 9.72 million viewers for season 4, and episode 12 hit a season high of 11.85 million viewers, the show's highest ratings since Season 1 (February 2006). Episode 18, which aired at 8:00 instead of the show's usual 8:30 time-slot, hit a season low of only 7.40 million viewers. This was the lowest rated episode of How I Met Your Mother since the "Showdown" episode.

Awards and nominations

Year Result Category Award Show Recipient(s)
2006 Won Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series Emmy Award Crew
Won Outstanding Cinematography for a Multi-Camera Series Crew
Nominated Favorite New Television Comedy People's Choice Award Cast and crew
2007 Won Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series Emmy Award Crew
Won Outstanding Multi-Camera Picture Editing for a Series Crew
Nominated Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Neil Patrick Harris
Nominated Choice TV Actor: Comedy Teen Choice Award Neil Patrick Harris
2008 Won Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series Emmy Award Crew
Nominated Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Neil Patrick Harris
Nominated Favorite Scene Stealing Star People's Choice Award Neil Patrick Harris
Nominated Choice TV Show: Comedy Teen Choice Award Cast and crew
Nominated Choice TV Actor: Comedy Neil Patrick Harris
2009 Nominated Outstanding Comedy Series Emmy Award Crew
Nominated Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Neil Patrick Harris
Won Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series Crew
Nominated Outstanding Picture Editing for a Comedy Series Crew
Nominated Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role Golden Globe Award Neil Patrick Harris
Won Best Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series Ewwy Award Jason Segel
2010 Nominated Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role Golden Globe Award Neil Patrick Harris
Won Favorite TV Comedy Actress People's Choice Award Alyson Hannigan

DVD release

Season releases Region 1
DVD name Release date Episode # Additional information
Season 1 November 21, 2006 22 This three-disc box set includes all 22 episodes of Season 1. Bonus features include commentaries on six episodes, Video Yearbook (20:29), two music videos: "First Round" (1:13) and "Last Call" (1:45), and Gag Reel (9:00). The episodes on the DVD have been cropped from the originally broadcast widescreen to a full frame 4:3 format. At present there is no widescreen version available.
Season 2 October 2, 2007 22 This three-disc box set includes all 22 episodes of Season 2. Bonus features include commentaries on seven episodes, How We Make Your Mother (17:10), two music videos: Robin Sparkles' "Let's Go To The Mall" (3:17) and The Solids' "Hey Beautiful" (3:51), three "How It Really Happened" scenes (5:28), Gag Reel (7:10), and an Easter Egg.
Season 3 October 7, 2008 20 This three-disc box set includes all 20 episodes of Season 3. Bonus features include commentaries on seven episodes, Series Retrospective (2:42), Lily & Marshall's Honeymoon Videos (10:37), Cast Favorites (4:59), Behind the Scenes of "We're Not From Here" (5:43), six "How It Really Happened" scenes (8:33), two music videos: Marshall Eriksen's "You Just Got Slapped" (1:52) and Robin Sparkles' "Sandcastles in the Sand" (3:39), "Ted Mosby Is A Jerk" Audio Track for "The Bracket", and Gag Reel (11:12).
Season 4 September 29, 2009 24 This three-disc box set includes all 24 episodes of Season 4. Bonus features include commentaries on four episodes, A Night With Your Mother: Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Panel Discussion, Season 3 Recap, Eriksen's Fight Club, music video for Barney Stinson's "That Guy's Awesome", and Gag Reel. Also available on Blu-Ray outside of the UK.

References

  1. ^ "Release info". IMDb. 2005. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0460649/releaseinfo. 
  2. ^ a b "How I Met Your Mother cast". CBS. http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/bio. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  3. ^ "How I Met Your Mother Renewed For Sixth Season - TV Ratings, Nielsen Ratings, Television Show Ratings". TVbytheNumbers.com. 2010-01-25. http://tvbythenumbers.com/2010/01/25/how-i-met-your-mother-renewed-for-sixth-season/40110. Retrieved 2010-02-13. 
  4. ^ "TV Summer School: How to Create and Run a Successful Sitcom". E!Online. August 6, 2007. http://www.eonline.com/print/index.jsp?uuid=ae969501-d9e3-4679-900e-28fd88bbe95d&contentType=watchWithKristin. Retrieved 2009-11-11. "let's write about our friends and the stupid stuff we did in New York."" 
  5. ^ a b "Alyson Hannigan - "How I Met Your Mother" Sitcom - William S. Paley TV Fest". Whedon.info. 2006-03-28. http://www.whedon.info/Alyson-Hannigan-How-I-Met-Your,14745.html. Retrieved 2010-02-13. 
  6. ^ "TV Guide Editor's Blog: Video Q&As: I Hit the How I Met Your Motherlode!". tvguide.com. http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Tv-Mattrs/Met-Mother-Cast/800041252. Retrieved 2008-11-23. 
  7. ^ How I Met Your Mother 1st Season DVD Commentary
  8. ^ Joel Keller (2007-05-11). "Carter Bays of How I Met Your Mother: The TV Squad Interview". Archived from the original on 2007-05-13. http://web.archive.org/web/20070513030858/http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/05/11/carter-bays-of-how-i-met-your-mother-the-tv-squad-interview/. Retrieved 2009-11-11. 
  9. ^ "The Watcher: How 'How I Met Your Mother' is not a traditional sitcom". Chicago Tribune. http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2007/01/how_i_met_your_.html. Retrieved 2009-12-22. 
  10. ^ "'How I Met Your Mother's' Craig Thomas on Ted & Barney's Breakup, Eriksen Babies and The Future of Robarn". Zap2it.com. http://blog.zap2it.com/korbitv/2008/05/how-i-met-your.html. Retrieved 2008-07-21. 
  11. ^ "Barney writes a book, Barney + Robin, Ted + Stella and other 'How I Met Your Mother' news". Chicago Tribune. 2008-07-19. http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2008/07/barney-writes-a.html. Retrieved 2008-07-21. "He did reveal that more than two years ago ... With only the two kids who play Ted's future children ... they shot a scene that directly relates to the identity of the mother. That scene will be included in the show's series finale, which Thomas said he hopes "people will see in 2012."" 
  12. ^ "CBS Sets Series Return Dates". http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-cbsreturndates,0,7656374.story. Retrieved 2008-02-13. 
  13. ^ Breaking News – "THE BIG BANG THEORY" AND "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER" TO SWAP TIME PERIODS | TheFutonCritic.com
  14. ^ "Upfront: CBS Releases Full Schedule". http://www.broadcastingcable.com/article/CA6560732.html?industryid=47172. Retrieved 2008-05-14. 
  15. ^ "CBS Announces 2008–2009 Premiere Dates". CBS. http://futoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=20080626cbs01. Retrieved 2008-07-26. 
  16. ^ Nordyke, Kimberly (September 24, 2008). "'Mother' reruns nest at Lifetime". Hollywood Reporter. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/news/e3i6981db61c01d2a4deec48edaedd4cde9. 
  17. ^ "How I Met Your Mother: Syndication Deal Ensures Season Five for Sitcom". September 17, 2008. http://tvseriesfinale.com/articles/how-i-met-your-mother-syndication-deal-ensures-season-five-for-sitcom. 
  18. ^ "Exclusive: 'Without a Trace,' 'Privileged,' canceled, 'Gossip' spin-off DOA". May 19, 2009. http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/05/exclusive-witho.html. 
  19. ^ "'How I Met Your Mother' meets Season 6". January 25, 2010. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3iab98e96f89cc5a36341b1e5e5ec23dbc. 
  20. ^ Stinson, Barney (2008). The Bro Code. New York: Fireside. ISBN 9781439110003. 
  21. ^ Stinson, Barney (2009). Bro on the Go. New York: Fireside. ISBN 9781439173138. 
  22. ^ slapcountdown.com as it appeared on August 22, 2007
  23. ^ http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/2010/02/super-bowl-call-barney-stinson-at-1-877-987-6401.html
  24. ^ http://www.tvsquad.com/2010/02/08/call-barney-stinson/
  25. ^ http://www.buddytv.com/articles/how-i-met-your-mother/how-i-met-your-mother-barney-s-34340.aspx
  26. ^ http://blog.zap2it.com/ithappenedlastnight/2010/02/how-i-met-your-mother-rabbit-or-duck.html
  27. ^ http://blog.zap2it.com/ithappenedlastnight/2010/02/how-i-met-your-mother-rabbit-or-duck.html
  28. ^ ""Super Bowl: Call Barney Stinson" at How I Met Your Mother Source". http://himym.fan-sites.org/?p=1718. 
  29. ^ "How I Met Your Mother reviews". Metacritic.com. http://www.metacritic.com/tv/shows/howimetyourmother. Retrieved 2009-10-31. 
  30. ^ "How I Met Your Mother reviews". New York Times. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/19/arts/television/19stan.html?_r=1. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  31. ^ "How I Met Your Mother reviews". Popmatters. http://www.popmatters.com/tv/reviews/h/how-i-met-your-mother-051003.shtml. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  32. ^ "How I Met Your Mother reviews". USA Today. http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/reviews/2005-09-18-how-i-met-your-mother_x.htm. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  33. ^ "How I Met Your Mother reviews". Orlando Sentinel. http://articles.orlandosentinel.com/2005-09-18/news/TVCOMEDY_1_hates-chris-ted-jason-segel. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  34. ^ a b "How I Met Your Mother ratings". ABCmedianet. Archived from the original on 2007-03-10. http://web.archive.org/web/20070310210300/http://www.abcmedianet.com/pressrel/dispDNR.html?id=053106_05. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  35. ^ a b "How I Met Your Mother ratings". ABCmedianet. http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/television/features/e3ifbfdd1bcb53266ad8d9a71cad261604f. Retrieved 2009-12-24. 
  36. ^ a b "Season Program Rankings from 09/24/07 through 05/25/08". ABC Medianet. May 28, 2008. http://abcmedianet.com/web/dnr/dispDNR.aspx?id=052808_06. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 
  37. ^ a b "Season Program Rankings from 09/22/08 through 05/17/09". ABC Medianet. May 19, 2009. http://abcmedianet.com/web/dnr/dispDNR.aspx?id=051909_05. Retrieved 2009-07-03. 

External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

.How I Met Your Mother (2005-present) is an American sitcom, airing Mondays at 8:00 pm on CBS. The series is narrated through flashbacks from the future, where an older version of the main character, Ted Mosby, tells his two children the story of how he met their mother with the help of his best friend, Marshall Eriksen, Marshall's wife Lily Aldrin, and their two friends Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky.^ Tags: canada how i met your mother tv What's on TV .
  • how i met your mother » divine.ca`s Team Blog 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.divine.ca [Source type: General]

^ Herren t-shirt How I met your mother - Its gonna be LEGENDARY !!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 (3 DVDs): Amazon.de: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Alyson Hannigan, Neil Patrick Harris, The Solids, Pamela Fryman: DVD & Blu-ray 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 (3 DVDs): Amazon.de: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, The Solids, John Swihart, Pamela Fryman: DVD & Blu-ray 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]
  • Bro on the Go: Amazon.de: Barney Stinson, Matt Kuhn: Englische Bücher 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother” has me a little confused.
  • How I Met Your Mother 100th Episode | The Frisky 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.thefrisky.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Contents

Season 1

Pilot [1.01]

[First scene of the series, in 2030]
.Future Ted: Kids, I'm going to tell you an incredible story, the story of how I met your mother.^ Herren t-shirt How I met your mother - Its gonna be LEGENDARY !!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 (3 DVDs): Amazon.de: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Alyson Hannigan, Neil Patrick Harris, The Solids, Pamela Fryman: DVD & Blu-ray 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 (3 DVDs): Amazon.de: Josh Radnor, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan, The Solids, John Swihart, Pamela Fryman: DVD & Blu-ray 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]
  • Bro on the Go: Amazon.de: Barney Stinson, Matt Kuhn: Englische Bücher 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother” has me a little confused.
  • How I Met Your Mother 100th Episode | The Frisky 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.thefrisky.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ How I met your mother on DVD (rental) .
  • 051607: How I met your mother on DVD (rental) on Flickr - Photo Sharing! 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.flickr.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Ted's Son: Are we being punished or something?^ Ted's Son : Are we being punished or something?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Future Ted: No.^ Future Ted : ( confused ) No...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Future Ted : No.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted's Daughter: Dad, is this gonna take a while?^ Future Daughter : Yeah, is this gonna take a while?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Future Ted: Yes.^ Future Ted : Yes.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life...^ Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Five hundred years later, another man with similar intestinal fortitude stands before you, ready to share his extensive knowledge of the previously unknown.

^ Sexy Time: My girlfriend and I of five or so years live a satisfying, yet admittedly mundane sex life (we only see each other a couple times a month due to school/work, so we take what we can get).
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


[Ted just saw Robin]
.Older Ted: It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl?^ Ted: See, you say that.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I'll see you on the dance floor.
  • Barney's Blog Archives: STINSON V. STINSON 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.legen-waitforit.com [Source type: General]

^ Ted runs into an old girl friend and explains to his kids how this changed his entire life.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Celebla | TV ´s hottest gossip 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.celebla.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I'm gonna marry her someday."
.Ted: Hey Barney, see that girl?^ Like when we see Barney trying to hook Marshall up, but keeps taking the girls from him.
  • slapcountdown.com • View topic - Bad news... *Spoilers* 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.slapcountdown.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ We never see her face, but the girl told Lily she should stay away from Barney Stinson.
  • HIMYM: Barney Madness | Tubular | Chron.com - Houston Chronicle 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC blogs.chron.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ There's also an amusing flashback bit to a "Tuxedo Night" discussion between Barney and Ted , in which Barney has a great explanation of how the rules for girls are the same as the rules for gremlins.
  • How I Met Your Mother: ''Definitions'' Review - Review - at IGN 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC tv.ign.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: Oh yeeeahh, you just KNOW she likes it dirty.^ He likes you and you like him, and just be together!
  • How I Met Your Mother: Season One < Reviews | PopMatters 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.popmatters.com [Source type: General]

^ Did you know I just got a promotion?
  • Chowk: Society: The Love Letter 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC chowk.com [Source type: General]

^ If it’s anything like “You Just Got Slapped,” we know it will be a winner!
  • Neil Patrick, Rachel Bilson,Stacy Keibler Sings, Dances on How I Met Your Mother (Video) 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC celebrifi.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Go say 'Hi'.

Purple Giraffe [1.02]

.Ted: [talks about Robin] She wants casual...^ They want to talk about people exploiting Biggie, to me this is the worst way you could exploit his name; by disrespecting people who was around him who he had major love for.
  • Lil Kim bashes Faith Evans and Notorious B.I.G’s mother | Celebrity Gossip 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC blog.newsok.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Maybe go to dinner so you can talk about it and if it doesn’t work out, just let them know that you want your space.
  • Interview with The Hills star Brody Jenner 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.snmag.com [Source type: General]

^ We always talked about it, ever since [the episode] ‘Zip Zip Zip,’ which is the episode where Barney and Robin play laser tag and smoke cigars and all that stuff.
  • The Watcher: How I Met Your Mother 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Watcher: Barney writes a book, Barney + Robin, Ted + Stella and other 'How I Met Your Mother' news 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Okay, I'll be casual.^ Okay, I'll be casual.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual.^ I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You know why?^ I don't know why he would do that to you.

^ I know what you'll say, 'well why the fuck watch it?'
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You know why I love awards ceremonies?

'cause it's a game. .I wanted to skip to the end and to the whole happily ever after thing.^ We were led to believe the whole thing was going to be about Barney and his suits, but much of it ended up following Ted and guest star Rachel Bilson.
  • How I Met Your Mother Topics Page - USATODAY.com 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC content.usatoday.com [Source type: General]

^ Hes got the whole thing planned out but Ted just wants to go to the party.
  • TV Recap: How I Met Your Mother - The Bro Code 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC cinemablend.com [Source type: General]

^ He’s got the whole thing planned out but Ted just wants to go to the party.
  • TV Recap: How I Met Your Mother - The Bro Code 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.cinemablend.com [Source type: General]

.But you don't get there, unless you play the game.^ Its how you play the game .
  • How I Met Your Mother 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.aish.com [Source type: General]

^ But you don't get there, unless you play the game.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Catch my 65.000 pageviews and get a huge feature all for you -- Don't forget to join the group: There is not particular rule to join this group.

.Marshall: So you gonna ask her out?^ Marshall : So you gonna ask her out?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Oh and will find out who uses the whip in Marshall and Lily’s relationship, the answer will surprise you tonight on CBS at 8p!!!
  • Seriously? OMG! WTF? » How I Met Your Mother 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC seriouslyomg.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ If you are going out for a bite to eat, ask if you can bring something back for her.
  • Adoption Associates, Inc. | Frequently Asked Questions 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.adoptassoc.com [Source type: General]

Ted: Yes. .NO! I can't ask her out because if I ask her out I'm ASKING HER OUT. So how do I ask her out, without asking her out?^ In a recent interview the How I met Your Mother cast was asked who they hoped the mom would turn out to be.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Celebla | TV ´s hottest gossip 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.celebla.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Barney Stinson | Celebla | TV ´s hottest gossip 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.celebla.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ In “Life Among the Gorillas” not only do we see the poster but we without a doubt know what it says because Marshall reads it out loud.
  • Motivational Posters – Conformity Penguins | be awesome instead 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.beawesomeinstead.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I say this because she doesn’t seem to want to know how to deal with her daughter’s atheism but rather to know whether or not she’ll grow out of it, or is just saying it to rebel.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Did you guys get high?^ Lily : Did you guys get high?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Did you guys really do that?
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ How did we Barney: Ted, you klutzy, great guy, you!
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]


Lily: Hey. .I'm just sitting here.^ I'm just sitting here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just sitting here waiting for someone else to do it for her lol .
  • Lynne Spears Photos & Pics | How We Met Britney's Mother 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC x17online.com [Source type: General]

.Wearing my ring.^ Wearing my ring.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.My beautiful ring.^ My beautiful ring.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong.^ Login now or Register for a new account Men's wear Women's wear Other stuff Top Sellers What's new?
  • SPLITREASON.COM - Gear for Geeks and Gamers 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.splitreason.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Her love may make any other love seem inadequate.

^ As a general rule, we humans seem to be much happier when those around us are happy, so even being selfish would make us wish to help others!
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

Like... my shirt. .Kinda dont wanna wear my shirt any more.^ Kinda dont wanna wear my shirt any more.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Or my underwear. .Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.^ Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: [stops working and looks at Lily] No underwear?^ I can't stop looking at the picture of her, she was truly beautiful and now she is cancer-free, and laughing and flying...no more worries or fears.
  • The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Community: She fought the good fight 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC community.lls.org [Source type: General]

^ Robin refuses to buy into this, but Ted and Marshall gave her damning evidence, listing many friends that too decided to stop looking for love only to have it find them.
  • HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: The Playbook | Give Me My Remote 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.givememyremote.com [Source type: General]

^ The Scorpion And The Toad : With Ted no longer looking for love, Barney turns his attention to finding someone new for Marshall to help him forget about Lily.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Season Two : DVD Talk Review of the DVD Video 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.dvdtalk.com [Source type: General]

.Lily: Not even slightly.^ Lily : Not even slightly.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Camera pans to show Ted is in the room]
.Ted: Guys...boundaries!^ [Camera pans to show Ted is in the room] Ted : Guys...boundaries!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Sweet Taste of Liberty [1.03]

.Ted: The truth is: My friend, he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia.^ Ted: Truth is, my friendhe does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : The truth is: My friend, he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted getting beat up by girls.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

That's it, that's all this is!
.Airport Security Guard: Nobody's that lame.^ Airport Security Guard : Nobody's that lame.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Yes, he's that lame.^ Ted : Yes, he's that lame.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[to Barney] Tell him you're that lame.^ Barney : Let me tell you where I'm at.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Barney : You hit him with a chair?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney] Tell him you're that lame.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: We are international businessmen!^ Barney : We are international businessmen!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (Silence) Barney: We are international businessmen Ted: OH COME ON! Officer McNeil: Sir!
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: [at a party] Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it?^ You ever go behind the rope and touch it?
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ The gang is curious because Barney has been acting strange lately, being evasive about where he´s going, buying flowers and telling someone on the phone ´I love you´.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Celebla | TV ´s hottest gossip 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.celebla.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Barney Stinson | Celebla | TV ´s hottest gossip 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.celebla.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Employee at Liberty Bell Site: Only all the time.^ Employee at Liberty Bell Site : Only all the time.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Dana: Only all the time.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ A really great meal only happens when all the ingredients are in the right place, in the right moment and at the right time.
  • To Glee or Not to Glee, That is the Question | WorkAwesome 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC workawesome.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: Do you ever like, stick your head inside it?^ Barney: Ever, like, stick your head inside it Dana: Yeah.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Do you ever like, stick your head inside it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It's true we do, we all stick to the idea that you shouldn't throw like a girl, or if you trip a little you should make it look like you meant to and it was the beginning of a jog that after a couple of steps you change your mind about.
  • http://www.play.com/Books/Books/4-/10047190/The-Bro-Code/Product.html 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.play.com [Source type: General]

Employee: Yeah.
.Barney: Have you ever licked it?^ Barney : Have you ever licked it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Employee: Nope...I have never licked it.^ Employee : Nope...I have never licked it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney: Dyou ever lick it Dana: Nope, I have never licked it.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell.^ Barney: Hmm I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell!
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney: Could have licked the Liberty Bell.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Edit History Delete Four so far: 1) In "Slap Bet," shortly upon Barney choosing the "five slaps any time" option.
  • "How I Met Your Mother" (2005) - FAQ 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.imdb.com [Source type: General]

.If someone were to pull that off, I daresay it would be - what's the word?^ If someone were to pull that off I dare say it would bewhats the word?
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: Barney and I have this running joke that the first guy to pull this off would win the "championship belt."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

LEGENDARY.

Return of the Shirt [1.04]

[Ted walks into McLaren's]
Marshall: Woahh, nice top, bro.
.Lily: Yeah, green and brown together at last.^ Lily : Yeah, green and brown together at last.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I know right.^ Ted : I know right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW! Marshall : I know, I know, and I love it!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.This shirt's been sitting in my closet for like six years, and until this morning, I've never liked it.^ This shirt's been sitting in my closet for like six years, and until this morning, I've never liked it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I've been meaning to plug their awesome vlog for weeks, but never got around to it until I saw they recently linked us.
  • 2log 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC masten.2log.biz [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ And yet, until last night, I’ve never heard a peep from anyone about the “message” the show might be sending.
  • Getting in a huff about the morality of smoking in ‘How I Met Your Mother’ - Matthew Greenberg - Worst Episode Ever - True/Slant 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC trueslant.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.But I woke up, and it's like, my vision has changed.^ But I woke up, and it's like, my vision has changed.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Against my own better judgement, I ended up liking Moonlight by One-Eyed Willy .
  • CBS Renews 11 Series For 2008-09, Including BIG BANG THEORY!! MOONLIGHT And HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER In Limbo!! -- Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Suffice it to say, my mother does not like change.
  • My Mother, The Al-Qaeda Target - Jane Gideon - Open Salon 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC open.salon.com [Source type: General]

Barney: Booger.
.Ted: Yes, hello Barney.^ Ted : Yes, hello Barney.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "Yes, it’s very soon after her and Barney [split up], but...we’ve had characters that Ted has dated many times, but we haven’t brought in somebody for Robin.
  • How I Met Your Mother Spoilers - TV Fanatic 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.tvfanatic.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ So add my vote to the "introduce her already" camp: yes, it means ending the serial dating stories for Ted, but Robyn and Barney provide plenty of scope for that.
  • What's Alan Watching?: 'How I Met Your Mother' turns 100 - Sepinwall on TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC sepinwall.blogspot.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Robin: Barney's offering me 50 bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report.^ Barney wants to say something to Robin.
  • How I Met Your Mother 4×8: Woooo! | Dude Videos! 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother 4×15: The Stinsons | Dude Videos! 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin : Barney's offering me 50 bucks to say some stupid word on a live news report.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Not some stupid word.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Not some stupid word.^ Barney had done his fair share of stupid and barely legal stuff – and probably some things that weren’t legal at all – but hurting Ted was the only thing Barney felt he needed to be punished for.
  • Beyond the Illusion, a How I Met Your Mother fanfic - FanFiction.Net 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: Original source]

Booger.
Robin: But I am not doing it. I am a journalist.
Barney: What? Journalist? .You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news.^ You do the little fluff pieces at the end of the news.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ That leap from roof to roof was a little pitchy, but in the end you nailed it.
  • 'How I Met Your Mother' season finale recap: Taking a leap of faith | EW.com 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC popwatch.ew.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ But fear you not, next week things will get much saucier via flashbacks of the ménage-à-shocker as the three little birds piece together what happened.
  • Watch With Kristin - Television News, Gossip & Spoilers | E! Online 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.eonline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Old people, babies, monkeys.^ Old people, babies, monkeys.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

That's not journalism. .That's just things in a diaper.^ That's just things in a diaper.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: For your information, my boss is about to bump me up to...^ 'Open up your brain tank bra, cos I'm about to drop some premium octane knowledge!'
  • Amazon.co.uk: Customer Reviews: The Bro Code 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.amazon.co.uk [Source type: General]

^ Add up to five (5) theaters to your My Favorite Theater list by clicking on the 'Add' button on the theater details page (must accept cookies.
  • Entertainment Tonight - KOINLocal6.com 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.koinlocal6.com [Source type: General]

^ Whipper Snapper showed up to fix the pipes, and I tried to do my job and elicit information about him by using my only skill, social butterflyness.
  • My Mother, The Al-Qaeda Target - Jane Gideon - Open Salon 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC open.salon.com [Source type: General]

the .City Hall beat.^ City Hall beat.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: City Hall!^ Lily : City Hall!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Miss Thang!
.Robin: So, I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks.^ Robin : So, I'm not going to jeopardize my promotion by saying "booger" for 50 bucks.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ That's why when it's my time to R.I.P., I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it -buck naked.
  • Neil Patrick Harris Steps Into The Spotlight : NPR 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.npr.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ For my part, I'll go as far as to say they were welcomed, even mildly anticipated.
  • Season Pass on Variety.com 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC weblogs.variety.com [Source type: General]

Barney: Of course not. .Because now you're saying "nipple", and it's a hundred.^ Your dry spell is because you’re too lazy to drive 45 minutes for some poon.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Lifer Says: January 12th, 2010 at 12:03 pm Your daughter is lost to you now and she’ll burn forever in hellfire!
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ "Say," she said, "I hate to ask you this since I just met you and all, but since you're kinda like my stepdad or something I guess it's ok.
  • Journal of mcgrew (92797) 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC slashdot.org [Source type: General]

.[motions with finger] Step into my web.^ Step into my web.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Ted just told Natalie that he wants to break up with her...again]
.Natalie: [after throwing a gob of spaghetti at him] I'm NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!?^ No one does, but you better believe if Brees threw a pick our O-line would do the same thing to him .
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ But, you know, this issue of Wall Street is one where if he took on Wall Street, the bankers might hate him, but I think that would bring the country together more than you’d think.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ If you want a one-on-one consultation with Jess McCann, author of “You Lost Him at Hello” check out her website at www.jessmccann.com and email her for details!
  • Jess McCann - You Lost Him At Hello, A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal with Any Guy You Want 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC jessmccann.hcibooks.com [Source type: General]

.Ted: I, I'm sorry I thought that was the mature thing to do, I...^ Ted : I, I'm sorry I thought that was the mature thing to do, I...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Natalie: It's my birthday!^ Natalie : It's my birthday!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What's going on- Natalie : What's going on is, you broke my heart over my answering machine on my birthday.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Natalie : It's my birthday, and you're telling me I'm not the one for you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Yes, I know it's just...^ Ted : Yes Jamie she's very attractive, we can just end this class right now and [Betty raises hand] Betty?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : I know, but for whatever reason, Mr. Druthers just doesn't see it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Yes, I know it's just...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Natalie: It's my birthday, and you're telling me I'm not the one for you?^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're the only one here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're burning my ear!
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: It's no big deal.^ Ted : It's no big deal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I’m not going to tell you that religion is “no big deal,” but I will tell you that it is something that is very difficult to change another person’s mind about.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

It's odd, like you lost the lottery-
.Natalie: Oh, so dating you's like winning the lottery?^ Tell him you really like her and want to date her.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.[Ted stammers] So what's the problem?^ [Ted stammers] So what's the problem?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: I can't explain.
Natalie: Try!
.Ted: Well, it's just ineffable.^ Ted : Well, it's just ineffable.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Absolutely love it, it's just so funny and the characters are all great, well except Ted lol, he's a bit of a bore but the others make him tolerable.
  • How I Met Your Mother - E4 *NO SPOILERS* UK Pace - TV Programmes - Digital Spy Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Natalie: Oh, so I'm not 'F-able'?
.Ted: No, no, no, ineffable means it can't be explained.^ Ted : No, no, no, ineffable means it can't be explained.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Oh no, I mean, yes, when designing a bridge, always remember [points to writing] Make Adjustments, Go Get It Energized.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Natalie: So I'm stupid?
Ted: What's going on-
.Natalie: What's going on is, you broke my heart over my answering machine on my birthday.^ Natalie : It's my birthday, and you're telling me I'm not the one for you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What's going on- Natalie : What's going on is, you broke my heart over my answering machine on my birthday.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Like when I kept going downstairs to get snacks when my sister had her slumber-birthday party at our house when we were in high school.
  • Shelbyville Times-Gazette: Local News: Niles' bond: $1 million 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.t-g.com [Source type: Original source]

.Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday!^ Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Three years later, I met the love of my life.
  • BEL MOONEY: How can I go on without the trusting friend who restored my faith in love? | Mail Online 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.dailymail.co.uk [Source type: General]
  • BEL MOONEY: How can I go on without the trusting friend who restored my faith in love? | Mail Online 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.dailymail.co.uk [Source type: General]

^ I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlaps, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day The Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course - wait for it- 'cause Lord knows I have, pregnancy scares.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: No no, it's not like that...it's just...it's just-
Natalie: WHAT!?
.Ted: I'm just like super busy right now.^ Ted : I'm just like super busy right now.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "Very smoothly, sir," says Smithers, "Just like the transmission of your 1944 Ford that you filled with sawdust right before you sold it."
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted, honey, Barney isn’t here right now.
  • Beyond the Illusion, a How I Met Your Mother fanfic - FanFiction.Net 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: Original source]

.Future Ted: Remember when Natalie said...^ Future Ted : Remember when Natalie said...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Remember how, after watching Ted and Robin's romance begin to blossom, we got to the last second of the season premiere and Ted said, "And that's how I met your Aunt Robin."
  • Who will be the mom on 'How I Met Your Mother?' - CNN.com 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.cnn.com [Source type: General]

^ In other words, just because we heard the stripper say "I'm Tracy," doesn't mean that Future Ted told his kids, "She said her name was Tracy."
  • "How I Met Your Mother" (2005) - FAQ 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.imdb.com [Source type: General]

.Natalie: [in flashback, at the bar] I got a Krav Maga class in about half an hour.^ Natalie : [in flashback, at the bar] I got a Krav Maga class in about half an hour.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Its not that its not progressing forward, i'm just curious how much of it is actually done by the GPU. Did about 10% in two and a half hours.
  • FAH adds X1800 & X1600 support - Beyond3D Forum 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC forum.beyond3d.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Marshall : Which takes about an hour and a half of waxing, tugging and teasing to achieve.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Future Ted: It turns out that Krav Maga is not a form of yoga.^ Future Ted : It turns out that Krav Maga is not a form of yoga.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I Know Krav Maga: Ted getting beat up by a disgruntled ex using Krav Maga.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Ted's story about how Robin's sister Katie's life turned out, "First Time In New York."
  • "How I Met Your Mother" (2005) - FAQ 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.imdb.com [Source type: General]

.It's a form of guerrilla street fighting developed by the Israeli Army.^ It's a form of guerrilla street fighting developed by the Israeli Army .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Natalie proceeds to beat up Ted]

Okay Awesome [1.05]

.Barney: Ted, get your coat, we're leaving.^ Barney: Ted, get your coat, we're leaving.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Barney: Ted, Ted youre not even looking.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ A blizzard hits New York City, threatenting a tradition of Marshall and Lily's and leaving Ted and Barney to keep MacLaren's doors open.
  • How I Met Your Mother 4×8: Woooo! | Dude Videos! 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Ted: What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?^ Ted : What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: What happened to that, uh, cutlet you were grinding with?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Barney: That was my cousin Leslie!^ Barney : That was my cousin Leslie!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: What!? [begins to laugh]
Barney: No, no, no. .We are not laughing about this, Ted.^ We are not laughing about this Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ We are not laughing about this, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.This is not gonna be some funny story that we're gonna be telling in a couple of months.^ This is not gonna be some funny story that we're gonna be telling in a couple of months.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ A few months ago people were posting questions on how to get their brown belt, and the advice and the stories were funny.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Wait, scientists, let me get this straight: You’re telling me it’s gonna be like summer all year round?

.It's not gonna be like 'remember that time when you were grinding with'-No.^ It's not gonna be like 'remember that time when you were grinding with'-No.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall cries] [at Lily's funeral] Pastor : ...and so Marshall, to honor Lily, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time, and plow her like a cornfield.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you always like to be prepared and want things to be orderly, you might feel better if you have completed some initial preparations ahead of time.
  • Adoption Associates, Inc. | Frequently Asked Questions 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.adoptassoc.com [Source type: General]

.And do you know why; because italics, [Barney holds his hand up and then slants them to an angle] this night did not happen.^ You know, see what happens.
  • The Superficial - Britney Spears on 'How I Met Your Mother' 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC thesuperficial.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Because, as you know, she was in that class .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ And do you know why; because italics, [Barney holds his hand up and then slants them to an angle] this night did not happen.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Lily: Hey.
Robin: Hey.
.Lily: Marshall just ditched out on our own party.^ Yeah sure he did some things that were nice but I just hope it still comes across as believable that Ted, Lily, Robin and Marshall actually want to hang out with him.

^ Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily set out to purchase their wedding outfits and find out that neither can afford what they bought.
  • How I Met Your Mother | myLifetime.com 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.mylifetime.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ But that- basically, we’d all be out fighting for grub on our own.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Could you get me in there?^ I only have three more cigarettes, is there any way you could loan me five bucks for smokes?"
  • Journal of mcgrew (92797) 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC slashdot.org [Source type: General]

^ Perhaps you could look inside of yourself before casting stones at your MIL. You might find a good person there.
  • MIL vs Mother and Grandchildren [Archive] - OnlineConversion Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC forum.onlineconversion.com [Source type: Original source]

.I kinda need to kill him.^ I kinda need to kill him.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Actually I can't even get myself in.^ Robin : Actually I can't even get myself in.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I was such a dork. .I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts.^ I get recognized one time and I start thinking I'm Julia Roberts.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Grognor 08-08-2009, 06:26 AM I think NOW I get what people meant by not being able to read comics like these one at a time.
  • How I Killed Your Master Page #001 to whenever we close this thread [Archive] - Nuklear Power Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC forum.nuklearpower.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ It started snowballing from there, and at press time, Erin has sold over one hundred pieces—to people all over.

.I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.^ It's just a little too cutesy for me, even for this show.
  • What's Alan Watching?: 'How I Met Your Mother' turns 100 - Sepinwall on TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC sepinwall.blogspot.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I'm no VIP, I'm not even an IP; I'm just a lonely little P sitting out here in the gutter.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm just sitting here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: You know something, I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.^ Lily : You know something, I'd take a P in the gutter over Julia Roberts any day.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It’s also– you know, it takes time and energy to do that.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ They also are fearful of taking Wall Street on, because they’ve been taught that if, you know, if the DOW falls, if you take on the big banks, it’s going to be bad for all of us.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

Slutty Pumpkin [1.06]

Lily: Nobody remembers what the hell a hanging chad is.
.Marshall: What a sad commentary on our national attention span, that we could forget such a turbulent time in our political history.^ Marshall : What a sad commentary on our national attention span, that we could forget such a turbulent time in our political history .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We must take time with our grief, time with our baby, and know that we will never forget our love for our baby.
  • SHARE Atlanta Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Grief Support 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.shareatlanta.org [Source type: General]

^ We have a media complex (and political players) who exploit the asymmetries of our emotional thinking all the time.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: [As parrot] Sad commentary!^ Lily : [As parrot] Sad commentary!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Rrrawk! .All right, Polly gotta pee!^ So I said all right, and my business sense kicked in: 'If you want to do this the first thing we gotta do is get the girls.'"
  • When Rumbel Met Sledgehammer | Feature | Chicago Reader 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.chicagoreader.com [Source type: General]

Marshall: Again?
[Marshall follows Lily to the bathroom]
.Ted: Where are you going?^ What do you think Ted, should I go for it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall follows Lily to the bathroom] Ted : Where are you going?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home'.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: It's... an elaborate costume.

.Robin: How do you do this Ted?^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : How do you do this Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Stinson lives in New York, New York-and appears weekly on the hit CBS show "How I Met Your Mother" with his friends Ted, Robin, Lily and Marshall.
  • Bro on the Go: Amazon.de: Barney Stinson, Matt Kuhn: Englische Bücher 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.amazon.de [Source type: General]

.How do you sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?^ But you still got to leave with your baby.
  • SHARE Atlanta Pregnancy and Newborn Loss Grief Support 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.shareatlanta.org [Source type: General]

^ Hope you can sit up soon.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ But then it’s all in how you write the rules.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Well, I'm pretty drunk.^ Ted : Well, I'm pretty drunk.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Look I know the odds are, the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning.^ Look I know the odds are, the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just give her your most loving look and say the magic words, "I understand."
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Fat, drunk, broke and horny …is no way to go through life, son.
  • Sadly, No! » One Slice Of Humble Pie, Sir, Topped With P-Whip? 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.sadlyno.com [Source type: General]

.But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just ...^ But it just seems as nice a spot as any to just ...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

you know, sit and wait.

Matchmaker [1.07]

.Lily: Don't Ted-out about it.^ Ted : Don't do it, man, think about Lily?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Don't Ted-out about it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Did you just use my name as a verb?^ Did you use anyone as a template for this?
  • How I Killed Your Master Page #001 to whenever we close this thread [Archive] - Nuklear Power Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC forum.nuklearpower.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Just my .02, you understand.
  • Shelbyville Times-Gazette: Local News: Niles' bond: $1 million 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.t-g.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Did you just use my name as a verb?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back.^ Barney : Oh, yeah, we do that behind your back.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney: Ever, like, stick your head inside it Dana: Yeah.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted and Barney have their heads on the table and their hands tied behind their backs] Ted: You had to play the race card.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

"Ted-out": to overthink. See also "Ted-up". "Ted-up": to overthink with disastrous consequences. For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he-"
.Ted: All right, I get it!^ [Ted's prepared to embark on the road trip to Gazola's with Marshall] Ted : All right, I'm ready to hit the road.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ For example, "Billy Tedded-up when he-" Ted : All right, I get it!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Robin: So what was it, a cockroach or a mouse?^ Robin : So what was it, a cockroach or a mouse?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: It was a cockamouse!
Robin: What?
Lily: It's some sort of mutant combination of the two. .It's as if a cockroach and a mouse, you know...^ It's as if a cockroach and a mouse, you know...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Did the horizontal, ten-legged, interspecies cha-cha?
Robin: So it was a cocka-potato-mouse?
.Marshall: Don't make this sound ridiculous.^ Marshall : Don't make this sound ridiculous.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It's a cockamouse.

The Duel [1.08]

[Flashback]
.Marshall: You wanna talk about who gets the apartment after Lily & I get married?^ Is that you're talking about?
  • YesButNoButYes: Top Ten Songs to Have Sex To 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.yesbutnobutyes.com [Source type: General]

^ You can’t talk any trash about Whiz.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Y'know who I think we should let deal with this problem?^ But we need to press that the structural deficit is the problem, and that democrats thinks it should be solved.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I'd love for anyone that has a second to click on the "Comment" link below and let us know who dropped by.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Be aware of this and be encouraging to her, letting her know that you yourself are critically thinking about her responses and not just letting them go to the wind.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: Who?
.Ted: Future Ted & Future Marshall.^ Ted : Future Ted & Future Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Timeshifted Actor Marshall, Lily and Ted have become their future selves in some episodes of the series.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Ted is dating Robin (Cobie Smulders), who is not the mother of the future, Marshall (Jason Segel) is dating Lilly (Alyson Hannigan), and then there is the womanizing Barney...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Boxxet 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.boxxet.com [Source type: General]

Marshall: Totally.
[Present Day]
Ted: Dammit, Past Ted!

.Lily: On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiance ran me through with a freakin' broadsword!^ Lily : On Monday I'm going to have to tell my kindergarten class, who I tell not to run with scissors, how my fiance ran me through with a freakin' broadsword!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It all started when Ted's best friend, Marshall, dropped the bombshell that he was going to propose to his long-time girlfriend, Lily, a kindergarten teacher.
  • Shows A-Z - how i met your mother on cbs | TheFutonCritic.com 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.thefutoncritic.com [Source type: General]

^ Why do I have Steely Dan’s Peg running through my head just now?
  • Sadly, No! » One Slice Of Humble Pie, Sir, Topped With P-Whip? 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.sadlyno.com [Source type: General]

.Marshall: Technically, it didn't go all the way through.^ Marshall : Technically, it didn't go all the way through.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It all started when Ted's best friend, Marshall, dropped the bombshell that he was going to propose to his long-time girlfriend, Lily, a kindergarten teacher.
  • Shows A-Z - how i met your mother on cbs | TheFutonCritic.com 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.thefutoncritic.com [Source type: General]

^ Robin denies it through all his teasing then excuses herself to go upstairs and stand on the roof alone for five minutes.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Lily: I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?^ Lily : I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : What are you so chirpy about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Kara: [talking about Lily] You should sue her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Belly Full of Turkey [1.09]

Robin: I am Canadian. Remember? .We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.^ We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Oh right I forgot.^ Ted : Oh right I forgot.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

You guys are weird and you pronounce the word 'out', 'oot'.
.Robin: You guys are the world's leader in hand gun violence; your health care system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.^ I know in the movies when someone pulls out a gun and starts shooting at you there's time to duck behind things, pull out your gun, and fire back.
  • Shelbyville Times-Gazette: Local News: Niles' bond: $1 million 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.t-g.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Throw on a T-shirt two sizes too small for you, grab a hair dryer and an issue of Cosmo, and when you walk into a bar EVERY woman will want to be with you.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ And, you know, it this is not this is not something like health care or climate change, where you can see a lot of moving parts that go together.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

Ted: [pause] Your cops are called 'mounties'.

Ted: Barney.
Barney: Yeah, what's up?
Ted: You have a time sheet? .No one else does.^ No one else does.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I never discussed this before thinking that it's not good talking of her, if she does not know, but it's all over, one lie less, one lie more - no difference.

Barney: Yeah, so? [Ted steals paper] Hey! .That's my private personal business!^ That's my private personal business!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : That's my private personal business!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: "Court Mandated Community Service"??^ Ted : "Court Mandated Community Service"??
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Oh my god, you're on probation?^ Ted : Oh my god.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ You're burning my ear!
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ "You're forever in my debt.
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

What did you do?
.Barney: That's my private personal business!^ That's my private personal business!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : That's my private personal business!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[flashback to Barney running away after peeing on a wall.]
.Barney: I was unfairly punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church!^ Barney : I was unfairly punished because the wall belonged to the judge's church!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: You peed on a church?^ Ted : You peed on a church?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk!^ Did he really want to see Barney?
  • Beyond the Illusion, a How I Met Your Mother fanfic - FanFiction.Net 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: Original source]

^ I just don't want to ever see him be that selfish again because he was harsh to his friends I actually wondered after that why they would want to still be friends (before Lily told what Barney did).

^ Barney’s accident wasn’t a random chain of events – everything had happened because of Ted.
  • Beyond the Illusion, a How I Met Your Mother fanfic - FanFiction.Net 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: Original source]

The Pineapple Incident [1.10]

.Marshall: You okay?^ Marshall : You okay?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Okay, new scenario: We're caught in a car crash, you die, I'm left paralyzed.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Derrick: Its okay, man Marshall: BACK OFF HOMBRE. Im not that afraid to fight you.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Sure. Why?
Marshall: Ah...I don't know. .Girl of your dreams...dating a billionaire.^ I agree with Needs More Cheerleaders- guys could never date a girl because odd are, at some point one of your friends DID like her.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ C. On your daughter's wedding day, you want nothing more than to make your little girl's dreams come true.

.Ted: Okay, first of all, hundred-millionaire.^ Ted : Okay, first of all, hundred-millionaire.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Okay, first thing: we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Implausible Deniability : Occurs with Barney in 'Miracles' when he attempts to deny the fact that he ran all the way to hospital to see if Ted was okay after being in a car accident.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

And second, she's not the girl of my dreams. .We're just friends.^ We're just friends.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Look, it would not be smart if we got together.^ Look, it would not be smart if we got together.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I..I mean, I'm looking to settle down, she's looking for a....^ I..I mean, I'm looking to settle down, she's looking for a....
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Barney starts snoring]
Barney: Wha...? You done? Great. .Check out table number four.^ Check out table number four.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.See that little hottie on the end?^ See that little hottie on the end?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.She's short, but has an ample bosom.^ She's short, but has an ample bosom.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I love it! .She's like half boob.^ She's like half boob.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[whispers to Ted] Let's go.^ [Cut to streets, Ted and Lily on the phone walking with Marshall] Ted: (On Phone) Why dont we go to McClarins Lily: (On Phone) Lets go to McClarins.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted] Let's go.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Yea and say what? .What's our big opening line?^ What's our big opening line?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: ...it was uh....'Daddy's home'.
.Ted: Daddy's home?^ Ted : Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home'.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Daddy's home?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Yeah!
.Ted: Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home'. Really think about that, Barney.^ And you say, “Does this really serve them?
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney: Lets go talk to those girls.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ "What do you think cigarettes are doing right now?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: Hmm...yea, I think it's pretty solid.^ Barney : Hmm...yea, I think it's pretty solid.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: Why do they call it karaoke anyhow?^ Ted : Why do they call it karaoke anyhow?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When mocking some pants Marshall wants to wear, Ted says " Bel Biv Devo called, and not even they want those pants back."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Was it invented by a woman named Karey Oke...These are the kind of things I think about.^ What kind of things should I talk with my birth mother about when we're doing things together, whether that's talking on the phone or while we're waiting together at an appointment?
  • Adoption Associates, Inc. | Frequently Asked Questions 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.adoptassoc.com [Source type: General]

^ One other thing I’d like you to think about though – the possibility that your daughter may be RIGHT and that religion really is just a superstition.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I don’t know about the “bro code”, but I think the ideal Republican woman comes with a 3-button remote control, labeled “housework”, “sex” and “off”.
  • Sadly, No! » One Slice Of Humble Pie, Sir, Topped With P-Whip? 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC www.sadlyno.com [Source type: General]

The Limo [1.11]

.Marshall: Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs...^ Marshall looks from Arthur to the not-present dog and back again.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.It's like we're the president.^ It's like we're the president.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: You're not...^ Ted : You're a hooker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It's funny...when you date someone, you're taking one long course on who that person is, and when you break up, all of that stuff is useless.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Moby, are you?
Not Moby: Who?
.Ted: The recording artist, Moby.^ Ted : The recording artist, Moby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Not Moby: Oh, no.^ Not Moby : Oh, no.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?^ Why on earth did you marry her?

^ Why did you do it?” Ted asked, voice barely holding.
  • Beyond the Illusion, a How I Met Your Mother fanfic - FanFiction.Net 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: Original source]

^ Why is it so difficult for you to say "she" here?
  • Trans Student Ejected from Texas High School - Topix 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.topix.net [Source type: General]

.Not Moby: Oh, I thought you said Tony.^ Not Moby : Oh, I thought you said Tony.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We’re in the studio, Faith was in another room and she called Scott’s phone and said “Oh Kim’s with you?
  • Lil Kim bashes Faith Evans and Notorious B.I.G’s mother | Celebrity Gossip 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC blog.newsok.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Ted : Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: So your name's Tony?^ Ted : So your name's Tony?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Not Moby: No.

The Wedding [1.12]

.Marshall: Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.^ Marshall : Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm just saying we should have sex!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "And I just want to say thank you so much for the most awesome League of Their Own moment I've ever had in my life.
  • When Rumbel Met Sledgehammer | Feature | Chicago Reader 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.chicagoreader.com [Source type: General]

Lily: But I'm the bride. So, I win.
.Marshall: But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together.^ Marshall : But I thought marriage is about two equal partners, sharing a life together.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "The two of them together couldn't produce a thought."
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

^ "Keep your mouth shut," says T. Kinzie wonders about their relationship, "I thought you two were finito."
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Right, but I'm the bride.^ Lily : Right, but I'm the bride.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

So, I win.

[Lily takes Barney aside at MacLaren's after she sees him consoling Claudia, who just called off the wedding with Stuart]
.Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes!^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Lily takes Barney aside at MacLaren's after she sees him consoling Claudia, who just called off the wedding with Stuart] Lily : Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you're trying to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?^ Barney : Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: [Thinks about it.] One of each!^ Lily : [Thinks about it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Don't do it, man, think about Lily?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ One other thing I’d like you to think about though – the possibility that your daughter may be RIGHT and that religion really is just a superstition.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

Drumroll, Please [1.13]

.Lily: [to Ted as he walks out of his bedroom] Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?^ Lily : Did you guys get high?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It was on last night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: I had the most... amazing night ever.
.Marshall: Tell me about it!^ Marshall : Tell me about it!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney just discovered he did not sire a baby with his latest sexual conquest and tells Marshall about it] Barney : Marshall, great news - I'm not a father.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ GNB Roof: Marshall and Arthur are sharing a smoke, and Arthur is telling an awful story about hitting someone across the nose with a newspaper.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

That cake. Best cake I ever had. .Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down Gullet Alley."^ 'Cause you know she's my girl.
  • When Rumbel Met Sledgehammer | Feature | Chicago Reader 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.chicagoreader.com [Source type: General]

^ I know you're thinking it.
  • Prevuze: Do You Mind If I Attach This To Your Bosom? 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC prevuze.blogspot.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't know why he would do that to you.

.Lily: Yeah, I know, my stomach was like "Girlfriend, we don't always get along but that cake..."^ I guess I just like the idea of putting all my Robin Scherbatsky knowledge to good use, you know?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : I know it is, but I've learned my lesson.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Seriously, my stomach was like "Hey bro, I don't know what you're eating cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down Gullet Alley."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Victoria: Why don't we just...^ Why are they not in the Hall...I just don't understand.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Victoria : Why don't we just...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

dance. And have a great time. .And when it's over, never see each other again.^ And when it's over, never see each other again.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Unless--
Victoria: No. No unless. .No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names.^ No e-mails, no phone numbers, not even names.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Tonight, we'll make a memory that will never be tarnished.^ Tonight, we'll make a memory that will never be tarnished.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I know it’ll never happend and it’s not a great fit, but it would make me SO happy.
  • Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on 'NCIS,' 'Glee,' Bones,' 'HIMYM, 'Grey's,' and more! | Ausiello | EW.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC ausiellofiles.ew.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this moment...^ Then, when we're old and gray, we'll look back on this moment...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You leave early because you're old and depressed and it's strikingly clear you'll never be able to afford a house of similar size.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

and it'll be perfect.
Ted: Wow... Okay I'm in.
Victoria: [enthusiastically] Okay!
.Ted: I guess, uh, what, we'll need fake names?^ Ted : I guess, uh, what, we'll need fake names?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Victoria: Um... you can call me Buttercup. [Ted and "Buttercup" shake hands]
.Ted: Pleased to meet you, Buttercup.^ [Ted and "Buttercup" shake hands] Ted : Pleased to meet you, Buttercup.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He's Don Frank ( Bob Koldyke ), who you'll remember as the coworker Robin met after Marshall and Ted told her she was going to meet the one .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I'm... Lando Calrissian. .[Victoria laughs] Wow, this is kind of exciting.^ [Victoria laughs] Wow, this is kind of exciting.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Our names will forever be shrouded in--
.Barney: [with bridesmaid on his arm] Hey Ted, Ted, Ted, look!^ Our names will forever be shrouded in-- Barney : [with bridesmaid on his arm] Hey Ted, Ted, Ted, look!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Oh Crap : The look on Barney and Ted's faces when Robin catches them in Robin 101.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Barney: Ted, Ted youre not even looking.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

I got a bridesmaid! Ted Ted look, Ted! .The second hottest bridesmaid!^ The second hottest bridesmaid!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted, look! .See you Ted.^ Ted: See, you say that.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ See you Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney: (Doing I see you hand motion) Ted, Ted, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

Ted: [to Victoria] So I'm Ted.
Victoria: Victoria.

Zip, Zip, Zip [1.14]

.Marshall: [to Ted] Two days straight?^ Marshall : [to Ted] Two days straight?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When Ted violates the 'three days rule' by continually texting with a girl he's just met, Barney and Marshall retaliate by impersonating her.
  • How I Met Your Mother 4×15: The Stinsons | Dude Videos! 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Marshall: (On Phone With Ted) Sorry, Buddy, two against one (hangs up) [Cut to Bar] Robin: Ooh, look a booth opened up.
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Wow, your room must smell like a monkey cage.^ Lily : Wow, your room must smell like a monkey cage.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall cries] [at Lily's funeral] Pastor : ...and so Marshall, to honor Lily, you must find that busty delivery girl from that one time, and plow her like a cornfield.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: [in the laser tag arena] Don't be a hero, Scherbatsky!^ Barney : [in the laser tag arena] Don't be a hero, Scherbatsky!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead...don't look at me, I'm hideous.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: See you on the other side.^ Robin : Where do you see yourself?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : See you on the other side.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ However, what I want to tell you is that it’s ok on the other side.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

Both: Yaahhhhh! Charging!
.Barney: [Both got shot] Damn, wanna get a soft pretzel?^ Barney : [Both got shot] Damn, wanna get a soft pretzel?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Sure.

Game Night [1.15]

.Victoria: I've only had 2 boyfriends before Ted.^ Victoria : I've only had 2 boyfriends before Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Victorious Childhood Friend : Maggie and her last boyfriend, in what Ted dubs "the second-greatest love story I've ever heard".
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Ted and Jen recognize each other] Ted and Jen : We've been on this date before.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Prude alert!^ Robin : Prude alert!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Victoria: Well, two serious ones.^ Victoria : Well, two serious ones.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I’ve dated others in between.^ I’ve dated others in between.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted and Jen recognize each other] Ted and Jen : We've been on this date before.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Slut alert!

.Victoria: I will tell you my most humiliating story.^ Victoria : I will tell you my most humiliating story.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "This is by far the most disgusting, disparaging, stomach churning thing I've ever read, which means a lot if you've ever seen one of my husband's grocery lists."
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ I will see what happened to my two sisters, and I will return to tell you."
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Yeah, Victoria!^ Marshall : Yeah, Victoria!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Way to step up.
.Victoria: OK, it involves a game of Truth or Dare, a squeeze bottle of marshmallow ice cream topping, and the hot tub at my grandparent's retirement community.^ Now at 25, I am finally being more open about my religious stance and getting involved with a secular group who wants to be involved in helping the community.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

.Older Ted: Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way in hell I'm telling you this one.^ Look, there’s no way you can take that money.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ There’s no way to get around it.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, I meant do you have a cold?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Don't worry, it wasn't that great.^ Don't worry, it wasn't that great.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: [staring goggle-eyed at Victoria] That is the greatest story ever!

Cupcake [1.16]

.Lily: [Trying on wedding dresses] Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.^ Lily : [Trying on wedding dresses] Oh, this dress is totally going to get me laid on my wedding night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (Lily peels squished grape off her dress) Lily: Oh, damn it!
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily: (On Phone) Im not going to take off my ring!
  • How I Met Your Mother | Episode 1-03 Transcript | Sweet Taste Of Liberty 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twiztv.com [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.^ Ted : Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible Ted : Hmm...I disagree.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted remembers the summer and prepares to teach college.
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

Life Among the Gorillas [1.17]

.Bilson: Nice tie!^ Bilson : Nice tie!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Steak sauce!
Office Jerk: Ohhhhhhh, steakkk sauce!
[Marshall looks for a stain on his tie]
.Barney: Marshall, sidebar.^ [Marshall looks for a stain on his tie] Barney : Marshall, sidebar.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Your tie is steak sauce.^ Your tie is steak sauce.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

A1? Get it?
.Bilson: Ok, Eriksen, let's get to work.^ Bilson : Ok, Eriksen, let's get to work.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It’s 2am and its raining outside, ding dong what? The Doorbell? .Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trenchcoat and nothing else, but wait, knock knock, somebody is at the back door.^ Oh, hello, Jessica Alba in a trenchcoat and nothing else, but wait, knock knock , somebody is at the back door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: I don’t have a back door.^ Marshall : I don’t have a back door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Bilson: Oh my gosh, Jessica Simpson, what a surprise.^ Bilson : Oh my gosh, Jessica Simpson, what a surprise.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Two Jessicas, you gotta pick one, what do you do?^ Two Jessicas, you gotta pick one, what do you do?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ She said: Little for one, and less for two, And never a grain have I for you.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ If you're watching this tape - and I knew you'd pick this one - you are now in possession of my porn.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Go!
.Marshall: Right, well, I’m engaged.^ Marshall : Right, well, I’m engaged.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Office Jerk: Fiancee is out of town, what do you do?^ You may not have counselor's offices as we do in the States, or you may not be able to afford professional counseling, but surely there is a Godly pastor or a local elder (or counsel of elders) that can help you sort this out?

^ Amy Ausiello: Yeah, about that… Turns out I’m going to conveniently unfortunately be out of the office the day you’re here.
  • Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on 'NCIS,' 'Glee,' Bones,' 'HIMYM, 'Grey's,' and more! | Ausiello | EW.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC ausiellofiles.ew.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Go!
.Marshall: We’re still engaged.^ Marshall : We’re still engaged.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Bilson: Ok, fiancée is dead, hit by a bus, what do you do, GO!

.Marshall: I want to give you the package.^ You’ve got a great package, Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : I want to give you the package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I wanted to make it up to you by giving you this."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Lily: The package? .You’ve already given me the package.^ Things you've already fixed.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Note to Osama: You've already won.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Sex: It’s my birthday on Saturday, and my piece of ass girlfriend said I can have, “Whatever I want.” We’ve already done anal, and she’s said she wants that again, so that’s a given.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.You’ve got a great package, Marshall.^ You’ve already given me the package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you’ve got a huge package!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’ve got a great package, Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I love your package.^ I love your package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know.^ You know, most webcomics do well building up at least 20 or 30 pages before announcing their existence.
  • How I Killed Your Master Page #001 to whenever we close this thread [Archive] - Nuklear Power Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC forum.nuklearpower.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Dan Says: June 19th, 2009 at 4:17 pm You know, growing up in Jersey, most people are fans of the Giants or Jets.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.You deserve a big package.^ You deserve a big package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: Your package has always been big enough. .You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you’ve got a huge package!^ You’ve already given me the package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You may not realize this Marshall Eriksen, but you’ve got a huge package!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’ve got a great package, Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Marshall turns around at the bar to see every hot girl eying him and smiling fiendishly]

Nothing Good Happens After 2 A.M. [1.18]

Sandy Rivers: [to Robin] We should have sex!
Robin: What?!?!
.Sandy Rivers: Why not, we’re both available, we’re both attractive, we’re both good at it, at least I’m good at it, and even if you’re not, don’t worry, I’ll have a good time either way.^ And I’ll see you next time.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ And that's why you're awesome.
  • How I Killed Your Master Page #001 to whenever we close this thread [Archive] - Nuklear Power Forums 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC forum.nuklearpower.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin : You don't even have to say that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Well moving past the horrifying image of your hair helmet clanging against the headboard, I don’t get involved with people I work with.^ Robin tells Don he's just jealous because he never had a shot at a network job, but she thinks she does, so she has to focus on her work.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Most people who don’t know me well peg me as a Mormon because I’m that nice.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Don't throw the ball at all -- that's a good way to get your trick shoulder worked up again.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

.Sandy Rivers: Get involved?^ Sandy Rivers : Get involved?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Who said get involved?^ Who said get involved?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm just saying we should have sex!^ I'm just saying we should have sex!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Ok, I'm just saying that it's my wedding too and I should have a say in it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Having sex is fun!^ Having sex is fun!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[he gives her his card and their news show starts]

.Little girl: Do you have a fiancée?^ Little girl : Do you have a fiancée?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Don’t you get lonely?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Then who do you live with?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Marshall was here yesterday, they just learned the word fiancée.^ Lily : Marshall was here yesterday, they just learned the word fiancée.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily and Marshall are married but still spend time with their friends as they face young adulthood in New York City.
  • HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER - Parents Television Council Family TV Guide Show Page 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.parentstv.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Lily : Marshall just ditched out on our own party.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Oh no, I don’t have a fiancée.^ Robin : Oh no, I don’t have a fiancée.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When Don says it's starting to get personal, Robin says no -- it would be getting personal if she told him what a lazy, obnoxious loser he is -- and proceeds to do just that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Little girl: Then who do you live with?^ Little girl : Do you have a fiancée?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Don’t you get lonely?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Then who do you live with?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Well, actually, I’ve got five dogs.^ Robin : No, I’ve got fiiive dogs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Well, actually, I’ve got five dogs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Little girl: Don’t you get lonely?^ Little girl : Do you have a fiancée?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Then who do you live with?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Don’t you get lonely?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: No, I’ve got fiiive dogs.^ Robin : No, I’ve got fiiive dogs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Well, actually, I’ve got five dogs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Little girl: My grandma has five cats and she gets lonely.^ Little girl : My grandma has five cats and she gets lonely.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Little girl : Don’t you get lonely?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He wanted to rest a little, but one of the girls inside the basket called out, "I can see through my window that you are resting.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Well, yeah, that’s cats, I’m not some pathetic cat lady, not that your grandmother is some pathetic cat lady – doeesss anybody else have questions?^ Please refer for the details and the answers for some of your questions.

.Little boy: Are you a lesbian?^ Little boy : Are you a lesbian?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: NO, ARE YOU? Jeez.^ Robin : No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : NO, ARE YOU? Jeez.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : No, you're not having ice cream for dinner just because you're sick.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[mumbles] Every woman that lives alone is not a lesbian.^ Every woman that lives alone is not a lesbian.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Mary the Paralegal [1.19]

.Barney: [To Ted] Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution?^ Barney : Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Ted, that girl had no intention of ever hooking up with you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney sneezes] Ted : Are you sick?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.^ Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Do you really think that’s true?^ "Marshall thinks you're a vampire."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Marshall : Do you really think that’s true?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Football: Now that Marshall is demanding a trade, what do you think the odds are that he is reunited with Cutlerfucker in Chicago??
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: Oh yeah, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers an extra fish for putting out.^ Your woman steps out to use the little girl's cave.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ Barney : Yeah, hanging out in bar, way better than hanging out in a coffee shop.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen.^ Marshall : Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Kaboom! .You’ve been lawyered!^ Marshall: "You've been LAWYERED." Also referenced and played with in "The Stinsons", where the actor playing Barney's son tried to give his character the catch phrase "Tyler no likey".
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]


Ted: Mary, I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.
.Mary: No Ted, I'm a paralegal.^ Mary : No, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Mary : No Ted, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: You're a hooker.^ Ted : You're a hooker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, you're a hooker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.^ Mary : No, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Mary : No Ted, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: No, you're a hooker.^ There’s no way for that to happen unless you’re banging drunken bar whores like in 40 Year Old Virgin.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Mary: No, I'm a paralegal.^ Mary : No, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Mary : No Ted, I'm a paralegal.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: [pause] You're a paralegal.^ Marshall : You're a good friend, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Abby : You're thinking about having sex with Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Oh, but Ted, if you get rid of the butterfly how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper from Reno with daddy issues?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Best Prom Ever [1.20]

.Robin: [She and Lily come out in fancy dresses] All right, what do you think?^ I think they all battle it out.
  • First Half Recap, California @ ASU; Second Half GameThread - House Of Sparky 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.houseofsparky.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I think reaching out as you have is wonderful!
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: [Looks up] Horrible.^ Barney : [Looks up] Horrible.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney looks at camera and gives a double thumbs-up] .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: You're gonna make such a great dad.^ You’re gonna die…OF JOY! .
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Lily : You're gonna make such a great dad.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you're going to mention shows that "had some good episodes" such as Heroes, you should list Supernatural.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb.^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Everything you're looking for is here: .
  • How I Met Your Mother on DVD / TV Shows on DVD Reviews / TV DVDs 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.tvparty.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You’re looking out for those rich other guys.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris?^ Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days, with the Ashlee and the Lindsay and the Paris ?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you haven't seen these and want to know what I'm talking about, simply: 1.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ These modern day Ebenezer Scrooges were actually questioning how they earned their fortunes.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.They all dress like strippers.^ They all dress like strippers.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's, "Go ho or go home."^ It's, "Go ho or go home."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: So, how was your first prom?^ Ted : So, how was your first prom?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ First you dip your toe on the water, you check the temperature see how it feels and then you slowly wade in.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Bilgi :How I Met Your Mother, Ted'e ve onun eine nasl k olduuna ilikin bir komedi.
  • "How I Met Your Mother" (2005) » How I Met Your Mother DivX ALTYAZILARI 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC divxplanet.com [Source type: General]

.Robin: You tell me.^ Robin : You tell me.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I hated my dress, my date got wasted and puked on me, there was a huge fight, and I kissed a girl.^ I hated my dress, my date got wasted and puked on me, there was a huge fight, and I kissed a girl.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I hate to finish there, but I'm out of endurance and my bed awaits.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I dated one of my fraternity brother’s exes for a bit, and the girl just started working in my office.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Ted: So, basically, it was a prom.^ Ted : So, basically, it was a prom.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: [laughs] Okay, I've missed you.^ Just in an "I've missed you" way.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : [laughs] Okay, I've missed you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Not in a "we're going to make out" way, not even in an "I forgive you" way.^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If they’re going to make this happen.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Just in an "I've missed you" way.^ Just in an "I've missed you" way.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Now that you’ve opened Pandora’s Box, so to speak, just try to enjoy the results, as lil’ wayne chrebet suggests.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ They’re not just lobbying for things, “Well, you could argue one way or the other.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I'll take what I can get.^ Ted : I'll take what I can get.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Milk [1.21]

.Wendy the Waitress: Be careful, the plate is very hot!^ Wendy the Waitress : Be careful, the plate is very hot!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Oh go on, touch it.^ Ted : Oh go on, touch it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : And if she's going home, why are we still heading to- oh my God.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Oh no, I mean, yes, when designing a bridge, always remember [points to writing] Make Adjustments, Go Get It Energized.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: [touches the plate] Ahh!^ Lily : [touches the plate] Ahh!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Sweet damn, that’s a hot plate!

[Lily admits to Ted about the arts program and how it could derail her and Marshall's wedding]
.Lily: There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake". So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really know if something is a mistake or not.^ Because, as you know, she was in that class .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ And you say, “Does this really serve them?
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Look at them and listen to what their "woos" are really saying.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And damn it, I made no mistakes.^ And damn it, I made no mistakes.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I've done all of this: my life, my relationship, my career mistakes-free.^ I've done all of this: my life, my relationship, my career mistakes-free.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ By simply agreeing to disagree and showing mutual respect, I have kept happy and fulfilling relationships with all these people in my life.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ My parents and I don’t see exactly eye-to-eye on all matters, but I am extremely close with them, and their acceptance of my views (and I of theirs) has strengthened our relationship.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

.Does any of this make sense to you ?^ Does any of this make sense to you ?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I don't know, you said 'mistake' a lot.^ Look Ted, I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I know it wasn’t an illegal hit, but you don’t need to slam the 40 year old man down like that.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ If you don't hear from us in the next few days, know that we went down fighting.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Come On [1.22]

[Ted and Barney try to recuit Barney's friend Penelope for the rain dance]
.Penelope: Why the hell should I help you?^ [Ted and Barney try to recuit Barney's friend Penelope for the rain dance] Penelope : Why the hell should I help you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Come on, I know it didn't work out between us but we did have a relationship.^ Barney : Come on, I know it didn't work out between us but we did have a relationship.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And do you know why; because italics, [Barney holds his hand up and then slants them to an angle] this night did not happen.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Penelope: We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me.^ Penelope : We had sex in your car twice and then you dumped me.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you wanted to spice up your sex life, you should have bought a pocket rocket or vibrating egg or anal beads.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

How is that a relationship?
Barney: Twice!
Penelope: [loudly] Barney, there is no way I'm- [student shushes her]
.Barney: Seriously, come on.^ Penelope : [loudly] Barney, there is no way I'm- [student shushes her] Barney : Seriously, come on.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Penelope, I really need to make it rain this weekend.
Penelope: Why?
Ted: There's this girl-
.Penelope: Oh, there's this girl!^ Ted : There's this girl- Penelope : Oh, there's this girl!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You know the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature.^ You know the traditional rain dance is a sacred prayer to nature.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted and Barney try to recuit Barney's friend Penelope for the rain dance] Penelope : Why the hell should I help you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know; you stole a blue French horn for me , you tried to make it rain - Ted : I did make it rain.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I don't think the great spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.^ I don't think the great spirit looks too kindly on white dudes who co-opt it to get laid.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It is to our great detriment, that we don't vigorously fight back against these cognitive fallacies, and against those who exploit them for their own gain and our detriment.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: But this is the girl I love!^ Ted : But this is the girl I love!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy!^ If it doesn't rain this weekend, she's gonna end up with the wrong guy!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You are so concerned with who you and Marshall are gonna end up in that front porch with-you know what, you can have it to yourselves.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ In "Ted Mosby: Architect", all the guys tear up when discussing the end of Field of Dreams.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Penelope: This wrong guy.^ Penelope : This wrong guy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Is he a huge jackass?
Ted: Absolutely.
.Penelope: Kinda like Barney?^ Penelope : Kinda like Barney?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Kinda.
Barney: Hey!!
.Penelope: You hit on my mom!^ Penelope : You hit on my mom!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: We weren't exclusive!^ Barney : We weren't exclusive!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Penelope: [To Ted] I'm in.

[Ted goes to Robin's apartment after the rains begin]
Ted: Robin! Hey!! Robin!!! .Oh, thank God you're here!^ Oh to prepare the dildo guy, rip on Skyline and Goldstar at the same time, that way you cover your chili bases down here.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ If you're doing any shopping on Amazon, please use this link to get to the site (a portion of your spending will come back here).
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ What you’re not considering here is that perhaps it’s not necessarily that your dick is too small, but that you’re just not using it right.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Robin: My camping trip got rained out!^ Robin : My camping trip got rained out!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ September 21, 2009 I spent a lot of my summer chilling out with my special lady buddy, Robin.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ [Lily just confessed to Ted the truth about engineering his breakups, especially that with Robin, which turned out to be accidental] Robin : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I know, I'm sorry.^ Ted : I know, I'm sorry.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: It's not your fault.^ Robin : It's not your fault.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Yeah, it is. .Come down here.^ You HAVE to come down here!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Come down here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, you have to come down here!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: But it's pouring! .You come up!^ You come up!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "If you do not come down instantly I will go up and bring you down," he cried, angrily; but Margerita did not stir.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: No, you have to come down here!^ By coming here you can understand how we operate and why we believe what we believe, therefore avoiding the many lies that theists perpetuate about us.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Says: January 12th, 2010 at 12:49 pm Amelia – thanks for coming here, it shows you’re interested in who we are.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ "If you do not come down instantly I will go up and bring you down," he cried, angrily; but Margerita did not stir.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Why?
Ted: Why? Because I MADE IT RAIN!!! That's what I did today!!! And that's enough! .I..I've done my part, now GET DOWN HERE!!!^ Many of my relatives are religious, and I’ve spent four years now with a wonderful man who has far more spirituality than I do.
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I..I've done my part, now GET DOWN HERE!!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: I'm not dressed, Ted!^ Robin : I'm not dressed, Ted!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Come up!
.Ted: I'm not coming up there, Robin.^ Ted : I'm not coming up there, Robin.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Saget!Ted says that Robin is actually up on the roof to smoke a cigarette.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Ted points out that the sun's coming up.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I'm not. .You HAVE to come down here!^ You HAVE to come down here!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Come down here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, you have to come down here!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Robin contemplates going outside, looks at the blue .French horn Ted gave her, and decides to go outside.^ [Robin contemplates going outside, looks at the blue French horn Ted gave her, and decides to go outside.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know; you stole a blue French horn for me , you tried to make it rain - Ted : I did make it rain.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

She opens her door to find Ted.]
Robin: I was gonna...
Ted: I know. [Ted and Robin kiss]

Season 2

Where Were We? [2.1]

[Marshall and Lily talk about Lily's program in San Francisco]
Marshall: So that's it? .We're breaking up?^ We're breaking up?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It's funny...when you date someone, you're taking one long course on who that person is, and when you break up, all of that stuff is useless.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Marshall, I'm sorry.^ One Dialogue Two Conversations : In 'Sorry, Bro' Lily shows up to Barney's work to ask him to give Marshall a pair of pants.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.I just, I just need to go to San Francisco and do this art program and-and figure out who I am outside of us, and the only way I can do that is if...if we don't talk for a while.^ Just thought I'd get that out of the way.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ [Marshall and Lily talk about Lily's program in San Francisco] Marshall : So that's it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I just, I just need to go to San Francisco and do this art program and-and figure out who I am outside of us, and the only way I can do that is if...if we don't talk for a while.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: For a while. .Try never, okay?^ Try never, okay?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You walk out of that door, and we're done.^ The guy’s an idiot for leaving the stuff out in plain sight with the door unlocked, but you talking to him is a basic admission that you’re up in his shit.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ If you're terrified of earthquakes, stay out of San Francisco.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

^ They're out the window before you can say "Marlboro box."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.You're never going to hear my voice again!^ "You're never going to be a network anchor."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're burning my ear!
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.[segue to Marshall talking to Ted] I should call her.^ Ted or Marshall being called a woman.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ Marshall talking to Ted] I should call her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When mocking some pants Marshall wants to wear, Ted says " Bel Biv Devo called, and not even they want those pants back."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

.Ted: No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it.^ You’re gonna die…OF JOY! .
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Marshall : So you gonna ask her out?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, I meant do you have a cold?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Whenever you feel like calling her, you come find me first...^ Do not feel discouraged if you find landing difficult at first.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Do you look like Denzel Washington and do gold krugerrands shoot out of your dick when you come?
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Waiting a week makes her think you were too scared to call and a month makes it seem like youre even more desperate than calling her the first night.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

and .I will punch you in the face.^ I will punch you in the face.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: You're a good friend, Ted.^ Marshall : You're a good friend, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're a good girl, you are!
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : You're pregnant?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]


[Robin complains about Marshall's depression after Lily leaves him.]
Robin: This has to stop! .Ted, we just started dating, we agreed we don't want to move too fast, and somehow, we have a baby.^ Ted, we just started dating, we agreed we don't want to move too fast, and somehow, we have a baby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When Don says it's starting to get personal, Robin says no -- it would be getting personal if she told him what a lazy, obnoxious loser he is -- and proceeds to do just that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Ted : I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.He can't feed himself, he cries a lot, he keeps us up all night.^ He can't feed himself, he cries a lot, he keeps us up all night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How do you sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But as David Corn and Kevin Drum just told us, on this side of the Atlantic, the specter of tighter regulation or higher taxes isn’t keeping American bankers up at night, to the contrary.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Have you tried breast feeding?^ Barney : Have you tried breast feeding?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted and Barney try to recuit Barney's friend Penelope for the rain dance] Penelope : Why the hell should I help you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall: "You've been LAWYERED." Also referenced and played with in "The Stinsons", where the actor playing Barney's son tried to give his character the catch phrase "Tyler no likey".
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

Nailed it!

The Scorpion and the Toad [2.2]

.Ted: Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.^ Ted : Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: Five AMERICAN bucks.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall and Barney head to the bedroom] Robin : So if it weren't for you, Ted and I would still be dating?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: You're on.^ Robin : You're on.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Clerk : Because you're on CANDID CAMERA! Robin : Really?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You're right...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Five AMERICAN bucks.^ Ted: Five AMERICAN bucks.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Five bucks says she still wants Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Dammit!

.Older Ted: The thing about a hangover is that everyone has their own special remedy.^ Older Ted : The thing about a hangover is that everyone has their own special remedy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Also Ted can sometimes be a huge douche and anal about certain things.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Television Tropes & Idioms 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tvtropes.org [Source type: General]

^ [Robin sees Ted's ex-girlfriends in the things he owns on the living room] Jeannie Radford, Phone Booth Girl : I'm Ted's college girlfriend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Waiter: Morning, guys!^ Waiter : Morning, guys!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

What can I getcha?
.Lily: Shhhhhh.....bring me the dirtiest, greasiest Tuna Melt you got.^ Lily : Shhhhhh.....bring me the dirtiest, greasiest Tuna Melt you got.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

And a milkshake.
.Waiter: For you, sir?^ Waiter : For you, sir?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Uggh....gravy.
.Waiter: Do you want that gravy on something?^ Waiter : Do you want that gravy on something?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: ...Surprise me.
.Robin: I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, heehee!^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Right, first being you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, heehee!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Just kidding, I'm good!^ Just kidding, I'm good!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: What are you so chirpy about?^ Lily : What are you so chirpy about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : I'm sorry, were we having a discussion about the degree to which you stabbed me?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Kara: [talking about Lily] You should sue her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: She's still drunk from last night.^ Ted : She's still drunk from last night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It was on last night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : [to Ted as he walks out of his bedroom] Hey, where the hell did you disappear to last night?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: I don't think so!^ Robin tells Don he's just jealous because he never had a shot at a network job, but she thinks she does, so she has to focus on her work.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin : I don't think so!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[looks around, then shakes her chest] WOOOO!

Brunch [2.3]

.Robin: I'm a genetic goldmine!^ Robin : I'm a genetic goldmine!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.No family history of diabetes or heart disease, and everyone has non-porous teeth and perfect eyesight.^ No family history of diabetes or heart disease, and everyone has non-porous teeth and perfect eyesight.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I had one schizophrenic uncle, but even he had perfect vision...^ I had one schizophrenic uncle, but even he had perfect vision...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

which was unfortunate for the people around the bell tower he was in.

[Barney is taking Ted's father to MacLaren's]
.Ted's mother: I'd join you, too, but I want to get up early for mass tomorrow.^ I wanted to make it up to you by giving you this."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You need some godly help fast from your church and pastor unless you want your child to grow up like its mother.

^ "Do you really want to show up to that interview smelling like smoke?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Barney: St. Peter's, 8:45 AM. It's my favorite service.
.Ted: Wait a minute.^ Ted : Wait a minute.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You're able to cross the threshold of a church?^ You're able to cross the threshold of a church?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted Mosby: Architect [2.4]

.Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot.^ Barney : Dude, lots of chicks think that architects are hot.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Think about that, you create something out of nothing.^ I think reaching out as you have is wonderful!
  • Friendly Atheist by @hemantsblog » Ask Richard: A Concerned Mother Asks Atheists About Her Teen Daughter’s Atheism 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC friendlyatheist.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Think about that, you create something out of nothing.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ KSK is a humor site dedicated solely to the NFL. Have you written something about another sport that you think we should see?
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.You're like God.^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Like what you're reading?
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

^ You're like God.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.There is no one hotter than God.^ There is no one hotter than God.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ PATRIOTIC ALLEGIANCE; There is no conclusive evidence one way or the other regarding the Commissioners affiliation with the Communist party.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ Well, there’s no way you can take that money and not at least be leaning in their direction, one way or another.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I love it when you quote Scripture.^ Ted : I love it when you quote Scripture.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : I love you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ 'Cause I love you guys and I'm gonna show you how much: Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, I bequeath unto you...the Fourth Slap.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Kara: [talking about Lily] You should sue her.^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ So, what they do is what you were talking about.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Brad: Oh, yeah? On what grounds, Kara?
Kara: On the grounds of... shut up! [She then takes a drink and spits alcohol everywhere.]
.Older Ted: That's our Attorney General.^ Older Ted: That's our Attorney General.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

World's Greatest Couple [2.5]

.Ted: Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment.^ Lily : Don't Ted-out about it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted: Okay, we HAVE to get Lily out of that apartment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted runs out of the apartment] Ted : [to Lily on the sidewalk] Lily, the window is open Lily : People, make a hole!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Her roommate is a raccoon.
.Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.^ Robin: I'd offer her my place, but I have dogs and she's allergic.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Dogs? .I live with her ex-boyfriend.^ I live with her ex-boyfriend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I think she's more allergic to that.
.Robin: What about your place, Barney?^ Marshall and Lily try to teach Robin and Barney about life as a couple a...
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

^ Barney comes clean to Robin about his insecurities.
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

^ Lily and Marshall get over zealous about pairing up with Barney and Robin.
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

.I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.^ I know it's shrouded in mystery, but it's gotta have a couch.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude??^ Barney: The Fortress of Barnitude??
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

No way.
.Robin: Oh come on.^ Robin: Oh come on.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

She's desperate.
.Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.^ Barney: Mmm, normally a prerequisite for the women I bring home, but pass.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Lily: Why would I want to change anything?^ Lily : Why would I want to change anything?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And why the fuck would you want to go to church, anyway?
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Now why would anyone want to become a citizen of this backwards country?
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

This place is great, except you don't have a TV.
.Barney: [Points to wall] See that wall?^ This place is great, except you don't have a TV. Barney : [Points to wall] See that wall?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Turns on TV] 300 inch flatscreen!^ [Turns on TV] 300 inch flatscreen!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy.^ They only sell them in Japan but I know a guy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And so, these guys who know the rules, they know the language, and they have the access, and they’re giving contributions to the people writing the rules, have all the advantages.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!^ They ship it over in a tugboat like freakin' King Kong!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: It hurts my eyes...^ Lily : It hurts my eyes...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Yeah, that doesn't go away.^ Barney : Yeah, that doesn't go away.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If a problem doesn't go away, usually just makes it bigger.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Aldrin Justice [2.6]

[Ted shows Lily the building model]
.Lily: Wow, you weren't kidding.^ [Ted shows Lily the building model] Lily : Wow, you weren't kidding.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : [Lily walks out, wearing her wedding dress] Wow, Lily, you look so beautiful!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It really DOES look like a giant penis.
Ted: I know, but for whatever reason, Mr. Druthers just doesn't see it.
.Lily: How can he NOT see it?^ Lily : How can he NOT see it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I mean there's the- [points at the model]
Ted: I know...
Lily: And the way it-
Ted: I know...
Lily: And the two little-
Ted I KNOW...

Lily: [talks about Mr. Druthers] He was mean. And that's why I took away his ball.
.Ted: What's the ball have to do with anything?^ Ted : What's the ball have to do with anything?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: Druthers have to be taught he can't behave like that. .When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys.^ When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Finally one day when old Wetehinen was away she thought, "I don't believe it would matter if I opened that door just a little crack and peeped in once!
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The eldest daughter said to the queen, she would take a blanket about her and would sit and watch what was going away with the kale.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

.The kid would be upset at first but then he'd learn to stop being mean.^ The kid would be upset at first but then he'd learn to stop being mean.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When I was teaching kindergarten, whenever a kid was mean, I would take away one of his toys.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ First Kid (1996): Simms would much rather be protecting the President, and Luke would rather just be a regular kid.
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Robin: Hey guys, what's going on?
.Ted: Lily stole my boss's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.^ Ted : Lily stole my boss's baseball signed three times by Pete Rose.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall just linked up with Ted and Barney at MacLaren's] Ted : [to Marshall] Barney says Lily asking you to wash the dishes is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Lily just confessed to Ted the truth about engineering his breakups, especially that with Robin, which turned out to be accidental] Robin : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Why? Was he being mean?

Swarley [2.7]

Ted: So I guess that decides it.
Marshall: Yep.
.Barney: Hanging out at a coffee place: not nearly as much fun as hanging out at a bar.^ If I haven't been fooled by hanging out to much at progressive blogs - such a list will look someting lika 1) Republican tax cuts.
  • Terrorball | Mother Jones 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC motherjones.com [Source type: Original source]

^ And Robin is doing yoga with her butt in the air and a butt hanging out of her mouth when Ted, Marshall and Barney enter the apartment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ The gang hangs out at Stella's place in New Jersey.
  • How I Met Your Mother 4×8: Woooo! | Dude Videos! 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Ted: Hey, what's that? [Looks at Marshall's cup]
Marshall: What?
.Ted: That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name!^ Ted : That cute coffee girl wrote a heart by your name!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : So your name's Tony?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[in a sing-song voice] Somebody has a crush on you!^ Somebody has a crush on you!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!^ Barney : [in a sing-song voice as well] Somebody thinks you're me!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : So what do you think of Robin?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney Be My Valentine-2000 (2000): In Barney Be My Valentine celebrate Valentine's Day with Barney and his friends as they sing songs, dance, and make Valentines Day cards at the Queen of Heart's Castle.
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


MacLaren's Pub Crowd: [as Barney enters] SWARLEY! [Carl the bartender plays the theme music to Cheers]

Atlantic City [2.8]

Marshall: Hi, we need a marriage license but we need to skip the waiting period because we're in love.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
.Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.^ Clerk : Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Clerk : Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?^ Lily : Oh, so can we see a judge?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
.Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.^ What would you say?
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Clerk : Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If the Republicans looked at what the, you know, see any anger out there about the economy.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: [clenched teeth] Why are you doing this to us?^ Marshall : [clenched teeth] Why are you doing this to us?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Well why did you break two of them?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Yeah, I would and you know why?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Clerk: Because you're on CANDID CAMERA!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say--
.Marshall: You know what, we get it.^ You are so concerned with who you and Marshall are gonna end up in that front porch with-you know what, you can have it to yourselves.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What you and Tony have, what I thought for a second you and I had, what I know that Marshall and Lily have, I want that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.^ Barney : If there was any shame in a dude getting a pedicure I don't think there would've been a feature about it in Details magazine.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It would've sucked and I don't blame The CW for passing on it.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ When Don says it's starting to get personal, Robin says no -- it would be getting personal if she told him what a lazy, obnoxious loser he is -- and proceeds to do just that.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Slap Bet [2.9]

Ted: Wha...I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
.Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret.^ Barney : Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What do you think Ted, should I go for it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..."^ The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But if that involves telling him you know about his nasty collection of sex toys, you’d probably be better off avoiding it.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

moment.
Marshall: The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney: Yeah. .That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.^ That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ That no one's going to get to you through me!
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He gives her all the keys of the house, saying to her, "You will go into all the rooms except this one," pointing out the key to her.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

[Flashback to Barney with different girls]
.Girl #1: It's a promise ring.^ [Flashback to Barney with different girls] Girl #1 : It's a promise ring.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.^ I made a pact with God to stay a virgin till I'm married.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Ohhhh.....
.Girl #2: I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!^ Girl #2 : I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Eww, I just threw up in my mouth a little.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Ah, whatever, just spit it out, asshole.
  • Kissing Suzy Kolber » Blog Archive » “Don’t Worry, It’s Not a Threat to You” Outshined by Dildos, a Loophole in the Bro Code and a Butt Secks Dissenter: The KSK Fantasy Sex/Football Mailbag | kissingsuzykolber.com 11 September 2009 14:12 UTC kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Barney: Ohhhh.....
Girl #3: I just turned 30.
Barney: Ohhhhhh.....
[back to present]
Barney: So trust me, you want to postpone knowing anything about each other for as long as possible
Ted: Hmm...I disagree. .If there's some potential "Ohhh...."^ If there's some potential "Ohhh...."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

moment, .I wanna know about it right away.^ I wanna know about it right away.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I mean, what's the alternative?
[flash to Robin and Ted at the altar]
.Priest: I now pronounce you man and wife.^ Robin and Ted at the altar] Priest : I now pronounce you man and wife.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I love you.^ Ted : I love it when you quote Scripture.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : I love you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ 'Cause I love you guys and I'm gonna show you how much: Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, I bequeath unto you...the Fourth Slap.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: I used to be a dude.^ Robin : I used to be a dude.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Ohhhhhh.....

[The gang watches 'Let's Go to the Mall']
.Lily: This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!!^ [The gang watches 'Let's Go to the Mall'] Lily : This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "This is by far the most disgusting, disparaging, stomach churning thing I've ever read, which means a lot if you've ever seen one of my husband's grocery lists."
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

Marshall: That's YOU?
Robin: Yes. .I had one minor hit.^ I had one minor hit.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls.^ I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ All Dogs Go To Heaven (1989): All Dogs Go To Heaven is a glorious, song-filled animated feature about a special dog who visits Earth on a unique mission.
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Time Warner Cable | On Demand 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.twondemand.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.^ For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Single Stamina [2.10]

.Marshall: Oh, poor me.^ Marshall : Oh, poor me.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I get to order yummy pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like but can't order because they'll be made fun of.^ I get to order yummy pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like but can't order because they'll be made fun of.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But we’ll let the banking regulators enforce them.” The groups that, to date, have really been held hostage by the people they’re supposed to regulate.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Because they weren’t regulated, so they didn’t really need to.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Dude.
.Marshall: They're delicious!^ Marshall : They're delicious!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: [to James] Oh man, I am so excited that you're here!^ Barney : [to James] Oh man, I am so excited that you're here!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're the only one here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun!^ It has been forever since I have been around anyone even remotely fun!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[to Ted, Marshall, Lily, and Robin] Huh...^ MacLaren's; Exterior: Robin, Lily and Marshall all smoke outside the bar as Robin rants that of course people watch her show -- like her good friends Marshall and Lily -- who so do not .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Saget!Ted explains that whenever Marshall fell off the wagon, Lily got dragged down with him.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ And Robin is doing yoga with her butt in the air and a butt hanging out of her mouth when Ted, Marshall and Barney enter the apartment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

yes offense.

How Lily Stole Christmas [2.11]

[After Ted tells Barney what he called Lily]
.Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!^ [Barney gets the gang a copy of a porn movie starring 'the other' Ted Mosby] Barney : Got it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [After Ted tells Barney what he called Lily] Barney : Ted Vivian Mosby!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: That's not my middle name...^ Ted : That's not my middle name...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Did you just use my name as a verb?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?^ Barney : You kiss your mother with that mouth?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Like you've never said that word?^ Ted : Like you've never said that word?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : [cuts in] Wait, if this was last year, why are you acting like was Oliver Twist?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...^ In this case, would not it better if my mother helped since your own is also not an angel?

^ My wife says "May you die with your mother the snake, and I'll be free".

^ "Dear friend," she said to the troll, "you really must run home to my mother with a little food again; and don't look into the sack."
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

[Barney sneezes]
.Ted: Are you sick?^ [Barney sneezes] Ted : Are you sick?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Is it sick to find maturity and experience sexy?^ Barney : Is it sick to find maturity and experience sexy?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: No, I meant do you have a cold?^ Ted : No, I meant do you have a cold?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, you're a hooker.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No, no, if you call her when she asks you not to, you're just gonna look weak and you're gonna regret it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: I'm fine. [blows his nose; Ted and Robin look at him] I'm fine. .My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.^ My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Girl #2 : I don't have an eating disorder, it's just when I put food in my mouth, I chew it and then I spit it out!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Below are some notices I sent out recently when trying to cast a fake family so that my mother would love me.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

.If you'll excuse me, holiday is the time when people are lonely and desperate.^ And I’ll see you next time.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ But, you know, people don’t raise a fuss about this, if there’s an angry editorial in the “New York Times” or we rail about it at “Mother Jones” or you do a commentary.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I'll be there with you at all of the important times.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

[Barney is lying in bed with a cold]
.Barney: This is a low moment for the Barnacle.^ [Barney is lying in bed with a cold] Barney : This is a low moment for the Barnacle.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead...don't look at me, I'm hideous.^ I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead...don't look at me, I'm hideous.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Right now she is looking out of the attic window."
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : I don't think now is the right time to buy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[hides his face in the pillows]
.Robin: You just look like a regular guy.^ Robin : You can't just call things!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You just look like a regular guy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Exactly, I'm a Ted!^ Barney : Exactly, I'm a Ted!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm wearing elastic waist fleece pants.^ I'm wearing elastic waist fleece pants.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: And isn't it more comfy?^ Robin : And isn't it more comfy?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: [begrudgingly] Yes.^ Barney : [begrudgingly] Yes.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Come on, you need to eat something.^ Robin : Come on, you need to eat something.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "There's no need for you to come home before twelve o'clock tonight," she said, "for I won't be able to have supper ready before then.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Too weak...to hold...bowl.^ Barney : Too weak...to hold...bowl.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Fine, I'll feed you.^ Robin : Fine, I'll feed you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But you'll be fine.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Marshall : Hey Robin, I'll give you twenty bucks if you can shoot it through the front door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Robin feeds him some soup; Barney spits it out.]
.Barney: [in a baby voice] Ouchy in my mouth...^ When Marshall sleepily inquires if she's okay, she answers, "Actually baby, my throat's a bit sore," in Harvey Fierstein 's voice.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I don't want it. .I want ice cream.^ I want ice cream.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: No, you're not having ice cream for dinner just because you're sick.^ Because, you say, in the same issue, no one’s fighting back.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin tells Don he's just jealous because he never had a shot at a network job, but she thinks she does, so she has to focus on her work.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You can never have too much chocolate syrup on vanilla ice cream.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Barney: But my throat hurts.^ Barney : But my throat hurts.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: No...
Barney: I HATE YOU!
Robin: Oh. [stands up to leave]
Barney: Don't leave me.

First Time In New York [2.12]

.Robin: [Downs drink] I can't believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk.^ Robin : [Downs drink] I can't believe my baby sister is planning to lose her virginity to a douche with a faux-hawk.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.This can't happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.^ This can't happen, you guys have help me talk her out of it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’re looking out for those rich other guys.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: A speech to talk a girl out of sex...
Ted: ...yeah I don't have any of those.
Barney: Discouraging premarital sex is against my religion.
Robin: Please? I'm her older sister; I'm supposed to teach her how to make good and responsible decisions.
.Lily: It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.^ You’ve already given me the package.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Things you've already fixed.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Lily : It's 2 o'clock and you've already had three Scotch and Sodas.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: That's why I need your help!^ Robin : That's why I need your help!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You need some godly help fast from your church and pastor unless you want your child to grow up like its mother.


[Marshall and Lily castigate Barney for describing his first time to have sex with a girl, which seems familiar to Lily]
Lily: That's 'Dirty Dancing'!
Ted: It was on last night.
.Marshall: No, it was two nights ago.^ Marshall : No, it was two nights ago.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

."She's Like the Wind" has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours.^ "She's Like the Wind" has been stuck in my brain for about 40 hours.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How about THE HIGH PITCH ERIC SHOW? It could be the most surreal hour in TV history (and likely to be picked-up for a second episode).
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I would require my guys to get it, especially in years like this when you have to worry about the flu and the swine.
  • The Hurt Locker: A Washington @ ASU Story - House Of Sparky 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.houseofsparky.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.I just got it out; now it's back in.^ I just got it out; now it's back in.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ So the woman said to her oldest daughter, "You must just go out and see if you can find our hen, for we must have it back, even if we have to fetch it out of the mountain."
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Now that Barney is back on the market, he has decided to crack out his p...
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

.Damn you, Swayze!^ Damn you, Swayze!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Columns [2.13]

.Barney: [picks up dart] Hey, guys!^ Barney : [picks up dart] Hey, guys!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Hey, guys, we're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to nothing !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Guess what I got? A new dart!
.Robin: Oh, wow, a new dart!^ Robin : Oh, wow, a new dart!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Hey, that new dart is great!^ Ted : Hey, that new dart is great!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!^ Robin : I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You know what it is?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : I know you are.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Oh yes, Robin, I just love "newdart"...”nude art". "Nude art"!
[Barney, Robin, and Ted laugh.]
.Marshall: Okay, all right, so what, you found the painting, didn't you?!?^ Marshall : You okay?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : I know Barney gave you that painting!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : [She and Lily come out in fancy dresses] All right, what do you think?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: I knew this day would come.^ Lily : I knew this day would come.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: Why is that?
Lily: Because I didn't hide it very well.

.Carl: Hey Marshall, whataya have?^ Carl : Hey Marshall, whataya have?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: What I’ll have, oh I don’t know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!^ Marshall : What I’ll have, oh I don’t know maybe a beer and that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marhshall's nude painting hangs over the bar downstairs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

^ And they say, “Well, you know, maybe we’ll have this little agency write its little rules.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

Carl: Oh, I’m sorry. .That painting is property of the bar.^ That painting is property of the bar.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: I know Barney gave you that painting!^ Barney : I know you are.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Alright, you know what, Carl?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : I know Barney gave you that painting!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Carl: I don’t know what you’re talking about...^ And they’re in charge, they get people, you know, right now, banks are in, you know, nobody wants to be around Goldman Sachs, right?
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ If the Republicans looked at what the, you know, see any anger out there about the economy.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ NJ Policewoman : No, [takes off helmet and unzips uniform blouse] you're about to be under me.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!^ Marshall : Whatever he is paying you I’ll pay you that plus ten bucks!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Finally, Arthur does the double finger guns thing and says, "I'll see you later...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Carl: Doubt it.
.Marshall: Whatever he is paying you I’ll pay you that plus ten bucks!^ Marshall : Whatever he is paying you I’ll pay you that plus ten bucks!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Whatever he is paying you I'll pay you double!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Hey Robin, I'll give you twenty bucks if you can shoot it through the front door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Carl: Doubt it.
.Marshall: Alright, you know what, Carl?^ Marshall : Alright, you know what, Carl?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Yeah, I would and you know why?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : You know what, I don't care, I've been with the same woman for too long.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You just lost yourself a regular customer!!!^ You just lost yourself a regular customer!!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You just look like a regular guy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Carl: Doubt it.

Monday Night Football [2.14]

.Ted: So let me get this straight.^ Ted : So let me get this straight.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?^ A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Not one bad thing to say about him..Especially if you watch HIMYM, cracks you up .
  • Perez Hilton: In Case You Missed It…. 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Sandy Rivers : Why not, we’re both available, we’re both attractive, we’re both good at it, at least I’m good at it, and even if you’re not, don’t worry, I’ll have a good time either way.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
.Barney: Suits are full of joy.^ Barney : Suits are full of joy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.^ They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: Sartorial?
.Barney: Of, or pertaining to, tailors or their trade.^ Barney : Of, or pertaining to, tailors or their trade.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Suits are for the living. .That's why, when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it.^ She barely had time to slam to the trapdoor before the troll came to her and asked, "Will you be my sweetheart?"
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Early on the morrow, said the youngest one to her mother, as she wove a stocking, "I will go out with my stocking today, and I will watch the gray horse.
  • How the Devil Married Three Sisters 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC www.pitt.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ And I'm not sure why he said that, the way he said it, because the time of the show didn't change.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.BUCK NAKED. Yeah.^ BUCK NAKED. Yeah.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It's gonna be awesome. .Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies.^ Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[In a high-pitched voice] What up?^ Marshall : [in a high-pitched voice] Whaaaaaaat?!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How about THE HIGH PITCH ERIC SHOW? It could be the most surreal hour in TV history (and likely to be picked-up for a second episode).
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ [In a high-pitched voice] What up?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Raises his hand in anticipation for a high-five]
[Everybody walks past Barney except Marshall, who giggles and gives him a high-five]

.Ted: [tries to convince the group of watching the recorded Super Bowl together a day after because of the wake for Mark] Who's in?^ Ted : [tries to convince the group of watching the recorded Super Bowl together a day after because of the wake for Mark] Who's in?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ From the news desk, Robin is trying to wake her cameraman, Mike, as Saget!Ted tells his kids, "And then, everything changed."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ [Ted tries to convince Barney and Robin to apologize to Marshall and Lily for turning down their Couples Nights] Ted : Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: I'm in!
Robin: I'm in.
Marshall: I'm in!
Barney: What the hell. I'm in! HIGH-FIVE!!! [raises his hand]
Ted: Dude... we are at a wake!
.Barney: [looks around] Sorry....^ Barney : [looks around] Sorry....
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted comforts her] Ted : Look, all that stuff I told Barney, it was personal knowledge between you and me, and I'm sorry.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[puts his hand over the table and speaks in a low and grave voice] solemn low-five!

Lucky Penny [2.15]

.Marshall: [giving himself a pep talk in the mirror before his run] This is going to be your best run yet.^ Marshall : [giving himself a pep talk in the mirror before his run] This is going to be your best run yet.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Before you know it, you're stuck in a dead-end gig, surrounded by people who are going nowhere, doing the news in your tighty-whities.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I can only give you one piece of advice about fighting: don't get into a fight with your uncle Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You are going to accomplish all of your goals.^ They also are fearful of taking Wall Street on, because they’ve been taught that if, you know, if the DOW falls, if you take on the big banks, it’s going to be bad for all of us.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Before you know it, you're stuck in a dead-end gig, surrounded by people who are going nowhere, doing the news in your tighty-whities.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ And you can have all your other options, but you’ve got to at least tell people they can have that.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.[monotone] You are a robot sent from the future to win the Marathon.^ You are a robot sent from the future to win the Marathon.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

You are Marshall…You are Marshall….You are Marshall!…Yeaaaahhh!!!.

Barney: [talking with Lily about waiting in line for the wedding-dress sale] I can’t go, I’ve got this thing…
Lily: What thing?
Barney: ...a penis.

Stuff [2.16]

[Robin sees Ted's ex-girlfriends in the things he owns on the living room]
Jeannie Radford, Phone Booth Girl: I'm Ted's college girlfriend. He made me 12 mix tapes. .How many has he made you?^ How many has he made you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How many do you want me to do?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You wouldn't believe how many baby things you can accomplish while watching Mail Call or Basic Training .
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Allison Moses, Lamp Girl: He calls you a sweetie pie?^ He called me a sweetie pie.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Allison Moses, Lamp Girl : He calls you a sweetie pie?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you call a girl right away and other guys follow suit, eventually women will expect timely correspondence and thats an unnecessary burden for everyone.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

.He called me a sweetie pie.^ He called me a sweetie pie.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Allison Moses, Lamp Girl : He calls you a sweetie pie?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lauren Stein, Throw Pillow Girl: I'm stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours!^ Lauren Stein, Throw Pillow Girl : I'm stupid, but my rack is bigger than yours!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: [to Lily during his play] Moist.^ Barney : [to Lily during his play] Moist.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Moist. Moist...
.Older Ted: This was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show.^ Older Ted : This was the first 40 minutes of Barney's show.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin slaps Ted; woman is amazed] Barney : In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Arrivederci, Fiero [2.17]

[Ted and Marshall are stuck in the snow after Marshall admits he wants to marry Lily someday.]
.Ted: [to Marshall, who's cuddling with him to remain warm] Marshall, are you still thinking about Lily?^ When Marshall declines, Arthur calls him Jeffrey and waxes nostalgic about the bond between smoking buddies.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Berate him about why he's being a jerk and if he wants to fight you say, "Yeah, like I'm gonna fight you over a sporting event."
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ Ted asks Marshall to pass the onion rings, and Marshall snaps back at him.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Marshall: Yeah.
.Ted: Please stop!^ Ted : Please stop!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Robin: Shut up! Now listen to me. The clock is ticking. .Okay, first thing: we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage.^ Okay -- first things first.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Next, what we need to take care of are the messy parts; the pools that have collected.^ Next, what we need to take care of are the messy parts; the pools that have collected.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We gotta soak that soup up.^ We gotta soak that soup up.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Last...is the smell. .We gotta cover up that Tam Kuk Gye.^ We gotta cover up that Tam Kuk Gye.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You mentioned cigars?^ You mentioned cigars?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving...^ Lily : There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Hand me those chopsticks.^ Robin : Hand me those chopsticks.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[5 minutes later, Robin and Lily are smoking cigars]
.Robin: Mmm, hey, how 'bout some tunes?^ Robin and Lily are smoking cigars] Robin : Mmm, hey, how 'bout some tunes?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : [reading "Holly's" text message for Ted] "Hey Baby, I picked up some take out from Gennaro`s, be home soon."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[500 Miles by The Proclaimers starts playing] Ohh, great song!^ Miles by The Proclaimers starts playing] Ohh, great song!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Lily shudders]
.Lily: These cigars aren't helping at all.^ [Lily shudders] Lily : These cigars aren't helping at all.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ So, you’ve got all these people who aren’t really making any more money.
  • Mother Jones Spreads The News | Newsroom Magazine 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC newsroom-magazine.com [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: [grinning] Yeah, this was a terrible idea.^ Robin : [grinning] Yeah, this was a terrible idea.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.^ Lily : Uggh, now it just smells like a...homeless guy threw up in here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall just linked up with Ted and Barney at MacLaren's] Ted : [to Marshall] Barney says Lily asking you to wash the dishes is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You just look like a regular guy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Robin stares at her in amazement; .Lily looks back at her.^ [Robin stares at her in amazement; Lily looks back at her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

They have their alibi.]
[flash to present]
.Marshall: The broken windows?^ Marshall : The broken windows?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: We had to make it look realistic!^ Lily : We had to make it look realistic!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Well why did you break two of them?^ Marshall : Well why did you break two of them?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And do you know why; because italics, [Barney holds his hand up and then slants them to an angle] this night did not happen.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Then why, when we said "Hey, Moby" did you come over here?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Uhhh...it looked like fun when she did it so I wanted to try.^ Outside, when Robin pronounces the two guys "smokers," just like the rest of them, Barney tries to put on the brakes.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Marshall: I can't believe this whole time it was you guys; I've been blaming Really Tan Dancing Leotard guy.^ Well I can't believe I'm saying this because you've taught me so much and I owe you the world, but I think I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on serious relationships.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ Buy a really cool car that you've always wanted.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ If you call a girl right away and other guys follow suit, eventually women will expect timely correspondence and thats an unnecessary burden for everyone.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

Moving Day [2.18]

[Barney's talking on phone to Ted in a deep voice]
Ted: Barney...
Barney: This isn't Barney. ...but I hear that guy's awesome. All right. .Listen very carefully.^ Listen very carefully.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You will get your stuff back if you are able to complete a series of challenges.^ But seriously, there are effective measures and precautions that you can take to help preserve your Not a Father status.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ You can find a lot of stuff to buy for your child in this place.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ He will show you that once everything is done your friends, family, and even complete strangers...
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Number one, put on the suit.^ Number one, put on the suit.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Number two, meet me at MacLaren's in an hour.^ Number two, meet me at MacLaren's in an hour.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: How will I know who to look for since we've never met?^ Ted : How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Look Ted, I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I hope someday in Heaven I get to shake his hand because I've never met a hero before.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[Awkward pause]
.Barney: ...I look like Barney.^ [Awkward pause] Barney : ...I look like Barney.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself] Woman : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list.^ Barney : Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Shakes Barney's hand] Barney : I know, this is the happiest moment of my life!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...^ The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: It was never your truck.^ Ted : It was never your truck.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: If Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.^ Barney : If Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Ted, I could listen to this guilt trip all day, but don't you have to get back up to the inn?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: It was a rental.
.Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango."^ Barney : Number ten, "The Winne-Bango."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck."^ Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her."^ Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. .[they all laugh] Number six, "Feels on Wheels!"^ Later, Robin surprises them while they're all sitting around smoking, but she tells them not to feel badly.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ After all, they gave us the wheel.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." .Number four, "The 18-Squealer."^ Number four, "The 18-Squealer."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Number three, "The Esca-Laid."^ Number three, "The Esca-Laid."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Number two, "The Slam-Boni."^ Number two, "The Slam-Boni."
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

and... the number one thing .I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...^ The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : If Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

"The '69 Chevy."

Bachelor Party [2.19]

Barney: Alright, fine, the stripper at Stewart’s Bachelor Party was a 15.
Ted: [Appalled] She was 15?
Barney: A 15. Like in blackjack.
.Ted: As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?^ Ted : As in, not sure whether you’d hit it?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Future Ted : Kids, I can't tell you whether fighting is good or bad; and I can't tell you not to do it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Exactly!
Ted: Nice.

[Flashback of Barney talking to Lily in San Francisco]
Barney: Yeah, yeah, yeah... .Barney what are you doing here...I can't believe it's really you...Come in, have a seat...You want some tea...I know the apartment's small but I don't need much space...^ Barney : Oh yeeeahh, you just KNOW she likes it dirty.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I know it wasn’t an illegal hit, but you don’t need to slam the 40 year old man down like that.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin : Come on, you need to eat something.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

let me show you some of my paintings...I think it's some of my best work ever. JUST STOP IT! Lily, you have to come home. .You and Marshall belong together.^ You and Marshall belong together.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.The two of you have something most people search their whole lives for and never find.^ You never know when you might find yourself north of the border and south of her's.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

^ Find it exciting to actually have something to talk to people about.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

.I know you love him and if you knew what he was going through right now you wouldn't be here for one more second.^ That no one's going to get to you through me!
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Like I'm not going through enough right now?"
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ No one knows more about them then me.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.I bought you a ticket home.^ I bought you a ticket home.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you will lose him forever.^ Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you will lose him forever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Do you really think that’s true?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just tell him it's really important for him to be here, and before you know it, he'll be at the Board Game Convention in Toledo giving your braces money to some guy claiming to be Milton Bradley .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I can't stand the thought of that happening and I cannot keep stealing chicks from him forever. .Never ever tell anyone I was here, I will deny it tooth and nail; this trip never happened.^ Never ever tell anyone I was here, I will deny it tooth and nail; this trip never happened.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin and Barney just had sex] Robin : Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Barney slams the door behind him, but opens it again] Hey, if you had three hours to kill before your flight, what would you do...^ Barney : You hit him with a chair?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney slams the door behind him, but opens it again] Hey, if you had three hours to kill before your flight, what would you do...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alcatraz or Fisherman's Wharf?^ Alcatraz or Fisherman's Wharf?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Showdown [2.20]

.Robin: [Lily walks out, wearing her wedding dress] Wow, Lily, you look so beautiful!^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Look at those girls, Lily.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : [Lily walks out, wearing her wedding dress] Wow, Lily, you look so beautiful!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: I know, I'm beautiful! I'm a fairy princess! .[She lifts her arms up and the dress falls down to her waist, exposing her breasts] I'm too skinny for my dress!!^ [She lifts her arms up and the dress falls down to her waist, exposing her breasts] I'm too skinny for my dress!!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Barney wants to know the identity of his father]
.Young Barney: Mom, who's my dad?^ [Barney wants to know the identity of his father] Young Barney : Mom, who's my dad?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There was a young lass from Killarney, Who promised a gentleman named Arnie, That she only was his Though a fat lie this is, 'Cause last night she was screaming O'Barney.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

.A lot of kids at school know who their dad is.^ A lot of kids at school know who their dad is.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney wants to know the identity of his father] Young Barney : Mom, who's my dad?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Who's mine?
.Barney's Mom: Oh, I don't know.^ Some of us don't know where we stand -- but as usual, Barney is here to the rescue with this very helpful quiz.
  • How I Met Your Mother Community - CBS.com 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.cbs.com [Source type: General]

That guy. [points to TV set showing a broadcast of The Price Is Right]

Something Borrowed [2.21]

Barney: May I have everybody's attention...[Everyone ignores Barney] It's for the bride.
[Everyone stops talking & turns towards Barney]

Ted: Dude... you shaved your fricking head?
Marshall: Yeah! Yeah, but it's good. .I'll just shave it all off.^ I'll just shave it all off.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

What a great solution! Just be bald, cos it's cool, right? .Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, Britney Spea- [Looks in mirror] Oh, God, what did I do!?^ [Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself] Woman : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, Britney Spea- [Looks in mirror] Oh, God, what did I do!?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Do not fall into the ‘oh, they are our Cards and look how well they did’ trap.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.How could you let me shave my head!?^ How could you let me shave my head!?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But before you all start yelling, "Child Abuse", you should see how my leg looks!
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Ted: What!?
.Marshall: You're the worst best man ever!^ Marshall : You're the worst best man ever!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : You're a good friend, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Wow, you're creating a holiday.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I hate you!

Something Blue [2.22]

.Lily: We should come up with a whole new last name.^ Lily : We should come up with a whole new last name.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Oh, Persephone, oh Daphne, these will make great additions to our up-and-coming mother-daughter exhibit at the Met.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm also guessing he's a giant tool, since he looks awfully young to have worked on that many shows prior to arriving at Come On, GET UP New York!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Marshall: Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker.^ Marshall : Oh, that's easy; Lily and Marshall Skywalker .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff.^ Lily : Lily and Marshall Hasselhoff .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: Oh, got it. .Lily and Marshall Awesome.^ Lily and Marshall Awesome.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Hey have you met the Awesomes?^ Hey have you met the Awesomes?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : You're the most awesome person I've ever met.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily, Marshall their son Totally and their daughter Freaking?

.Ted: Seriously, where do you see yourself in five years?^ Ted : And what do you get when you get five in a row?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Where do you see yourself?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Seriously, where do you see yourself in five years?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Where do you see yourself?^ Robin : Where do you see yourself?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : See you on the other side.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Honestly, in five years, I'd probably want to be married.^ Ted : Honestly, in five years, I'd probably want to be married.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Saget!Ted tells the kids that Uncle Marshall doesn't want them to know this, but he smoked off and on over the years.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • How I Met Your Mother - Last Cigarette Ever - Yahoo! TV 16 January 2010 1:44 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Look Ted, I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: And I'd probably want to be in Argentina.^ Robin : And I'd probably want to be in Argentina.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Argentina?
.Robin: Or Tokyo, or Paris.^ Robin : Or Tokyo, or Paris.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Look Ted, I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years.^ Look Ted, I don't know where I'm gonna be in five years.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Seriously, where do you see yourself in five years?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : How will I know who to look for since we've never met?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I don't wanna know, I want my life to be an adventure.^ I don't wanna know, I want my life to be an adventure.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life, and I think you should go back to yours.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't know, if I would change my mind about marriage and kids, it's nice to know that you were there.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: We have an expiration date, don't we?^ Ted : We have an expiration date, don't we?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted, we just started dating, we agreed we don't want to move too fast, and somehow, we have a baby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Season 3

Wait For It [3.01]

[Ted confronts Robin over Gael leaving Spanish massage oil on his apartment]
.Ted: Look, us breaking up was the right thing, but it took some time to get over you, you know.^ Barney : [To Ted] Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted confronts Robin over Gael leaving Spanish massage oil on his apartment] Ted : Look, us breaking up was the right thing, but it took some time to get over you, you know.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : You have a time sheet?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I'm still getting over you, but you, you were over the minute they started the in-flight movie.
Robin: Over it? .My first three days in Argentina, I cried my eyes out.^ My first three days in Argentina, I cried my eyes out.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And when Grace needs a goopy eye cleaned out, there's my wife microwaving a wet wash cloth to get it warmed up.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I missed you so much.^ I missed you so much.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I wanted to go and prove how adventurous I am, but the truth is, it was really lonely.^ I wanted to go and prove how adventurous I am, but the truth is, it was really lonely.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I thought I wanted that job, but I want to come back to my real life, and I think you should go back to yours.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And that's why Gael happened.^ And that's why Gael happened.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: You were trying to win the breakup?^ Ted : You were trying to win the breakup?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted and Barney try to recuit Barney's friend Penelope for the rain dance] Penelope : Why the hell should I help you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted, you're the most romantic guy I know; you stole a blue French horn for me , you tried to make it rain - Ted : I did make it rain.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: I was trying to survive it.

[Barney is in his office, working late. He answers his phone]
Barney: Go for Barney.
.Marshall: Hey man.^ Marshall : Hey man.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It's Marshall. .Check your email, sent you something.^ Check your email, sent you something.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ First you dip your toe on the water, you check the temperature see how it feels and then you slowly wade in.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really know if something is a mistake or not.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: What is it?
.Marshall: A new website.^ Marshall : A new website.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Slapcountdown.com
.Barney: [Barney looks at his computer screen, which displays a timer counting down days, hours, minutes and seconds.] What does this mean?^ Ted and Barney chase Maggie down but it's too late, although Barney does...
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

Marshall? .[Marshall has already hung up] No...^ [Marshall has already hung up] No...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

NOOOOOOOOO!

We're Not From Here [3.02]

Barney: Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
Robin: My journey was transformative and I reassert my committment to both the aforementioned paramour & the philosophies he espouses.
Gael: What are we talking of? Baseball?
.Barney: It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials.^ Barney : It's all gonna return to masticate you in the glutials.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : You look so classy and nice, you're gonna stick out like a sore thumb.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Matthew Panning : So Barney, great to hear from you after all this time, what's going on?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Support my hypothesis, Ted.^ Support my hypothesis, Ted.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.^ Ted : I'm just jubilant my former paramour is jubilant.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Did you just use my name as a verb?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Lily just confessed to Ted the truth about engineering his breakups, especially that with Robin, which turned out to be accidental] Robin : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Robin: Quick announcement: I am glad you are here, fellow travelers.^ Robin : Quick announcement: I am glad you are here, fellow travelers.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, heehee!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

A couple rules. .Ah, not rules, let's call them "Guidelines for Harmonious Living". Guideline for Harmonious Living #1: The kitchen sink is for dishes, the toilet is for pee-pee.^ Guideline for Harmonious Living #1: The kitchen sink is for dishes, the toilet is for pee-pee.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ah, not rules, let's call them "Guidelines for Harmonious Living".
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.GFHL #2: Marijuana is illegal in the United States, yes, even when baked into a blueberry muffin, that someone might mistakenly eat for breakfast, before leaving for their job as a TV newcaster.^ GFHL #2: Marijuana is illegal in the United States, yes, even when baked into a blueberry muffin, that someone might mistakenly eat for breakfast, before leaving for their job as a TV newcaster.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

."This just in, look at my hand, how weird is my hand?"^ "This just in, look at my hand, how weird is my hand?"
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But before you all start yelling, "Child Abuse", you should see how my leg looks!
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

is not an appropriate thing to say on the air. And #3-
[everyone cheers]
Robin: AND #3 IS KEEP THE NOISE TO A MINIMUM!

The Third Wheel [3.03]

Ted: What? We agreed! I suited up!
Barney: You take too long to get ready.
.Ted: What are you talking about?^ You can’t talk any trash about Whiz.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I got the low-maintenance, just-rolled-out-of-bed look.^ I got the low-maintenance, just-rolled-out-of-bed look.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: Which takes about an hour and a half of waxing, tugging and teasing to achieve.
Barney: And then he starts on his hair. Ace!

.Marshall: Okay, new scenario: We're caught in a car crash, you die, I'm left paralyzed.^ And while you're at it, enjoy this bit of news!
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ And if you're new to the site (and really bored), go check out the Journal Archives.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Two sexy nurses come in with a 6-pack of wine coolers.^ Two sexy nurses come in with a 6-pack of wine coolers.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I try to blink at them in Morse code. [bats eyes] Please... no... .I love my dead wife.^ I love my dead wife.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

But they're medical professionals and I have to assume this is good for me.
.Lily: Fine, sleep with your nurses.^ Lily : Fine, sleep with your nurses.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Tonight you ride the unicycle.^ Tonight you ride the unicycle.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: [Muttering] Already did this morning.

Little Boys [3.04]

.Robin: What's my "but"? You know, I'm really nice, but...^ Robin : I did not know you were such a fan of "newdart", Barney!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I be all sympathetic and before you know it, you're naked in my apartment shouting, "Oh-oh, Ba-ar-nee-ee-ee!"
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you will lose him forever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted [voiceover]: But she's afraid of commitment.^ Ted [voiceover] : But she's afraid of commitment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily [voiceover]: But she's a gun nut.^ Lily [voiceover] : But she's a gun nut.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney [voiceover]: But she's... Canadian.
.Marshall [voiceover]: But she doesn't like Field of Dreams.^ Marshall [voiceover] : But she doesn't like Field of Dreams .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Guys, I don't know what to say, I mean it's Thanksgiving, but thanks just doesn't seem like its enough.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

All: I can't think of anything.

Doug: You're supposed to pour the milk first!
.Robin: No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!^ Robin : Where do you see yourself?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Guess I'm impressed by how much you remembered.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : See you on the other side.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Doug: It tastes better milk first!^ Doug : It tastes better milk first!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Doug : You're supposed to pour the milk first!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: It tastes the same!^ Robin : It tastes the same!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Doug: Why are you wearing my dad's pants?^ Doug : Why are you wearing my dad's pants?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Robin: Milk first it is.

How I Met Everyone Else [3.05]

.Blah Blah: You guys dated?^ Blah Blah : You guys dated?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

For how long?
Robin: A year. But, don't worry. .The relationship wasn't that good.^ The relationship wasn't that good.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

At the end, it was mostly about sex. Which wasn't that good. I was the problem. .I just lie there.^ I just lie there.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.But Ted is very good.^ But Ted is very good.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

He will... get you where you need to go.

[flashback to when Marshall met Barney]
.Marshall: I'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend.^ Marshall met Barney] Marshall : I'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Yes, you are, with the hottie that just walked in.^ Barney : Yes, you are, with the hottie that just walked in.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Oh yeeeahh, you just KNOW she likes it dirty.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall just linked up with Ted and Barney at MacLaren's] Ted : [to Marshall] Barney says Lily asking you to wash the dishes is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Look at her. .[Lily walks in the bar] How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?^ [Lily walks in the bar] How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How I Met Your Mother - Bar...
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

^ How I Met Your Mother - How I Met Your Mother - Too Much Awesome .
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]
  • How I Met Your Mother - AT&T Entertainment 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC entertainment.att.net [Source type: General]

Marshall: There's no comparison. What do you think Ted, should I go for it?
Ted: Don't do it, man, think about Lily?
.Marshall: You know what, I don't care, I've been with the same woman for too long.^ Marshall : Lily, you are the most incredible woman I know.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : You know what, I don't care, I've been with the same woman for too long.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’ve got a great package, Marshall.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I need me some strange.^ I need me some strange.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Yes, yes! .Okay, pep talk!^ Okay, pep talk!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't.^ You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you.^ You walk out of that door, and we're done.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're way out of practice and she's way too hot for you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Not in a "we're going to make out" way, not even in an "I forgive you" way.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.So, remember, it's not about scoring.^ So, remember, it's not about scoring.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's about believing you can do it, even though you probably can't.^ It's about believing you can do it, even though you probably can't.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ She saw that tweed jacket which basically says you're not interested in nor probably even capable of having sex and she thought, hey, free lodging.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Go get 'em, tiger!^ Go get 'em, tiger!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Marshall gets up and goes up to the bar] Poor guy's gonna crash and burn.^ [Marshall gets up and goes up to the bar] Poor guy's gonna crash and burn.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You are so concerned with who you and Marshall are gonna end up in that front porch with-you know what, you can have it to yourselves.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted tries to convince Barney and Robin to apologize to Marshall and Lily for turning down their Couples Nights] Ted : Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Marshall and Lily kiss, Barney spits out his drink.] That man is a god.

I'm Not That Guy [3.06]

.Barney: [to Marshall, who is talking about being recruited by Jeff Coatsworth] Oh, he's good.^ Barney : [to Marshall, who is talking about being recruited by Jeff Coatsworth] Oh, he's good.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : [talking with Lily about waiting in line for the wedding-dress sale] I can’t go, I’ve got this thing… Lily : What thing?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney just discovered he did not sire a baby with his latest sexual conquest and tells Marshall about it] Barney : Marshall, great news - I'm not a father.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Classic seduction technique.^ Classic seduction technique.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I use it all the time. .First, I buy her, and by her I mean you, a drink.^ First, I buy her, and by her I mean you, a drink.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Can I buy you a drink?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Then I pretend to be interested in whatever she cares about, for you that would be the.. environment. .I be all sympathetic and before you know it, you're naked in my apartment shouting, "Oh-oh, Ba-ar-nee-ee-ee!"^ You're-oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I be all sympathetic and before you know it, you're naked in my apartment shouting, "Oh-oh, Ba-ar-nee-ee-ee!"
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Oh my god, you're on probation?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

And by you, I mean her...

[Barney gets the gang a copy of a porn movie starring 'the other' Ted Mosby]
Barney: Got it. .Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect staring Ted Mosby.^ Ted Mosby: Architect [2.4] .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted] Woman : Oh, Sex Architect, you've done it again.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect staring Ted Mosby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: Terrific.
.Barney: [loads DVD] You'll notice I'm in the credits.^ Barney : I'll tell you what the big deal is.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : [loads DVD] You'll notice I'm in the credits.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Within a triad of solar periods, you'll recognize your dearth of compatability with your paramour and conclude your association.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I did some location scouting.^ I did some location scouting.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[DVD plays, showing Lance Hardwood and a woman]
.Lance Hardwood: [taps keys] Here are the plans for the new International Sex Building.^ [DVD plays, showing Lance Hardwood and a woman] Lance Hardwood : [taps keys] Here are the plans for the new International Sex Building.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect staring Ted Mosby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: That really looks like our apartment.^ Ted : That really looks like our apartment.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Our names will forever be shrouded in-- Barney : [with bridesmaid on his arm] Hey Ted, Ted, Ted, look!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It really DOES look like a giant penis.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: It is. .Oh, I should return these.^ Oh, I should return these.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[gives flat keys back to Ted]
.Woman: Oh, Sex Architect, you've done it again.^ Marshall : You know what, I don't care, I've been with the same woman for too long.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted] Woman : Oh, Sex Architect, you've done it again.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Let's go celebrate on the couch.^ Let's go celebrate on the couch.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall, Ted, Robin and Lily: OOOOHH!!! [stand up suddenly from the couch in disgust]

Dowisetrepla [3.07]

.Marshall: Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?!^ You wouldn't believe how many baby things you can accomplish while watching Mail Call or Basic Training .
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ But you never know how many authorities might be reading this entry.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassry that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House!^ It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassry that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after!^ We watched the news and talked to each other all day long.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! .We're getting our own place!^ We're getting our own place!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily:... .Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby.^ Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Lily: I don't think now is the right time to buy.^ Lily : I don't think now is the right time to buy.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Don't do it, man, think about Lily?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead...don't look at me, I'm hideous.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: But we're not doing this for now; we're doing this for our future.^ Marshall : But we're not doing this for now; we're doing this for our future.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Can't you imagine starting a family here?^ Can't you imagine starting a family here?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Lily imagines painting with her two daughters.]
.Lily: Oh, Persephone, oh Daphne, these will make great additions to our up-and-coming mother-daughter exhibit at the Met.^ Lily : Oh, Persephone, oh Daphne, these will make great additions to our up-and-coming mother-daughter exhibit at the Met.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Mothers lock up your daughters, daughters lock up your MILSWANCAs.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : You're gonna make such a great dad.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: [enters in a turtleneck, carrying a dog and crêpes au chocolat] Looks great, girls. Who wants crêpes au chocolat?
Lily, Persephone, & Daphne: Merci, Papa!

Spoiler Alert [3.08]

.Marshall: [looking for his password] Jelly beans, fluffernutter, gummi bears, ginger snaps- this is a grocery list.^ Marshall : [looking for his password] Jelly beans, fluffernutter, gummi bears, ginger snaps- this is a grocery list.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: For who, a witch building a house in the forest?^ Robin : For who, a witch building a house in the forest?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: Sugar helps me study.^ Marshall : Sugar helps me study.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: This is the kind of shopping a ten-year-old does when he's alone for the weekend.^ Barney : This is the kind of shopping a ten-year-old does when he's alone for the weekend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Who leaves a 10 year old alone for the weekend?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Who leaves a 10 year old alone for the weekend?^ Lily : Who leaves a 10 year old alone for the weekend?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : This is the kind of shopping a ten-year-old does when he's alone for the weekend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney [Sarcastically]: Oh, and your mom was perfect.

Ted: I mean, you got used to Lily's loud chewing, right?
Marshall:... Lily doesn't chew loudly.
Ted: Dude. This isn't news. Why do you think I call her Chewbacca?
.Marshall: I suspect because she's loyal, wears shiny belts, and I resemble a young Harrison Ford.^ Marshall : I suspect because she's loyal, wears shiny belts, and I resemble a young Harrison Ford.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Slapsgiving [3.09]

.Ted: How many days are there in October?^ Ted : How many days are there in October?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : So, uh, how many people are in on this Party School Bingo thing?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Ah, thirty?^ Barney : Ah, thirty?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Dude, I thought we cleared this up last year.^ Ted : Dude, I thought we cleared this up last year.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : [cuts in] Wait, if this was last year, why are you acting like was Oliver Twist?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin has reservations about Ted and Stella's wedding, and Ted is not pleased] Ted : We broke up over a year ago.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[flashback to last year]
Barney: [as Borat] I like Halloween very much. Is nice! [flashes thumbs-up]
.Ted: [in a Borat-style accent] Is also tomorrow.^ Ted : [in a Borat-style accent] Is also tomorrow.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Damn it!

.Barney: Hey, guys, we're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to nothing!^ Barney : Hey, guys, we're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to nothing !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted tries to convince Barney and Robin to apologize to Marshall and Lily for turning down their Couples Nights] Ted : Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : [picks up dart] Hey, guys!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: Barney, put it away.
.Barney: How does it feel, Marshall?^ Barney : How does it feel, Marshall?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.To sit there impotently, your large, flaccid hand just dangling in the wind?^ To sit there impotently, your large, flaccid hand just dangling in the wind?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There team was still playing today while yours was most likely sitting at home .
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Computer: The slap will occur in ten-
.Barney: Ooh, classy touch, dude.^ Computer : The slap will occur in ten- Barney : Ooh, classy touch, dude.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

TOO BAD!
.Lily: Barney, put it away!^ TOO BAD! Lily : Barney, put it away!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lily : Barney, put it away.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: I will. In [counts with the computer] five, four-
.Lily: [to Marshall] You can slap him.^ Lily : No, Marshall, you must!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin complains about Marshall's depression after Lily leaves him.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won't be long until someone else realizes that and you will lose him forever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: What??
.Computer: Two, one.^ Computer : Two, one.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Marshall slaps Barney]
Marshall: That's three!

The Yips [3.10]

Ted: I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. .I woke up all greasy and sweaty.^ I woke up all greasy and sweaty.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

My sheets looked like what they wrap Deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. .Do you go to a gym?^ Do you go to a gym?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Well, I go to Total Rip Fitness.^ Barney : Well, I go to Total Rip Fitness.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.But I don't work out there.^ But I don't work out there.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ted: What do you do?
Barney: I invest.

.Trish: All right.^ Trish : All right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Start with a hundred push-ups!^ Start with a hundred push-ups!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ A hundred push-ups.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: All right, cool. .How many do you want me to do?^ How many do you want me to do?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How many has he made you?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Marshall : Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Trish: A hundred.
Marshall: Oh, I thought that was a figure of speech. .A hundred push-ups.^ Start with a hundred push-ups!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ A hundred push-ups.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Like do a bazillion push-ups.^ Like do a bazillion push-ups.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.No one can do a hundred.^ No one can do a hundred.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Trish: [sniffing] Do you smell that?^ Trish : [sniffing] Do you smell that?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Marshall: No.
.Trish: Smells like there's a little bitch in my gym.^ Are you being a little bitch in my gym?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Trish : Smells like there's a little bitch in my gym.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There's a glass of water in my bedroom that's vibrating like Jurassic Park .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Are you being a little bitch in my gym?^ Are you being a little bitch in my gym?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Trish : Smells like there's a little bitch in my gym.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You punk-ass bitch wouldn't say that to my face.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Marshall: No.
.Trish: Then get on the floor and give me a hundred!^ Trish : Then get on the floor and give me a hundred!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

The Platinum Rule [3.11]

.Robin: We can split a cab to work together, we always have a standing lunch date, and last night, at the hockey game, Curt got us into the locker room and I met Mason Raymond.^ Robin : We can split a cab to work together, we always have a standing lunch date, and last night, at the hockey game, Curt got us into the locker room and I met Mason Raymond.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[gang looks clueless] Left wing for the Vancouver Canucks!^ Left wing for the Vancouver Canucks!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: What's the opposite of name-dropping?^ Barney : What's the opposite of name-dropping?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: [Flashes his butterfly tattoo.] Say goodbye, kids, 'cause it won't be around much longer.^ Ted : [Flashes his butterfly tattoo.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Say goodbye, kids, 'cause it won't be around much longer.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ 'Cause I love you guys and I'm gonna show you how much: Ted Mosby, Robin Scherbatsky, I bequeath unto you...the Fourth Slap.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: Oh, but Ted, if you get rid of the butterfly how's everyone gonna know you're a stripper from Reno with daddy issues?

No Tomorrow [3.12]

.Barney: Open your brain tank bro, cuz here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge.^ Barney : Open your brain tank bro, cuz here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Robin, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney slams the door behind him, but opens it again] Hey, if you had three hours to kill before your flight, what would you do...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married.^ It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're the only one here.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There’s three rules of cheating: 1.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.2. It’s not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels.^ It’s not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.3. And it's not cheating if she’s from a different area code.^ And it's not cheating if she’s from a different area code.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : How do you know she’s from a different area code?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You’re fine on all three counts.^ You’re fine on all three counts.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I be all sympathetic and before you know it, you're naked in my apartment shouting, "Oh-oh, Ba-ar-nee-ee-ee!"
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Bringing It All Together: If you think this all seems hopeless and not worth the effort, you're right.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Ted: How do you know she’s from a different area code?^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How did you know that?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : How do you do this Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: She’s 516. .She might dress like she’s 718 and act like she’s 212, but trust me she’s 516.^ She might dress like she’s 718 and act like she’s 212 , but trust me she’s 516 .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Oh, and her husband letting her out alone on St. Patty’s Day? If that dude’s not 973, I’m 307…Wyoming.

.Barney: The World is going to come to an end tonight.^ Barney : The World is going to come to an end tonight.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin slaps Ted; woman is amazed] Barney : In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Yes think about it. End of the World, Nostradamus, Notre Dame, Fighting Irish, Irish, St. Patrick's Day. This is it Bro. .Bro-pacalypse Now...^ Bro-pacalypse Now...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Bro-Mageddon.

Ten Sessions [3.13]

.Stella: Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter.^ Stella : Ah the butterfly tramp stamp, my bread and butter.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.So I'm guessing that the real story involves a bad break up and some booze, unless it's a gang tattoo in which case I thinks time to find a new gang.^ So I'm guessing that the real story involves a bad break up and some booze, unless it's a gang tattoo in which case I thinks time to find a new gang.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted confronts Robin over Gael leaving Spanish massage oil on his apartment] Ted : Look, us breaking up was the right thing, but it took some time to get over you, you know.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We've got some new pictures up in the picture section for January.
  • The Stinsons - A Well Trained Commando Force 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC stinsononline.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Ted: Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...^ Ted : Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Ted tries to convince Barney and Robin to apologize to Marshall and Lily for turning down their Couples Nights] Ted : Guys, Lily and Marshall haven't been to the bar all week.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Ted: Last night I watched the worst movie ever.^ Ted : She's still drunk from last night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It was on last night.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Last night I watched the worst movie ever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Stella: Plan 9 from Outer Space.^ Stella : Plan 9 from Outer Space.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: No...the Worst movie ever, Manos Hands of Fate.^ Marshall : No, no, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : No...the Worst movie ever, Manos Hands of Fate .
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Last night I watched the worst movie ever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

The Bracket [3.14]

Barney: There are four kinds of women who go to the hardware store by themselves.
.Robin: Of course there are.^ Robin : Of course there are.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.^ Barney : Single, recently single, recently divorced, lesbian who will let me watch.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: You can not be more evil.^ Lily : You can not be more evil.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I've known you 12 years and I can honestly say I've NEVER BEEN MORE FURIOUS AT YOU! Lily : Ted I...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: Sorry five.^ Barney : Sorry five.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Recently widowed.

Barney: Hey! .I don't remember you.^ I don't remember you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them- and I have done some horrible things.^ I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them- and I have done some horrible things.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : The truth is: My friend, he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman.^ I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there.^ I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her.^ I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Ah no, I just thought it would be cool to get a caterpillar tattoo, then a few weeks went by, and all of a sudden...
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them- and I have done some horrible things.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.^ So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Did you just use my name as a verb?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What's going on- Natalie : What's going on is, you broke my heart over my answering machine on my birthday.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

The Chain of Screaming [3.15]

.Ted: Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?^ Ted : Gee, is that ice cream cone big enough?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: Uhhh, it's delicious enough.^ Robin : Uhhh, it's delicious enough.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: Shotgun for eternity!^ Barney : Shotgun for eternity!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: You can't call shotgun for eternity.^ Robin : You can't call shotgun for eternity.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You can't just call things!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: I just called it.^ Barney : I just called it.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Robin: You can't just call things!^ Robin : You can't call shotgun for eternity.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You can't just call things!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : No, you're not having ice cream for dinner just because you're sick.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Barney: I call that I can call things!^ Barney : I call that I can call things!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Sandcastles In The Sand [3.16]

.Robin: I wanted to be sixteen again.^ Robin : I wanted to be sixteen again.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Robin, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.

.Barney: You're the most awesome person I've ever met.^ Hey have you met the Awesomes?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : You're the most awesome person I've ever met.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : It's funny...when you date someone, you're taking one long course on who that person is, and when you break up, all of that stuff is useless.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Well, second.
.Robin: Right, first being you.^ Ted : Robin, you know I'm right.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : Right, first being you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : No, you pour the cereal first to see how much milk you need!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: No, actually, it's this guy I know who lives in something called the mirror. What up?

The Goat [3.17]

[Robin and Barney just had sex]
.Robin: Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.^ [Robin and Barney just had sex] Robin : Okay, here's the deal Barney; the moment my feet touch the ground this never happened.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Never ever tell anyone I was here, I will deny it tooth and nail; this trip never happened.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : I'd take you with gravy if my boyfriend wasn't sitting right here, heehee!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Okay. Wait! .[lifts up covers] Right-Click, Save As, Into the b-peg folder and Okay!^ Right-Click, Save As, Into the b-peg folder and Okay!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

This never happened. It's a good plan.
.Robin: Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.^ Robin : Now we go back to exactly the way things were before.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Rebuild now, before we slide back into mediocrity.
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Robin : Why would anybody buy take-out food and take it all the way back to New Jersey, anyway?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: Okay.
.Robin: [whispering] Okay.^ Robin : [whispering] Okay.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: All right... So Robin?
Robin: Yes Barney?
Barney: Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night?

[Ted is furious with Barney over sleeping with Robin and comes to a decision]
.Ted: You know what Barney, earlier this week I've been putting some stuff into a box and that box was labelled "Stuff I Have No Use For Anymore."^ Barney : Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Ted, that girl had no intention of ever hooking up with you.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : I know you are.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: All I'm saying is, maybe you belong in that box.
Barney: Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
.Ted: I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.^ Ted : I'm saying I don't want to be friends anymore.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : Are you saying you don't want to be bros anymore?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home'.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Rebound Bro [3.18]

.Lily: So, looking forward to tonight?^ Lily : So, looking forward to tonight?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Stella: Yes! .It's been so long since I had a night out.^ It's been so long since I had a night out.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'd explode if it had been that long since I had a 'night out.'
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Lily: We heard. .I'd explode if it had been that long since I had a 'night out.'^ It's been so long since I had a night out.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'd explode if it had been that long since I had a 'night out.'
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Marshall: This one sometimes wakes me up at 3:00 AM for a little 'night out.'^ Marshall : This one sometimes wakes me up at 3:00 AM for a little 'night out.'
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Because if any one of those things hadn't happened, I never would've ended up in what turned out to be the best job I ever had.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How do you sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Stella: What are you guys talking about?^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lily: Ummm, nothing.^ Lily : Ummm, nothing.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Pizza. .What are you talking about?^ Stella : What are you guys talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What are you talking about?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Barney: Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.^ Barney : Now remember my three beginner's tips for picking up chicks: address her by name, isolate her from her friends, subtly put her down.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Waited three years for me to get over you, tracked me down, begged me to go out with you again, only so you could dump me three weeks later, again on my birthday !
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Barney : [in old man make-up] You there, what's your name?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Everything Must Go [3.19]

Lily: Today I yelled at a little girl for drawing a rainbow.
Ted: A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming.

Abby: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Barney: Yes!
.Abby: You're thinking about having sex with Ted?^ But if he’s not how much do you think lreinert can do I’m not being sarcastic i just dont know much about him .
  • Arizona Cardinals @ New Orleans Saints GameThread, Jan 16, 2010 2:30 PM MST - Revenge Of The Birds 10 February 2010 11:57 UTC www.revengeofthebirds.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Miracles [3.20]

.Stella: So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.^ Stella : So, my sister broke up with her boyfriend.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Robin has reservations about Ted and Stella's wedding, and Ted is not pleased] Ted : We broke up over a year ago.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy!^ Ted : And what does frat guys say to that?
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Well, now I can finally say it: I hated that guy!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, 'Daddy's home'.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'. That guy's an idiot.^ Everything out of his mouth is 'I'm a vegan!', 'Fish feel pain!', 'I'm never constipated!'.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Stella: Actually, she's marrying him.^ Stella : Actually, she's marrying him.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I just wanted your honest opinion.
Ted: He's actually a really nice guy. There's a wisdom...

.Marshall: God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt: to liberate me from corporate bondage.^ Marshall : God sent those lice to my head like he sent the locust to Egypt : to liberate me from corporate bondage.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Barney returns a few minutes later, looking like himself] Woman : Oh my God!
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : And if she's going home, why are we still heading to- oh my God.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Miracle.

Season 4

Do I Know You? [4.1]

.Older Ted: Kids, here's something I wish my dad had told me.^ Older Ted : Kids, here's something I wish my dad had told me.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Older Ted : Kids, I tell you a lot of inappropriate stories, but there's no way in hell I'm telling you this one.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Ted : The truth is: My friend, he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage to pick up girls and we followed some here to Philadelphia.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.The longest pause you will ever experience in your life is the one that follows asking the question..^ The longest pause you will ever experience in your life is the one that follows asking the question..
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But never forget, that on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Marshall just linked up with Ted and Barney at MacLaren's] Ted : [to Marshall] Barney says Lily asking you to wash the dishes is a sign that your marriage is crumbling.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Ted: [to Stella] Will you marry me?^ Ted : Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
  • How I Met Your Mother - Wikiquote 28 January 2010 0:00 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]