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Las Vegas
Vegas Title Card.jpg
Genre Comedy-drama
Created by Gary Scott Thompson
Starring James Caan (2003–2007)
Josh Duhamel
Nikki Cox (2003–2007)
Vanessa Marcil
James Lesure
Molly Sims
Marsha Thomason (2003–2005)
Tom Selleck (2007–2008)
Opening theme A Little Less Conversation (the Memories The '68 Comeback Special version) by Elvis Presley
Country of origin United States
Language(s) English
No. of seasons 5
No. of episodes 106 (List of episodes)
Executive producer(s) Gary Scott Thompson
Matt Pyken
Kim Newton
Justin Falvey
Darryl Frank
Producer(s) Universal Media Studios
DreamWorks Television
Location(s) Las Vegas, Nevada
Running time 44 minutes
Original channel NBC
Picture format 480i (SDTV)
1080i (HDTV)
Original run September 22, 2003 (2003-09-22) – February 15, 2008 (2008-02-15)
External links
Official website

Las Vegas is an American television series that aired on NBC from September 22, 2003 to February 15, 2008. The show focuses on a team of people working in the fictional Montecito Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada—dealing with issues that arise within the working environment, ranging from valet parking and restaurant management to casino security. The series originally aired on Monday nights, though NBC later moved the series to Friday nights first to 9:00PM Eastern/8:00PM Central and then to 10:00PM Eastern/9:00PM Central. The show is currently in syndication and airs in the United States (on TNT).



The series originally centered around Ed Deline, a strict ex-CIA officer who went from being Head of Security to becoming President of Operations of the Montecito, whose job is to run the day-to-day operations of the casino. Following his departure from the series in Season 5, former Marine Danny McCoy (Josh Duhamel), Ed's former protege, has become the Montecito's new President of Operations.

Other characters that work with McCoy include current Head of Security and Surveillance, and former Head Valet, Mike Cannon (James Lesure) who plays an integral role in investigations due to his engineering degree from MIT.

Danny's childhood friend and ex-fiancée, Mary Connell (Nikki Cox), worked at the Montecito first as Event Director then got promoted to Hotel Manager in the third season until leaving at the end of the fourth season.

Nessa Holt (Marsha Thomason) was the Montecito's pit boss and "best pit boss in Las Vegas" until her departure at the end of the second season to live with her father and sister.

Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez (Vanessa Marcil), a businesswoman and self-proclaimed "best casino host in the world," has one goal: to get high rollers to play at the casino.

Ed's daughter Delinda Deline (Molly Sims) serves as the Entertainment Manager, and runs all the food and beverages in the casino. She is currently living with Danny after previously having a romantic connection with him early in the first season.

The ownership of the casino has changed quite a bit with A.J. Cooper (Tom Selleck) as the sixth owner.

TNT has been airing reruns of the series since the fall of 2007.

Cast and characters

Main cast and characters

  • Ed Deline (Season 1–4, starring, Season 5 guest star), (James Caan), Former President of Operations and Head of Security of the Montecito Resort & Casino, and also a former member of the Board of Directors. Deline was, at one point, one of the main characters of the series, portrayed as a loving husband and father, as well as a father figure to his employees, especially Danny. Nevertheless, he is a tough man and doesn't hesitate to use violence to get what he wants. As the former Director of Counter Intelligence for the CIA, his past has come back to haunt him on several occasions, most recently during his daughter's wedding in "Father of the Bride Redux." During season 3, Ed was briefly in retirement until the Maloofs tried to hire him for their potential casino in Macau. Eventually Ed returned to his position when Casey Manning bought the casino. Ed left the casino since being wanted by the Las Vegas police for killing Mary Connell's father and has since gone into hiding. Ed went back to work for the CIA and is currently in Paris, France. He makes the point of not being called Mr. Ed, Edward or Eddy. James Caan's earlier "tough guy" roles are sometimes referenced, for example when Ed is in a Montecito commercial, the director says he needs to be more like Sonny Corleone in The Godfather.
  • Danny McCoy, (Season 1–5), (Josh Duhamel), initially Ed's apprentice, surrogate son, and good friend who was later promoted to Head of Security. After the resignation of Ed in 2005, Danny was made President of Operations of the Montecito Resort & Casino for a brief period. However, following Ed's return, Danny was officially made Head of Security in Season 3. He was born and raised in Las Vegas. Towards the end of Season 2, his father Larry McCoy (John Terry) died in an accident and he inherited his construction company, McCoy Construction, and house. Danny sold his father's house and used it to pay for his condo. Establishing shots suggest his condo is in the Turnberry Towers. He is a former U.S. Marine, with guerrilla training and counter intelligence training. He was recalled into military service in Iraq at the end of Season one. In Season 2, he was awarded the Silver Star after he called in an air-strike over his unit and himself when they were ambushed and overrun. Only he survived the air strike. He is currently living with his girlfriend, Delinda, who is pregnant with their child. He was involved in an on-and-off relationship with his childhood friend, Mary in seasons 1 and 2. The show was narrated by this character for the first few episodes. In Season 5, Danny finally gets Ed's job and is now President of Operations for the casino. Throughout the show, Danny occasionally bumps into fellow Marines he knows or served with.
  • Mike Cannon, (Season 1–5), (James Lesure), an engineer (with both undergraduate and graduate degrees from MIT in Mechanical Engineering) who worked as head valet for the first season, but was officially recruited by Ed Deline to the security department to help during Danny's military absence. He stayed on as security personnel despite being paid less than his job as a valet and cured his claustrophobia at the end of Season 1. Originally in the pilot episode, Mike had a wife and daughter; this plot line was seemingly abandoned. Mike and Nessa became close in Season 2, until Nessa left to be with her dad and sister without saying goodbye. In Season 5, when Danny accepts the job as the President of Operations for the Casino, Mike is promoted to Head of Security and Surveillance. Mike and Piper were recently married. Whenever approaching a beautiful girl, he first uses breath spray. He is Danny's best friend.
  • Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez, (Season 1–5), (Vanessa Marcil), the self-proclaimed best Casino Host in the world, lives in a Montecito suite. She is portrayed as a ruthless business person whose sole interest is to get high rollers to play at the Montecito. However, in the Season 4 episode, "The Burning Bedouin", she reveals that she is only "cold and jaded because everyone expects of her", and "underneath it all, she is weak and pathetic like everyone else." She was married to billionaire Casey Manning, whom she was estranged from for seven years prior to a divorce. She was also involved in an on-and-off relationship with Det. Woody Hoyt from Crossing Jordan, which ended officially based on the events from Season 4 episode, "History of Violins." From "The Burning Bedouin." it is seen that she is currently in love with and waiting for Jeremy, the man who first brought her to Las Vegas from Austin, Texas. Following the death of her ex-husband Casey in a freak fishing accident (later revealed he was poisoned), is left control of the casino. She is the latest former owner of the Montecito Resort & Casino after failing to pay the taxes owed on the property. Her ownership of the Montecito lasted for a week, when A.J. Cooper bought the Montecito by paying off the back taxes. A.J. fired Sam when she was rude to the son of his ranch manager. After Delinda intervened, Sam and Cooper worked things out over a milk shake, bowling, beers, and cigars. Cooper agreed to rehire Sam. Sam is originally from Texas and enjoys playing bingo. In the Season 5 Finale, Casey Manning's younger brother Vic Manning visits the Montecito to take over the ownership of the casino. At the end of the show, it is announced that Sam and Vic plan to get married. When asked why Sam wants to marry Vic, even though she always stated she didn't have feelings for him even though he loved her, she says it is because he reminds her of Casey.
  • Delinda Deline, (Season 1–5), (Molly Sims), Ed and Jillian's daughter and the entertainment manager/manager of all the food and beverage outlets in the Montecito: Mystique club, the former Wolfgang restaurant, Opus bar, and the Bella Petto Pool Bar. Delinda is also shown to have a genius level IQ, and once majored in Psychology, but decided that the human race's biggest problem is that they are boring. Delinda has also been shown to be fluent in French, in the season 4 episode, "the Burning Beduoin." Delinda leaves the Montecito in the beginning of Season 3, until Monica forces Ed to hire her back. She is Danny's girlfriend after a long and complicated romantic history with him. They were "involved" briefly for the first episodes of Season 1 before calling it off. During Season 3, an old college flame returns and asks Delinda to marry him. She accepts, but before the ceremony Ed is shot. In the fray of Ed's medical crisis, Delinda calls off her wedding to Derick. After leaving Derick, she again becomes involved with Danny and they are now living together and she is pregnant with their child. At the end of the Season 5 Finale, Delinda becomes overwhelmed with pain after just learning that A.J. Cooper is alive, after he was supposedly killed in a plane crash. Jillian and Danny are with her, and she begins bleeding.
  • Mary Connell (Season 1–4), (Nikki Cox), the Special Events Director at the casino. Originally she was supposed to play the casino's personal hooker, but at the last minute during the pilot filming, Gary Scott Thompson changed it back to events director. A Las Vegas native, her father sexually abused her when she was a child, and Danny always came to her rescue. In season three, she was rehired and promoted to Hotel Manager. In the fourth season, she helps her stepmother and half-sisters testify against her father – a case which was lost because of his connections. In the episode "Bare Chested in the Park", she was shown purchasing a revolver to shoot her father in the following episode. She was involved in an on-and-off relationship with Danny, who later proposed to her in season two – a proposal which she rejected. Mary is currently hiding from the law for her part in the murder of her father, but is apparently safe, as she sent Danny a photo with a house and white fence (her dream house).
  • Nessa Holt (Season 1–2), (Marsha Thomason), "The Ice Queen." Former head pit boss of the Montecito. Described as 'the best pit boss in Las Vegas'. She was born in Manchester, England, but has a shady past due to her father's connections with Ed Deline. She was raised by Ed and Jillian for some years. When the third season started, she had left Las Vegas and been given a new identity to be able to live with her father and long-lost sister. Nessa failed to say goodbye to Mike, as they were getting closer to a relationship. Her father was a well-known gambler, cheater and con artist. He was forcefully recruited and faked his death.
  • A.J. Cooper, (Season 5), (Tom Selleck), the new owner of the Montecito as of 2007. He is a former Marine and cattle rancher from Wyoming who stirs things up at the casino. It is said his net worth is about $2 billion. On his first day, he allowed a doctor to avoid jail for cheating by making him lose his winnings back and promising not to return to Las Vegas again. In "Run Cooper Run", it is revealed that Cooper was a Black Ops Marine in the Vietnam War and awarded the Bronze Star for his work. In "Sex, Lies and Lamaze", Cooper admits that he was best friends with Piper's father, a fellow Marine. Before Piper's father died, Cooper promised he would watch over Piper. Cooper also owns condominiums in Florida, the largest paper mill in Wisconsin, the largest cattle ranch in Wyoming, and a high-tech company in California. In the Season 5 finale, Cooper tells the Montecito workers he must go to New York and take care of some lawsuits filed against him by Vic Manning. Later, Mitch alerts Danny that the Montecito's jet has crashed in Colorado. The news reports say only one of the pilots survived. In lieu of the planned triple wedding, Danny and Mike set up a memorial service for Cooper's presumed death. At the last moments of the show, he arrives at the service and appears to be fine.

Recurring cast and characters

  • Piper Nielsen, (2007–2008), (Camille Guaty), the newest concierge of the Montecito introduced in season 5. She frequently socializes with both Sam and Delinda. In the episode "The Glass is Always Cleaner", she was arrested at a rave party with Sam and had to be bailed out by Mike. In her first episode, she states she is just 22 years old but later slips and says she is 25. She was fired for letting a minor gamble, but Cooper paid a $1,000,000 fine to hire her back. Piper never knew who her father was, but it was recently revealed that her father was a Marine who was Cooper's best friend during the Vietnam War. He died sometime after Vietnam. Before he died, Cooper promised him that he would keep an eye on Piper. Mike and Piper were recently married. With the help of Cooper and Delinda she won a magazine award as Las Vegas' best concierge.
  • Mitch, (2003–2008), (Mitch Longley), a regular member of the Surveillance team. Mitch, like the actor who plays him, is paraplegic and uses a wheelchair. Mitch has a recurring role from Season 1 through Season 5.
  • Polly, (2005–2008), (Suzanne Whang), a Korean manicurist in the Montecito's spa, who has recently formed a friendship with A.J. Cooper. Polly is always open about discussing her sexual experience, such as claiming she was one of Wilt Chamberlain's 20,000 partners in "2 on 2." Sam once gave Ed a full body massage from Polly for Christmas, in which Polly attempted to give Ed a 'happy ending'.
  • Luis Perez, (2003–2005), (Guy Ecker), a Las Vegas Police detective, childhood friend of Danny and Mary, and friend of Ed Deline and his team. He was also a former marine whose unit was recalled for service in Iraq. In the episode "One Nation, Under Surveillance", he comes to Danny and asks for his experience in the war and what to expect. He dies at his first week in the war and in the episode "Letter, Lawyers and Loose Women" a funeral is held in his honor with Ed and everyone attending his funeral.
  • Kathy Berson, (2005–2008), (Rikki Klieman), The Montecito's main legal adviser and lawyer. If there are any legal issues, Kathy is the first person that everyone asks. Kathy helps Ed, Cooper, and Danny with many of their problems over the course of the show.
  • Jillian Deline, (2003–2008), (Cheryl Ladd), Ed's wife and Delinda's mother. Jillian had been expressing growing resentment of Ed's time on the job, and admitted this to her daughter, Delinda, at the end of Season 4. In the Season 4 finale, it was revealed that Jillian would leave Ed if he decided on purchasing the Montecito. It was later revealed that she would support Ed's decision for better or for worse after learning of her future grandchild. She leaves Ed after they move away under sketchy circumstances. She is currently awaiting her first grandchild, via Delinda and her fiancee Danny McCoy.
  • Monica Mancuso, (2005), (Lara Flynn Boyle), Former owner of the Montecito, was portrayed as self-centered and bull-headed. In the first episode of season three, it was revealed that at age 25, she married an 83-year-old billionaire and upon his death at 93, she inherited his fortune, using it to purchase the Montecito and upgrade it to its current facility. She was a waitress in the morning and a stripper at night before she married the billionaire in Ohio. She later used the casino as collateral to try to purchase other casinos in Las Vegas. Dedicated to prove that she was more than just a woman who inherited money, she was determined to make the Montecito a success. In the season three episode "Mothwoman", she dies in a freak accident: a gust of wind blows her off the roof of the Montecito, and down the strip into a shoe store at the Wynn. Because her character was generally disliked by the other characters in the series, and typically was portrayed as a buffoon, her death was constructed mostly for humor. Casino employees disposed of her ashes by flushing them down the toilet (as per her wishes) in her suite at the Montecito.
  • Casey Manning, (2004–2007), (Dean Cain), A shrewd and cunning businessman, Sam Marquez's ex-husband and former owner of the Montecito Resort & Casino. In Season 3, Casey bought the Montecito from the Foundation for the Blind, after it was left to them following Monica's death. In the Season four episode "Bare Chested in the Park", his character was killed off in a fishing accident: a giant squid enveloped him off the coast of New Zealand. The autopsy revealed that he was poisoned before the accident. After his death, he leaves the Montecito to Sam, who faces tax problems. In the series finale, Sam plans to marry Casey's brother Vic even though she doesn't love him because Vic reminds Sam of Casey.
  • Sarasvati Kumar, (2004–2006), (Lakshmi Manchu), She is an accountant for the Casino and one time love interest of Frank (Sylvester Stallone), and later Mike. Her relationship with Mike ended officially after she went home with Delinda's bachelorette party strippers.
  • Gunther, (2004–2006), (Harry Groener), The temperamental executive chef at the Montecito's original restaurant. Habitually had issues that required Delinda's attention. Developed a rivalry with Wolfgang Puck when the more famous chef opened a restaurant at the casino. Eventually quits after losing a cook off to Puck. He sells his restaurant to Charo. Believed to be a parody of Wolfgang Puck, his disposal by means of a cook-off was arranged when the show was able to sign on the real Wolfgang Puck, who plays himself in the series.
  • Erika, (2006–2007), (Anna Pheil), A hard-as-nails barmaid Danny hired on a lark when he saw her dealing with customers where she tended bar at a strip club.
  • Shannon (2006–2007), (Malaya Rivera Drew), A member of the Montecito's security. She plays a small role in six episodes. She briefly shows interest in Mike Cannon.

Notable guest stars

Notable cameos

Crossing Jordan crossover

Las Vegas is set in the same universe as fellow NBC series Crossing Jordan. In the season 2 episode "Two of a Kind," a case brought Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh (Jill Hennessy) and Det. Woody Hoyt (Jerry O'Connell) to Las Vegas. Woody and Sam got very well acquainted and maintained a long-distance relationship. However, as of the season 4 episode "History of Violins," the relationship seemed to be over. Jordan and Danny also become involved, but both agreed it was only for fun, and no relationship came from it.

Episodes ordered by airdate:

  • Crossing Jordan: "What Happens in Vegas Dies in Boston" (November 7, 2004) with Duhamel, Marcil and Caan
  • Las Vegas: "Two of a Kind" (November 8, 2004) with O'Connell & Hennessy
  • Crossing Jordan: "Luck Be a Lady" (October 2, 2005) with Duhamel & Marcil
  • Las Vegas: "Double Down, Triple Threat" (October 3, 2005) with O'Connell & Hennessy
  • Las Vegas: "Fidelity, Security, Delivery" (May 5, 2006) with O'Connell
  • Las Vegas: "Father of the Bride" (May 12, 2006) with O'Connell
  • Las Vegas: "History of Violins" (November 17, 2006) with O'Connell & Hennessy
  • Crossing Jordan: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" (February 11, 2007) with Duhamel & Molly Sims

Other crossovers

The Montecito Hotel and casino has appeared in multiple shows — Heroes[1], Knight Rider[2], Medium[3], Monk[4], Passions, and Stargate Atlantis (in an "Alternate Universe") — when characters from those shows visited Las Vegas. Of these, only the daytime soap Passions included Las Vegas characters in cameo roles[5]: Nikki Cox appeared as Mary Connell[6][7].

The Las Vegas episode "The Story of Owe" mentions a Dunder-Mifflin convention, obliquely linking to The Office.[8]

Opening sequence

Different theme songs have been used, depending on where, how or when the show is aired. In France, Spain, Italy, Portugal, UK, The Netherlands and other countries the theme song is Let It Ride by Charlie Clouser and Jon Ingoldsby, while in other countries, such as the USA and Canada, the theme song is A Little Less Conversation (the Memories – The '68 Comeback Special version) by Elvis Presley. For the American DVD, as well as the episodes available for viewing on NBC's website, Clouser's song is used with the exception of the pilot episode on the American DVDs.


DVD releases

Name Ep # Region 1 Region 2 Region 4
Season One 23 January 4, 2005 March 14, 2005
November 28, 2005
Season Two 24 September 13, 2005 December 5, 2005
November 28, 2005
Season Three 23 September 12, 2006 November 30, 2006 November 15, 2006
Season Four 17 September 11, 2007 October 29, 2007 April 1, 2009
Season Five 19 July 22, 2008 October 13, 2008 December 2, 2009

Season information

The show has five complete seasons, all of them are available on DVD. The show was renewed for the fifth season on February 27, 2007.[9] On March 2, 2007, it was announced that James Caan and Nikki Cox would be leaving the series. Caan's departure is because he wants to return to acting in feature films, while Cox's departure seems to stem from budget cuts.[10] Tom Selleck replaced James Caan as head boss in season 5. In the final season, only 19 episodes of the originally planned 22 episode season were filmed at the time the show was cancelled. The final episode was a cliffhanger with many issues left unresolved and will remain unresolved according to TV Guide Canada. At one point, Michael Ausiello of TV Guide said that there are plans, should a proper resolution not be possible, to have the characters of Danny McCoy and Delinda Deline cameo in an episode of Knight Rider carrying a newborn [11].

Nielsen Ratings

Season Timeslot (EDT) Season Premiere Season Finale TV Season Rank Viewers
(in millions)
1 Monday 9:00 P.M. September 22, 2003 May 17, 2004 2003–2004 #27 11.83
2 Monday 9:00 P.M. September 13, 2004 May 23, 2005 2004–2005 #33 11.42
3 Monday 9:00 P.M. (September 19, 2005 – December 5, 2005)

Friday 9:00 P.M. (January 2, 2006 – May 12, 2006)

September 19, 2005 May 12, 2006 2005–2006 #46 10.51
4 Friday 9:00 P.M. October 27, 2006 March 9, 2007 2006–2007 #54 9.0
5 Friday 10:00 P.M. September 28, 2007 February 15, 2008 2007–2008 #65 8.46


The location of the fictional Montecito has changed from season to season. Some of the first episodes were taped at the Monte Carlo and Mandalay Bay. Because of its similarity to Mandalay Bay, many of the show visuals place the Montecito at the far southern end of The Las Vegas Strip, albeit usually across the street from Mandalay Bay on the airport side of Las Vegas Boulevard. The exact location and rotation of the building seems to vary a lot within this area, indeed the CGI zoom shots of the building exterior in the season two episode, "Montecito Lancers", shows the building in three slightly differing locations for three different shots. In Season 5, the Montecito seems to have the consistent location across from Mandalay Bay.

Many of Mandalay Bay's interiors and exteriors (including its wave pool) have been used as Montecito exteriors, although (according to the Internet Movie Database) the actual set of Montecito is located at Culver Studios, in Culver City, California, so the interiors are a replica of the Mandalay Bay. The Season 3 set of Las Vegas has been said to be the biggest set for a TV show ever.

During the first season of the show, many of the Montecito's suites overlooked various parts of the middle part of the Strip, placing the hotel near where The Venetian, Flamingo Las Vegas, or The Mirage are currently, before the more consistent location at the southern end of the Strip was finalized.

During the first season, except for the pilot episode, the sets were built as needed for filming.

Some episodes were shot using interior and exterior shots of Green Valley Ranch including a shot of the pool and spa area where in one episode Everlast holds a concert.

In Season 3, Ed Deline's office appears to be in the middle of the strip, overlooking Harrah's, Caesars Palace, The Mirage, and The Venetian, which puts the Montecito near where Treasure Island is located. This is inconsistent with the flyover shots of the Montecito, which would place Ed's office over two miles away. Closer examination of the window scene shows that The Mirage's marquee over their driveway has been edited to read "Montecito". In season 4, episode 2 there is a scene in Ed Deline's office where again we can see an overview of The Mirage and Caesars Palace. Again it's a confirmation that Ed Deline's office would be where Treasure Island is located.

According to an episode that originally aired in December 2005, the Montecito is located about 1.5 miles from Wynn Las Vegas. It's possible that this distance is in a straight line ("as the crow flies") as opposed to a reference to actual driving distance. This distance is inconsistent with long shots that place the Montecito near the airport and Mandalay Bay, but is in line with Season 3 visual references noted above.

Other episodes show aerial shots of the Montecito that make it appear to be situated at the corner of Giles St. and Reno Ave., about half a mile from Mandalay Bay.

In the episode "Father of the Bride Redux", it's shown that the Montecito also operates a property in Hawaii called the Montecito Royal Hawaiian Villas.

Spin-off fiction

The Las Vegas tie-in novel High Stakes Game, by Jeff Mariotte tells the tale of what could have occurred between the season two finale and the season three premiere when the casino was destroyed and rebuilt and the characters briefly went their separate ways. A second novel, also by Jeff Mariotte called Sleight of Hand was launched in 2007.


External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Las Vegas was an American television series that aired on NBC from September 22, 2003 to February 15, 2008. The show focuses on a team of people working in the fictional Montecito Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada—dealing with issues that arise within the working environment, ranging from valet parking and restaurant management to casino security.


Season 1


Danny McCoy: [Voiceover] Never sleep with the boss's daughter. Especially if the boss is Ed Deline, former head of CIA Counter Intelligence and the greatest security man Vegas has ever seen.

Ed Deline: Danny, welcome to the family.
Danny: Excuse me, what?
Ed: If I catch you looking at another girl, take a poison pill, because I'll kill ya.

Mike Cannon: Hey, don't forget: barbecue at my house tomorrow night. I've got some great new gadgets I've been working on.
Danny: You're not going to rewire my car and set it on fire again, are you?
Mike: That really hurts, Danny. You had a short, okay? That was an accident!

Ed: Trudy and I were wondering what your intentions might be.
Delinda Deline: My intentions, Daddy?
Ed: Well, you know, Danny --
Delinda: I thought I'd have as much sex with him and his cute little butt as possible, then when I get bored, dump him.
Ed: That's cute. That's really funny.

What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

Sam Marquez: If he pinches my ass I'll deck him.
Ed Deline: No you won't.

Donny, We Hardly Knew Ye

Ed Deline: She dumped you.
Danny McCoy: Like yesterday's newspaper.

Mike Cannon: When I start dating a girl, you know what I do?
Danny: What do you do?
Mike: Whatever she wants. Sunrise hike in the mountains? Sounds good! Antique shopping? Let's go! I establish report.
Danny: It sounds like guy code for ass kiss to me.

Ed: Cominski. Cominski, Marie. Shoplifting, conviction. Check forgery, conviction. Mail fraud. Now you add to this misappropriation.
Sam Marquez: Stealing from your husband.
Ed: Who you adore. Or I can make your life miserable.
Sam: He will.
Ed: Very miserable.

Jokers and Fools

Groundhog Summer

Semper Spy

Sam Marquez: Do you really think you should have your feet up on Big Ed's desk?
Danny McCoy: Big Ed's probably at a luau right now patting down Don Ho, but don't you worry, ladies. Big Danny's here.
Nessa Holt: Oh, my God. The boss isn't gone five minutes, he's already gone mad!

Sam: Either this guy is the nicest multi-millionaire I've ever met, or he's completely screwing with me.

Pros and Cons

Danny McCoy: The tint is off. The thickness is way off. Look at this thing!
Ed Deline: I'm your father. I work in a casino. You took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal. How do you suppose that makes me look? A: good. B: not so good.
Delinda Deline: Well I'm sorry. You never invited me to take your daughter to work day.
Ed: You were busy gallivanting all over Europe!
Delinda: Well you wanted me to get an education.
Ed: Exactly. So that you could be taken by some two bit hustler in the ladies lounge of my casino. Money well spent, I'd say.

Mary Connell: Did you get them back?
Sam: The front desk is going to let them freak out for a few minutes and then blame it on the computer.
Mary: You're bad!
Sam: I know!

Luck Be a Lady

Year of the Tiger

Decks and Violence

Blood and Sand

Hellraisers & Heartbreakers

The Night the Lights Went Out in Vegas

Things That Go Jump in the Night

Die Fast, Die Furious

New Orleans

You Can't Take It with You

Nevada State

Sons and Lovers

The Strange Life of Bob

The Family Jewels

The Big Bang

Always Faithful

Season 2

Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

The Count of Montecito

Blood Is Thicker

Catch of the Day

Good Run of Bad Luck

Games People Play

Sam Marquez: What is wrong with these rich college kids? What, is there some kind of jackass gene that kicks in?
Danny McCoy: Yeah, there is.

Nessa Holt: Can I ask you a question?
Delinda Deline: [sighs] Yes, I've done it with a girl, but only once. Okay, twice.
Nessa Holt: No! That's too much information!

Montecito Lancers

Two of a Kind

Degas Away with It

Silver Star

My Beautiful Launderette

When You Got to Go, You Got to Go

Sperm Whales and Spearmint Rhinos

The Lie Is Cast

Whale of a Time

Can You See What I See?

Tainted Love

To Protect And Serve Manicotti

One Nation Under Surveillance

Hit Me!

Hide and Sneak

Delinda Deline: Sam. Have you seen Seth? I'm really worried about him.
Sam Marquez: Delinda, he's an adult.
Delinda Deline: He shows up this sweet, unspoiled country boy and now I've turned him into some sort of --
Sam Marquez: American?
Delinda Deline: Oh, God.
Sam Marquez: Yeah. Listen, there's this thing. I'm not sure if you've heard of it or not. It's called personal responsibility.
Delinda Deline: Yeah, but he's overdoing it. And it's all my fault.
Sam Marquez: Good. Everyone overdoes it. That's why we're here.
Delinda Deline: Yeah, but he's picking up slutty girls.
Sam Marquez: That's excellent, actually. He wears the Boy George hats, but he's not gay.
Delinda Deline: And he's drinking like a fish.
Sam Marquez: Helps kill the slutty girl germs.

Letters, Lawyers And Loose Women

Magic Carpet Fred


Season 3

Viva Las Vegas

Delinda Deline: Do you know what it's like to have Big Ed Deline breathing down your neck every second of the day?
Danny McCoy: Well, yeah.
Delinda Deline: That's right. I forgot. He did catch us in bed. It was fun. We should do it again sometime.

Monica Mancuso: You know, Danny, I haven't seen Samantha Marquez here.
Danny McCoy: That's because she's not here.
Monica Mancuso: She seems to have disappeared with all her clients, which I don't have to tell you means millions of dollars to the Montecito's bottom line. I need those clients here on opening night.
Danny McCoy: Nobody has seen or heard from Sam since she left.
Monica Mancuso: Well, given your impressive background, I don't think you're going to have too much trouble tracking her down.
Danny McCoy: Well you don't know Sam. If she doesn't want to be found, she won't be.
Monica Mancuso: What is she, all of four foot nothing? Find her!
Danny McCoy: Even if I did find her, what if she doesn't want to come back?
Monica Mancuso: Then I'll poach her clients.

Sam Marquez: If that bitch thinks that she is going to get away with this, she has another think coming!
Danny McCoy: It looks like she already has.

Fake The Money And Run

Monica Mancuso: So, Mike --
Mike Cooper: Yes?
Monica: What sort of impression do I make?
Mike: Come again?
Monica: If we were at a bar and you hadn't seen me before.
Mike: Oh! Can I speak candidly?
Monica: I insist you speak candidly.
Mike: I think you are a hot piece of ass.
Monica: Good answer.

Monica: Come on, show some cleavage. It's a casino, not a convent.

Double Down, Triple Threat

Sam Marquez: Tequila's like amnesia in a bottle for me.

Whatever Happened To Seymour Magoon?

Monica Mancuso: Who is she?
Danny McCoy: Who is who?
Monica Mancuso: Come on. You wore the same suit yesterday. You have that pathetic, puppy dog grin on your face. My guess, some woman's got you by the 'nads. My advice: cut her loose. Women cannot be trusted.
Danny McCoy: Okay.
Monica Mancuso: Hello? I know what I'm talking about.

Delinda Deline: I hate to say this, Sam, but you smell like a dog.
Sam Marquez: Yeah! It's Beaumont, of Silver Springs. He's this big, goofy Great Dane. My whale's showing him at the competition.
Delinda Deline: How adorable!
Sam Marquez: Yeah, he is. He reminds me of my first love, John Butler. I can't get over the resemblance.
Delinda Deline: Not the dog. The whale, right?
Sam Marquez: Yeah, I have a date with him tonight. I feel like a girl. Let's sit down and talk about it!

Big Ed De-cline

The Real McCoy

Bob Marquez: Hey, sis!
Sam Marquez: Hey sis. Who are you, Greg Brady? Who says things like that?

Sam Marquez: Dear, God, please make them stop.
Mike Cannon: Yeah, your brother and your boss. Not the most holy of unions.
Sam Marquez: Nuh-uh. What am I gonna do?
Mike Cannon: Ignore it.
Sam Marquez: I'm trying, but I can't. I mean, this is interfering with my job. The time I've spent showering, alone.
Mike Cannon: Showering?
Sam Marquez: Should I talk to him? I should talk to him! Thanks, Mike!

Delinda Deline: Two words: Polyester.
Ed Deline: Two words: Calm down.
Delinda Deline: Don't tell me to calm down! You're not even listening to me!
Ed Deline: No, I'm not. I'm trying to study for my driver's test.
Delinda Deline: No one studies for their driver's test!
Ed Deline: Well not everyone has a genius IQ, sweetheart.
Delinda Deline: It does come in handy sometimes. Hey, quit changing the subject! This is a slippery slope, Daddy. I mean, first the wait-staff at Mystique wears polyester uniforms, then who knows what she'll suggest? Stripes with plaids? Denim on denim's? Skorts?!
Ed Deline: Skorts? What's a skort?
Delinda Deline: Where does it end, Daddy? Where??

Bob Marquez: She touches me, Sam, to the soul and beyond.
Sam Marquez: I'm going to slap you.
Bob Marquez: We're soulmates, and I'm thinking she's going to be part of our family one day.
Sam Marquez: I'm going to go throw up.

Everything Old Is You Again

Bold, Beautiful And Blue

Delinda Deline: Did you know I was a magician's assistance once?
Sam Marquez: Why does that not surprise me?
Delinda Deline: The Amazing Roger. He was super cute. I actually learned a few tricks myself.
Mike Cannon: Really? Like what?
Delinda Deline: Once we were driving home from a show, and I put my hand on his thigh and he turned into a motel.

Monica Mancuso: [Looking at Mary and Sam's revealing tops] I'm sorry, did we open a Hooters?
Sam Marquez: [Motioning to Monica's chest] If we did, you're in trouble.


Green Phantom: Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Green Phantom!
Delinda Deline: Actually, you're costume is wrong.
Green Phantom: What?
Delinda Deline: Your mask should be less Batman and more Zorro. Your cape's too long and your boots are all wrong, and hike up your pants for God's sake! You're supposed to be a super hero!

Delinda Deline: I guess it's just me and you, girl.
Sam Marquez: Oy.

Delinda Deline: Oh, great. Every casino host in town is here.
Sam Marquez: Aw, that's so sweet. They all came to pay their respects. What a nice little club you belong to.
Delinda Deline: They're not here to pay their respects. They're all after J.W.'s black book!
Sam Marquez: That's not very nice.
Delinda Deline: Casino hosts aren't very nice people.
Sam Marquez: But Sam, you're a casino host.
Delinda Deline: Exactly.

Sam Marquez: I smell whales.
Delinda Deline: I smell embalming fluid.

For Sail By Owner

Delinda Deline: Did you hear about Monica?
Sam Marquez: No, what?
Delinda Deline: Flew off the roof last night, landed over at the Wynn. Crashed right into the Manolo Blahnik one day sample sale.
Sam Marquez: You're kidding! That was yesterday?
Delinda Deline: Check them out. [Shows Sam her black sandal pumps] Aren't they delicious?
Sam Marquez: They're fabulous!

Sam Marquez: I hate funerals. Pretending to mourn for someone you despised. Doesn't that bother you guys?
Delinda Deline: Not me. I like pretending.
Mary Connell: Now that we know Monica left it all to charity, I feel like maybe she was just misunderstood.
Sam Marquez: Really? I feel like maybe she was just a bitch.

Down & Dirty

Bait And Switch

Danny McCoy: Have a seat.
Delinda Deline: Shouldn't I be handcuffed?
Danny McCoy: No. I'm just going to ask you a few questions.
Delinda Deline: Yes, you are the best sex ever. Have you ever done it in here?
Danny McCoy: No. No, I haven't.
Delinda Deline: I bet you have, and you probably invited a few people to watch. I'd try that. I bet it would be fun.
Danny McCoy: You know, you're the second person I've run into today that thought that.
Delinda Deline: So, you want to?
Danny McCoy: No! I'm trying to conduct an interview here, Delinda, so just --
Delinda Deline: Okay! I'm sorry!
Danny McCoy: Be professional. So, did you notice anything unusual at the video shoot?
Delinda Deline: I'm not wearing any panties.

Delinda Deline: Just so you know, before when I asked about you being sweet on me, I wasn't suggesting anything.
Danny McCoy: Yes you were!
Delinda Deline: You wish I was!
Danny McCoy: No, you were. The only thing that I wish is that we didn't have to beat around the bush. We're consenting adults, right?
Delinda Deline: Absolutely!
Danny McCoy: Absolutely. I mean, if we want to have sex with each other we should just say so.
Delinda Deline: Absolutely.

The Bitch is Back

Mike Cooper: That reverse psychology stuff, that's cheating, Sam.
Sam Marquez: Uh-huh. If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin', Mike.
Mike Cooper: Damn.

Delinda Deline: [Trips]] Ouch!
Ed Deline: Honey, are you okay?
Delinda Deline: Ow! My shoe!
Mary Connell: Aren't those the shoes you got at the sale where Monica...
Delinda Deline: Yes. I'm still breaking them in, I guess.
Ed Deline: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You bought those shoes where she died?
Delinda Deline: They were on sale.

Mary Connell: Is that the infamous Paul Logan I see at BlackJack 22?
Sam Marquez: Yep.
Mary Connell: He seems so --
Sam Marquez: Stupid?
Mary Connell: I was going to say sophisticated.
Sam Marquez: That's not sophisticated, it's British. Don't get confused.

Sam Marquez: You've got to hand it to Monica.
Mary Connell: What?
Sam Marquez: Even death can't keep that bitch from ruining my life.

And Here's Mike With The Weather

Sam Marquez: Who's the hottest server you have working right now?
Delinda Deline: I would have to say Steve. He has a nice, tight little ass.
Sam Marquez: Not a guy. A female.
Delinda Deline: Are you thinking about switching teams again?
Sam Marquez: I want someone to listen in and these two and report back to me.
Delinda Deline: Why, what's going on?
Sam Marquez: Anything to do with the Montecito's gaming license or potential lack thereof effects my bottom line.
Delinda Deline: And you don't think they'll mind if some hot girl is just hovering around them?
Sam Marquez: Listen to what you just said.

Urban Legends

Coyote Ugly

Delinda Deline: Was it fun being mean?
Sam Marquez: Of course it is. Why do you think I do it all the time?

Sam Marquez: Hey, you know what, Mary? My client over there, he's lost 250 grand.
Delinda Deline: He's really --
Sam Marquez: Sad. Yeah.
Mary Connell: Aw.
Sam Marquez: Yeah, he's sad. Listen, maybe you could just go over there and kind of be yourself.
Delinda Deline: Be super sweet!
Sam Marquez: Yeah, be nice to him.
Mary Connell: Poor guy.
Sam Marquez: Thanks, sweetie.
Delinda Deline: Thanks, Mar. She does come in handy.
Sam Marquez: She does come in handy sometimes.

Lyle & Substance

Like A Virgin

Mary Connell: That's sweet.
Sam Marquez: Yeah, sweet. He's up on us by over a million dollars. Why are you still such a hopeless romantic? You're weird.
Mary Connell: You're weird! And another thing, Lipworth is spending a lot more than a mil on this wedding. So while your commission might be effected by the fact that he stopped playing, the Montecito will still come out way ahead, which is all I care about!
Sam Marquez: Pretty sassy there sassafrass.
Mary Connell: Is it too much?
Sam Marquez: I like it.
Mary Connell: I'm still working on it.

Cash Springs Eternal

All Quiet On The Montecito Front

Chaos Theory

Fidelity, Security, Delivery

Father Of The Bride

Season 4

Father Of The Bride Redux

Died In Plain Sight

The Story Of Owe

History Of Violins

Delinda's Box: Part 1

Delinda's Box: Part 2

Delinda Deline: You're going to die, you know. They shut down your airport. It's only a matter of time.
Kidnapper: By the time the police figure any of this out I'll be on a beach earning twenty percent.
Delinda Deline: [Laughs]
Kidnapper: I'm glad you think all of this is funny.
Delinda Deline: What's funny is you actually think the police will be involved. There will be no police, no FBI. There will only be men whose sole responsibility will be to hunt you down and kill you. All of you. And they will. They always do.

Delinda Deline: Sucks to be you.

Meatball Montecito

White Christmas

Delinda Deline: I just want our first Christmas together to be special, do you know what I mean?
Sam Marquez: He is just pissing away his money.
Delinda Deline: Isn't that what you want?
Sam Marquez: Of course it's what we want, but we want people to piss away their money correctly.
Delinda Deline: Oh. I didn't know there was a correct way to piss away money.
Sam Marquez: Well there is! Now what is it you're going on about?
Delinda Deline: It's Danny and mine's first Christmas. I'm planning a special, candlelit romantic Christmas Eve dinner. Then a little cuddling by the fire --
Sam Marquez: Okay, hold it. I don't want to hear about you and Danny playing hide the salami in front of the fireplace or under the Christmas tree.
Delinda Deline: Why does everyone think that's all we do?
Sam Marquez: Because you two couldn't stop banging each other if your lives depended on it.
Delinda Deline: [Smiles]
Sam Marquez: In fact, I'm surprised you two aren't permanently attached at the crotch.

Delinda Deline: I have no idea what to get Sam for Christmas.
Mary Connell: How about anti-evil pills? Oh, that's right, the ones she got last year didn't do the trick.

Wines And Misdemeanors

Fleeting Cheating Meeting

Wagers Of Sin

The Chicken Is Making My Back Hurt

Pharaoh 'Nuff

Sam Marquez: I need a favor.
Delinda Deline: What's up?
Sam Marquez: I need you to be Asad Sumar's casino host for at least a day.
Delinda Deline: What?
Sam Marquez: I know he bought you that expensive dress, if you say no you'll look like a money grubbing whore.
Delinda Deline: You know about the dress?
Sam Marquez: Everybody knows about the dress.
Delinda Deline: Even Danny?
Sam Marquez: He's actually a little smarter than he looks, isn't he?
Delinda Deline: I knew that would come back to bite me in the ass.
Sam Marquez: I know. Your ass is pretty popular these days, so that's nice isn't it? Will you do this for me? Pretty please?
Delinda Deline: He's pissed at me.
Sam Marquez: Well since he's pissed at you, maybe you should pass the time by, say, making some extra money and filling in for me.
Delinda Deline: How much extra?
Sam Marquez: Well it would be enough to pay Asad back for that dress if you were stupid enough to do it.
Delinda Deline: You've got yourself a deal.

Delinda Deline: You like someone.
Sam Marquez: No I don't. [Pause] You just worry about Asad. I'll worry about not liking someone.

The Burning Bedouin

Bare Chested In The Park

Junk In The Trunk



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