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List of Simpsons Prank Calls: Wikis

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Up to date as of January 14, 2010

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For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).

This is a list of prank telephone calls that have occurred in the animated television series The Simpsons.


Season 1

"Some Enchanted Evening" [7G01]

Moe: Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Hello, is Al there?
Moe: Al?
Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.
Moe: Lemme check... [calls] Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an "Alcoholic" here?
[bar denizens laugh]
Moe: Wait a minute...[to phone] Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'll kill you!

Moe: [answering the phone] Moe's Tavern.
Bart: Is Oliver there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Oliver Klozoff.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. [calls] Oliver Klozoff! Call for "All of her clothes off"!
Bart & Lisa: [laugh]
[Marge picks up the phone]
Moe: Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!
Marge: Goodness, must be a wire!

"Homer's Odyssey" [7G03]

Bart: Is Mister Freely there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Freely, first initials I. P.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! "I pee freely"! [the customers laugh] Wait a minute... Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
Homer: You'll get that punk someday, Moe.
Moe: I don't know. He's tough to catch. He keeps changing his name.

"Moaning Lisa" [7G06]

Moe: Yeah, Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking.
Bart: Is Jacques there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Jacques, last name Strap.
Moe: Uh, hold on. [to everyone in the bar] Uh, Jacques...Strap...Hey guys I'm looking for a "Jock strap". [laughs from all] Oh... wait a minute...Jock strap?!... It's you isn't it, ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!

Season 2

"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish" [7F11]

Moe: Hello, Moe's Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butz.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody! I wanna "See more butts"! [the entire bar laughs; realizes] Wait a minute...Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

"Principal Charming" [7F15]

Bart: Hello, is Homer there?
Moe: Homer who?
Bart: Homer...Sexual.
Moe: Wait one second, let me check. [calls] Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey, come on, one of you guys has got to be "Homosexual"! [bar denizens laugh]
Homer: Don't look at me! [guffaws from the gang]
Moe: Oh no... [as Bart gives the phone to Skinner] You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!
Skinner: You'll do WHAT, young man?!
Moe: What, what, wait, who is this?
Skinner: I think the real question is who is this, and where is Homer Simpson?!
Moe: Whoa, whoa, sorry, Principal Skinner, sorry. It's a bad connection I thinks. Homer, it's for you, I think Bart's in trouble again.
Homer: D'oh!

"Blood Feud" [7F22]

Moe: [answers the phone] Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink.
Bart: Uh, yeah hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. [calls] Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen "My crotch" lately?! [snickers from the patrons] [to phone] Listen, to me you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!

Season 3

"Treehouse of Horror II" [8F02]

Moe: [answers the phone] Moe's Tavern....Hold on, I'll check. Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.
All: [laugh]
Barney: Ho ho, that's a new one.
Moe: Wait a minute... [picks up the receiver]
Bart: [hangs up and laughs]
Ms. K: [holding the phone, forces a laugh]

"Flaming Moe's" [8F08]

Moe: [answering the phone] Flaming Moe's.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Last name Jass. First name Hugh.
Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check. [calling] Hugh Jass! Can somebody check the men's room for a "Huge ass"?!
Hugh Jass: Uh, I'm Hugh Jass.
Moe: Telephone. [hands over the receiver]
Hugh Jass: Hello, this is Hugh Jass.
Bart: [surprised] Uh, hi.
Hugh Jass: Who's this?
Bart: Bart Simpson.
Hugh Jass: Well, what can I do for you, Bart?
Bart: Uh, look, I'll level with you, Mister. This is a prank call that sort of backfired. I'd like to bail out right now.
Hugh Jass: All right. Better luck next time. [hangs up] What a nice young man.

"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk" [8F09]

Moe: Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking.
Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem? First name, Bea.
Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I'll check. [calls] Uh, Bea O'Problem? Bea O'Problem! Come on guys, do I have a "B.O. problem" here?!
Barney: You sure do! [bar denizens laugh]
Moe: Oh... [to phone] It's you, isn't it!
Bart: [laughs]
Moe: Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!

Season 4

"New Kid on the Block" [9F06]

Moe: [answers the phone] Yeah, just a sec; I'll check. [calls] Amanda Hugginkiss! Hey, I'm lookin' for Amanda Hugginkiss! Oh, why can't I find "A man to hug and kiss"?! [bar denizens laugh]
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high!
Moe: [to phone] You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs up your butt!
Bart: My name is Jimbo Jones and I live at 742 Evergreen Terrace.
Moe: Aha! Big mistake, pal! I knew he'd slip up sooner or later!

Laura: [on the phone] Hello, I'd like to speak to Ms. Tinkle? First name...
Bart: [whispers]
Laura: [continues] Ivana?
Moe: [on the phone] Ivana Tinkle, just a sec. [calls] Ivana Tinkle! Ivana Tinkle! Hey, everybody, put down your glasses. "I wanna tinkle"!

Season 7

"Homer the Smithers" [3F14]

Moe: Moe's tavern.
Burns: I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Waylon.
Moe: Oh... So you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh?... First name Waylon, is it?! Listen to me, you! When I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes, and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!

"Bart on the Road" [3F17]

Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Ura.
Moe: Ura Snotball? ["You're a snotball"]
Homer: What? How dare you?! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran! [hangs up]

Season 13

"Homer the Moe" [CABF20]

Homer: [answering the phone] Yello? [split screen, with the other half showing Bart on the couch at home]
Bart: Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Tabooger. First name, Ollie.
Homer: Ooh, Bart! My first prank call! What do I do?
Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
Homer: I don't get it.
Bart: Yell out, "I'll eat a booger."
Homer: What's the gag?
Bart: Oh, forget it. [hangs up]

Season 14

"Helter Shelter" [DABF21]

[This prank is over a telegraph because the Simpsons are forced to live like it is 1895. For some reason Moe has a telegraph in his tavern]
Moe: Telegram for Heywood U. Kuddulmee! Heywood U. Kuddulmee? Big guy in the back, "Hey, would you cuddle me"? [Big guy stares at Moe. Lenny and Carl laugh]
Moe: Oh, do, that little, ooh...[to telegraph] I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific, stop!
Bart: [Laughs]

Season 15

"The Way We Weren't" [FABF13]

Marge: I'd like to speak to Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar.
Moe: Hey, don't you try and prank me with a fake name! I will rip out your intestines and use them to make a lanyard! Hello? Hello? Ooh... and that's the origin of that. Yes.

Season 18

"24 Minutes" [JABF14]

Bart is trying to call the Counter-Truancy unit on a cellphone; the line sounds like it is crossed

  • Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now!
  • Bart: Who is this?
  • Jack: I'm Jack Bauer - who the hell are you?
  • Bart: Me? I'm, uh, Ahmed Adoudi.
  • Jack: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoudi. Does anyone there know "I made a doodie"?
  • Chloe: Ahmed Adoudi - wealthy Saudi financier. Disappeared into Afghanistan in the late '90s.
  • Jack: Really?
  • Chloe: No, Jack, it's a joke name. You're being set up!
  • Jack: Damn it!

Bart laughs; Jack fires a gun at someone

The Simpsons Movie

[As Russ Cargill levels a shotgun at Homer and Bart]
Bart: Wait! If you kill my dad, you'll never know where the treasure is buried!
Cargill: What treasure?
Bart: The treasure of... Ima Weiner.
Cargill: "I'm a weiner"?
[Homer and Bart laugh]
Homer: Classic!

Season 20

"Lost Verizon"

Bar Tender 1: Aloha.
Bart: Aloha to you, I'm looking for Maya, last name Normusbutt.
Bar Tender 1: Hang on, I'll check. Has anyone here seen "My enormous butt"?!
[bar denizens laugh]
Bar Tender 2: I've got a Drew P. Wiener here. Anyone expecting a Drew P. Wiener? I hold in my hands a "droopie wiener"!
Bar denizen: Better put it down there mate. [bar denizens laugh]
Bar Tender 3: I shall enquire. Is there a Mr. Myfriendsaregay, first name Olaf? Attention everyone, "all of my friends are gay"! [bar denizens laugh]
Bar Tender 3: Wait a minute, if I ever get a hold of you, I will thank you for showing me the futility of human endeavour!
(Bart and Milhouse laugh)


Del Grande, Don (2004). Bart's Calls To Moe's. Retrieved on 2006-04-07.

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