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Mean Machine

Promotional poster for Mean Machine
Directed by Barry Skolnick
Produced by Matthew Vaughn
Written by Tracy Keenan Wynn
Charlie Fletcher
Chris Baker
Andrew Day
based on The Longest Yard
by Albert S. Ruddy
Starring Vinnie Jones
David Kelly
David Hemmings
Ralph Brown
Vas Blackwood
Robbie Gee
Geoff Bell
John Forgeham
Sally Phillips
Jason Flemyng
With Danny Dyer
And Jason Statham
as "Monk"
Music by John Murphy
Cinematography Alex Barber
Editing by Eddie Hamilton
Dayn Williams
Distributed by Paramount Classics (USA)
United International Pictures (Other countries)
Release date(s) United Kingdom
December 26, 2001
United States
February 22, 2002
(New York City, New York)
May 9, 2002
Running time 101 min.
Country United Kingdom
Language English
Budget £2,800,000

Mean Machine is a 2001 British comedy-drama film, directed by Barry Skolnick. It stars former English footballer Vinnie Jones. The film is an adaptation of the 1974 American film The Longest Yard, featuring association football rather than American football.


Danny Meehan, a former captain of England's national football team who was banned for life for fixing a match between England and Germany, is sentenced to three years in Longmarsh prison after assaulting two police officers while drunk. Once inside, he is promptly beaten by the prison guards for misbehaving, and is subsequently approached by the prison warden. The warden offers Meehan a job as coach of the prison guards' football team. Not wanting to make enemies with the other prisoners, Meehan declines, and instead offers to train a practice team for the guards consisting of other inmates, who will take them on in a match.

Meehan ends up with the resident contraband dealer, Massive, as his right-hand man. He also receives advice from ancient convict, Doc, who teaches Meehan prison lore.

Meehan is then occupied with the task of training up his team of cons, with a violent con named Monk (Jason Statham) and a violent Scottish inmate. It is all going well until the warden attempts to blackmail him into throwing the match. At first he puts his own interests before that of the team's, but as the final moments of the game tick down, he redeems himself, and wins the game for the cons. It also reunites most of the cast who have starred in the Guy Ritchie blockbusters Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch.

Tagline: Not Your Usual Suspects


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