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Michael McIntyre
Michael McIntyre.jpg
McIntyre at the British Academy Television Awards 2009
Birth name Michael McIntyre
Born 15 February 1976 (1976-02-15) (age 34)
Merton, London
Medium Stand-up, television
Nationality British
Years active 2003 — present
Genres Social satire, observational comedy
Spouse Kitty McIntyre (2003 - present)

Michael McIntyre (born 15 February 1976) is a British stand-up comedian. He is well-known for appearing at many British stand-up comedy events, and for several roles on television stand-up programmes such as Live at the Apollo and his own show, Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow. McIntyre has also appeared on television panel shows including Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You, and has made radio appearances.

McIntyre has released two stand-up DVDs. Live and Laughing was released in 2008 and featured material from his first nationwide tour, and Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley was released in November 2009 and featured his routine at Wembley Arena. Live and Laughing was the fastest selling debut stand-up DVD ever and Michael McIntyre: Hello Wembley became the fastest selling stand-up DVD ever [1] selling over a million copies and reaching Number 1 in the DVD charts for Christmas 2009. In 2009 Mcintyre performed live to half a million people and won Best Stand-up at The British Comedy Awards.

McIntyre was rumoured to be replacing Jonathan Ross as he leaves the BBC, but he has since ruled himself out.[2][3][4][5]


Early life

McIntyre was born in Merton and raised in Hampstead.[6] McIntyre's parents were both involved in showbusiness: his Canadian father, Ray Cameron, was the producer, writer and director of The Kenny Everett Television Show and his mother, Kati, was a dancer.[6] McIntyre's parents divorced when he was seven, after which Cameron remarried and moved to Los Angeles.[6] Cameron died of a heart attack when McIntyre was 17.[6]


McIntyre was educated at the all-boys Arnold House School and attended Merchant Taylors' School, Northwood for 3 years before taking up a place at a local state comprehensive secondary school.[7] McIntyre later attended Edinburgh University for a year before dropping out.[8] He has said that he cannot remember whether it was Biology or Chemistry that he studied while there.[6][8]


McIntyre's first DVD Live & Laughing is the fastest selling debut stand-up DVD ever.[1] He was nominated at the 2008 British Comedy Awards for Best Live Stand-up and nominated at the 2009 The South Bank Show Awards for Best Comedy. In 2008 he was the fastest selling comedian at the Edinburgh Festival .[9] and sold out five nights at London's 3600 capacity Hammersmith Apollo. In 2009 he won Best Stand-up at the British Comedy Awards and performed for 500,000 people on his UK tour that included a record breaking six nights at Wembley Arena and four at The O2 Arena. His second .D.V.D., 'Hello Wembley' was another hit.


Television and stage

Michael McIntyre has appeared three times on BBC One's Live at the Apollo and also on the Royal Variety Performance, in both 2006 and 2008.[10]

His routine on We Are Most Amused, staged at the New Wimbledon Theatre on 12 November 2008 in aid of the Prince's Trust, was also televised. This comedy gala celebrated the 60th Birthday of Prince Charles, and was performed in the presence of The Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.

Among McIntyre's many comedy panel show appearances are Mock the Week, 8 out of 10 Cats, Have I Got News for You, The Big Fat Quiz of the Year, Would I Lie To You?, and The Apprentice: You're Fired. On 13 February 2009, he was a guest on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross on BBC One.

On 21 February 2009, McIntyre appeared live as a guest judge alongside head judge Anton du Beke and fellow guest Emma Bunton in the first round of Let's Dance for Comic Relief. He appeared on the show again in the final on 14 March 2009.

Beginning on 6 June 2009, McIntyre began hosting a BBC show on Saturday nights entitled Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow.

On 5 July 2009, McIntyre appeared on the BBC show Top Gear as the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car and achieved a respectable time of 1 minute 48.7 seconds. During his lap he almost rolled the car while going around Gambon corner, named for Sir Michael Gambon who, in only the eighth episode, did the same thing in the previous Reasonably Priced Car.

In December 2009, Michael controversially cancelled a stand up show 30 minutes before he was due on stage after discovering that he would be performing to a room full of debt collectors. Michael had revealed only weeks earlier how he'd struggled with substantial debt only a few years before breaking through in to the mainstream. McIntyre stated that he would have gone against his principles by performing the show.[11]


Personal life

McIntyre lives in Muswell Hill, London with his aromatherapist wife, Kitty, and their two sons, Lucas (born 2005) and Oscar (born 2008).[1]

McIntyre is a supporter of Tottenham Hotspur FC.[12]

Whilst performing on stage in Wolverhampton in 2008, as he was walking back onto stage for his encore, McIntyre slipped, fell over and dislocated his shoulder. Many of the audience believed this to be part of his act and started to laugh, only after his manager came on stage to assist did they realise it was real.[13]


Year Award Category
2009 British Comedy Award
  • Best Stand up
2008 Chortle Awards
  • Best Headliner
2007 Chortle Awards
  • Best Headliner (nominated)
2003 Edinburgh Festival Perrier Award
  • Best Newcomer (nominated)

Stand-up appearances

Year Event
  • National tour
  • Soho Theatre, London
  • Lyric Theatre, London
  • Old Fire Station, Oxford
  • Edinburgh Festival
  • Comedy Festival
  • Just For Laughs - Comedy Festival, Montreal
  • An Evening with Michael McIntyre - Edinburgh Festival
  • Garrick Theatre, London
  • Kilkenny Comedy Festival
  • Brighton Comedy Festival
  • Latitude Festival, Suffolk
  • Royal Variety Performance
  • Edinburgh Festival
  • Edinburgh Festival

DVD releases

Title Released Notes
Live and Laughing 17 November 2008 Live at London's Hammersmith Apollo
Hello Wembley 16 November 2009 Live at London's Wembley Arena

Television credits


  1. ^ a b c "Michael-McIntyre-s-DVD-is-magic/". 
  2. ^ h
  3. ^
  4. ^
  5. ^
  6. ^ a b c d e Amanda Cable (2008-11-14). "Michael McIntyre: My other dad was Kenny Everett but I wish I'd spent more time with my real father| Mail Online". Retrieved 2009-07-04. 
  7. ^ Gannon, Louise (2009-03-27). "'I spent my life trying to be cool and failing': Michael McIntyre on his change of fortune". Mail Online. Retrieved 2009. 
  8. ^ a b "Laughing all the way to a television near you - Michael McIntyre - Living". Retrieved 2009-07-04. 
  9. ^ "Michael McIntyre comedy edinburgh fringe edinburgh - Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2008 -". Retrieved 2009-07-04. 
  10. ^ Michael McIntyre. "Michael McIntyre Stand up Comedian". Michael Retrieved 2009-08-31. 
  11. ^ Michael McIntyre. "Michael McIntyre wins an award, cancels show for debt collectors, charity auction, TV highlights". Retrieved 2010-01-03. 
  12. ^ "Comedian issues Spurs rallying call". Retrieved 2009-07-20. 
  13. ^ "Comic McIntyre injured at gig : Express & Star". 2008-10-31. Retrieved 2009-07-04. 

External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Michael Hazen McIntyre (born 1976) is a British comedian.


Michael McIntyre Comedy Store Special

  • I take the shopping in, ladies and gentlemen... in one fucking go. [mimics weighing himself down with shopping] "Get the door! Get the door!" She's like, "Shoes off!" I'm like, "FUCK OFF!"

Live at the Apollo (November 26, 2007)

  • It's never enough to say you’re from London, people want to know exactly where you’re from. They see it as more of a test of their own geographical knowledge. You say "I’m from London" people go [high pitched excited voice] "Where abouts, where abouts, where abouts, where abouts exactly, where abouts?" "Uh... North London." If they know it they get more excited. [more excited voice] "Where abouts, where abouts, where abouts?" "Muswell Hill" [even more excited voice] "Where abouts? Where abouts?!" "Do you know Sainsbury’s?" "Yeeeeeeessssssssss!"
  • [about public transport] It's unbelievable. People are so desperate to get home. The trains come very regularly, you see them, one minute, two minutes, three minutes... this means nothing to people. As soon as you get on the platform it's a level playing field. I don't care when you arrived, I'm getting on this train.
  • [about travelling by train]"Please let the passengers off the train first." British people have an amazing ability to let people off a train whilst at all times, moving forwards.
  • And everyone's reading, you have to read, you can't be on the tube without reading, reading is very important. You get on on the morning and every single person is reading the Metro. Everyone, everyone. [imitates line of people reading newspaper] Why doesn't one person just read it to the carriage?
  • So hello! I'm good at hello, I'm not very good with goodbye, especially on the phone. I don't know what's happened, every time I say goodbye I sound like a fucking idiot. What is it? You sound like a child, you feel it coming when you're on the phone. It can be a very serious conversation "of course I'll be at the funeral, I loved your father deeply, I'll say a few words. [high pitched] Byeeeeee!" Why am I doing that?
  • People still, old people, insist on picking up the phone and saying their home number, why are you doing that? What a complete waste of time. [imitating old person] "020767944!" [exasperated person on other end] "I know that, I've just dialled it! It's the last thing I did on earth was dial those numbers. Do you open the front door and say your address? It's the same principle."
  • [imitates a terrorist] "We must penetrate the west at their most vulnerable spot: Glasgow Airport!" [shakes head] I think the lesson was learned: don't... fuck... with Scottish people... who have a holiday booked, okay? [imitates Scottish tourist] "I'll get the trolley. You get the bags and stuff. We'll get the rest of the stuff at duty-free. You got our tickets and the passports? What gate are we? Twenty... two. Hold on while I punch this burning man in the face. Fuck off! Bastard! Majorca, here we come! Ten days, I couldn't afford two weeks! Hang on while I just get a light off his face! Hold still, you Al-Qaeda bastard! Where you from?" "Afghan.." "Whereabouts?"
  • My son's got two words: "car" and "map", that's all he can say. [baby voice] "Car, car, map, car!" [normal voice] I'm fairly worried he's trying to escape. So if the next word is "passport," we're in serious trouble.
  • [Scottish accent] "We don't need your English bastard pounds! We're our own country, we'll have our own bloody money, eh?!" "Would you like your own currency?" "Ah, it's complicated mathematically. Let's just have yours with our photos, I think that's the best way!"
  • [imitating a scottish person] (on Scottish money) I think you'll find pal, that's legal tender.

Live and Laughing (2008)

  • [on Valentine's cards] Just last week I wrote "I still love you. See last year's card for full details."
  • I went "0-7..." and he actually went "Slow down!" So I went "0..." and he went "0-7-0..." "No! 0-7..." "0-7-0-0-7..." "No! 0...7..." "0-7-0-0-7-0-7" "Start again!" "How's Susan?" "Not the conversation, the number! That's not my number!" "Giving me a fake number?! Don't you want me to call?!" "No, no...!" Anyway, he hasn't called.
  • And traffic! Traffic's a nightmare! That's how people describe it, a nightmare. Has anyone had this nightmare? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" "What is it, darling? Are you all right?" "No, I'm not all right at all!" "What was it?" "TRAFFIC!!!"
  • See, you learn about humans when you have a baby. Like girls. Girls are so much more advanced than boys. I seriously think that girls are born in conversation. Like, they come out of the womb, talking: "Are you my mother? Lovely to put a name to a face."

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