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Monsters vs. Aliens
Theatrical Poster
Directed by	Conrad Vernon Rob Letterman
Produced by	Lisa Stewart Co-producers: Jill Hopper Latifa Ouaou
Written by	Maya Forbes Wallace Wolodarsky Rob Letterman Jonathan Aibel Glenn Berger Conrad Vernon
Starring	Reese Witherspoon Seth Rogen Hugh Laurie Will Arnett Conrad Vernon Rainn Wilson Kiefer Sutherland Stephen Colbert Paul Rudd
Music by	Henry Jackman
Editing by	Joyce Arrastia Eric Dapkewicz
Studio	DreamWorks Animation
Distributed by	Paramount Pictures
Release date(s)	March 27, 2009 (2009-03-27)[1]
Running time	95 minutes
Country	United States
Language	English
Budget	$175 million
Gross revenue	$383,466,116[2]

Monsters vs. Aliens is a 2009 American computer-animated 3-D feature film from DreamWorks Animation and Paramount Pictures. The movie was the first computer animated movie to be directly produced in a stereoscopic 3-D format instead of being converted into 3-D after completion, which added $15 million to the film's budget.^[3]

The film was scheduled for a May 2009 release, but the release date was moved to March 27, 2009. It was released on DVD and Blu-Ray September 29, 2009 in North America. Monsters vs. Aliens features the voices of Reese Witherspoon, Seth Rogen, Hugh Laurie, Will Arnett, Conrad Vernon, Rainn Wilson, Kiefer Sutherland, Stephen Colbert, and Paul Rudd.

Plot

Susan Murphy (Reese Witherspoon) is hit by a meteorite on the day of her wedding to weatherman Derek Dietl (Paul Rudd), absorbing a substance called quantonium and growing into a giantess. Alerted to the meteorite crash, the military arrive and capture Susan. She is labeled a monster, renamed "Ginormica" by the government, and sent to a top-secret prison facility headed by General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) and containing other monsters: B.O.B. (Seth Rogen), a brainless, indestructible gelatinous blob; Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. (Hugh Laurie), a mad scientist with the head and abilities of a cockroach; the Missing Link (Will Arnett), an amphibious fish-ape hybrid; and Insectosaurus, a massive grub that is larger than Susan. The monsters are forbidden to have any contact with the outside world; while the other monsters have been living contentedly with this lifestyle for the past 50 years, Susan feels incredibly isolated and wishes to return to her old life.

An alien named Gallaxhar (Rainn Wilson) detects the quantonium radiation emanating from Earth and deploys a gigantic robotic probe to find it and extract it from its source, Susan. After a botched attempt by the President of the United States (Stephen Colbert) to make peaceful first contact with the robot, it begins destroying everything in sight, resisting all conventional military force used against it. General Monger convinces the President to use the monsters to fight the robot instead. The monsters accept the mission with the promise of freedom if they succeed. Arriving in San Francisco, Susan is chased by the robot across the city to the Golden Gate Bridge, where the monsters are able to defeat the robot.

Now free, Susan returns to her hometown and introduces her family and friends to the monsters, who are quickly rejected after innocently causing a panicked ruckus in the neighborhood. Derek, meanwhile, breaks up with Susan, claiming that he can't be married to someone who could overshadow his career. Initially devastated, Susan realizes that becoming a monster has improved her life, and fully embraces her new friends and lifestyle. Suddenly, she is abducted by Gallaxhar, who apparently kills Insectosaurus when he tries to save her. On Gallaxhar's spaceship, Susan breaks loose and chases Gallaxhar down, only to enter a machine that extracts the quantonium from her body, shrinking her to her normal size. Gallaxhar proceeds to use the quantonium to power a machine which clones him into an army so he can invade Earth.

With assistance from General Monger, B.O.B., Dr. Cockroach, and the Missing Link infiltrate Gallaxhar's spaceship, rescue Susan, and hot-wire the spaceship's power core, activating the spaceship's self-destruct sequence. However, during their escape attempt, Susan is cut off from her friends, who are trapped in the power core and tell her to save herself. Instead, Susan confronts Gallaxhar, who tries to escape with the quantonium, and attempts to force him into releasing her friends. When Gallaxhar says he cannot reverse the sequence, Susan takes the quantonium back and absorbs it, restoring her to her gianormous size and allowing her to save her friends. The monsters leap out of the exploding spaceship and are rescued by General Monger on the back of the revived Insectosaurus, who was not dead but pupating, and who has now metamorphosed into a giant butterfly.

The monsters receive a hero's welcome upon their return. Derek attempts to get back with Susan for the sake of interviewing her, which could benefit his career; instead, Susan rejects him and forces him to endure the humiliation of being thrown into the air and caught, swallowed and spit out by B.O.B. on camera. At that moment, the monsters are alerted to a monster attack near Paris and fly off to face the new menace.

Cast and characters

Monsters

• Reese Witherspoon as Ginormica: Susan Murphy from Modesto, California who is hit by a radioactive meteor on her wedding day, causing her to mutate and grow to a height of 49 feet 11.5 inches (15.227 m). Somewhat meek and unassertive, she initially wants nothing more than to return to her old life, but gradually warms up to her new status as a monster. Due to her exposure with the meteorite's radiation, in addition to her size, she is amazingly strong and has a resistance to energy attacks, making Gallaxhar's weapons all useless against her.
• Seth Rogen as B.O.B. (Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate): An indestructible gelatinous mass created when a genetically-altered tomato was injected with a chemically-altered ranch dessert topping. His greatest strength lies in his ability to devour and digest any substance as well as being indestructible. His one weakness is that his mutation didn't give him a brain, making him incredibly dimwitted, such as sometimes mistaking the other monsters' goals in life for his own, although his plan to infiltrate Gallaxhar's clones proves surprisingly successful. His main goal in life is to digest things.
• Hugh Laurie as Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D: A brilliant but mad scientist who, in an experiment to imbue himself with the resilience and abilities of a cockroach, ending up with a giant cockroach's head and some personality features of the cockroach, but gained the ability to climb up walls and high resistance to physical damage. He is charming and sophisticated in spite of his tendencies to eat garbage and laugh maniacally, working to help Susan learn more about her condition while in captivity.
• Will Arnett as The Missing Link: A 20,000-year-old fish-ape hybrid who was found frozen and thawed out by scientists, only to escape and wreak havoc at his old lagoon habitat. Usually referred to as Link, he behaves as a macho jock most of the time, but is rather out of shape. Despite this, he is an expert martial-artist and takes it upon himself to lead the team in attacks, even if his energetic attitude doesn't always work to their advantage.
• Conrad Vernon as Insectosaurus: Formerly a 1 inch (25 mm) grub transformed by nuclear radiation into a 350 feet (110 m) monster with the ability to shoot silk out of his nose. He is unable to speak clearly, and is mesmerized by bright lights (usually used to lead him to other locations); He also has a close bond with the Missing Link, who can understand what Insectosaurus is saying. In his butterfly form, he has wings and is able to fly and becomes the Monsters' mode of transportation.

Aliens

• Rainn Wilson as Gallaxhar: An evil alien overlord who hopes to take over Earth. He is served by gigantic robot probes and possesses a giant cloning machine. He claims to have suffered several traumas in his youth, driving him to destroy his own homeworld, and plans to make a new one on Earth - although viewers never hear most of the story. He aims to collect quantonium - the substance that transformed Susan - to give his cloning machine enough power to generate an army of clones of himself to conquer Earth, and is determined to extract it from Susan. Gallaxhar serves as the main antagonist of the film.
• Amy Poehler as Gallaxhar's Computer, a smooth-operating, user-friendly computer that follows his orders, albeit with a sarcastic tone.

Humans

• Kiefer Sutherland as General Warren. R. Monger: A military leader who runs a top secret facility where monsters are kept. It is his plan to fight the invading aliens with the imprisoned monsters. With this, the monsters gain his respect, and he gains theirs. In a scene during the credits, he claims to be 90 years old, in spite of his youthful appearance. His name is a pun on the word warmonger. Despite imprisoning the "monsters", he never shows them any particular disrespect, and upholds his part of the bargain to set them free when they defeat the alien probe. Later on, having helped the team infiltrate the ship, he comes back for them on Insectosaurus, just as he promised.
• Stephen Colbert as President Hathaway: The impulsive and rather dimwitted President of the United States. Not wanting to be remembered as "the President in office when the world came to an end", he agrees with General Monger's "monsters vs aliens" plan. He is very tolerant of the use of weapons, firing repeatedly—and pointlessly—at the original alien probe. He even suggests using nuclear weapons to attack the aliens, only to be stopped every time by his more-reliable staff. The character himself seems to be based on the Stephen Colbert character portrayed on The Colbert Report, sharing various attributes with him such as being quick to act without consideration for consequences, being somewhat ignorant to particular issues that he is faced with, wanting to show off by acting as "presidential" as he can, and sometimes being prone to acts of cowardice.
• Paul Rudd as Derek Dietl: A local weatherman and Susan's ex-fiancé. He jumps at whatever opportunity he has to boost his career, which causes him to place his job (and himself) before his relationship with Susan (he cancels their plans to have a romantic honeymoon in Paris to land an anchorman job in Fresno, for example). After she sees him as the self-obsessed man he really is, she effectively turns him down by publicly humiliating him during his attempted interview with her.
• Jeffrey Tambor as Carl Murphy: Susan's over-emotional father.
• Julie White as Wendy Murphy: Susan's loving mother.
• Renée Zellweger as Katie: A typical human girl. Her date with her boyfriend Cuthbert is interrupted by the landing of Gallaxhar's robot.
• John Krasinski as Cuthbert: Katie's boyfriend.
• Ed Helms as News Reporter
• David Koch as Australian newsreader: A newsreader in Australia who comically notes how aliens only ever seem to appear in America.

Production

Ed Leonard, CTO of DreamWorks Animation, says it took approximately 45.6 million computing hours to make Monsters vs. Aliens, more than eight times as many as the original Shrek. Several hundred Hewlett-Packard xw8600 workstations were used, along with a large and powerful 'render farm' of HP ProLiant blade servers with over 9,000 server processor cores, to process the animation sequence. The movie demanded 120 terabytes of data to complete, with one explosion scene alone requiring 6 TB.^[4]

Since Monsters vs. Aliens, all feature films released by DreamWorks Animation will be produced in a stereoscopic 3-D format, using Intel's InTru3D technology.^[5] IMAX 3D, RealD and 2D versions were released.

Marketing

The teaser trailer had two versions that show General W.R. Monger's plan to use the monsters to defeat the aliens. The first version was seen on the Kung Fu Panda DVD and the other version was shown with Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa. A full-length trailer was launched on the Internet on December 23, 2008.

To promote the 3-D technology that is used in Monsters vs. Aliens, DreamWorks ran a 3-D trailer before halftime in the U.S. broadcast of Super Bowl XLIII on February 1, 2009. Due to the limitations of current television technology, ColorCode 3D glasses were distributed at SoBe stands at major national grocers. The Monsters, except Susan and Insectosaurus, also appeared in a 3-D SoBe commercial airing after the trailer. Bank of America is giving away vouchers which cover the cost of an upgrade to a 3-D theatrical viewing of the film for its customers.^[6]

Reception

Critical reception

Based on 201 reviews collected by Rotten Tomatoes, Monsters vs. Aliens has an overall approval rating from critics of 72%, with an average score of 6.4/10.^[7] Among Rotten Tomatoes' Cream of the Crop, which consists of popular and notable critics from the top newspapers, websites, television, and radio programs, the film holds an overall approval rating of 58% based on 36 reviews.^[8] By comparison, on Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 top reviews from mainstream critics, the film has received an average score of 56, based on 35 reviews.^[9]

Box office

On its opening weekend, the film opened at #1, grossing $59.3 million in 4,104 theaters.^[10] Of that total, the film grossed an estimated $5.2 million in IMAX theaters, becoming the 5th highest-grossing IMAX debut, behind Star Trek, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, The Dark Knight and Watchmen.^[11] Worldwide, it is the third highest grossing animated film of 2009 with a total of $383,466,166. According to Boxofficemojo.com the film cost $175 Million dollars to develop.

Awards

On 2010, the films is nominated for 4 Annie Awards, including Voice Acting in a Feature Production for Hugh Laurie.

Home media

Monsters vs. Aliens was released to DVD and Blu-ray in the US and Canada on September 29, 2009 and on October 26, 2009 in the UK. The home release for both the DVD and Blu-ray format only contain the 2D version of the movie. However, the release is packaged with a new short, B.O.B.'s Big Break, which is old school 3D that required red and blue glasses.^[12] Also included are four pairs of 3D glasses.^[12] As of November 29, 2009 the DVD has sold 4,431,584 million copies generating $73.79 million in sales so far.^[13]

On January 6, 2010, it was announced that a 3D version will be released on Blu-ray.^[14] On February 24, a tentative March release date was set for the UK, where anyone who buys a Samsung 3D TV or 3D Blu-ray player will get a copy.^[15] On March 8, it was reported that the 3D Blu-ray will be released in the United States, also with Samsung 3D products, on March 21.^[16]

Video game

A video game was released on March 24, 2009 on Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, PlayStation 2, and Wii. The game, developed by Beenox and Amaze Entertainment, allows users to play through scenes from the movie as Ginormica, B.O.B., and The Missing Link, and features drop-in/out co-op.^[17] Players can play as Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D in multiplayer co-op, as well as Insectosaurus on the Nintendo DS version of the game. The music was composed by Jim Dooley, with live brass recorded at the Warner Brothers Eastwood Scoring Stage.^[18] The Monsters Vs. Aliens Videogame has garnered a Metacritic score of 63 for the Xbox 360 version of the title.

Television series

Jeffrey Katzenberg announced that Nickelodeon has ordered a pilot for a Monsters vs. Aliens cartoon series. This would be Nickelodeon's third DreamWorks deal, first being The Penguins of Madagascar and a second being an upcoming show, Kung Fu Panda: The Series.^[19]

Sequel

Despite its success Jeffrey Katzenberg was quoted in the Los Angeles Times that a sequel would not be made because of the film's weak performance in some key international markets.

Semi-sequels

B.O.B.'s Big Break

B.O.B. (Seth Rogen) and his monstrous crew are on a mission to bust out of Area 52, the government's top-secret holding cell. Led by mad-scientist Dr. Cockroach P.H.D. (Hugh Laurie) and macho amphibian the Missing Link (Will Arnett), the trio outwits grizzled General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) to make a triumphant escape after Cockroach's latest escape attempt—by feeding B.O.B. a chemical mixture to turn him into a bomb—results in B.O.B. temporarily acquiring the ability to read minds, allowing them to find out about a secret exit from Area 52. Unfortunately, the plan fails when B.O.B. smashes the jet they were using to escape—believing it to be a piñata,—the resulting explosion apparently erasing B.O.B.'s new power.

The short premiered on Nickelodeon in 2D on September 26, 2009.

Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space

A Halloween special entitled "Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins from Outer Space" premiered on RTÉ One on October 26, 2009.^[21][22][23] It is premiered on NBC in the United States of America on October 28, 2009.^[24] In Australia on the Seven Network on November 14, 2009 and Hong Kong on the TVB Pearl on October 31, 2009. In Portugal it premiered on SIC, in 1 January 2010. Susan and the fellow monsters go back to Susan's home just in time for Halloween celebrations. Susan spends time with her parents, while the other monsters join in trick-or-treating and collect a large amount of candies. Later, it is revealed that the monsters came to destroy mutant pumpkins hidden in the halloween decorations. When the pumpkins begin to eat children's candies to grow larger, the monsters and children defeat them by throwing excessive candies to bloat them up and explode them. But, in a twist ending, some of the pumpkin "blood" (a blue goo) falls into a planting of carrots, causing a mutant carrot to be formed.

References

External links

• Official website
• Movie's trailers
• Monsters vs Aliens at the Big Cartoon DataBase
• Monsters vs Aliens at the Internet Movie Database
• Monsters vs Aliens at Allmovie
• Monsters vs Aliens at Metacritic
• Monsters vs Aliens at Rotten Tomatoes
• Monsters vs Aliens at Box Office Mojo

From Wikiquote

Monsters vs Aliens is a 2009 3-D animation film produced by DreamWorks Animation and Paramount Pictures. It tells the story of Susan Murphy, an average girl who, after being hit by a meteor, is granted super strength and a near fifty-foot height by the foreign element contained within it. She is captured and imprisoned by the government until she and a squad of other imprisoned monsters are called upon to fend off an invading alien.

Gallaxhar

• The Omega Quadrant? Lame!

• [Susan tries to escape his forcefield] Don't bother, that forcefield is impenetrabl-- [Susan smashes her fist through, nearly hitting Gallaxhar] WHAT THE FLAGNOG?!

• [telling his life-story; is constantly interrupted by his cloning machine pressing him down] Many zentons ago, when I was but a squidling, I found out that my parents were... No child should ever have to endure that! So I went on the road, with a giant... and soon thereafter was married! Things were going well, until she wanted... and I was all "NO WAY!", and she was all "YES WAY!", and I was like... but I've told you too much already!

• Let the birth of my new planet - called, err... "Gallaxhar's... Planet" - begin!

• Humans of Earth! I have come in peace. You need not fear me. I mean you no harm. However, it may be important to know that most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. And those of you who do survive will be enslaved and experimented on. You should in no way take any of this personally - it's just business! So, just to recap: I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out.

• Attention, all aliens! DESTROY ALL MONSTERS!

• Oh, spaceballs.

Susan Murphy / Ginormica

• [as she grows, the wedding guests flee in terror] No, don't go! Please have some champagne while we sort this out!

• [seeing Gallaxhar's gigantic robot probe] I can't fight that thing! I never... I can't even... [gasping] I'm hyperventilating!... Does anybody have a giant paper bag?!

• Three weeks ago, if you had asked me to fight an alien robot, I would have said "No can do!" But I did it! Me! I'm so buzzing! Did you see how strong I was? There's probably not a jar in this world I can't open!

• [to her mother, after B.O.B. hugs her and nearly suffocates her in his gelatinous body] Sorry, mom. He's a hugger.

Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D

• [to Susan] Whatever mad scientist made you... he really went all-out.

• They called me crazy! But I'll show them! I'll show them all! [does a classic "mad scientist" laugh]

• I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There's a difference.

• We will think that the new Susan is the cat's "me-WOW"!

• Anyone care for an atomic gin fizz? It's got quite a [it explodes]...kick...

• [After the ruined party] At least the garbage was free.

• [to Susan after they rescue her] My dear, no matter what your size you'll always be...[notices the clones coming and pulls Susan down, shaking her] nothing but a filthy carbon based lifeform!

• [dancing off against Gallaxhar's computer] One thing you don't know about me, my dear! My Ph.D is in... DANCE!

• By Hawking's chair!

The Missing Link

• I know what you're thinking: first day in prison, you want to take on the toughest guy in the yard? Well, I'd like to see you try.

• Don't scare Insectosaurus! He's gonna pee himself, and then we'll all be in trouble!

• It's okay, buddy, don't worry about it. Who's a handsome bug, huh? You like it when I rub your tummy?

• [lifting weights] 6...7...8... [notices Susan] Uh, 999, 1,000! Phew! I can't believe I did ten sets!

• [walking outside for the first time in decades] It's a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer? That'd be great to know - it would be a very convenient truth.

• [swims through the sewers, as he gets out he bangs his head on the lid] OW!! [he slowly removes the lid and climbs out] Yep, that hurt... [is suddenly hit by Dr. Cockroach's rocket-powered trolley car]

• Papa's a little outta shape...

• [at Susan's party, Link turns on some music and tries to mingle] How's it going?...Ca' Pasa, Girlfriend?...way to cut up a rug, Insecto'! [Insectosaurus is slowly bouncing around]

• Who wants to go for a swim with the Link?

• [emerges from a swimming pool, walking in a zombie-like manner and scaring people] AAAAAARRGH! CHLORINE! CHLORINE! CHLORINE IN MY EYES!

• Oh, who are we kidding? We could save every city on the planet, and they'd still treat us like they've always treated us... like monsters.

• Wow, Ginormica ain't so... "Ginormic" any more.

• Insectosaurus, you're alive! [laughs happily, then looks surprised] And you're a butterfly...

B.O.B. (Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate)

• [to Gallaxhar's robot probe; making signs to match his words] Hello! Hi! Howya doing? Welcome! We are here to destroy you!

• What happened to the "there isn't a jar in the world I can't open" stuff? Wait! Did you find a jar that you couldn't open? What was in it? Were there pickles in it? Where's the giant jar of pickles?

• [to a plate of Jello] Hi, I'm Benzoate Ostylezene Bicarbonate, or you can call me B.O.B, whichever's easier. [the Jello wobbles slightly] Did I come on too strong? I'm sorry, I'm a little rusty, I've been in prison my whole life-- Why did I mention prison?! [he slams his fist on the table, making the Jello shake] Oh, I didn't mean to scare you! I'm just gonna go... oh, I feel so stupid!

• [to Susan] I don't think your parents like me. And I think that Jello gave me a fake phone number.

• [as the monsters' rather pathetic disguises actually fool Gallaxhar's clones] These disguises are "da bomb"!

• Derek, you are a selfish jerk, and guess what? I've met someone else! She's limegreen, she has 14 little chunks of pineapple inside her, and she is everything I deserve in life! I'm happy now, Derek! Without you! It's over!

• [to Susan] Wait, wait, wait, wa-wa-WAIT! You were dating Derek too?! THAT TWO-TIMING JERK!

General Monger

• This place is an X-File, wrapped in a cover-up and deep-fried in paranoid conspiracy!

• Don't think of this as prison. Think of it as a hotel. That you can never leave. Because it's locked from the outside.

• [seeing Gallaxhar's robot] Oo-ee! Now that's a robot! Try not to damage it too much, monsters. I might take it back to the farm!

• First stop, Modesto! Ginormica, I called your family to tell them you were coming home. I also called the Modesto PD, told 'em not to shoot at ya!

• If I don't return for you, I'm either dead or late.

President Hathaway

• I must face it alone.

• Commander! Do something violent!

• That's how you wanna play, alien varmint? Eat lead! [fires three shots; the robot is heard munching on them] Apparently, it eats lead. [to a crowd] I am brave! I am a brave President!

• Listen up! I'm not going to go down as the President who was in office when the world came to an end, so somebody think of something, and think of it fast! [sips coffee] That is a good cup of joe.

• General, I propose we go forward with your "monsters vs. aliens" idea... thingy.

Other

• Nerd 2: Holy Cheezits! What do we do? They never told us what to do! I only took this job because we didn't have to do anything!

• Nerd 2: [noticing the quantonium-ridden meteorite] This is "RedDwarf"! We actually have one! CODE NIMOY!

• Wendy Murphy: [as Bob spits her out] I taste ham.

• Derek Deitl: [rejecting Susan] I just can't stand the idea of living in someone else's shadow. And you cast a pretty big shadow.

• TV Reporter: Once again, a UFO has landed in America - the only country UFOs ever seem to land in!

• Wendy Murphy: Oh, honey, ever since you were a little baby, I knew... you would save the world from an alien invasion.

Dialogue

Mama Dietl: One thumb's shorter than the other. It runs in the family.

Susan: Derek doesn't have that--

Mama Dietl: It skips a generation. Your kids are gonna have it!

Dr. Cockroach: [about B.O.B.] You must forgive my friend, but as you can see, he has no brain.

B.O.B.: Turns out, you don't need one! Totally overrated! I don't even have to... [starts gasping for air] I forgot how to breathe! Help me, Doctor Cockroach!

Dr. Cockroach: [exasperated] Suck in, B.O.B.

B.O.B.: [breathes normally] Thanks, Doc. You're a lifesaver.

Missing Link: She's speechless!

B.O.B.: "She"?!

Dr. Cockroach: Yes, B.O.B., we are in the presence of a rare female monster.

B.O.B.: No way, it's a boy! Look at his boobies!

[Awkward silence]

Missing Link: We need to have a talk.

Dr. Cockroach: Gentlemen, I'm afraid we're not making a very good first impression.

Missing Link: Well, at least I'm talking! First new monster in years, and we couldn't get, like, a wolfman or a mummy? You know, someone I can play cards with.

Dr. Cockroach: Might we ask for your name, madam?

Susan: Susan.

B.O.B.: No, we mean your monster name. What do people scream when they see you coming? You know, like "LOOK OUT! HERE COMES..."?

[Silence]

Susan: Susan.

Dr. Cockroach: Really?

B.O.B.: [spookily] SUUUUSAAAN! Ooh, I just scared myself!

Susan: [meeting General Monger] Oh, thank goodness! A real person! [notices his jetpack] You are a real person, right? You're not one of those half-person, half-machine things? Whatever you call those things?

General W.R. Monger: A cyborg?

Susan: OH NO! YOU'RE A CYBORG!

Dr. Cockroach: [building an atomic bomb out of Legos] Oh, Susan. You wouldn't happen to have some uranium on you? I just need a smidge.

General W.R. Monger: [on walkie-talkie] Rescind Dr. Cockroach's toybox privileges immediately.

General W.R. Monger: The prison psychologist has redecorated your cell to make it more comfortable.

[The cell is empty, except for a small "Hang in there" poster featuring a kitten in a tree]

Susan: [starting to cry] But I don't want a poster. I want a real kitten, hanging from a real tree.

[Dr. Cockroach has been trying to restore Susan to normal]

Missing Link: You've been letting this crack experiment on you for the last month.

Dr. Cockroach: I'm not a crack, I'm a mad scientist! There is a difference.

Cuthbert: Don't rush me, Katie; I'm just not ready.

Katie: Oh, come on, Cuthbert, it's just like dancing - I'll lead.

[President Hathaway goes to push a huge red button; all the advisors shout for him not to]

Advisor Cole: That button launches all of our nuclear missiles!

President Hathaway: Well, then which button gets me a latte?!

Advisor Wedgie: Err, that would be the other one, sir.

[The camera zips back to show an identical button next to the first one; the President pushes it and serves himself a cup of coffee]

President Hathaway: What idiot designed this thing?

Advisor Wedgie: You did, sir.

President Hathaway: Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!

Wilson: Right away, sir.

[General Monger explains his private operation to the government, showing images and video clips along the way]

General W.R. Monger: Over the last fifty years, I have captured monsters on the rampage and locked them up in a secret prison facility. So secret, that the mere mention of its name is a federal offense!

Advisor: Is he referring to Area 50 - [He gets shot in the neck with a dart and falls over]

General W.R. Monger: Mr. President, say hello to Insectosaurus!

[A woman screams]

General W.R. Monger: Miss Ronson, please... Nuclear radiation turned him from a small grub into a 350-foot tall monster that attacked Tokyo. Here we have the Missing Link...

[Ronson screams again]

General W.R. Monger: [annoyed] ...a 20,000 year old frozen fish-man who was thawed out by scientists. He escaped and went on a rampage at his old watering hole. This handsome fellow is Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D, the most brilliant man in the world. He invented a scientific machine that would give humans the cockroach's ability to survive. Unfortunately, there was a side-effect.

[Ronson screams again]

General W.R. Monger: Now, we call this thing B.O.B....

[Ronson screams again]

General W.R. Monger: [loses patience] WILL SOMEONE GET HER OUT OF HERE?!

[Off-camera sound of Ronson being taken away]

General W.R. Monger: Thank you! A genetically-altered tomato was combined with a chemically altered ranch-flavored dessert topping at a snack food plant. The resulting goop gained consciousness, and became an indestructible gelatinous mass. And our latest edition, Ginormica...

[Another scream the same as Ronson's is heard, and it turns out to be the President's]

President Hathaway: [composing himself] General, continue.

General W.R. Monger: Her entire body radiates with pure energy, giving her enormous strength and size.

[Susan fights Gallaxhar's robot]

B.O.B.: You're doing great!

Susan: [extremely annoyed] I'M DOING EVERYTHING!!!

Susan: Why did I think life with Derek would be so great anyway?! I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him. Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him! And that was amazing! Meeting you guys... [gets down on her knees so she can be face-to-face with the other monsters] amazing. [turns to Dr. Cockroach] Dr. Cockroach! You can crawl up walls and build a super-computer out of a pizza box, two cans of hairspray, and-!

Dr. Cockroach: And a paper clip!

Susan: Amazing! [turns to Missing Link] And you! You hardly need an introduction; you're the Missing Link! You personally carried 250 co-eds off Coaco Beach and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard!

Missing Link: [proudly] And the Coast Guard! And also the lifeguard.

Susan: Amazing! [B.O.B. falls next to the other monsters.] B.O.B.! [turns him around so he's facing her] Who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?

B.O.B.: [points to Missing Link] Link?

Susan: [correcting him] You.

B.O.B.: Amazing!

[Insectosaurus roars]

Missing Link: Good point, Insecto'! [to Susan] Susan, don't shortchange yourself.

Susan: Oh, I'm not gonna shortchange myself. [stands at full height again] Ever again.

Gallaxhar: This must be very strange for you. Waking up in a strange place, wearing strange clothes, being held captive by a strange being on a strange hovering device? Strange, isn't it?

Susan: Actually, it's not the first time.

Gallaxhar: [deflated] Wow, you really get around. TO THE EXTRACTION CHAMBER!

[The machine imprisoning Susan begins to follow Gallaxhar through the ship]

Susan: Look, what is it you want?

Gallaxhar: You have stolen what is rightfully mine!

Susan: I didn't steal anything from you!

Gallaxhar: Your enormous, grotesque body contains quantonium, the most powerful substance in the universe. Did you really think you could keep it from me?

Susan: ...That's what this is all about?! You destroyed San Francisco, you terrified millions of people, you killed my friend, just to get to me?!

Gallaxhar: "Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" Silence! Your voice is grating on my earknubs!

Gallaxhar: [after extracting the quantonium from Susan, shrinking her back to human-size] Now I can finally rebuild my civilization on another planet! Any ideas on where I could set up shop? Your planet, perhaps?

Susan: You keep your tentacles off my planet--! [she tries to attack him, but he holds her back at tentacle-length]

Gallaxhar: You should have stopped me while you had the quantonium.

Susan: There are innocent people down there who haven't done anything!

Gallaxhar: There were innocent people on my home planet, before it was destroyed!

Susan: Look, I'm sorry your planet was destroyed—-

Gallaxhar: Oh, don't be. I'm the one who destroyed it... Confused?

[Gallaxar addresses his many clones]

Gallaxar: Clone!

All clones: Hail Gallaxar!

Gallaxar: No, no, no, not all of you, you there! [The clones look confused] Erm, how do I do this? Three back! [The clones move around confused] No, no, no, no, that guy... Next to you... The one I'm pointing at! YOU! THE ONE! "Wha-ka-ka-ka-ka!" You! Clone, yes! Good! [One steps forward] Take the prisoner to the incinerator! She's useless to us now.

Clone: Hail Gallaxar!

Gallaxar: Hail me...

Susan: Now open the doors!

Gallaxhar: Even if I wanted to, I couldn't! That's what happens when you set a ship to self-destruct! Now we're all gonna die! And there's nothing you can do about it, Susan.

Susan: I wouldn't be so sure. And the name.. is Ginormica!

[She fires the weapon she is carrying into the statue, so that the quantonium-filled globe it holds falls on her]

[Thinking they are about to die (B.O.B., as usual, is blissfully unaware)]

Missing Link: It's been an honour knowing you, Doc.

Dr. Cockroach: The feeling's mutual, my friend.

B.O.B.: I'll see you guys tomorrow, for lunch!

Missing Link: That's right, B.O.B.

Dr. Cockroach: There will be candy, and cake.. balloons.

B.O.B.: Cake and balloons for lunch? It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!