Royal Rumble: Wikis


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The Royal Rumble logo as of 2010.

The Royal Rumble is a professional wrestling pay-per-view (PPV) event, produced every January by professional wrestling promotion World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).[1] The event was created in 1988 with the inaugural event held on January 24, 1988 at the Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, Ontario. The event however was not a pay-per-view but was originally shown as a television special on USA Network. The following year's event was the first Royal Rumble pay-per-view event. The first Royal Rumble match was won by Jim Duggan. The event's main feature is a Battle Royal-type match,[2] entitled the Royal Rumble. The pay-per-view was a part of WWE's "Big Four", along with WrestleMania, SummerSlam, and Survivor Series.[3] The Royal Rumble has been classified as being one of WWE's most popular pay-per-view events.[4]




The match is based on the classical Battle Royal match, in which a number of wrestlers, usually twenty or thirty, aim at eliminating their competitors by placing them over the top rope, with both feet touching the floor.[1][2][5] The winner of the event is the last wrestler remaining after all others have been eliminated.[1][4]

The Royal Rumble differs from the classical Battle Royal as the thirty contestants do not enter the ring at the same time but instead are assigned entry numbers (by a kayfabe lottery). This usually takes place before the Rumble begins.[1] The match begins with the two wrestlers who have drawn entry numbers one and two, with the remaining 28 wrestlers entering the ring at regular timed intervals, either ninety seconds or two minutes, according to their entry number.[1] These peculiarities are credited to Pat Patterson.[6]

Steve Austin holds the current record for most Royal Rumble match wins; with three.[7]

The match has no stipulations or rules other than that elimination must occur by a participant being placed over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. A wrestler who exits the ring without going over the top rope is not eliminated from the contest. During the 1999 Rumble match, both Vince McMahon and Steve Austin left the ring, only to return later in the match.[8] Elimation is also valid if brought about by an external force (such as a non-participant or a previously eliminated participant). For instance, in 2006, Shawn Michaels was exited from the match by Shane McMahon, who was never admitted in the match and simply was interfering to eliminate Michaels. In the 1994 match, the last two participants Bret Hart and Lex Luger were declared co-winners when it was decided that both of their feet touched the floor at exactly the same time.[9] A similar situation occurred in the 2005 match, however the match was restarted after Batista and John Cena eliminated each other at the same time. Batista eliminated Cena afterwards to win the match.[10] Though various referees are charged with observing the match, some eliminations have remained unnoticed with the eliminated participant sneaking back into the ring to continue. For example, Stone Cold Steve Austin was eliminated this way during the 1997 event but re-entered and eventually won the match.[11]

The reward for the 1992 Royal Rumble was the WWF Championship.[12] The tradition of granting a WWE Championship match at WrestleMania started in 1993.[13] Despite being introduced in late 2002, it was not until 2004 that a winner had the choice of fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship instead of the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.[13] Due to the revival of the ECW World Championship in mid-2006, the 2007 event added this championship as a choice to the winning stipulation.[14] From 2001 to 2007, the Royal Rumble match winner had gone on to win a World Championship title at WrestleMania.[7] After winning the 2008 match, John Cena became the first superstar to use his championship opportunity at an event (No Way Out 2008) other than WrestleMania.[15] He also became the first man since 2000 to win the Royal Rumble match but fail to win the title in his championship opportunity as a result.


The Royal Rumble is a pay-per-view consisting of the Royal Rumble match, championship matches, and various other matches. The first Royal Rumble took place on January 24, 1988 and was broadcast live on the USA Network.[16] The following year, the event was rebranded as a pay-per-view.[17] It is part of WWE's "classic four" pay-per-views, along with WrestleMania, Survivor Series, and SummerSlam.[18]

The Royal Rumble match is usually located at the top of the card, though there have been exceptions such as the 1997 and 2006 event's.[19]

The first Rumble match featured only twenty men,[20] and it was called the Rumble Royale.[16] It lasted approximately thirty-three minutes of the two-hour broadcast.[7] The modern Rumble matches are much longer, with the longest match, at the 2002 event, lasting over one hour and nine minutes of an approximately three-hour pay-per-view.[7]

With the brand extension introduced in mid-2002, the 30 entrants from 2003 to 2006 consisted of 15 wrestlers from both the Raw and SmackDown! brands. At first, the winner of the match received a shot at their brand's champion.[21] Starting in 2004, the Rumble winner had the option of challenging either brand's champion.[13] For instance, Chris Benoit switched brands in 2004 and won the World Heavyweight Championship.[13] From 2007-2010, participants from the now defunct ECW brand competed along with the RAW and SmackDown! brands (the entries for each brand were no longer evenly divided, however).[22] The winner of the Royal Rumble during that time had the option to challenge for the ECW Championship as well.[14]

The 2008 Royal Rumble was the first WWE pay-per-view to be available in high-definition.[23]

Dates, venues, & winners

Event Date City Venue Winner Entry #
Royal Rumble (1988) January 24, 1988 Hamilton, Ontario Copps Coliseum Jim Duggan[24][25] 13
Royal Rumble (1989) January 15, 1989 Houston, Texas The Summit Big John Studd[26][27] 27
Royal Rumble (1990) January 21, 1990 Orlando, Florida Orlando Arena Hulk Hogan[28][29] 25
Royal Rumble (1991) January 19, 1991 Miami, Florida Miami Arena Hulk Hogan[30][31] 24
Royal Rumble (1992) January 19, 1992 Albany, New York Knickerbocker Arena Ric Flair[32][33] 3
Royal Rumble (1993) January 24, 1993 Sacramento, California ARCO Arena Yokozuna[34][35] 27
Royal Rumble (1994) January 22, 1994 Providence, Rhode Island Providence Civic Center Bret Hart
Lex Luger[36][37]
Royal Rumble (1995) January 22, 1995 Tampa, Florida USF Sun Dome Shawn Michaels[38][39] 1
Royal Rumble (1996) January 21, 1996 Fresno, California Selland Arena Shawn Michaels[40][41] 18
Royal Rumble (1997) January 19, 1997 San Antonio, Texas Alamodome Steve Austin[42][43] 5
Royal Rumble (1998) January 18, 1998 San Jose, California San Jose Arena Steve Austin[44][45][46] 24
Royal Rumble (1999) January 24, 1999 Anaheim, California Arrowhead Pond Vince McMahon[47][48][49] 2
Royal Rumble (2000) January 23, 2000 New York, New York Madison Square Garden The Rock[50][51][52] 24
Royal Rumble (2001) January 21, 2001 New Orleans, Louisiana New Orleans Arena Steve Austin[53][54][55] 27
Royal Rumble (2002) January 20, 2002 Atlanta, Georgia Philips Arena Triple H[56][57][58] 22
Royal Rumble (2003) January 19, 2003 Boston, Massachusetts Fleet Center Brock Lesnar[59][60] 29
Royal Rumble (2004) January 25, 2004 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Wachovia Center Chris Benoit[61][62][63] 1
Royal Rumble (2005) January 30, 2005 Fresno, California Save Mart Center Batista[64][65][66] 28
Royal Rumble (2006) January 29, 2006 Miami, Florida American Airlines Arena Rey Mysterio[67][68][69] 2
Royal Rumble (2007) January 28, 2007 San Antonio, Texas AT&T Center The Undertaker[70][71][72] 30
Royal Rumble (2008) January 27, 2008 New York, New York Madison Square Garden John Cena[73][74][75] 30
Royal Rumble (2009) January 25, 2009 Detroit, Michigan Joe Louis Arena Randy Orton[76][77] 8
Royal Rumble (2010) January 31, 2010 Atlanta, Georgia Philips Arena Edge[78][79] 29

Royal Rumble Records

Most Rumble Victories

  • Steve Austin - 3[80]

Longest Time Spent In A Single Royal Rumble
Only wrestlers that have lasted at least one hour are listed. As of the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Wrestler Time Year
Rey Mysterio 1:02:12 2006[80]
Chris Benoit 1:01:30 2004[80]
Bob Backlund 1:01:10 1993[80]
Triple H 1:00:09 2006

Shortest Time Spent In A Single Royal Rumble
Only wrestlers that have lasted under 5 seconds are listed. As of the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Wrestler Time Year
Santino Marella 0:00:01 2009[80]
The Warlord 0:00:02 1989[80]
Mo 0:00:03 1995[80]
Owen Hart 0:00:03 1995[80]
Luke Williams 0:00:04 1991
Jerry Lawler 0:00:04 1997

Most Eliminations In A Single Royal Rumble
Only wrestlers that have eliminated 10 or more competitors are listed. As of the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Wrestler # of Eliminations Year
Kane 11 2001[80][81]
Steve Austin 10 1997[80][82]

Total Eliminations In Cumulative Royal Rumbles
Only wrestlers that have eliminated 10 or more competitors are listed. As of the 2010 Royal Rumble.[83]

Wrestler # of Eliminations Rumbles Entered
Shawn Michaels 37 12[80][84]
Steve Austin 36 6[80]
Kane[1] 35 14
Undertaker 34 11
Triple H 26 8
Hulk Hogan 25 4
Edge 17 6
Big Show 16 7
Chris Benoit 14 4
Randy Orton 14 5
Davey Boy Smith 13 6
Batista 12 4
Diesel 12 2
Rikishi[2] 12 10
Chris Jericho 11 6
John Cena 11 5
Booker T 10 6
Lex Luger 10 2
Rey Mysterio 10 5
Ted DiBiase Sr. 10 4
Yokozuna 10 2

^ Totals include Kane's previous personas as Issac Yankem and the new Diesel.
^ Totals include Rikishi's previous personas as Fatu and the Sultan.

Video box set

WWE released a complete DVD box set entitled Royal Rumble: The Complete Anthology, which showcases every Royal Rumble event in its entirety, up to the 2007 Royal Rumble, on March 13, 2007.[85]

See also




  1. ^ a b c d e "Specialty Matches: Royal Rumble". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-03. 
  2. ^ a b Waldman, Jon (2005-02-02). "Statistical survival - breaking down the Royal Rumble". SLAM! Wrestling. Retrieved 2007-12-09. 
  3. ^ Ian Hamilton. Wrestling's Sinking Ship: What Happens to an Industry Without Competition (p.160)
  4. ^ a b Dale Plummer and Nick Tylwalk (2006-01-30). "Mysterio claims Rumble; Cena reigns again". SLAM! Wrestling. Retrieved 2007-12-09. 
  5. ^ "Specialty Matches: Battle Royal". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-03. 
  6. ^ "Hall of Fame: Pat Patterson". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-03. 
  7. ^ a b c d "Royal Rumble: Facts & Figures". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-30. 
  8. ^ "Royal Rumble 1999: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-30. 
  9. ^ "Royal Rumble 1994: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  10. ^ "Royal Rumble 1995: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  11. ^ "Royal Rumble 1997: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-03. "Stone Cold was actually eliminated during the match, but the referees failed to detect it, so he sneaked back in." 
  12. ^ "Royal Rumble 1992: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  13. ^ a b c d Cohen, Eric (2007-04-25). "The Fate of the Royal Rumble Winner". Retrieved 2007-12-09. 
  14. ^ a b Hoffman, Brett (2007-02-05). "Tickets punched for WrestleMania". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  15. ^ "Randy Orton vs. John Cena (WWE Championship match): A battle for redemption with 'Mania implications". WWE. 2008-01-28. Retrieved 2008-01-28. 
  16. ^ a b Ric Flair. Ric Flair: To Be the Man (p.161)
  17. ^ "Royal Rumble results". Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  18. ^ Brian Shields. Main Event: WWE in the Raging 80s (p.166)
  19. ^ Dale Plummer and Nick Tylwalk (2007-01-29). "Old guard dominates Rumble". SLAM! Wrestling. Retrieved 2007-12-09. 
  20. ^ "Royal Rumble 1988: Main Event". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-03. 
  21. ^ Powell, John (2004-01-26). "Benoit wins the 'Rumble'". SLAM! Wrestling. Retrieved 2007-12-23. 
  22. ^ Louie Dee (2007-01-28). "A Phenom-enal Rumble". WWE. Retrieved 2007-12-05. 
  23. ^ Clayton, Cory. "How do I get WWE HD on my HDTV". WWE. Retrieved 2008-01-20. 
  24. ^ "Royal Rumble 1988 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  25. ^ "Royal Rumble 1988 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  26. ^ "Royal Rumble 1989 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  27. ^ "Royal Rumble 1989 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  28. ^ "Royal Rumble 1990 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  29. ^ "Royal Rumble 1990 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  30. ^ "Royal Rumble 1991 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  31. ^ "Royal Rumble 1991 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  32. ^ "Royal Rumble 1992 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  33. ^ "Royal Rumble 1992 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  34. ^ "Royal Rumble 1993 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  35. ^ "Royal Rumble 1993 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  36. ^ "Royal Rumble 1994 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  37. ^ "Royal Rumble 1994 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  38. ^ "Royal Rumble 1995 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  39. ^ "Royal Rumble 1995 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  40. ^ "Royal Rumble 1996 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  41. ^ "Royal Rumble 1996 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  42. ^ "Royal Rumble 1997 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  43. ^ "Royal Rumble 1997 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  44. ^ "Royal Rumble 1998 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  45. ^ "Royal Rumble 1998 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  46. ^ Powell, John (1998-01-19). "Austin wins predictable Rumble". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  47. ^ "Royal Rumble 1999 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  48. ^ "Royal Rumble 1999 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  49. ^ Gramlich, Chris (1998-01-25). "McMahon wins Rumble, Rock champ again". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  50. ^ "Royal Rumble 2000 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  51. ^ "Royal Rumble 2000 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  52. ^ Powell, John (1998-01-24). "Rocky wins the Rumble, A bloody Triple H defeats Cactus Jack". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  53. ^ "Royal Rumble 2001 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  54. ^ "Royal Rumble 2001 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  55. ^ Powell, John (1998-01-22). "Surprises dominate Rumble 2001". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  56. ^ "Royal Rumble 2002 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  57. ^ "Royal Rumble 2002 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  58. ^ Powell, John (1998-01-21). "Rumble 2002 stumbles, Triple H wins WrestleMania spot". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  59. ^ "Royal Rumble 2003 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  60. ^ "Royal Rumble 2003 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  61. ^ "Royal Rumble 2004 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  62. ^ "Royal Rumble 2004 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  63. ^ Powell, John (1998-01-26). "Benoit wins the 'Rumble'". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  64. ^ "Royal Rumble 2005 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  65. ^ "Royal Rumble 2005 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2009-07-08. 
  66. ^ Plummer, Dale (1998-01-31). "Batista claims the Rumble". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  67. ^ "Royal Rumble 2006 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  68. ^ "Royal Rumble 2006 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  69. ^ Plummer, Dale (1998-01-30). "Mysterio claims Rumble; Cena reigns again". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  70. ^ "Royal Rumble 2007 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  71. ^ "Royal Rumble 2007 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  72. ^ Plummer, Dale (1998-01-28). "Old guard dominates Rumble". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  73. ^ "Royal Rumble 2008 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  74. ^ "Royal Rumble 2008 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  75. ^ Plummer, Dale (1998-01-28). "Cena wins Rumble in surprise return". SLAM! Sports. Retrieved 2009-07-10. 
  76. ^ "Royal Rumble 2009 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  77. ^ "Royal Rumble 2009 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  78. ^ "Royal Rumble 2010 Results". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  79. ^ "Royal Rumble 2010 Main Event Synopsis". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2010-02-01. 
  80. ^ a b c d e f g h i j k l "Royal Rumble Statistics and Facts". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 20010-02-04. 
  81. ^ "Royal Rumble 2001". World Wrestling Entertainment. http:// Retrieved 20010-02-10. 
  82. ^ "Royal Rumble 1997". World Wrestling Entertainment. http:// Retrieved 20010-02-10. 
  83. ^ "Royal Rumble Combined Stats". Retrieved 20010-02-10. 
  84. ^ "Royal Rumble 2010". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 20010-02-10. 
  85. ^ "Royal Rumble: The Complete Anthology Box Set". WWE. Retrieved 2007-01-18. 

Further reading

  • Harley Race and Gerry Tritz (2004). King of the Ring: The Harley Race Story. Sports Publishing. ISBN 1582618186. 
  • Davies, Ross (2002). Kevin Nash. The Rosen Publishing Group. ISBN 0823934926. 
  • Meltzer, Dave (2004). Tributes II: Remembering More of the World's Greatest Professional Wrestlers. Sports Publishing LLC. ISBN 1582618178. 
  • Brian Fritz and Christopher Murray (2006). Between the Ropes: Wrestling's Greatest Triumphs and Failures. ECW Press. ISBN 1550227262. 
  • Steve Austin and Jim Ross (2003). The Stone Cold Truth. Simon and Schuster. ISBN 0743477200. 
  • Scott Keith (2004). Wrestling's One Ring Circus: The Death of the World Wrestling Federation. Citadel Press. ISBN 080652619X. 

External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

The Royal Rumble is the first WWE Pay per view held of each year since 1989. The attraction of each royal rumble is a battle royal where 30 men come into the ring one at a time every two minutes. The last man standing in the ring after all 30 have entered is the winner. The first Royal Rumble was held on January 24th 1988 and aired on USA Network. Each Rumble thereafter has been on PPV.



Jesse: You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.
Vince: Who?
Jesse: You know who.

Jesse: [on Hacksaw Jim Duggan] What's he gonna come in and beat everybody with a 2x4?

Jesse: With the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.


[During the Royal Rumble drawing]
Ted Dibiase: It's time for the Million Dollar Man to pick the Million Dollar number. (Draws his number out of the cage.) And the winning number is... (Virgil opens up the number and reveals it to Dibiase.) Wait a minute...(brings in Slick) Uh, Slick, Slick. When you drew numbers for your men, how did it go?
Slick: (laughs) Brother! It was unbelievable!
Ted Dibiase: We should talk.

Jesse: Look at how the Boss Man is manhandling Hogan.
Gorilla: Yeah but he just got in the ring. The Hulkster's been in the ring for a half hour.
Jesse: No he wasn't! He was in there five minutes ago!

Gorilla: Hulk still creating mayhem for the Big Bossman.
Jesse: Now, that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated!
Gorilla: Yes, he is, Jesse. So what?
Jesse: "So what"? If they'd have done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate!

Jesse: And this is what Hulkamania is all about. Going out there and flagarantly cheating. Not leaving the ring when you're eliminated. Causing someone else to be eliminated when you have no business out there.
Gorilla: Are you condoning what the Big Bossman did; what he and the Slickster did to the Hulkster?
Jesse: That was weeks ago. I'm talking here and now, Monsoon.
Gorilla: Sorry, you only go back a couple of minutes ago, or what happened yesterday.
Jesse: Hey, yesterday's gone. It's today that counts.

Gorilla: (seeing Virgil outside the ring after Dibiase has entered.) Hey, he's not supposed to be out there!
Jesse: Well who knows, Virgil could be number 31.


Jesse: Not even Mickey and Goofy could get in here and I made sure of that. They didn't have tickets. Do you have a ticket Schiavone?
Tony: No I don't.
Jesse: Then what are you doing here?
Tony: I just wanted to sit beside you if that's okay.

Mean Gene: Last year, allegedly, Ted DiBiase, you drew #30, which would be advantageous...
DiBiase: "Allegedly"? Allegedly? No. Last year, little man, I drew #30!
Mean Gene: Well some suspected there might've been a little chicanery, but certainly that wouldn't happen this year, with all the added security of World Wrestling Federation president Jack Tunney, you're not gonna be buying...
DiBiase: Security? You call that security? I call it downright gestapolism (sp?). I didn't even have the opportunity to draw my own number!
Mean Gene: Wait a minute, Ted DiBiase, you asked Virgil to draw the number for you.
DiBiase: I didn't ask Virgil to draw the number!
Mean Gene: Well, of course you did!
DiBiase: Virgil, did I ask you to draw the number! No! Shut up, don't say anything! You made a mistake, I...I can't believe this!
Mean Gene: Wait a minute, what number did you draw?
DiBiase: None of your business what number I...
Mean Gene: We're gonna find out sooner or later, where's the number? (DiBiase hands him the number) Oh, you couldn't have gotten a worse draw. This is #1—the worst number of the lot!
DiBiase: Let me tell you something, little man. It doesn't matter whether #1, #2, or #30. What it means is I'll be the first man in the ring, I'll be the last man in the ring, and it's a golden opportunity for me to show all you 9-to-5 nickel-and-dimers out there that I'm the greatest wrestling talent in the world. I'll be there to the end, and I'll win it!

Jesse: I remember not too long ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, the Genius upset the champion Hulk Hogan!
Tony: He did?
Jesse: Yeah. Schiavone, who won the match?
Tony: Yeah but Perfect was on the outside with the belt. We all know what happened.
Jesse: No yeah buts! Who won the match?
Tony: The Genius.

Mr. Perfect: Hair grows back, but, Beefcake, your ribs, they may not grow back the right way.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts: It never ceases to amaze me, what the human mind can come up with. I mean, you think of the whole concept. The Royal Rumble, this afternoon you're gonna take thirty men, and every two minutes you're gonna send somebody to that ring—a fresh man. So you're thinking to yourself, well what number might be the best? Well, the last number would be the best, but that doesn't really mean anything, cause there's still gonna be a lot of hungry men out there, and hopefully I'll be one of those hungry men. The man that wins this match is not gonna be the man that's the best wrestler, the best athlete; it's gonna be the man that will do anything, the man that will...take that extra step, do just a little bit more than anybody else, maybe sacrifice a little bit more than anybody else. Now, me—that sounds just a lot like me.


Mean Gene: Sensational Queen Sherri, what are you doing out here tonight?
Sherri: I am here to make a public challenge, Mean Gene.
Mean Gene: To whom?
Sherri: To the Ultimate Warrior, who else? Now, Sgt. Slaughter has promised the Macho King Randy Savage that, should he win the WWF Championship tonight, he has promised the Macho King that he will — that he will grant him a championship match. Now, being the honorable and brave man that we all know Sgt. Slaughter is...
Gorilla: Please!
Sherri: ...there is no doubt in my mind and in my heart that Sgt. Slaughter will do nothing more than grant and come through with every promise that he has acknowledged toward the Kingdom of the Madness. I only hope that the Ultimate Warrior is as honorable as everyone seems to think that he is. However, I have my doubts. Ultimate Warrior, if you can hear me right now, which I think you can, if you are as brave and as honorable as everyone says you are, why don't you come right out here in front of everyone and accept my challenge. I kind of think he's yellow myself. I don't think you're brave, I don't think that you're even honorable. As a matter of fact, I think that you're yellow from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. Well, where you at, Warrior? Why don't you come out here? I can tell you things about your precious Ultimate Warrior...
(The music hits and the Ultimate Warrior walks to the stage)
Gorilla: Uh-oh!
Piper: Look out! You asked for it, you got it!
Mean Gene: What about it?
Sherri: Yeah, what about it, Warrior? You're so honorable, you're such a wonderful champion, are you willing to grant the Macho King — should you win your WWF Title tonight, should you retain — will you give the Macho King Randy Savage a title shot? No answer? You know, I've admired you for a long time, Warrior. I've looked into those great big beautiful hazel eyes. As a matter of act, I've also looked at those lips and wondered what it would be like...and also, I've always looked at your chest...(slowly unzips the Warrior's jacket)...and wondered what it would be like to touch your chest. As a matter of fact, I've often admired you from afar, Warrior. (Slides the jacket off) This strong, long, wide back; and your hair, it's very wonderful, I've wondered what it would be like to see the wind blowing through your hair. So what's it gonna be, Warrior? Are you honorable, are you brave, are you gonna give the Macho King a title match if you retain that belt tonight? Come on, Warrior, can't you talk to me? Come on, what's it gonna be? Come on, Warrior, can't you say something to me? (Leans in and quickly kisses him, to which he smiles) Oh, that's the most wonderful thing, the most thrilling thing that has ever happened to me. Please, as I look into your wonderful face and I know the champion that you are, and honorable man that you are, (sinks to her knees) I know that you would grant the Macho King his title shot. Come on, Warrior, aren't you gonna grant the Macho King a title match? Come on, Warrior, tell everyone what an honorable man that you are, what a brave and wonderful champion that you are, Warrior. What is it to you? Come on, aren't you gonna give the Macho King a title match? Just say yes to me, that's all I want from you. That is all I want from you, Warrior.
(Warrior pauses, then spits on the stage)
Warrior: (before walking away) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Savage: (having been watching the whole interview from the dressing room, now in a rage) You said no! You said no! I'm gonna get him now! (He runs out, through the audience, onto the stage, where Sherri is irate)
Gorilla: He said "no" emphatically, and look at the Macho King. Is he bent out of shape.
Piper: Can you blame him? It's like being kissed by a viper.
Gorilla: Sort of backfired for them, Rod.
Piper: Medusa's got nothing on this gal!

Gorilla: I wanna make this clear right now that the views of Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan do not in any way reflect the views of the World Wrestling Federation, or the Arab-Americans, or the overwhelming majority of Arabs throughout the world, for that matter.
Piper: Well, I understand that, Gorilla, but I wanna make a point. This is America, and as much as I hate his guts, you can do what you want to in America, and Slaughter is free to do. That's why our men and women are over there now. They are fighting for the right to be free! If I don't like it, I'll get in the ring and I'll do something about it, but this is America, and that's why we're all here! God bless America!

[Sgt. Slaughter has just pinned the Ultimate Warrior, after Savage hit the Warrior with a scepter. The crowd yells "bullshit!"]
Gorilla: I think the referee, in this excitement, Hot Rod, just automatically went down and made the three-count. I think we have a disqualification here.
Piper: I hope so. Excitement, hell! He ought to be keeping his eyes on what's going on!
Gorilla: We haven't had any official word yet.
Piper: [as Warrior runs out of the arena] Where's he going?
Gorilla: I think he's going after the Macho King.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here's is the official decision. The winner of this bout...and NEW...
Gorilla and Piper: NO! NO!
Howard: [cont'd] World Wrestling Federation Champion: Sgt. Slaughter!
Piper: Bull! Bull!
Gorilla: What a miscarriage of justice! I can't believe it!
Piper: That's bull! You're not gonna let this hang like this! I can't believe this! You puke! It took three of you!
Gorilla: I don't believe it! This is ridiculous! This is an outrage!
Slaughter: [walking down the aisle] I told you!
Piper: You told us what?! You can't do nothing by yourself!
Gorilla: He'd better cut that thing in half, Hot Rod, and give half of it to the Macho King!

DiBiase: [after Virgil drops the Million Dollar Belt in front of him] What do you think you're doing? You get down there, and pick that thing up right now, and you wrap it around my waist. Need I tell you, need I remind you one more time about your family? About your mother?
Gorilla: Give me a break.
Piper: Virgil, remember it just don't matter.
DiBiase: Pick it up!
Piper: Remember, Virgil, there comes a point...
DiBiase: Wrap it around my waist!
Piper: What, are you gonna eat it for the rest of your life?!
Gorilla: How humiliating.
[Virgil drops to one knee and picks up the belt]
DiBiase: That's right. That's right. Like I always say: everybody's got a price.
[Virgil then wallops DiBiase with the belt]
Piper: YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!
Gorilla: Listen to this capacity crowd, they love it!

Piper: We don't wanna forget, being that it's a rumble, it'd be okay for Fuji to deck Blubber Love.
Gorilla: Oh, I'd like to see that.

Piper: I'm still expecting #18 to show up. He's not officially out of here until the clock starts for the next participant.
Gorilla: Yeah, but we don't know who #18 was.
Piper: I know, but he's still got a chance to come out...maybe, I don't know, but until that clock starts again, #18 is still legal. I'm not sure...
Gorilla: [as the 10-second clock appears] I believe that is a first in the history of the Royal Rumble that the time limit ran down and nobody came through the curtain.
Piper: Too late now, 18's outta there.
[#19 is Animal]
Piper: WHOOAAA!!
Gorilla: It's Animal from the Legion of Doom. Well, whoever, Hot Rod, #18 was, he has forfeited his position here in the lineup, so there's no way, shape or form that he can re-enter and be victorious.
Piper: He is history, baby. If you don't got the guts, you don't belong in the building.
[Much later]
Gorilla: Uh-oh, we're gonna find out right now, Hot Rod, who #18 was—here comes the last entry. It's Tugboat.
Piper: Wait a sec.
Gorilla: That means that the Macho King was #18.
Piper: The Macho King wasn't hurt.
Gorilla: He was one of the odds-on favorites to win this thing.
Piper: I can't figure it.
Gorilla: It could be the Ultimate Warrior ran him right out of the building!
Piper: It could be! It could be. That's the only thing I can think of.

Piper: How long has it been for Valentine?
Gorilla: Well, the Hammer has been in well over a half an hour.
Piper: What tenacity! The Model, too.
Gorilla: But you know, with Valentine, it takes fifteen minutes just to get his attention, and then he starts to get warmed up. The more you beat on him, the more he likes it.


Bobby: Look at the New Foundation, they must've just got up.
Gorilla: What do you mean they just got up?
Bobby: They still got their pajamas on.
Gorilla: I'm going to tell them you said that.
Bobby: I don't care.

Bobby: Since Ric Flair is the real world's champion, he shouldn't even be in the rumble. He should face the winner. That would be fair. If you want to be fair to Flair,
Gorilla: Don't start with that fair to Flair to me!

Lord Alfred Hayes: Tell me, Mr. Flair, how did you fare in the Royal Rumble drawing?
Ric Flair: Lord Alfred, I drew #3. To a lot of people out there, they'd say, "my god, what a disadvantage you're going at." But look at it like this. When your name is Ric Flair, when you're the claimant to the real World Heavyweight Championship, you know that, to make everybody a believer, that I've gotta beat 29 other men; so I'll get #3, that means I'll be in there close to an hour. It makes no difference—when I walk out, I will be the World Wrestling Federation Champion, against all odds and that's the bottom line.

Gorilla: There goes the buzzer
(The third entrant is Ric Flair)
Bobby: NO!
Gorilla: Oh, yes!
Bobby: DAMN IT!

Gorilla: No one ever, in the history of the Royal Rumble, has drawn numbers 1-5, and been there at the end.
Bobby: OH, SHUT UP! Take your time, Champ. Pace yourself! I'm gonna have to apologize to the people; I don't think I can be really be objective.
Gorilla: When have you ever been objective?!

Bobby: Flair, let Sags do all the work. Go over to the corner and rest, you only have two minutes...
Gorilla: You're supposed to be a broadcast journalist — be objective here.
Bobby: I told you to shut up! Leave me alone.

Bobby: Back off, Ric. Let Haku do the dir... the kicking. (Haku attacks Flair) See! What the heck are you doing, Haku? Have you gone nuts?
Gorilla: Just to show you it's every man for himself.
Bobby: This isn't fair to Flair!

Bobby: Where's Perfect?
Gorilla: They're not allowed at ringside, Brain. You know that.
Bobby: He's not a manager, he's an executive consultant.
Gorilla: Same thing — a pest.

Bobby: Shawn Michaels is making guacamole out of El Matador.
Gorilla: He is not.

Bobby: Virgil just came in, he's number 23, right?
Gorilla: That's right!
Bobby: Just think, who knows how many bags he's gone through in the back!
Gorilla: Will you be serious!

(Ric delivers a low blow to British Bulldog)
Gorilla: Did you see that? Talk about desperation.
Bobby: You know what's at stake? A man'll do anything!
Gorilla: Pulling out all the stops, Ric Flair doing whatever necessary to hang in there.
Bobby: I'd do that to my own grandmother if I had to.
Gorilla: I'm sure you would.

(Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT)
Bobby: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
(Not long after, Piper attacks Flair)
Bobby: You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!

Bobby: He's jogging. He's wasting time, he's wasting energy. He's not conserving his energy or his time.
Gorilla: He's not wasting time.
Bobby: I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Gorilla: I know you don't.

(After Randy Savage eliminates Jake the Snake, he leaps over the top rope to continue, seemingly eliminating himself)
Gorilla: That's what happens when your heart takes over your mind.
Bobby: You can't let your loved ones control your pocketbook.
(Undertaker pulls Savage off and throws him back into the ring)
Gorilla: Well, Undertaker threw him back in, but I don't think that's gonna help him.
(Savage breaks free and chases down Jake)
Bobby: Oh, I know what it is, Monsoon! Since...Savage wasn't thrown over the top rope, so that means he can go back in. No one threw him over the rope; I believe that's one of the rules of the Royal Rumble.
Gorilla: I'll have to check that out, I'll take your word for it right now.
Bobby: See, the referee's letting him go back in.
Gorilla: He certainly is — you have to be propelled by someone else.

Bobby: (on Flair's low blow) He just tried to lift the Undertaker.
Gorilla: He did not.

Bobby: (on Virgil) Don't forget, at one time, he had that Million Dollar Championship belt.
Gorilla: He certainly did.
Bobby: Of course, he stole it, but he still had it.
Gorilla: He did not!

Bobby: I'm soaking wet, I need something to drink. Hey, you, stupid, get me something to drink!

Gorilla: He is right now the all-time record holder, in excess of 55 minutes. Congratulations are in order for Ric Flair.
Bobby: Give him the title, that's good enough for me!
Gorilla: No, I'm not giving him the title.

Gorilla: We've only got one entry left. No secret involved here; the guy who drew #30 is gonna be coming out in five seconds. It will be no surprise—it is the Warlord.
Bobby: But you never know.
(The buzzer sounds)
Gorilla: What do you mean, you never know?
Bobby: You never know what Tunney and the WWF'll pull on you!
Gorilla: It could only be one guy.
Bobby: (as the Warlord enters the aisle) I told you—the Warlord. I was right. I knew it, I was right.

Bobby: (after Flair eliminates Sid Justice, winning the Royal Rumble and the title) OH YES! YES! YES YES YES YES...
Gorilla: Flair did it!
Bobby: YES! YES! YES! YES! He did it! I told you, Monsoon! I told you, I told you! YES! YES! YES! [continues over Howard's announcement] YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I told you!
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble and undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion: Ric Flair!
Gorilla: Flair did it, I don't believe it!
Bobby: I knew he'd do it! I knew he'd do it! All you humanoids know... I'm gonna meet him!

Ric Flair: Let me just say, after video-distorting the belt that proclaimed me the REAL world's champion, I'm gonna tell you all, with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life. When you walk this world and you tell everyone you're #1, the only way you get to stay #1, is to be #1, and this is the only title in the wrestling world that makes you #1! When you are the king of the WWF, you rule the world! Think about it like that. Mr. Perfect, the Brain — WOO!!!
Bobby: Let's give a big one...
Bobby, Perfect, and Flair: WOOO!!!
Bobby: I was never so impressed with anything I've ever seen in all my life! He went out there for over sixty minutes, never took a bad step! Took it to Hogan, took it to the Undertaker, took it to whoever got in that ring! That's why he is — and you call him now — the real world's heavyweight champion!
Mr. Perfect: Bobby, we're not the kind of guys to say, "we told you so," but we...
Bobby and Perfect: Told you so!
Mean Gene: Very good. Ric Flair, you have made World — (off-camera) put that cigarette out! — you have made World Wrestling Federation history here tonight.
Ric Flair: It's the greatest moment of my life. I wanna jump, I wanna party, but I gotta tell you like this. For the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Mans, and the Pipers, and the Sids: now it's Ric Flair, and you all pay homage to the man! WOOO!!! I love it!


Bobby: Jerry Lawler, the host of Superstars.
Gorilla: I thought Vince McMahon was the host of Superstars.
Bobby: No he goes to give the king coffee and shine his shoes.

Bobby: Last time I saw Tugboat... Typhoon... Buffoon, whatever he is, run that fast is when they opened up a lunch line at the free buffet.

Bobby: Oh, who's coming out now?
Monsoon: Well, why don't you just wait a minute and find out?!?
Bobby: I'm sorry, I'm excited! So what? (the buzzer sounds) Is that you blowing your nose or is that the horn?

Bobby: Now remember this, when a man sticks his hand out to you, you shake it. Then kick him really hard when he's not looking.

Bobby: How long's he been in there now?
Monsoon: 46 minutes and counting!

Bobby: Fatu is bye-bye!
Monsoon: Who eliminated him, Brain? There's so much going on!
Bobby: I think he threw himself out, I don't know.
Monsoon: Threw himself out? NOBODY WOULD DO THAT!

Bobby: Backlund's been in there so long, when he got in the ring his shoes were up to his knees!

Bobby: (regarding Bob Backlund) This guy's like a spider monkey! He just latches onto things and you can't get him off!

Monsoon: It is deafening here in the arena as we are live at the Royal Rumble!
Bobby: I see your lips moving, but I can't hear you!

Monsoon: I'm sorry!
Bobby: You should be! If you can't do it right, take a hike!
Monsoon: I'm outta here.
Bobby: WAIT WAIT don't go yet, I've gotta ask you another question.

Bobby: How do you think they got the name chop suey?
Monsoon: Not like that!
Bobby: Are you talking to me?
Monsoon: Forget about it. It's so deafening in here, you can barely hear yourself.
Bobby: WHAT?


Undertaker: Be not proud. The spirit of the Undertaker lives within the soul of all mankind. The eternal flame of life that cannot be extinguished, the origin of which cannot be explained, the answer lies in the everlasting spirit. Soon all mankind will witness the rebirth of the Undertaker. I will not rest in peace.

Vince: [regarding Diesel as he walks to the ring] Look at this monster.
DiBiase: That's one big man, McMahon. Almost as big as me.
Vince: Yeah, right.
DiBiase: Hey, I'm standing on my wallet.

Vince: [as Virgil, an alternate entry, attacks Diesel] What a story this would be if Virgil could dump the big man out.
DiBiase: Well, the key word there, McMahon, is "alternate." [As he says this, Diesel eliminates Virgil] Virgil made his mistake long ago when he left me. See what I mean?
Vince: Who is gonna stop this huge monster in the ring?
DiBiase: Next!

DiBiase: Wait a minute, McMahon, who won this thing? I don't think they can make up their minds. First Luger's music plays, then Hart's music...they stopped it again.
Vince: Well the announcer has yet to announce exactly who won the Royal Rumble.
DiBiase: Look, the referees are arguing, they can't make up their mind. I don't think they know.


Vince: Can you believe this? The Heartbreak Kid drew #1! Well, you can bet Shawn Michaels won't be going to WrestleMania as the #1 contender. Michaels fooled everybody on the Action Zone earlier on—Michaels acted like he was proud of his number. It's the luck of the draw, and Shawn Michaels very unlucky here tonight at the Royal Rumble, and Michaels better get all the glory he can right now.
Lawler: Let me just tell you this, McMahon. He loves being the #1 draw because of what he's doing right now. It means just all that much longer he gets to strut his stuff in front of Pamela Anderson. But don't get your hopes up, Shawn. She might accompany him to WrestleMania, but she'll be accompanying me tonight.

Lawler: I went on record as saying Shawn Michaels, but when I saw he drew #1, I thought about changing it.
Vince: To whom? Who would you choose?
Lawler: I'll tell you later.

Lawler: Look at Luke the Bushwhacker—he's heading back already, but he stayed longer than he was in in 1991. He only lasted 4.9 seconds then.
Vince: What, do you have a stopwatch on?
Lawler: Yeah, look at this. See Mickey's hand?

Lawler: Oh no. It's Mo.
Vince: It's Mo from Men on a Mission. [Mo enters the ring charges Bundy and gets backdropped over the top to the floor]
Lawler: WHOO HOO HOO! WHOO HOO HOO! Look at my watch! Mo was on a mission wasn't he? He just broke Luke's record! Ha ha ha ha! What did he last? One second?

Vince: [after the British Bulldog clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, seemingly winning the Rumble] It finally has happened! The British Bulldog will go to WrestleMania and oppose the WWF... [As Bulldog celebrates in the corner, Michaels nails him from behind, sending him over and onto the floor.] Wait just a minute!
Lawler: My prediction is true! They're saying that Shawn Michaels has won the Royal Rumble!
Vince: Michaels was eliminated by the British Bulldog! Let's go to the announcer.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that only one of Shawn Michaels' feet hit the floor.
Vince: What?
Howard: [cont'd] Therefore, the winner of the 1995 WWF Royal Rumble: The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!


Mr. Perfect: [after Goldust reverses a waistlock on Razor Ramon and caresses him, who is instantly freaked out] I can't believe what I just saw.
Vince: That was a little different.
Mr. Perfect: Maybe Goldust got what he wanted out of this match already.
Vince: Oh no, I think this man is cagey, very crafty
Mr. Perfect: Ten-yard penalty for illegal use of the hands.
Mr. Perfect: Is he gonna check him for a hernia next?

[Henry Godwinn has emptied a bucket of slop on everyone outside the ring]
Vince: Hunter Hearst-Helmsley covered in slop, Backlund covered in slop, here comes the King, he got some of it too.
Mr. Perfect: There's no place for that stinking slop! I think I'm at a Gallagher concert!

Mr. Perfect: He's the winner right there, McMahon. I pick him.
Vince: And there's a good look, ladies and gentlemen, at Steve Austin, known as the Ringmaster, on his way. Another Corporate member of Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Corporation, and you can bet he's definitely gonna make a difference.
Mr. Perfect: Look at this guy, McMahon. The Ringmaster—close enough to perfect for me. He gets my vote right now. Look at the shape this guy's in, look at how aggressive he is, look at how good he looks, reminds me of me so much.
Vince: He is cold and calculating for sure.

Mr. Perfect: It's Barry Horriblewitz.
Vince: Call him what you will. Barry Horowitz could very well win this thing—anyone can win.
Mr. Perfect: If a nerd ends up at WrestleMania and gets the World Wrestling Federation Champion, I'm getting back in the ring.

Vince: Almost anyone would do anything to win this year's Royal Rumble matchup.
Mr. Perfect: If Horowitz wins this match, I quit. You'll never see me again.

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, Bret "Hitman" Hart has been disqualified...
Vince: Aw, come on.
Howard: [cont'd] a result of outside interference by Diesel. Therefore, the winner of this match: the Undertaker!
Vince: Diesel coming in, blatantly interfering; the Undertaker wants the WWF Championship around his waist. [On Diesel] Look at that steely cold look on the face.
Howard: However, the World Wrestling Federation Championship can not change hands on a disqualification.
Mr. Perfect: Oh, boy.
Vince: [as Diesel cracks a little smile] And no one knows that better than that man right there.
Mr. Perfect: Yes, that look says it all.
Vince: It does, the Undertaker... [Diesel gives the Undertaker the finger] Wait, look what Diesel just did!
Mr. Perfect: Oh, come on!

Vince: The Undertaker had piledrived Bret Hart!
Mr. Perfect: He had him beat!
Vince: But you'll never know whether or not Bret would've been pinned by the Undertaker.
Mr. Perfect: Of course he'd have been pinned!


Goldust: [to HHH] Come on, you piece of shit!

Lawler: I've been sitting here counting, I'm up to about 54. Why doesn't the referee count Goldust out?
Jim Ross: Why don't you ask these questions to Monsoon? He's in charge of the officials. We can't answer those questions, King.
Vince: Maybe it's because you would want to be assigned as a guest referee on occasion.
Jim Ross: That'd be a good idea.
Lawler: Yeah, you're right. I'd have already disqualified Goldust.
Jim Ross: You'd be the Red Cashion of the WWF
Lawler: What? Who?

Jim Ross: Once again, Stone Cold Steve Austin is picking 'em off one at a time.
Vince: [as Austin, all by himself, does push-ups in the ring] Look at this. Please.
Jim Ross: And he's telling us all he's in great shape. He's in fightin' shape.
Vince: He's in great condition, all right.
Jim Ross: I'm sure he's been in a few barroom brawls.
Vince: [Austin now sits on the top corner] Look at this, patiently awaiting the next individual to come out. You talk about a man with a nasty temperament. [Austin looks at his wrist like a watch] Well, his watch is working as well as ours.

Vince: Oh, no, it's Bret Hart's "stinking rotten" brother, as Bret would say...
Lawler: What?!
Vince: ...Owen Hart.
Jim Ross: He's a whiner, he whines about everything.
Lawler: Listen to you guys, he's a Slammy Award winner!

Vince: [as Bulldog attempts to throw out Austin] Austin's going for the ride!
Lawler: Yes!
[As this happened, Owen throws Bulldog out, Austin avoiding the floor]
Vince: Hey, wait a minute.
Jim Ross: I think that was Owen eliminated Bulldog.
Vince: [as Owen and Bulldog argue] Owen Hart trying to... the Bulldog is angry.
Jim Ross: Bulldog just called Owen an idiot!
Vince: They're tag team partners, they're Tag Team Champions!
Jim Ross: They're brother-in-laws!
Bulldog: He flipped me out!
Lawler: So what, you whiner. It's every man for himself.
Vince: I understand that, although Owen was professing it was an accident. He was...
Lawler: Probably was.
Vince: ...attempting to get Stone Cold Steve Austin out.
Jim Ross: Owen hasn't told the truth since the King was a prince.

Lawler: [on "Double J" Jesse James] The guy's a promising young singer, I wish he'd promise to stop singing.

Vince: Stone Cold Steve Austin, and you gotta get credit where it's due. You may not like Stone Cold, you may not like his attitude, but Austin is a competitor.
Jim Ross: While these 60,000+ fans I'm assuming appreciate Austin's intensity, they certainly do not appreciate his attitude.
Vince: Who will be next? Who will face Stone Cold Steve Austin in less than ten seconds?
Lawler: The quicker he can eliminate them, the more time he has to rest. [Time expires, Austin is shocked to hear Bret "Hitman" Hart's music.] Uh-oh.
Vince: YES! YES! YES!

Lawler: Watch this. [Time expires, and Lawler's music plays. He is #22] Oh, yeah! Hey, McMahon, watch this, baby!
Vince: I can't believe it! You are in it!
Lawler: [removing his jacket and headset] I said it once, and I'll say it again—it takes a king!
Vince: Jerry "The King" Lawler sneaking up behind the Hitman Bret Hart!
[Bret turns his attention from Austin to Lawler. Punches him twice, the second one sending Lawler flying over and onto the floor]
Jim Ross: I think we just saw a record broken! I think Lawler has just broken the record!
Vince: I think you just said it takes a king...
Lawler: [putting headset back on] To know a king!

Jim Ross: Bret Hart thought this morning, when I talked to him on Superstars, that he shouldn't even have to be in this matchup, that he should've come into the Royal Rumble as the WWF Champion.
Lawler: He shouldn't have even been in this matchup!
Jim Ross: That's what I just said.
Lawler: Not because he should be the champion, it's because he shouldn't even be in the WWF! He's a jerk!

Vince: Mankind and Funk on the far side, they're just mauling each other.
Lawler: That's a shame. I think they're doing it 'cause they like it. I'd just like to see Mankind and Terry Funk as a team.

Vince: [Bret has thrown Austin out] Austin's been eliminated! He was in there for 34 minutes!
Jim Ross: [as Austin sneaks back into the ring] Well the referees didn't see it.
Vince: Austin has been eliminated. [Austin tosses out the Undertaker and Vader] Wait a minute, the Undertaker and Vader have both just been eliminated! [Bret throws out "Diesel"] Diesel's been eliminated as well! And now it's over! [From behind, Austin throws out Bret] Oh, no! NO! [The bell sounds]
Jim Ross: Wait a minute here.
Howard: Here is the winner of the 1997 Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Lawler: He eliminated the Hitman! I didn't actually see Austin's feet hit the floor!
Jim Ross: [As Austin leaves, Bret enters the rings berating the referees] Austin eliminated the Undertaker and Vader and Bret Hart, but Austin went out! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold and the referees didn't see it, and Bret Hart is not gonna stand for it!
Lawler: Maybe his feet didn't hit the floor, Ross.
Jim Ross: I saw it! I was sitting right here, King! I didn't even see the monitors!
Vince: Imagine Bret Hart...imagine what's going on in his mind. Stone Cold was eliminated—we saw it, we called it—the officials were over there with Mankind and Terry Funk and didn't see it.
Jim Ross: Bret Hart's obsession with winning the WWF Title is so evident! Bret cannot believe it! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold, and neither referee saw it!


Road Dogg Jesse James: Just like your precious 49ers, your precious LOD is about to become a part of history as well. Steve Young will play a major role in the Super Bowl this year—he'll be the one telling his fat wife to fetch him another brewski.

Lawler: Look at the idiots that are in this ring right now: Chainsaw, Mosh, Cactus Jack. I feel like calling Unsolved Mysteries and saying, "hey, I found everybody."

Jim Ross: He's 6'7", 300+ pounds, he's about a biscuit away from 315. It's Phineas Godwinn — living proof of what happens when first cousins marry.
Lawler: I'm gonna tell you something — we're fixin' to have five WWF Superstars in the ring and only one brain between them, and that's in the head of the Rock.

Jim Ross: Remember what's at stake: the opportunity to wrestle the WWF Champion at the biggest event in the industry, the biggest event of all time, WrestleMania XIV in Boston.
Lawler: (laughing) Right, and that rug has been yanked right out from under Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jim Ross: If...that's the truth, that's gonna be a heartbreaker for the ol' rattlesnake.
Lawler: Brought it on himself. (Buzzer sounds, signaling entrant #24. Austin's music blares) What?!
Jim Ross: (as all wrestlers stop fighting and look toward the entrance) Stone Cold...that's Austin's music. The action has stopped, everyone is awaiting the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Lawler: Look out, he's from behind! (Austin comes in the ring from behind, attacks Marc Mero and eliminates him)
Jim Ross: Austin came from the crowd! There goes Mero! Stone Cold is like a man possessed!

[Kane and Paul Bearer have set the casket with the Undertaker inside on fire.]


The Rock: Now you tell the Rock, after the most electrifying in sports entertainment today, that you quit!
Mankind: Go to Hell, Rock
The Rock: Say "I quit"!
Mankind: You'll have to kill me.

Michael Cole: Only one other man in the history of the Royal Rumble has gone from #1 to win it all—Stone Cold is gonna try to become #2. There is only one Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Lawler: Well that's true, but let me just tell you this. You like to talk about history, I venture to say there is only one WWF Superstar that is gonna be in this very ring tonight that has never ever lost a match in his life.
Michael Cole: And who is that?
Lawler: That is Mr. McMahon.
Michael Cole: Oh, please, he's never had one.
Lawler: Never lost a match in his life! Shut up!


Lawler: [as Viscera enters the Rumble, facing Rikishi] This is the old unstoppable meeting the immovable, and they're both unliftable.

Lawler: Have you seen Albert's tongue? It's pierced, have you seen that?
Jim Ross: I have not looked at his tongue or any other parts of his anatomy that closely, quite frankly.
Lawler: He told me that piercing didn't hurt, but then he showed me one that did.

Lawler: Can we see that poor Chinese guy Taka Michinoku get thrown over the top rope again?
Jim Ross: He's Japanese!

Jim Ross: Funaki's eliminated for about the eighth time tonight.
Lawler: At least he had a good view there for a second.
Jim Ross: Funaki's been eliminated more times than any other Royal Rumble competitor.

Jim Ross: Taka had to be taken to a hospital.
Lawler: Do they have some good Chinese hospitals in New York?
Jim Ross: Will you stop that?


Lawler: [after Matt and Jeff Hardy eliminate each other, leaving Drew Carey by himself] Do you realize if this was over, Drew would be going to WrestleMania?!
Jim Ross: Oh God, I shudder to think that.

Lawler: Kane is about to become famous. He's gonna be on the news, he's gonna be on the front page of the New York Post!
Jim Ross: Drew Carey's asking for assistance. I hope he's got good insurance with the Screen Actors Guild.
Lawler: I can see it now. Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, the E! Network. Look at Drew, he's calling for the Hardys to come back.
Jim Ross: Drew Carey has been left all alone at the Royal Rumble. He's all by himself, and the Big Red Machine is a carnivore!
Lawler: Yeah, I don't think Drew fully understands what he's gotten into here tonight.
Jim Ross: The Big Red Machine's a carnivore, and Drew Carey's a big ol' pork chop.

Jim Ross: [after Bradshaw attacks Val Venis, saving the Rock from elimination] Bradshaw should've helped Val, in my estimation.
Lawler: Nah, nobody wants to help Val or any member of the Right to Censor.
Jim Ross: Yeah, you make a good point.


Jim Ross: Fans chanting, "we want Head," at Al Snow. Al Snow and his former mannequin head.
Lawler: I'll get in on that chant, but not at Al Snow.
Jim Ross: Would you behave?

Jim Ross: [The Undertaker stands alone in the ring, having thrown out four men] You don't need RE/MAX or Century 21 to tell you whose yard this belongs to, and I don't think it's for sale.
Lawler: You know what, JR? There's only one thing I wouldn't wanna be.
Jim Ross: What's that, King?
Lawler: Next.

Lawler: Matt Hardy could certainly use some help out here, couldn't he?
Jim Ross: Yeah, he ain't likely to get it. It's every man for himself. [Time expires. Entry #10 is Jeff Hardy] But maybe so, King!
Lawler: What?!
Jim Ross: Here comes Jeff Hardy!
Lawler: Now wait a minute.
Jim Ross: Undertaker about to suplex Matt to the outside, Jeff Hardy blocked that, and now both the Hardys...
Lawler: I got a question—who picked these numbers?
Jim Ross: They were drawn randomly. The numbers are drawn randomly [Lita jumps into the ring and joins the Undertaker beatdown] The Hardys and Lita getting some retribution for their near-career-ending injuries!
Lawler: [as Lita is pulled out] They let her out there and she doesn't have a number?
Jim Ross: [off the Hardys embrace] Look at the reunion of the Hardys! They're back on the same page! Lita's on the same page!
Lawler: No, Lita's off the page!

Lawler: WHAT?!
Jim Ross: MY GOD, MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! That is the biggest shocker I've ever seen at the Royal Rumble!
Lawler: WHAT?!
Jim Ross: You heard me right!
Lawler: Let me do it again. WHAT?!

Jim Ross: [after an eliminated Austin nails Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, and Triple H with a chair] Austin may have been eliminated, King, but he's made his mark indelibly on the head of his three adversaries!
Lawler: He is the meanest, maddest snake you'll ever lay eyes on! You don't trust anybody, especially that snake right there!
Jim Ross: The Bionic Redneck is pissed, you can count on that!

Jim Ross: Angle in trouble! Angle in trouble! [Triple H clotheslines Angle out of the ring, winning the Rumble] IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE GAME! THE GAME!
Howard: Your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Triple H!
Jim Ross: He went through eight months of hell just to make it back, but many said he'd never make it! And now Triple H is going to WrestleMania! Triple H is going to meet the Undisputed WWF Champion at WrestleMania!


Michael Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Team Angle has been ejected from this contest!
Tazz: Wait a minute, that ain't...if that's true, that ain't cool, that ain't right!
Michael Cole: What do you mean, it's not right?
Tazz: [stammering] Well, I...maybe it is right. I don't know, I thought Team Angle was out here to learn and...observe from Kurt Angle.
Michael Cole: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit will be a classic match-up. There is no need for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to be involved. I believe Kurt Angle, Tazz, deep down inside realizes that he cannot beat Chris Benoit. He brought Benjamin and Haas in here as an insurance policy—that insurance policy has been sent to the back.

Lawler: [after Chris Jericho nails Shawn Michaels with a chair] Jericho admitted he always admired and emulated Shawn Michaels, but you'd never know it from that vile chair shot!
Jim Ross: I don't know if Jericho respects anybody or anything!

Lawler: Poor HBK caught off guard right from the get-go with the help, of course, from Christian and that phony entrance there; Jericho shows up from behind, low blow... [Jericho tosses Michaels onto the floor] ...and ousts Shawn Michaels!
Jim Ross: Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho! Shawn Michaels, battered and bloody, a low blow, a chair shot, the distraction, all combined to eliminate Shawn Michaels. I tell you what, I would not have called that in a million years.

John Cena: Yo, Yo, Yo!!! Thuganomics Style!
Naw, naw, Put down your tea potties, get away from your John Hancocks,
I'm rockin this Thuganomics style
Yo, besides open mics, one thing that gets me boiled
Is an old school 30-man battle royal
I'm-a win this, I'm-a make my impression
Show Vinnie Mac that I got ruthless aggression
The odds were even until you chose me
Now it's 29 dudes and one ruthless MC
Yo, it doesn't matter, kid, 'cause I'll rip your nose off
I could batter you naked with no clothes on
Kid, what you talkin' 'bout. Three reasons I'm-a win this
Reason #1—I cut you up like cucumbers
Reason #2 that you care to protest
I'll be chokin' you like Sprewell be chokin' coaches
Reason #3's hard for me to explain to ya
But I'm-a win tonight and go on to WrestleMania
The Royal Rumble's just another test I got to pass
Y'all dudes are like a kid with one leg—you half-assed
Yo, what you talkin' 'bout, kid. You can't touch this
Throw the double clutches if you're down with untouches
Yo it's my year, I suggest you take the year off.
I'm sick like Tyson was when he bit Holyfield's ear off.
It doesn't matter, kid. Yo, you should stop defeat me
My style's like a swollen penis, you can't beat me.
Lawler: Oh, do you like the rap, JR?
Jim Ross: Ninety seconds of...what the hell'd he say?

Jim Ross: Cena's an amazing young athletic prospect on SmackDown. He's a future main event player, and you're in the main event at WrestleMania if you can win the Royal Rumble match. Cena's got his whole career ahead of him—a great young prospect, but he rapped for damn near ninety seconds.
Lawler: So what's wrong with that? He's still in the Royal Rumble.

Lawler: [Undertaker re-enters the ring after Brock Lesnar's win] Wait a minute. What's gonna happen here?
Jim Ross: This could be another explosion.
Lawler: No, I think the Undertaker's saying...that's twice you got me. But next time you got a title, he wants a shot.
Jim Ross: I think that's exactly what the Undertaker said: if you become the Champion again, give me my opportunity. And Brock Lesnar will give the Undertaker that opportunity.
Lawler: Undertaker had delivered that chair shot on Batista, but he took his mind off Brock Lesnar, just for a split second.
Jim Ross: This is gonna kill Paul Heyman.


Batista: Hey, Dudleys! What is it with you guys and championship matches? I mean, we whipped your ass at Armageddon, we kicked your asses all over Raw, we're about to beat your asses again tonight! I mean, you guys are the biggest three-time losers since the Philadelphia Eagles!

Tazz: [after Ernest "The Cat Miller is thrown out, having spent his entire stay dancing in the ring to "Somebody Call My Mama"] Good, enough of the dancing. I'm sick of it.
Jim Ross: Well, we're back down to where we started. We'll continue the wrestling portion of the Royal Rumble match.
Tazz: Somebody better call his mama. Call him a taxi to the hotel.
Jim Ross: Cat's got plenty of time to call his mama.

Jim Ross: Randy Orton needs to make hay while the sun is shining, so to speak.
Tazz: What the hell does that mean, JR? I'm from Brooklyn.


[Batista walks into the room to draw his number for the Royal Rumble]
Eric Bischoff: What the hell kind of championship match do you call that, where you have a hundred people interfering?
Theodore Long: What are you talking about? Like your World Championship match isn't gonna have a ton of interference. Everyone knows that Evolution's gonna get involved. can even ask him; he can tell you that.
Eric: Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...
Batista: [having drawn] I just came here to get my number.
Eric: What I'm gonna do...
Theodore: What are you gonna do?
Eric: Raw's Championship match—Evolution is banned from ringside.
Theodore: Really?
Batista: Is that right?
Eric: That's right, Batista, and my decision is final. The only question is, do you wanna tell Triple H, or would you like me to?
Batista: [thinking about it, then smiling] No, I'll tell him.
Theodore: [to Eric, as Batista leaves] You know something? For once, you've done something right.

JBL: If Amy looks good sober, can you imagine what she's gonna look like after this bottle?!

Theodore: What's gonna happen at No Way Out, you will face the man that you did not pin tonight—The Big Show.
JBL: What's he gonna do, eat me? What's he gonna do? I don't care if he's from the Jurassic Age, the Triassic Age or the Chevy Classic Age; I'm gonna beat the Big Show like he's gonna eat a pizza!

Jim Ross: Severe weather alert: The Hurricane has passed through.

Jim Ross: [on entry #14: Muhammad Hassan] Unfortunately, this man is from Raw.
Tazz: You proud of this guy, JR?
Jim Ross: I am not.
Tazz: You can keep him on Raw, I'll tell you that right now.
Jim Ross: I'll make you a trade.

Jim Ross: What the hell is Simon Dean doing?
Tazz: I have no idea. Your Raw guys are...I don't know what the hell they're doing playing games, with all respect.
Jim Ross: He's as goofy as a pet coon, I can tell you that right now. Look at him. He's warming up. He had all damn day to warm up! Get in the ring, you idiot! Mysterio taking out Eddie Guerrero face-first.
Tazz: [laughing] Dude's doing Hindu squats outside of the ring. [Edge throws out Eddie Guerrero] Oh, damn it to Hell! You gotta be kidding.
Jim Ross: Eddie Guerrero eliminated. Edge eliminating Eddie Guerrero.
Tazz: That's your fault! That's Raw's fault, because this guy on the outside's doing squats and he distracted Guerrero!
Jim Ross: [as Simon Dean gets in the ring] I hope somebody eliminates Simon Dean, like, immediately. Right now.
Tazz: Me too.
Jim Ross: John Doan could've eliminated him for all I care!

Tazz: [on entry #21: Jonathan Coachman] Tell me, JR, that he deserves to be in the Rumble.
Jim Ross: I can't.
Tazz: Well, look at the arms on him. Last time I saw arms like that, they were hanging out of a nest. Give me a break, this guy's not a superstar.
Jim Ross: Don't get mad at me about it, I didn't put him in.
Tazz: I'm mad at everybody!
Jim Ross: Bischoff put him in.
Tazz: That's true.
Jim Ross: Look at Coach taking his time. He's got...just so you know who he is, you ever wonder, just look at his ass—it's got "Coach" written all over it.


Triple H: [as the numbers are being mixed] You see the problem with the whole living in the fantasy world, talking about destiny. I live in reality.
Randy Orton: Reality, huh?
Triple H: Yeah, I live in reality world. Realities beating you for a title, or realities of you not standing a chance tonight. I'm gonna win the Royal Rumble. Torrie, would you mind opening your box for me. [Torrie opens the bin and Triple H reaches in to draw a number. He pulls out a ball, Candice taps it with her wand.] Would you hold my ball? [Candice takes the empty ball and Triple H unfolds the paper containing the number] Kid, read 'em and weep.
[Triple H looks and his jaw drops]
Randy Orton: [laughing] Whoa, bro. Reality? Let me tell you what your reality is—you're screwed. You are screwed, man; tough luck. I'll see you out there...or maybe not.

Joey Styles: Mickie James is obsessed with Trish. She's her #1 fan, she's obsessed with Trish, and time and time again she's attacked Ashley just because...well, for no reason, quite frankly. Just because when anyone gets near Trish, Mickie James goes crazy.
Lawler: Well, who wouldn't go crazy when you get near Trish?
Joey Styles: Oh, you know what I mean.
Lawler: I would love to be that striped shirt that Trish is wearing. Can you imagine being that close to Trish?

Lawler: I can usually read a woman like a book—I prefer the Braille edition—but Mickie James, I can't get a read on her at all.

Lawler: Rey Mysterio drew #2, looked up in the skies, the heavens, and said, "Eddie, you got me." Maybe Eddie just wanted to watch Rey for a long time tonight.

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!
Lawler: Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.


Lawler: Was that a scream of joy from Melina?
Jim Ross: I haven't made a lot of women scream, so I can't tell you.

Michael Cole: It's been well-documented, JBL, that when Mr. Kennedy can target a body part, he will be relentless and rabid on the assault throughout the match-up, and that's what he's doing here.
JBL: Just what I said. Just exactly what I said! I'm sitting out here with a damn parrot!

JBL: Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!
Michael Cole: Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.
JBL: No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!
Michael Cole: I guess you didn't see the low blow.
JBL: I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!

JBL: [on CM Punk] They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.
Michael Cole: But he's a hell of an athlete...
JBL: He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.

Michael Cole: King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...
JBL: "Claiming"?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms] Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!

JBL: [King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him] It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it!
Michael Cole:, does that mean Kane's eliminated?
JBL: Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!
Michael Cole: This is ridiculous!
JBL: It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!
Lawler It's the Royal Rumble!
[Buzzer sounds, signaling entry #19: Viscera]
Michael Cole: Uh-oh!
JBL: Here comes Visagra.
Lawler: But I don't think he's bringing any love to the Royal Rumble.
Michael Cole: Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...
JBL: How could he not be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!
Michael Cole: Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!
JBL: Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!
Michael Cole: That's part of the match and you know it!
JBL: He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!

Lawler: Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?
Michael Cole: Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's debut.
JBL: I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna eat.

Michael Cole: [The Great Khali has eliminated seven men, and four lie in the ring] The power, the strength, who can stop the Great Khali?!
JBL: Absolutely nobody.
Lawler: [as the buzzer sounds for entry #30] I'd have second thoughts about coming out...
[Funeral bell sounds, meaning only one man]
Michael Cole: Maybe there is someone! Maybe there is someone! The legendary Phenom, the Undertaker!
JBL: But nobody has come in at #30 and won the Royal Rumble.
Michael Cole: It's never happened, but Undertaker has faced, he has battled, he has taken out Khali before.
JBL: The roof is about to blow of this place!
Lawler: It doesn't get any better than this!
JBL: Throw some gasoline on the fire! My God, I love it!

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