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Scrubs
Scrubscard.png
Intertitle
Format Comedy-drama
Created by Bill Lawrence
Starring Zach Braff
Sarah Chalke
Donald Faison
Neil Flynn
Ken Jenkins
John C. McGinley
Judy Reyes
Eliza Coupe
Kerry Bishé
Michael Mosley
Dave Franco
Narrated by Zach Braff
Kerry Bishé
Opening theme "Superman" by Lazlo Bane (Seasons 1–8)
Covered by WAZ (Season 9)
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 9
No. of episodes 181 (including one double-length episode[1])
(List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Bill Lawrence
Neil Goldman and Garrett Donovan (2006–09)
Tim Hobert (2006)
Tad Quill (2006)
Bill Callahan (2007–09)
Zach Braff (2009–10)
Josh Bycel (2009–10)
Jonathan Groff (2009)
Camera setup Single camera
Running time 21–25 minutes
Broadcast
Original channel NBC (2001–08)
ABC (2009–10)
Picture format 4:3 480i (SDTV) (NBC)
16:9 720p (HDTV) (ABC)
Audio format Stereo
Original run October 2, 2001 (2001-10-02) – present
Chronology
Related shows Scrubs: Interns
External links
Official website
Production website
Scrubs is an American comedy-drama created in 2001 by Bill Lawrence and produced currently by ABC Studios. The show follows the lives of several employees of Sacred Heart, a teaching hospital. It features fast-paced dialogue, slapstick, and surreal vignettes presented mostly as the daydreams of the central character, Dr. John "J.D." Dorian, who is played by Zach Braff. The ninth season saw the transition from Braff as the central character to Kerry Bishé, who plays Lucy Bennett. The show's title is a play on surgical scrubs and a term for a low-ranking or insignificant person (at the beginning of the show, most of the main characters were medical interns, one of the lowest ranks in the medical hierarchy).
Alongside Braff, the first eight seasons of the show feature Sarah Chalke, Donald Faison, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, John C. McGinley and Judy Reyes in starring roles. In the ninth season, only Braff, Faison and McGinley are listed as regular cast members, while the rest, with the exception of Reyes, have made guest appearances. Braff appeared in six episodes of the ninth season before departing. The ninth season also sees many new cast members introduced and shifts the show's setting from a hospital to a medical school. Kerry Bishé, Eliza Coupe, Dave Franco and Michael Mosley became series regulars, with Bishé becoming the show's new narrator.
A complete script is written for each episode of Scrubs; however, actors are given opportunities to improvise their lines during the shooting process. The series has repeatedly featured guest appearances by film actors not generally seen on episodic television, such as Colin Farrell, Heather Graham, and Brendan Fraser.
Scrubs premiered on October 2, 2001 on NBC. During the seventh season, NBC announced that it would not renew the show. Shortly after the seventh season finale, ABC announced that it had picked up the series for a new season and on January 6, 2009, the eighth season of Scrubs premiered on ABC. The ninth season, which premiered on December 1, 2009 on ABC, features several new cast members and is set at a new facility.

Contents

Narration

Scrubs focuses on the unique point of view of its main character and narrator, Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian (Zach Braff) for the first eight seasons, with season 9 being narrated by the new main character Lucy Bennett. Most episodes feature multiple story lines thematically linked via voice-overs done by Braff. According to Lawrence, "What we decided was, rather than have it be a monotone narration, if it's going to be Zach's voice, we're going to do everything through J.D.'s eyes. It opened up a visual medium that those of us as comedy writers were not used to."[2] In every episode J.D. has many comical daydreams as well as many "situation comedy" style lines, which are often a result of improvisation. At the end of most episodes, J.D. summarizes the story's theme in a sequence of shots that show how it has affected each of the characters.
Almost every episode title for the first eight seasons begins with the first person singular possessive determiner, i.e. "My...". Bill Lawrence says this is because each episode is Dr. John Dorian writing in his diary (said on the commentary on the first season episode "My Hero"). There are notable exceptions in the episodes entitled "His Story", "His Story II", "Her Story", "Her Story II", "His Story III", "His Story IV", "Their Story" and "Their Story II". Apart from a brief period of narration from J.D. at the beginning and end, these episodes primarily contain internal narration from another character besides J.D. The transfer of the narration duties usually occurs at a moment of physical contact between two characters.
Starting with season nine, the episode titles now start with "Our..." as the focus has shifted from the perspective of J.D. to a new group of medical students, with Lucy Bennett narrating. The webisodes that accompanied season eight, Scrubs: Interns, also were named "Our...".

Cast and characters

Scrubs's original cast. From left to right, John C. McGinley, Neil Flynn, Sarah Chalke, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Ken Jenkins and Judy Reyes.
Scrubs's season 9 cast. Top row (from left to right): Eliza Coupe, John C. McGinley, Donald Faison, 2nd row: Michael Mosley, Zach Braff, Dave Franco, bottom: Kerry Bishé.
For the first eight seasons, the series featured seven main cast members, with numerous characters recurring throughout the series. Starting with the ninth season, much of the original cast left as regular characters, while four new additions were made to the cast.
  • Zach Braff portrays John Michael "J.D." Dorian (Season 1–present), the show's protagonist and narrator. J.D. is a young attending physician, who begins the series as a staff intern. His voice-over to the series comes from his internal thoughts and often features surreal fantasies.
  • Sarah Chalke portrays Elliot Reid (Seasons 1–8, recurring season 9), another intern and later private practice physician. Her relationship with J.D. becomes romantic on several occasions throughout the series. Elliot is driven by a neurotic desire to prove her abilities to her family (in which all of the males are doctors), her peers, and herself. In season nine, she is seen pregnant.
  • Donald Faison portrays Christopher Turk (Season 1–present), J.D.'s best friend and surgical Chief Surgeon. Turk and J.D. were roommates when they attended the College of William and Mary as well as in medical school, and the two have an extremely close relationship, which is best described in season 6 as "Guy Love" or a "bro-mance".
  • Neil Flynn portrays the hospital's custodian (Seasons 2–8, recurring season 1, guest star season 9), known only as "Janitor". An incident in the pilot episode establishes an adversarial relationship between him and J.D., which persists throughout the series. This tends to take the form of the Janitor pulling mean-spirited pranks on J.D., although he has shown, several times through out the series, that he has a good side. In the season eight finale, "'the Janitor"' admits his name to J.D. as "Glenn Matthews". However, shortly after he acknowledges another member of hospital staff, who calls him by a different name, making it unclear whether or not "Glenn Matthews" really is his name.
  • Ken Jenkins portrays Bob Kelso (Seasons 1–8, recurring season 9), who used to be Sacred Heart's Chief of Medicine. Kelso is cold, heartless and cruel, driven primarily by the hospital's bottom line rather than the well-being of patients. It is occasionally suggested that he has a softer side, and that his cruelty is a means of coping with the years of hard decisions. He has been forced to make hard decisions from the beginning, stating that when he became Chief of Medicine, he thought he'd be "the man". Instead he very quickly realized that the harsh decisions made him unpopular, but he had to continue his "evil" facade to keep the hospital running smoothly. He retired in Season 7, after which his relationship with staff at the hospital improves. He occasionally talks about his homosexual son's activities. After retiring he just sits around the hospital using his 'free muffins for life' to stuff his face, whilst talking to old colleagues.
  • John C. McGinley portrays Perry Cox (Season 1–present), who becomes the new Chief of Medicine at Sacred Heart in Season 8. J.D. considers Cox his mentor despite the fact that Cox routinely criticizes and belittles him. Cox frequently suggests that this harsh treatment is intended as conditioning for the rigors of hospital life.
  • Judy Reyes portrays Carla Espinosa (Seasons 1–8), the hospital's head nurse, who acts like a mother figure to interns, often hiding their mistakes from their attending doctor.[3] During the course of the series Turk forms a relationship with Carla; they start dating early in the series, later getting married, and starting a family together.
  • Eliza Coupe portrays Denise Mahoney (Season 9, recurring season 8), an intern at Sacred Heart Hospital in Season 8. In Season 9, she is an attending physician at the new Sacred Heart Hospital as well as a student advisor and teacher's assistant at Winston University.
  • Kerry Bishé portrays Lucy Bennett (Season 9), who is a medical student at Winston University and the show's new narrator.
  • Michael Mosley portrays Drew Suffin (Season 9), who is a medical student at Winston University giving it a second go after some wrong turns in his personal life.
  • Dave Franco portrays Cole Aaronson (Season 9), who is a medical student at Winston University. His family donated a large amount of money to get the new Sacred Heart Hospital built and as such, believes that he can do whatever he wants and is untouchable.

Season synopses

The first season introduces J.D. and his best friend Turk in their first year out of medical school as interns at Sacred Heart Hospital. J.D. quickly meets his reluctant mentor, Dr. Perry Cox; an attractive young woman (and fellow intern) named Elliot, on whom J.D. quickly develops a crush; the hospital's janitor, who goes out of his way to make J.D.'s life miserable; the Chief of Medicine, Dr. Bob Kelso, who appears to be more concerned about the budget than the patients; and Carla Espinosa, the head nurse and soon Turk's new girlfriend, who puts Turk through the trials and tribulations of being in a serious relationship. The characters face romances and relationship issues, family obligations, overwhelming paperwork and a tremendous number of patients.
The second season focuses on J.D.'s second year practicing medicine at Sacred Heart, where he is now a resident. As the season develops, J.D.'s older brother Dan (Tom Cavanagh) comes to visit, money issues affect J.D., Elliot, and Turk, Turk proposes to Carla, and Elliot finds a new boyfriend, a nurse named Paul Flowers (Rick Schroder). Dr. Cox resumes a sexual relationship with his ex-wife Jordan, with quite unexpected results.
As the third season opens, Elliot decides to change her image, with some help from the Janitor. J.D.'s undeniable crush on Elliot emerges again, but J.D. instead begins a relationship with Jordan's sister Danni (Tara Reid), who is also dealing with feelings for her ex. Turk and Carla are engaged and planning their wedding. Turk, along with the Todd and the other surgical residents, deal with new attending surgeon Dr. Grace Miller (Bellamy Young), who dislikes Turk and considers him sexist. Dr. Cox and Jordan are doing well with their relationship and their son Jack, although Dr. Cox develops a schoolboy crush on Dr. Miller. He also struggles with the death of his best friend. Elliot gets into a serious relationship with Sean Kelly (Scott Foley) and tries to maintain a long-distance relationship while he's in New Zealand for six months. J.D. eventually convinces Elliot to break up with Sean to date him, only to realize, once he has her, that he doesn't actually love her. Their relationship lasts three days. The season ends with Turk and Carla's wedding, which Turk misses due to surgery and a church mix-up.
In season four, J.D. finishes his residency and becomes a full-blown colleague of Dr. Cox, although their dynamic does not change much. As the season opens, Turk arrives from his honeymoon with Carla, but they soon start having issues when Carla tries to change many things about her new husband. Their marriage and Turk's friendship with J.D. experience friction when J.D. and Carla share a drunken kiss. Dr. Cox and Jordan learn that their divorce was not final, but this isn't necessarily all good news. Elliot is still angry with J.D. for breaking her heart, and the situation becomes more uncomfortable still when she dates J.D.'s brother. J.D. has a new love interest of his own when a new and very attractive psychiatrist, Dr. Molly Clock (Heather Graham), arrives at Sacred Heart. Molly also serves as Elliot's mentor during her time at the hospital.
Season five starts with J.D. living in a hotel while sorting out apartment issues. Elliot has taken a new fellowship in another hospital. Turk and Carla are trying to have a baby, despite Turk still having doubts. Finally, some new interns have arrived to Sacred Heart, chief among them being Keith Dudemeister (Travis Schuldt) who soon becomes Elliot's new boyfriend, much to J.D.'s dissatisfaction.
The sixth season sees J.D. and the other characters mature to fill the different roles required of them. Turk and Carla become parents when Carla gives birth to their daughter Isabella. Elliot plans her wedding to Keith, although she and J.D. still harbor feelings for each other. Dr. Cox, as father of two children with Jordan, struggles to prevent his foul disposition from affecting his parenting. J.D. is cast in the role of expecting father, discovering at the very end of the season that his girlfriend, Dr. Kim Briggs (Elizabeth Banks), is pregnant with his child.
In season seven, J.D. and Elliot struggle once again to deny their feelings for each other, despite Elliot soon to be marrying Keith and J.D. to have his first son with Kim, whilst the Janitor may have a new girlfriend. Bob Kelso's job is also put on the line as he approaches the age of 65. J.D.'s brother Dan also returns to town.
The eighth season sees Dr. Kelso's replacement, Dr. Taylor Maddox (Courteney Cox-Arquette), arrive; she quickly makes a lot of changes, affecting the way doctors treat patients. Elliot and J.D. finally discuss their true feelings for each other and again become a couple. Janitor and Lady (Kit Pongetti) marry, while Dr. Cox is promoted to chief of medicine. J.D. prepares to leave Sacred Heart to move closer to his son, along with Elliot. Turk is also promoted to chief of surgery at Sacred Heart.
Coinciding with season eight, Scrubs: Interns was also launched, focusing around the eighth season's medical interns, Sunny Day (Sonal Shah), Denise (Eliza Coupe), Katie (Betsy Beutler), and Howie (Todd Bosley). The interns learn from various characters of the show about life in the hospital.
The ninth season, which began airing on December 1, 2009, takes place over a year after season eight's finale. The old Sacred Heart hospital has been torn down and rebuilt and Doctors Cox, Dorian and Turk are now Winston University medical school professors whose students occasionally rotate through the new Sacred Heart. Between the end of season eight and the beginning of season nine, the Janitor has left the hospital after being told that J.D. was not returning, and Elliot and J.D. have married and are expecting their first child. JD's stay at the university is short and he leaves the series after several episodes. Sam Lloyd reprised his role as Ted Buckland for a single episode.

Production

The origin for the show is loosely based on Dr. Jonathan Doris' experiences as a resident in internal medicine at Brown Medical School, which served as inspiration for college friend and show creator Bill Lawrence.[4]
Scrubs is produced by ABC, through its production division, even though it was aired by rival broadcaster NBC.[5] According to show runner Lawrence, the arrangement is unusual, at least for 2007: "The show is a dinosaur, on one network and completely owned by another" and, since it is now in syndication, making a "ton of money for Touchstone."[6] Both he and Braff confirmed ABC would have broadcast the seventh season had NBC refused to do so.[6][7]
Since Scrubs is aired around the world in many different languages, instances of foreign languages on the show have to be changed for the international versions. Carla's Spanish is changed to Italian in the Spanish language version of the show, and Elliot's German is changed to Danish (or, in at least one fourth-season episode German with a Swiss accent) in the German version of the show.[citation needed]

Title sequence

The chest X-ray featured at the end of the title sequence was hung backwards for most of the first five seasons. Bill Lawrence has stated that having the X-ray backwards was intentional as it signified that the new interns were inexperienced.[8] During Zach Braff's audio commentary on "My Last Chance", he states that the error was actually unintentional. The error became somewhat infamous and was even parodied in "My Cabbage".
An attempt was made to fix the error in the extended title sequence that was used at the beginning of season 2 that included Neil Flynn, but the extended sequence (including corrected X-ray) were soon scrapped at fan and network request. Finally, in "My Urologist", Dr. Kim Briggs steps into the credits and switches the X-ray around, saying, "That's backwards; it's been bugging me for years". At the beginning of season 8, when the series switched to ABC, the chest X-ray was once again backwards.
The ninth season features a new title sequence with a new version of the theme song "Superman." The new title sequences features the four new characters–Denise, Lucy, Drew and Cole, as well as Dr. Cox and Turk, while J.D. is seen at the end placing the chest X-ray. All season 9 episodes that do not feature J.D., he is absent from the title sequence and Lucy is the one placing the X-ray. The X-ray at the end of the sequence is also not backwards and the subtitle Med School appears at the end of the sequence.

Main crew

The show's creator, executive producer, and head writer is Bill Lawrence. He has written 14 episodes and directed 17. He is also the show runner and does many uncredited re-writes for episodes. Neil Goldman and Garrett Donovan co-wrote 13 episodes during their 8-year run on the show, starting as co-producers on the show and working their way up to executive producers; they left the show after the eighth season.[9] Mike Schwartz, who also played Lloyd the Delivery Guy, wrote 13 episodes during the first eight seasons; he started out as a story editor and became co-executive producer in season 6. Janae Bakken and Debra Fordham were writers and producers during the first eight seasons, each writing 16 episodes. Other notable writers that started in the first season include Mark Stegemann, who wrote 14 episodes and directed 2 episodes during the first eight seasons; Gabrielle Allan, who wrote 11 episodes during the first four seasons and was co-executive producer; Eric Weinberg, who wrote 11 episodes during the first six seasons and was co-executive producer; Matt Tarses, who wrote 8 episodes during the first four seasons and was co-executive producer. Notable writers that joined in the second season include Tim Hobert, who wrote 11 episodes from season 2 to 6, and became executive producer in season 5. Angela Nissel wrote 10 episodes from season 2 to 8, starting out as a staff writer and became supervising producer in season 7. Bill Callahan joined the show in season 4, writing 8 episodes from season 4 to 8, he became executive producer in season 6.
Adam Bernstein, who directed the pilot episode, "My First Day", also directed 11 episodes up until season 7. Michael Spiller has directed the highest amount of episodes, directing 20 during the entire series run. Ken Whittingham and Chris Koch both directed 12 episodes from season 2 to 9. Comedian Michael McDonald, who also appeared on the show, directed 5 episodes. Show star Zach Braff directed 7 episodes of the show, including the landmark 100th episode "My Way Home", which won a Peabody Award in April 2007. In 2009 Josh Bycel, a writer and supervising producer for the animated comedy American Dad!, joined the crew as a new executive producer for the ninth season.[9]

Medical advisors

Scrubs writers work with several medical advisors, including doctors Jonathan Doris, Jon Turk, and Dolly Klock. Their names serve as the basis for the names of characters John Dorian, Chris Turk and Molly Clock (played by Braff, Faison, and Heather Graham, respectively).[10] In the season eight finale "My Finale", the "real JD" Jonathan Doris made a cameo appearance as the doctor who said "adios" to JD.

Filming location

The first eight seasons of Scrubs were filmed on location at the North Hollywood Medical Center, a real decommissioned hospital located at 12629 Riverside Drive in North Hollywood, but the location of Sacred Heart Hospital within the fictional world of Scrubs is left ambiguous. Cast and crew on the show refer to the location as "San DiFrangeles"—a portmanteau of San Diego, San Francisco, and Los Angeles that is meant to encompass a large part of California.[11] For the ninth season the show moved to Culver Studios.[12]

Writers strike and network change

On November 5, 2007, the Writers Guild of America went on strike, which put the production of the show's seventh season on hold. When the strike started, only eleven of Scrubs' eighteen planned seventh season episodes had been completely written.[13] Lawrence refused to cross any WGA picket lines to serve any of his duties for the show, so ABC Studios had non-WGA members finish episode twelve, which the studio had unsuccessfully pressured Lawrence to rewrite as a series finale prior to the strike.[13]
During the strike, NBC announced that The Office and Scrubs would be replaced by Celebrity Apprentice. NBC later announced that they would leave Scrubs on hiatus for the time being and fill the 8-9 PM timeslot with various specials and repeats.[14]
Episode 11, "My Princess", was eventually filmed,[15] although Lawrence was absent. Filming of episode 11 was disrupted by picketers. It was believed that Lawrence had tipped the picketers off about the filming schedule, although these beliefs turned out to be false as Lawrence quickly drove to the set to "keep the peace."[15] After the strike ended, Lawrence announced that the final episodes of Scrubs would be produced although, at the time, he was unsure where or how they would be distributed.[16]

Switch to ABC

Amid strike-induced doubt involving the final episodes of Scrubs, on February 28, 2008, The Hollywood Reporter reported that ABC was in talks with corporate sibling ABC Studios with the aim of bringing Scrubs to ABC for an eighth season of 18 episodes,[17] despite both Lawrence's and Braff's protests that the seventh season would definitely be the last.[15] Just hours later Variety reported that NBC was lashing out and threatening legal action against ABC Studios.[18] McGinley confirmed that he had been told to report back to work on March 24, 2008 to begin production for another season.[19] On March 12, 2008, McGinley was also quoted as saying that the show's long-rumored move from NBC to ABC was a done deal,[20] and that Scrubs would air on ABC during the 2008-09 TV season as a midseason replacement.[19]
On March 19, 2008, Michael Ausiello of TV Guide reported that although nothing was "official", the Scrubs cast was to report back to work the following Wednesday for work on a season "unofficial" as yet.[21] Zach Braff posted in his blog on MySpace, on April 28, 2008, that an eighth season consisting of 18 episodes was under production but that he could not say where it will be aired.[22] He then stated, on May 7, 2008, that the May 8 episode would be the final NBC-aired episode of Scrubs,[23] which was followed by a bulletin on his MySpace, on May 12, confirming that Scrubs's eighth season would be moving to ABC.

Season eight

On May 13, 2008, ABC announced that Scrubs would be a midseason replacement, airing Tuesday nights at 9PM EST.[24][25] Steve McPherson, ABC's President of Entertainment, also stated that additional seasons of Scrubs beyond the eighth could be produced if it performs well.[26] In late November, ABC announced Scrubs would resume with back-to-back episodes on January 6, 2009 at 9PM EST.[27]
Creator Bill Lawrence stated in a video interview that season 8 will be more like the first few seasons in tone, with more of a focus on more realistic and dramatic storylines and the introduction of new characters.[28] Courteney Cox joined the cast as the new Chief of Medicine, Dr. Maddox, for a three-episode arc.[29][30] The eighth season includes webisodes and is the first Scrubs season broadcast in high definition.[31]
Sarah Chalke was hoping that J.D. and Elliot would end up back together, comparing them to Friends characters Ross and Rachel, which has been addressed a few times on the show. In the early episodes of the season they did rekindle their relationship, and have continued dating through the end of the season. Several actors who guest starred as patients at Sacred Heart during the course of Scrubs returned for the finale.[32]
The double-length season eight finale, "My Finale", aired May 6, 2009, and was expected to be series finale. However, it soon became clear that the show would return for a ninth season.

Season nine

On April 16, 2009, Bill Lawrence wrote on the abc.com message boards that a season 9 of Scrubs was still "50/50."[33] On April 28, 2009, it was announced that ABC was in talks to renew Scrubs for another year,[34] but if this were to happen, some of the cast may or may not be back [due to other commitments], or only back part time.
Bill Lawrence also stated that Scrubs as we know it is over, although there are possibilities for the show to move forward with a new cast in an ER type role on ABC, or take a new title completely. In response to criticisms that the change would tarnish Scrubs' legacy, Lawrence was quoted saying "'Legacy shmegacy.' I'm really proud of the show, I'll continue to be proud of the show, but I love all of those people..."[35]
On June 19, 2009, it was announced that the reformatted ninth season of Scrubs would "shift from the hospital to the classroom and make med-school professors of John C. McGinley's Dr. Cox and Donald Faison's Turk." According to Lawrence, the ninth season will "be a lot like Paper Chase as a comedy", with Cox and Turk's students occasionally rotating through the halls of Sacred Heart and encountering former series regulars. McGinley and Faison were joined by "a quartet of newbies (most of them playing students)" as full-time regulars, while one of the freshmen "will be fairly famous".[36]
The biggest change to the show for the ninth season is a major cast revamp. Of the seven actors who have appeared in the show since the pilot, only Donald Faison and John C. McGinley are returning in regular roles. Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke are set to reprise their roles as J.D. and Elliot respectively for six episodes each [36] Neil Flynn will return for the first episode.[12] Ken Jenkins will also return[12][37] and will appear in at least the first two episodes.[38][39] Judy Reyes is the only original cast member not set to return.[40] The new main cast includes Eliza Coupe[41] returning to the recurring role of Denise "Jo" Mahoney from season eight, Dave Franco as Cole, a charming, confidently stupid and incredibly entitled medical student whose family donated the money to build the school,[42] Kerry Bishé will play Lucy, the new narrator for the show,[12][43] and Michael Mosley as Drew, a 30-year old med student on his last attempt at school.[43][44] Former Gilmore Girls star Lauren Graham was rumored to be "at the top of [ABC's] wish-list" of potential big-name actors.[45]
Another major change will be the setting of the show and where it is filmed. For the first eight seasons, the show was filmed at the North Hollywood Medical Center but production for this season will take place at Culver Studios. As a result, in the show, the existing Sacred Heart hospital will be mentioned to have been torn down and re-built on the "Winston University" campus.
The season nine finale, "Our Thanks", aired March 17, 2010.

Cinematography and delivery format

The show is shot with a single-camera setup instead of a multiple-camera setup more typical for situation comedies.[2] Episode 4.17 "My Life in Four Cameras", has a brief multi-camera style, since it includes J.D.'s fantasies of life being more like a traditional sitcom.
John Inwood, the cinematographer of the series, shoots with his own Aaton XTR prod Super16 film camera. Despite that some networks like BBC consider Super16 a "non-HD" format,[46] John Inwood believes that footage from his Super16 camera is not only sufficient to air in high definition, it "looks terrific."[47]
Except for the finale of season 5, "My Transition", which was broadcast in high definition,[48] the first seven seasons of the show have been broadcast in standard definition with 4:3 frame aspect ratio. After the show was moved from NBC to ABC, the broadcast format for new episodes changed to high definition. John Inwood believes that older episodes will be re-released in HD as well. From the very beginning he filmed the show with widescreen delivery in mind so the whole series could be aired in high definition when the market evolved.[47]
The first seven seasons of the show have been released on DVD in 4:3 format. The eighth season was released on DVD in 4:3 format and on Blu-ray disc in original widescreen format.

Music

Music plays a large role in Scrubs. A wide variety of rock, pop, and indie artists are featured, and almost every episode ends with a musical montage summing up the themes and plot lines of the episode, and the music for these montages is often picked even before the episodes are completely written.[49]
Members of the cast and crew are encouraged to contribute song suggestions, with many ideas coming from series creator Bill Lawrence, writer Neil Goldman, and actors Zach Braff (whose college friends Cary Brothers and Joshua Radin appear on the Scrubs soundtrack) and Christa Miller Lawrence (who selected Colin Hay and Tammany Hall NYC). According to Bill Lawrence, "Christa picks so much of the music for the show that a lot of the writers and actors don't even go to me anymore when they have a song. They hand it to her."[49]
In addition to music being featured as a soundtrack to the show, the cast themselves also sing on a frequent basis, such as in the episode "My Best Friend's Mistake" when the entire cast had the Erasure song "A Little Respect" stuck in their heads and would sing it repeatedly. Producers expanded Scrubs' musical emphasis with a musical episode early in the sixth season, called "My Musical". This episode aired on January 18, 2007.[50]

Theme song

The theme song of the series, performed by Lazlo Bane, is titled "Superman", and can be found on the album All the Time in the World, as well as on the first Scrubs soundtrack. Lawrence credits Braff for finding and suggesting "Superman" as the theme song.[8] The lyrics "I'm no Superman" relate to the show's theme of its characters' fallibility.
The Scrubs main title is performed at a faster tempo than the original recording of the song. The original, slower recording was used briefly at the beginning of season 2, played during an extended version of the title sequence (that included Flynn and full cast credits), as well as the opening for "My Urologist", and a special edit of the title sequence for resulting in roughly 1–2 seconds of music, followed by the line "I'm no Superman", accompanied by a quick flash of credits. The original intro from season 1 was used through most of season 3 (except the few episodes with the very short intro) and then used for seasons four through eight. Beginning with season nine, a new version of "Superman" is used which is performed by WAZ.[51]

Soundtracks

Three official soundtracks have been released. The first was released on CD on September 24, 2002, and a second an iTunes exclusive was released in mid-2006. An iMix on iTunes of the music used through the first five seasons has also been released.[citation needed]

Featured musical contributors

Colin Hay, the former frontman of Men at Work, has had music featured in at least seven episodes, and has appeared in the episode "My Overkill", performing the song "Overkill" as a street musician, and in the episode "My Hard Labor" performing "Down Under". Hay also sings "Where Everybody Knows Your Name", the theme from Cheers, in the episode "My Life in Four Cameras" and the episode "My Philosophy" features Hay's song "Waiting For My Real Life To Begin", sung by several members of the cast.
The music of Joshua Radin, who is a friend of Scrubs star Zach Braff,[52] has appeared in at least six episodes to date.
Music by Keren DeBerg has featured in 15 episodes, and she appeared in "My Musical" as an extra in the song "All Right".[53]

The "Worthless Peons"

The Worthless Peons (also known as Ted's Band, The Blanks, or in the non-canon "My Way Home" Director's Cut as "Foghat") are an a cappella group made up of hospital employees from different departments. They are a cover band, and often sing songs from a specific genre (for example, cartoon theme songs or commercial jingles). They have appeared in several episodes.
The Worthless Peons are played by The Blanks, who are a real-life a cappella band made up of Sam Lloyd (who plays Ted), George Miserlis, Paul F. Perry, and Philip McNiven. The Blanks' album, Riding the Wave, features guest appearances from Lawrence and members of the Scrubs cast. This band was put on the show when Sam Lloyd brought his friends/capella band to a rehearsal. Lloyd told Lawrence about his band, and Lawrence got the idea of putting them in the show.[citation needed]
The Worthless Peons also sing the theme song to the web series Scrubs: Interns, which features the new interns from season eight learning about the hospital in the same way that J.D. did in season one. Interns is aired on the ABC website.

Impact

Awards and nominations

Scrubs has received 17 Emmy nominations, in categories such as casting, cinematography, directing, editing, and writing. Its fourth season earned the series its first nomination for Outstanding Comedy Series. Zach Braff was also nominated that year for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. The series was nominated again the following year for Outstanding Comedy Series. At the 59th Primetime Emmy Awards, the episode "My Musical" was nominated for five awards in four categories: Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series (Will Mackenzie), Outstanding Music Direction (Jan Stevens) and Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics ("Everything Comes Down to Poo" and "Guy Love"); while sharing the award for Outstanding Sound Mixing for a Comedy or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation (Joe Foglia, Peter J. Nusbaum, and John W. Cook II) with Entourage.[54]
Braff was nominated for the Golden Globe award for Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical in 2005, 2006 and 2007, but lost to Jason Bateman of Arrested Development in 2005, to Steve Carell of The Office in 2006, and to Alec Baldwin of 30 Rock in 2007.[55]
The show won the 2002, 2008, and 2009 Humanitas Prize in the 30-minute category for the episodes "My Old Lady", "My Long Goodbye" and "My Last Words" respectively.[56] While the episodes "My Screw Up", "My Way Home" and "My Fallen Idol" received nominations.
The fifth season episode "My Way Home" earned the show a Peabody Award.[57]

Ratings

The table below indicates the ratings of Scrubs in the US. "Rank" refers to how well Scrubs rated compared to other television series which aired during primetime hours of the corresponding television season. The television season tends to begin in September, and ends during the May of the following year, which coincides with the completion of May sweeps. "Viewers" refers to the average number of viewers for all original episodes, broadcast during the television season in the series' regular timeslot. "Rank" is shown in relation to the total number of series airing on the then-six major English-language networks in a given season. The "season premiere" is the date that the first episode of the season aired, and the "season finale" is the date that the final episode of the season aired.
Network Season Episodes Timeslot (EST) Original Airing Rank Viewers
(in millions)
Season Premiere Season Finale TV Season
NBC 1 24 Tuesday 9:30 PM October 2, 2001 May 21, 2002 2001–02 #38 11.20[58]
2 22 Thursday 8:30 PM September 26, 2002 April 17, 2003 2002–03 #14 15.94[59]
3 22 Thursday 8:30 PM
Tuesday 9:30 PM
October 2, 2003 May 4, 2004 2003–04 #43 10.41[60]
4 25 Tuesday 9:30 PM
Tuesday 9:00 PM
August 31, 2004 May 10, 2005 2004–05 #88 6.90[61]
5 24 Tuesday 9:00 PM
Tuesday 9:30 PM
January 3, 2006 May 16, 2006 2005–06 #98 6.40[62]
6 22 Thursday 9:30 PM November 30, 2006 May 17, 2007 2006–07 #87 6.41[63]
7 11 Thursday 9:30 PM
Thursday 8:30 PM
October 25, 2007 May 8, 2008 2007–08 #115 6.38[64]
ABC 8 18 Tuesday 9:00 PM
Tuesday 9:30 PM
Wednesday 8:00 PM
January 6, 2009 May 6, 2009 2008–09 #123 5.61[65]
9 13 Tuesday 9:00 PM
Tuesday 9:30 PM
Friday 9:00 PM
Tuesday 8:00 PM
Wednesday 8:00 PM
December 1, 2009 March 17, 2010 2009–10 TBA 3.83 (to date)

References

  1. ^ "05/06/2009 - "My Finale" Season 8, Episode 818". Scrubs — Episode Recaps. ABC.com. http://abc.go.com/primetime/scrubs/index?pn=recap#t=147455&d=198444. Retrieved September 6, 2009. 
  2. ^ a b Weisman, Jon (January 24, 2006). "Genre jumping pays off". Variety. http://www.variety.com/awardcentral_vstory/VR1117936723.html. 
  3. ^ "His Story IV". Scrubs. NBC. February 1, 2007. No. 07, season 6.
  4. ^ Doris, Jonathan (May 31, 2004). "Jonathan Doris, M.D.: "My Residency Is A Rerun"". Brown University. http://www.brown.edu/Administration/News_Bureau/2003-04/03-138d.html. Retrieved November 22, 2008. 
  5. ^ Goldman, Eric (April 23, 2007). "Scrubs Season 7 Confirmed". IGN. http://uk.tv.ign.com/articles/782/782639p1.html. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  6. ^ a b Grossman, Ben (January 15, 2007). "Scrubs a Near Lock for Next Fall". Broadcasting & Cable. http://www.broadcastingcable.com/article/CA6407312.html. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  7. ^ Braff, Zach (March 30, 2007). "Blog. Cog. Snog. Frog. Oh my Gog!". Zach Braff's blog. http://www.zachbraff.com/comments.php?id=103. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  8. ^ a b Bill Lawrence in the audio commentary for My First Day
  9. ^ a b "the futon's guide to who's in and who's out". The Futon Critic. http://www.thefutoncritic.com/guide.aspx?id=in_and_out. Retrieved September 6, 2009. 
  10. ^ "NBC.com: "About Scrubs"". http://www.nbc.com/Scrubs/about/index.shtml. 
  11. ^ Show creator Bill Lawrence during audio commentary on Disk Three of "The Complete Second Season [of] Scrubs" DVD set.
  12. ^ a b c d Sepinwall, Alan (August 13, 2009). "Scrubs creator previews next season". http://www.nj.com/entertainment/tv/index.ssf/2009/08/scrubs_creator_previews_next_s.html. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  13. ^ a b Welsh, James (November 12, 2007). "Scrubs creator: 12th ep will not end series". Digital Spy. http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/ustv/a79658/scrubs-creator-12th-ep-will-not-end-series.html. Retrieved November 12, 2007. 
  14. ^ "NBC Expands Gladiators, Books Finale". The Futon Critic. January 21, 2008. http://www.futoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=7541. Retrieved January 23, 2008. 
  15. ^ a b c "Scrubs: NBC Sitcom May Not Get Series Finale". TV Series Finale. November 12, 2007. http://tvseriesfinale.com/articles/scrubs-nbc-sitcom-may-not-get-series-finale/. Retrieved January 3, 2008. 
  16. ^ "You'll Get Your Scrubs Finale". IGN. February 11, 2008. http://tv.ign.com/articles/851/851330p1.html. Retrieved February 13, 2008. 
  17. ^ Keller, Joel (April 28, 2008). "Scrubs to ABC: The worst-kept secret in Hollywood". TV Squad. http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/04/28/scrubs-to-abc-the-worst-kept-secret-in-hollywood/. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  18. ^ Schneider, Michael (February 28, 2008). "Scrubs skirmish". Variety. http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117981634.html?categoryId=14&cs=1&query=scrubs+. Retrieved February 29, 2008. 
  19. ^ a b Beck, Marilyn (March 10, 2008). ""Scrubs" Future No Longer in Question Says John C. McGinley". National Ledger. http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272619342.shtml. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  20. ^ "ER Coming Back, Scrubs Update". Coming Soon.net. March 12, 2009. http://www.comingsoon.net/news/tvnews.php?id=42884. Retrieved May 25, 2009. 
  21. ^ Ausiello, Michael (March 19, 2009). "Do you know what the deal is ...". TV Guide. http://www.tvguide.com/ask-ausiello/scrubs/080319-22. Retrieved May 25, 2009. 
  22. ^ Braff, Zach (April 29, 2008). "Making the Video". MySpace. http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=97669648&blogID=387269933. Retrieved May 2, 2008. 
  23. ^ Braff, Zach (May 7, 2008). "Exclusive Clip from the Fairy Tale Episode". MySpace. http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=97669648. Retrieved May 8, 2008. 
  24. ^ "ABC-TV will have only 2 new fall shows". Associated Press. MSNBC. May 14, 2008. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24594959. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  25. ^ "Fall 2008 Guide". TheFutonCritic.com. http://www.thefutoncritic.com/guide.aspx?id=fall_2008. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  26. ^ "ABC's 2008 fall lineup holds firm, with a dose of Scrubs added". LATimes.com. May 14, 2008. http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-upfronts14-2008may14,0,3549448.story. Retrieved May 19, 2008. 
  27. ^ "Scrubs Scrubs in on Tuesdays, Mars Lands on Wednesday". TV Guide. November 20, 2008. http://www.tvguide.com/News/Scrubs-Scrubs-Tuesdays-1000046.aspx. Retrieved 2009-05-25. 
  28. ^ "Scrubs Blog — My Welcome Back". Quick Stop Entertainment. May 4, 2008. http://www.quickstopentertainment.com/2008/05/04/scrubs-blog-my-welcome-back/. Retrieved May 11, 2008. 
  29. ^ "Cox joins Scrubs cast for three episode arc". Digitalspy. July 10, 2008. http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/ustv/a109429/cox-joins-scrubs-for-three-episode-arc.html. Retrieved July 10, 2008. 
  30. ^ "Scrubs To Premiere January 6, 2009 On ABC". ABC Medianet. November 21, 2008. http://www.abcmedianet.com/web/dnr/dispDNR.aspx?id=112108_01. Retrieved November 22, 2008. 
  31. ^ "Scrubs to debut webisodes; Lawrence talks network switch". The Live Feed. July 16, 2008. http://www.thrfeed.com/2008/07/scrubs-nbc.html. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  32. ^ "Will J.D. And Elliot Reunite for Scrubs' Final Season?". TV Guide. December 10, 2008. http://www.tvguide.com/News/Elliot-Reunite-Scrubs-1000714.aspx. Retrieved December 17, 2008. 
  33. ^ "Bill Lawrence Answers Questions at abc.com". abc.com. April 16, 2009. http://abc.go.com/primetime/scrubs/index?pn=mb&cat=147831&tid=492830&tsn=919. Retrieved April 20, 2009. 
  34. ^ Lyons, Margaret (April 28, 2009). "Scrubs, it's time to pull the plug". ew.com. http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/04/scrubs-its-time.html. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  35. ^ Harris, Will (May 6, 2009). "A Chat with Bill Lawrence: The "Scrubs" Exit Interview". Premium Hollywood. http://www.premiumhollywood.com/2009/05/06/a-chat-with-bill-lawrence-the-scrubs-exit-interview/. Retrieved May 25, 2009. 
  36. ^ a b Ausiello, Michael (June 19, 2009). "Scrubs makeover: School's in, hospital's out". http://www.flixster.com/news/2009/06/24/scrubs-makeover-schools-in-hospitals-out. Retrieved June 19, 2009. 
  37. ^ Keller, Joel (August 20, 2009). "Bill Lawrence: The TV Squad Interview (Scrubs 2.0 edition) - full transcript". TV Squad. http://www.tvsquad.com/2009/08/20/bill-lawrence-the-tv-squad-interview-scrubs-2-0-edition-ful/. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  38. ^ "Listings - SCRUBS on ABC". TheFutonCritic.com. 2009-12-01. http://thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?id=20091116abc06. Retrieved 2010-01-02. 
  39. ^ "Listings - SCRUBS on ABC". TheFutonCritic.com. 2009-12-01. http://thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?id=20091116abc07. Retrieved 2010-01-02. 
  40. ^ "Bill Lawrence: Judy Reyes won't appear in season nine, and other Scrubs news". TV Squad. 2009-10-16. http://www.tvsquad.com/2009/10/16/bill-lawrence-judy-reyes-wont-appear-in-season-nine-and-other/. Retrieved 2010-01-02. 
  41. ^ Ghosh, Korbi (July 14, 2009). "Scrubs: Eliza Coupe & her character officially promoted". zap2it. http://blog.zap2it.com/korbitv/2009/07/scrubs-eliza-coupe-her-character-officially-promoted.html. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  42. ^ Andreeva, Nellie (August 17, 2009). "Franco to play med student on revamped "Scrubs"". Reuters. http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSTRE57G19X20090817. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  43. ^ a b Ausiello, Michael (August 19, 2009). "Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on Grey's, House, NCIS, Bones, Gossip Girl, Supernatural, and more!". The Ausiello Files. http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/08/19/ask-ausiello-spoilers-on-greys-house-ncis-more/. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  44. ^ Ausiello, Michael (July 27, 2009). "Armchair Casting Director: Scrubs". The Ausiello Files. http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/07/armchair-casting-director-scrubs.html. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  45. ^ Ghosh, Korbi (June 22, 2009). "Scrubs to change its name & location next season, former TV star to be recruited". http://blog.zap2it.com/korbitv/2009/06/scrubs-to-change-its-name-location-next-season-former-tv-star-to-be-recruited.html. Retrieved August 14, 2009. 
  46. ^ "TV Delivery for BBC Worldwide". BBC Worldwide. http://www.bbc.co.uk/guidelines/dq/pdf/tv/tv_standards_worldwide.pdf.  section 1.5.2
  47. ^ a b "A new HD frontier for Scrubs" (PDF). http://www.highdef.com/magazine/archive/HighDef_2008_6NovDec.pdf. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  48. ^ Lawler, Richard (March 16, 2006). ""HDTV Scrubs on NBC?". Engadget. http://www.engadgethd.com/2006/05/16/hdtv-scrubs-on-nbc. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  49. ^ a b Diane, Kristine (May 8, 2006). "Cultivating a Cult Audience: An Interview with Scrubs Creator Bill Lawrence". Blogcritics. http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/05/08/094600.php. Retrieved February 11, 2007. 
  50. ^ Cohn, Angel (January 18, 2007). "Why You Must "Tune" In to Tonight's Scrubs Musical!". TV Guide. http://www.tvguide.com/News-Views/Interviews-Features/Article/default.aspx?posting=%7B0773509B-1832-4F94-9FA6-23A6F30929AD%7D. Retrieved February 11, 2007. 
  51. ^ "WAZ - Music Lounge - ABC.com". Abc.go.com. http://abc.go.com/music-lounge/artist/waz/325351. Retrieved 2010-01-02. 
  52. ^ Braff, Zach (February 19, 2006). "Joshua Radin=Good". Zach Braff's Garden State Blog. http://gardenstate.typepad.com/zach_braffs_garden_state_/2006/02/joshua_radingoo.html. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  53. ^ "Keren DeBerg's Biography". Last.fm. http://www.last.fm/music/Keren+DeBerg/+wiki. Retrieved August 13, 2009. 
  54. ^ "59th Prime Time Emmy Nominations" (PDF). http://cdn.emmys.tv/downloads/2007/59ptemmys_noms.pdf. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  55. ^ "2007 Nominations". Academy of Television Arts & Scienes. http://cdn.emmys.tv/awards/2007pt/59thnominations.php. Retrieved August 28, 2009. 
  56. ^ "The Humanitas Prize". humanitasprize.org. November 1, 2009. 
  57. ^ "Scrubs". Peabody Awards. http://www.peabody.uga.edu/winners/details.php?id=1468. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  58. ^ "How did your favorite show rate?". May 28, 2002. http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/2002/2002-05-28-year-end-chart.htm. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  59. ^ "Nielsen's TOP 156 Shows for 2002-03". May 20, 2003. http://groups.google.com/group/rec.arts.tv/browse_thread/thread/ee82c0640bcaeb06/82c78e0fe7710443?lnk=st&q=nielsen+top+156&rnum=1#82c78e0fe7710443. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
  60. ^ "I. T. R. S. Ranking eport 01 Thru 210 (Out Of 210 Programs) Daypart: Primetime Mon-Sun". June 2, 2004. http://www.abcmedianet.com/Web/progcal/dispDNR.aspx?id=060204_11. Retrieved November 1, 2009. 
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External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

.Scrubs is a comedy television series that premiered in 2001 on NBC.^ Scrubs television series review .

^ Scrubs is a medical comedy on ABC. The show originally ran on NBC for seven season but the network chose not to renew it for an eight.
  • Scrubs - TV Comedies - Blogged 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.blogged.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ These all line are taken from a web site, but rally medical comedy series like scrubs or house md are mind blowing.
  • How about Scrubs? - Fanbolt Forums 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.fanbolt.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.It was created by Bill Lawrence, who also co-created Spin City.^ It was created by Bill Lawrence , who also co-created Spin City .
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Bill Lawrence, the creator, was all for it.

^ It comes from “Scrubs” creator Bill Lawrence.
  • Courteney Cox | MakeUsHot.Com 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.makeushot.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Contents

Season 1

My First Day [1.01]

Dr. Cox: Why does this gomer always have to try to die on my lunch?
J.D.: That's a little insensitive.
Dr. Cox: The man's 92 years old, he has full dementia, he doesn't even know we're here. .He is inches from Carla's rack and he hasn't even flinched.^ He is inches from Carla's rack and he hasn't even flinched.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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Carla: Aw, that is so sweet.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, it is...
J.D.: What about his subconscious?
Dr. Cox: [leaning down and whispering] Eisenhower... was a sissy.
[Dr. .Cox recoils and puts up a guard.^ Cox puts up with Christopher Turk .
  • Perry Cox - Scrubs Wiki 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC scrubs.wikia.com [Source type: General]

^ I know for a fact that Cox isn't gonna put up with his "My daddy helped found this hospital so I can do whatever I want" bit for long at all.
  • Scrubs | TV shows and Sports talk | Cracked.com Forums 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.cracked.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ It takes a big man to put up with Courteney Cox Arquette's Monica these days .
  • Fametracker :: The Fame Audit :: Matthew Perry 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.fametracker.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Nothing happens]
Dr. Cox: I think, by the grace of God, we're gonna be okay.

.J.D.: I'm, uh, I'm waiting for someone.^ J.D. : I'm, uh, I'm waiting for someone.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.Janitor: Door's broke.^ She helped Janitor convince J.D. that he should admit that he jammed a door on his first day with a penny , but broke character halfway through and revealed that she was blackmailed into doing it.
  • Denise Mahoney - Scrubs Wiki 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC scrubs.wikia.com [Source type: General]

^ Or from the very first episode: Janitor: Doors broke..
  • Favourite Scrubs quotes - Scrubs - Fanpop 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.fanpop.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Fifth time or so it won't open.^ Fifth time or so it won't open.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.J.D.: Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.^ J.D. : Maybe there's a penny stuck in there.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.Janitor: Why a penny?^ Janitor: Why a penny?
  • Favourite Scrubs quotes - Scrubs - Fanpop 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.fanpop.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Janitor : Why a penny?
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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J.D.: I don't know...
.Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?^ Janitor : You were there.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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^ Janitor : Did you stick a penny in there?
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^ Janitor : When did you see my penis?
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.J.D.: No, no, I was just making small talk.^ J.D. : No, no, I was just making small talk.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.Janitor: If I find a penny in there...^ JD: No reason Janitor: Did you put a penny in there?
  • Favourite Scrubs quotes - Scrubs - Fanpop 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.fanpop.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Janitor : If I find a penny in there...
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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^ Janitor : Did you stick a penny in there?
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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.I'm taking you down.^ I'm taking you down.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
  • Scrubs (TV series) - Wikiquote 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
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^ If you find anything that is yours and you want it taken down, feel free to send me an email and I will take it down immediately.
  • Matthew Perry Fan – Your Ultimate Matthew Perry Source! 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC m-perry.org [Source type: General]

My Mentor [1.02]

.Turk: Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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^ Carla : I can get mad, Turk, if you give me a little help.
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^ Turk and Carla] And you two?
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.Carla: Well, you're a surgeon.^ Carla : Well, you're a surgeon.
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^ Carla, you're a wonderful nurse.

^ Cox : Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you're missing?
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.So, you've got the god-complex, the cockiness, the whole "married to the job" thing.^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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^ Cox : Thank God you've procreated.
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^ Cox: Thank god you've procreated.
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.You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it.^ You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it.
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^ I just hope you're happy and I miss you very much.

^ I thought that too If I recall correctly, you’re very close.

.You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch].^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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^ You need to do your will so I can get all your stuff.
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^ Cox:: You have no idea.
  • Perry Cox Quotes - Classic TV Quotes 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.classictvquotes.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no."^ Still not finding what you're looking for?

^ But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no."
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^ Tanner : I think you're being a little irrational.
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.So there's a bunch of reasons.^ So there's a bunch of reasons.
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.Pick your favorite.^ Pick your favorite.
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^ Pick the Cox cable package that includes your favorite movie channels, sports channels and more and start saving today.
  • Cox Perry Louisiana | Cable, High Speed Internet, Telephone | Cox Cable Perry LA 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.buycox.com [Source type: General]
  • Cox Perry Georgia | Cable, High Speed Internet, Telephone | Cox Cable Perry GA 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.buycox.com [Source type: General]

[walks off]
.J.D.: I'd go with the "god-complex"...but it's hard to choose, you know, they're all so good.^ Women are much more apt to be honest and understanding if they're not thinking they're going to be taken advantage of.
  • Mathew Perry Friends | Biography Photos News Interviews TV | 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.600.org [Source type: General]

^ While we do not currently offer maternity and children's scrubs, please let us know your interest in these items and we will contact you when they become available.
  • Discount Scrubs, Medical, Nurses Uniforms 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.accentscrubs.com [Source type: General]

^ Cox] And you know what, glare all you want, big dog, okay?
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.Will: This is a strange resort, man.^ Will : This is a strange resort, man.
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.I mean, the wheelchair service is great, but that suite I rented, there was another person in it.^ I mean, the wheelchair service is great, but that suite I rented, there was another person in it.
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.And for some reason the bellhop gave me an enema.^ And for some reason the bellhop gave me an enema.
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.J.D.: Yeah, he's new here.^ Carrie : yeah, I come here often but have never chatted Zeta77 : Hey, another new one ...
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ J.D. : Yeah, he's new here.
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My Best Friend's Mistake [1.03]

Elliot: Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: I'm hoping, for your sake, there's another Dr. Cox sitting right behind me.
.Elliot: I feel stupid, but, sending me to Kelso like that — well, I'm not sure, exactly, what you were trying to teach me.^ Elliot : I feel stupid, but, sending me to Kelso like that — well, I'm not sure, exactly, what you were trying to teach me.
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^ Kelso : Well, it's a very serious disease, and I don't like you!
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^ Cox feels a bit like the title character of the TV show “House” when he’s confronted with solving three mysteries: two are medical-related, and the third involves Elliot, who is angry at Kelso, but taking it out on Turk.

Dr. Cox: The value, and this is important, of leaving me alone.

Dr. Cox: I want you to spread the word, missy. I've... had... enough. .The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I'm going to hurt them.^ The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I'm going to hurt them.
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^ Look, I can't move up your ranking based on nothing, so for the next week, if I need something done, I'll come to you.
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^ Here's a look at movies coming out in 2009 .
  • Matthew Perry : Matthew Perry News and Photos - chicagotribune.com 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.baltimoresun.com [Source type: General]
  • Matthew Perry : Matthew Perry News and Photos - chicagotribune.com 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.chicagotribune.com [Source type: General]

.And you, you neurotic, one-woman freak-show, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist.^ Plus, if you are too busy to watch your favorite shows on live TV, choose the DVR (digital video recorder) service to record the shows you want and watch them when you can relax and enjoy them.
  • Cox Perry Louisiana | Cable, High Speed Internet, Telephone | Cox Cable Perry LA 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.buycox.com [Source type: General]
  • Cox Perry Georgia | Cable, High Speed Internet, Telephone | Cox Cable Perry GA 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.buycox.com [Source type: General]

^ The bottom line for this show is: some episodes are definitely funnier than others (so give it more than one viewing) and just try to give in to the moment; if you take it too seriously you will always be disappointed.
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^ To find out where you can watch TV One, check your city and provider.
  • TV One Online | Channel Listings 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.tvoneonline.com [Source type: News]

.Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.^ It's not just gonna be on medicine, it's going to be on everything.
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^ And you, you neurotic, one-woman freakshow, take your blah-blah to the blah-blah-ologist, because if you are so stupid to confront the chief of medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just gotta go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.
  • Scrubs/Perry Cox - The TV IV 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC tviv.org [Source type: General]

^ Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.
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.Elliot: So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles.^ You're killing my friend.
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^ Jordan : You're my brother!
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^ Elliot : So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles.
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Thanks, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: [confused] You're welcome.

My Old Lady [1.04]

J.D.: I'm... I'm... I'm the doctor.
Guy: What are you, sixteen?
.Woman: Oh, this is unacceptable.^ Woman : Oh, this is unacceptable.
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.Guy: What'd you have, like, coupons to this hospital, ma?^ 'Cause last I checked you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond , and you damn sure act like a black guy...
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^ Guy : What'd you have, like, coupons to this hospital, ma?
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^ I'm a huge fan like the rest of you guys.
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Woman: I should-we should have gone to my doctor.^ Woman : I should-we should have gone to my doctor.
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Mrs. Tanner: Now that's enough! .Now, sure, he's young, but he's probably a very good doctor.^ Kelso is just randomly hanging around the hospital now, talking about the “good old days” when doctors used to talk to their patients?

^ Guest_236 jenn : then he was just a young boy,that by just looking at him you could tell that he would become a very sexy good looking guy!
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ A Lazy bump but still a very good doctor.
  • Scrubs; Doctors and Laughs « Dreams Of Dan 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC dandreamz.wordpress.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Are you a good doctor?^ Are you a good doctor?
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.J.D.: It's kinda too soon to tell.^ J.D. : It's kinda too soon to tell.
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Mrs. Tanner: Sweetie, I'm seventy-four years old, I'm ready to go.
.J.D.: Yeah, but with dialysis, you could live another...^ Another is Gossip Girl, but have you seen Blake Lively lately?

eighty or ninety years!
Mrs. Tanner: I think you're being a little irrational.
J.D.: No I'm not.
Mrs. Tanner: Everybody dies sometime.
.J.D.: No they don't.^ They don't care what u are trying to do so there is no way to bait them wiith higher level tactics.
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^ J.D. : No they don't.
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^ Although they are not married (and have no desire to be married), it can't be argued that they don't love each other.
  • Perry Cox - Scrubs Wiki 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC scrubs.wikia.com [Source type: General]

My Two Dads [1.05]

.J.D.: Look, all I'm saying is, there's more to healing than what's in the books.^ But Of Two Minds is a lot longer than my own books because of all the stuff you added.
  • A Meeting of the Minds - Interview with Carol Matas& Perry Nodelman 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC carol.carolmatas.com [Source type: General]

^ J.D.: All the baby books say we'll be back to our normal sex life in about six weeks.
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^ FD: I think there are probably quite a few items that are more rare than their values currently indicate, so picking a single one would be hard.
  • Beatlology Magazine - Belmo's Beatles DisCovered 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC beatlology.com [Source type: General]

.I talk to my patients, I-I sing to them...^ I talk to my patients, I-I sing to them...
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ask them what their hobbies are and tell them ghost stories about an old sea captain.

Dr. Cox: What in the name of Are You There, God? .It's Me, Margaret were you thinking?^ It's Me, Margaret were you thinking?
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My Bad [1.06]

.J.D.: Your ex-wife.^ Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife...
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^ J.D. : Your ex-wife.
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She's the answer.
Dr. Cox: Uhhh... .Things that ruined my life.^ Things that ruined my life.
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^ J.D. : I'm doing this thing where I take a slice of someone else's wisdom and use it in my own life.
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.Things that took half my money.^ Things that took half my money.
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.Things with sharp edges!^ Things with sharp edges!
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J.D. [narration] I'll always remember that moment as the first "thank you" I got from Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you're missing?
.J.D. [narration] It felt good.^ J.D. [narration] It felt good.
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My Super Ego [1.07]

J.D.: So he has a cute butt. .Everyone has a cute butt.^ Everyone has a cute butt.
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I have a cute butt.
.Carla: You should bring it in sometime.^ Carla : You should bring it in sometime.
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.Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night?^ Elliot : You know I kinda had a date last night?
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^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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^ [Jordan and Elliot are in the cafeteria] Jordan : You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
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J.D.: Really?
.Elliot: Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder.^ Elliot : Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder.
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J.D.: ...You slut.

My Fifteen Minutes [1.08]

.J.D.: [as Robin in a daydream] Holy inferiority complex, Batman!^ J.D. : [as Robin in a daydream] Holy inferiority complex, Batman!
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.How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?^ How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
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^ I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets and no matter how much I try I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
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^ The girl who has low self esteem and has no real point of view except that she likes the girls better than the men, I completely disagree.
  • Perry - BravoTV Message Boards 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC boards.bravotv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Turk: [as Batman] It could be worse, Robin.^ Turk : [as Batman ] It could be worse, Robin.
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.You could be Alfred the butler.^ You could be Alfred the butler.
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.J.D.: [as Alfred] Damn you, sir.^ J.D. : [as Alfred ] Damn you, sir.
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Dr. Cox: [To intern review board] I would like to make special mention of one intern, here. John Dorian. .Smart kid, he's extremely competent, and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something I see 24 hours a day.^ Smart kid, he's extremely competent, and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something I see 24 hours a day.
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^ Chronic pain can affect a person 24 hours a day.
  • Hot Peppers, a Natural Alternative to COX Inhibitor Drugs? 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.medicalnewstoday.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

He cares. He cares too much. .But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose.^ But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose.
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^ It seems Speedy Gonzales got hold of my parcel, I got it yesterday morning already, don't you guys want to try run our country maybe?

^ Cox : Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again?
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My Day Off [1.09]

Dr. Kelso: Doctor Cox, did you get my memo reminding all senior staff that lab coats must be worn at all times?
Dr. Cox: You know I did get it there, Bob, and at first I just threw it away, but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture, so I made a replica of you out of straw and I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket, and then I invited all the kids in the neighborhood to come over to light it on fire and whack it with sticks.

.J.D.: I want you to know, if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.^ J.D. : I want you to know, if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.
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^ Do I want to know how you know that?
  • Courtney Cox Bikini Pictures - Fafarazzi 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.fafarazzi.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ As I’m sure those of you who write can understand, I have all of these ideas that I want to dive into, but I know my attention wanes with longer fics.
  • Perry Cox Chapter 6: A Rock and a Hard Place Called Hell, 1, a Scrubs fanfic - FanFiction.Net 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: General]

.Turk: I wanna be the one inside of you.^ Turk : I wanna be the one inside of you.
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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^ Carla : [to Turk] If we do hook up tonight, for once, you won't be the only one thinking about J.D. [ edit ] My Full Moon [8.13] .
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My Nickname [1.10]

.Janitor: Your new nickname is Scooter.^ Janitor : Your new nickname is Scooter.
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J.D.: Why?
.Janitor: It's short for scooter pie.^ Janitor : It's short for scooter pie.
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.[J.D. stares at him blankly.] I hate scooter pie.^ [J.D. stares at him blankly.
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^ I hate scooter pie.
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.J.D.: Oh, now I see.^ J.D. : Oh, now I see.
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.[voiceover] Ya big jerk.^ Ya big jerk.
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Dr. Cox: [To annoying patient] Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. .You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and badaow, it was gone forever—just like my patience is now.^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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^ I'd have thought that would have been picked up by now.
  • U.S Imports Discussion - TV Programmes - Digital Spy Forums 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.digitalspy.co.uk [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Patient : Yes, but now I feel like you can handle it.
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My Own Personal Jesus [1.11]

.J.D.: [voiceover] Oh, God, his ex-wife.^ J.D. : [voiceover] Oh, God, his ex-wife.
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.The tension actually hurts.^ The tension actually hurts.
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.You have to break it; say something, anything!^ You have to break it; say something, anything!
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^ I really look forward to hearing anything you say because I am convinced your heart is to serve and help people.
  • Google tightens the screws – again 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.perrymarshall.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ So, what do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other?
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[aloud] Banana hammock!
Dr. Cox: I'm betting your ability to thrive under pressure is what drove you to medicine.

.J.D.: [holding up mistletoe] Who put this up!?^ J.D. : [holding up mistletoe] Who put this up!?
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Janitor: I did. .I drove around the whole city before my 5 a.m.^ I drove around the whole city before my 5 a.m.
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shift just... looking for that—trying to add a little cheer.
J.D.: I was just trying to—
.Janitor: Oh, I know exactly what you're trying to do.^ She doesn't know you're joking.
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^ You know what you're doing?
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^ You’re lucky to know him.
  • Perry Cox Chapter 6: A Rock and a Hard Place Called Hell, 1, a Scrubs fanfic - FanFiction.Net 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.fanfiction.net [Source type: General]

.But you will not ruin my Christmas.^ But you will not ruin my Christmas.
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Not again. Not this year. [leaves]
.J.D.: But I've only worked here for three months.^ J.D. : But I've only worked here for three months.
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My Blind Date [1.12]

.Alex: Does this big metal contraption make me look fat?^ Alex : Does this big metal contraption make me look fat?
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^ Elliot: Oh, Dr. Cox, does this lipstick make me look like a clown?
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^ Elliot : [Upon applying red lipstick in preparation for a date] Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
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.J.D.: More chunky than fat.^ J.D. : More chunky than fat.
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.J.D.: [voiceover] I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really just about overcoming your fears.^ J.D. : [voiceover] I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really just about overcoming your fears.
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^ Richard Perry believes the credit cycle will take several years to resolve, and commercial real estate is just at its early stage of stress.
  • Richard Perry Stock Holdings, Investment Philosophies and News -- GuruFocus.com 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.gurufocus.com [Source type: General]

^ If you’re working on February 14th, instead of worrying about what to wear on a date with your sweetheart, you might want to think about what to wear on the job.

.Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it.^ You're fantastic with your kid.
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^ Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it.
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^ Because there is a time and a place for the truth.
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My Balancing Act [1.13]

.Turk: Okay, it's true, I have never said "I love you" to a woman before.^ Turk : It's because I love you.
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^ Turk : Okay, it's true, I have never said "I love you" to a woman before.
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^ Before you quit and jump into an unstable job market, learn to love the job you have.
  • COX News - news, press releases and podcasts - CBS MoneyWatch.com 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC investor.news.com [Source type: General]

.Todd: Well, then, how do you get them to sleep with you?^ Todd : Well, then, how do you get them to sleep with you?
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^ Getting more means you need to take care of how you launder your new styles as well.

^ How well do you know Chef Novelli?
  • Perry - BravoTV Message Boards 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC boards.bravotv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Elliot : Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse...^ Elliot : Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse...
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^ Carla : Elliot, I can't believe you would do that.
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^ Carla : Elliot, you can't test love.
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.Carla: I got one for you: stop calling it that.^ Carla : Stop it you!
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^ Carla : I got one for you: stop calling it that.
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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.Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy.^ Elliot : My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy.
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^ I moved in my bed trying to make him think I was waking up.
  • TMOTTMedia » Tyler Perry 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC tmottgogo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous.^ But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous.
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^ I'm so frigging excited, I can't stop thinking about it ciel : @guest_3594 just type the room live.com Guest_3594 : Hi!
  • MATTHEWPERRY.ONE-BREATH.ORG | First and biggest Matthew Perry Fansite 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC matthewperry.one-breath.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ To say the house is one dimensional is something that i cant understand, i think its just harder see them because the character of House is protective in general.
  • xkcd • View topic - Perry Cox or Gregory House? 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC forums3.xkcd.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.^ Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
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^ Elliot : Oh, so you've never dreamed about your wedding day.
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^ Every so often one of the cast members would admit they’ve been talking about it, but there was always one holdout, who no one would ever name.
  • Cele|bitchy » Matthew Perry 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.celebitchy.com [Source type: General]

.Carla: That poor shrink.^ Carla : That poor shrink.
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My Drug Buddy [1.14]

.J.D.: [about to sleep with his girlfriend for the first time] Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out?^ J.D. : [about to sleep with his girlfriend for the first time] Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out?
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^ Note: This guide and Bruce Spizer's Swan Song book came out about the same time and debuted at the 1st ever Las Vegas Beatles convention, July 1st, 2nd and 3rd 2007, held at the Mirage.
  • Amazon.com: Price Guide for the Beatles American Records (9780966264968): Perry Cox; Frank Daniels, Bruce Spizer: Books 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.amazon.com [Source type: General]

^ More on Scrubs' New Direction - June 22, 2009 What star is being sought out, which interns could be back and more.
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.It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?^ It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?
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^ If there's no strength, then all we're going to see in the show is people who screw up all the time and can't pick up after themselves.
  • Zach Braff Leaving Scrubs 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC popcritics.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Perry Cox is one of the few people that could get all of the best people to contribute all of the latest info and combine it all into a great Beatles price guide.
  • Amazon.com: Price Guide for the Beatles American Records (9780966264968): Perry Cox; Frank Daniels, Bruce Spizer: Books 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.amazon.com [Source type: General]


Dr. Cox: Lookit, Newbie: Just because you have a new girlfriend doesn't mean that the world has suddenly turned in to a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck, they do; Barbie, here, still can't decide what to do with those annoying bangs....
[Elliot pulls her hair out of her face]
Dr. Cox: [continuing] ...And addicts everywhere will still lie, cheat, and steal just to get a fix.
[He grabs J.D. by the shoulders]
Dr. Cox: [affecting a womanly voice] ...Now, you've got to wake up, sweetheart, you're gonna be late for school— Aw, you wet the bed! .Why can't I have a normal child without these problems?!^ Why can't I have a normal child without these problems?!
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[leaves]
.Elliot: My mom says they frame my face.^ Elliot : My mom says they frame my face.
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J.D.: They don't.

My Bed Banter & Beyond [1.15]

Dr. Cox: Why did I become a doctor? .Well, I guess it's because I've always wanted to help people.^ Well, I guess it's because I've always wanted to help people.
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^ Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you I was afraid earlier today.
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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.You know, I don't tell this story often, but once when I was a kid I found a bird with a broken wing, and I nursed it back to...^ Uh, don't you tell me!
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^ You know, I don't tell this story often, but once when I was a kid I found a bird with a broken wing, and I nursed it back to...
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^ That's the direction that Hollywood's been heading for quite some time now, so I don't know why you're surprised.
  • FARK.com: (4572914) Hugh Jackman says "Wolverine" sequel is in the works, Perry Cox still doesn't care 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.fark.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.[breaks up laughing] I became a doctor for the same four reasons everyone becomes a doctor: chicks, money, power, and chicks.^ I became a doctor for the same four reasons everyone becomes a doctor: chicks, money, power, and chicks.
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^ But when the same rumor has been floating around for four years, it’s hard to tell when/if it’s actually become legitimate.
  • Cele|bitchy » Matthew Perry 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC www.celebitchy.com [Source type: General]

^ He has done the same thing week after week and for some reason they don't put him up for the vote.
  • Perry - BravoTV Message Boards 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC boards.bravotv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


Dr. Cox: Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? .And then they finally do, and they're happy forever.^ And then they finally do, and they're happy forever.
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^ They're going to film two endings, one for series finale and one if they get picked up to continue with the newer cast members.
  • Zach Braff Leaving Scrubs 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC popcritics.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Which is why we’re happy to report that “My Finale” delivered the goods by meeting t...

Gimme a break. .Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic.^ Because I swear to God, I will mount you right now!
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^ You need to do your will so I can get all your stuff.
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^ Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic.
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I haven't. .Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken.^ Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken.
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^ If there’s something you love about it (or something you don’t), leave a comment here and let us know what you think.

.You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it.^ You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it.
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^ Please don't think you've come here because Ben needs me.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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.Bottom line is: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down.^ Bottom line is: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down.
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^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
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^ Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic.
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.One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time.^ One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time.
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^ Every relationship is messed up.
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^ If there's no strength, then all we're going to see in the show is people who screw up all the time and can't pick up after themselves.
  • Zach Braff Leaving Scrubs 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC popcritics.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.^ If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.
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^ Janitor : At least they're real.
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^ DListed says, “A real charmer that one.

My Heavy Meddle [1.16]

.Janitor: Girl problems?^ Janitor : Girl problems?
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.J.D.: How'd you know?^ I wish you read this thread Perry so ........you could let us know how you are, and how you appreciate the love we give you:) Peace, Love, n HUGS to all the Perry fans.
  • Perry - BravoTV Message Boards 2 February 2010 17:017 UTC boards.bravotv.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You know how we hate everyone?
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^ How well do you know Chef Novelli?
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.Janitor: Look like you got problems.^ Janitor : Look like you got problems.
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^ Turk : If you had no hair, you'd look like Danny Devito.
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^ Apparently to be in college now days, you have to look like you're twelve.
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.You're a girl.^ You're a girl.
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^ Ben : Jordan, you're a big girl.
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.Hence, girl problems.^ Hence, girl problems.
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J.D.: [To Dr. Cox just entering the hospital] Dr. Cox, I was wondering...
Dr. Cox: I'd say you're about a B-Cup.
.Janitor: At least they're real.^ Janitor : At least they're real.
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^ And they're really undercharging you!
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^ If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.
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.J.D.: [voiceover] Yup, a great place to heal.^ J.D. : [voiceover] Yup, a great place to heal.
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My Student [1.17]

.J.D.: [narration] It's hard trying to figure out how to reach somebody.^ J.D : [narration] ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.
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^ His family was trying to reach out to me to see if I would pay for his funeral.
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^ Did that mean you all had to sit down and figure out how broadly to play specific scenes?
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.I guess the only thing to do is to think of someone that I look up to and remember how they first got through to me.^ I guess the only thing to do is to think of someone that I look up to and remember how they first got through to me.
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^ J.D. : I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think.
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^ Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!
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[Dr. Cox coming around the corner, approaches J.D.]
Dr. Cox: Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were in fact, the wall on which you're leaning against. .Of course, then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall on which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truly is.^ And if you haven’t seen everything in the catalog you should still check it out; there are some ultra stylish and, of course, functional scrubs that aren’t to be missed.

.I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it.^ You don't know anything about politics.
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^ Don't worry about Grey's.
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^ I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it.
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.I'll tackle that one right upstairs [points to his head].^ I'll tackle that one right upstairs [points to his head] .
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In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work. .And right about now, even though you don't have your basket, oh it's just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley.^ You're oh-so-wrong about SCTV though.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 21 January 2010 13:013 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Get your copy right now.
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^ If you are serious about your car...

[J.D. walks away slowly]
Dr. Cox: Skip away, skip away, skip away [J.D. skips a little], skip, skip, skip to my lou, whoo hoo!

.Turk: Okay, so you're having a little trouble asking out Kristen.^ Turk : Okay, so you're having a little trouble asking out Kristen.
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^ Turk: It sounds like you're asking me out on a man date.
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^ Elliot: "Imagine your uterus is like a tube of toothpaste and you're trying to squeeze out all that minty fresh gel but instead of minty fresh gel, its a little black baby."
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.There's no shame in it.^ There's no shame in it.
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^ J.D. : [to Turk] Relax, Brown Bear, there's no shame in cry-maxing.
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Dr. Cox: Whoa there, Curly, I got no problem asking a woman out. Watch this. .[to a passing woman] Wanna have a drink sometime?^ Wanna have a drink sometime?
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Woman: No.
Dr. Cox: Good. See? I'm fine over here.

My Tuscaloosa Heart [1.18]

Carla: Hey Bambi, you know Mr. Simon made one of the night nurses cry?
J.D.: Which one?
Carla: Frank.
J.D.: Frank used to be a Navy SEAL.

.Turk: Sir, what happened to Bunny?^ Turk : Sir, what happened to Bunny?
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We gotta know.
Dr. Kelso: Well, actually, the music came before Bunny. .I learned to play the guitar growing up as a young rapscallion in Mississippi, but things didn't really take off until I moved to Memphis.^ I learned to play the guitar growing up as a young rapscallion in Mississippi, but things didn't really take off until I moved to Memphis.
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^ For work or play, these soft, brushed cotton nursing scrubs are so easy to wear you may never want to take them off!

^ Elliot and Sean are back together but starting things up again is really hard because Elliot has a problem finding time for him, because of her job.
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.Then, I met the Colonel, and the hits just kept on comin'! Unfortunately, it went to my head.^ Then, I met the Colonel, and the hits just kept on comin'!
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^ Unfortunately, it went to my head.
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.I gained a lot of weight, wore a white jumpsuit, and ate tranquilizers like they were trail mix.^ I gained a lot of weight, wore a white jumpsuit, and ate tranquilizers like they were trail mix.
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Elliot: Sir...
Dr. Kelso: Then in 1977 I died on the toilet... or did I?
.Turk: You never played the guitar, did you?^ I? Turk : You never played the guitar, did you?
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^ For work or play, these soft, brushed cotton nursing scrubs are so easy to wear you may never want to take them off!

^ Elliot : [To Turk] You know, I never answered your question earlier about whether you and I will always be doctors: you will.
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Dr. Kelso: Son, that crap is for hippies! .Now for God's sake get back to work!^ Now for God's sake get back to work!
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[in an Elvis Presley-like voice] Thank ya, thank ya very much.

My Old Man [1.19]

[J.D. and Dr. Cox are in a patient's room talking. J.D. has just been told that he has to give a lecture for a resident.]
.J.D.: That sucks, I totally wanted to spend some time with my dad tomorrow.^ J.D. : That sucks, I totally wanted to spend some time with my dad tomorrow.
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^ I mean, I am totally gay and the only time I've been around Grey's Anatomy is when I visit my mom (She's super into it) and I always pass out from boredom.
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^ It's the best way to get to know a person and decide if you want to spend time with that person.
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Dr. Cox: Then take him.
J.D.: What do you mean?
Dr. Cox: Secure a vehicle of some kind, car, balloon, tricycle. .And transport your father from wherever he is to where you're going to be.^ You're fantastic with your kid.
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^ And transport your father from wherever he is to where you're going to be.
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^ It's strictly the kind of space-filling bullshit you tell your boss at a meeting to make him think you're working harder than you are.
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.J.D.: I don't think you really get my dad.^ J.D. : I don't think you really get my dad.
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^ Cox : Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again?
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^ Cox : Do you...do you think that my son will like me?
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.He's not really interested in my work.^ He's not really interested in my work.
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.He's more like a buddy.^ He's more like a buddy.
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Dr. Cox: Okaaay, that was my mistake. .Here I engaged you, and gave you the impression that I actually cared, which is just so wrong, God!^ Here I engaged you, and gave you the impression that I actually cared, which is just so wrong, God!
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^ And if you are bothered about the previously aired episodes, then you may just click here to watch Scrubs episodes online .
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^ How I met your Mother Download Download, discounts, offers are waiting for you… Just click here to get the instant access to How I met your mother episodes!!
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.J.D.: The thing is I don't really need a buddy.^ Hey buddies, you don’t need to grieve for it.
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^ J.D. : The thing is I don't really need a buddy.
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What I need is a father.
Dr. Cox: Well, you definitely need something. .Um, maybe a backbone.^ Um, maybe a backbone.
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.Or perhaps some testicles.^ Or perhaps some testicles.
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.At the very least, a pillow that you can carry around the hospital and cry your sad eyes out.^ At the very least, a pillow that you can carry around the hospital and cry your sad eyes out.
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^ If you're going to kill yourself — lookin' at you, sad eyes — do it off-campus, because it is a butt-load of paperwork.
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^ Jordan : Bob, so help me God, you fix this or I will grab you by your muffin top and stomp on your withering man-parts until your eyes pop out!
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.J.D.: [To patient, who has been listening to the conversation] I have testicles.^ J.D. : [To patient, who has been listening to the conversation] I have testicles.
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He's a kidder.

[J.D. and his dad talking]
Mr. Dorian: Pull my finger.
J.D.: Dad I really don't want to—
Mr. Dorian: Pull my finger, see what happens.
[J.D. pulls his finger]
Mr. Dorian: I pooed a little.

My Way or the Highway [1.20]

.Nurse: Oh, it's just coffee.^ Nurse: Oh, it's just coffee.
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Dr. Cox: Oh, no, no. .This is liquid crack; this is a mug full of sunshine; my dear, for me, this is like sex.^ This is liquid crack; this is a mug full of sunshine; my dear, for me, this is like sex.
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Nurse: Oh! .Is that why you always finish so quickly?^ Is that why you always finish so quickly?
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^ J.D : [narration] ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.
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Dr. Cox: [as Nurse walks away] Mmmm, and sassy too. .If you can cook a steak, I'd eat it right off your bottom!^ If you can cook a steak, I'd eat it right off your bottom!
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^ Whether you choose tops or bottoms, denim scrubs are the right choice for those medical professionals with an attitude.

^ Finding what is right for you and your needs will be easy to find once you have a general idea of the scrubs fashion, style, and cost.


.Carla: He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.^ Carla: He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.
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^ Denise : You know, it's ironic that cancer starts with "can", because at this stage there's nothing we can do about it!
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^ Carla: There is no Shangri-La, you know.
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My Sacrificial Clam [1.21]

Dr. Cox: The key to my exercise program is this one simple truth: I hate my body. .You understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.^ What're you looking at, Beardface?
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^ You understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
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^ Elliot : So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles.
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.Turk: You should give speeches to teenage girls.^ Turk : You should give speeches to teenage girls.
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^ Turk : I'm not giving you a hug.
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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Dr. Cox: Do you know any women who hate themselves enough to date me?

My Occurrence [1.22]

.Ben: Jordan, you're a big girl.^ As he says about Jordan "You find a girl exactly like your mother, then you remember that you hate your mother".
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.When you got divorced you put people in the awkward position of having to choose between you and Perry.^ When you got divorced you put people in the awkward position of having to choose between you and Perry.
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^ Artitude @ April 1, 2008 - 10:16 AM) If Perry were to choose a girlfriend amongst the competing models, who do you think would be the absolute worst candidate?
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^ [Jordan and Elliot are in the cafeteria] Jordan : You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
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.Jordan: You're my brother!^ You're killing my friend.
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^ Jordan : You're my brother!
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^ I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of Residency Director considering my disdain for, well...
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.Ben: Well, admittedly that made it hard—ooh, here's a good one.^ Ben : Well, admittedly that made it hard—ooh, here's a good one.
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[holds up a snapshot he just took of Jordan] "Me so cranky! Rrr."

[Dr. Cox is examining Ben, who has a nail impaled through his hand and stuck in a board. JD walks in.]
.J.D.: What's that, like your "lucky board" or something?^ J.D. : What's that, like your "lucky board" or something?
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Ben: What's that? .Oh, no, it's a nail gun accident.^ Oh, no, it's a nail gun accident.
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[Shows J.D. the bottom, which is covered in blood]
.J.D.: Oh my God, that's disgusting.^ [Shows J.D. the bottom, which is covered in blood] J.D. : Oh my God, that's disgusting.
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^ Ted : Oh my God, you cut off someone's nose?!
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^ Elliot : Oh, my God.
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Dr. Cox: I already dosed him with morphine and the X-ray says the nail went straight through, so it's not that big a d... oh, dear .God, she's getting woozy.^ God, she's getting woozy.
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.Quickly, show her the bloody side.^ Quickly, show her the bloody side.
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Ben: Look at that. Oh, it's a nail. .You wanna touch it?^ You wanna touch it?
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Touch the nail. .Touch my nail!^ Touch my nail!
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Touch it! LICK THE TIP OF MY NAIL!
[J.D. faints]

My Hero [1.23]

.J.D.: I think you won't face Ben because you're afraid.^ Cox : I think you're right.
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^ Do I think you're black?
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^ J.D. : I think you won't face Ben because you're afraid.
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Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. .Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you I was afraid earlier today.^ Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you I was afraid earlier today.
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^ Well, you know what?
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^ D'you know what they are mostly?
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.So please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate something I've already said.^ So please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate something I've already said.
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^ Uh, don't you tell me!
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^ I already know the things I've said.
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.I already know the things I've said.^ I already know the things I've said.
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^ So please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate something I've already said.
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^ Cox : Son, that's the first honest thing you've ever said to me.
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In fact... .I'm the one who said them.^ I'm the one who said them.
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Dr. Cox: Oh, and newbie? .Please don't think you've come here because Ben needs me.^ So please don't tell me you've come here to reiterate something I've already said.
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^ Please don't think you've come here because Ben needs me.
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^ J.D. : I think you won't face Ben because you're afraid.
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.You're here because you're scared to death that you may have to rely on yourself for the first time ever.^ You're here because you're scared to death that you may have to rely on yourself for the first time ever.
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^ If you're going to kill yourself — lookin' at you, sad eyes — do it off-campus, because it is a butt-load of paperwork.
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^ First you take a little nipper for yourself...
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.And that...that is the saddest thing of all.^ And that...that is the saddest thing of all.
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My Last Day [1.24]

Dr. Cox: Don't ever be afraid to come to me about this kinda stuff, newbie. .The simple fact that you seem to even give a crap is why took an interest in you to begin with.^ The simple fact that you seem to even give a crap is why took an interest in you to begin with.
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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^ Kelso : In fact, if you get bored, why don't you just hijack an ice cream truck and drive it through our brand new pathology lab?
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.It's why I trust you as a doctor; hell, it's why I trust you as a person.^ It's why I trust you as a doctor; hell, it's why I trust you as a person.
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J.D.: ...Are you dying?

.Jordan: Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.^ Jordan : Sex is for two things: making babies and revenge.
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Season 2

My Overkill [2.01]

[J.D. wakes up next to Turk]
J.D.: This is unacceptable. .You said we were gonna sleep head to foot.^ You said we were gonna sleep head to foot.
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.Turk: Dude, either way the naughty bits are still in the middle.^ Turk : Dude, either way the naughty bits are still in the middle.
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.J.D.: Yeah, but with the head to foot alignment there's no way for them to [makes hand gesture] lock in.^ J.D. : Yeah, but with the head to foot alignment there's no way for them to [makes hand gesture] lock in.
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^ There's no way around it: You're a beautiful man.
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^ KR Notes: The above is an error in the index, there is no James M. listed as head of household on p.
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.Turk: Dude, could you be more homophobic?^ Turk : Dude, could you be more homophobic?
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^ Elliot, I love you more than Turk.
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^ Carla : J.D., how could you do this to Turk?
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J.D.: I'm not.
[Turk whisks off duvet. J.D. is already dressed.]
J.D.: Ready to go?

.The Todd: Ladies, now that the Todd is a resident, he wants to clear things up so you don't have to wonder any more.^ The Todd : Ladies, now that the Todd is a resident, he wants to clear things up so you don't have to wonder any more.
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^ I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of Residency Director considering my disdain for, well...
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^ Cox : Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again?
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[pointing to nurses] Yes, yes, no, yes, yes, no, and yes if I've been drinking.
.Nurse Roberts: Come here, Wonder Bread.^ Nurse Roberts : Come here, Wonder Bread.
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.The Todd: What's up, doll?^ The Todd : What's up, doll?
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Nurse Roberts: If you ever get this close again, I will end you.
.The Todd: I'm changing you to a yes because you're fiesty!^ The Todd : I'm changing you to a yes because you're fiesty!
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^ If you're going to kill yourself — lookin' at you, sad eyes — do it off-campus, because it is a butt-load of paperwork.
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^ You're here because you're scared to death that you may have to rely on yourself for the first time ever.
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My Nightingale [2.02]

.Carla: Look, you've all been on call before.^ Carla : I got one for you: stop calling it that.
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^ Carla : Look, you've all been on call before.
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^ For the last 15 years you've been my role model, but most of all you've been my friend.
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.So you don't have a safety net!^ So you don't have a safety net!
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.Most of the time you don't need one anyway, right?^ Most of the time you don't need one anyway, right?
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^ Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic.
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^ J.D. : We all knew that Dr. Cox was right because the truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.
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[silence]
Carla: Fine. .I'll just go tell your patients they're on their own because you're all too scared.^ You're fantastic with your kid.
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^ And transport your father from wherever he is to where you're going to be.
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^ But, trust me, when you do have your own kid, you'll feel it.
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.J.D.: No, Carla, I'm a doctor...^ J.D. : No, Carla, I'm a doctor...
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I should tell them.
.Elliot: [grabs some charts] C'mon peeps - let's go kick some sick patient ass!^ Elliot : [grabs some charts] C'mon peeps - let's go kick some sick patient ass!
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[walks off, upbeat]
.J.D.: [takes a chart] That, my friends, is one nerdy honky!^ J.D. : [takes a chart] That, my friends, is one nerdy honky!
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^ Scrubs: "My Friend With Money" Review - January 12, 2007 Scrubs proves once again why it is one of the best comedies on TV. .
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[walks away]
Turk: That's two.

My Case Study [2.03]

My Big Mouth [2.04]

.Janitor: [eating soup with a fork] Fork!^ Janitor : [eating soup with a fork] Fork!
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Me can't eat soup! Rawrr!
.J.D.: I don't think you're stupid; your job requires a lot of know-how.^ I wish you read this thread Perry so ........you could let us know how you are, and how you appreciate the love we give you:) Peace, Love, n HUGS to all the Perry fans.
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^ How well do you know Chef Novelli?
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^ Whatever you do, don’t buy your scrubs too tight; they are made to fit loosely, so you can move freely in them.

.I mean, it's not like you're ladling out sloppy joes.^ I mean, it's not like you're ladling out sloppy joes.
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^ You're, like, the best teacher ever!
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^ But as for me, I know you think it was a big victory figuring out what was wrong with Robyn, but those moments are kind of like eating a piece of chocolate.
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[notices the cafeteria worker in front of him holding a ladle of sloppy joe]
.J.D.: You know, my-my uncle was a joer.^ J.D. : You know, my-my uncle was a joer.
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^ J.D. : Hey, Dr. Cox, I thought you ought to know that I did everything for my patient that you did for yours.
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^ Turk : My man, I know that wasn't you.
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.Elliot: [Talking to patient] It's like being blind in one eye, except you'll be blind in both.^ Elliot : [Talking to patient] It's like being blind in one eye, except you'll be blind in both.
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^ Elliot : You don't like Cox?
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^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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My New Coat [2.05]

.Ted: Unfortunately, you've, uh, put us in somewhat of a legal bind.^ Ted : Unfortunately, you've, uh, put us in somewhat of a legal bind.
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.Kelso: Way to go, Ted.^ Kelso : Way to go, Ted.
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My God, man, you couldn't scare a child.
.Ted: Wh-who would want to?^ Ted : Wh-who would want to?
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J.D.: A patient's blaming me for losing his sense of smell.
.Ted: Oh my God, you cut off someone's nose?!^ Ted : Oh my God, you cut off someone's nose?!
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^ Elliot : Oh, my God.
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^ Elliot : Oh my God!
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Where is it? Do you have it on you? .You're disgusting.^ You're disgusting.
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.J.D.: Ted, I don't have the nose.^ J.D. : Ted, I don't have the nose.
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Maybe you should calm down—
Ted: MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALM DOWN!!

My Big Brother [2.06]

.Carla: You don't want to get on Bambi's bad side, and suffer the wrath of Bambi!^ Carla : You don't want to get on Bambi's bad side, and suffer the wrath of Bambi!
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^ Cox : Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again?
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^ The Todd : Ladies, now that the Todd is a resident, he wants to clear things up so you don't have to wonder any more.
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.Dan: So, you slept with my little brother.^ Jordan : You're my brother!
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^ Dan : So, you slept with my little brother.
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^ Scrubs Flashback: "My Big Brother" Review - July 10, 2008 Dan makes his first appearance.
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.If he tries hard, but there's room for improvement, take a sip.^ If he tries hard, but there's room for improvement, take a sip.
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[Elliot takes a sip]
J.D.: Elliot!
Elliot: What? I was thirsty.
J.D.: Well, ok, ask me if she could be better. [drains glass] [innocently] What? Thirsty!
.Elliot: [aside to Dan] I wasn't thirsty.^ Elliot : [aside to Dan] I wasn't thirsty.
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My First Step [2.07]

.Julie Keaton: Plomox is the most effective antiarrhythmic drug on the market right now, and it has minimal side effects — only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage.^ Julie Keaton : Plomox is the most effective antiarrhythmic drug on the market right now, and it has minimal side effects — only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage.
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^ Right now not only there has been a big change in Judy’s shape, but also a great change in the direction Scrubs is going.
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Dr. Cox: [smiling] I'm gettin' two out of three just from the conversation!

.Julie Keaton: So, this is romantic...^ Julie Keaton : So, this is romantic...
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the two of us, full moon...
Dr. Cox: Guy pissing on a dumpster...

My Fruit Cups [2.08]

Dr. Cox: So my girlfriend serviced most of the staff? .I'm proud of her commitment to medicine.^ I'm proud of her commitment to medicine.
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.Carla: It's not like you haven't had sex with other people.^ Carla : It's not like you haven't had sex with other people.
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^ Carla : And you could spend the other $99,999,000 on therapy.
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^ "Sleep" by Keren DeBerg "Get Up I Fell Like Being A Sex Machine" by James Brown "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds .
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.Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife...^ Your ex-wife, that med student, your ex-wife, the cute nurse from radiology, your ex-wife...
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Dr. Cox: Would you get off my ex-wife?
Carla: I will if you will.
Dr. Cox: [laughs] Dammit, now I'm too gosh-darned proud of you to be mad!

.J.D.: [to the Janitor after he asks him if he's been stealing pudding and toilet paper] I hate pudding, and I don't use toilet paper...^ J.D. : [to the Janitor after he asks him if he's been stealing pudding and toilet paper] I hate pudding, and I don't use toilet paper...
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.[pauses] I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.^ I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
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^ One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time.
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^ J.D. : We all knew that Dr. Cox was right because the truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.
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Janitor: Bidet?
.J.D.: Bidet to you, sir.^ J.D. : Bidet to you, sir.
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My Lucky Day [2.09]

J.D.: Hey, Dr. Cox, I thought you ought to know that I did everything for my patient that you did for yours.
Dr. Cox: Oh, my God, I care so little, I almost passed out.
Dr. Kelso: Hey, Ace, your TTP patient coded. I pronounced him.
J.D.: He died?
Dr. Kelso: I hope so, otherwise that autopsy is going to be a bitch.

.Elliot: [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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^ You know how we hate everyone?
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^ You know what your problem is, Bambi?
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.Well, you know what?^ Well, you know what?
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^ Cox : Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you're missing?
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^ Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you I was afraid earlier today.
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.If your job isn't challenging, you should get another career.^ If your job isn't challenging, you should get another career.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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^ J.D. : I don't think you're stupid; your job requires a lot of know-how.
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.If you have trouble with relationships, maybe it's because you have problems with commitment.^ If you have trouble with relationships, maybe it's because you have problems with commitment.
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^ Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is.
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.I know, because I'm the same way; I blame my parents for spoiling me, I blame this place for taking up all my time...^ So, the episode was a good one as three or four storylines started at the same way and end up on common grounds.
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.Well, no more.^ Well, no more.
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.I'm going to grow up and start holding myself accountable.^ I'm going to grow up and start holding myself accountable.
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.Patient: Good for you.^ Patient : Good for you.
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.Elliot: You're still suing me, aren't you?^ Elliot : You're still suing me, aren't you?
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^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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^ Elliot : So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles.
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.Patient: Yes, but now I feel like you can handle it.^ Patient : Yes, but now I feel like you can handle it.
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^ Elliot : [Talking to patient] It's like being blind in one eye, except you'll be blind in both.
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^ Elliot : I feel stupid, but, sending me to Kelso like that — well, I'm not sure, exactly, what you were trying to teach me.
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My Monster [2.10]

Dr. Cox: You know, Jordan, I have to tell you: despite how crazy-hormonal you are, there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost spiritual.
Jordan: Really?
Dr. Cox: Honestly you—
.Jordan: Mm-hmm.^ Cox : Honestly you— Jordan : Mm-hmm.
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Dr. Cox: —you have never looked so beautiful.
.Jordan: It's the giant boobs, isn't it.^ Jordan : It's the giant boobs, isn't it.
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Dr. Cox: Well, have you seen them lately?
.J.D.: I've seen bigger.^ J.D. : I've seen bigger.
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.[To Nurse Roberts] Not on you.^ [To Nurse Roberts] Not on you.
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^ Nurse Roberts : If you ever get this close again, I will end you.
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^ Nurse Roberts : You'll be okay, Marshmallow.
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Although, kudos!
.Nurse Roberts: Mm-hmm!^ Nurse Roberts : Mm-hmm!
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Dr. Kelso: Dr. Reid, this is not "Bring Your Problems To Work Day", this is just "Work Day".

My Sex Buddy [2.11]

.J.D.: [Thinking] And then she said something every man is dying to hear...^ J.D. : [Thinking] And then she said something every man is dying to hear...
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.Elliot : We can be sex buddies...^ Elliot : We can be sex buddies...
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.J.D. : [hears fanfare] I mean...^ J.D. : [hears fanfare] I mean...
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if you want.

Dr. Cox: Oh, and by the way, Barbie: if word were to get around that Uncle Cox was doling out the feel-goods... .[grins] I'll make you pay.^ I'll make you pay.
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.You have no idea.^ You have no idea.
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^ Cox : You have no idea.
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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Huge.

My New Old Friend [2.12]

J.D: Hey, you're black, right?
.Turk: Here we go.^ Turk : Here we go.
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.J.D: I hate that stereotype that black people all yell at movie screens, y'know?^ J.D : I hate that stereotype that black people all yell at movie screens, y'know?
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.Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl!^ Elliot : You don't like Cox?
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^ Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl!
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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He behind the do'!" Y'know? It's like... it's offensive.
.Turk: You wish you were allowed to yell at the screen, don't ya?^ Turk : You wish you were allowed to yell at the screen, don't ya?
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^ Like you go to see a horror flick and you'd be yelling like, "Don't go in there, girl!
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J.D: Why does she go in there?! I mean, he's behind the do'!

.J.D. [narration]: There are a few things I've always believed in.^ J.D. [narration] : There are a few things I've always believed in.
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.Flowers are good for any occasion.^ Flowers are good for any occasion.
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.And nothing is more important than making time for an old friend, especially if the old girl has seen better days.^ And nothing is more important than making time for an old friend, especially if the old girl has seen better days.
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^ There have been reports of more than one person of this name apearing at a same time.
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^ Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.
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.Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.^ But then I realized that you just have to pretend that the needle is your friend.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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^ Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over some quasi-offensive endearment, then you've just got to go ahead and replace the captain of your brainship, because he's drunk at the wheel.
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My Philosophy [2.13]

.Turk: Tonight, I'm gonna make her a nice dinner, then I'm gonna put the ring in her champagne glass.^ Turk : Tonight, I'm gonna make her a nice dinner, then I'm gonna put the ring in her champagne glass.
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.J.D.: You might as well put it in her cham-lame glass.^ J.D. : You might as well put it in her cham-lame glass.
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^ Kelso : You might want to knock, he's in an imaginary glass bubble.
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Turk: Okay, Mr. Know-It-All, what would you do?
.J.D.: Okay, first you gotta get, like, 50 candles, right?^ J.D. : Okay, first you gotta get, like, 50 candles, right?
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^ So right about now you gotta be asking yourself: do you think you're that good?
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.Turk: Mm-hmm?^ Turk : Mm-hmm?
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.J.D.: You spread 'em all over the room with some rose petals....^ Here, all this time I thought that you were some kind of parasitic creature that lived shoulder-deep inside Big Bob's colon.
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^ Do you ever have to pinch yourself to make sure it's not all some crazy dream?
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^ J.D. : You spread 'em all over the room with some rose petals....
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.Turk: That's right, because the roses are beautiful, and they make the room smell amazing.^ Turk : That's right, because the roses are beautiful, and they make the room smell amazing.
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^ J.D. : We all knew that Dr. Cox was right because the truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.
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^ Turk : He can't possibly make this my fault, right?
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.J.D.: Like a meadow in springtime.^ J.D. : Like a meadow in springtime.
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Turk: Mmm.
[Carla comes in]
.Carla: What are you guys talking about?^ [Carla comes in] Carla : What are you guys talking about?
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^ Carla : I could give you a whole list of things that suck about being pregnant.
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^ Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know.
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.Turk: Nothing; guy talk!^ Turk : Nothing; guy talk!
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.J.D.: Yeah, bitches and hoes.^ J.D. : Yeah, bitches and hoes.
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My Brother, My Keeper [2.14]

His Story [2.15]

Dr. Kelso: Perry! Hi. .How are you, et cetera.^ How are you, et cetera.
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.The wife and I just took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.^ The wife and I just took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.
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^ Dancer : [about his physical therapist] Why don't you just ask her out?
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^ Turk : [to Mrs. Miller] Whoa, whoa, I just took out his appendix.
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Dr. Cox: Bob, the day I willingly cradle your dusty old twig and berries and get a whiff of your chronic halitosis while you turn your head and cough, is the day you can look for me up on the roof singing "I Believe I Can Fly."
Dr. Kelso: Great stuff. .See you about two-ish.^ See you about two-ish.
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^ Carla : [about Dr. Cox, in his presence] Elliot, do you see the problem with trying to appeal to its human side?
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^ Two, I get to say whatever I want about you.
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.Elliot: I'm dating a Murse!^ Elliot : I'm dating a Murse!
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.J.D.: Well it's better than dating a mecretary or a manicurist...^ J.D. : Well it's better than dating a mecretary or a manicurist...
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oh wait, that works.

My Karma [2.16]

Jordan: I'm going home.
Dr. Cox: No, no, you're not.
Jordan: Bye-bye!
Dr. Cox: Jordan, your water just broke.
.Jordan: This kid's annoying me already.^ Jordan : This kid's annoying me already.
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Dr. Cox: The thing is, this time, I am killing myself for this woman and I am still gettin my ass handed to me.
.Carla: There is no Shangri-La, you know.^ Carla: There is no Shangri-La, you know.
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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^ Denise : You know, it's ironic that cancer starts with "can", because at this stage there's nothing we can do about it!
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.Every relationship is messed up.^ Every relationship is messed up.
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^ One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time.
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.What makes it perfect is if you still wanna be there when things really suck.^ What makes it perfect is if you still wanna be there when things really suck.
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^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
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^ But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no."
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My Own Private Practice Guy [2.17]

[J.D. walks up to the Janitor, dragging Elliot by her arm]
.J.D.: I want you to tell her the truth, dammit, alright?^ Cox : Gandhi, did you tell Jordan what I said about her wanting to cuddle?
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^ [J.D. walks up to the Janitor, dragging Elliot by her arm] J.D. : I want you to tell her the truth, dammit, alright?
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.Tell her that you're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being.^ Tell her that you're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being.
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^ I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
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^ Elliot : So, you're telling me I have to pick my battles.
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[A small boy is standing next to the Janitor]
J.D.: Who's that?
.Janitor: That's my son.^ Janitor : That's my son.
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.Elliot: Oh my God, J.D.!^ Cox : Oh, my God, I care so little, I almost passed out.
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^ Elliot : Oh, my God.
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^ [Shows J.D. the bottom, which is covered in blood] J.D. : Oh my God, that's disgusting.
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[leaves]
J.D.: I-I-I'm sorry. .I-I didn't even see him there...^ I-I didn't even see him there...
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Janitor: No. I'm glad he heard it. .I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.^ I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.
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^ J.D. : I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think.
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J.D.: ...I'm so sorry. [walks away ashamed]
.Janitor: [to kid] Who the hell are you?^ Janitor : [to kid] Who the hell are you?
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^ Then at the end, Mr. Shaman the emcee said "No, hell is for everyone who heard you sing that song."
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...Go on, beat it. Scram! ...Alright, stick around.

.The Todd: Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head.^ The Todd : Oh, Miss Pacman, I would sex that bow right off your head.
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^ Carla : Oh, he got off your leash?
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^ If you can cook a steak, I'd eat it right off your bottom!
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.Oh, eat those dots, you naughty girl!^ Oh, eat those dots, you naughty girl!
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^ But as for me, I know you think it was a big victory figuring out what was wrong with Robyn, but those moments are kind of like eating a piece of chocolate.
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My T.C.W. [2.18]

.J.D.: [voiceover] I don't think people are meant to be by themselves.^ J.D. : [voiceover] I don't think people are meant to be by themselves.
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.That's why if you actually find someone you care about, it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't let go all the way.^ That's why if you actually find someone you care about, it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't let go all the way.
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^ Cox : You know, as a doctor, I rarely root for the disease, but with you I find myself cheering, "Go hypercalcemia with underlying MEN syndrome.
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^ So, what do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other?
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.Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.^ Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.
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^ Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it.
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^ I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets and no matter how much I try I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
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J.D.: [to Elliot, Dr. Cox, Carla, and Turk] Shut up, shut up, shut up, and shut up, okay?! .Who are you people to give me advice about anything?!^ Who are you people to give me advice about anything?!
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^ Cox : Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again?
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^ Directories & Member Lists - Directories and member lists are typically compilations of information about people who belonged to various associations and groups or lived within city boundaries.
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.All you do is just bitch about your relationships all day long!^ We'll use what you enter to try and find more about your family in the world's largest online collection of historical records and family trees.
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^ Here, you can learn more about your ancestor's possible daily activities by placing them in the context of their time.
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[to Dr. Cox] And you know what, glare all you want, big dog, okay? .'Cause I'm not afraid of you.^ 'Cause I'm not afraid of you.
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.[mimicking Cox] "Oh no!^ Cox: Oh, no, no.
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^ Cox] "Oh no!
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^ Cox : Oh, God, no.
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.Jordan's only paying attention to the baby!"^ Jordan's only paying attention to the baby!"
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That must be so hard for Dr. 'Look-At-Me', isn't it? "Look at me!" [to Turk and Carla] And you two? .What, you're arguing since you got engaged?^ What, you're arguing since you got engaged?
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.Wow, you're probably the first couple that's ever done that ever.^ Wow, you're probably the first couple that's ever done that ever .
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^ You're here because you're scared to death that you may have to rely on yourself for the first time ever.
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.It can't be that you're just scared, is it?^ J.D. .: But you just told Jordan that you're gonna...
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^ You're here because you're scared to death that you may have to rely on yourself for the first time ever.
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^ Janitor : You're just noticing now?
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[to Elliot] And you! Y-you know what, let's just—let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone. .Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is.^ Because, for me, it's actually fun to watch you sabotage a relationship from the outside, it really is.
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^ If you have trouble with relationships, maybe it's because you have problems with commitment.
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.[to everyone] Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!^ You know how we hate everyone?
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^ Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!
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^ You just said how you feel.
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[He storms out. Laverne walks in]
.Laverne: Did I miss something good?^ Laverne walks in] Laverne : Did I miss something good?
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My Kingdom [2.19]

Elliot: [walking up to Doctor Cox, who is experiencing difficulties with an outdated, broken computer] Doctor Cox—
Dr. Cox: [angrily, to computer] Work. I hate you. You suck.
Elliot: I know, but I've been trying harder—
Dr. Cox: Barbie? .Talking to the computer, but nice self esteem.^ Talking to the computer , but nice self esteem.
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.Paul: Hey cowboy, how about you back off the little lady, and we'll all agree that you're really, really scary.^ Lady : I'll call you.
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^ Paul : Hey cowboy, how about you back off the little lady, and we'll all agree that you're really, really scary.
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^ Elliot : How about you?
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Dr. Cox: Look Flowers, I know your pink scrubs are balled up at the base of Barbie's bed three nights a week, and congrats on that, really. .But if you're gonna go ahead and have a showdown with everyone who hassles her, you two won't have time for that sweet, Aryan sex that you love so much.^ But if you're gonna go ahead and have a showdown with everyone who hassles her, you two won't have time for that sweet, Aryan sex that you love so much.
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^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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^ If you're going to kill yourself — lookin' at you, sad eyes — do it off-campus, because it is a butt-load of paperwork.
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.Hit the bricks, towheads.^ Hit the bricks, towheads.
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Dr. Cox: [referring to a broken computer] Why have we never fixed or replaced this monstrosity?
.Laverne : You know the deal around here: if it barely works, it's not gonna get replaced.^ Laverne : You know the deal around here: if it barely works, it's not gonna get replaced.
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^ Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know.
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^ And I don't know what else to say, but I'm really, really gonna miss you.
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Dr. Cox : Well, I guess that explains why your ass is still on the payroll, huh? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Somebody stop me!

My Interpretation [2.20]

J.D.: Look... .Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you.^ Janitor, I'm gonna be straight with you.
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.I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.^ I saw your penis and I noticed a possible melanoma that you should really have checked out.
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^ Elliot : If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you!
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^ But then I realized that you just have to pretend that the needle is your friend.
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.Janitor: When did you see my penis?^ Janitor : When did you see my penis?
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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^ Kelso : Doctor Cox, did you get my memo reminding all senior staff that lab coats must be worn at all times?
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.J.D.: Last night when you were showering.^ J.D. : Last night when you were showering.
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^ Lady : I want to thank you for dinner last night.
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^ Elliot : You know I kinda had a date last night?
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Janitor.: Where were you?
.J.D.: Oh, I was outside in the bushes.^ J.D. : Oh, I was outside in the bushes.
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Janitor: [dumbfounded]
.J.D.: Look, it was just a coincidence, man.^ Janitor : [dumbfounded] J.D. : Look, it was just a coincidence, man.
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.If you had looked out of the window you would've seen MY penis, you know.^ If you had looked out of the window you would've seen MY penis, you know.
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^ I've been looking for a new roleplaying game ever since my Lord Of The Rings club booted me for using an actual warhammer, so would anyone mind if I pretended to be Chief of Medicine while Kelso is out of town?
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^ Janitor : When did you see my penis?
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Janitor: What? Why?
.J.D.: Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!^ J.D. : Because I had it out while I was looking at yours!
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.J.D.: [Inspecting the Janitor's penis after seeing a possible melanoma] Well, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign.^ Janitor : When did you see my penis?
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^ How is it possible that you still don't get me?
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^ Janitor : Look like you got problems.
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.Janitor: Benign, nine and a half...^ Janitor : Benign, nine and a half...
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My Drama Queen [2.21]

Dr. Cox: Oh gosh, Denise, thank you for clarifying my point by repeating it word for word. .Now, in a reciprocal gesture, can I be included in the planning of your coming out party?^ Now, in a reciprocal gesture, can I be included in the planning of your coming out party?
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J.D.: Is that a gay joke?
Dr. Cox: No, it's a cotillion joke. .My God, newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years.^ My God, newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years.
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.How is it possible that you still don't get me?^ How is it possible that you still don't get me?
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^ J.D. : I don't think you're stupid; your job requires a lot of know-how.
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^ [J.D. is telling Elliot how much he loves her] J.D.: Look, Elliot, I don't know if its possible to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I'll give it a shot.
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.I would never compare you to the gays.^ I would never compare you to the gays.
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I like the gays. I like their music. .I like their sense of style.^ I like their sense of style.
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.I especially like what they've done with Halloween, but our thing is that you are a little girl.^ I especially like what they've done with Halloween, but our thing is that you are a little girl.
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^ But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no."
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^ It's like they've been watching our lives, and then just put it on TV! [ edit ] My Cabbage [5.12] .
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That's who you are. But maybe that's not fair...
J.D.: [narration] Nothing can stop Dr. Cox when he's on a roll like this...
.Carla: My mom died.^ Carla : My mom died.
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J.D.: [narration] Except that.

Dr. Cox: You are what you eat. .And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?^ And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?
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^ But as for me, I know you think it was a big victory figuring out what was wrong with Robyn, but those moments are kind of like eating a piece of chocolate.
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My Dream Job [2.22]

Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, Bob, here's an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? .We'll just replace you with a giant time-clock.^ We'll just replace you with a giant time-clock.
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^ I'll just go tell your patients they're on their own because you're all too scared.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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.Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman.^ I've never satisfied a woman."
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^ Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman.
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^ I've never satisfied a woman.
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I've never satisfied a woman. .I've never satisfied a woman."^ I've never satisfied a woman."
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^ I've never satisfied a woman.
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^ Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we'll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say "I've never satisfied a woman.
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[J.D and Cox witness Kelso berating Elliot]
.J.D.: If she was your daughter you'd totally know how to handle it.^ You know how we hate everyone?
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^ You know what your problem is, Bambi?
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^ [J.D and Cox witness Kelso berating Elliot] J.D. : If she was your daughter you'd totally know how to handle it.
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Dr. Cox: My God, you're right.
[Cox walks up to and punches Kelso]
Dr. Cox: You're doing fine there, Barbie.
.Elliot: [stunned] ...Thank you?^ Elliot : [stunned] ...Thank you?
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Dr. Cox: Everybody have a good one! .I'm going home to see my son...^ I'm going home to see my son...
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.'Scuse me, there, Bobbo.^ 'Scuse me, there, Bobbo.
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Season 3

My Own American Girl [3.01]

.Nurse Roberts: You'll be okay, Marshmallow.^ Nurse Roberts : If you ever get this close again, I will end you.
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^ Nurse Roberts : You'll be okay, Marshmallow.
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^ [Carla and the nurses walk in] Carla : If it's okay with you, we'll take that raise now.
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.Elliot: Laverne, do you call me "Marshmallow" because I'm soft and easily flattened?^ Elliot : Laverne, do you call me "Marshmallow" because I'm soft and easily flattened?
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^ [Jordan and Elliot are in the cafeteria] Jordan : You know, one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
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^ You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it.
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.Nurse Roberts: Well, yeah...^ Nurse Roberts : Well, yeah...
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.But, if it makes you feel any better, it's also because you're very white.^ It makes the white man feel guilty.
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^ You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it.
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^ But, if it makes you feel any better, it's also because you're very white.
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Dr. Moyer: These are my machines!
Carla: Sir—
Dr. Moyer: MY MACHINES!
.Turk: Whose machines?^ Carla : Sir— Dr. Moyer : MY MACHINES! Turk : Whose machines?
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Dr. Moyer: MY MACHINES!
.J.D.: [to Turk] How was that helpful?^ Moyer : MY MACHINES! J.D. : [to Turk] How was that helpful?
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My Journey [3.02]

Elliot: [Upon applying red lipstick in preparation for a date] Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No... Barbie, no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.
Elliot: Oh! Ah... that was my mistake, .I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.^ I keep forgetting that you're a horrible, horrible person.
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^ And you can forget about him being just an exceptional physician because the fact of the matter is...he's a damn exceptional person.
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^ J.D. : You're a much stronger person than you used to be.
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Dr. Cox: Ooh, Backbone Barbie!

.Elliot: Oh, so you've never dreamed about your wedding day.^ Elliot : Oh, so you've never dreamed about your wedding day.
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^ Elliot : How about you?
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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J.D.: [drifts off]
.Priest: Do you, John Dorian, take Marcia Brady to be your wife?^ J.D. : [drifts off] Priest : Do you, John Dorian, take Marcia Brady to be your wife?
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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^ Elliot : If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you!
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.Maureen McCormick: My name is Maureen McCormick.^ Maureen McCormick : My name is Maureen McCormick.
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J.D.: Marcia, please! Father, continue.

My White Whale [3.03]

Dr. Kelso: Well, don't worry about it, son, those things are a dime a dozen.
Bruce: Really?
Dr. Kelso: In fact, if you get bored, why don't you just hijack an ice cream truck and drive it through our brand new pathology lab? .But do me a favor and spare the paper shredder, because I'll need that to turn your next twelve paychecks into a clown wig you can wear for the rest of your internship!^ But do me a favor and spare the paper shredder, because I'll need that to turn your next twelve paychecks into a clown wig you can wear for the rest of your internship!
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^ Cox : Bob, I cannot believe you're going to turn this hospital into a money-making machine that coerces people into spending their hard-earned cash on expensive procedures they don't even need.
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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.J.D.: Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns.^ J.D : Hey, you're black, right?
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^ J.D. : Hey, Sean, you were right about me and my interns.
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^ So right about now you gotta be asking yourself: do you think you're that good?
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.I guess I owe you an apology.^ I guess I owe you an apology.
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.Carla: Damn straight, you do!^ Carla : Damn straight, you do!
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You know what your problem is, Bambi? .You're—[Turk picks her up and carries her away] Oh!^ You're— [Turk picks her up and carries her away] Oh!
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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^ [Cox walks up to and punches Kelso] Dr. Cox : You're doing fine there, Barbie.
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Turk! Please? .Just one more second?^ Just one more second?
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^ Y-you know what, let's just—let's just forget for one second that a month ago you told me you couldn't be in a relationship with anyone.
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I need the rush! Please? .[to J.D.] I'm coming back for you!^ J.D.] I'm coming back for you!
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My Lucky Night [3.04]

Dr. Cox: [To Dr. Steadman] You're a doctor? Here, all this time I thought that you were some kind of parasitic creature that lived shoulder-deep inside Big Bob's colon.
Dr. Steadman: [To Dr. Kelso] If only, sir.

Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

My Brother Where Art Thou? [3.05]

Dan: [objecting to Dr. Cox's harsh treatment of a patient] Hey, that's a human being there!
Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, Dan, what do you do?
Dan: I'm a bartender.
Dr. Cox: Well, how about you leave the medicine to me, but by gum, if I ever need advice on just how to make a really dynamite rum and Coke, well then you'd better be by the phone, mister, cause I might just give you a jingle. [mimes talking on a phone] "Hello, Dan? Cox-a-roonie. .Regarding the rum and Coke issue.^ Regarding the rum and Coke issue.
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.Couldn't be more confused."^ Couldn't be more confused."
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J.D.: Look, Dan. .I want to apologize for everything I said.^ I want to apologize for everything I said.
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.For what it's worth, I really like having you around.^ For what it's worth, I really like having you around.
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^ I would think an arrogant ass like you would love having his very own clone.
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^ For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor?
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.Dan: No, you don't.^ Dan : No, you don't.
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J.D.: I know. .I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.^ I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face.
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My Advice To You [3.06]

[J.D. and several other residents are watching TV; Dr. Cox turns it off; they groan]
Dr. Cox: Fine. .Let me just tell you how it ends.^ Let me just tell you how it ends.
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^ You just said how you feel.
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^ Cox : You know, Jordan, I have to tell you: despite how crazy-hormonal you are, there is something about a pregnant woman that's almost spiritual.
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Dr. Phil says, "And how is that working out... for you?" .And then the big fat lady cries, waah.^ And then the big fat lady cries, waah.
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Alright. I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of Residency Director considering my disdain for, well... all of you. .Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck?^ Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck?
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Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this god forsaken hellhole?
[Elliot looks pleased and impressed]
Dr. Cox: It's all about the four dollars, trust me.

.Danni: Unrequited love sucks, you know?^ Danni : Unrequited love sucks, you know?
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.J.D.: You know what we need to do, uhhh...?^ J.D. : I want you to know, if I ever need surgery again, I want you inside of me.
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^ J.D. : You know what we need to do, uhhh...?
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Danni: Danni.
J.D.: J.D.
Danni: Hi.
J.D.: Hi. .Danni, we need to move on, okay?^ Danni, we need to move on, okay?
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.No more thinking about our exes, no more waiting for the phone to ring, no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in hopes that she'll be so grateful she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.^ No more thinking about our exes, no more waiting for the phone to ring, no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in hopes that she'll be so grateful she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.
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^ Dancer : [about his physical therapist] Why don't you just ask her out?
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^ Kelso : In fact, if you get bored, why don't you just hijack an ice cream truck and drive it through our brand new pathology lab?
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.Danni: Did that work?^ Danni : Did that work?
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.J.D.: I stole the wrong purse.^ J.D. : I stole the wrong purse.
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And yes.

My Fifteen Seconds [3.07]

.Jordan: I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny.^ Jordan : I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny.
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.She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.^ She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.
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^ J.D. : I guess it's because we all want to believe that what we do is important, that people hang on our every word, that they care what we think.
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^ Look at him— your kid's, like, all green and slimy.
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Dr. Cox: Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model. .At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.^ At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.
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^ Cox puts his hands on his head, and Jack copies him] Dr. Cox : Up yours, Bobbo.
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.Danni: What are you doing here?^ Danni : What are you doing here?
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Dr. Cox: I called him. .Lookit, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of...^ Lookit, after shooting my mouth off the other night I've been feeling a lot of...
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well...
Jordan: Guilt.
Dr. Cox: No, not that.
J.D.: Guilt?
Dr. Cox: Yes, that.
[Jordan rolls her eyes]
Dr. Cox: I... .I don't like her to be right.^ I don't like her to be right.
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My Friend the Doctor [3.08]

Dr. Cox: Carla, I have a six-month old child, I'm gonna be one of those weird old guys who brings my son down to the park, where everybody is like, "Hmm, is he the dad, is he the grandad, is he the grandad's grandad and oh my God, why is he pushing a traffic cone on the swing while his five-year old little boy is in the mud crying? .Is—is he taunting the little boy?^ Is—is he taunting the little boy?
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No! He can't even see the little boy, and, now look: he's actually taking the traffic cone, putting it in the minivan and driving away while the little boy cries and the traffic cone sits quietly and watches Finding Nemo on DVD."

Dr. Cox: Do you...do you think that my son will like me?
.Carla: Oh, God no.^ [Carla nods] Oh thank God.
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^ Carla : Oh, God no.
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^ Cox : Oh, God, no.
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My Dirty Secret [3.09]

.Elliot: Oh my God!^ Elliot : Oh, my God.
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^ Elliot : Oh my God!
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^ Ted : Oh my God, you cut off someone's nose?!
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.She has a tattoo of a teardrop on her bajingo!^ She has a tattoo of a teardrop on her bajingo!
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Is it sad?
.Carla: It does look a little sad.^ Carla : It does look a little sad.
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They always do.

.Jordan: [kisses Cox] Hurry home tonight so you can ignore your son and not do your share.^ Jordan : [kisses Cox] Hurry home tonight so you can ignore your son and not do your share.
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^ The better news is that the test revealed a little secret that you're gonna wanna share with your new pal.
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^ J.D. : [to Dr. Cox] Did you teach your son to be mean to a baby?
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Dr. Cox: [laughs weakly] You make me want to kill myself and everybody around me!

My Rule of Thumb [3.10]

.Elliot: Carla, if your wedding ceremony's gonna be in Spanish, how will I know that you're officially married?^ She doesn't know you're joking.
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^ You know how we hate everyone?
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^ You're fantastic with your kid.
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.Carla: [sarcastically] Cause all my cousins will throw tortillas in the air and fire their guns.^ Carla : [sarcastically] Cause all my cousins will throw tortillas in the air and fire their guns.
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Elliot: Really? .God I wish I was ethnic.^ God I wish I was ethnic.
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Dr. Kelso: Hey champ, what has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? [points to self with thumbs] Bob Kelso. How ya doin'?

My Clean Break [3.11]

.Turk: If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off.^ Turk : If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off.
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^ Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body.
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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.Carla: That's sweet—while your mother lays there dying!^ Carla : That's sweet—while your mother lays there dying!
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Turk: [to J.D.] Tell her.
J.D.: His mom doesn't die. .Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body.^ Tyra uses her connections in the supermodel world to get government scientists to put Turk's mom's brain into Heidi Klum's body.
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^ Turk : If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off.
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.She falls in love with me, we all move in together.^ She falls in love with me, we all move in together.
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.Turk: It'd be awkward at first, but I'd make it work...^ Turk : It'd be awkward at first, but I'd make it work...
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because .I love my mom.^ I love my mom.
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J.D.: Mmm... and I would love her too!
.Carla: New low.^ Carla : New low.
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Dr. Cox: As Residency Director, it is my pleasure to have both surgical and medical personnel here with us today. In fact, in this room, we have enough brainpower to light up a city! .Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws.^ Not a real city, mind you, but definitely a tiny ant city whose government has recently passed a series of stringent energy conservation laws.
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Doug: [taking notes, whispering to J.D.] Stringent what?
.J.D.: [whispering to Doug] Stringent updoc.^ J.D. : [whispering to Doug] Stringent updoc.
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^ Doug : [taking notes, whispering to J.D.] Stringent what?
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[to Turk] It's happening.
[Doug raises his hand]
Dr. Cox: Yes, nervous guy?
Doug: What's "up Doc"?

My Catalyst [3.12]

.Kevin Casey: [to Ted] Hey, does that suit come with the flop sweat?^ Kevin Casey : [to Ted] Hey, does that suit come with the flop sweat?
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My Porcelain God [3.13]

Janitor: Okay, look, attention roof-poopers! .Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I'm going to make sure that you all live to regret this day, let's keep the magic rolling.^ Jordan : What have you been doing all day?
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^ Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I'm going to make sure that you all live to regret this day, let's keep the magic rolling.
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^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
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Let's not tell anyone else that there's a toilet on the roof— [the Todd walks in] There is not a toilet on the roof!
.The Todd: But you just said there was!^ The Todd : But you just said there was!
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^ You just said how you feel.
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.Janitor: No—yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor...^ Janitor : No—yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor...
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ah, that means .God is watching us.^ God is watching us.
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.You've heard this...^ You've heard this...
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.There's a "Toilet" on the 'Roof". Right, people?^ There's a "Toilet" on the 'Roof".
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^ Let's not tell anyone else that there's a toilet on the roof— [the Todd walks in] There is not a toilet on the roof!
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[Group agreement]

My Screw Up [3.14]

.Ted: Sir, I think I know how my problem concerns a loved one.^ Ted : Sir, I think I know how my problem concerns a loved one.
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^ Cox : I did, Ted, and I don't know how to pretend to care.
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^ J.D. : I don't think you're stupid; your job requires a lot of know-how.
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Kelso: Go on.
Ted: It concerns me...?
.Kelso: Swing and a miss.^ Kelso : Swing and a miss.
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Dr. Cox: Shower Shorts?
.J.D: For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.^ J.D : For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.
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My Tormented Mentor [3.15]

Dr. Cox: Listen, Abby, I didn't write to you for advice, so if you continue down this road you are going to be eating, breathing and relieving yourself through a tube of some kind! Signed, Dealing With It On His Own, from Kansas.
.J.D.: I once wrote to Abby because I didn't have any hair like the rest of the boys.^ J.D. : I once wrote to Abby because I didn't have any hair like the rest of the boys.
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.By the time an answer came back it was like a forest down there!^ By the time an answer came back it was like a forest down there!
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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.But, you know, nothing ventured.^ But, you know, nothing ventured.
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^ Denise : You know, it's ironic that cancer starts with "can", because at this stage there's nothing we can do about it!
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^ Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know.
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Dr. Cox: I'm looking for streamers and a marching band because this will be the ceremonial one millionth time I've had to shake off something you've said.

Dr. Cox: Listen to me, never stick any part of your hairless body in my life again. .Trust me, there is nothing for you to gain from it, because even if you went on a cruise to the furthest parts of the ocean and rescued my salt-soaked body in time to pump the sea water out of my lungs and bring me back from the brink of death, I would still be disappointed that the first face I saw was yours.^ Trust me, there is nothing for you to gain from it, because even if you went on a cruise to the furthest parts of the ocean and rescued my salt-soaked body in time to pump the sea water out of my lungs and bring me back from the brink of death, I would still be disappointed that the first face I saw was yours.
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^ And not just because she appears to have a cork up her ass and you can see all those blue veins on the backs of her thighs.
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^ Cox : You know I did get it there, Bob, and at first I just threw it away, but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture, so I made a replica of you out of straw and I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket, and then I invited all the kids in the neighborhood to come over to light it on fire and whack it with sticks.
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.J.D.: Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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^ Turk : I'm not giving you a hug.
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^ I wouldn't change any of it, would you guys?
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My Butterfly [3.16]

.Elliot: I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.^ Elliot : I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.
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^ Todd : I got a pink doggie for you, but it's not little!
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.Todd: I got a pink doggie for you, but it's not little!^ Todd : I got a pink doggie for you, but it's not little!
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^ Elliot : I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.
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.Elliot: If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you!^ Elliot : If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you!
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^ Elliot : [to a patient who's suing her] I know what your problem is; you blame your problems on everyone else.
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^ And transport your father from wherever he is to where you're going to be.
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Dr. Kelso: Do you think I got to be chief of medicine by being late?
Dr. Cox: No. .You got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.^ You got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.
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Dr. Kelso: Maybe so, but I started those things promptly at eight.

My Moment of Un-Truth [3.17]

Elliot: Laverne, did you pull up Mr. Thompson's old charts?
Nurse Roberts: He was here like 8 years ago complaining of the same abdominal pain, but as soon as he was given his pain medication, he went M.I.A.
.Elliot: So he just took the drugs and bolted?^ Nurse Roberts : He was here like 8 years ago complaining of the same abdominal pain, but as soon as he was given his pain medication, he went M.I.A. Elliot : So he just took the drugs and bolted?
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.Nurse Roberts: No...^ Nurse Roberts : No...
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he took some towels too.

Elliot: Mr. Thompson, I was just taking a look at your old charts...
Dr. Kelso: Yes. .He was just telling me that the last time he was here, the doctor couldn't diagnose him and just threw a bunch of painkillers at him instead.^ He was just telling me that the last time he was here, the doctor couldn't diagnose him and just threw a bunch of painkillers at him instead.
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^ Now, be a doll and go give Dr. Turk a message ASAP. Tell him Dr. Dorian is stuck in the tree again, but this time there are many bees.
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Elliot: He did?
Mr. Thompson: I was so frustrated that I took off. But I have to say, with Dr. Reid here I know we'll finally get to the bottom of this. .She is one terrific doctor.^ She is one terrific doctor.
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Dr. Kelso: So this pain you're having is making you delusional?

His Story II [3.18]

.J.D.: Laverne, what would you give me if I got this jellybean in your cleavage?^ J.D. : Laverne, what would you give me if I got this jellybean in your cleavage?
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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^ If I were sucking up, I would tell you how much I like your shoes...
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Laverne: A concussion.

Carla: Christopher!
Turk: Christopher? .You only call me that when you're mad at me...^ You only call me that when you're mad at me...
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^ Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?
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^ J.D. : [singing] You're the only man who's ever been inside of me!
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or when we're having sex. .Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?^ You only call me that when you're mad at me...
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^ Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?
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^ You understand that the second you look in the mirror and you're happy with what you see, baby, you just lost the battle.
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Carla: ...Sometimes.

My Choosiest Choice of All [3.19]

.Danni: Do you even enjoy spending time with me?^ Danni : Do you even enjoy spending time with me?
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^ Whether it's an operation you've done a hundred times, or even teaching.
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^ And right about now, even though you don't have your basket, oh it's just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley.
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.J.D.: "Enjoy" is such a strong word.^ J.D. : "Enjoy" is such a strong word.
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I... I'm used to it! .Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.^ Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.
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J.D.: [narration] There comes a time when every man needs to make a choice, whether it's a professional choice or whether it's a personal choice. .In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little.^ In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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^ So, what do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other?
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And sometimes... well, sometimes you just have to do what's right for your friend, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. .When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.^ When it comes down to it, you just have to be proud of the decision you make.
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^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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My Fault [3.20]

Dr. Cox: Bob, I cannot believe you're going to turn this hospital into a money-making machine that coerces people into spending their hard-earned cash on expensive procedures they don't even need.
Dr. Kelso: Why not? .It sounds like something I'd do.^ It sounds like something I'd do.
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[Turk and Carla are at a cake store, in search of one for their wedding.]
.Turk: What's up with the white people on top?^ Turk : What's up with the white people on top?
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.Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.^ Carla : Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
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.Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.^ Baker : I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
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.Turk: Oh, that's a great idea.^ Turk : Oh, that's a great idea.
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Put 'em in blackface.
Carla: Turk!
Turk: What? [To baker] While you're at it, why don't you put a string in the back of him, so when you pull it he sings "Mammy"!
Baker: Forget it.
[The baker walks off to the back of his shop.]
Turk: Where're you going?! .To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes?^ To the back of the bakery where you keep all the other colored cakes?
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^ Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I'm going to make sure that you all live to regret this day, let's keep the magic rolling.
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^ Paul : Hey cowboy, how about you back off the little lady, and we'll all agree that you're really, really scary.
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.I'ma call Jesse!^ I'ma call Jesse !
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.And we gonna march on your ass!^ And we gonna march on your ass!
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My Self-Examination [3.21]

.Turk: Carla, when I look in your eyes I see the future.^ Turk : Carla, when I look in your eyes I see the future.
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^ Jordan : You know, there's nothing like looking into someone's eyes and seeing a part of them die.
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^ Turk : [After defeating Carla in arm wrestling] DO YOU SEE, CARLA?!
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I see kids. I see minivans. .You name it, I see it.^ You name it, I see it.
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.The weird thing is, as long as I see your smile, none of that stuff scares me.^ The weird thing is, as long as I see your smile, none of that stuff scares me.
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My Best Friend's Wedding [3.22]

Dr. Kelso: [Drunk] Dr. Turkleton!
.Turk: Actually sir, it's just Turk.^ Turk : Actually sir, it's just Turk.
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Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
.Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?^ Turk : You think my name is Turk Turkleton?
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^ Cox : Do you...do you think that my son will like me?
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^ Janitor] My muffin thinks you're crazy and she wants you to go.
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Dr. Kelso: [Carla walks up] And Mrs. Turkleton! The Turkletons! [chuckles; leaves to find bartender] Can I get another Scotch?

Elliot: I'm so sorry I ripped off your sister's eyebrow.
Carla: It's ok. .This morning she actually said she was going to look better than me.^ This morning she actually said she was going to look better than me.
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Elliot: Not anymore!

Season 4

My Old Friend's New Friend [4.01]

Dr. Cox: Newbie, do you want me give my "things I don't care about" speech again? .Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything.^ Because I've updated it to include all white guys who add -izzle to anything.
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^ J.D. : Well who cares, Lonnie, [turning to the camera again and pointing] because all that really matters is whether or not America loves it.
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^ J.D. : We all knew that Dr. Cox was right because the truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person.
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.J.D.: I agrizzle, my nizzle.^ J.D. : I agrizzle, my nizzle.
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Dr. Cox: Dear God, Felicia, you don't think I'm actually done teaching you, do you? .Don't you realize the only difference is that now when you come to work and start killing people no one will be able to say "It's okay, he's just a resident"? What they're damn sure gonna be wondering is who tried to educate your sorry ass, and when that finger of blame points at me, you had damn sure better hope I'm in a coma from the anger stroke I suffered from the last time you tried to hug me.^ If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something.
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^ Janitor : You're just noticing now?
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^ Janitor : At least they're real.
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By the way, don't be late tomorrow... Doctor.

My Office [4.02]

J.D.: [upon being told by Dr. Cox that Elliot has been appointed chief resident]: I do have three questions, though. .Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love, who's going to tell my mom, and what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand "John Dorian, Chief Resident" business cards!?^ Why do you hate me when I show you nothing but love, who's going to tell my mom, and what the hell am I supposed to do with ten thousand "John Dorian, Chief Resident" business cards!?
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^ I love my mom.
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^ Janitor : [to kid] Who the hell are you?
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[Falls to his knees, throwing business cards everywhere]
Dr. Cox: Yeah, Scarlet, you're chief resident too.
J.D.: Uh, what now?
Dr. Cox: Well, I figure with her being ridiculously book-smart to the point where she has almost no interpersonal skills, and you being warm and cuddly as an un-potty trained labradoodle, and about as useful in high-stress medical situations as an un-potty trained labradoodle, together, the two of you make one barely passable doctor...-slash-labradoodle.
.J.D.: So wait, why didn't you just say that in the first place?^ J.D. : So wait, why didn't you just say that in the first place?
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^ Ted : [to Kelso] Why are you spending your retirement in the place you used to work?
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^ Dancer : [about his physical therapist] Why don't you just ask her out?
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Dr. Cox: What, and miss your hall-of-fame hissy? Not on your life.

Dr. Kelso: So what do you think?
Dr. Cox: Well, Bob, either this kid's got a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.

My New Game [4.03]

Dr. Cox: You know what? .I've got a son, I don't fantasize about Jordan dying as much anymore, and, even though it wasn't planned, I'm actually pretty happy about the way this whole marriage thing has worked out.^ I've got a son, I don't fantasize about Jordan dying as much anymore, and, even though it wasn't planned, I'm actually pretty happy about the way this whole marriage thing has worked out.
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^ J.D. : [voiceover] And so in the end I knew what Elliot said about the way things were had forever changed the way we all thought about.
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^ Dancer : [about his physical therapist] Why don't you just ask her out?
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.Sooo, would you please stop your chirping and step away from my personal life?^ Sooo, would you please stop your chirping and step away from my personal life?
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^ Elliot : If you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you!
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^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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My First Kill [4.04]

.J.D: [narration] ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.^ J.D : [narration] ...That's why it's always nice when someone takes the time to reach out and befriend you.
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^ Turk : Oh, come on, Carla, give me one good reason why you won't go out with me.
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^ Dancer : [about his physical therapist] Why don't you just ask her out?
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.New Doctor: [Approaching from behind a wall] Hey!^ New Doctor : [Approaching from behind a wall] Hey!
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.I'm Ron, I'm a new doctor here.^ I'm Ron, I'm a new doctor here.
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.J.D: Hey Ron, the "I don't care" ward's down there.^ J.D : Hey Ron, the "I don't care" ward's down there.
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[J.D. is asking people at the hospital if they've ever unintentionally killed a patient]
Turk: Remember my first year, Mr. Quinn?
Elliot: Mrs. Kahn, my second year.
Doug: Mr. Studabaker, forty minutes into my first day.
.Kelso: I've been a doctor for thirty years.^ Kelso : I've been a doctor for thirty years.
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What do you think?
Doug: On my third day there was Mr. Kirschner.
.Todd: Jenny Roth about eight weeks ago.^ Todd : Jenny Roth about eight weeks ago.
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.It was really tough, because she was hot.^ It was really tough, because she was hot.
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.Doug: Then later that third day...^ Doug : Then later that third day...
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^ Doug : On my third day there was Mr. Kirschner.
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.[his beeper goes off] Oh boy, that can't be good.^ Oh boy, that can't be good.
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.Cox: No, newbie, I've not killed.^ Cox : No, newbie, I've not killed.
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.But I happen to be, as always, the exception that proves the rule.^ But I happen to be, as always, the exception that proves the rule.
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So right about now you gotta be asking yourself: do you think you're that good?

Her Story [4.05]

.J.D.: [narration] Even though I was already an amazing doctor, when I became chief resident I decided to add a little something extra to my repertoire.^ J.D. : [narration] Even though I was already an amazing doctor, when I became chief resident I decided to add a little something extra to my repertoire.
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^ J.D. : My kid's not even born yet and I'm already screwing up his life.
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^ J.D. : [upon being told by Dr. Cox that Elliot has been appointed chief resident] : I do have three questions, though.
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A hook, if you will.
[J.D. approaches the bed of a female patient, holding a handheld tape recorder]
J.D.: [into recorder] Mrs. McCullum, forties. .Moderately attractive, condition improving.^ Moderately attractive, condition improving.
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Mrs. McCullum: Did you just say I was moderately attractive?
J.D.: Excuse me, Mrs. McCullum. .[into recorder] Patient's complaint of hearing loss was clearly just to get attention.^ Patient's complaint of hearing loss was clearly just to get attention.
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^ [J.D. approaches the bed of a female patient, holding a handheld tape recorder] J.D. : [into recorder] Mrs. McCullum, forties.
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[J.D. has just regained his residents' respect]
.J.D.: Lonnie, slap your face!^ [J.D. has just regained his residents' respect] J.D. : Lonnie, slap your face!
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^ [Lonnie does so] J.D. : All of you, slap your faces!
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[Lonnie does so]
.J.D.: All of you, slap your faces!^ J.D. : Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
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^ You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch] .
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^ Maddox : Hey, how come all you have in here is a smiley face button and a revolver?
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[All the residents slap their own faces]
J.D.: Awesome.

My Cake [4.06]

.Dan: What, a guy can't take three days off work, travel 800 miles on a bus with a double-layer fudge cake just to say "hey, how are things?"^ Dan : What, a guy can't take three days off work, travel 800 miles on a bus with a double-layer fudge cake just to say "hey, how are things?"
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^ Honestly, the only thing that gives me comfort, you guys, is that while I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!
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^ J.D. : [voiceover] I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances, and how it's really just about overcoming your fears.
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J.D.: Dan.
.Dan: ...Dad died.^ Dan : ...Dad died.
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.J.D.: ...There's ice cream in the fridge.^ J.D. : ...There's ice cream in the fridge.
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Dr. Cox: Let's break down the kid's support system, shall we? He's got me, an emotionally crippled narcissist, and he's got you, an emotionally crippled narcissist who is soaking in a tub of what by now has to be mostly your own urine.
.Dan: I believe the ratio has shifted that way, yes.^ Dan : I believe the ratio has shifted that way, yes.
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My Common Enemy [4.07]

.Molly: Perry, no one's pure evil!^ Molly : Perry, no one's pure evil!
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.I mean, yeah, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside, everybody has a creamy center.^ I mean, yeah, some people have a hard outer shell, but inside, everybody has a creamy center.
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^ Cox : There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
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Dr. Cox: There are plenty of people here on this particular planet who are hard on the outside and hard on the inside.
.Molly: So they'd have more of a nougaty center?^ Molly : So they'd have more of a nougaty center?
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Dr. Cox: Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. .Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.^ Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
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^ People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
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.But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.^ But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine.
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.Molly: [Rubs his stomach] I'm touching your creamy center!^ Molly : [Rubs his stomach] I'm touching your creamy center!
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[She leaves; J.D. walks down the hallway toward Cox]
Dr. Cox: Ohh, I am... so very angry... that .I'm going to find someone to kill...just to prove her wrong.^ I'm going to find someone to kill...just to prove her wrong.
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^ That's why if you actually find someone you care about, it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't let go all the way.
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Uhhh.
[J.D. turns around and flees]

Dr. Cox: Bob, do you realize what you did by giving Blondie that book?
Dr. Kelso: With any luck, I kept her from reporting me to the board for trying to con her out of meds.
Dr. Cox: Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring!
Dr. Kelso: Well that's absurd. .People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.^ Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
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^ People are bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling.
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Dr. Cox: Exactly!

My Last Chance [4.08]

.Molly: I'm sorry, I'm attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people and you're just too normal.^ Molly : I'm sorry, I'm attracted to damaged, dysfunctional people and you're just too normal.
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^ I just want him to be really happy and normal, you know.
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^ Janitor : You're just noticing now?
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.J.D.: [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.^ J.D. : [narration] Sometimes all it takes is a slammin' hottie to make you dig down deep and discover who you really are.
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^ I'm taking you down.
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^ Because even if it breaks your heart to be "just friends," if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.
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.J.D.: My emotional journey began at five years old when I walked in on my parents having sex in a position my father would later playfully describe as "the jackhammer."^ J.D. : My emotional journey began at five years old when I walked in on my parents having sex in a position my father would later playfully describe as "the jackhammer."
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^ Turk : If Tyra Banks drove her car over my mom then offered to have sex with me, I'd have to dial 911 in the nude because my pants would already be off.
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.I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets and no matter how much I try I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.^ I have a mentor that verbally abuses me every chance he gets and no matter how much I try I can't stop constantly narrating my own life.
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^ They succeeded in doing much damage to property but no life was lost here.
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^ How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
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.J.D.: [narration] At that very moment I feared I had divulged too much.^ J.D. : [narration] At that very moment I feared I had divulged too much.
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.J.D.: Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.^ J.D. : Molly, I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair.
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^ One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time.
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^ Elliot : How is it that no man understands that every woman, whether she's sixteen or sixty, still has that awkward, insecure, self-conscious teenage girl inside of her?
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Molly: Wow. [kisses JD]

[The Janitor ki