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Spy Hard
Directed by Rick Friedberg
Produced by Doug Draizin
Jeffrey Konvitz
Rick Friedberg
Written by Rick Friedberg
Dick Chudnow
Aaron Seltzer
Jason Friedberg
Starring Leslie Nielsen
Nicollette Sheridan
Marcia Gay Harden
Charles Durning
Andy Griffith
John Ales
Elya Baskin
Music by Bill Conti
Cinematography John R. Leonetti
Editing by Eric Sears
Distributed by Hollywood Pictures
Release date(s) May 24, 1996
Running time 81 minutes
Country United States
Language English
Budget $18 million USD
Gross revenue $26,906,039 USD (USA)

Spy Hard is a 1996 comedy/action film starring Leslie Nielsen and Nicollette Sheridan, parodying James Bond films and other action films.


Plot summary

Secret agent Dick Steele, Agent WD-40, has his work cut out for him. Along with the mysterious and lovely Veronique Ukrinsky, Agent 3.14, he must rescue the kidnapped Barbara Dahl and stop the evil genius, General Rancor, from seizing control of the entire world.

Rancor was wounded in an earlier encounter and no longer has arms. However, he can "arm" himself by attaching robotic limbs with various weapons attached.

Steele is talked out of retirement by an old friend, agent Steven Bishop, and given his new assignment by The Director, who also is testing out a new variety of disguises. At headquarters, Steele encounters an old agency nemesis, Norm Coleman, and flirts with the Director's adoring secretary, Miss Cheevus.

On the job, Steele is assisted by Kabul, who gives him rides in a never-ending variety of specially designed cars. They seek help from McLuckey, a small blonde child, home alone, who is very good at fending off intruders.

Steele fights off the temptations of a dangerous woman he finds waiting for him in bed. But he does work very closely with Agent 3.14, whose father, Professor Ukrinsky, is also being held captive by General Rancor.

Everything comes to a explosive conclusion at the General's remote fortress, where Steele rescues both Barbara Dahl and Miss Cheevus and launches a literally disarmed Rancor into outer space, saving mankind.


Title sequence

"Weird Al" Yankovic sings the title song and directed the title sequence. It is a parody of title sequences from the James Bond films designed by Maurice Binder, specifically 1965's Thunderball, complete with multiple colored backgrounds, silhouetted figures, women dancing with guns, and "wavy" text. Additionally, an urban legend states that during the recording of the theme to Thunderball, Tom Jones held the song's final note long enough to pass out. Originally, Yankovic had planned to loop the note to the required length, but in the studio, he discovered he was able to hold the note long enough that no looping was required.[1] The sequence was later included on "Weird Al" Yankovic: The Ultimate Video Collection, although, for legal reasons, all names and titles had to be taken out, excluding that of the film and of Yankovic himself.



The movie contains many surprise guest appearances, including Mr. T as a helicopter pilot, Pat Morita as a waiter, Hulk Hogan and Dr. Joyce Brothers as tag-team wrestlers and Ray Charles as a bus driver, among others.

Thuy Trang appears as one of the Hawaiian girl-dressed waitresses at a bar who gives Dick Steele a manicure. Michael Berryman can been seen in the bus crash scene as the man with the oxygen mask. Fabio Lanzoni is seen walking past Dick Steele and Victoria Dahl spying on General Rancor and his men.

See also


External links



Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Spy Hard is a 1996 movie starring Leslie Nielsen and Nicollette Sheridan, parodying James Bond films and other action films.


Dick Steele

  • I'm Bud Fudlacker. I have a small mail order business. I travel with the American Gladiators. I'm 55. I like small appliances, and I do tax accounting on the side.
  • Crazy? Some people think walking down the street muttering to yourself is crazy. I'll tell you what crazy is: Crazy is walking down the street with half a cantaloupe on your head, saying: "I'm a hamster. I'm a hamster." That's crazy.

Veronique Ukrinsky

  • Let me guess: You are Dick Steele. Agent WD-40 and with the Secret Service. You are 52. You like big screen TVs and you wish to stop General Rancor.
  • Here's to your remarkable powers of observation, Mr. Steele. I am agent 3.14. Veronique Ukrinsky. My father is the professor.
  • This is a picture of my father. If we get separated, find him. Save him.
  • Get out of here. This is a front for Rancor.
  • Dick, this is crazy.
  • Dick, come on. We have to go! NOW!!

General Rancor

  • She makes a pretty hood ornament, don't you think? Yes, it is I, good old General Rancor. I'm back, big as life and twice as ugly! You did everything except eat me, and I'm still alive. All Steele did was blow off a couple of arms. That's no biggie, no big thing. Now there are plenty of arms!! Big arms!! Pretty arms!! I got arms up the wazoo! Now let me show you something. Your pretty little agent is now part of the nose cone on top of my missile. This missile will be launched in 36 hours and nothing will stop me!! Only thing is, I'm missing one little chip that controls my satellite, and dag-gone, I want it back! Now you hand me my chip, and I'll give you back your agent. Dick Steele couldn't stop me 15 years ago, and all the Dicks you've got won't stop me now!!
  • That Steele's gonna be sorry his mama ever met his papa. We gonna heat up the fire! Boys!!


Veronique: Oh, Dick, you came for me. Tell me, what...what's been happening?
Dick: Well, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, getting in touch with my inner child. And after careful consideration, well...I have decided that I love you.
Veronique: But what about my father?
Dick: Well, I like him. I just have to get to know him better.
Veronique: No, is he OK? Have you got the chip?
Dick: Oh, no, he's fine. And I've got the chip.
Veronique: Oh, I love you, too.

Veronique: Oh, Dick, it's so nice to know that everything is going to be all right. You have the chip. My father's safe. You love me, Dick.
Dick: Love? Let me tell you about love, Veronique. Love is a dewdrop on a rose petal. Love is a drop of rain pure and shimmering and trembling. So moist, so wet. And those tiny little drops of love come together, gathering up grown buds, and fallen flowers, and dirt, and dung, and dear droppings, flowing faster and faster, outward to the sea, onward and onward and...
(Veronique pulls Dick closer to her and kisses him long and hard; during the kiss, a rocket blasts off into the sky, turns and explodes.)
Dick: Good night. We'll talk more in the morning.

Thug #1: This is for Getting Even with Dad!
Thug #2: And this is for My Girl!
Thug #1: And this is for My Girl 2!
McCluckey: I wasn't even in My Girl 2!
Thugs #1 and #2: We don't care!!

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