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Stan Helsing
Directed by Bo Zenga
Produced by Scott Steindorff
Bo Zenga
Kirk Shaw
Starring Steve Howey
Diora Baird
Kenan Thompson
Desi Lydic
Leslie Nielsen
Music by Ryan Shore
Studio Stone Village Pictures
Distributed by Anchor Bay Entertainment[1]
Release date(s) October 23, 2009
Country United States
Language English

Stan Helsing is a 2009 parody film. Similar to past movies, such as Scary Movie, it directs parodies at horror films. Although it references many movies, TV shows, people and pop cultural events, it focuses mainly on the 2004 film Van Helsing.



Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) is an underachieving employee at a video rental store named Schlockbuster whose personal motto is "Don't get involved" which leads to some interesting situations. When his teen-aged boss Sully orders him to drop off a bag of movies to the mother of the store's owner or risk not having a job Monday morning. Despite his arguments, he agrees to the request and manages to get his friend Teddy (Kenan Thompson), his ex-girlfriend Nadine (Diora Baird) and a ditzy blond massage therapist Mia (Desi Lydic) to take him there before they attend a Halloween party. The friends agree although the house is in the opposite direction as without a job Stan would be unable to pay them back money he owes them.

Enroute, the group encounters a traffic jam and to Stan's surprise he spots Lucky, the living doll, (Jeff Gulka) in the van of a MILF next to them who makes obscene gestures that no one else notices. They miss their exit and while on the back roads, the group hits a dog in the street named Sammy and inadvertently ask the dog's owner for help who threatens to kill them for murdering his beloved dog Sammy. Teddy picks up a hitchhiker, but after learning he was convicted of murdering nurses they violently throw him from the moving vehicle. They come across a gas station where the perverted owners tell Stan that he may be related to the legendary Abraham Van Helsing the monster hunter. They depart and after finding Stormy Night Estates, they discover the attendants never put gas into the car. They come across a local bar and meet the ire of the townsfolk in a bad attempt of Karaoke while singing Johnny Cash's song Ring of Fire.

After they leave, they discover that all the citizens, including their "waitress" (Leslie Nielsen) have been dead since a massive fire in the town ten years prior. They encounter several monsters including Needlehead, the hockey masked killer Mason, Lucky, the same doll that Stan had seen earlier, Fweddy, Pleatherface and a jewish killer Michael Criers (parodies of Pinhead, Jason Voorhees, Chucky, Freddy Krueger, Leatherface, and Michael Myers). They are given weapons by an extroverted altar boy who is so very close to becoming a priest who informs Stan of his destiny and that he is Van Helsing's descendant, arming them with various weapons before kicking them out of his church. The townsfolk offer a competition in which Stan and his friends compete against the monsters in Karaoke. The humans are unanimously voted as the winners, but the monsters refuse to leave town. Disobeying his policy of never getting involved, Stan turns each of the monsters' weaknesses against them, soundly defeating them and feeding them to Sammy who had been brought back to vicious life (a'la Cujo or Pet Sematary). The group calls a cab and they leave the town as heroes. During the trip home, Nadine discovers how much she cares for Stan and kisses him. Teddy suggest kissing Mia, but she rebuffs with a lap dance offer instead which he gladly accepts. And the movie ends with the taxi driving away and you hear sounds of moaning.


As with the other films in the series, Stan Helsing parodies an array of movies and television shows. The following is a list of all the officially spoofed scenes/events throughout the movie:


  • Steve Howey as Stan Helsing
  • Diora Baird as Nadine
  • Kenan Thompson as Teddy
  • Desi Lydic as Mia
  • Leslie Nielsen as Kay
  • Travis MacDonald as Hitcher
  • Chad Krowchuk as Sully
  • Darren Moore as Crazy
  • Jeremy Crittenden as Altar Boy
  • Jeff Gulka as Lucky
  • Ken Kirzinger as Mason
  • Ben Cotton as Fweddy
  • Lee Tichon as Michael Criers
  • Twan Holliday as Pleatherface
  • Charles Zuckermann as Needleman
  • Hilary Strang as Hippie Lady
  • Ray G. Thunderchild as Husband
  • John DeSantis as Frankenstein
  • Jeremiah Sird as Idiot Indian


The music was composed by Ryan Shore.


  1. ^ Anderson, John (Oct. 23, 2009). "Stan Helsing: A Parody". Variety (Reed Business Information). Retrieved 2009-11-05. 

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