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Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Studio60 HiRes Logo.png
Format Comedy-drama
Created by Aaron Sorkin
Starring Matthew Perry
Bradley Whitford
Amanda Peet
Sarah Paulson
Steven Weber
D. L. Hughley
Nate Corddry
Timothy Busfield
Composer(s) W.G. Snuffy Walden
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 1
No. of episodes 22 (List of episodes)
Executive producer(s) Thomas Schlamme
Aaron Sorkin
Camera setup Single-camera
Running time 43 minutes
Original channel NBC
Original run September 18, 2006 (2006-09-18) – June 28, 2007 (2007-06-28)
External links
Official website

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is an American dramedy television series created and written by Aaron Sorkin. It takes place behind the scenes of a fictional live sketch comedy show (also called Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip or Studio 60) on the fictional television network NBS (National Broadcasting System), whose format is similar to NBC's Saturday Night Live. The fictional show-within-a-show is run by head writer and executive producer Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) and executive producer Danny Tripp (Bradley Whitford).

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip aired on NBC from September 18, 2006 to June 28, 2007.



Major roles

Studio 60 employed a broad ensemble cast that portrayed the rotating personnel involved in the production of a late-night comedy show.

  • Danny Tripp (Bradley Whitford) is a former segment producer for Studio 60 who is asked to return as Director/Executive Producer when Executive Producer Wes Mendell is fired. He works closely with Matt Albie, his longtime friend. He is a recovering drug addict.
  • Matt Albie (Matthew Perry) is a former writer for Studio 60 who takes over production along with longtime friend, Danny Tripp, as Executive Producer and Head Writer. He is also Harriet's on-again-off-again boyfriend.
  • Jordan McDeere (Amanda Peet) is the recently hired President of Entertainment Programming of fictional network National Broadcasting System, of which Studio 60 is the flagship show.
  • Harriet Hayes (Sarah Paulson) is an "effortlessly sexy," "multi-talented"[1] performer, a devout Christian, and one of the "Big Three" main stars of Studio 60. She is also Matt Albie's on-again-off-again girlfriend. She also dated Luke Scott, a former writer at Studio 60 and Matt's rival, now a big-time director. The character of Harriet is partially based on Kristin Chenoweth, whom Sorkin previously dated before she worked on The West Wing.
  • Tom Jeter (Nate Corddry) is another of the show's "Big Three." He is from the Midwest and his brother is serving as an Airman in the USAF deployed in Afghanistan. During the course of the show, he begins dating Lucy, one of the staff writers.
  • Simon Stiles (D. L. Hughley) is the final member of the "Big Three." An alumnus of the Yale School of Drama, his original intention was to become a dramatic actor, rather than a comedian.
  • Jack Rudolph (Steven Weber) is the chairman of the fictional National Broadcasting System, and Jordan's boss. During the course of the show, he and his wife separate.
  • Cal Shanley (Timothy Busfield) is the director of the fictional Studio 60. He has two children and is a military history buff. Busfield has also directed several episodes of the series, as he did for Sports Night.

Secondary roles

  • Jeannie Whatley (Ayda Field) is a member of the show's ensemble. She has close personal friendships with both Matt and Harriet and is a bit of a gossip on the set.
  • Alex Dwyer (Simon Helberg) is a member of the show's ensemble; he is recognized as the complement to Harriet Hayes, being the premiere male impressionist in the cast. He has at least one recurring sketch, The Nicolas Cage Show, in which he plays the title character, and has also portrayed Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller.
  • Dylan Killington (Nate Torrence) is a rookie member of the show's ensemble. Dylan plays a number of different characters in the show-within-a-show. During "Nevada Day Part - II", Simon goes to Nevada with Tom, Danny and Jack; Matt then asks a reluctant Dylan to fill in for Simon in News 60.
  • Samantha Li (Camille Chen) is a member of the show's ensemble.
  • Ricky Tahoe (Evan Handler) is a former co-executive producer of the show and former head of the writers' room. In "The Option Period", he and Ron left Studio 60 to pursue a pilot show for Fox called "Peripheral Vision Man" – based on a character from an old Studio 60 sketch ; Ricky's departure was marked by a hostile shouting match with Matt.
  • Ron Oswald (Carlos Jacott) is a former co-executive producer of the show and former head of the writers' room. In "The Option Period", he left the show with Ricky to pursue a pilot show for Fox called Peripheral Vision Man – based on a character from an old Studio 60 sketch, although his departure was on far more civil terms.
  • Wilson White (Edward Asner) is the head of TMG (Tunney Media Group), the conglomerate that owns the NBS network. He is a principal investor in the Macau deal.
  • Lucy Kenwright (Lucy Davis) is a junior writer on the show and the only pre-Matt and Danny writer to remain after Ricky and Ron's departure. Lucy and Darius were supposed to get their first sketch on the air in "B-12." The sketch was about a bungling hostage taker, but was cancelled when a real-life hostage-taker killed his entire family and then himself just after the show started. During the course of the show, Lucy begins dating Tom Jeter.
  • Darius Hawthorne (Columbus Short) is Matt's assistant writer. Matt and Simon hired Darius after seeing his poor stand-up act in "The Wrap Party." During "The Harriet Dinner" he has fights with Simon because Darius passed a sketch, pitched by Simon, to Lucy.
  • Andy Mackinaw (Mark McKinney) was introduced in "B-12" after Ricky and Ron's departure when Matt needed an extra writer's help. Andy was a writer on Studio 60 prior to Matt and Danny's initial departure from the show. Since that time, Andy's wife and daughter died in a car accident. Andy is very serious negative person, and has only been seen smiling once.
  • Martha O'Dell (Christine Lahti) is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist working on a story for Vanity Fair about the new leadership of Studio 60. She ends up easily uncovering almost every detail of the cast and crew's personal lives. Martha's character is based on the columnist Maureen Dowd, who once dated Sorkin.[2]
  • Suzanne (Merritt Wever) is a former PA on the show who becomes Matt's assistant in the episode "B-12." She confronts Matt about his drug use in the episode "Breaking News."
  • Hallie Galloway (Stephanie Childers) is the Vice President of Alternative Programming (a.k.a. Reality TV) for NBS and has developed an adversarial relationship with Jordan. She first appeared in the episode "Monday." McDeere has expressed her fear that Galloway is being groomed to take her place after the rocky start to McDeere's tenure as President of the network.
  • Mary Tate (Kari Matchett) is a lawyer from fictional law firm Gage Whitney Pace who is hired by NBS and has a love interest in Matt. Between "Breaking News" and "What Kind of Day Has It Been", Mary is used as a second option to get Tom's brother out of the hostage situation.
  • Shelly Green (Wendy Phillips) is Head of Publicity for NBS.

Other appearances

  • Judd Hirsch as Wes Mendell, the creator of Studio 60 who is fired by Jack Rudolph after going on a long on-air rant against the current state of television. Although he has only appeared in the Pilot episode, Wes has been referred to as a big influence on Matt and Danny.
  • Fred Stoller as comedian Lenny Gold in "West Coast Delay." A video came out on the Internet during the show that Studio 60 plagiarized his joke, which results in the cast and crew attempting to break into the West Coast feed to apologize for the plagiarism and produce a new joke.
  • Kim Tao (Julia Ling) guest stars in five episodes ("Nevada Day Part 1," "Nevada Day Part 2," "Monday," "Harriet Dinner Part 1," "Harriet Dinner Part 2") as the viola prodigy who speaks five languages. She is the official translator for her father during the Macau deal. Kim claims to be Tom's biggest fan and because of this, she wants to pursue a career in improvisational comedy against her father's wishes.
  • Eli Wallach appears in "The Wrap Party" as an old mischievous man with an interesting – and familiar – past. Wallach was nominated for an Emmy for this role.
  • John Goodman as a Pahrump, Nevada, judge Robert "Bobby" Bebe in "Nevada Day Part 1" and "Nevada Day Part 2." Goodman was nominated for and won an Emmy for this role.
  • Kevin Eubanks appears as himself in "The Christmas Show."
  • Felicity Huffman appears as herself in "Pilot" as the guest host.
  • Lauren Graham appears as herself in "The Long Lead Story" and "The Wrap Party" as the guest host.
  • Alison Janney appears as herself in "The Disaster Show" as the guest host.

Main crew

Fictional history of the show-within-the-show

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip premiered in 1986, created by veteran comedy writer Wes Mendell, who had written for such comedy greats as the Smothers Brothers, Bill Cosby, and Richard Pryor.

By 1999, Wes had set up a system where he, as head writer, wrote most of his material solo, while assistant head writer Joe was left in charge of the writers’ room, where the rest of the writers would brainstorm and submit ideas they had come up with individually. This was the year in which Wes hired two unknowns who would eventually become members of the “Big Three,” the three most popular and powerful cast members: Yale School of Drama graduate Simon Stiles, and improv veteran Harriet Hayes. Harriet’s addition to the cast was especially important, since it attracted the attention of two freshman writers, Luke Scott and Matthew “Matt” Albie, neither of whom had yet been able to get a sketch on the air. Luke and Matt quickly developed a rivalry for Harriet’s affections, which they expressed partially by writing material specifically for her. Although Luke was the one who succeeded in writing Harriet’s debut sketch, it was Matt Albie whose writing made her a star. Harriet alternately dated both writers, until Luke left, having fallen into Matt’s shadow; Luke soon became a success as a director and writer for motion pictures.

By 2001, Studio 60 had become the flagship show of NBS, impressionist Tom Jeter rounded out the Big Three, and Matt had become enough of a success that he had replaced Joe as asst. head writer. When Wes was temporarily taken out of the picture by a cigarette-related heart attack, he left the show in the hands of Matt and his favorite segment producer, Daniel “Danny” Tripp. Matt & Danny strenuously objected to having to produce a season premiere in the immediate wake of September 11, but their objections were overruled by network chairman Jack Rudolph. Jack gave them strict instructions to stay away from "anti-American" political satire and to focus on Hollywood. Matt wrote an opening sketch satirizing a meeting between Karl Rove and movie executives. Jack objected to the sketch, while Matt defended it because it made fun of Hollywood. Making a deal with Jack, Danny and Matt agreed to pull the sketch if the representatives of their sponsors objected after seeing the dress rehearsal. None of the sponsors objected, the sketch made it onto the show, and there was an immediate conservative backlash. As a result, Jack threatened to fire Matt and Danny unless they apologized for the sketch. They refused to apologize and expected Wes to stand up for their decision. Instead, Wes decided to issue an apology on the show's behalf. Realizing Wes had buckled under perceived pressure from the network, Matt and Danny quit the show.

These decisions caused Wes to begin doubting himself, and by 2006, he had more or less unofficially handed artistic control of the show over to assistant head writers Ricky & Ron, best known for their unfunny recurring sketch “Peripheral Vision Man.” Prolific but untalented, Ricky & Ron led the show into an artistic slump. When Wes tried to shake things up by opening the new season with “Crazy Christians,” a sketch that was written by Matt before he quit, he was overruled by Standards & Practices. Wes responded by interrupting the opening sketch with a live, on-air rant about network sensibilities and how they had sapped the quality out of Studio 60 and television in general. The network, under the leadership of newly appointed president Jordan McDeere, responded by firing Wes and bringing back Danny Tripp as executive producer and Matt Albie as executive producer and head writer.

During their time away from Studio 60 Matt & Danny found success as a writer/director filmmaking team, a success culminating with a WGA award for Matt. Still stung by the betrayal of Wes and angry at Jack for refusing to side with their artistic integrity five years earlier, Matt & Danny nevertheless accepted the job as show runners when Danny failed a drug test and thus could not get insured for their next movie.

Matt’s return to the show reunited him with Harriet, with whom he had recently broken up. This reunion, coupled with Harriet’s casting in Luke’s latest movie, reignited Luke and Matt’s rivalry for Harriet’s affections. Meanwhile, Danny began to develop a romance with Jordan McDeere, who continued to rile Jack with her distaste for unscripted television and commitment to cerebral programming.

In the writing room, Matt benched Ricky & Ron, partially in retaliation for a post-9/11 snub, but mostly because Matt held the nearly-universally shared view that Ricky & Ron were hack writers. Bitter, Ricky & Ron walked out to write for the Fox network production of their optioned Peripheral Vision Man, taking with them all but two of the writing staff. The only writers remaining included Matt as the head writer; the inexperienced Lucy Kenwright, who had never had a sketch on air; and the unsuccessful stand-up comedian Darius Hawthorne, whom Matt had only recently hired in response to Simon’s request for more black writers on the show. Realizing that they desperately needed help, Matt hired veteran Studio 60 writer Andy Mackinaw as a writing advisor. Andy, who had retired from comedy after his family was killed in a car accident, then decided to remain on staff as assistant head writer.

U.S. scheduling

On December 2, 2006, NBC announced that Studio 60 would be sharing the Monday at 10 p.m. timeslot with The Black Donnellys. To accommodate this NBC scheduled Studio 60 to take a 7 week hiatus between December 4, 2006, and January 22, 2007.[4] It was then scheduled to run non-stop until February 26, 2007, when it would take another hiatus.[5]


On February 13, 2007, NBC announced that Studio 60 would go on hiatus one week early and that the last episode would air on February 19, 2007. This is at least partially due to the show delivering its lowest ratings to date on the Monday preceding the announcement.[6]

During the hiatus on NBC, The Black Donnellys (premiered February 26), Thank God You're Here (premiered April 9), The Real Wedding Crashers (premiered April 23, after Thank God You're Here moved to Wednesdays),[7][8] and Law and Order: Criminal Intent (aired its last two episodes of the season starting May 14) occupied the Monday 10 p.m. time period.

On April 2, 2007, NBC announced that Studio 60 would not reclaim its Monday at 10 p.m. time slot at the conclusion of The Black Donnellys run and that The Real Wedding Crashers, a reality show based on the popular movie, would occupy the timeslot from April 23, 2007, through the end of the TV season. However, on April 26, NBC announced that Studio 60 would return from its hiatus on Thursday, May 24, at 10:00 p.m.


Studio 60 was officially canceled on the 11th of May 2007 during the NBC upfront presentation.[9]

Critical and public reaction

Studio 60, previously known as Studio 7 on the Sunset Strip during its development stage (and likely renamed because of Studio 7, a game show which aired on The WB in 2004), was already the subject of much discussion before its first episode had aired. NBC and CBS had staged an intense bidding war for the rights to the show in October 2005, with NBC agreeing to a "near-record license fee" in order to obtain the rights.[10] It was the show most anticipated by media buyers prior to the network upfront presentations, according to MediaLife.[11] Among the online public the show was also highly anticipated, receiving the most online "mentions" and the most positive sentiment of any new 2006 show.[12] The positive reception extended to television critics, who named it their "Best Overall New Program" in a poll conducted by Broadcasting and Cable,[13] based on the pilot episode. In their 2006 year end issue, NY Daily News listed Studio 60 as number 6 on their best "Series of the Year" list, and was also listed in best standout performances as number 9 for Matthew Perry.[14] Glenn Garvin of the Miami Herald named Studio 60 as number 2 on his list of best "Series of the Year."[15] Studio 60 earned a collective rating of 75 out of 100 based on 33 reviews by TV critics and received 8.2 out of 10 from 276 votes by users on Metacritic.[16]

The pilot was seen by an average of 13.4 million total viewers in its initial airing on NBC, although it experienced significant viewer falloff from the first half-hour to the second half-hour,[17] and the second episode's Nielsen ratings were down by 12% from the pilot.[18] The erosion continued through episode 5, with a 43% viewer drop off from its premiere, but subsequently leveled off. (See U.S. television ratings below.)

On October 27, 2006, NBC gave a conditional "vote of confidence" by ordering three additional scripts on top of the initial order of 13.[19] Despite the order, Studio 60 performed poorly in the ratings, which led to speculation that the network was seriously considering canceling the show.

Roger Friedman of Fox News reported on October 30, 2006, that cancellation of the show was imminent.[20] This was denied the next day by an NBC representative who stated that the show "is profitable at this point" and that rather than a cancellation, it is more likely that the show's time slot will change.[21]

On November 9, 2006, NBC announced that the show had been picked up for a full season, citing its favorable demographics as the reason.[22] According to NBC's press release: "Studio 60 has consistently delivered some of the highest audience concentrations among all primetime network series in such key upscale categories as adults 18-49 living in homes with $75,000-plus and $100,000-plus incomes and in homes where the head of household has four or more years of college."

In its December 17, 2006, issue, Time listed Studio 60 as one of "5 Things That Went From Buzz to Bust", sharing the distinction with other "phenomena that captivated the media for a spell, then turned out to be less than huge."[23] Entertainment Weekly named Studio 60 the worst TV show of 2006.[24] Comedy writers have been largely disdainful of Studio 60, with comments like "People in television, trust me, are not that smart", "(Sorkin) wants to get big ideas across and change people's minds. No comedians work that way. They go for the laughs first and the lesson second", and "(Saturday Night Live) is so dark, they could never show what actually happens there."[25]

On July 19, 2007, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences announced their nominations for the 2007 Primetime Emmy awards. Studio 60 was nominated in five categories. The pilot episode earned three nominations: Outstanding Directing (Thomas Schlamme), Outstanding Cinematography For A Single-camera Series, and Outstanding Casting in Dramatic Series. Both John Goodman and Eli Wallach were nominated Outstanding Guest actor in Dramatic Series. Studio 60 Emmy nominations surpassed several other shows, such as Friday Night Lights and Dexter, which got two and three respectively. The show also tied with CSI and 24.

Influences on the show

The pilot both alludes heavily and refers directly to the film Network. In early development, Studio 60's fictional network NBS was called UBS, as was the corporation in Network.

As is typical for Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme, the crew contains a number of people linked to their previous shows (Sports Night and The West Wing). Bradley Whitford, Timothy Busfield, John Goodman, Evan Handler and Matthew Perry all have a history with The West Wing. Busfield directed two episodes of Sports Night as well. The show's first guest host (appearing as herself) is Felicity Huffman, who starred in Sports Night and did a guest spot on The West Wing.

Sorkin draws from his own experience as a writer in creating the characters. In "The Focus Group", Ron mentions, "Nobody can write 90 minutes of television every week by themselves. They'd be dead by the sixth show." Sorkin is known for having singlehandedly written a majority of the episodes during the first four seasons of The West Wing.

The show also uses the now familiar "Walk and Talks" (also called "pedeconferencing" in fan circles) used so frequently in both previous shows as well.

A very peculiar instance is the usage of a joke in episode 10 ("B-12"). In the scene, Matt is telling a joke to Harriet, who then proves to be unable to re-tell it. The exact same joke was used in The West Wing, episode 5 of season 5, wherein Amy Gardner tells Josh Lyman the exact same joke. Although this would not provoke that big of a surprise, since Sorkin wrote The West Wing too, the episode in question was written and produced a long time after Sorkin's departure from the show.

The Harriet/Matt relationship is based on Sorkin's relationship with Kristin Chenoweth, who played Annabeth Schott on The West Wing.[26] In Studio 60's pilot, one of the reasons that Matt and Harriet broke up was Harriet's decision to appear on The 700 Club to support her Christian music album. In 2005, Chenoweth made a similar appearance on The 700 Club, sparking a negative reaction from some of her gay fans because of the views of 700 Club host Pat Robertson.[27] Unlike Matt and Harriet, Sorkin and Chenoweth did not work together on The West Wing. Sorkin left after The West Wing's fourth season and Chenoweth joined the cast during season six.

The Jordan McDeere character is loosely based on former ABC Entertainment President Jamie Tarses, who is a consultant on the show.[28]

The conflict between NBS and the Federal Communications Commission regarding uncensored language of American soldiers in Afghanistan parallels the decision by a small number of PBS affiliates to air the documentary Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience in full, despite potentially hefty FCC fines for unedited obscenities used by American soldiers describing their experiences in Iraq.[29]

Television ratings

Standard ratings

Ratings are a mechanism for advertisers to gauge how many people viewed their commercial. They only measure viewers at the initial airing of an episode; they do not reflect a show's quality, or any repeat viewings on alternate media. Weekly rankings based on Fast National ratings.[30][31][32][33]

Season One (2006–2007)
# Episode Air Date Rating Share 18–49 Viewers Rank
1 "Pilot""Pilot" 01September 18, 2006 8.6 14 5.0 13.14 # 22
2 "Cold Open, The""The Cold Open" 02September 25, 2006 7.5 12 4.4 10.82 # 33
3 "Focus Group, The""The Focus Group" 03October 2, 2006 6.0 10 3.5 8.85 # 47
4 "West Coast Delay, The""The West Coast Delay" 04October 9, 2006 5.8 9 3.8 8.66 # 51
5 "Long Lead Story, The""The Long Lead Story" 05October 16, 2006 5.3 8 3.1 7.74 # 55
6 "Wrap Party, The""The Wrap Party" 06October 23, 2006 5.1 8 3.2 7.72 # 60
7 "Nevada Day (1)""Nevada Day (1)" 07November 6, 2006 4.8 8 3.3 7.67 # 56
8 "Nevada Day (2)""Nevada Day (2)" 08November 13, 2006 5.0 8 3.2 7.58 # 58
9 "Option Period, The""The Option Period" 09November 20, 2006 4.7 8 3.1 7.17 # 60
10 "B-12""B-12" 10November 27, 2006 4.8 8 3.3 7.27 # 60
11 "Christmas Show, The""The Christmas Show" 11December 4, 2006 4.9 8 3.0 7.33 # 52
12 "Monday""Monday" 12January 22, 2007 5.3 8 3.2 7.25 # 48
13 "Harriet Dinner – Part I, The""The Harriet Dinner – Part I" 13January 29, 2007 4.8 7 3.0 6.86 # 53
14 "Harriet Dinner – Part II, The""The Harriet Dinner – Part II" 14February 5, 2007 4.6 7 3.2 7.00 # 59
15 "Friday Night Slaughter,The""The Friday Night Slaughter" 15February 12, 2007 4.3 7 2.8 6.39 # 68
16 "4AM Miracle""4AM Miracle" 16February 19, 2007 4.1 7 2.6 6.10 # 63
17 "Disaster Show, The""The Disaster Show" 17May 24, 2007 2.7 5 1.7 3.90 # 76
18 "Breaking News""Breaking News" 18May 31, 2007 2.9 5 1.6 4.08 n/a
19 "K&R - Part 1""K&R" 19June 7, 2007 3.1 5 1.7 4.35 # 66
20 "K&R - Part 2""K&R - Part II" 20June 14, 2007 3.0 6 1.7 4.25 n/a
21 "K&R - Part 3""K&R - Part III" 21June 21, 2007 3.0 5 1.8 4.42 # 53
22 "What Kind of Day Has It Been""What Kind of Day Has It Been" 22June 28, 2007 2.7 5 2.0 4.20 n/a

Key: Rating is the estimated percentage of all TVs tuned to the show, share is the percentage of all TVs in use that are tuned in. Viewers is the estimated number of actual people watching, in millions, while ranking is the approximate ranking of the show against all prime-time TV shows for the week (Monday through the following Sunday).

While the show premiered with high ratings, there was a large drop during the second half. This trend has continued through nearly every episode of the show.

Chart showing ratings, 18-49 ratings, share and viewers for the show.

Seasonal ratings

Seasonal rankings (based on average total viewers per episode) of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on NBC:[34]

Note: Each U.S. network television season starts in late September and ends in late May, which coincides with the completion of May sweeps.

Season Timeslot (EDT) Series Premiere Series Finale TV Season Rank Viewers
(in millions)
18-49 Rating/Share
1 Monday 10:00 P.M. (September 18, 2006 - February 19, 2007)
Thursday 10:00 P.M. (May 24, 2007 - June 28, 2007)[35]
September 18, 2006 June 28, 2007 2006-2007 #61 8.5 3.6/9 (#41)

DVR ratings

On December 29, 2006, Nielsen Media Research reported the results of having, for the first time, monitored viewers who use a Digital Video Recorder to pre-record shows for later viewing. According to the Nielsen numbers, adding these viewers increased Studio 60's ratings the most in percentage terms of all network shows. These ratings, called "live plus seven", include all viewers who use a DVR to record the show and then watch it within a week of its initial airing.

According to Nielsen, Studio 60 adds nearly 11%, or almost a million viewers, to its total every week as a result of these "live plus seven" viewers.[36]

According to Medialife Magazine, "The live-plus-seven-day rating for NBC’s “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip” is 136% higher than its live rating in DVR homes."[37]



  • Broadcasting and Cable pool — Best Overall New Program.



Alternative availability

Studio 60 was one of a group of NBC shows during its season, some new and some returning, which was available on one or both of NBC's online forums for alternative distribution of television: free with commercials on and, and for pay download without commercials at and the iTunes Store. Studio 60 was also added as a download option via the Xbox 360 video download service. There is no published record of its popularity at the NBC website or on the Xbox, but several Studio 60 episodes have been among the ten most popular on iTunes. The Studio 60 season pass has also steadily remained in the Top 20 since it was made available. The first nine episodes of Studio 60 were also made available on the launch of Xbox Live Media Downloads in fall of 2006, and the service continues to offer the new episodes weekly (3–4 days after the airdate). All episodes of the program have also been made available on CTV's online broadband network. Episodes are currently being added to the Channel 4's 4oD, a broadband on-demand service, in the UK, as the episodes are broadcast on More 4.

Early release

NBC made the pilot episode of Studio 60 available on DVD to Netflix subscribers on August 5, 2006. The DVD also includes the pilot episode for Kidnapped, another show which aired on NBC in the fall and also got canceled. AOL also premiered the first episode of Studio 60 in its entirety on its online television channel.

The pilot episode was screened to the general public for the first time at the 31st MediaGuardian Edinburgh International Television Festival, a British industry and media event held annually over the August bank holiday weekend (25–27 August 2006). The pilot episode was screened outdoors on a "giant billboard style screen" in Conference Square, next to the Edinburgh International Conference Centre.[38]

DVD release

On June 27, 2007, the day before the airing of the show's final episode, Warner Home Video announced an October 16 release date for the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip: Complete Series DVD set.[39]

See also


  1. ^ Sorkin, Aaron. ""Studio 7 on the Sunset Strip"". Retrieved October 12, 2006. 
  2. ^ Susman, Gary. "Infectious Laughter". Entertainment Weekly.,6115,1563534_3_0_,00.html. Retrieved 2007-04-28. 
  3. ^
  4. ^,
  5. ^, ratings
  6. ^, news
  7. ^ " on the Wedding Crashers".,0,692816.story?track=rss. 
  8. ^ "E! Online on shows likely to return". ,
  9. ^
  10. ^ Adalian, Josef (2005-10-14). "Peacock on 'Studio' beat". Daily Variety. Retrieved 2006-09-03. 
  11. ^ Downey, Kevin (2006-03-31). "The hot pre-upfront buzz: 'Studio 60'". Media Life Magazine. Retrieved 2006-09-03. 
  12. ^ Consoli, John (2006-07-10). "NBC Best On Buzzmeter Web Study". MediaWeek. Archived from the original on 2007-03-24. Retrieved 2006-09-03. 
  13. ^ Grossman, Ben (2006-09-04). "Fall Harvest". Broadcasting & Cable. Retrieved 2006-09-03. 
  14. ^
  15. ^ Glenn Garvin (2006-12-24). "2006's most memorable moments: The year in movies, music, television, visual arts, fashion, performing arts and architecture". Miami Herald. Archived from the original on 2007-09-29. Retrieved 2007-01-10. 
  16. ^ "Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip". Metacritic. Retrieved 2007-09-18. 
  17. ^ Collins, Scott (2006-09-25). "Falloff: The numbers could spell trouble for NBC's 'Studio 60'". Relish Now!. Archived from the original on 2007-09-30.!entertainment!television&s=1037645508994. Retrieved 2006-09-26. 
  18. ^ Lisotta, Christopher (2006-09-26). "NBC Wins Monday in Adults 18 to 49; 'Heroes' Soars". TV Week. Retrieved 2006-09-26. 
  19. ^ Mitovich, Matt Webb (2006-10-27). "Good-ish news for Studio 60, The Nine, Two Others". TV Guide. Retrieved 2006-11-09. 
  20. ^ Friedman, Roger (2006-11-03). "'Studio 60' Cancellation Imminent". Fox News.,2933,226092,00.html. Retrieved 2006-11-09. 
  21. ^ Goetzl, David (2006-10-31). " Columnist Gets It Wrong, NBC Says 'Studio 60' Stays Onboard". MediaDailyNews. Retrieved 2006-11-09. 
  22. ^ NBC (2006-11-09). "NBC Gives Full Season Order To Critically Acclaimed New Drama 'Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip' For 2006-07". Press release. Retrieved 2006-11-09. 
  23. ^ Grossman, Lev (2006-12-17). "5 Things That Went From Buzz to Bust".,9171,1570831,00.html. Retrieved 2006-12-21. 
  24. ^ "The Worst". Entertainment Weekly.,,20006523,00.html. Retrieved 2007-02-11. 
  25. ^ "Comedy writers aren’t laughing about '60'". Los Angeles Times. Retrieved 2008-08-02. 
  26. ^ Carter, Bill (2006-09-11). "'West Wing' to West Coast: TV's Auteur Portrays TV". New York Times. Retrieved 2006-10-25. 
  27. ^ Rosenblum, Emma (2006-09-11). "The Not Ready for Prime Time Playoff". New York Magazine. Retrieved 2006-10-30. 
  28. ^ "Jordan McDeere bio". Retrieved 2008-12-23. 
  29. ^ Jensen, Elizabeth (2007-04-13). "Some PBS Stations Plan to Show War Film Uncensored". New York Times. Retrieved 2007-04-15. 
  30. ^ Zap2It Ratings: Rating and Share.
  31. ^ Calendar Live Ratings: Viewers and Rankings.
  32. ^ NY Post: Unfavourable New York Post Article
  33. ^ "Media Life Magazine (18-49 numbers)". 
  34. ^ "Hollywood Reporter: 2006-07 primetime wrap". May 25, 2007. 
  35. ^ Episodes 17-22 (Episodes shown at Thursday 10:00 P.M.) are not included in these rating due to them being aired during the summer season
  36. ^ "'Studio 60' Gets Bump from DVRs: NBC series is most 'time-shifted' of season". Zap2it. 2006-12-29.,0,4559331.story?coll=zap-tv-mainheadline. Retrieved 2007-01-16. 
  37. ^ "Just why the scuffle over DVR viewing". MediaLife Magazine. 2006-11-09. Retrieved 2007-02-19. 
  38. ^ "Screening: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip". mediaguardian. Retrieved 2006-09-01. 
  39. ^ "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - October Release Date - Cost & Extras for The Complete Series". Retrieved 2007-06-27. 
  1. NBC reacts to ratings slide

External links

Matt Albie | Danny Tripp | Jordan McDeere | Harriet Hayes
Tom Jeter | Simon Stiles | Jack Rudolph | Cal Shanley
Ricky Tahoe | Ron Oswald | Wes Mendell | Martha O'Dell
Jeannie Whatley | Samantha Li | Alex Dwyer | Dylan Killington
Darius Hawthorne | Lucy Kenwright | Andy Mackinaw | Wilson White
Key Creators Aaron Sorkin | Thomas Schlamme | W. G. Snuffy Walden


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (2006–2007) is an NBC television series, created by Aaron Sorkin, that offers a behind-the-scenes look at a fictional sketch-comedy TV show.


Season 1

Pilot [1.01]

Wes: Ah, this is not going to be a very good show tonight. And I think you should change the channel. Change the channel, go on, right now... or better yet, turn off the TV, okay? No, I know it seems like this is supposed to be funny, but tomorrow you’re gonna find out that it wasn’t and by that time I’ll have been fired. No, this is… this is not… this is not a sketch. This show used to be cutting edge political and social satire, but it’s gotten lobotomized by a candy-ass broadcast network hell-bent on doing nothing that might challenge their audience. We’re about to do a sketch that you’ve seen already about 500 times. Yeah, no one’s gonna confuse George Bush with George Plimpton. Yeah, we get it. We’re all being lobotomized by this country’s most influential industry that’s just throwing in the towel on any endeavor to do anything that doesn’t include the courting of 12 year old boys. And not even the smart 12 year olds. The stupid ones. The idiots. Which there are plenty, thanks in no small measure to this network, so why don’t you just change the channel? Turn off your TVs, do it right now, go ahead.... A struggle between art and commerce. Well, there’s always been a struggle between art and commerce. And now I’m telling you art is getting its ass kicked. And it’s making us mean, and it’s making us bitchy. It’s making us cheap punks. That’s not who we are! People are having contests to see how much they can be like Donald Trump?... We’re eating worms for money. Who wants to screw my sister? Guys are getting killed in a war that’s got theme music and a logo? That remote in your hand is a crack pipe. [monitors] Oh yeah, every once in a while we pretend to be appalled.... Pornographers! It’s not even good pornography. They’re just this side of snuff films. And friends, that’s what’s next because that’s all that’s left. And the two things that make them scared gutless are the FCC and every psycho religious cult that gets positively horny at the very mention of a boycott. These are the people they’re afraid of – this prissy, feckless, off-the-charts, greed-filled whorehouse of a network. And you’re watching this thoroughly unpatriotic Mother-
Cal: Go to VTR, now!

Harriet: You know what, rook? When you start making a contribution to this show, you can talk to me any way you want. But you had two lines tonight and you stepped on one of them. So until you either accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior or make somebody laugh, why don’t you talk to somebody else?

[Matt and Danny have been offered the job of leading the show.]
Matt: Are you people using the confidential information that Danny failed a drug test to force him into taking over Studio 60 to deflect attention from what happened on the air tonight?
Jack: He failed a drug test?
Jordan: Yeah, actually Matt, I was the only one who knew about that. Should have trusted me a little, Danny.
Matt: [to Danny] Sorry about that, that one was all me.
Danny: Yeah.
Matt: [turning to everyone] Ironically, I'm the one who's high as a paper kite right now. But legitimately. I had back surgery on Tuesday. L-5/S-1, if that means anything to you. Stop talking now? You bet.

Danny: I have no reason to trust you and every reason not to.
Jordan: Why?
Danny: You work in television.

Jack: [to Jordan] You saw how fast I fired Wes Mendell? Screw this up and I'll fire you faster. I'm not like every other heterosexual man in show business, Jordan. I don't find you charming. And you've earned the loyalty of absolutely no one. So you go ahead and take your first steps towards making us classy again. We've been waiting for you.

The Cold Open [1.02]

Reporter: Jordan, can you describe the reaction of NBS executives Friday night when Wes described the network as "a candy-assed network" and "a greed-filled whorehouse of a network"?
Jordan: Pleased and proud, as you can imagine. Until we realized he wasn't talking about Fox, he was talking about us.

[The press questions the team about Danny's drug history.]
Reporter: Jordan, did you know about this when you hired him?
Jordan: I can't remember, I was high at the time.

[Matt addresses his writing team.]
Matt: One of the things this show does is decide what's cool, and I've just decided it's no longer cool for grown men to dress as if they're in junior high school. We're going to act, dress, talk, write and behave professionally.
[Harriet bursts through the door.]
Harriet: You are an adolescent, oversexed, whore-monger with the sensitivity of a head of cabbage!
Matt: And all that will begin in just a few minutes.

[Jack approaches Jordan in the studio as the new show is about to air, quoting fictional newsman Lou Grant.]
Jack: You know what, Mary? You got spunk.
Jack & Jordan: I hate spunk.
. . .
Jack: They never lose, Jordan. They always win.
Jordan: And they might this time, but I'm not going down in the first round. And if the ratings go up, the sponsors who dropped out, we'll welcome them back in — at 120% of the cost of the original ad buy. We're going to be the first network to charge a coward fee.
Jack: [to himself] I hate spunk.

The Cast: [singing to "I am the very model of a modern Major-General"]
We'll be the very model of a modern network TV show.
Each time that we walk into this august and famous studio
We're starting out from scratch after a run of 20 years, and so
We hope that you don't mind that our producer was caught doing blow.

The Focus Group [1.03]

[Ron and Ricky enter Matt's office during a power outage.]
Ron: Matt...
Matt: Well, we need to find out why this is happening.
Ricky: Yep.
Matt: Electricity plays a pretty big role in what we're trying to do.

[Harriet, Simon, and Tom are arguing over the "News 60" material.]
Harriet: God loves me, and hates the both of you.
Simon: Prove it.
[The lights come back on all at once.]
Simon: Okay, seriously, I'm scared out of my mind.
Tom: Yeah. That was strange.
Harriet: Alright. Moving on...

[Matt worries about a focus-group report that criticizes the show's patriotism.]
Danny: They want to see you take fewer whacks at Bush, and it looks like they're getting their wish. So throw it out.
Matt: It's four years ago, all over again.
Danny: What did you think it was going to be?
Matt: Four years later. And by the way, I'd be happy to take shots at the Democrats, too, if only one of them would say or do something!

[At the power goes out again, Cal reports to Danny.]
Danny: Are they fixing it?
Cal: In a manner of speaking, yeah.
Danny: What does that mean?
Cal: They don't know how to fix it.

[Danny is sitting on Matt's chest after a struggle on the beach.]
Matt: Are people looking at us right now?
Danny: I think they are.
Matt: Well, could you punch me in the face or something, 'cause to a casual observer this appears a little homoerotic for my comfort.
Danny: I definitely hear you on that.

The West Coast Delay [1.04]

Harriet: You know, where I grew up, if this had happened, there'd be a town meeting, and everybody'd be there. And the guy would have to sit and listen while Reverend Tillinghouse gave a sermon on honesty and character.
Simon: That's exactly what would happen where I grew up, except we'd've driven by the guy's house and shot him with a GAT-9.
Harriet: See, there's more that unites us than divides us.

Danny: Things happen around here. People blowing smoke out of their office windows at night?!
Jordan: Tell me no one is getting high in this building, Danny.
Danny: You're shocked that drugs are a part of late night comedy? The Coneheads, Toonces the Driving Cat? You think Belushi and Farley died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
Jordan: Tell me it's not happening here.
Danny: It's not happening here.

[Harriet gives Matt a gift — a baseball bat which a player had given to her.]
Matt: He wrote his phone number on here. You didn't see it?
Harriet: That's his phone number?
Matt: What did you think it was?
Harriet: I just thought it was his uniform number. You know, they sign their name, and then write the number…
Matt: Yeah, they do… do that. You thought his uniform number was 3 billion, 106 million, 786 thousand, 5? Hun— he was asking you out.

Ron: The guy hadn't gotten anything on the air in a long time and was scared for his job. We talked to him and in no uncertain terms, he screwed up huge and he knows it. But I'm not gonna end his career over it. Cause I know how he feels. That's why we misled you and told you it was written by the room. People aren't even going for funny anymore, Matt. They're just trying for your respect. Anyway, we told Danny. We'll step down if you want, but we're not giving him up.
Matt: Well, now you've got my respect.

Harriet: Look skipper, if I wanted to make you jealous trust me you'd be jealous.
Matt: I am jealous!
Harriet: Well then, bonus for me.

The Long Lead Story [1.05]

Matt: What are you writing about, Martha?
Martha: I don't know yet. I know that half this country hates the other half, and I know that, for 90 minutes a week, you and Harriet come together.

Tom: [to rehearsal audience] Danny Tripp has just gone upstairs to Matt Albie's office, where the two of them will very quickly decide what makes it into the show tonight. We call this "the Friday night slaughter." This is where you find out if you have the chance to be the next Bill Murray, or the next Domino's Pizza delivery guy.

Harriet: Well, everyone here's a big fan of yours, Martha.
Martha: Really? How would I be referred to in your parents' house?
Harriet: The Devil's whore from Washington.
Martha: Yeah...I'm really the Devil's whore from Bethesda.

Martha: Sting is in the building right now?
Harriet: He's on stage.
Martha: Sting is upstairs, playing a lute.
Harriet: You want to go watch?
Martha: Harriet, you're interesting but... get out of my way!

Harriet: It's a beautiful instrument.
Martha: Sting? Or the lute?

The Wrap Party [1.06]

[In the studio, a tipsy Jordan explains to Cal that she's avoiding her boss, Jack.]
Jordan: So, I'm hiding here tonight. This is like, for me, Superman's Dome of Pleasure.
Cal: Fortress of Solitude?
Jordan: Yes!
Cal: Well, enjoy yourself.
Jordan: I believe I will!

Jeannie: How do you feel about Darren?
Harriet: I'm crazy about him, and I'll tell you why.
Jeannie: He's a professional athlete and has the body of one?
Harriet: No. It's because he's the anti-Matt. Darren is the anti-Matt! He's not snide, he's not smug, he's not superior — he goes to church! — he works with his hands…
Jeannie: Well, he's not a rancher. He's a middle-reliever for the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Harriet: I'm saying he is, by and large, unburdened by….what?
Jeannie: Thought?
Harriet: He thinks.
Jeannie: About what?
Harriet: I'm looking forward to discovering that tonight.

[Tom is dismayed about his parents' imminent visit to the studio.]
Tom: I'm gonna show them around the studio, and when we say goodnight, I swear to God, my father's gonna ask me if I need any money, and it is going to take everything I've got not to point out to him I could buy his house four times and turn it into my ping-pong room.
Simon: I would resist that urge.

[After the show, Danny is trying to deflect annoyed host Lauren Graham when Matt enters the office.]
Lauren Graham: Why did you cut my sketch?
Matt: It wasn't funny.
Lauren Graham: I thought it was funny.
Matt: I thought the writing was funny, but that you weren't very good.
Lauren Graham: Really? 'Cause I thought the writing was one unbearably long set up for a jingle.
Matt: And that's why I cut the sketch. You were in a number of wonderful sketches tonight, including a hilarious send-up of your character on Calico Gals.
Lauren Graham: Gilmore Girls.
Danny: I wrote it down for you!

Jack: You see it as part of your job to screw with my company, don't you?
Danny: No! I do not. That's just one of the perks.

Nevada Day, Part 1 [1.07]

Matt: Half the shows in prime time start with two strippers getting strangled after a lap dance, and that's fine with me but if it's also fine with Jesus then I don't see the need to tiptoe around his name.

Matt: It's one thing to be asked to respect someone else's religion, it's another to be asked to respect their taboos. In my religion it's disrespectful to God not to keep your head covered. You don't see me insisting that the cast of CSI:Miami wear yarmulkas.
Danny: That'd be an unusual creative direction for CSI:Miami.

Jack: [about Jordan] She delights in tweaking the religious community every bit as much as Matt does…
Danny: That is not true. No one delights in tweaking the religious community nearly as much as Matt does.

Harriet: [about an interview] I said the Bible says it's a sin. It also says judge not lest ye be judged, and that it was something for smarter people than me to decide.
Matt: "Ye" is a word you don't hear a lot.
Harriet: How do you manage to see every piece of my press?
Matt: We have a press department, I get a daily press packet. They highlight what they want me to see - this one got a highlight, an arrow and a sticker!
Harriet: Well, as I said, they left out the second sentence.
Matt: Yeah, can I ask you something? Does your ass hurt from straddling the fence like that all the time?

Harriet: I don't even know what the sides are in the culture war.
Matt: Well, your side hates my side because you think we think you're stupid, and my side hates your side because we think you're stupid.

Nevada Day, Part 2 [1.08]

[Jordan tries to get Harriet to cancel upcoming concerts for Women United.]
Harriet: Young girls attend these events. They admire me. I'm in a position to show them that Christianity has a nicer voice than Ann Coulter's.
Jordan: Carol Channing has a nicer voice than Ann Coulter's.

Jordan: [answering her cell phone] Hello?
Danny: Danny.
Jordan: Danny who?
Danny: Danny Tripp!
Jordan: I know. I was just being dry. Why don't people ever get that?
Danny: Well, for one thing—
Jordan: And then I was being rhetorical!

Darius: Can I ask you something?
Lucy: Yes.
Darius: Sometimes I hear people call another people "sir". There doesn't seem to be a pattern as to when and who, and I don't wanna be impolite, but I don't wanna look like an idiot either, so... who gets called "sir"?
Lucy: I'm working on a sketch right now.
Darius: OK.
Lucy: There are no rules to it. It'll come naturally, like calling a conductor "maestro" when he is in the vicinity of the podium. You know, we get to Friday night, the more we hear Matt and Danny called "sir". Cal, too, department heads, anybody who deserves it. It's not a big deal.
Darius: Ok. [pause] Is this is a "white people" thing or what?
Lucy: I'm not white, Darius, I'm English.
Darius: [laughs] Put that line in the damn sketch.

Harriet: Shut up, you live off Mulholland, there are other streets in the country where marriage is still important.
Matt: It's important off of Mulholland too, but let me ask you something how is my marriage, your marriage, or anyone else's marriage even marginally affected by the gay couple two doors down from them also getting married, and if it does, how is that their problem?

Harriet: [to Matt] You know what? When George Michael does some guy in a bathroom, or Woody Allen marries his daughter, or a child molester gets an Oscar nomination, it doesn't really give Hollywood a lot of moral authority on sexual behavior.

The Option Period [1.09]

[Cal tears into Ricky and Ron about the just-ending show running 37 seconds short.]
Cal: Danny had to have Jessica Simpson fill. Nice girl, nice performer — don't want her to extemporize on our air. She had time to thank her pets, and then she asked us all to pray for peace in the Midwest.
Ron: [laughing] I'm sure she meant the Middle East.

[Matt runs through his own show criticisms with Danny.]
Danny: I'll tell ya, considering me and half the cast spend most of the day in Pahrump, Nevada, I thought it was a pretty good show.
Matt: Yeah?
Danny: I did.
Matt: Indiana? Illinois? Missouri? Are rebel forces gathering?
Danny: No.
Matt: Then why are we praying for peace in the Midwest?
Danny: Girl's nice to look at.
[Jordan arrives with some ironic congratulations.]
Jordan: I saw the end… and I think we should all take a moment to consider the suffering in Des Moines.

Harriet: People knock on closed doors in America! Were the two of you raised on a farm?!
Tom: I was.
Simon: I was raised over a heroin dealership.
Harriet: That's no excuse for bad manners.

Matt: I am psyched for this photo-shoot of yours.
Harriet: I want to commission a scientific study of how news travels in this building!
Matt: Hey, I'm not even sure there's such a thing as the Internet. It might just be Jeannie telling everyone stuff.

B-12 [1.10]

Danny: Did you read Martha O'Dell's column on Tuesday?
Suzanne: Yes.
Danny: Do you agree that it's terrible that she sourced an anonymous web-posting to support her point?
Suzanne: I liked the piece.
Danny: Never disagree with me.
Suzanne: It made me sick.

Danny: It took a lot of convincing, but Suzanne's agreed to be your assistant.
Matt: Yeah?
Suzanne: If you'll take me.
Matt: I'll take the hell out of you.
Suzanne: Is there a way you'd like me to dress?
Matt: Sure, but I have to wake up for school now.

[Matt once again jokingly reminds Danny that he can't have a B-12 shot if he's pregnant.]
Danny: You know, Chevy Chase woke up one day and just wasn't funny anymore.

Jordan: Don't let the nurse give me the shot! [Danny re-enters, having gone to fetch the nurse]
Danny/Jordan: You're/I'm Pregnant.

The Christmas Show [1.11]

[In a doctor's waiting room, Danny to Jordan from a magazine titled Expectant.]
Danny: If you were over 35, then what we gotta do is stick a needle about half a foot into your stomach, and get some fluid from your pre-natal girth.
Jordan: Why are you here?
Danny: Morale.
Jordan: I really don't need help.
Danny: Not now, but you will soon, 'cause this says you gonna have to make a journey of 1200 miles to bury your eggs in the warm mud.
Jordan: Danny....
Danny: Wait, that can't be you.
Jordan: (snickering) No.
Danny: It's an Alaskan King Crab that does that.

[In the examining room, Danny snipes about the father of Jordan's baby.]
Jordan: This is the time for a lecture?
Danny: No, that was about twelve weeks ago. By the way, did you and the last honest man get loaded on Jägermeister and forgot that there's like five hundred different kinds of birth control?

Doctor: Have you told anyone?
Jordan: Just my assistant, Kevin. That's it.
Doctor: And… Mr. Tripp?
Jordan: I had to tell him.
Danny: She wanted to.
Jordan: I was semi-conscious. I had to make sure he wasn't gonna force a B-12 injection on me.
Doctor: You've just described the beginning of every great love story.

[Matt plops down a tiny mounted pine on the writers' conference table.]
Andy: What are you, Linus?
Matt: Yes. Yes I am. I carry with me the true meaning of Christmas.
Darius: You carry with you a dead Christmas tree.
Matt: All Christmas trees are dead,they've been cut down.

Danny: I've been married twice before, and I'm a recovering cocaine addict, and I know that's no woman's dream of a man — or of a father. Nonetheless, I believe I'm falling in love with you. If you wanna run I understand. But you better get a good head start, 'cause I'm coming for you, Jordan.
[A squirrel-cheeked Jordan stares at him, speechless.]
Danny: You should go ahead and chew that sandwich now.

Monday [1.12]

Jack: Ted, believe me, I wish this was a fight for ethics. I wish this was a conversation about the integrity of the news. But it's not. It's about preventing ourselves from being a laughingstock.
Atkins: Well, I don't feel like a laughingstock.
Jack: That's only because you're a moron.
Atkins: Wilson, you're backing up what he said?
Wilson: Yes - including and especially your being a moron.

Matt: Twelve hundred dollars I gotta give to abstinence people?
Suzanne: Twelve hundred and one.
Matt: Alright, do it, and can you find me some non-profit organization that fundamentally does the opposite of what these guys do, so I can donate an equal amount to them, and make it a wash?
Suzanne: That means an organization that encourages people to have sex?
Matt: It's L.A. You should be able to throw a rock and hit one.

The Harriet Dinner, Part 1 [1.13]

[Stuck on the roof with Danny, Jordan can't understand why he's so upset about Harriet's premature "funny voice" promo.]
Jordan: It's not the end of the world!
Danny: No, it's not. But it's a continuation of the one-sheet world.
Jordan: What's a one-sheet world?
Danny: You know, a movie poster, a one-sheet. "I think we'll do the Green Lantern — I can see the one-sheet now. Don't worry that we don't have a story — we're gonna make all our money before word-of-mouth can kill us, anyway." We elect Presidents the same way. "He's got a big name, he'll raise money, he'll get the nomination! We'll teach him how to be President later!"

Sam: Yeah, what's going on with Danny and Jordan?
Harriet: I don't know, we should talk about it a little closer to the microphones.

The Harriet Dinner, Part 2 [1.14]

Jordan: You've never been rejected by a woman before?
Danny: Not this many times by the same woman in one night.

Danny: I've been locked up on a roof with a deadly viper in my studio, and it's been the best night of my life, because I was with you. I wasn't going to lose interest in four months.

Zhang Tao: Oh, her mother will take care of that.
Jack: You speak English?
Zhang Tao: I speak a few words.
Jack: How many words?
Zhang Tao: All of them.
Jack: Why do you pretend you can't speak English?
Zhang Tao: It's fun.
Jack: It's fun?! [pause] Yeah. Guess it would be.

The Friday Night Slaughter [1.15]

Jordan: (on the phone with Danny) Hi, this is Jordan McDeere. I'm the President of NBS west coast entertainment.
Danny: Yes ma'am.
Jordan: I'm concerned that not enough of your cameras are aimed at her chest.
Danny: Well, I got all four of them working. But this is just dress. If you want I can bring in some IMAX equipment tonight.
Jordan: This is what you like, huh?
Danny: Me?, and I'll tell you why. Because she's TOO sexy.
Jordan: My hormones are like a Los Alamos experiment right now.
Danny: What does that mean?
Jordan: Get the cameras off her chest!!

Matt: I went down there to pitch her a sketch about a Christian Radio Host, and it turns out, she's a Christian.
Luke: I'm a Christian.
Matt: Yeah, but she's like...ya know...a member!
Luke: Really?
Matt: What were the odds of that? I'd say the last two places I'd expect to find a member of the Christian right are the corridors of Studio 60 and a synagogue.
Luke: Did you offend her?
Matt: I couldn't have offended her more if I re-crucified her savior, it was stunning!

Tom: It's gotta be soon, right?
Dylan: Yeah
Tom: I'm feeling the good vibe
Dylan: Yeah
Tom: I'll tell you this, if it doesn't make it to air, it sure wasn't your fault
Dylan: It sure wasn't your fault
Tom: You owned it
Dylan: You owned it
Tom: You got a receipt for it my man.
Dylan: You're Tom Jeter. No more need to be said.
Tom: You could've picked up the pace a little
Dylan: Yeah. Maybe a little less mugging from you.
Tom:(forcefully) No. No. This is what they want. To turn us against each other.
Dylan: You never mug man.
Tom: Your pacing is genius.
(Tom sees Andy approaching)
Tom: Here comes Andy. He'll make us feel better.
(They both start walking towards Andy)
Tom: Hey Andy!
(Andy gives them a nod of recognition as they approach him)
Andy: You graceless homicidal bastards. I think if you go check the stage you'll find jokes lying on the floor where you left them to die.
Tom: (pointing to Dylan) It was his pacing.
Andy: Should someone have indicated to you on a map where Canada was? Because your Canadian accent...
Tom: Too much?
Andy: It was Mexican.
Tom: This is the longest they've ever taken to decide.
Andy: In the old days, if your sketch didn't make it on the air, they used to send you downstairs naked, to sell lemon drinks shrouded only in your failure. And you'd have to explain to the patrons why you weren't good enough.
Dylan: There used to be a naked lemon drink salesman?
Tom: Yeah.
Andy: That's right!

4 AM Miracle [1.16]

[Jordan shows Danny her "practice" Real Care Baby.]
Jordan: It just told me I'd stuffed it in a Prada bag!
Danny: The real baby's gonna do that, too.
Jordan: Yeah, but now I know not to… you know…
Danny: Stuff the baby in a bag?
Jordan: Yeah!
Danny: You knew that before!
Jordan: Now I can practice comforting.
Danny: You turned it off with a remote.
. . .
Danny: I know you're nervous, and… God understands that. So he made the first year an on-ramp. Okay? You're not up to full speed, you're just merging with other traffic.
Jordan: You know how many times I've busted my car merging with other traffic?
Danny: Alright, you don't… drive… the baby. Ever.

[Danny is horrified at the results of Cal and Tom's test of a prop guillotine with the practice baby.]
Cal: They're supposed to be indestructible.
Danny: Yeah, they are, unless you drop an 80-pound hydraulic axe on their head.
. . .
Danny: … it's Jordan's, and she bet me that I couldn't keep it alive, and I was doing fine until Sacco and Vanzetti decided to CHOP THE BABY'S HEAD OFF!

The Disaster Show [1.17]

Cal: We can't air the dress tonight.
Jack: Why not?
Cal: We record the signal in RGB, we were missing the B.
Jack: You didn't record the color blue at the dress!?

Cal: (referencing the teenagers who'd just called in a fake threat to the building)Can we determine if there actually is a bomb in the building?
Jack: I trust them, but just in case why don't we handcuff them to the building overnight.

Robbie: (About the bomb threat) Why wasn't it on the news?
Jack: It's Friday night!
Robbie: Aren't bomb threats a big deal?
Jack: You'd think so, wouldn't you?

Breaking News [1.18]

(Danny has just learned that Matt has been taking pills to get high)
Danny: Where are they?
(Matt surrenders a bottle of pills)
Danny: What the hell are these?
Matt: Flintstones Vitamins.
Danny: These are Flintstones Vitamins.
Matt: Yeah. I like the Bam-Bams. You got a problem with that?

K & R Part I [1.19]

Matt: Isn't it possible that Mary got pregnant by another man, and Joseph stepped up so his wife wouldn't get stoned to death by the village?
Harriet: No.
Matt: It's more likely that an angel inseminated her, and she gave birth to a magical wizard who could rise from the dead?
Harriet: He's not David Copperfield!

Matt: Science is something you believe in, science has to be proven, or then not get to call it science
Harriet: Wouldn't it be great if you knew something about Christians, before you start...
Matt: It's a fairy tail!
Harriet: No, it's not
Matt: We've been having this fight for six months!
Harriet: We've been having this fight for two years!
Matt: We have been having this fight in two different millennia, now!

K & R Part II [1.20]

Matt: 15 minutes goes by without me hearing from you, I'm driving over there with a police escort.
Danny: Where're you getting a police escort from?
Matt: I will commit a crime and lead them on a high speed chase if I have to; I am not kidding around!

Tom: The doctor’s giving my mother a sedative called Atrividium
Captain Boyle: Yeah.
Tom: My father’s taking shots of a sedative called Johnny Walker Red.

Harriet: You're engaged?
Danny: Yeah
Harriet: And there's a baby?
Danny: Yeah
Harriet: Because like an hour ago none of this was true.
Danny: Yeah, things are moving fast tonight.

K & R Part III [1.21]

Matt: You know, I remember a few days after the mega phone thing at ground zero I was at the Writers' Guild and people were talking about what a seminal moment that was, and while people were talking about what a great leader he had become in that moment I was thinking, "Gee, what I saw was a guy getting an alley-oop pass from a heckler." A guy from off camera shouted, 'we can't hear you' and Bush shouted back, 'well I can hear you and soon the people that knocked these towers down will hear all of us.' Not a bad come back, but, it didn't strike me as a Saint Crispen's Day speech or anything. But I didn't say anything because I was scared and I've been scared for 5 weeks and that's too long for a grown man.

Matt: How is it possible that at a time when the entire country is completely in line, including the two of us, that... how is it possible that people are so offended by a thoroughly benign sketch?! Is true patriotism really that fragile that it can be threatened by a late night comedy show?!

Danny: What are you doing?
Harriet: Cheering you up with a little Holly Hunter.
Danny: Yeah?
Harriet: It's what I'm here for.
Danny: How is it no one's ever hit you in the head with a potato?
Harriet: I duck and weave, baby.

What Kind of Day Has It Been [1.22]

Danny: Matthew, don't take this the wrong way, but I love you.
Matt: Okay.
Danny: Did you take it the wrong way?
Matt: I took it to mean you're gay and you want me.
Danny: Good.
Matt: I love you too, brother.

Harriet: You kept that from me?
Matt: When you're high, you keep it from everyone. (Harry hits him) Ow.
Harriet: Not me. Never me. I'm the one person.
Matt: Ok.
Harriet: I'm the one person, always.

Jack: Any chance you've calmed down?
Simon: I'm completely calm.
Jack: You'll read a statement of apology?
Simon: I said I was calm, Jack. I didn't say my spine had become detached from my brain.
Jack: I think your brain has become detached from your brain.


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