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The term supernatural or supranatural (Latin: super, supra "above" + natura "nature") pertains to being above or beyond what is natural, unexplainable by natural law or phenomena.[1] Religious miracles are typically supernatural claims, as well as spells and curses, divination, the afterlife, and innumerable others. Supernatural beliefs have existed in many cultures throughout human history.

Characteristic for phenomena claimed as supernatural are anomaly, uniqueness and uncontrollability, thus lacking reproducibility required for scientific examination. Supernatural themes are often associated with paranormal and occult ideas, suggesting for possibility of interaction with the supernatural by means of summoning or trance for instance.



Adherents of supernatural beliefs hold that such occurrences exist just as surely as does the natural world. Opponents argue that there are natural, scientific explanations for what is often perceived as the supernatural. Controversy has surrounded the issue for as long as there have been those who believe in the supernatural. One complicating factor is that there is no universal agreement about what the definition of “natural” is, and what the limits of naturalism might be. Concepts in the supernatural domain are closely related to concepts in religious spirituality and occultism or spiritualism. Additionally, by definition anything that exists naturally is not supernatural. The term "supernatural" is often used interchangeably with paranormal or preternatural — the latter typically limited to an adjective for describing abilities which appear to exceed the bounds of possibility (see the nature of God in Western theology, anthropology of religion, and Biblical cosmology). Likewise, legendary characters such as vampires, poltergeists and leprechauns are not considered supernatural.

Views on the supernatural

Speculative views on the "supernatural" include that it may be:

Distinct from nature

Some events occur according to natural laws, and others occur according to a separate set of principles external to nature. For example God (in most definitions) is considered to be the ultimate creator of the universe and the natural laws. Those who believe in angels and spirits generally assert that they are super-natural entities. Some religious people also believe that all things which humans see as natural only act the same way consistently because God wills it so, and that natural laws are an extension of divine will.

A human coping mechanism

Others believe that all events have natural and only natural causes. They believe that human beings ascribe supernatural attributes to purely natural events (eg. lightning, rainbows, floods, the origin of life).


Many people have sought to use both magic and science in hopes of empowering humanity for improvement and to achieve a clearer picture of humanity's place in the cosmos. In some of the earliest Christian art (from the 3rd century) Jesus Christ is portrayed as a bare-faced youth holding a wand as a symbol of power[2][3] (See: Images of Jesus).[4] There may be a persistent link between supernaturalism, the paranormal, and the desire for immortality.[5][6]

Another part of a larger nature

This is a view largely held by monists and process theorists. According to this view, the "supernatural" is just a term for parts of nature that modern science and philosophy do not yet properly understand, similar to how sound and lightning used to be mysterious forces to science. Materialist monists believe that the "supernatural" consists of things in the physical universe not yet understood by modern science, while idealist monists reject the concept of "supernatural" on the grounds that they believe "nature" is the non-material. Neutral monists maintain that "nature" and "supernature" are artificial categories as they believe that the material and non-material are both either equally real and simultaneously existent, or illusions that stem from the human mind's interpretation of reality.

Arguments in favor of a supernatural reality

Many supporters believe that past, present and future complexities and mysteries of the universe cannot be explained solely by naturalistic means and argue that it is reasonable to assume that a non-natural entity or entities resolve the unexplained. By its own definition, science is incapable of examining or testing for the existence of things that have no physical effects, because its methods rely on the observation of physical effects. Proponents of supernaturalism claim that their belief system is more flexible, which allows more diversity in terms of intuition and epistemology.

Arguments against a supernatural reality

  • Our knowledge of the world is continuously increasing. Some occurrences, once assumed supernatural, can today be explained by scientific theories.
  • Some suggested supernatural phenomena vanish when they are examined closely. There have been, for example, various studies on astrology, most of them with negative results[7][8][9][10][11](a single positive result cannot outweigh many negative ones, as it can be expected by mere chance).

Naturalization vs. supernaturalization


The neologism naturalize, meaning "to make natural", is sometimes used to describe the perceived process of denying any supernatural significance to events which another presumes to be supernatural. It rests on the believer's presumption that supernatural events can and do occur; thus, their description as "natural" by the skeptic is seen as a result of a process of deliberate or unconscious denial of any supernatural significance, thus, "naturalization." (This meaning of the word should not be confused with naturalization, the process of voluntarily acquiring citizenship at some time after birth. Also, plants, for example many wildflowers and bulbs including lilies, will "naturalize"; that is spread and develop beds without extra cultivation.)


The neologism supernaturalize, meaning "to make supernatural", is sometimes used to describe the perceived process of ascribing supernatural causes to events which someone else presumes to be natural. This perceived process may also be referred to as mythification or spiritualization. It rests on the presumption of the skeptic that supernatural events cannot or are unlikely to occur; thus, their description by the believer as supernatural is seen as the result of a process of deliberate or unconscious mysticism, thus, "supernaturalization". Supernaturalization can also mean the process by which stories and historical accounts are altered to describe supernatural elements.

The subjective nature of the issue

Two people may come to completely different conclusions based on identical evidence. One may automatically "screen out" possible explanations simply because they conflict with one's paradigm, or world view, and create cognitive dissonance. There can also be many other motivations, conscious or unconscious, for this selective awareness. For example, to make oneself "look good" to others and thus avoid isolation, or perhaps the desire to imitate personal heroes. Generally we criticize and question the picture of reality held by others; it is rare to question one's own, rarer still to admit our own is distorted.

Suggested instances of supernatural events

  • The Tunguska Event reported as an instance of supernaturalization through an examination of the Bible and compared to historical events published in the contemporary public record.[12]

In fiction

The supernatural is a topic in various fictional genres, especially horror fiction and fantasy fiction.

See also

  • Dualism, the view that the mental and the physical have a fundamentally different nature as an answer to the philosophical mind-body problem.
  • Idealism, any theory positing the primacy of spirit, mind, or language over matter. It includes claims that mental structure or function plays some crucial role in forming the world of experience.
  • Magical thinking
  • Monism, the view that the mental and physical are ultimately part of the same super-reality which both the physical and non-physical world(s) compose. The view that differing realities are not the end-all-be-all in themselves. Monism can involve material monism, the view that only the physical is real and all else are manifestations of the physical; idealist monism which holds that only the mental is real and all else are manifestations of the mental; or neutral monism.
  • Miracle
  • Paranormal
  • Preternatural
  • Vitalism, the doctrine that life cannot be explained solely by mechanism. Often, the nonmaterial element is referred to as the soul, the "vital spark", or some kind of spiritual energy.
  • Quantum physics / quantum pseudo-telepathy: a measurable occurrence that seems to demonstrate some kind of communication has taken place between people when none has.
  • God of the gaps, the ascription to a supernatural cause of that which science does not explain.
  • Ex nihilo, (Latin, "out of nothing"), refers to a doctrine of creation that claims the world, by divine fiat, emerged from a state of absolute nothingness.
  • Supernatural fiction


  1. ^ Merriam-Webster Dictionary
  2. ^ The Two Faces of Jesus by Robin M. Jensen, Bible Review, 17.8, Oct 2002
  3. ^ Understanding Early Christian Art by Robin M. Jensen, Routledge, 2000
  4. ^ (See Lynn Thorndike's classic study,The History of Magic and Experimental Science, Tarbell Course in Magic, vol 1- Harlan Tarbell, forward and epilogue to Greater Magic- John Northern Hilliard, The Discoverie of Witchcraft- Reginald Scot and the vanishing works of Henry Ridgely Evans, The Old and New Magic, The Spirit World Unmasked, and Hours with Ghosts or 19th Century Witchcraft.)
  5. ^ The Psychology of Conviction: A Study of Beliefs and Attitudes by Joseph Jastrow, Houghton Mifflin Co., 1918
  6. ^ Search for the Soul by Milbourne Christopher, Thomas Y. Crowell, Publishers, 1979
  7. ^ Dean and Kelly. "Is Astrology Relevant to Consciousness and Psi?". 
  8. ^ Shawn Carlson. "A double-blind test of astrology". Nature, 318, 419 - 425 (05 December 1985). 
  9. ^ Rob Nanninga. "The Astrotest - Correlation". Northern Winter, 1996/97, 15(2), p. 14-20.. 
  10. ^ Robert Matthews (2003-08-17). "Comprehensive study of 'time twins' debunks astrology". London Daily Telegraph. Archived from the original on 2007-05-22. 
  11. ^ Dean, Geoffery. "Artifacts in data often wrongly seen as evidence for astrology". 
  12. ^

Further reading


Up to date as of January 14, 2010
(Redirected to Supernatural (TV series) article)

From Wikiquote

Supernatural (2005-) is a paranormal/horror/thriller/drama-themed television series on the WB Television Network (now merged with UPN into the new network The CW) that details the lives of two brothers who travel across the country in a black 1967 Chevy Impala investigating paranormal events and other unexplained occurrences.


Season 1

Pilot [1.1]

Dean: Whoa, easy, tiger.
Sam: Dean? (Dean laughs)
Sam: (breathing heavily) You scared the crap out of me.
Dean: That's because you're out of practice. (Sam retaliates, pinning Dean down)
Dean: (laughs) Or not. Get off me.

Sam: What the hell are you doing here?
Dean: I was looking for a beer.
Sam: ...What the hell are you doing here?
Dean: Okay, alright. We gotta talk.
Sam: Um...the phone?
Dean: If I had called, would you have picked up?

(Jess in a tight blue Smurf shirt and short white panties)
Dean: I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league.
Jess: Just let me put something on.
Dean: No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it...seriously.

Sam: No. No, whatever you wanna say, you can say it in front of her.
Dean: hasn't been home in a few days.
Sam: So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later.
Dean: Dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days.
Sam: ...Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside.

Sam: I mean, come on, you can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you.
Dean: You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him.

Sam: I swore I was done hunting for good.
Dean: Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad.
Sam: Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45.
Dean: Well, what was he supposed to do?
Sam: I was nine years old. He was supposed to say, "Don't be afraid of the dark."
Dean: Don't be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what's out there!

Sam: Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?
Dean: I'm twenty-six, dude.

Dean: So what are you gonna do? Just live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?
Sam: No. Not normal. Safe.
Dean: And that's why you ran away? (sounds disgusted)
Sam: I was just going to college. It was dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone, and that's what I'm doing.

Dean: I can't do this alone.
Sam: Yes, you can.
Dean: (looks down and away) "Yeah,Well... I don't want to."

Dean: In almost two years I never bothered you, never asked you for a thing.

Jess: Wait, you're taking off? Is this about your dad? Is he alright?
Sam: Yeah, you know, just a little family drama.
Jess: Your brother said he's on some kind of hunting trip?
Sam: Oh, yeah. He's just deer hunting up at the cabin. He's probably got Jim, Jack, and Jose along with him. We're just going to go and bring him back.

Sam: So how'd you pay for that stuff? You and Dad still running credit card scams?
Dean: Well, yeah. Hunting ain't exactly a pro-ball career. Besides, all we do is apply. It's not our fault they send us the cards.

Sam: I swear, man, you gotta update your cassette tape collection.
Dean: Why?
Sam: Well, for one, they're cassette tapes. And two: Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metallica?! It's the greatest hits of mullet rock.
Dean: House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music; shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Sam: You know, Sammy is a chubby twelve-year-old. It's Sam, okay?
Dean: Sorry, can't hear you. The music's too loud.

Dean: (nodding at two agents) Agent Mulder, Agent Scully.

Sam: So what's the theory?
Ranger Wilkinson: Seriously? We don't know. Serial murder, kidnapping ring...
Dean: Well, that's exactly the kinda crack police work I'd expect outta you guys.

Dean: Okay, thank you Unsolved Mysteries.

Sam: Car alright?
Dean: Yeah, whatever she did to it, it seems alright now. That Constance chick - what a BITCH!

Sam: You smell like a toilet.

Sam: Hey, Dean. What I said earlier, about Mom and Dad, I'm sorry.
Dean: (holds up hand to stop Sam) No chick flick moments.
Sam: Alright...jerk.
Dean: Bitch.

Policeman: Who are you?
Dean: Federal Marshals.
Policeman: You two are a little young for Marshals, aren’t you?
Dean: Thanks, that’s awfully kind of you.

Officer: So, fake U.S. Marshall. Fake credit cards. You got anything that's real?
Dean: My boobs.

Officer: Now are you gonna tell me your real name?
Dean: I told you its Nugent, Ted Nugent.

Policeman: I'm not sure you realize just how much trouble you're in here.
Dean: We talking, like, misdemeanor kind of trouble? Or, uh... "squeal like a pig" kind of trouble?

Policeman: You got the faces of ten missing persons taped to your wall. Along with a whole lot of satanic mumbo jumbo. Boy, you are officially a suspect.
Dean: That makes sense. 'Cause when the first one went missing in '82, I was three.

Dean: Nice work, Sammy.
Sam: (painful laughing) Yeah, wish I could say the same for you. What were you thinking, shooting Casper in the face, you freak?
Dean: Hey, saved your ass! (looks at his car) I'll tell you another thing. If you screwed up my car, I'll kill you.

Sam: We got work to do.

Wendigo [1.2]

Sam: We cannot let that Hailey girl go out there.
Dean: Oh yeah? What are we gonna tell her? That she can't go into the woods because of a big scary monster?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Her brother's missing, Sam. She's not just gonna sit this out. Now we go with her, we protect her, and we keep our eyes peeled for our fuzzy predator-friend.
Sam: Finding Dad's not enough? (slams trunk) Now we gotta babysit too?

Hailey: And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?
Dean: Sweetheart, I don't do shorts.

Dean: And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions? (Pulls out a bag of M&Ms)

Dean: You wanna tell me what's goin' on in that freaky head of yours?
Sam: Dean...
Dean: No, you're not fine, you're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember?

Dean: This is why. (Holds up their dad's journal) This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business.
Sam: That makes no sense. Why, why doesn't he just call us? Why doesn't he tell us what he wants; tell us where he is?
Dean: I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's given us a job to do and I intend to do it.
Sam: Dean, no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about.
Dean: Ok, alright, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul, it's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man.
Sam: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?
Dean: Well, for one... them. (Looks over at Hailey and her brother) I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell; maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little more bearable. I'll tell you what else helps: Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can.

Dean: Chow time, you freaky bastard! Yeah, that's right, bring it on baby, I taste gooood!

Dean: Hey! Hey, you want some white meat, bitch!? I'm right here!

Hailey: Must you cheapen the moment?
Dean: Yeah.

Dean: Dude, check out the size of this freakin' bear.

Dead In The Water [1.3]

Dean: You know, Sam, we are allowed to have fun once in a while. (Points to the waitress in short shorts) That's fun.

Andrea: (Looking at Dean) Must be hard with your sense of direction. Never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.

Sam: “Kids are the best”? You don't even like kids.
Dean: I love kids.
Sam: Name three children that you even know.
(Dean thinks and Sam begins to walk away. Dean scratches his head)
Dean: I'm thinking!

Dean: So crayons is more your thing? That's cool. Chicks dig artists. Hey, these are pretty good. You mind if I sit and draw with you for a while? I'm not so bad myself. You know, I think you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something...anyway...well, maybe you don't think anyone will listen to you, or uh...or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything, you could draw me a picture about what you saw that day with your dad on the lake.
Lucas: (continues drawing)
Dean: Okay, no problem. This is for you (Hands Lucas the picture he drew) This is my family. (Points to the people he drew) That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my geek brother, and that's me. Alright, so I'm a sucky artist. I'll see you around, Lucas.

Dean: You're scared. It's okay, I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom - I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe...your dad wants you to be brave, too.

Dean: Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart. (Sam laughs)
Sam: You know, um...what you said about never told me that before.
Dean: It's no big deal...Oh God, we're not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?

[Dean puts a box of sandwiches in the car.]
Dean: Alright, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time.
Lucas: Zeppelin rules!
Dean: That's right. Up high. (Holds his hand up for a high-5) You take care of your mom, okay?
Lucas: Alright.

Phantom Traveler [1.4]

Dean: Did you get any sleep last night?
Sam: Yeah, I got a couple of hours.
Dean: Liar. See, I was up at 3 and you were watching George Foreman infomercials.
Sam: What can I say? It's riveting TV!
Dean: When's the last time you got a good night sleep?
Sam: I don't know. A little while, I guess. It's not a big deal.
Dean: Yeah it is!
Sam: Look, I appreciate your concern...
Dean: Oh, I'm not concerned about you. It's your job to keep my ass alive! So I need you sharp. Seriously, you still having nightmares about Jess?

Sam: So what, all of this never keeps you up at night? (Dean shakes his head) Never. You're never afraid? (Dean shakes his head again)
Dean: No, not really. (Sam reaches under Dean's pillow and pulls out a knife) That's not fear. That is precaution.
Sam: Ah, whatever. I'm too tired to argue.

Sam: Yeah, I know what an EMF Meter is, but why does that one look like a busted up walkman?
Dean: (proudly) Cause that's what I made it out of. It's homemade.
Sam: (sarcastically) Yeah, I can see that.
(Dean looks hurt)

Amanda: This is Amanda Walker.
Dean: Miss Walker. Hi! This is Dr. James Hetfield from St Francis Memorial Hospital. We have a Karen Walker here.
Amanda: My Karen?
Dean: It's nothing serious, just a minor car accident, but she was injured, so–
Amanda: Wait, wait, that is impossible. I just got off the phone with her.
Dean: You what?

Sam: Alright it's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane.
Dean: Wha… what? Hang on a second—
Sam: Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right, that plane is gonna crash.
Dean: I know.
Sam: Well, okay. We need to get on the plane, we need to find that demon and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets and you just go get whatever you can from the trunk, whatever will get past security, and meet me back here in five minutes. (Dean looks shocked) You okay?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: What? What's wrong?
Dean: Well, I kinda have this problem with, um... (makes the movement of plane taking off with his hands)
Sam: Flying?
Dean: It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam: You're joking, right?!
Dean: Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?
Sam: Alright, uhh… I'll go.
Dean: What?!
Sam: I'll do this one on my own.
Dean: Are you nuts? You said it yourself, that plane's gonna crash.
Sam: Look, Dean, we can do it together, I can do this one by myself. I'm not seeing a third option here.
Dean: Come on! Really? Man...

Sam: Just try to relax.
Dean: Just try to shut up

Sam: Are you humming Metallica?
Dean: Calms me down.
Sam: Look man, I get you're nervous alright, but you gotta stay focused.

Sam: What if she's already possessed?
Dean: There's ways to test that. I brought holy water.
Sam: No, I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed she'll flinch at the name of God.
Dean: Uhh, nice (stands up)
Sam: Hey!
Dean: What?
Sam: Say it in Latin.
Dean: Yeah, I know (Begins to leave)
Sam: Hey!
Dean: What?!
Sam: Uhh... In Latin, it's Christo.
Dean: Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot.

Dean: Come on, that can't be normal!!
Sam: Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence.
Dean: Sam, this plane is going to crash, so stop treating me like I'm freakin four!
Sam: You need to calm down.
Dean: I'm sorry, I can't.
Sam: Yes, you can.
Dean: Dude, stow the touchy-feely-self-help-yoga crap. It's not helping!

Dean: This is gonna sound nuts, but we don't have the time for the whole the-truth-is-out-there speech, so....

Bloody Mary [1.5]

Sam: I take it I was having another nightmare.
Dean: Yeah. Another one.
Sam: Hey, at least I got some sleep.

(Sam has just bribed a man with some money)
Dean: Dude, I earned that money.
Sam: You won it at a poker game.
Dean: Ye-eah.

Sam: Now, the newspaper said that his daughter found him. She said his eyes were bleeding.
Man: What? The man's? They practically liquified!

Man: Capillaries can burst. I see a lot of bloodshot eyes in stroke victims.
Dean: Yeah? You ever seen exploding eyeballs?

Sam: Might not be one of ours. It might be just some freak medical thing.
Dean: How many times in Dad's long, varied career has it actually been a freak medical thing? And not some sign of an awful supernatural death?
Sam: Almost never.
Dean: Exactly.

Sam: So we gotta search local newspapers, public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill.
Dean: Well, that sounds annoying.
Sam: No, it won't be so bad, as long as we, ahh… (looks at the computers which have signs on them saying "OUT OF ORDER") ... Huh. I take that back. This will be very annoying.

Sam: (gasps out loud and jerks awake from another nightmare) Why did you let me fall asleep?
Dean: 'Cause I'm an awesome brother. (pauses) So, what did you dream about?
Sam: Lollipops and candycanes.

Sam: So, did you find anything?
Dean: Besides a whole new level of frustration? ...No.

Charlie: I'm insane, right?
Dean: No. You're not insane.
Charlie: God, that makes me feel so much worse.

Sam: Hey, night vision?
Dean (puts the digital camera's night vision on for Sam)
Sam (night vision is on and Sam sees Dean's face on the screen)
Dean: Do I look like Paris Hilton?

Dean: You know, her boyfriend killing himself, that's not exactly Charlie's fault.
Sam: You know as well as I do, spirits don't exactly see shades of grey, Dean. Charlie had a secret, someone died. That's good enough for Mary.

Sam: So maybe we should try to pin her down. You know, summon her through her mirror and then smash it.
Dean: Well, how do you know that's gonna work?
Sam: I don't. Well, not for sure.

Dean: Alright, you know what? That's it! (pulls car over and turns to face Sam) This is about Jessica, isn't it? (Sam says nothing) You think that's your dirty little secret? That you killed her somehow? (Sam is silent) Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean the nightmares and... and calling her name out in the middle of the night. It's gonna kill you. Now listen to me, it wasn't your fault. If you want to blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. (still no response from Sam) Alright, why don't you take a swing at me? I'm the one who dragged you away from her in the first place.
Sam: I don't blame you.
Dean: Well, you shouldn't blame yourself, 'cause there was nothing you could've done.
Sam: I could have warned her.
Dean: About what? You didn't know it was gonna happen. Besides, all of this isn't a secret. I know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway.
Sam: No you don't.
Dean: I don't what?
Sam: You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.
Dean: (looks slightly confused) What are you talking about?
Sam: Well, it wouldn't be a secret if I told you, would it?
Dean: (shocked and speechless) No... I don't like it. It's not gonna happen. Forget it.
Sam: Dean, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many people are going to die after that? Now, we're doing this. You've got to let me do this.

Dean: (after smashing the mirror and going to help Sam on the ground) Sammy. Sammy?
Sam: It's Sam

Officer: Hold it!
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, guys. False alarm. I tripped the system.
Officer: Who are you?
Dean: I'm the boss's kid.
Officer: You're Mr. Yamishiro's kid?

Dean: (after surveying the room with all the broken mirrors) Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: This has gotta be like, what, 600 years bad luck?

Sam: Charlie? (Charlie turns around) Your boyfriend's death. You really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped him. Sometimes bad things just happen. (Charlie acknowledges and leaves)
Dean: (taps Sam on the shoulder and he turns around) That's good advice.

Dean: Hey, Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret was.
Sam: Look, you're my brother. And I'd die for you. But there are some things I need to keep to myself.

Skin [1.6]

Dean: ...then head south, Bisbee by midnight. (seeing no reaction from Sam) Sam wears women's underwear.

Dean: Well, so you lie to them?
Sam: No, I just don't tell them...everything.
Dean: Yeah, that's called lying.

Dean: What it sucks, but with a job like this you can't get close to people, period.
Sam: You're kinda anti-social, you know that?

Dean: Alright, so what are we doing here 5:30 in the morning?
Sam: I realised something. the video tape showed the killer going in but not coming out.
Dean: So it came out the back door.
Sam: Right. So there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never find.
Dean: 'Cause they think the killer never left, because they caught your friend inside (mutters under his breath) still don't know that we're doing here at 5:30 in the morning...

Dean: I think we're close to its lair.
Sam: Why'd you say that?
Dean: Because there's another puke-inducing pile next to your face.
Sam: Urgh, God!

Dean: Hey! Remember I said this wasn't our kind of problem?
Sam: Yeah
Dean: Definitely our kind of problem.
Sam: So watcha find out?

Dean: I hate to say it, but that's exactly what I'm talking about. You lied to your friends because if they knew the real you, they'd be freaked. It's just... It'll be easier if...
Sam:...I was like you.
Dean: Hey man, like it or not we're not like other people. But I'll tell you one thing. This whole gig... (takes out gun) it ain't without perks.

Shapeshifter as Dean: He's sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home - I mean, I had to stay home - with dad. You don't think I had dreams of my own? But dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

Dean: That better be you Sam and not that freak of nature.
Sam: Yeah, it's me. He went to Becca's house... Looking like you.
Dean: Well he's not stupid, he picked the handsome one.

Dean: But first I want to find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out him.
Sam: We have no weapons, no silver bullets.
Dean: Sam, the guy's walking around with my face ok? It's a little personal, I want to find him!

Dean: Man, it's not even a good picture!
Sam: It's good enough.

Sam: The car?
Dean: I'm betting he drove over to Rebecca's.
Sam: The news said he set out on foot. I bet its still parked there.
Dean: Augh! The thought of him driving my car!
Sam: Oh come on!
Dean: It's killing me!
Sam: Let it go.

(arriving at Rebecca's and seeing his car)
Dean: Ah ha! There she is! (breathes out heavily) Finally something went right tonight.
(police siren's and car appears)
Dean: Ah crap.

Rebecca: What did you call it?
Shapeshifter as Dean: A shapeshifter. Yeah, maybe we're crazy, but what if we're not? I mean, look, you said it yourself, that Zach was in two places at once, now tell me how that can happen?
Rebecca: Okay, so this thing, it can make itself look like anybody?
Shapeshifter as Dean: That's right.
Rebecca: Well, what is it? Like a genetic freak?
Shapeshifter as Dean: Maybe...evolution is about mutation, right? So maybe this thing was born Human but was different, hideous and hated... until he learned to become someone else.

Shapeshifter as Dean: Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!

Dean: Sorry man.
Sam: About what?
Dean: I really wish things could be different you know? I wish you could just be... Joe College.
Sam: Nah, it's ok. You know, the truth is even at Stanford, deep down I never really fit in.
Dean: Well that's 'cause you're a freak.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.
Dean: Well, I'm a freak too. I'm right there with you... All the way.
Sam: (chuckles) Yeah, I know you are.

Dean: You know I gotta say... I'm sorry I'm gonna miss it.
Sam: Miss what?
Dean: How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?

Hook Man [1.7]

Dean: Your,uhh, half-caff double vanilla latte's getting cold over here, Francis.
Sam: Bite me.

Dean: I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.
Sam: What about the shotgun?
Dean: I said that you were hunting ghosts and spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.
Sam: And he believed you?
Dean: Well you look like a dumbass pledge.

[at a frat party.]
Dean: Man, you've been holding out on me, this college thing is awesome!
Sam: This wasn't really my experience.
Dean: Let me guess - libraries, studying, straight A's.
[Sam nods.]
Dean: What a geek.

Lori: So your brother seems very... spiritual.
Sam: He's full of surprises.

Dean: (Dean falls on top of Sam as they sneak through a half-open window.) Oh, sorry!
Sam: Be quiet.
Dean:Me be quiet? You be quiet.

Dean: So you believe her?
Sam: I do.
Dean: Yeah, I think she's hot, too.

[preparing to search.]
Dean: Alright, take your pick.
Sam: I'll take the house.
Dean: Okay. Hey, stay out of her underwear drawer.

Dean: That's it! Next time, I get to watch the cute girl's house.

Dean: So this is how you spent four years of your life.
Sam: Welcome to higher education.

Bugs [1.8]

Dean: Hmm... looks like there's only room for one. You wanna flip a coin?
Sam: Dean, we have no idea what's down there.
Dean: All right. I'll go if you're scared. Scared?
Sam: Flip the damn coin!
Dean: Call it in the air, chicken. (flips coin)
Sam: (catches coin) I'm going...don't drop me

Dean: So you found some beetles in a hole in the ground. That's shocking, Sam.

Sam: So, a bunch of skeletons in an unmarked grave.
Dean: Yeah. Maybe this is a haunting. Pissed off spirits? Some unfinished business?
Sam: Yeah, maybe. Question is, why bugs? And why now?
Dean: That's two questions.

Sam: Well, Dad never treated you like that, you were perfect. He was all over my case. You don't remember?
Dean: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes you were out of line.
Sam: Right! Right, like when I said I'd rather play soccer than learn bow hunting.
Dean: Bow hunting's an important skill!

Sam: I respected Dad. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough.
Dean: So what are you saying? That Dad was disappointed in you?
Sam: Was? Is...and always has been.
Dean: Why would you think that?
Sam: Because I didn't want to bow hunt...or hunt spirits because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which in our whacked out family made me the freak.

Sam: Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full ride? Proud. Most dads don’t toss their kids out of the house.
Dean: I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases comin’ out of your mouth.
Sam: You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad…I don’t know if he’s even gonna wanna see me.
Dean: Sam, Dad was never disappointed in you. Never. He was scared.
Sam: What are you talkin’ about?
Dean: He was afraid of what could’ve happened to you if he wasn’t around. But even when you two weren’t talkin’…he used to swing by Stanford whenever he could. Keep an eye on you. Make sure you were safe.
Sam: What?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: Why didn’t you tell me any of that?
Dean: Well, it’s a two-way street, dude. You could’ve picked up the phone.

Dean: Growing up in a place like this would freak me out.
Sam: Why?
Dean: The manicured lawns, "How was your day, honey?" I'd blow my brains out.
Sam: There's nothing wrong with normal.
Dean: I'd take our family over normal any day.

Dean: Kinda hungry for a little barbeque. How about you? (Sam glares at him) What, we can't talk to the locals?
Sam: And the free food's got nothing to do with it?
Dean: Of course not, I'm a professional!

Larry: Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or... sexual orientation.
Dean: We're brothers.

Real Estate Agent: We accept home owners of all race, religion, color, or... sexual orientation.
Dean: Right. Um, I'm going to go talk to Larry. Okay, Honey? (smacks Sam on the butt)

Dean: Hunting's our day job. And the pay is crap.
Sam: Yeah, but hustling pool, credit card scams... It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean.
Dean: Well let's see. Honest... fun and easy. (pause) It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it, it's what we were raised to do.
Sam: Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked.

Dean: (after winning at gambling) Work, work work. No time to spend my money.

Sam: Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.
Dean: Huh? (confused)
Sam: Human Mad Cow Disease.
Dean: Mad Cow.... wasn't that on Oprah?
Sam: You watch Oprah?
[Dean looks embarrassed.]

Dean: This shower is awesome!

Sam: Joe White Tree? [The man nods.] We’d like to ask you a few questions, if that’s all right.
Dean: We’re students from the university.
Joe: No, you’re not. You’re lying. [Dean seems taken aback.]
Dean: Well, truth is—
Joe: You know who starts sentence with “truth is”? Liars. [Dean exchanges a look with Sam.]
Sam: Have you heard of Oasis Plains? It’s a housing development near the Atoka Valley.
Joe: [to Dean] I like him. He’s not a liar. [Dean looks angry.]

Home [1.9]

Dean: (to his Dad's voicemail) Dad, I know I've left messages before. I don't even know if you get 'em. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence and there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not...but...(tears up) I don't know what to do. So whatever you're doing, if you could get here...please. I need your help, Dad.

Sam: We’d try to figure out what we were dealin’ with. We’d dig into the history of the house.
Dean: Exactly, except this time, we already know what happened.
Sam: Yeah, but how much do we know? I mean, how much do you actually remember?
Dean: About that night, you mean?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Not much. I remember the fire…the heat. (He pauses for a moment.) And then I carried you out the front door.
Sam: You did?
Dean: Yeah, what, you never knew that?
Sam: (shaking his head) No.

Missouri: Don't worry about a thing, your wife's crazy about you. (client leaves) Whoo, poor bastard. His woman is cold-banging the gardener.
Dean: Why didn't you tell him?
Missouri: People don't come here for the truth, they come for good news.

Missouri: You two have grown up handsome. (looks at Dean) And you were one goofy looking kid. (Sam smiles)

Missouri: Sam, oh honey. I'm sorry about your girlfriend. And your father...he's missing.
Sam: How'd you know all that?
Missouri: Well, you were just thinking it, just now.
Dean: Where is he? Is he okay?
Missouri: I don't know.
Dean: Don't know? Your supposed to be a psychic, right?
Missouri: Boy, you see me sawing some bony tramp in half?! You think I'm a magician?! I may be able to read thoughts and sense energies in a room but I can't pull facts out of thin air.

Missouri: Boy, you put your foot on my coffee table, I'm going to whack you with a spoon.
Dean: I didn't do anything.
Missouri: You were thinking about it.

Missouri: I haven’t been back inside, but I’ve been keepin’ an eye on the place, and it’s been quiet. No sudden deaths, no freak accidents. Why is it actin’ up now?
Sam: I don’t know. But Dad going missing and Jessica dying and now this house all happening at once –- it just feels like something’s starting.
Dean: That's a comforting thought.

Missouri:[to Jenny] Forgive this boy, he means well, he’s just not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hear me out. [Dean looks stunned.]

Missouri: Is that an EMF?
Dean: Yeah.
Missouri: Amateur.

Jenny: Hello? We’re home. [She comes into the kitchen and looks around.] What happened?
Sam: Hi, sorry. Um, we’ll pay for all of this. [Dean looks confused.]

Missouri: Don't worry – Dean's going to clean up this mess. Well what are you waiting for, boy. Grab the mop. (Dean glares silently) And don't cuss at me!

Missouri: You sensed it was here, didn't you? Even when I couldn't.
Sam: What's happening to me?
Missouri: I know I should have all the answers but...I don't know.

Missouri: That boy…he has such powerful abilities. But why he couldn’t sense his own father, I have no idea.
John: Mary’s spirit –- do you really think she saved the boys?
Missouri: I do. John Winchester, I could just slap you. Why won’t you go talk to your children?
John: I want to. You have no idea how much I wanna see ‘em. But I can’t. Not yet. Not until I know the truth.

Asylum [1.10]

Sam: Do you think Dad's sending us coordinates?
Dean: He's done it before...
Sam: The man can barely use a toaster, Dean.

Dean: (talking about his dad) You know, I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda.

Dean: You shoved me kind of hard in there, buddy boy.
Sam: I had to sell it, didn’t I? It’s method acting.
Dean: Huh?
Sam: Never mind.

Sam: Dean…when are we gonna talk about it?
Dean: Talk about what?
Sam: About the fact that Dad’s not here.
Dean: Oh, uh, let’s see, never.

Sam: What Dad "wants" doesn't matter!
Dean: You see that? That attitude there? That's why I always got the extra cookie.

Sam: And the south wing? That’s where they housed the real hard cases –- the psychotics, the criminally insane.
Dean: Sounds cozy.

Dean: Like my man Jack in the Cuckoos nest!

Dean: The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed-off spirit…is the pissed-off spirit of a psycho-killer.

Dean: Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got goin' on.
Sam: I told you, it's not ESP, I just have strange vibes sometimes.

Dean: Hey Sam, who do you think is a hotter psychic? Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?

Dean: Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel.

Gavin: She kissed me.
Sam: Um, but she didn't hurt you physically?
Gavin: Dude, she kissed me! I'm scarred for life!

Sam: Kat, it’s not gonna hurt you. Listen to me! You have to face it. You have to calm down.
Dean: She’s gotta what?
Kat: I have to what?!
Sam: The spirits –- they’re not trying to hurt us, they’re trying to communicate. You’ve gotta listen to it, you've gotta face it.
Kat: You face it!

Sam: Ghosts can appear at certain hours of the day.
Dean: Yup, the freaks come out at night.

Kat: So, how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?
Sam: It's kind of our job.
Kat: Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam: I had a crappy guidance counselor.

Dean: Sammy? Sam, you down here? Sam? Sam!Man! Answer me when I’m callin’ you.

Dean: Sam! We gotta burn Ellicott’s bones, and all this’ll be over. You’ll be back to normal.
Sam: I am normal. I’m just tellin’ the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? Because you’re following Dad’s orders like a good little soldier? ‘Cause you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?
Dean: This isn’t you talking, Sam.
Sam: That’s the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I’m not pathetic like you.

Dean: Hey, I gotta question for ya. You seen a lot of horror movies, yeah?
Kat: Yeah, I guess so.
Dean: Do me a favor. Next time you see one, pay attention. When someone says a place is haunted, don't go in.

Kat: Hey, Gavin?
Gavin: Yeah?
Kat: If we make it out of here alive, we are so breaking up.

Dean: The log book said he had some sort of hidden procedure room down here somewhere, where he'd work on his patients, so, I mean, if I was a patient, I'd drag his ass down here and do some work on him myself.

Sam: I told you, I looked everywhere. I didn't find a hidden room.
Dean: Well, that's why they call it hidden.

Dean: Sam, put the gun down
Sam:(when he is possesed) Is that an order?
Dean: No, just a friendly request.

Dean: You hate me that much? You think you could kill your own brother? Then go ahead. Pull the trigger. Do it!

Dean: (after finding Ellcott's body) Aw, that's just gross.

[Sam has woken up after Dean has burned Ellcott's bones.]
Dean: You're not gonna try to kill me, are you?
Sam: No.
Dean: Good. 'Cause that would be awkward.

Scarecrow [1.11]

Sam: So, Dad is sending us to Indiana to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?
Dean: Yahtzee. Can you imagine putting together a pattern like this? All the different obits Dad had to go through? The man’s a master!

Sam: Dean, if this demon killed Mom and Jess, and Dad’s closing in, we’ve gotta be there. We’ve gotta help.
Dean: Dad doesn’t want our help!
Sam: I don’t care.
Dean: He’s given us an order.
Sam: *firmly* I don’t care. We don’t always have to do what he says.
Dean: Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to save lives, it’s important.
Sam: Alright, I understand, believe me, I understand. But I’m talking one week here, man, to get answers. To get revenge.
Dean: All right, look, I know how you feel.
Sam: Do you? (Dean seems shocked at Sam’s tone.) How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?
Dean: Dad said it wasn’t safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows something that we don’t, so if he says to stay away, we stay away.
Sam: I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him.
Dean: Yeah, it’s called being a good son!

Dean: You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.
Sam: That's what you really think?
Dean: Yes, it is.
Sam: Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California.

Dean: Come on, you’re not serious.
Sam: I am serious.
Dean: It’s the middle of the night! Hey, I’m taking off, I will leave your ass, you hear me?
Sam: That’s what I want you to do.
Dean: Goodbye, Sam.

Dean:(To scarecrow) Dude, you fugly.

Dean: You know, my brother could give you this puppy dog look and you'd just buy right into it.

Bus Station Clerk: Sorry, the Sacramento bus doesn't run again 'til tomorrow, 5:05 p.m.
Sam: Tomorrow?! There's got to be another way!
Bus Station Clerk: Oh, there is. Buy a car.

Dean: Sam, you were right, you gotta do your own thing, you gotta live your own life.
Sam: Are you serious?
Dean: You've always known what you want and you go after it. Stand up to Dad, and you always have. I wish I had. Anyway, I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy.
Sam: I don't even know what to say.
Dean: Say you'll take care of yourself.
Sam: I will.

Sam: The scarecrow crawled off its cross?
Dean: I'm telling you, Burkitsville, Indiana – Fun Town

Dean: Actually, I'm on my way to the local community college. I got an appointment with a know, since I don't have my trusty sidekick geek boy to do all the research!

Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

Emily: I don't understand. They're going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier I guess.

Emily: So what's the plan?
Dean: I'm working on it.
[several hours later.]
Emily: You don't have a plan, do you?
Dean: I'm working on it...

Dean: How'd you get here?
Sam: I stole a car.
Dean: That's my boy!

Dean: Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
Sam: You should be kissing my ass - you were dead meat back there.
Dean: Yeah right. I had a plan - I'd have gotten out.

Faith [1.12]

Dean: Have you ever watched daytime TV? It's terrible.
Sam: (sighs) I talked to your doctor.
Dean: That fabric softener teddy bear. Oooh! I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down.
Sam: Dean.
Dean: Yeah, alright. Well, it looks like you're going to leave town without me.
Sam: What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you here.
Dean: Hey, you better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass.
Sam: I don't think that's funny.
Dean: Ah, come on. It's a little funny. (pause) Look Sammy, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story.
Sam: Don't talk like that, alright. We still have options.
Dean: What options? You got burial or cremation. I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it.
Sam: Watch me.

Dean: You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?
Sam: I'm not gonna let you die period.

Dean: I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot.

Sam: You know this whole "I laugh in the face of death" thing is crap, I can see right through it.
Dean: Yeah, whatever. Have you even slept? You look worse than me.

Dean: Man, you're a lying bastard. I thought you said we were going to see a doctor.
Sam: I believe I said a specialist. Look, Dean, this guy’s supposed to be the real deal.
Dean: I can’t believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent.

Dean: Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways. (talking about Layla)

Sam: But you said you saw a dude in a suit.
Dean: Well, what, do you think he should’ve been workin’ the whole black robe thing?

Protester: Roy Le Grange is a fraud. He's no healer.
Dean: Amen, brother.
Sam: You, keep up the good work.
Protester: Thank you.

Dean: Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?
Roy: Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.
Dean: What did you see in my heart?
Roy: A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.

Layla: If you're gonna have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen, you have to have it when they don't.

Dean: Layla. I'm not much the prayin' type, but... I'm gonna pray for you.
Layla: Well, there's a miracle right there.

Route 666 [1.13]

Sam: By an old friend, you mean...
Dean: A friend that's not new.
Sam: Yeah, thanks.

Sam: You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?
Dean: Am I speaking in a language you're not getting here?
Sam: You TOLD her?! The big family secret? Rule number one - we do what we do and shut our mouths about it? *Dean is silent* DEAN!
Dean: Yeah! Looks like...

Sam: And you think this vanishing truck ran him off the road?
Cassie: (embarrassed) Oh, when you say it aloud like that.Listen, I’m a little skeptical about this…ghost stuff, or whatever it is you guys are into.
Dean: (chuckling) Skeptical. Yeah, if I remember, I think you said it was nuts.

Sam: I’ll say this for her—she’s fearless.
Dean: Mmhmm.
Sam: I bet she kicked your ass a couple times. What’s interesting is you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she’s not looking, she checks you out when you look away. It’s just an interesting observation. In a, you know, observationally interesting way.
Dean: I think we might have some more pressing issues here.
Sam: Hey, if I’m hittin’ a nerve...
Dean: Oh, let’s go.

Sam: Oh, and you might also want to mention that other thing.
Dean: What other thing?
Sam: The serious unfinished business. Dean, what is going on between you two?
Dean: Alright, so maybe we were a little bit more involved than I said.
Sam: Oh, ok. Yeah.
Dean: Okay, a lot more. Maybe. And I told her the secret about what we do, and I shouldn’t have.
Sam: No, look, man, everybody’s gotta open up to someone, sometime.
Dean: Yeah, I don’t. It was stupid to get that close, and look how it ended. Would you stop? Blink or something.
Sam: You loved her.
Dean: Oh, God.
Sam: You were in love with her, but you dumped her. Oh, wow. She dumped you.
Dean: Get in the car.

Cassie: The guy I’m with, the guy I’m hoping might be in my future tells me he professionally pops ghosts.
Dean: That’s not the words I used.

Dean: Yeah I guess. Who knows what ghosts are thinkin' anyway.
Sam: You know we're going to have to dredge that body up from the swamp right?
Dean: (little laugh) You said it.

Dean: Don't leave the house.
Cassie: Don't go getting all authoritative on me, I hate it.
Dean: Don't leave the house, please?

Sam: Oh, my life was so simple. Just school, exams, papers on poly-centric cultural norms.
Dean: So, I guess I saved you from a boring existance.
Sam: Occasionally I miss boring.
Dean: Right, so this killer truck...
Sam: I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck."

[Both laugh]

Sam: So burning the body had no effect on that thing?
Dean: Sure it did – now it’s really pissed.

Sam: (over a cellphone) Where are you?
Dean: I'm in the middle of nowhere with a killer truck on my ass!

Sam: I figured maybe that would get rid of it.
Dean: Maybe?! Maybe?!? What if you were wrong?
Sam: Huh. Honestly that thought hadn't occurred to me.
Dean: (mimicking Sam) "Well that honestly didn't occur to me." I'm gonna kill him.

Sam: I’m guessing you guys were working things out.
Dean: We’ll be working things out when we’re 90.

Nightmare [1.14]

Sam: Well, don't look at me like that.
Dean: I’m not lookin’ at you like anything. Though I gotta say, you look like crap.
Sam: Nice...thanks.

Sam: This has got to be a whole new low for us. (Dean and Sam are wearing ministers’ outfits)

Sam: You can't tell me this doesn't freak you out.
[long pause.]
Dean: This doesn't freak me out.

Max: All these people kept coming with, like casserole. I finally had to tell them all to go away. Because nothing says “sorry” like a tuna casserole.

Sam: Dean, I’ve been thinking.
Dean: Well, that’s never a good thing.

Sam: Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Both our families are cursed.
Dean: Our family's not cursed. We just... had our dark spots.
Sam: (chuckles) Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Dean: You're...dark

Sam: We’re not gonna kill Max.
Dean: Then what? I hand him over to the cops and say, “Lock him up, officer, he kills with the power of his mind.”

Sam: Well, I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad.
Dean: I never thought I'd hear you say that.
Sam: Well, he could’ve gone a whole ‘nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon-hunting, and we would’ve had Max’s childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay—thanks to him.
Dean: All things considered.

Sam:Aren’t you worried, man, aren’t you worried that I could turn into Max or something?
Dean: Nope. No way. You know why?
Sam: No. Why?
Dean: ‘Cause you’ve got one advantage that Max didn’t have.
Sam: Dad? Because Dad’s not here, Dean.
Dean: No. Me. (He smiles.) As long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you.

Sam: When Max locked me in that closet, that big cabinet against the door, I moved it.
Dean: You have a little bit more upper body strength than I give you credit for!
Sam:No man. I moved it. Like Max.
Dean:(long pause) Oh. Right.

Dean: I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam: Where?
Dean: Vegas. (Sam ‘harrumphs' and walks out) What? Come on man! Craps table? We'd clean up!

The Benders [1.15]

Evan: Godzilla Vs. Mothra.
Dean: That’s my favorite Godzilla movie. It’s so much better than the original, huh?
Evan: Totally.
Dean: Yeah. (Dean nods towards Sam) He likes the remake.
Evan: Yuck!

Sam: We should get an early start.
Dean: Yeah, you really know how to have fun, don’t you, Grandma?

Deputy Kathleen: (about Sam) Does your cousin have a drinking problem?
Dean: What, Sam? Two beers and he's doin' karaoke.

Deputy Kathleen: So you know his brother Dean Winchester died in St. Louis and was suspected of murder?
Dean: Yeah, Dean, kinda the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though.

Sam: I was lookin’ for ya.
Jenkins: Oh, yeah?
Sam: Yeah.
Jenkins: Well, no offense, but this is a piss-poor rescue.

Jenkins: What is it? (SAM picks it up and looks at it.)
Sam: It’s a bracket.
Jenkins: Well, thank God, a bracket. Now we’ve got ‘em, huh?

Deputy Kathleen: So, Gregory.
Dean: Yeah.
Deputy Kathleen: I ran your badge number. It's routine when we're working on a case with State Police, for accounting purposes and what have you.
Dean: Mmhmm.
Deputy Kathleen: And, uh, you just got back to me... says here your badge was stolen. And there's a picture of you. :[turns the screen towards Dean, on which there is a picture of a portly, African-American police officer. There is a long silence]:
Dean: I lost some weight. And I got that... Michael Jackson skin disease...

Dean: (talking about Sam) When we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire. And ever since then I've felt responsible for him, like it's my job to keep him safe.

Dean: I really need to start carrying paperclips.

Deputy Kathleen: Your, uh… your cousin's looking for you.
Sam: Thank god. Where is he?
Deputy Kathleen: I, uh… I cuffed him to my car.

Dean: Have you seen ‘em?
Sam: Yeah. Dude, they’re just people.
Dean: And they jumped you? Must be gettin’ a little rusty there, kiddo.

Dean: Demons I get. People are crazy.

Pa Bender: We never been that sloppy.
Dean: Yeah, well, don’t sell yourself short. You’re plenty sloppy.

Pa Bender: So what, you with that pretty cop? Are you a cop?
Dean: If I tell you, will you promise not to make me into an ashtray?

Pa Bender: Tell me, any other cops gonna come lookin' for you?
Dean: Eat me. Oh no no no wait wait wait, you actually might.

Dean: Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. That's what this is about? You yahoos hunt people?

Pa: But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothin' like it. Holdin' their life in your hands. Seein' the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive.
Dean: You're one sick puppy.

Dean: Oh, these locks look like they’re gonna be a bitch.

Dean: Don't ever do that again.
Sam: Do what?
Dean: Go missing like that.
Sam: You were worried about me!
Dean: I'm just saying, you vanish like that again and I'm not looking for you.
Sam: Sure you won't.
Dean: No I'm not.

Sam: So you got sidelined by a 13-year old girl?
Dean: Shut up.
Sam: I'm just saying, getting a little rusty there aren't you, kiddo?

Shadow [1.16]

Dean: You know, I’ve gotta say Dad and me did just fine without these stupid costumes. I feel like a high school drama dork. (He smiles.) What was that play that you did? What was it – Our Town. Yeah, you were good, it was cute.
Sam: Look, you wanna pull this off or not?
Dean: I’m just sayin’, these outfits cost hard-earned money, okay?
Sam: Whose?
Dean: Ours. You think credit card fraud is easy?

Landlady: You guys said you're with the alarm company?
Dean: That's right.
Landlady: Well, no offense, but your alarm's about as useful as boobs on a man.
Dean: That's why we're here.

Sam: So, you talk to the cops?
Dean: Uh, yeah. I spoke to Amy a, uh, charming and perky officer of the law.
Sam: Yeah, and what did you find out?
Dean: Well, she's a Sagittarius. She loves tequila, I mean...whew. Oh, and she's got this little tattoo...

Dean: I talked to the bartender.
Sam: Did you get anything...besides her number?
Dean: Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that (smiles and chuckles as he displays a napkin with her phone number)...All right.
Sam: You mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?

Dean: So, to recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number.

Meg: Dude, cover your mouth.

Sam: I think there's something weird going on here.
Dean: Yeah – she wasn't even that into me!

Sam: I'm just saying, there's something about this girl I can't quite put my finger on.
Dean: But I bet you'd like to. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe...maybe you've got a thing for her. Maybe you're thinking a little too much with your upstairs brain.

Dean: What are you gonna do?
Sam: I'm gonna watch Meg.
Dean: (laughing) Yeah, you are.
Sam: I just wanna see what's what. Better safe than sorry.
Dean: All right, you little pervert.
Sam: Dude.
Dean: I’m goin’, I’m goin’.

Sam: How’d you figure that out?
Dean: Give me some credit, man. You don’t have a corner on paper chasin’ around here.
Sam: Oh, yeah? Name the last book you read.
Dean: (defeated) No, I called Dad’s friend, Caleb. He told me, all right?
Sam: Yeah.

[over the phone.]
Sam: Hi.
Dean: Let me guess - you're lurking outside that poor girl's apartment, aren't you?
Sam: No!...Yes...
Dean: You got a funny way of showing your affection.

Dean: (to Sam) Now, look, why don't you go knock on her door and invite her to a poetry reading, or whatever it is you do, huh?

Dean: Why don't you go up and deliver a private strip-o-gram?
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Oh no, Bite her. Just don't leave any teeth marks... (Sam hangs up) Sam?

Dean: So Sammy's got a thing for the bad girl.

Dean: You wanna go back to school?
Sam: Yeah, once we’re done huntin’ the thing.
Dean: Huh.
Sam: Why, is there somethin’ wrong with that?
Dean: No. No, it’s, uh, great. Good for you.
Sam: I mean, what are you gonna do when it’s all over?
Dean: It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be somethin’ to hunt.
Sam: But there’s got to be somethin’ that you want for yourself—
Dean: Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam.
Sam: Dude, what’s your problem?
Dean: Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?
Sam: ‘Cause Dad was in trouble. ‘Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom.
Dean: Yes, that, but it’s more than that, man.

Dean: Hey Sam. Don't take this the wrong way, but your a bitch.

Dean: Hey, Sam…?
Sam: Hmm?
Dean: Next time you want to get laid…find a girl that's not so buckets of crazy, huh?

John: I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. (pause) She was the bad guy, right?
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Yes, sir.

Hell House [1.17]

Boy#2: Want me to hold your hand? [He offers his hand and she takes it] Are there any other parts I can hold?
Girl: [She gives him a look and lets go of his hand] Ew, shut up, you loser!

Boy#1: Oh look - it's the evil root cellar. Where Satan cans all his vegetables.

Dean: What's the matter, Sammy? You afraid you gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?
Sam: All right. Just remember you started it.
Dean: Oh, bring it on, baldy.

Sam: [hesitantly] Well, I knew we were gonna be passing through Texas, so, uh, last night I searched some local...paranormal websites and I found one.
Dean: And what's it called? [Sam is reluctant]
Sam: Hell Hound's Lair dot com.

Dean: Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter.

Sam: And after his time, too. The reversed cross has been used by Satanists for centuries, but this sigil of sulfur didn’t show up in San Francisco until the sixties. (Dean looks at him strangely.)
Dean: This is exactly why you never get laid.
Sam: (looks at him)
Dean: I don't know, Sam. I mean, I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but you know, the cops might be right about this one.

Harry: What are you guys doing here?
Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Ed: Uh, we belong here, we're professionals.
Dean: Professional what?

Ed: (chuckling) Sorry. That pot we smoked gave me the giggles! Woo!

Sam: (grunts) I think I'm allergic to our soap.
Dean: (leaves, laughing)
Sam: You did this?! You're a jerk!

Ed: This stuff right here—this is our ticket to the big time. Fame, money, sex. With girls, okay? Be brave. Okay, WWBD. What would Buffy do? Huh?
Harry: What would Buffy do? I don't know, but, Ed, she’s stronger than me.

Ed: Okay, we've got an obligation to our fans, to the truth...
Dean: Well I have an obligation to kick both of your little asses.
Sam: Dean, Dean, hey, hey, just forget it, alright. These guys... I could probably bitch slap them both.

Dean: I thought the legend said that Mordecai only goes after chicks.
Sam: It does.
Dean: Alright, well I mean that explains why it went after you, but why me?
Sam: Hilarious.

Dean: Why don't you tell us about that house - without lying through your ass this time?

Dean: People believe in Santa Claus - why aren't I getting hooked up every Christmas?
Sam: 'Cause you're a bad person.

Dean: I say we find ourselves a bar and some beer and leave the legend to the locals. (gets in Impala)
Sam: (pauses, leans over to see inside car)

(Dean turns on car. Loud salsa music turns on.)

Dean: (startled, jumps) Whoa! (turns the radio back off) What the-
Sam: (laughs and gets in car)
Dean: (stares)
Sam: (puts up one finger to indicate "1", points at self)
Dean: That all ya got? That's weak. (Sam laughs) That is Bush league.
Guy: (outside Hell House) This is it! The point of no return.
Jill: Why do I have to go in there?
Second Girl: Because, Jill, you chose dare instead of truth. Which means you either have to get a jar from Mordecai's cellar and bring it back, or...
Guy: (smiles) Or you can make out with me!
Jill: I'll take the homicidal ghost, thanks. (takes flashlight)

(Sam and Dean walk up to Hell House, noticing an ambulence and police cars parked around it.)

Dean: What happened?
': Couple of cops say that poor girl hung herself in the house.
Sam: Suicide?
': Yeah. But she was a straight-A student. And a full ride to UT, too. It just don't make sense. (walks off)

(Sam and Dean watch the paramedics load a sheet-covered gurney in the ambulence.)

Sam: What are you thinkin'?
Dean: I'm thinkin' we missed something.

Dean: I don't believe it.

(Harry and Ed are trying to sneak past the police, into Hell House.)

Dean: I got an idea. (stands up, cups hand around mouth, calls out) Who ya gonna call??

(Police hear it and chase after Harry and Ed.)

Dean: (examining a jar in Mordecai's basement) Hey, Sam. I dare you to take a swig of this.
Sam: The hell would I do that for?
Dean: (pauses) I double-dare you.

Dean: Man, I hate rats.
Sam: Would you rather it was a ghost?
Dean: Yes.

Ed: Sweet Lord of the Rings – run!!

Dean: (pulls string, puppet laughs)
Sam: (pulls string, laughter ceases) If you pull that string one more time, I'm going to kill you.
Dean: (looks straight at Sam, pulls string again, puppet laughs again}

Sam: (laughs)
Dean: (stares) You didn't.
Sam: Oh. (pulls out super glue) I did. (pulls puppet string and laughs with puppet)

Dean: I have no skin left on my palm.
Sam: I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole.

Sam: That was your great idea? To burn the house down?
Dean: Well no one will go in any more.

Sam: It kinda makes you wonder. Of all the things we've hunted, how many exist just because people believed in them?

(after Ed and Harry have left, explaining that they have to meet a producer for rights to a movie) (Sam and Dean laugh)

Dean: Wow.
Sam: I have a confession to make. I'm the one who called them up and told them I was a producer. (both laugh, glancing back at Ed and Harry)
Dean: Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat.

(Both laugh)

Sam: Truce?
Dean: Yeah, truce... at least for the next hundred miles.

Something Wicked [1.18]

Dean: Well, maybe he's [their father] gonna meet us there.
Sam:(scoffs) Yeah, cause he's been so easy to find at this point.
Dean: You're a real smart ass, you know that? (pauses) Don't worry, I'm sure there's something in Fitchberg worth killing.
Sam: Yeah? what makes you so sure?
Dean: Because I'm the oldest... which means I'm always right.
Sam: No, it doesn't.
Dean: Yeah, it totally does.

Sam: Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID!
Dean: Why not?
Sam: Because it says "bikini inspector" on it!

Michael: (sitting behind motel reception desk) King or two queens?
Dean: Two queens.
Michael: (looks at Sam, mutters) Yeah, I'll bet.
Dean: What'd you say?
Michael: Nice car. (smirks)

Dean: When we were there, I saw a patient. An old woman.
Sam: An old person, huh?
Dean: Yeah.
Sam: (eyebrows raised) At a hospital.
Dean: (looks up at Sam)
Sam: Wooo... better call the Coast Guard.
Dean: Well, listen, smart ass, she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall.
Sam: (silent)

Sam: I'm surprised you didn't draw on him right there.
Dean: Yeah, well, first of all, I wasn't gonna open fire at a freakin' pediatrics ward.
Sam: Good call.
Dean: Second, it wouldn't have done any good cause the bastard's bullet-proof unless he's chowing down on something, and third, I wasn't packing, which is probably a good thing, 'cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him just out of principle alone.
Sam: Getting wise in your old age, Dean.

Michael: You said you're a big brother.
Dean: Yeah.
Michael: You'd take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?
Dean: (glances back at Sam) Yeah... I would.
Michael: Me too. I'll help.

Dean: Well, we'll be right in the next room. We're gonna come in with guns, so as soon as we do, you roll off this bed and crawl under it.
Michael: What if you shoot me?
Dean: (shakes head) We won't shoot you. We're good shots. We're not gonna fire until you're clear, okay?
Michael: (nods)
Dean: Have you ever heard of a gunshot before?
Michael: Like in the movies?
Dean: This is gonna be a lot louder than in movies so I want you to stay under the bed, cover your ears. Do not come out till we say so, you understand?

Dean: HEY!
(Shtriga stops sucking the life out of Sam to look up at Dean)
Dean:(Dean shoots it in the head and the Shtriga falls off Sam) You okay, little brother?

Sam: Hey, Dean, I'm sorry
Dean: (looks confused) For what?
Sam: You know. I know I've given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it.
Dean: Oh God... kill me now.

Sam: It's too bad.
Dean: No, they'll be fine.
Sam: It's not what I meant. I meant Michael. (pauses) He'll always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same. You know... (pauses again) sometimes I wish that... (trails off)
Dean: What?
Sam: I wish I could have that kind of innocence.
Dean: (pauses) Well if it means anything, sometimes I wish you could too.

Provenance [1.19]

Sam: Alright, so I think I've got something.
Dean: Yeah, me too. (looks towards hot chick) I think we need to take a little shore leave, just a little one. What do you think, huh? I'm so on the door with this one.
Sam: So what are we today, Dean? Rock stars? Are we army rangers?
Dean: LA TV scouts, looking for people with special skills.

Dean: She's got a friend over there, probably can hook you up. What do you think?
Sam: Dean? Ah... no thanks. I can get my own dates.
Dean: Yeah, but you don't.
Sam: What's that suppose to mean?
Dean: Nothing. What've you got?

Daniel: Can I help you gentlemen?
Dean: I'd like some champagne please.
Sam: (to Dean, shocked) He's not a waiter.

Daniel: I'm Daniel Blake. This is my auction house. Now, gentlemen, this is a private showing and I don't remember seeing your name on the guest list.
Dean: (With a mouth full of food) We're there Chuckles, you just need to take another look. (looks around, sees a waiter holding out champagne glasses and helps himself to one) Ooh, finally!

Sarah: I'm Sarah Blake
Sam: Sam. And this is, uh... (turns to Dean who is yet again stuffing his mouth with food) my brother Dean...
Sarah: Dean.
Dean: Mmmmmmm.
Sarah: Can we get you some more mini quiches?
Dean: Mmmm, (shakes head) I'm good thanks.

Dean: Grant Wood, Grandma Moses...what?
Sam: Art History course. It's good for meeting girls.
Dean: It's like I don't even know you.

Dean: Well, we're not getting anything out of Chuckles, but, uh.. Sarah...
Sam: Yeah, maybe you can get her to write it all down on a cocktail napkin.
Dean: (chuckles) Not me.
Sam: Oh, no no no no. Pickups are your thing Dean.
Dean: It wasn't my butt she was checking out.

Dean: Sometimes you have to take one for the team.

Sarah: I don't know about Romeo here, but I'll have a beer.

Dean: So she just handed the providences over to you?
Sam: Provenances.
Dean: Provenances?
Sam: Yes, we went back to her place, I got a copy of the papers.
Dean: And?
Sam: And nothing. That's it. I left.
Dean: You didn't need to con her? Or do any special favors or anything like that?
Sam: Dean, would you get your mind out of the gutter, please?

(Sam and Dean are frantically searching for Dean's wallet)
Sarah: Hey guys!
Sam: Sarah! Hey!
Sarah: What are you doing here?
Sam: Err.. um.. we're leaving town and you know, we came to say goodbye.
Dean: What are you talking about? We're sticking around another day or two.
(Sam looks confused)
Sarah: Uh huh... (looks perplexed)
Dean: Oh Sam, by the way, I thought I'd give you that 20 bucks I owe you... (takes out his wallet from back pocket. Sam realises Dean has tricked him)

Sarah: Oh, well, that's too bad.
Sam: (sees painting he thought Dean and himself had burnt) OH MY GOD!
Sarah: What?
Sam: Thaha... that painting... looks so... good.
Sarah: (looks confused) If you can call that monstronsity good, then yeah, I guess...

Dean: Well, I’m tryin’ to pick the lock, but the door won’t budge.
Sam: Well, then, break it down.
Dean: Okay, genius, let me grab my battering ram.

Sam: I don't understand, Dean. We burned the damn thing.
Dean: Yeah, thank you, Captain Obvious.

Dean: Alright, well, if his head position changed, then maybe some other things in the painting changed as well, you know, can give us some clue.
Sam: What, like The Da Vinci Code?
Dean: I don't... know... I'm still waiting for the movie on that one.

Dean: Alright, you like her; she likes you. You're both consenting adults.
Sam: What's the point Dean? We'll just leave. We always leave.
Dean: Well, I'm not talking about marriage, Sam.
Sam: You know what, I don't get it. What do you care if I hook up?
Dean: 'Cause then maybe you wouldn't be so cranky all the time.

Dean: You know, seriously, Sam, this isn't just about hooking up, okay? I mean, I, I think that this Sarah girl could be good for you. And I don't mean any disrespect, but I'm—I'm sure that this is about Jessica, right? Now I don't know what it's like to lose somebody like that, but I would think that she would want you to be happy; God forbid, have fun one in awhile. Wouldn't she?
Sam:: Yeah, I know she would. Yeah, you're right - part of this is about Jessica, but not the main part.
Dean: What's it about? (Sam is silent) Yeah, alright.

Sam: Sarah, you saw that painting move.
Sarah: I, I was seeing things. It's impossible
Dean: Yeah, well, welcome to our world

Sam: Sarah, I know this sounds crazy, but we think that that painting is haunted.
Sarah: Huh... you're joking... (looks at the brothers)'re not joking. God! The guys I go out with!

Sarah: Look, I'm not saying that I'm not scared, cause I am scared as hell, but I'm not going to run and hide either. (walks towards the door) So, are we going or what? (exits)
Dean: Sam, marry that girl.

Sarah: Is there something here between us, or am I delusional?
Sam: You're not delusional.
Sarah: But, there's a but coming.
Sam: But, I don't think this is a good idea.
Sarah: Can I ask why?
Sam: 'Cause I like you.
Sarah: Wait... you lost me.
(both laugh)

Sarah: I thought the painting was harmless now.
Sam: Better be safe than sorry. We're gonna burn the sucker.
Sarah: I wanna come with you.
Sam: You sure?
Sarah: Yeah (gets out of car)
Dean: Hey, hey, hey, I'll stay here, you go make your move.
Sam: Sshh!
Dean: Sam, I'm serious!

Sarah: So, why did the girl do it?
Sam: Killing others, killing herself. Some people are just born tortured. So when they die, their spirits are just as dark.

Dean: I'll go wait in the car. See you, Sarah (reluctant to leave... but slowly walks off, muttering) I'm the one who burned the doll and destroyed the spirit, but don't thank me or anything.

Dead Man's Blood [1.20]

Dean: Looks like the maid didn't come today.
Sam: Hey, there's salt over here. Right inside the door.
Dean: You mean like protection-against-demons salt or oops-I-spilled-the-popcorn salt.
Sam: It's clearly a ring.

Dean: "Vampires nest in groups of eight to ten, smaller packs are sent out to hunt for food. Victims are taken to the nest, where the pack keeps them alive, bleeding them for days or weeks." Wonder if that's what happened to that 911 couple.
Sam: That's probably what dad's thinking. (sullenly) 'Course, it'd be nice if he just told us what he thinks.
Dean: So it is starting.
Sam: What?
Dean: Sam, we've been looking for dad all year. Now we're not with him for more than a couple hours and there's static already?
Sam: (scoffs) No. Look, I'm happy he's okay, alright? And I'm happy that we're all working together again.
Dean: Well, good.
Sam:'s just the way he treats us, like we're children.
Dean: (rolls his eyes) Oh, God.

John: Get back in the car.
Sam: No.
John: I said, get back in the damn car.
Sam: Yeah. And I said no.

Dean: Listen, stop it, stop it stop it! ( pushing between Sam and John) That's enough! (to John) That means you too.

Girl: Are you gonna kill me?
Kate: I'm gonna take you so high, you're never gonna come down.

John: Sammy.
Sam: What?
John: I don't think I ever told you this, but the day you were born, d'you know what I did?
Sam: No.
John: I put a hundred bucks into a savings account for you. I did the same thing for your brother. And every month I'd put in another hundred dollars, until- Anyway, my point is, Sam, that, this was never the life I wanted for you.

Sam: Hey, Dad, whatever happened to that college fund?
John: Spent it on ammo.
(Both laugh)

Dean: Whoo! Man. That's some heavy security to protect a bunch of dead guys.

Vamp: Car trouble? Let me give you a lift. Take you back to my place.
Dean: Naah, I'll pass. I usually draw the line at necrophilia.
Vamp: Oooo. (punches Dean in face, grabs him, and picks him up by the jaw.)

Dean: Sorry, I can't really stay with a chick that long- definitely not eternity.

Sam: You can't treat us like this.
John: Like what?
Sam: Like children.
John: You are my children.

John: I'm trying to keep you safe.
Dean: Dad, all due respect, but that's a bunch of crap.
John: Excuse me?

Dean: What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die and we coulda done something about it? You know, I've been thinking, and I think maybe Sammy's right about this one. I think we should do this together. We're stronger as a family, dad, we just are, you know it.
John: We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order.

John: So boys.
Sam: Yes, sir.
John: You ignored a direct order back there.
Sam: Yes, sir.
Dean: Yeah, but we saved your ass.
John: You're right.
Dean: I am?

Sam: Where we going, dad? What's the big deal about this gun!
Dean: Sammy come on! We can Q&A after we kill all the vampires.
John: Your brother is right. We don't have time for this.
Sam: Last time we saw you you said is to dangerous to be together. Now out of the blue you need our help! Obviously something big is going down and we wanna know what.
John: Get in the car!
Sam: No!!!
Jonh: I said get back in the damn car!
Sam: Yeah and I said NO!!!
Dean: Alright you made your point, tough guy. Look, we are all tired. We can talk about this later. Sammy I mean it c'mon.
Sam: This is why I left in a first place.
John: What you say?
Sam: You heard me!
John: Yeah, you left! Your brother, me, we need at you! You walked away, Sam, YOU WALKED AWAY!!!
Dean: Stop it, both of you!
Sam: You're the one who said don't come back, dad! You're the one who closed the door, not me! You were just pissed off you couldn't control me any more!

Salvation [1.21]

Dean: For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault.
Sam: Yeah, you’re right, it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem!
Dean: No, it’s not your problem, it’s our problem!
John: Okay. That’s enough.

John: Alright, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.
Dean: Call you! Are you kidding me? (crosses towards John) Dad, I called you from Lawrence, alright. Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone - I've got a better chance of winning the lottery.

Meg: Well, I’ve lied... a lot. I’ve stolen. I’ve lusted. And the other day I met this man – a nice guy, you know? And we had a really good chat...sort of like this. Then I slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest. Does that make me a bad person?

Pastor Jim: I like to say, salvation was created for sinners.

Sam: Hello?
Meg: Sam?
Sam: Who is this?
Meg: Think real hard. It’ll come to you.
Sam: (shocked) Meg. Last time I saw you, you fell out of a window.
Meg: Yeah, thanks to you. That really hurt my feelings, by the way.
Sam: Just your feelings? That was a seven-story drop.

John: I’m going to kill you.
Meg: Oh, John, please – mind your blood pressure.

Sam: Maybe we could tell them there's a gas leak, that might get them out of the house for a few hours.
Dean: Yeah, and how many times has that actually worked for us?
Sam: Yeah. (long pause) We could always tell them the truth.
Sam and Dean: (in unison) Naaah.

Meg: John, you made it. Too bad, really. I was hoping to kill more of your friends.
John: Sorry to disappoint.
Meg: I can see where your boys get their good looks. But I must admit, considering what they say about you, I thought you’d be….taller. (JOHN says nothing.) Well, aren’t you the chatty one? You wanna get to business? Fine. Why don’t you hand over the gun?
John: If I give you the gun, how do I get out of here?
Meg: Well, if you’re as good as they say you are, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.
John: Maybe I’ll just shoot you.
Meg: You wanna shoot me, baby? Go ahead. It won’t end anything. There’s more where I came from.

Meg: You're dead, John. Your boys are dead.
John: I never used the gun, how could I know it wouldn't work?
Meg: I am so not in the mood for this, I've just been shot!
John: Well then, I guess you're lucky the gun wasn't real.
Meg: That's funny, John. We're gonna strip the skin from your bones, but that was funny.

Sam: Dean, uh, I want to thank you.
Dean: For what?
Sam: For everything. You've always had my back, you know. Even when I couldn't count on anyone, I could always count on you. And, uh, I just wanted to let you know, just in case.
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, you kidding me?
Sam: What?
Dean: Don't say just in case something happens to you, I don't want to hear that freaking speech, man. Nobody's dying tonight, not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, understand me?

Cute Girl: Hi, is there anything I can do for you?
Dean: Oh god, yes

Sam: It's still in there!
Dean: Sam - Sam! No!
Sam: Dean, let me go it's still in there!
Dean: It's burning to the ground! It's suicide!
Sam: I don't care!
Dean: I DO!

Sam: If you had just let me go in there, I could have ended all this.
Dean: Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.
Sam: You don’t know that.
Dean: So, what, you’re just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, you’re damn right I am.
Dean: Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen—not as long as I’m around.
Sam: What the hell are you talkin’ about, Dean? We’ve been searching for this demon our whole lives. It’s the only thing we’ve ever cared about.
Dean: Sam, I wanna waste it. I do, okay? But it’s not worth dyin’ over.
Sam: What?
Dean: I mean it. If huntin’ this demon means you gettin’ yourself killed, then I hope we never find the damn thing.
Sam: That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.
Dean: You said yourself once….that no matter what we do, they’re gone. And they’re never comin’ back.
Sam: Don’t you say that! Don’t you—not after all this, don’t you say that!
Dean: (emotionally) Sammy, look….the three of us—that’s all we have. And that’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holdin’ it together, man. Without you and Dad….

Devil's Trap [1.22]

Bobby: I know it’s somethin’ big. A storm’s comin’. And you boys, your daddy—you are smack in the middle of it.

Meg: No more crap, okay? I want the Colt, Sam—the real Colt. Right now.
Sam: We don’t have it on us. We buried it.
Meg: Didn’t I say, “No more crap”? I swear, after everything I heard about you Winchesters, I’ve got to tell you, I’m a little underwhelmed. First, Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then he leaves the real gun with you two chuckleheads. Lackluster, men. I mean, did you really think I wouldn’t find you?
Dean: Actually, we were counting on it. Gotcha.

Dean: Where's our father, Meg?
Meg: You didn't ask very nice.
Dean: Where's our father, bitch?
Meg: Jeez, you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I forgot. You don’t.

John: Killing this demon comes first. Before me, before everything.
Sam: (looks at wounded Dean) No sir. Not before everything.

John (possessed): He’s gonna taste the iron in your blood.
Dean: Let him go, or I swear to God...
John (possessed): What? What are you and God gonna do? You see as far as I’m concerned, this is justice. You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter. The one in the alley? That was my boy. You understand?
Dean: You got to be kidding me.
John (possessed): What? You the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? Oh, that’s right, I forgot I did. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right.
Dean: You son of a bitch.
Sam: I wanna know why. Why’d you do it?
John (possessed): You mean why’d I kill mommy and pretty little Jess?
Sam: Yeah
John (possessed): [to Dean] You know I never told you this, but Sam was going to ask her to marry him. Been shopping for rings and everything. You wanna know why? Because they got in the way.
Sam: In the way of what?
John (possessed): My plans for you, Sammy, you, and all the children like you.
Dean: Listen, you mind just getting this over with, because I really can’t stand the monologuing.
John (possessed): Funny, but that’s all part of your MO isn’t it? Mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.
Dean: Oh yeah? What’s that?
John (possessed): You know you fight, and you fight for this family, but the truth is, they don’t need you, not like you need them. Sam, he’s clearly John's favorite. Even when they fight its more concern than he’s ever shown you.
Dean: I bet you’re real proud of your kids too huh? Oh wait, I forgot, I wasted them.

Sam: [off screen] There's still one bullet left, i mean , we found the demon once, we can- Aaahhhh! [ screams hysterically, flailing his arms]
Dean: [joins in the hysterical screaming and flailing of limbs]
John: [laughs and hits his knee with the script]
Sam: [makes a face at one of the cameras]

Season 2

In My Time Of Dying [2.1]

Sam: Get back. Or I'll kill you I swear to God.
Possessed Trucker: You won't. You're saving that bullet for someone else.
Sam: (cocks the Colt) You wanna bet?

Dean: (to Sam) Come on, you're the psychic. Give me some ghost whispering or something!

John: Here. (hands Sam a card) Give them my insurance.
Sam: (sceptically) Elroy McGillicuddy?
John: And his two loving sons.

Sam: I'll find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on him.
(This is exactly what Dean suggested earlier; Sam had unconsciously heard it)

John: Where's the Colt?
Sam: Your son is dying and you're worried about the Colt?
John: We are hunting this demon, and maybe it's hunting us too. That gun might be our only cover.
Sam:'s in the trunk. They towed the car to a yard off of I-83.

Sam: Hey Dad, you know, the demon, he said he had plans for me and the children like me. Do you have any idea what he meant by that?
John: No, I don't.
(Sam leaves the room)
Dean: (to John) Well, you sure know something.

Sam: Oh man, (looking at the Impala) Dean is gonna be pissed.
Bobby: Look, Sam, this just ain't worth a tow. I say we empty the trunk and sell the rest for scrap.
Sam: No, Dean would kill me if we did that. When he gets better he's going to want to fix this.
Bobby: There's nothing to fix. The frame's a pretzel, the engine's ruined... there's barely any parts worth salvaging!
Sam: Listen to me, Bobby: If there's only one working part, that's enough. We're not just going to give up on... (realizes he's no longer talking about the car)

Dean: Come on, Dad. You've got to help me. I've got to get better, I've got to get back in there. You haven't called a soul for help, you haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything, aren't you even going to say anything?! I've done everything you've ever asked me, everything. I've given everything I've ever had. Now you're just going to sit there and watch me die? What the hell kind of father are you?!

John: I have a plan, Sam.
Sam: That's exactly my point!! Dean is dying, and you have a plan!!! You know, you care more about this demon than you do saving your own son!
John: Do not tell me how I feel! I am doing this for Dean.
Sam: How? How is revenge gonna help him? You're not thinking about anybody but yourself- it's the same, selfish obsession!
John: Oh that's funny, y'know what, I thought this was your obsession too! This demon: killed you mother, killed your girlfriend! You begged me to be a part of this hunt! Now if you'd killed that damn thing when you had the chance, none of this would've happened!!
Sam: It was possessing you dad, I would've killed you too!
John: Yeah, and your brother would be awake right now!
Sam: Go to Hell.

(After swiping a glass of water off a table in anger)
Dean: Dude, I full-on Swazyed that mother!

Tessa: What are you, some kind of New Agey guy?
Dean: (annoyed) You see me messing with crystals and listening to Yanni?

Tessa: I just think, whatever's going to happen is going to happen. It's out of my control; it's just fate.
Dean: That's crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting, no matter what.

Sam: Hey. I think maybe you you're around, and if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but, um, there's one way we can talk.
(Sam pulls out a "Mystical Talking Board")
Dean: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Sam: Dean? Dean, are you here?
Dean: God, I feel like I'm at a slumber party.

Dean: Thanks for not giving up on me Sammy.

(John has just performed the ritual that will summon the demon)
Custodian: The Hell are you doin' down here, buddy?
John: I can explain.
Custodian: Yeah? You're gonna explain to security. C'mon, follow me.
John: Hey. (draws the Colt) How stupid do you think I am.
Custodian: (turns, and his eyes turn yellow) You really want an honest answer to that?

Yellow eyed demon: You, conjuring me, John? I'm surprised. I took you for a lot of things, but suicidally reckless wasn't one of them.

Sam: Dean, are you here? Couldn't find anything in the book. I don't know how to help you. But I'll keep trying, alright? As long as you keep fighting. I mean, come on, you can't— you can't leave me here alone with Dad, we'll kill each other, you know that. Dean, you gotta hold on. You can't go, man, not now. We were just starting to be brothers again. Can you hear me?

Dean: There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse is gonna rot in the ground and my family is gonna die!

Yellow eyed demon: It's very unseemly, making deals with devils.

Yellow eyed Demon: Why John, you're a sentimentalist. If only your boys knew, how much their daddy loved them.

Yellow eyed demon: You know the truth, right? About Sammy? And the other children?
John: Yeah. I've known for a while.
Yellow eyed demon: But Sam doesn't, does he? You've been playing dumb.

John: I'm gonna make sure that Dean's okay, with my own eyes.
Yellow eyed demon: Oh, John, I'm offended. Don't you trust me?

John: So we have a deal.
Yellow eyed demon: No, John, not yet. You still need to sweeten the pot.

John: How you feeling, dude?
Dean: Fine I guess. I'm alive.
John: That's what matters.
Sam:: Where were you last night?
John: I had some things to take care of.
Sam:: Well, that's specific.
Dean: Come on, Sam.
Sam:: Did you go after the Demon?
John: No.
Sam:: You know, why don't I believe you right now?
John: Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting I don't even know what we're fighting about. Just butting heads. Look, Sammy I've, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?
Sam: Dad, are you all right?
John: Yeah... I'm just a little tired. Hey Sam, would you mind getting me a cup of caffeine?
Sam:: Yeah, sure.
Dean: What is it?
John: You know... when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt. And after what I'd seen I'd be...I'd be wrecked. And you... you'd come up to me and put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in they eye and, you'd say 'Its okay, dad.' Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: Why?
John: You shouldn't have had to say that to me. I should've been saying that to you. I put- I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.
Dean: This really you talking?
John: Yeah, it's really me.
Dean: Why you saying this stuff?
John: I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay?
Dean: Yeah dad, you know I will. You're scaring me.
John: Don't be scared, Dean.

Everybody Loves A Clown [2.2]

Dean: Stop it, Sam.
Sam: Stop what?
Dean: Stop askin’ if I need anything, stop askin’ if I’m okay. I’m okay. Really. I promise.
Sam: All right. Dean, it’s just…we’ve been at Bobby’s for over a week now and you haven’t brought up Dad once.
Dean: You know what, you’re right. Come here. I’m gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug –- maybe even slow dance.

Sam: Before...before he...[He stops, unable to get the words out] Did he say anything to you? About anything?
Dean: [pause] No. Nothin'.

[Dean and Sam are forced to drive a Dodge Caravan while the Impala is still being repaired]
Dean: I feel like a freakin' soccer mom.

Dean: [looking around Harvelle's, the barrel of a rifle is placed against his back] Oh, please let that be a rifle.
Jo: Nah, I'm just real happy to see you.

Sam: So look, if you can help, we could use all the help we can get.
Ellen: Well we can't. But Ash will.
Sam: Who's Ash?
Ellen: ASH!
[A man in a red plaid jacket with a mullet sleeping on the pool table jolts awake]
Ash: What? Closin' time?
Sam: That's Ash?
Jo: Mmm hmm, He's a genius.
[Skips to a discussion at the bar with Ash, John's journal is presented to him]
Dean: Come on, this guy's no genius. He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie.
Ash: I like you.
Dean: Thank you.

[Discussing John's research]

Ash: There's signs... Omens, if you can track 'em you can track this demon. You know like... crop failures, electrical storms... You ever been struck by lightning? It ain't fun.
Sam: Can you track it or not?
Ash: Yeah, with this, I think so. But it's gonna take time... uh, gimmie... 51 hours

[Ash's hair gets put on topic]
Ash: All business up front...and party in the back!

Dean: I know what you're thinking: why'd it have to be clowns? [reference to Raiders of the Lost Ark "Why'd it have to be snakes"]
Sam: [groans]
'Dean: You thought I'd forget. [laughs] C'mon, you still bust out crying every time Ronald MacDonald comes on the tv.

Sam: At least I'm not afraid of flying.
Dean: Planes crash, Sam!
Sam: And apparently clowns kill!

Dean: Excuse me. We're looking for a Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?
Amazing Papazian: What is that? Some kind of joke? [removes his glasses, showing he's blind]
Dean: Oh God, I'm sorry...
Amazing Papazian: You think I wouldn't give my eye teeth to see Mr. Cooper, or a sunset, or anything at all...?
Dean: [Aside, to Sam] You wanna give me a little help here?
Sam: Not really.
Midget Clown: Hey Barry, is there a problem?
Amazing Papazian: Yeah, this guy hates blind people.
Dean: No, no I don't...
Midget Clown: Hey buddy, what's your problem?
Dean: Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding.
Midget Clown: Little? You son of a bitch...
Dean: No, no, no, I'm just... Can somebody tell me where Mr. Cooper is? Please?

Mr. Cooper: You two have never worked a show in your lives before, have you?
Dean: Nope. But we really need the work. So... and ah, Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady.

Dean: Hello?
Sam: Hey, man.
Dean: What’s the matter? You sound like you just saw a clown.
Sam: Very funny.

Dean: I just think it’s really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It’s like, “Oh, what would Dad want me to do?” Sam, you spent your entire life sluggin’ it out with that man. I mean, hell, you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him, and now that he’s dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I’m sorry, Sam, but you can’t. It’s too little, too late.
Sam: Why are you sayin' this to me?
Dean: Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this! I’m dealin’ with Dad’s death! Are you?

[After Dean and Sam return to the roadhouse, Ash emerges from his room]
Ash: Where you guys been? Been waitn' for ya...
Sam: We were working a job, Ash. [Ash looks blankly at Sam] Clowns?
Ash: Clowns? What the f-
Dean: [Interrupting] You got something for us Ash?

[Ash has rigged a laptop to an alarm if any of The Demon's signs appear anywhere in the world]
Sam: Ash Where'd you learn to do all this?
Ash: MIT. Before I got bounced, for fighting.
Sam: MIT?
Ash: It's a school in Boston.

[JO and DEAN stare at Sam, giving him the hint to leave.]

Sam: Oh, yeah. I’ve got to, uh…I’ve got to go…over there…right now. [He leaves.]

Sam: You were right.
Dean: About what?
Sam: About me and Dad. I’m sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I’m sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know, he died thinkin’ that I hate him. So, you’re right. What I’m doin’ right now - it is too little. It’s too late. [pause] I miss him, man. And I feel guilty as hell. [He is on the verge of tears.] And I’m not all right. Not at all. [pause] But neither are you. That much I know. I’ll let you get back to work. [He leaves.]

Bloodlust [2.3]

[Dean is overjoyed to have his Impala back]
Sam: Look, if you two need time alone, just say so.
Dean: [to the Impala] Don't listen to him, baby. He doesn't understand us.

Sam: (talking to Dean) Give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine.

Sheriff: What newspaper did you say you worked for?
Dean: World Weekly News.
Sam: Weekly World News.
Dean: World...
Sam: Weekly World News.
Dean: Wor... I'm new.
Sheriff: Get out of my office

Dean: John.
Jeff: Jeff.
Dean: Jeff, I know that. Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in the office.
Jeff: But Dr. Dworkin is on vacation.
Dean: He is back and he is pissed he screaming for you, men so if I were you, I would…
Jeff: Okay
Dean: Okay…Those Satanists in Florida, they marked their victims?
Sam: Yeah. Reverse pentacle on the forehead.
Dean: Yeah…So much F’d up crap happens in Florida.

Dean: All right, Open it.
Sam: You open it.
Dean: Wuss.

Sam: Dean, get me a bucket.
Dean: Find something?
Sam: No, I think I'm going to puke.

Sam: So... we're looking for some people.
Bartender: Sure, its hard to be lonely.

Dean: Did you check out that Barker farm?
Gordon: It’s a bust. Just a bunch of hippy freaks. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone.

Dean: You all right, Sammy?
Sam: Yeah, I'm fine.
Gordon: Well, lighten up a little, Sammy.
Sam: He's the only one who gets to call me that.

Sam: (sighs) Look, I don't want to bring you guys down, I'm just gonna head back to the motel.
Dean: (groans slightly) You sure?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Hey, Sammy! Remind me to beat that buzz-kill out of you later, alright?

Gordon: You know why I love this life?
Dean: Hmm?
Gordon: It's all black and white. There's no maybe. Find the bad thing, kill it. You see, most people spend their lives in shades of gray. "Is this right, is that wrong?" Not us.

Dean: He was just one of those guys... took some terrible beatings... just kept coming. So you're saying to yourself, he's indestructible, he'll always be around... nothing can kill my Dad. And then just like that...he's gone. Can't talk about this to Sammy--gotta keep my game face on. The truth is I'm not handling it too well.

Sam: I thought you said [Gordon] was a good hunter?
Ellen: Yeah, and Hannibal Lecter is a good psychiatrist.

Dean: And I’m supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam. No, thanks. I’ll go with Gordon.
Sam: Right, because Gordon’s such an old friend. You think I can’t see what this is?
Dean: What are you talking about?
Sam: He’s a substitute of dad, isn’t he? A poor one.
Dean: Shut up, Sam.
Sam: He’s not even close, Dean. Not on his best day.
Dean: You know I’m not gonna talk—
Sam: You slap on his big fake smile but I can see through it. Cause I know how you feel. Dad’s dead, and he left a hole and it hurt so bad you can’t take it. But you can’t just fill that hole with whoever you want to. It’s an insult to his memory.
Dean: Okay. [He turns around and hit Sam.]
Sam: You hit all you want. It won’t change anything.

Eli: Why are we explaining ourselves to him [Sam]?
Lenore: Eli...
Eli: We choke on cattle blood so they don't have to suffer. And tonight, they murdered Conrad. And they celebrated after.
Lenore: Eli, that's enough.
Sam: Yeah, Eli, that's enough!

Dean: You’re good. A monster pain in the ass…but you’re good.

Dean: (to Gordon) I might be like you, and I might not. But you’re the one tied up right now.

Sam: Ready to go, Dean?
Dean: Not yet. (to Gordon) I guess this is goodbye. Well, it’s been real. (punches Gordon right off the chair) Okay, I’m good now. We can go

Dean: Sam.
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Clock me one.
Sam: What?
Dean: Come on. I won’t even hit you back. Let’s go.
Sam: No.
Dean: Let’s go. You get a freebie. Hit me. Come on.
Sam: You look like you just went 12 rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I’ll take a rain check.

Dean: Think about the hunts we went on, our whole lives.
Sam: Okay.
Dean: What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing? I mean, the way dad raised us- -
Sam: Dean, after what happened to mom, dad did the best he could.
Dean: I know he did. But the man wasn’t perfect. And the way he raised us to hate those things? And, man, I hate them. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn’t even think about it. Hell, I even enjoyed it.
Sam: You didn’t kill Lenore.
Dean: Well, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her, kill them all.
Sam: Yean, Dean, but you didn’t. And that’s what matters.
Dean: Yeah. And because you’re a pain in my ass.
Sam: I guess I might have to stick around and be a pain in the ass, then.
Dean: Thanks.
Sam: Don’t mention it.

Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things [2.4]

Dean: Come on, Sam, I’m begging you. This is stupid.
Sam: Why?
Dean: Going to visit mom’s grave? She doesn’t have a grave. There was no body left after the fire.
Sam: She has a headstone.
Dean: Yeah, put by her uncle, man we’ve never met. So you wanna go pay your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger ? Come on
Sam: Dean, that’s not the point.
Dean: Well, then enlighten me, Sam.
Sam: It’s not about a body or a casket. It’s about her memory, okay? And after dad, it just feels like the right thing to do.
Dean: It’s irrational, is what it is.
Sam: Look, man, no one asked you to come.
Dean: Why don’t we swing by the Roadhouse? We haven’t heard from the demon. We should be hunting that son of a bitch down.
Sam: That’s a good idea. You should. Just drop me off. I’ll hitch a ride, I’ll meet you tomorrow.
Dean: Right. I’ll be stuck with those people, making awkward small talk until you show up. No, thanks.

Television that Sam is watching: [sultry voice] Next on the skin channel, Casa Erotica IV a tale of two Latin beauties...
[Dean enters and Sam quickly turns off the television]
Sam: [off-handedly] Hey. ...What?
Dean: Awkward...

Sam: Okay. So what are you thinking?
Dean: I don’t know, unholy ground, maybe.
Sam: Un…
Dean: What? If something evil happened, it could easily poison the ground. Remember the farm outside Cedar Rapids?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Could be the sign of a demonic presence. Or the Angela girl’s spirit, if it’s powerful enough.

(Sam nods, rolls his eyes and walks away)

Dean: Well, don’t get too excited, you might pull something.

Dean: Sam, you bring Dad's death up one more time, I swear...
Sam: Please, Dean, it's killing you. Please. We've already lost Dad, we've lost Mom, I've lost Jessica and now I'm gonna lose you too.
Dean: We better get out of here before the cops come. I hear you, okay? I'm being an ass and I'm sorry. But right now, we got a freaking zombie running around, and we need to figure out how to kill it. Right?
Sam: Our lives are weird, man.
Dean: You're telling me. Come on.

Dean: I'm just not getting an 'angry spirit' vibe from Angela. I have been reading this though. [holds up a pink book]
Sam: You stole the girl's diary?
Dean: Yeah, Sam, and if anything, that girl is a little too nice.
Sam: So what do we do?
Dean: Keep digging, talk to more of her friends.
Sam: You get any names?
Dean: You kiddin' me? I have her bestest friend in the whole wide world.

Dean: We can't just waste 'em with a headshot?
Sam: Dude, you've been watching way too many Romero flicks.

Dean: You're telling me there's no lore on how to smoke them?
Sam: No, Dean, I'm telling you there's too much. I mean, there's at least a hundred different legends on the walking dead, but they all have different methods for killing them. Some say setting them on fire... uh, one said [flipping through John's journal] ...where is it? Right here. "Feeding their hearts to wild dogs." That's my personal favorite.

Dean: Neil, it's your grief counselors. We've come to hug.

[Searching Neil's house and finding a heavily bolted door above the stairs to the zombie pen]
Dean: [jokingly] Well, unless this is where he keeps his porn...

[upon finding the empty zombie pen]
Sam: You think Angela's going after somebody?
Dean: [knocking aside a grate to reveal a large hole in the wall leading outside] Nah, I think she went out to rent Beaches.
Sam: Look, smartass, she might kill someone. We've got to find her, Dean.
Dean: Yeah. Alright, she, uh... She clipped Matt because he was cheating, right?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Well, it takes two to, you know... have hardcore sex.

Dean: I've heard of some people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid, but you get the cake!...

Neil: You're crazy.
Dean: Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and we're crazy?

Dean: What's dead should stay dead.
[repeated line]

Sam: I think she broke my hand.
Dean: You're just too fragile. We'll get it looked at later.

Sam: Did we have to use me as bait?
Dean: I figured you were more her type. She had pretty crappy taste in guys.

Dean: Sam…You and dad…You’re the most important people in my life. And now…I never should’ve come back, Sam. It wasn’t natural. And now look what’s come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that’s it. So tell me. What could you possibly say to make that all right?

Simon Said [2.5]

Sam: So, I’m a freak now?
Dean: You’ve always been a freak.

[Sam knocks on Ash's door, which bears the sign "Dr. Badass is: In/Out"]
Sam: Ash. [knocks again] ...Hey, Ash!
[Dean knocks]
Dean: Hey, Dr. Badass!
[Door opens and Ash is completely naked]
Ash: Sam. Dean. Sam and Dean.
Sam: Hey, Ash... We need your help.
Ash: Well, hell, then, guess I need my pants.

[Ash is searching unsuccessfully for information on the case]
Sam: Alright, try something else for me. Search Guthry for a housefire; it would be 1983, fire's origin would be the baby's nursery, night of the kid's 6th month birthday.
[Ash stares]
Ash: Okay, now that is just weird, man. Why the hell would I be looking for that?
[Sam put a bottle on the counter]
Sam: Because there's a PBR in it for ya.
Ash: Give me 15 minutes.

[Jo puts music on and takes tray of glasses to counter, Dean gives her a look]
Jo: What?
Dean: REO Speedwagon?
Jo: Damn right, REO, Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean: He sings it from the hair, there's a difference.

Dean: If I ran off with you, I think your mother might kill me. [gives Ellen a sheepish grin as she glares at him from across the room]
Jo: You're afraid of my mother?
Dean: [turns back to Jo] I think so.

[Dean is singing "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon in the car]
Dean: "And even as I wander, I'm keepin' you in sight/ You're a candle in a window on a cold dark winter's night..."
[Sam appears confused and annoyed]
Dean: [continuing] "And I'm getting closer than I ever thought, I might-"
Sam: [staring at Dean] You're kidding, right?
Dean: I heard the song somewhere; I can't get it out of my head. I don't know, man.

Server: If you want to find him [Andy], try Orchard St. Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side.
Dean: Barbarian queen?
Server: She's riding a polar bear, it's kinda hard to miss.

Dean: What's wrong?
Sam: Nothing.
Dean: Sam (Baby?!), you look like you’re sucking on a lemon. What’s going on?

Dean: I call do-over.
Sam: What are you, 7?

[Dean and Sam are observing Andy's van from their car]
Dean: I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet.

[Looking through the items in a van]
Dean: And Moby Dick's bong.

Andy: This is a cherry ride.
Dean: Yeah, thanks.
Andy: Man, a ’67. Impala’s best year, if you ask me. This is a serious classic.
Dean: Yeah. You know, I just rebuilt her, too. Can’t let a car like this one go.
Andy: Damn straight. Hey, can I have it?
Dean: Sure, man!
Andy: Sweet! [He gets inside.]
Dean: Hop right in there…there you go.
Andy: Nice! Take it easy.
Dean: All right.

[Sam calls Dean on his cell phone]
Sam: Dean! Andy has the Impala!
Dean: I know! He just sort of asked me for it, and then I let him take it...
Sam: You what?!
Dean: He full-on Obi-waned me! It's mind control, man!

[Upon finding the Impala intact]
Dean: Oh, thank God! I'm sorry baby, I'll never leave you again! At least he left the keys in it.
Sam: Yeah. Real Samaritan, this guy.
Dean: Well, it looks like he can’t work his mojo just by twitchin’ his nose. He’s gotta use verbal commands.

Dean: Argh!!! You know, one day I'd love to just sit down, and eat something that I didn't have to microwave in a Mini-Mart.

Andy: Hey! You think I haven't seen you two? Why are you following me?
Sam: Well, we're lawyers. See, a relative of yours has passed...
Andy: [Interupting.] Tell the truth.
Sam: That's what I'm...
Dean: We hunt demons.
Andy: What?
Sam: [Shocked.] Dean!
Dean: Demons, spirits, things your worst nightmares wouldn't even touch. Sam here, he's my brother...
Sam: Dean! Shut up!
Dean: I'm trying. He's psychic, kinda like you. Well, not really like you, but see he thinks you're a murderer and he's afraid that he's gonna become one himself because you're all part of something that's terrible and I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right.

[After the boys determine Andy to be innocent, Andy and Sam are discussing their abilities]
Andy: You get visions... of people about to die? [Sam nods] ...That's impossible.
Sam: A lot of people would say the same thing about what you do.
Andy: [Pause] But death visions? Dude, that sucks.When I got my mind thing, it was like a gift, you know? It was like I won the lotto.
Sam: But you still live in a van. I don’t get it. I mean, you could have anything you ever wanted.
Andy: I’ve got everything I need.
Sam: So, you’re really not a killer, huh?
Andy: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.
Sam: That’s good. It means there’s hope for both of us.

Office Clerk: Probably shouldn't have let you kids in here...
Andy: No, it will all be fine. Just go get a cup of coffee, alright? 'These aren't the droids you're looking for.'
Dean: Awesome.

[Reviewing county birth records]
Sam: Andy, it's true. Holly Beckett was your birth mother.
Andy: Does anyone have a Vicodin?
Sam: Dr. Jennings was her doctor too... I mean, he oversaw the adoption. You have a solid connection to both of them.
Andy: Yeah, but I didn't kill them.
Dean: We believe you. But who did?
Sam: I think I've got a pretty good guess. Holly Beckett gave birth to twins.
Andy: [Holding his head, awestruck] I have an evil twin...

[Speaking with his "evil twin", Webber]
Andy: Are you really this stupid? You learn you've got a twin: You call him up, you go out for a drink! You don't start killing people!

Sam: Dean, you should stay back.
Dean: No argument here. I’ve had my head screwed with enough for one day.

Ellen: You mind your tone with me, boy. This isn’t just your war, this is war. Now, something big and bad is coming, and it’s coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now, at best, all we’ve got is us, together. No secrets or half-truths here.

No Exit [2.6]

Dean: Young girl got kidnapped by an evil cult.
Sam: Yeah, and does this girl have a name?
Dean: Katie Holmes.
Sam: That's funny... and for you, so bitchy.

Dean: We rarely drink before 10, anyway.

Jo: [impatiently holds out a case file] Take it, it won't bite.
Dean: No, but your mom might.

Dean: What the hell are you doing here?
Jo: There you are, honey. [She walks over to him and puts her arm around his waist.] This is my boyfriend, Dean, and his buddy, Sam.
Ed: [shaking their hands] Good to meet you. Quite a gal you’ve got here.
Dean: Oh, yeah, she’s a pistol. [He chuckles.]
Jo: So, did you already check out the apartment? [He doesn’t answer.] The one for rent?
Dean: Y-yeah, yes. Loved it. Great flow.
Ed: How’d you get in?
Dean: It was open.
Jo: Now, Ed, when did the last tenant move out?
Ed: Oh, about a month ago. Cut and run, too. Stiffed me for the rent.
Jo: [laughing] Well, her loss, our gain. ‘Cause if Dean-o loves it, that’s good enough for me.
Dean: Oh, sweetie. [He hits her on the back.]
Jo: [handing Ed a wad of cash] We’ll take it.

Dean: Hunters don't tip that well.
Jo: well they ain't good at poker either.

Dean: That’s ectoplasm. Well, Sam, I think I know what we’re dealing with here. [beat] It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

[Dean passing back and forth behind Jo and Jo twirling a knife in her hands]

Jo:(to Dean) would you sit down please?!

(Dean after an annoyed look sits down)

Dean: (after saying something to Jo) would you put the knife down?!

Jo: So you gonna buy me dinner?
Dean: What are you talking about?
Jo: It’s just if you’re gonna ride me this close, it’s only decent you buy me dinner.
Dean: Oh, that’s hilarious.

Dean: Jo, you’ve got options. No one in their right mind chooses this life. My dad started me on this when I was so young, I wish I could do something else.
Jo: You love the job.
Dean: Yeah, but I’m a little twisted.
Jo: You don’t think I’m a little twisted, too?
Dean: Jo, you’ve got a mother that worries about you, who wants something more for you. Those are good things. You don’t throw things like that away. They might be hard to find later.

Dean: Ah! Should have cleaned the pipes.
Jo: What?
Dean: Uh, the, um, pipes, they need cleaning.
Jo: [hits Dean] Shut up!

Dean: (answers the phone) Yeah.
Ellen: You lied to me. She's there.
Dean: Ellen.
Ellen: No, Ash told me everything. The man's a genius, but he folds like a cheap suit. Now you put my damn daughter on the phone.
Dean: She's gonna have to call you back, she taking care of... feminine business.
Ellen: Yeah, right. Where is she? Where is she?!?
Dean: Look, we'll get her back.
Ellen: Get her back? Back from what?
Dean: The spirit we're hunting, it took her.
Ellen: Oh my God.
Dean: She'll be okay, I promise.
Ellen: You promise. That is not the first time I've heard that from a Winchester.

Sam: So, is this as glamorous as you thought it would be?
Jo: Except for all the pee-your-pants scares, yeah.

Jo: You ripped off a cement truck?
Dean: I'll give it back.

The Usual Suspects [2.7]

Sam: We saw the second-largest ball of twine in the continental U.S. Awesome.

Ballard: Sam, you seem like a good kid. It’s not your fault Dean’s your brother. We can’t pick our family.

Krause: I'm with the public defenders office. I'm your lawyer.
Dean: Oh, thank God. I'm saved

[Sam calls his public defender Matlock minutes after Dean gives him the same comment]
Lawyer: [surprised] You really are brothers, aren't you?

Dean: What do you think, Scully, want to check it out?
Sam: I'm not Scully, you're Scully.
Dean: No, I'm Mulder. You're a red-headed woman.

Sam: Anthony Gyles' body was found right about here. (reads) "Throat slit so deep, part of his spinal cord was visible."
Dean: (whistles) What do you think? Vengeful spirit, underline "vengeful"?

Dean: My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone.

Sheridan: You murdered them in cold blood just like that girl in St. Louis.
Dean: Oh, yeah, that wasn't me either. That was a shapeshifter creature that only looked like me.

[Ballard comes in to Dean's interrogation room]
Dean: Can we make this quick? I'm a little tired. It's been a long day, you know, with your partner assaulting me and all.
Ballard: I wanna know more about that stuff you were talking about earlier.
Dean: Time Life. "Mysteries of the Unknown". Look it up.

Sam: This is bothering me.
Diana: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Sam: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty much par for the course, actually.

Diana: How did you get those? Those are from crime scenes and booking photos.
Sam: You have your job, I have mine.

Sam: Wow, I'd say we've officially crossed over into weird.

Krause: Do you understand how serious these charges are?
Dean: I’m handcuffed to a table. Yeah, I get it. Humor me.

Dean: Pee break? So soon? I think you might wanna get your prostate checked.

Sheridan:(talking about Dean) We can pin the whole thing on him. No trial, nothing, just one more dead scum bag.
Dean: Hey!

Ballard: Unless... I just happened to turn my back, you walked away, I could tell them the suspects escaped.
Sam: Wait, are you sure?
Dean: Yes, she’s sure, Sam!

Sam: Nice lady.
Dean: Yeah, for a cop. Did she look familiar to you?
Sam: No, why?
Dean: I don’t know. Anyway, are you hungry?
Sam: No.
Dean: For some reason, I could really go for some pea soup.

Crossroad Blues [2.8]

Sam: So much for a low profile. You've got a warrant in St. Louis, and now you're officially in the Feds' database.
Dean: Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something.
Sam: Dean, it's not funny. Makes the job harder. We've got to be more careful now.
Dean: Well, what have they got on you?
Sam: I'm sure they just...haven't posted it yet.
Dean: Wait - no accessory, nothing?
Sam: Shut up.
Dean: [laughs] You're jealous.
Sam: No, I'm not!
Dean: Uh-huh. All right, what have you got on the case there, you innocent, harmless young man, you?

Sam: Whatever they are, they're big, nasty...
Dean: Yeah, I bet they could hump the crap out of your leg. Look at that one, huh? [chuckles] What? They could!

Sam: So?
Dean: The secretary's name is Carly. She's 23, she kayaks, and they're real.
Sam: You didn't happen to ask her if she's seen any black dogs lately, did you?
Dean: Every complaint called in this week about everything big, black or dog-like. There's 19 calls in all. And I don't know what this thing is.
Sam: You mean Carly's MySpace address?
Dean: Yeah, MySpace. What the hell is that? [Sam laughs] Seriously, is that, like, some sort of porn site?

Sam: We’ve got to find out if anyone else struck any bargains around here.
Dean: Great. So, we’ve got to clean up these people’s mess for them? I mean, they’re not exactly squeaky clean. Nobody put a gun to their head and forced them to play “Let’s Make a Deal.”
Sam: So, what, we should just leave them to die?
Dean: Somebody goes over Niagara in a barrel, you gonna jump in and try to save them?

Dean: This house probably isn't up next on MTV Cribs, is it?
Sam: Yeah, so whatever kind of deal he made...
Dean: wasn't for cash. Aw, who knows? Maybe his place is full of babes in Princess Leia bikinis.

Dean: So, what is that stuff out front?
George: Goofer dust. [SAM and DEAN exchange a look.] Oh, you boys think you know somethin’ about somethin’ but not goofer dust? [He tosses a bag of the dust to DEAN.]
Dean: Well, we know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous.

Dean: You did it to save her?
Evan: She had cancer, they had stopped treatment, they were moving her into hospice. They kept saying, “Matter of days.” So, yeah, I made the deal. And I’d do it again. I’d have died for her on the spot.
Dean: Did you ever think about her in all this?
Evan: I did this for her.
Dean: You sure about that? I think you did it for yourself…so you wouldn’t have to live without her. But, guess what, she’s gonna have to live without you now. But what if she knew how much it cost? What if she knew it cost your soul? How do you think she’d feel?

Dean: So you know who I am.
Demon: I get the newsletter.

Dean: Shut your mouth, bitch.

Demon: You're lucky I have a soft spot for lost puppies and long faces.

[The Demon tries to convince Dean to sell his soul]
Dean: You think you could...throw in a set of steak knives?

[The Demon kisses Dean.]
Dean: What the hell was that for?
Demon: Sealing the deal.
Dean: You know, I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue.

Dean: Why did he do it?
Sam: He did it for you.
Dean: Exactly. How am I supposed to live with that?

Sam: Hey Dean, when you were trapping that demon, you weren't...I mean, it was all a trick, right? You never actually considered making that deal, right?
Dean: [doesn't answer]

Croatoan [2.9]

Dean: Well, I’m sure I had a good reason.
Sam: I sure hope so.
Dean: What does that mean? [SAM doesn’t answer.] Sam, I’m not gonna waste an innocent man. [No answer.] I wouldn’t!
Sam: I never said you would!
Dean: Fine.
Sam: Fine. Look, we don’t know what it is. But whatever it is, that guy in the chair’s a part of it. So, let’s find him and see what’s what.
Dean: Fine.
Sam: Fine.

Sam: Didn't you pay any attention in school?
Dean: Yeah. The shot heard ‘round the world, how bills become laws…
Sam: That's not school! That's Schoolhouse Rock!
Dean: ....Whatever.

Dean: Line’s dead. I’ll tell you one thing – if I was gonna massacre a town, that’d be my first step.

Dean: That was a little creepy, right? A little too Stepford?
Sam: Big time.

Sam: What do you think? Multiple demons? Mass possession?
Dean: If it is a possession, there could be more. God knows how many. It could be like a friggin’ Shriner Convention.
Sam: Great.
Dean: ‘Course, that’s one way to wipe out a town. You take it from the inside.
Sam: I don’t know, man. We didn’t see any of the demon smoke with Tanner, or any of the other usual signs.
Dean: Well, whatever. I mean, something turned him into a monster. And you know, if you would have taken out the other one, there’d be one less to worry about.
Sam: I’m sorry, all right? I hesitated, Dean, it was a kid.
Dean: No, it was an “it”. Not the best time for a bleeding heart, Sam.

Dean: I’m gonna go down there, see if I can find some help. My partner’ll stick around, keep you guys safe.
Dr. Lee: Safe from what?
Dean: We’ll get back to you on that.

Man: Say, why don’t you get out of the car and we’ll talk a little.
Dean: Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way, sorry.

(Dean and the Sergeant are both pointing guns at one another)

Sergeant: What's going on with everybody?
Dean: I don't know.
Sergeant: My neighbor... Mr. Rodgers, h-
Dean: You've got a neighbor named Mr. Rodgers?
Sergeant: Not anymore.

(Dean and the Sergeant are both in the Impala, and are staring and pointing handguns at one another, both suspecting that the other is infected with the virus)

Dean: Well this ought to be a relaxing drive.

Duane: Has anyone seen my mom and dad?
Dean: (has shot and killed both) Awkward.

Dean: For what? For him to Hulk out? Infect somebody else? No, thanks, can’t take that chance. [SAM stops him from leaving.] Look, man, I’m not happy about this, okay? But it’s a tough job and you know that.
Sam: It’s supposed to be tough, Dean! We’re supposed to struggle with this, that’s the whole point!
Dean: What does that buy us?
Sam: A clear conscience, for one.
Dean: It’s too late for that.
Sam: What the hell has happened to you?
Dean: What?
Sam: You might kill an innocent man, and you don’t even care! You don’t act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You’re acting like one of those things out there.
Dean: Mm-hmm. [He pushes SAM out of his way. He leaves the room, locking the door behind him.]

Dean: Doctor, check his wound again, would you? [She doesn’t move.] Doctor!
Sergeant: What does she need to examine it for? You saw what happened.
Dr. Lee: Did her blood actually enter your wound?
Sergeant: Come on, of course it did!
Dean: We don’t know that for sure!
Duane: We can’t take a chance!
Sergeant: You know what we have to do.
Dean: Nobody is shooting my brother
Duane: He’s not gonna be your brother much longer. You said it yourself.
Dean: Nobody’s shooting anybody.
Duane: You were gonna shoot me!
Dean: You will shut your pie hole, I still might!
Sam: Dean, they’re right. I’m infected. Just give me the gun and I’ll do it myself.
Dean: Forget it.
Sam: Dean, I’m not gonna become one of those things.
Dean: Sam, we’ve still got some time—
Sergeant: Time for what? Look, I understand he’s your brother, and I’m sorry. I am. [He takes out his gun.] But I’ve gotta take care of this.
Dean: I’m gonna say this one time. You make a move on him, you’ll be dead before you hit the ground, you understand me? Do I make myself clear?!
Sam: Dean!
Sergeant: Then what are we supposed to do?! [DEAN pauses a long time before tossing his car keys to the SERGEANT.]
Dean: Get the hell outta here, that’s what. Take my car. You’ve got the explosives, there’s an arsenal in there, you two go with them. You’ve got enough firepower to handle anything now.
Sergeant: What about you? [DEAN gives him a knowing look.]
Sam: Dean, no. No. Go with them. This is your only chance.
Dean: No, you’re not gonna get rid of me that easy.
Sergeant: He’s right, man. Come with us! [DEAN gives him another look.] Okay, here’s your funeral. [The two of them leave. DR. LEE goes to leave also.]

Dean: Actually, we're not really marshals.
Doctor: [looks wearily from Sam to Dean] Okay.

Dean: I wish we had a deck of cards or a foosball table or something.
Sam: Dean, don’t do this. Just get the hell out of here.
Dean: No way.
Sam: Give me my gun…and leave.
Dean: For the last time, Sam no.

Sam: This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Dean: I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa? (shudders)

Sam: Dean, I’m sick. It’s over for me. It doesn’t have to be for you.
Dean: No?
Sam: No, you can keep going.
Dean: Who says I want to?
Sam: What? [DEAN sits down and pauses before talking.]
Dean: I’m tired, Sam. I’m tired of this job, this life. This weight on my shoulders, man, I’m tired of it.
Sam: So, what? So, you’re just gonna give up? I mean, you’re just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know the stuff with Dad—
Dean: You’re wrong. It’s not about that. I mean, part of it is, sure, but—
Sam: What is it about?

Dean: I don’t know, man. I just think maybe we oughta…go to the Grand Canyon.
Sam: What?
Dean: Yeah, you know, all this driving back and forth, cross-country. You know I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon? Or we could go to T.J. Or Hollywood, see if we can bang Lindsay Lohan.

Sam: Dean, you're my brother, alright? So whatever you're carrying, let me help a little bit.

Dean: Right before dad died, he told me something. He told me something about you.
Sam: What? Dean, what did he tell you?
Dean: I can't tell you. I promised.

Hunted [2.10]

Dean: Before Dad died…he told me something. Something about you.
Sam: What? Dean, what did he tell you?
Dean: He said that he…he wanted me to watch out for you. Take care of you.
Sam: He told you that a million times.
Dean: No, this time was different. He said that I had to…save you.
Sam: Save me from what?
Dean: He just said that I had to save you. Nothing else mattered. And if I couldn’t, I’d…
Sam: You’d what, Dean?
Dean: I’d have to kill you. [SAM looks at him, confused.] He said that I might have to kill you, Sammy.
Sam: Kill me? [His eyes well up with tears.] What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Dean: I don’t know.
Sam: I mean, he must’ve had some kind of reason for saying it, right? Did he know the demon’s plans for me? Am I supposed to go dark-side or something?! What else did he say, Dean
Dean: Nothing. That’s it, I swear.
Sam: How could you not have told me this?!
Dean: Because he was dead and he begged me not to.
Sam: Who cares? Take some responsibility for yourself, Dean! You had no right to keep this from me!
Dean: You think I wanted this? Huh? I wish to God he’d never opened his mouth! And I wouldn’t have to walk around with this screaming in my head all day!
Sam: [after a long pause] We’ve just gotta figure out what’s going on then, what the hell all this means.
Dean: We do? I’ve been thinking about this, I think we should just lay low, you know? At least for a while. It’d be safer. And that way, I could make sure…
Sam: What? That I don’t turn evil? That I don’t turn into some kind of killer?
Dean: I never said that.
Sam: Jeez, if you’re not careful, you will have to waste me one day, Dean.
Dean: I never said that! Damn it, Sam, this whole thing is spinning out of control! You’re immune to some weirdo demon virus, and I don’t even know what the hell anymore. And you’re pissed at me, and I get it. That’s fine, I deserve it. But we lay low until we figure out our next move, okay?
Sam: Forget it.
Dean: Sam, please, man. [He grabs SAM’S shoulder.] Hey, please. Just give me some time. Give me some time to think, okay, I’m begging you here. Please…please. [SAM nods.]

Ash: And one other name, Scott Kerry.
Sam: What, you got an address?
Ash: Sort of. The Arbor Hills Cemetery in Lafayette, Indiana. Plot 486.

Ellen: Now, Dean, they say you can’t protect your loved ones forever. Well, I say screw that-- what else is family for?

Ava: (to Sam) Why can’t you just leave town, please? Before you blow up!

(Sam passes in front of the window on the building's edge)

Ava: Oh, my god!!
Shrink: What? [looks behind]
Ava: (to shrink) Uh, I just remembered, when I was a kid I swallowed, like, 8 things of pop rocks and then drank a whole can of coke. You don’t think that that counts as a suicide attempt, do you?

Sam: Are you okay?
Ava: Am I okay? I just helped you steal some dead guy's confidential file. I'm AWESOME!

Dean: (seeing Sam through motel window) Thank God you’re okay. (sees Ava with Sam) Oh, you’re better than okay. Sam, you sly dog!

Sam: These are .223 Caliber, subsonic rounds, the guy must've put a suppressor on the rifle.
Ava: Dude, who are you?
Sam: I ah...I just I...I just watch a lot of TJ Hooker.

Dean: Real funky town. You ditched me Sammy!

Gordon: What, you think this is revenge?
Dean: Well we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days. (snickers) Which was awesome. Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.

Dean: Well, you son of a bitch.
Gordon: (slaps him) That's my momma you're talking about.

Dean: (chuckles) This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.

Dean: Come on, man, I know Sam, okay, better than anyone. He’s got more of a conscience than I do. The guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn.

Dean: (off screen) [the chair he's sitting on breaks] I'M FREE!

Gordon: Do it. Do it! Show your brother the killer you really are, Sammy.

(Sam slugs him)

Sam: It’s Sam.

Sam: All right, so where to next, man?
Dean: One word, Amsterdam.
Sam: Dean!
Dean: Come on, man. I hear the coffee shops don’t even serve coffee

(cops pull up and arrest Gordon)

Sam: Anonymous tip.
Dean: You're a fine, upstanding citizen, Sam.

Dean: Well, Gordon should be reaching for the soap for the next few years at least.

Sam: Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean I ran all the way to California, and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me.
Dean: I can try.
Sam: Thanks for that.

Sam: So if you really want to watch my back, I guess you’re going to have to stick around.
Dean: Bitch.
Sam: Jerk.

Dean: What’s the point of saving the world if you can’t get a little nookie once in a while, huh?

Dean: Dude, you ever take off like that again...
Sam: What? You'd kill me?
Dean: That is so not funny.

Playthings [2.11]

Dean: Dude, this is sweet! I never get to work jobs like this.
Sam: Like what?
Dean: Old-school haunted houses. Secret passageways, sissy British accents. We might even get to run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, her.

Susan: Well, congratulations. You could be some of our final guests.
Dean: That sounds vaguely ominous.

Susan: Let me guess. You guys are here antiquing?
Dean: How'd you know?
Susan: Oh, you just look the type. So, uh, a king-size bed?
Sam: What?! No, uh no, we're... Two singles. We're just brothers.
Susan: Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.
Dean: What'd you mean that we look the type?

Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Dean: (uncomfortable chuckle) Right.

Dean: Hey, are those antique dolls? ‘Cause this one, this one here, he has a major doll collection back home. (grins at Sam) Don’t ya?
Sam: (reluctantly) Big time.
Dean: Big time. Ueah, you think he could come…well, we could come in and take a look?
Susan: I don’t know…
Dean: Please? Please, I mean he loves them. He’s not gonna tell you this, but he’s always dressing ‘em up in these little tiny outfits and I mean, you’d make his day. She would, huh?
Sam: (glaring at Dean) It’s true.

Dean: Wow! This is a lotta dolls. Er, they're nice, they're not super-creepy at all...

Sam: You're bossy.
Dean: What?
Sam: You're bossy... and short. (laughs)
Dean: Are you drunk?
Sam: Yeah! So? ...stupid.

Sam: I can still taste the Tequila.

Dean: (as Sam is leaning over the toilet) You know there's a really good hangover remedy, it's a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray.
Sam: (groaning) I hate you.
Dean: I know you do.

Dean: Hey, it turns out when Grandma Rose was a tyke, she had a Creole nanny who wore a hoodoo necklace.
Sam: So you think she taught Rose hoodoo?
Dean: Yes I do.
Sam: All right. (gets up from toilet bowl, sighing heavily) I think it's time that we talked to Rose then.
Dean: (groans in disgust) You can brush your teeth first.

Sam: This woman's had a stroke.
Dean: Yeah, but hoodoo's hands-on...
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: gotta mix herbs, and chant, and build an altar.
Sam: So it can't be Rose. Heck, maybe it's not even hoodoo.
Dean: You know, she could be faking.
Sam: Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick? (Dean nods) Dude, you are not gonna poke her with a stick!

Susan: What the hell happened out there?
Dean: You want the truth?
Susan: Of course.
Dean: Well at first we thought it was some kind of hoodoo curse. But that out there, was definitely a spirit.
Susan: You're insane.
Dean: That's been said.

Susan: I don't believe this.
Dean: Listen, sister, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean I guess it did, technically, but if a spirit can... forget it.

Dean: (to Sam) You get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of thing. See if she’s whacked anybody before.
Sam: Right.
Dean: Don’t go surfing porn, that’s not the kind of whacking I mean.

Dean: I just figured after Ava, there'd be more angst, more droopy music, and staring out the rainy windows (glare from Sam). Okay, I'll shut up now.
Sam: Look, I'm the one who told her to go back home. Now her fiancé's dead and some demon's taken her off to God-knows-where. We've been looking for a month now. So I'm not giving up on her, but I'm not going to let other people die, either. We've gotta save as many people as we can.
Dean: Wow, that attitude is just way too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now. Thank you.

Dean: Feels good getting back in the saddle, doesn't it?
Sam: Yeah. Yeah, it does. But it doesn't change what we talked about last night, Dean.
Dean: (evasive) We talked about a lotta things last night.
Sam: You know what I mean.
Dean: You were wasted.
Sam: But you weren't. And you promised.

Night Shifter [2.12]

Dean: Well, thanks, Frannie, I think that's all I need.
Frannie: Really? I mean, 'cause I've got more. You know, if you wanted to interview me some time, in private...?
Dean: Yeah... Yeah, I think that's a good idea. You're a true patriot, you really are. Why don't you write your number down there for me, that'd be good.

Dean: Frigging cops.
Sam: They're just doing their job.
Dean: No, they're doing our job. Only they don't know it, so they suck at it.

Ronald: The thing I let into the bank... wasn't Juan. I mean, it had his face, but it wasn't his face. Ah, every detail was perfect but too perfect, you know, like if a dollmaker made it, like I was talking to a big Juan doll.
Sam: A Juan doll?

Ronald: Part man, part machine. Like the Terminator but the kind that can change itself. Make itself look like other people.
Dean: Like from T2.
Ronald: Exactly. See, so not just a robot. More of a ‘'mandroid ‘'.
Sam: A mandroid ?

Dean: Man, that has got to be the kicker, straight up. You tell that poor son of a bitch that - - What did you say ? Remand the tapes he copied ? Classified evidence of an ongoing investigation ? That's messed up.
Sam: What, are you pissed at me or something ?
Dean: No, I just think it's creepy how good of a fed you are. Come on, we could at list thrown the guy a bone. He did some pretty good legwork here.
Sam: [laugh] Mandroid?
Dean: Except for the mandroid part. I liked him. He's not that different from you and me. People think we're crazy.
Sam: Yeah, except he's not a hunter Dean. He's just a guy who stumbled onto something real. If he went up against this, he'd get torn apart. Better to stay in the dark and stay alive.
Dean: Yeah, I guess.

Sam: Shapeshifter. Just like back at St. Louis. Same retinal reaction to video.
Dean: Eyes flare at the camera. I hate those freaking things.
Sam: You think I don't?
Dean: Well yeah, but one didn't turn into you and frame you for murder.

Dean: I like him [the security guard], he says 'okey-dokey'.
Sam: What if he's the shifter?
Dean: We follow him home, put a silver bullet in his chest.

Dean: Looks like Mr. Okey-dokey is... okey-dokey.

Ronald: This is not a robbery! Everybody on the floor, now!
Dean: (getting on the ground) Well, that makes a lot of sense.

Dean: And you said we souldn't bring guns.
Sam: I didn't know this was gonna happen, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, just let me do the talking. I don't think he likes you, Agent Johnson.

Ronald: I knew it. As soon as you two left. You ain't FBI. Who are you ? Who are you working for ? The Men in Black ? You working for the mandroid ?
Sam: We're not working for the mandroid.
Ronald: You shut up ! I ain't talking to you, I don't like you !
Sam: Fair enough.

Dean: I'm not just gonna walk in here naked!

Sherri: (about Dean) Who is that man?
Sam: He’s my brother.
Sherri: He is so brave! (Sam rolls eyes)

Ronald: It's so weird. Its robot skin is so lifelike.
Dean: Okay, let's get something straight. It's not a mandroid. It's a shape-shifter.
Ronald: Shape-shifter ?
Dean: Yeah. It's human. More or less. Has human drives. In this case, it's money. But it generates its own skin. Shape it to match someone else's features. You know. Tall or short, male - -
Ronald: So, it kills someone and takes their place ?
Dean: Kills or doesn't. I don't think it matters. [Taking a knive on the desk.]
Ronald: What are you doing ?
Dean: Nice. Remember the old werewolf stories ? Pretty much came from these guys. Silver is the only thing I've seen that hurts them. Come on, Ronald.

Lt. Robarts: (about the Feds taking over the situation) Let me guess. You’re lead dog now, but you would just love my full cooperation.
Hendrickson: I don’t give a rat’s ass what you do. You can go get a donut and bang your wife for all I care.

(Dean opens vault where hostages are being hidden)

Sherri: Oh my god! You saved us. You saved us!
Dean: Actually, I just found a few more. C'mon everybody, let's go, let's go. (pushes more hostages in)

Dean:Ron!!! Out of the light.

Hendrickson: I want Sam and you out here unarmed, or we come in. And, yes I know about Sam too -- Bonnie to your Clyde.
Dean: Yeah, well, that parts true, but how'd you even know we were here?
Hendrickson: Go screw yourself. That's how I knew.
Dean: My dad was a hero.
Hendrickson: Yeah right.

Dean: Are you nuts?
Ronald: That’s just it, I’m not nuts. I mean, I was so scared that I was losing my marbles, but this is real! I mean, I was right! Except for the mandroid thing, thank you.
Dean: Yeah, don’t mention it.

Dean: Is that community theater or are you naturally like this?

Dean: We are so screwed.

Houses of the Holy [2.13]

Sam: So, no disturbances lately?
Gloria: You mean am I stark raving cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?

Sam: And this angel…
Gloria: Spoke God’s word.
Sam: And the word was… to kill someone?

Dean: Man, you have got to try this because there really is magic in the magic fingers.
Sam: Dude. You're enjoying that way too much. It's kinda making me uncomfortable.

Sam: She's living in a locked ward, and she's totally at peace.
Dean: Oh yeah, you're right. Sounds completely sane.

Dean: You know what, there's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they ride on silver moonbeams, and they shoot rainbows out of their ass!
Sam: Wait. there's no such thing as unicorns?
Dean: That's cute.

Dean: I’m just saying, man, there’s some legends that you just file under “Bull Crap”.
Sam: And you’ve got angels on the “Bull Crap” list?
Dean: Yep.
Sam: Why?
Dean: Because I’ve never seen one.
Sam: So what?
Dean: So, I believe in what I can see.
Sam: Dean, you and I have seen things most people couldn’t even dream about.
Dean: Exactly, with our own eyes. That’s hard proof, okay? But in all this time, I have never seen anything that looks like an angel. And don’t you think that if they existed, that we would have crossed paths with them, or at least know someone that crossed paths with them? No. This is a demon or a spirit. They find people a few fries short of a Happy Meal and they trick them into killing these randoms.

Dean: Well, I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Years, or you might get fileted by hooker from God. HA!
Sam: I’m laughing on the inside.

Dean: Did you bring quarters? (Sam glances at the timer)
Sam: Dude, I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those sick lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies.
Dean: What are you talkin' about, I eat!

Father Reynolds: So, you're interested in joining parish?
Dean: Yeah, well you know, we just don't feel right unless we hit church every Sunday.
Father Reynolds: So where'd you say you lived before?
Sam: Uh...
Dean: (interrupting) Freedmont, Texas.
Father Reynolds: Really? That's a nice town. St. Theresa's parish. You must know the priest there.
Dean: Sure, yeah... no, it's Father... O'Malley.
Father Reynolds: I know a Father Shaughnessy.
Dean: Shaughnessy. Exactly...what did I say?

Dean: Look, I’ll admit, I’m a bit of a skeptic. But since when are you all Mr. 700 Club? Seriously, from the get-go, you’ve been willing to buy this angel crap, man. What's next, you're going to start praying everyday?
Sam: I do pray.
Dean: What?
Sam: I do pray everyday, I have for a long time.
Dean: Things you learn about a guy.

Sam: Dean, I saw an angel! (Dean offers him flask) I don’t want a drink.

Sam: It appeared before me and I just... this feeling washed over me. Like peace. Like grace.
Dean: Okay, ecstasy boy. Maybe we’ll get you some glow sticks and a nice Dr. Seuss hat.

Sam: Dean, the angel hasn’t been wrong yet! Someone’s gonna do something awful, and I can stop it!
Dean: You know, you’re supposed to be bad, too, Sam. Maybe I should just stop you right now.
Sam: You know what, Dean, I don’t understand! Why can’t you even consider the possibility?
Dean: What, that this is an angel?
Sam: Yes! Maybe we’re hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God’s will!
Dean: Okay, all right. You know what? I get it. You’ve got faith. Hey, good for you. I’m sure it makes things easier. I’ll tell you who else had faith like that –- Mom. She used to tell me when she’d tuck me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me.
Sam: You never told me that.
Dean: What’s to tell? She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her. There’s no higher power, there’s no God. There’s just chaos and violence and random, unpredictable evil that comes out of nowhere. It rips you to shreds. So, you want me to believe in this stuff? I’m gonna need to see some hard proof. You got any?

Dean: We’ll summon Gregory’s spirit.
Sam: What? Here, in the church?
Dean: Yeah. We just need a few odds and ends, and that séance ritual in Dad’s journal.
Sam: Ha! A séance, great. I hope Whoopi’s available.

Dean: If Father Gregory's spirit is around, the séance will bring him right to us. If it's him, we'll put him to rest.
Sam: What if it's an angel? It won't show, nothing will happen.
Dean: Exactly. It's one of the perks of the job, Sam, we don't have to operate on faith. We can know for sure. Don't you want to know for sure?

Sam: Dude, all right, I'll admit, we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake! I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?!
Dean: We'll just put it Spongebob-side down.

Father Reynolds: What are you doing? What is this?
Sam: Father, please, I can explain. Um... actually, maybe I can’t. Um, this is, uh, a séance.
Father Reynolds: A séance? Young man, you are in a house of God!
Sam: It’s based on early Christian rites if that helps any.

Father Reynolds: You are not an angel, Thomas. Men cannot be angels.

Father Reynolds: I prayed for God’s help, not this. What you’re doing is not God’s will. Thou shalt not kill. That’s the word of God.

Sam: I don’t know, Dean, I just, uh, I wanted to believe so badly. It’s so damned hard to do this, what we do. All alone, you know. And…there’s so much evil out in the world, Dean, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up…
Dean: Yeah, well, don’t worry about that, all right? I’m watching out for you.
Sam: Yeah, I know you are. But you’re just one person, Dean. And I needed to think that there was something else watching too, you know? Some higher power, some greater good. And that maybe I…
Dean: Maybe what?
Sam: Maybe I could be saved.

Sam: Dean, what did you see?
Dean: I don't know, maybe... God's will.

Born Under A Bad Sign [2.14]

Sam: I don’t think it’s my blood.
Dean: Whose is it?
Sam: I don’t know.
Dean: Sam, what the hell happened?
Sam: Dean…I don’t remember anything.

Sam: What’d you find out?
Dean: You checked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora. Of course, I think the scariest part about this whole thing is the fact that you’re a Bon Jovi fan.

(referring to an old, beat-up car)

Dean: Oh, please tell me you didn’t steal this.

Dean: You getting any goose bumps yet? God-this-looks-familiar, déjà vu vibes?

Dean: This guy? (to Sam) You were drinking malt liquor?
Clerk: Not after he whipped the bottle at my friggin’ head!
Dean: This guy?
Clerk: What, am I speaking Urdu?...

Clerk: Why don’t you ask him?
Dean: ‘Cause I’m asking you. Now, please, you’d be doing me a huge favor, okay?
Clerk: Oh, do you a favor? Well, that is what I live for.

Dean: You saw (Sam) smoking?
Clerk: Yeah, guy’s a chimney.

Dean: What’s going on with you, Sam? Hm? ‘Cause smoking, throwing bottles at people –- that sounds more like me than you.

Dean: You never told me this.
Sam: I didn’t want to scare you.
Dean: Well, bang up job on that.

Dean: No one can control you but you.
Sam: It sure doesn’t seem like that, Dean. It feels like no matter what I do, slowly but surely, I’m just becoming—
Dean: What?
Sam: Who I’m meant to be. I mean, you said it once yourself, Dean. I’ve gotta face up to who I am.
Dean: I didn’t mean this!
Sam: But it’s still true! You know that! Dad knew that, too! That’s why he told you if it ever came to this—
Dean: Shut up, Sam!
Sam: Dean, you promised him. You promised me.
Dean: No. Listen to me. We’re gonna figure this out, okay? I mean, there’s gotta be a way, right?
Sam: Yeah, there is. [He takes his gun from his bag and holds it out to DEAN.] I don’t wanna hurt anyone else. I don’t wanna hurt you.
Dean: You won’t. Whatever this is…you can fight it.
Sam: No. I can’t. Not forever. [He begins to tear up.] Here, you’ve gotta do it. [He puts the gun in DEAN’s hand, crying.]
Dean: You know, I’ve tried so hard to keep you safe.
Sam: I know. [DEAN pauses for a long time, looking at the gun.]
Dean: I can’t. [beat] I’d rather die. [He drops the gun on the floor.]
Sam: No. You’ll live. [He picks up a second gun and turns to DEAN. His entire demeanor changes, suddenly becoming evil.] You’ll live to regret this. [He knocks DEAN out with the gun and leaves the room.]

Manager: It’s past checkout and I’ve got a couple here who needs a room.
Dean: (looks at hooker and customer in hall) Yeah, I bet they do.

Dean: (talking on the phone) Hi, so sorry to bother you but, my son snuck out of the house last night and went to a Justin Timberlake concert.. What?.. uhhh yeah.. Justin's quite the triple threat.

Sam (to Jo): (sing- song) My daddy shot your daddy in the head.

Dean: Sam!
Sam: I begged you to stop me, Dean!
Dean: Put the knife down, damn it!
Sam: I told you, I can’t fight it! My head feels like it’s on fire, all right?! Dean, kill me, or I’m gonna kill her! Please! You’d be doing me a favor. Shoot me. Shoot me! [DEAN pauses a long time, ready to shoot.]
Dean: No, Sammy, come on. [He lowers the gun.]
Sam: What the hell is wrong with you, Dean? Are you that scared of being alone that you’d rather let Jo die?!

Dean: Why didn’t you kill me? You had a dozen chances.
Sam: No, that would have been too easy. Where’s the fun in that? See, this was a test. I wanted to see if I could push you far enough to waste Sam. Should’ve known you wouldn’t have the sack. Anyway, fun’s over now.

Demon (possessing Sam): One look at Sam's dewy, sensitive eyes, they'll let me right in the door.

Bobby: Where’s Dean?
Sam: Holed up somewhere with a girl and a twelve-pack.
Bobby: Yeah? Is she pretty?
Sam: You ask me, he’s in way over his head.

Bobby: Don't try and con a con man

Demon (Meg possessing Sam): Dean, back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it? Like a cockroach.
Dean: How ‘bout I smack that smartass right outta your mouth?
Demon (Meg possessing Sam): Oh, careful now. Wouldn’t wanna bruise this fine packaging.

Demon (Meg possessing Sam): Sam’s still my meat puppet. I’ll make him bite off his tongue.
Dean: No, you won’t be in him long enough.
Dean: See, whatever bitch-boy master plan you demons are cooking up –- [SAM screams in pain] –- you’re not getting Sam. You understand me? ‘Cause I’m gonna kill every one of you first.
Demon (Meg possessing Sam): You really think that’s what this is about? The master plan? I don’t give a rat’s ass about the master plan.

Demon (Meg possessing Sam): You know, when people wanna describe the worst possible thing, they say, “It’s like hell.” [He punches DEAN.] Well, there’s a reason for that. Hell is like –- [he punches DEAN again] -- well, it’s like hell. Even for demons. [Another punch.] It’s a prison made of bone and flesh and blood and fear. [Another punch.] And you sent me back there.
Dean: Meg.
Demon (Meg possessing Sam): No. Not anymore. Now, I’m Sam. [Another punch.] By the way –- [he grabs DEAN’s shoulder, digging into his skin] –- I saw your dad there. He says, “Howdy.” All that I had to hold onto was that I would climb out one day, and that I was gonna torture you, nice and slow. Like pulling the wings off an insect. But whatever I do to you, it’s nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You’re worthless. You couldn’t save your dad. And deep down…you know that you can’t save your brother. They’d have been better off without you.

Sam: (demon had just left Sam's body): Did I missed anything?
Dean: Sam...(punches him)

Sam: By the way, you really look like crap, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, right back at ya.

Bobby: Here, take these.
Sam: What are they?
Bobby: Charms. They'll fend off possession. That demon's still out there. This'll stop it from getting back up in ya.
Dean: That sounds vaguely dirty, but er, thanks.

Dean: You OK?
Sam: [doesn't answer]
Dean: Sam? That you in there?

Sam: No matter what I did, you wouldn't shoot.
Dean: It was the right move, Sam. It wasn't you.
Sam: Yeah, this time. What about next time?
Dean: Sam, when Dad told me I might have to kill you, it was only if I couldn't save you. Now, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to save you.

Dean: [starts to laugh]
Sam: What?
Dean: [continues to laugh] Nothing.
Sam: Dean! What!?
Dean: Dude, you full on had a girl up inside of you for like a week. [both laugh]
Dean: That's pretty naughty.

Tall Tales [2.15]

Sam: Dude you mind not eating those on my bed?
Dean: No, I don't mind. How’s the research going?
Sam: You know how it’s going? Slow. You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If I had my computer.
Dean: Mm.
Sam: Can you turn that down, please?
Dean: Yeah, absolutely. [He raises the volume louder.]
Sam: You know what? Maybe you should just go somewhere for a while, huh?
Dean: [turning the music off] Hey, I’d love to. That’s a great idea. Unfortunately, my car’s all screwed to hell.

Jen: So now she haunts the building, and anyone who sees her doesn’t live to tell the tale.
Curtis: Well, if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?

Dean: Woah, woah, woah, woah... hold on a minute!!
Sam: What?
Dean: C'mon dude, that's not how it happened!
Sam: No? So you never drank a purple nurple?
Dean: Yeah maybe that, but I don't say things like "fiesty little wildcat" and her name wasn't Starla.
Sam: Then what was it?
Dean: (pauses) I don't know... but she was a classy chick. She was a grad student. Anthropology and folklore. We were talking about ghost stories.

Starla: My God, you are attractive!
Dean: Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please? Lives are at stake.
Starla: [staring at Dean] I’m sorry, I just… I can’t even concentrate. It’s like staring…into the sun.

Sam: Dean. this is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah!

Bobby: You're bickering like an old married couple.
Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, Siamese twins.
Sam: [angry] It's conjoined twins.
Dean: See what I mean?

Trickster: Mr. Morality here, he brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat.

Sam: Dude... were you on my computer?
Sam: Oh really? 'Cause it's frozen now, on...

Sam:Dean! Would you just –- don’t touch my stuff anymore, okay?
Dean: Why don’t you control your OCD?

Dean: You’ve gotta give those Purple Nurples a shot!

Curtis: They did tests on me, and um…[he takes a shot] –- they, uh…they probed me. [DEAN and SAM try not to laugh.]
Dean: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah. They probed me. Again and again and again and –- [takes a shot] –- and again and again and again and then one more time.
Dean: [deadpan] Yikes.

Dean: How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch!
Curtis: They… they made me…slow dance!

Sam: I’m telling you, Dean. This was made by some kind of jet engine.
Dean: You mean some saucer-shaped jet engine?

Sam: Look, man, I know this all has to be so hard.
Frat Boy: Um, not so much...
Sam: But I want you to know…I’m here for you. You brave little soldier! I acknowledge your pain. C’mere… [hugs frat boy] You’re too precious for this world!
Sam: I never said that!
Dean: You're always saying pansy stuff like that.

Dean: These punishments, they’re almost poetic. Well, actually they’d be more like a limerick, but still…

Dean: Why would I take your computer?
Sam: Because no one else could have, Dean. We keep the door locked, we never let any maids in.
Dean: [smirking] Looks like you lost it, Poindexter.

Sam: Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you.
Dean: What are you talking about? I’m a joy to be around!
Sam: Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink? Your food in the fridge?
Dean: What’s wrong with my food?
Sam: It’s not food any more, Dean! It’s Darwinism!
Dean: [to himself] I like it.

Sam: How would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?
Dean: It'd be the last thing you ever did.

Sam: Did you take his computer?
Dean: It serves him right, but no.
Sam: Well, I didn’t lose it. ‘Cause I don’t lose things.
Dean: Oh, that’s right. Yeah, ‘cause he’s Mister Perfect.

Dean: This couldn’t get any weirder.
Sam: Yeah, maybe we should get some help. I’ll call Bobby. Maybe he’s run into something like this before.
Dean: Oh, I’m sure he has. It’s just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it’s simple.

Sam: Hey, give me back my money.
Dean: Oh, no. Consider it reparations for emotional trauma.
Sam: Yeah, very funny. Now give it back. [He tries to grab it, but DEAN swipes it away.]
Dean: No.
Sam: Dean, I have had it up to here with you.
Dean: Yeah, right back at ya.

[SAM tries again to grab the money, but DEAN keeps it out of reach. SAM keeps grabbing until they both fall onto the bed, wrestling for the money.]

Dean: Get off me!
Sam: Give it back!

Bobby: I’m surprised at you two. I really am. Sam, first off –- Dean did not steal your computer.
Sam: But I—
Bobby: Shh! And Dean, Sam did not touch your car.
Sam: Yeah!
Bobby: And if you two bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear.
Dean: What?
Bobby: What you’re dealing with.
Sam: Uh…
Dean: I’ve got nothing.
Sam: Me neither.
Bobby: You’ve got a Trickster on your hands.
Dean: [snapping his fingers] That’s what I thought.
Sam: What? No, you didn’t!

Dean: Look man, I gotta tell you, I dig your style, you know. I mean, I do. I mean… phew! And the slow dancing alien...
Trickster: One of my personal favorites.

Sam: Look, Dean, um, I just wanna say, that I'm, um...
Dean: Hey... me too.
Bobby: You guys are breaking my heart. Can we please just leave?!

Roadkill [2.16]

Dean: Did he look like he lost a fight with a lawnmower?
Molly: Yeah, how'd you know?
Dean: Lucky guess.

Dean: Follow the creepy brick road.

Dean: You know, just once I would like to round the corner and see a nice house.

Molly: I don't understand how a guy like this can turn into that monster.
Sam: Well, spirits like Greely are like wounded animals. Lost... in so much pain that they lash out.
Molly: Why? Why are they here?
Sam: There's some part of them that... that's keeping them here. Like their remains, or unfinished business.
Molly: Unfinished business?
Sam: Yeah. It could be revenge. It could be love, or hate. Whatever it is, they just hold on too tight. Can't let go. So they're trapped. Caught in the same loops. Replaying the same tragedies over and over.
Molly: You sound almost sorry for them.
Sam: Well, they weren't evil people, you know. A lot of them were good, just something happened to them. Something they couldn't control.
Dean: Sammy's always gettin' a little J. Love Hewitt when it comes to this. Me, I don't like 'em. And I'm sure as hell ain't makin' apologies for 'em.

Dean: It smells like old lady in here.
Dean: (after seeing the corpse) And that would explain why.

Sam: It's an old country custom, Dean, planting a tree as a grave marker.
Dean: [Pauses] You are like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
Sam: Yeah, I know.

Molly: Oh, thank God!
Dean: Call me Dean.

Sam: Dean, I don't think she knows she's dead.

Sam: It wasn't a coincidence that we found you, all right.
Molly: What are you talking about?
Dean: We weren't out here cruisin' for chicks when we ran into you, sister, we were already out here... hunting.
Molly: Hunting for what?
Dean: (pauses) Ghosts.
Sam: (sarcastically) Don't sugarcoat it for her.

Sam: Now you can walk in there, and we're not gonna stop you.
Dean: Yeah, but you are gonna freak him right out.. for life.

Dean: I guess she wasn't so bad. For a ghost. You think she's really going to a better place?
Sam: I hope so.
Dean: I guess we'll never know. Not until we take the plunge ourselves, huh?
Sam: It doesn't really matter, Dean. Hope's kind of the whole point.
Dean: Well all alright, Haley Joel, let's hit the road.

Heart [2.17]

Dean: And the lunar cycles?
Sam: Uh-huh. Month after month all the murders occur in the weeks leading up to the full moon.
Dean: Which is this week, right?
Sam: Hence the lawyer.
Dean: Awesome.
Sam: Dean, could you be a bigger geek about this?
Dean: I'm sorry man, but what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by night don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids.
Sam: Okay, Sparky. And you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland!

[The Brothers are interviewing Madison about her boss]
Madison: You get a few scotches in him and he starts hitting on anyone in a five mile radius. You know the type.
Sam: [glances at Dean] Yeah, I do.

[The Brothers are checking Madison's boyfriend's apartment]
Sam: Anything?
Dean: Nah, nothing but leftovers and a six-pack.
Sam: Check the freezer. Maybe there's some human hearts behind the Haagen Daz or something.

[Sam and Madison have just finished watching a few episodes of All My Children, which Sam seems to be enthralled with]
Sam: Wait, so, so Kendall married Ethan's father just to get back at him?
Madison: Yup and now she's set to inherit all the casinos that were supposed to go to Ethan.
Sam: What a bitch

Hollywood Babylon [2.18]

Dean: This map is totally worth the five bucks. Hey, we gotta check out Joey Ramone grave when we're done here.
Sam: You wanna dig him up too?
Dean: Bite your tongue, heathen.

Dean: What's a PA?
Sam: I think they're like slaves.

Sam: They're saying the set's haunted.
Dean: Like 'Poltergeist'?
Sam: It could be a poltergeist.
Dean: No, no, the movie 'Poltergeist'... You know nothing of your cultural heritage, do you?

Screenwriter: (after Dean saves his life) You're a hell of a P.A.

Tara: (after Dean leaves her trailer) You're a hell of a P.A.

Dean: (Imitating John McClane) Come to the coast. We'll have a few drinks. Have a few laughs.

Folsom Prison Blues [2.19]

Dean: (walking into the prison) Don't worry, Sam. I promise I won't trade you for smokes.

Sam: (asking about Mark Moody, the guy Dean consider to be the ghost) You're sure it's him?
Dean: Pretty sure.
Sam: Considering our circumstances I'm gonna need a little bit better than 'pretty sure'.
Dean: Really pretty sure.

Dean: I said I wish I had a baseball. You know, like Steve McQueen.
Lucas: Yeah? Well, I wish I had a bat so to bash your freaking head in.
Dean: Yeah. That's so much for a bonding solitary moment

Dean: (after winning a poker game and collecting the won cigarettes) It's like picking low hanging fruits.
Sam: You don't even smoke.
Dean: You're kidding me? It's the currency of the realm.

Dean: How do we get in?
Sam: I got a plan.
Dean: That's the Sammy I know. Come on, man, you are like Clint Eastwood from 'Escape from Alcatraz'.
Sam: The problem is even if we do find something, how are we gonna burn it? We don't have any accelerator.
Dean: It's good thing I'm like James Garner from 'The Great Escape'. (continues collecting the cigarettes)

Dean: (asking about Sam's distracting attention plan) Are you sure about this?
Sam: "Pretty sure."
Dean: "Considering the circumstances I'd like a little better than 'pretty sure'."
Sam: "Okay... really pretty sure"

Dean: (lining for noodles) I'd like mine al dente.

Dean: Save room for dessert, Tiny, hehe. Hey, I'd wanna ask you, 'cos I couldn't not notice you are two tones of fun. Just curious, is this like thyroid problem or is this some deep self-esteem issue? 'Cause you know, they're just donuts, they're not love.

Dean: (receiving letter from the lawyer) Would you look at that? I'm freaking velvety smooth.
Sam: You maybe wanna open it up after, you know, you're done slapping yourself on the back?

Dean: (after finding Impala outside the prison) Oh man, you're a sight for sore eyes.

Sam: I thought we were screwed before.
Dean: Yeah, yeah, I know, we gotta go deep this time.
Sam: Deep? Dean, we should go to Yemen!
Dean: I'm not sure I'm ready to go that deep.

What Is And Should Never Be [2.20]

Sam: Dean?
Dean: Sam.
Sam: What's going on?
Dean: I don't know. I don't know where I am.
Sam: What? What happened?
Dean: The Djinn, it.. it attacked me.
Sam: The Gin? You're drinking Gin?

Dean: We don't? Well, we should. You're my brother.
Sam: You're my brother.
Dean: Yeah!
Sam: You know, that's what you said when you snaked my ATM card, or when you bailed on my graduation, or when you hooked up with Rachel Nayv.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Uh, my prom date. On prom night.
Dean: [under his breath] Yeah, that does kinda sound like me.

Dean: I'm dating a nurse. How...respectable.

Professor: Well, I don't think, I've seen you in my class before.
Dean: Are you kiddn' me? I love your lectures. You... [thinks, grinning] ... you make learning fun.

[repeated line to Dean] Have you been drinking? (Sam, his mother, Professor, Carmen)

Dean: How did I end up with such a cool chick?
Carmen: I just got low standards.

Dean:[to his Dad's grave] So go hunt the Djinn. It could put you here, it could put you back. Your happiness for all these people's lives. No contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life, Sammy's not supposed to get married.. Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's [long pause] yeah.. [walks away]

Dean: [Sam hears someone downstairs and goes looking with a baseball bat. Dean puts him down]That was so easy, I'm embarrassed for you.

Dean: Bitch.
Sam: What are you calling me a bitch for?
Dean: You're supposed to say Jerk.
Sam: What?
Dean: ... never mind.

Sam: I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy.
Dean: It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never... ya know.
Sam: Yeah. Will, I'm glad we do

All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 1 [2.21]

Dean: Don't forget the extra onions this time!
Sam: Dude, I'm the one who's gonna have to ride in the car with your extra onions.
Dean: Hey, see if they've got any pie. Bring me some pie. I love me some pie.

Sam: I have visions. I see things before they happen.
Ava: Yeah. Me, too.
Andy: Yeah, and I can put thoughts into people's heads. Like, make them do stuff. But don't worry, I don't think it works on you guys. Oh, but get this -- I've been practicing. Training my brain, like meditation. So now, it's not just thoughts I can beam out, but images, too. Like, anything I want. Bam! People see it. This one guy I know -- total dick, right? I used it on him: gay porn. All hours of the day. [laughs] It was just should have seen the look on his face.

Andy: (reading Dean's receipt) D. Hasselhoff?
Sam: Yeah. It's Dean's signature. It's kind of hard to explain.

Azazel:(To sam)You are though, smart, and well-trained. Sam, you're my favourite!"

Dean: (just had a vision) That was about as fun as getting kicked in the jewels.

Jake: Salt is a weapon?
Sam: It's a brave new world.

Sam: I thought we were supposed to be...
Azazel: Soldiers? You are. But here's the thing. I don't need soldiers. I need a soldier. Only one.

Sam: What about my mom?
Azazel: That was bad luck
Sam: Bad luck?
Azazel: She walked in on us, wrong place wrong time
Sam: What does that mean?
Azazel: It wasn’t about her, it was about you, its always been about you

Dean: (to Sam as he's dying, seeing the wound) Look at me, Sam. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, alright? Sammy? Sam! Listen to me. We're going to patch you up, okay? You'll be as good as new. I'm gonna take care of you, okay? I'm going to take care of you; I've got you, because that's my job, right? Watching after my pain in the ass little brother. (realizes Sam is already dead) Sam? Sam? Sam?! Sammy?! No. No, no, no, no. Oh no come on. Oh God. (pulls Sam's body against his and yells) SAM!

All Hell Breaks Loose, Part 2 [2.22]

Bobby: I gotta admit, I could use your help. Something big is going down... End-of-the-world-big...
Dean:[shouting] Then just let it end.

Azazel: Howdy Jake.
Jake: I - I'm dreaming, aren't I.
Azazel: I gotta genius on my hands. Well congratulations Jake, you're it. Last man standing. The American Idol. I have to admit, you weren't the horse, I was bettin' on. But still, I gotta give it to you.
Jake: [scared] Go.. to hell.
Azazel: Been there. Done that.

Dean: [to Sammy, before going to Crossroads] You know, when we were little, you couldn't have been more than five, you'd just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom; Why do we always have to move around; Where'd Dad go.. when he'd take off for days at a time. I remember I begged you, quit askin' Sammy. Man, you don't wanna know. I just wanted you to be a kid. Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you, keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. This was always my responsibility, you know. It's like, I had one job. I had one job. And I screwed it up. I blew it. And for that I'm sorry. I guess, that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down, and now I guess I'm supposed to let you down too. How can I? Am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy... God.. What am I supposed to do? [screams] What am I supposed to do?

Dean: I have to look out for you! That's my Job!
Sam: What do you think my job is?
Dean: What?
Sam: You saved my life! over and Over! Man you sacrifice everything for me! Don't you think I do the same for you?

Dean: (Drops the spent Colt in the trunk) We got work to do.

Season 3

The Magnificent Seven [3.1]

Bobby: Where is your brother?
Sam: Polling the electorate.
Bobby: What?
Sam: Never mind.

Sam: Let me see your knife.
Dean: What for?
Sam: So I can gouge my eyes out. (laughs)
Dean: It was a beautiful, natural act, Sam.
Sam: That's a part of you I never wanted to see, Dean.

Dean: I got a year to live, Sam. I’d like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?
Sam: You’re unbelievable.
Dean: Very true.

Bobby: So, we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?
Dean: Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweatin' the cholesterol

Sam: Dean, what're you doing?
Dean: Comforting the bereaved. What're you doing?
Sam: Workin'. Dead body, possible demon attack, that kinda stuff.
Dean: (fake coughing) Sam, I'm sorry. It's just, I don't have much time left. And, uh... (more coughing) ...gotta make every second count.

Bobby: Did you boys find anything around here?
Sam: No sulfur, nothing.
Dean: Well, maybe something. (points to video camera) See? I’m working.

Bobby: You sure this is the right place?
Dean: No. But I spent all day canvasing this stupid town with this guy's stupid mug, and supposedly he drinks at this stupid bar...

Dean: What do you want?
Envy: We already have what we want.
Dean: What’s that?
Envy: We’re out, we’re free. Thanks to you, my kind are everywhere.

Envy: You really think you’re better than me. Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean? You’re practically a walking billboard of gluttony and lust.

Bobby: Do you have any idea who we’re up against?
Dean: No, who?
Bobby: The Seven Deadly Sins, live and in the flesh.
Dean: (laughs) What’s in the box? (silence) Brad Pitt... Se7en... no? (shuts up as Sam hits him with the Bible)

Isaac: A family that slays together...

Isaac: I've locked my keys in the car, turned my laundry pink... never brought on the end of the world, though.

Walter: Some people crochet, others golf. Me? I like to see people's insides on their outside.

Sam: Look, if we’re going down, we’re going down together.

Pride: Come on. You really think something like that is gonna fool someone like me? I mean me.
Sam: Let me guess. You're Pride.

Dean: I suppose you are Lust.
Lust: Baby, I’m whatever you want me to be.
Dean: Yeah, hell right. Just stay back.
Lust: Or what?
Dean: Good point.

Sam: It's suicide, Dean!
Dean: So what? I'm dead already!

Sam: Who the hell are you?
Ruby: I’m the girl that just saved your ass.

Dean: I'm just gonna ask it again... who was that masked chick? Actually, the more troubling question would be, "How come a girl can fight better than you?"
Sam: Three demons, Dean... at once.
Dean: Hey, whatever it takes to get you through the night, pal.

Dean: You look like hell warmed over.
Bobby: You try exorcising all night, see how you feel.
Sam: Any survivors, Bobby?
Bobby: Well, the pretty girl and the heavy guy, they’ll make it. A lifetime of therapy bills ahead, but still…

Sam: Hey Bobby, we can win this war, right? (silence)
Bobby: Catch you on the next one.

Sam: I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, and I don't care anymore.
Dean: That didn't last long.

Dean: I don’t know. It’s like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam: That’s hellfire, Dean.
Dean: Whatever.

Sam: You’re a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? ‘Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted and broken. And now you go and do the same thing… to me. What you did was selfish.
Dean: Yeah. You’re right. Was selfish. But I’m okay with that.
Sam: I’m not.
Dean: Tough. After everything I’ve done for this family, I think I’m entitled.

The Kids are Alright [3.2]

Sam: (trying to cover up his phone call) Oh, I was just ordering pizza.
Dean: Dude, you do realize that you’re in a restaurant?
Sam: Yeah! Oh, yeah, yeah... (lamely) I just felt like pizza, y’know?
Dean: Okay... Weirdy McWeirderton.

Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?
Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life!

Sam: How many dying wishes are you going to get?
Dean: As many as I can squeeze out.

Dean: Come on, smile, Sam. God knows I'm going to be smiling after 24 hours with Gumby girl. (chuckles) Gumby Girl... does that make me Pokey?

Ben: (about the moon-bounce) You know who else thinks they're awesome? Chicks! It's like hot-chick city out there!

Dean: (points to large kid with Ben's game) Is that Humphrey? The one that needs to lay off the burgers?

Ben: No, don't go over there. Only bitches send a grown-up.
Dean: You're not wrong.
Ben: And I'm not a bitch.

Dean: What? Someone had to teach him to kick a bully in the nads.

Ruby: (eating a French fry) Ummm, these are amazing. It's like deep fried crack. Try some.

Sam: Why are you following me?
Ruby: I'm interested in you.
Sam: Why?
Ruby: Because you're tall. I love a tall man!

Sam: That knife you had... you can kill demons with that thing?
Ruby: Sure comes in handy when you have to swoop in and save the damsel in distress.
Sam: Where you get it?
Ruby: Sky Mall.

Dean: We'll just drag the kids, lay them out, torch them in the front lawn. That'll play great with the neighbors.

Dean: Y’know how I never mentioned my job? This is my job.
Lisa: I so didn’t want to know that.

Lisa: Ben may not be your kid, but he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. That's a lot, if you ask me.
Dean: You know, just for the record, you got a great kid. I would have been proud to be his dad.

Sam: You're a demon!
Ruby: Don't be such a racist.

Sam: Why would you possibly want to help me?
Ruby: I have my reasons. Not all demons are the same, Sam. Not all of us want the same thing. Me? I wanna help you from time to time. That's all... If you let me, there's something in it for you.
Sam: What could you possibly...
Ruby: I could help you save your brother.

Bad Day at Black Rock [3.3]

Kubrick: Don't play with my Jesus.

Dean: (reading from trophy) 1995.
Sam: No way. That's my Division Championship soccer trophy! I can't believe he kept this.
Dean: Yeah, it's probably the closest you ever came to being a boy.

Dean: Oh, wow! It’s my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade.

Sam: Hi, uh, table for two please.
Waiter: Congratulations!!!!
Dean: Exciting, I know.

Dean: Wow. You suck.

Dean: Sam? You okay?
Sam: (from the floor) Yeah, I'm good!

Sam: (despondently) I lost my shoe.

(Dean leads Sam into a motel room)
Sam: What am I even supposed to do, Dean?
Dean: Nothing, nothing! Come here. I don't want you doing- anything! I want you to sit right here, and don't move! Okay? Don't turn on the light, don't turn off the light, don't even scratch your nose!
Sam: (mouthing the words) scratch my nose? (checks to see that Dean has left, then scratches his nose)

Kubrick: I used to think your friend Gordon sent me.
Sam: (tied to a chair) Gordon-!? Oh, come on!
Kubrick: Yeah, 'cause he asked me to track you down... and put a bullet in your brain.
Sam: Great. That sounds like him.

Dean: So you’re only out for yourself, huh? It’s all about number one?
Bela: Being a hunter is so much more noble? A bunch of obsessed, revenge driven sociopaths trying to save a world that can’t be saved?
Dean: Well, aren’t you a glass half-full?

Dean: If it's any consolation, I think you're a truly awful person. (Bela shoots at Dean) See ya!

Dean: I'm Batman.
Sam: (sarcastically) Yeah, you're Batman.

Dean: You're not gonna shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. And sure you're a thief, fine, but you're not gonna - (Bela shoots Sam)
Dean: What the Hell is wrong with you?!?!?!?!

Dean: Wow, I really don't feel bad about that. Sam?
Sam: Nope. Not even a little.

Dean: Oh, don't go away angry. Just go away.

Sin City [3.4]

Casey: Guess you should have paid more attention in Latin class.
Dean: I don't know what you're smiling about, you're not going anywhere.
Casey: And apparently neither are you.
Dean: Yeah, but I got somebody coming for me and uh... he did pay attention in class.
Casey: Oh, right - Sam. Everyone say's he's the brains of the outfit.
Dean: Everyone?

Sam: (on Dean not eating the hamburger in front of him) You do realize there is red meat within striking distance, right?

Dean: (referring to Richie) No way he gets a girl like that. I mean, look at her. You could fit that ass on a nickel.

Richie: Wow, this is, er, charming. You sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in a bedroom, or my motel room? I mean, not for nothing, but you know... I got oils.
Casey: But I have toys.
Richie: Yeah, no, toys trump oils.

Dean: (about the Colt) So if we wanna go check out these omens in Ohio, think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?
Bobby: Well, it won’t kill demons by then, but I can promise it’ll kill you.

Sam: No offense, but what are you doing here, Father?
Father Gil: Like it or not, you go where your flock is.
Casey: Plus the clergy drinks for free.

Dean: (trying an exorcism from memory) Spiritus emundi, undalara, persona tote… (trails off, lost)
Casey: Nice try, but I think you just ordered a pizza.

Bartender: What’s wrong with you? Think, I’m gonna give you a coworker’s address just so you can go over there and get your freaky peeping tom rocks off? (Sam hands him money) Corner of Piermont and Clinton. Have fun.

Dean: Azazel?
Casey: What, you think his friends just called him Yellow-Eyes? He had a name.

Sam: For some reason, you’re fighting on our side. Why is that, again?
Ruby: Go screw yourself, that’s why.

Dean: There’s got to be a demon or two in South Beach.
Sam: Sorry, Hef, maybe next time.

Dean: All you demons have such smart mouths.
Casey: It’s a gift.

Casey: You Winchester boys are famous. Not Lohan famous, but you know.

Casey: Why, Dean. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that’s lust in your eyes. Well, it would be one way to spend the time. But I don’t think you’d respect me in the morning.
Dean: That’s okay: I mean hey, I barely respect you now.

Ruby: (to Sam) On the bright side, I'll be there with you - that little fallen angel on your shoulder.

Dean: Think something's wrong with my brother?
Bobby: Nah. Demons lie. I'm sure Sam's okay.
Dean: (doubtfully) Yeah.

Casey: So you see? Is my kind really really all that different than yours?
Dean: Well, except that, uh, demons are evil.
Casey: And humans are such a lovable bunch. Dick Cheney.
Dean: He's one of yours?
Casey: Not yet. Let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs.

Casey: Hey, I didn't pull any triggers.
Dean: Yeah? You did something.
Casey: You want to know what I did -- what I really did? I had lunch.
Dean: Lunch?
Casey: Me and Trotter. He had a cheeseburger,i had a salad, and I just pointed out the money that could be made with a few businesses that cater to harmless vice. So trotter built it, and, man, did they come. Supposedly god-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling. I barely lifted a finger.
Dean: That's it?
Casey: You don't get it. All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they'll walk right into hell with big,fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, Dean. Weak. Our will's stronger. That's why we'll win.
Dean: And that's how it ends?
Casey: No. That's how it begins.

Casey: (to Dean) Just this year, you people racked up a body count that amazed even us. Now it's our turn. And this time, we're doing it right.

Casey: Why don't you relax?
Dean: Why don't you kiss my ass?
Casey: Why, Dean, you're a poet. I had no idea.

Dean: Oh, I forgot to mention Richie was a friend of mine, once I realized I could track the GPS in his mobile I wanted to give him a proper burial, better than lying in some skank's basement.

Dean: What are you laughing at, bitch? You're still trapped.
Casey: So are you... bitch.

Bobby: What do you want?
Ruby: Peace on earth, a new shirt...

Sam: You drink hurricanes?
Dean: I do now.

Bedtime Stories [3.5]

Kyle: The guy, he killed my brothers. How would you feel?
Sam: Can't imagine anything worse.

Sam: I've got a theory. Sort of.
Dean: Hit me.
Sam: Well, I'm thinking about fairy tales.
Dean: Oh, that’s... that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?

Dean: I thought all those things ended with everyone living happily ever after.
Sam: No, no, not the originals. See, the Grimm Brothers stuff was kind of like the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannibalism. Now, it got sanitized over the years and turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories.
Dean: So you think the murders are what, a re-enactment? That's a little crazy.
Sam: Crazy as what? Every day of our lives?
Dean: Touche.

Sam: I think it's Snow White.
Dean: Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Oh, porn version anyway.

Sam: Then we got the three brothers, arguing over how to build houses, attacked by the big, bad wolf.
Dean: Three little pigs.
Sam: Yup.
Dean: Actually, those guys were a little chubby.

Sam: (staring at frog on the road) Yeah, you’re right, that's completely normal.
Dean: All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there’s no way I'm kissing a damned frog.

Sam: (gesturing to pumpkin on porch) Hey, check that out.
Dean: Yeah? It's close to Halloween.
Sam: You remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses?
Dean: Dude! Could you be more gay? Don't answer that.

Dean: You find a way to stop Callie, all right.
Sam: What about you?
Dean: I'm gonna go stop the big bad wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said.

Dr. Garrison: You're not a cop, are you?
Sam: No.
Dr. Garrison: Then who are you?
Sam: Someone who knows a little bit about this kind of thing.

Dean: See you around, Doc.
Dr. Garrison: I sure hope not.

Dean: You know what he said. Some good advice.
Sam: Is that what you want me to do, Dean? Just let you go?

Crossroad Demon: What can I do for you, Sam?
Sam: You can beg for your life.
Crossroad Demon: We were having such a nice conversation. Then you had to go and ruin the mood.
Sam: If I were you, I’d drop the wisecracks and start acting scared.
Crossroad Demon: It’s not my style. That's not the original Colt. Where'd you get it? Ruby. Had to be. She is such a pain in my ass. She'll get what's coming to her. You can count on it.

Sam: Who's your boss? Who holds the contract?
Crossroad Demon: He's not as cuddly as me, I can tell you that.
Sam: Who is it?
Crossroad Demon: I can't tell you. I’m sorry, Sam, but there’s no way out of this one. Not this time.

Sam: Every deal can be broken.
Crossroad Demon: Not this one.

Crossroad Demon: Aren’t you tired of cleaning up Dean’s messes? Of dealing with that broken psyche of his? Aren’t you tired of being bossed around like a snot-nosed little brother? You’re stronger than Dean. You’re better than him.
Sam: Watch your mouth.
Crossroad Demon: Admit it. You’re here, going through the motions, but truth is, you’ll be a tiny bit relieved when he’s gone.
Sam: Shut up.
Crossroad Demon: No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. You can finally be free. (Sam shoots the Crossroads Demon)

Red Sky at Morning [3.6]

(Sam and Dean are in the car, Dean looks pissed)
Dean: So, I've been waiting since Maple Springs. You got something to tell me?
Sam: It's not your birthday..
Dean: No.
Sam: (thinks hard) ...Happy Purim?
(Dean gives Sam an angry look, Sam laughs)
Sam: Dude, I don't know! I have no idea what you're talking about.

Dean: There's a bullet missing from the Colt. You want to tell me how that happened? I know it wasn't me, so unless you were shooting at some incredibly evil cans.
Sam: Dean.
Dean: You went after her didn't you? The Crossroads Demon, after I told you not to.
Sam: Yeah, well.
Dean: You could have gotten yourself killed.
Sam:: I didn't.
Dean: And you shot her?
Sam: She was a smartass.

Dean: What a crazy old broad.
Sam: Why, because she believes in ghosts?
Dean: Ha ha, look at you. Sticking up for your girlfriend, you cougar hound.
Sam: Bite me.
Dean: Not if she bites you first.

Dean: So what happens? You see the ship and then a few hours later you pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye.
Sam: Basically.

Dean: What's the next step?
Sam: I gotta ID the boat.
Dean: That shouldn't be too hard. I mean, how many three-mast ships have wrecked off the coast?
Sam: I checked that too actually, over 150.
Dean: Wow!
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Crap.
Sam: Mm-hmm.

Dean: This is where we parked the car, right?
Sam: I thought so.
Dean: Where's my car?
Sam: Did you feed the meter?
Dean: Yes, I fed the meter. Sam, where's my car, did somebody stole my car?!
Sam: Hey, hey, calm down, Dean.
Dean: I'm calmed down. Somebody stole my c... :(starts to hyperventilate)
Sam: Wow, Dean. Hey-hey-hey-hey, take it easy, take it easy.
Bela: The 67' Impala, was that yours?
Sam: Bela...
Bela: I'm sorry, I had that car towed.
Dean: You what?
Bela: Well, it was in a tow-away zone.
Dean: No, it wasn't!
Bela: It was when I finished with it.

Sam: You shot me.
Bela: I barely grazed you.
(Dean rolls eyes)
Bela: Cute. But a bit of a drama queen, yeah?

Sam: How do you sleep at night?
Bela: On silk sheets, rolling naked in money.

Bela: (to Dean) Now, I'd get to that car if I were you, before they find that arsenal in the trunk. Ciao.

Dean: Can I shoot her?
Sam: Not in public.

Bela: I see you got your car back.
Dean: You really want to come near me with a loaded gun in my hands?
Bela: Now, now. Mind your blood pressure.

Peter: You're not cops. Not dressed like that, not in that crappy car.
Dean: Hey, no need to get nasty.

Bela: Don't you dare look down your nose at me. You're no better than I am.
Dean: We help people.
Bela: Come on! You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer.
(Dean looks over to Sam)
Bela: Whereas I on the other hand, I get paid to do a job, and I do it. So you tell me, which is healthier?
Sam: Bela, why don't you just leave? We've got work to do.
Bela: Yeah. You're 0 for 2. Bang up job so far.

Dean: Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this? What, your daddy not give you enough hugs or something?
Bela: I don't know. Your daddy give you enough?

Dean: You can't save everybody, Sam.
Sam: Yeah, right, so, so… what? You feel better now, or what?
Dean: No, not really.
Sam: Me neither.
Dean: You got to understand…
Sam: It’s just lately I feel like I can't save anybody.

Bela: You boys should learn to lock your doors. Anyone could just barge in.
Sam: Anyone just did.

Bela: So, how'd things go last night with Peter?
(Sam gives angry look)
Bela: That well, huh.
Dean: If you say "I told you so," I swear to God, I'll start swinging.

Bela: I think the three of us should have a heart-to-heart.
Dean: That's assuming you have a heart.

Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.

Bela: What is taking so long? Sam's already halfway there. With his date.
Dean: (upstaris) I am so not okay with this!
Bela: What are you, a woman? Come down already.
(Dean walks down steps, Bela gasps)
Dean: All right, get it out. I look ridiculous.
Bela: Not exactly the word I'd use.

Bela: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Dean: (after thinking hard) Don't objectify me.

Sam: Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my date?
Bela: As long as it takes.
Dean: Look. There's security all over this place, alright. This is an uncrashable party, without Gert's invitation, so.
Sam: We can crash anything, Dean.
Dean: Yeah I know, but this is easier and a lot more entertaining.

Sam: You know, there are limits to what I'll do, right?
Dean: Ah, he's playing hard-to-get. That's cute.

Bela: What do you suggest?
Dean: I’m thinking…
Bela: Don’t strain yourself.

(about Bela to the Guard)
Dean: You think she's a pain in the ass now, try living with her.

Bela: (to Dean) I didn't want you thinking... you're not very good at that. Oh, look at you, searching for a witty rejoinder.
Dean: Screw you.
Bela: Very Oscar Wilde.

Dean: (to Sam) You stink like sex.

Dean: (about Bela) You know what? I’m not going to kill her. I think slow torture’s the way to go.

Dean: I can’t believe she got another one over on us!
Sam: You.
Dean: What?
Sam: I mean, she got one over on you, not us.
Dean: Thank you, Sam! Very helpful.

Bela: I sold it. I had a buyer lined up as soon as I knew it existed.
Sam: So the whole reason for us goin' to the charity ball was...?
Bela: I needed a cover. You were convenient.
Sam: Look you sold it to a buyer, just go buy it back.
Bela: It's half way across the ocean, I can't get it back in time.
Dean: In time for what?
Sam: What's going on with you, Bela? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Bela: I saw the ship.
Dean: You what? Wow, you know... I.. I knew you were an immoral, thieving, con-artist bitch, but just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't get any lower...

Dean: So who was it, Bela? Hmm? Who'd you kill? Was it daddy? Your little sis, maybe?
Bela: It's none of your business.
Dean: No... right. Well, have a nice life, you know whatever's left of it. (grabs jacket) Sam, let's go.
Bela: You can't just leave me here.
Dean: Watch us.
Bela: Please. I need your help.
Dean: Our help? Well, now how could a couple of serial killers possibly help you?

Bela: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.

Bela: (after handing Dean and Sam money) I don't like being in anyone's debt.
Dean: So ponying up ten grand is easier for you then a simple “thank you”? You're so damaged.
Bela: Takes one to know one.

Sam: I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean. I want you to worry about you. I want you to give a crap that you're dying! So that's it? Nothing else to say for you?
Dean: I think maybe I'll play craps.

Fresh Blood [3.7]

Gordon: Sam Winchester’s the Antichrist.
Bela: Ooh. I’d heard something about that…
Gordon: It’s true.
Bela: …from the Easter Bunny. Who heard it from the Tooth Fairy. Are you off your meds?

Bela: You make me an offer and you'll find me highly cooperative.
Gordon: Hmm. How about you tell me where they are, or I shoot you?

Gordon: I can wrangle up three grand.
Bela: I don’t get out of bed for three grand.

Bela: Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were.
Dean: Excuse me?
Bela: Well, he had a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?
Dean: I don't know, maybe pick up the phone and tell us that a raging psychopath was dropping by?
Bela: I did fully intend to call. I just got a bit sidetracked.
Dean: He tried to kill us!
Bela: I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. After all, there are two of you and one of him.
Dean: There were two of them.

Dean: Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you.
Bela: You're not serious.
Dean: Listen to my voice, and tell me if I'm serious.

Sam: Vampire's still out there, Dean.
Dean: First things first.
Sam: Gordon.
Dean: About that, when we find him or if he finds us..
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Well I'm just saying he's not giving us a whole lot of options.
Sam: Yeah, I know... we gotta kill him.
Dean: Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like; "No we can't, he's a human, it's wrong."
Sam: No I'm done. I mean Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead... or until he is.

Gordon: Daughters? Try “fang whores.”

Dixon: You're a big part of why my people are nearly extinct, Gordon.
Gordon: Your "people" are going extinct because you're a bunch of mindless, bloodthirsty animals.

Dixon: Can you think of a worse hell?
Dean: Well, there's Hell.

Gordon: They turned me.
Kubrick: You know what this means.
Gordon: It means you have to kill me. But not yet.
Kubrick: What do you mean?
Gordon: You have to let me do one last thing first.
Kubrick: What?
Gordon: Kill Sam Winchester.
Kubrick: Gordon.
Gordon: It's the only... it is the one good thing to come out of this nightmare. I'm strong, I'm faster. I can finish him.

Dean: It's like a giant haystack and Gordon's a deadly needle.

Dean: It’s just another day at the office. It’s a massively dangerous day at the office.

Dean: Well, what can I say? I'm a badass.

Sam: You know what, man? I'm sick and tired of your old stupid kamikaze trick.
Dean: Whoa, whoa. Kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja.
Sam: That's not funny.
Dean: It's a little funny.
Sam: No, it's not.

Dean: What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with "Shut up, Sam"?

Sam: Drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punchline. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
Dean: I'm not!
Sam: You're lying. And you may as well drop it cause I can see right through you.
Dean: You got no idea what you're talking about.
Sam: Yeah, I do. You're scared Dean. You're scared because your year is running out and you're still going to hell, and you're freaked.
Dean: And how do you know that?
Sam: Because I know you!
Dean: Really?
Sam: Yeah, because I've been following you around my entire life! I mean, I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better that anyone else in the entire world. And this... is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And I mean, I can't blame you. It's just...
Dean: What?
Sam: It's just I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause.

Gordon: (to Sam) You got a lot of people fooled, but see, I know the truth. I know what it's like. We're the same now, you and me. I know how it is walking around with something evil inside you. It's just too bad you won't do the right thing and kill yourself. I'm gonna... as soon as I'm done with you. Two last good deeds. Killing you and killing myself.

Gordon: (to Sam, in the dark) You have no idea what I've faced to get here. I lost everything... my life. But it's worth it. I'm hunting the most dangerous thing I've ever hunted. You're not human, Sam.

Dean: (to Sam) You just charged a super-vamped-out Gordon with no weapon. That's a little reckless, don't you think?

Sam: What's with the auto shop?
(Dean extends tool to Sam to fix the Impala)
Sam: You don't mean, you want...
Dean: Yeah, I do. You fix it.
Sam: Dean, you barely let me drive this thing.
Dean: Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're going to need to know these things for the future. And besides, it's my job, right. Show my little brother the ropes.

A Very Supernatural Christmas [3.8]

Dean: What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.
Sam: Whose childhood are you talking about?
Dean: Oh, come on, Sam.
Sam: No, just... no.
Dean: All right, Grinch.

Young Sam: But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real.
Young Dean: That's 'cause he'd already checked under there. But, yeah, they're real. Almost everything's real.
Young Sam: Is Santa real?
Young Dean: No.

Dean: So this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?

(Dean to shop owner)

Dean: We were playing Jenga over at the Walsh's the other night, and he hasn't shut up about this Christmas wreath. I don't know. (looks over to Sam) You tell him.
Sam: Sure. (Sam pauses to look at shop owner) It was yummy.

Sam: Yeah. It's pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door, saying "Come kill us."
Dean: Great.

Santa's Elf: Welcome to Santa's Court. Can I escort your child to Santa?
Dean: Um, no. But actually, uh, my brother here, it's been a life long dream of his.

(Sam gives confused look)

Santa's Elf: I'm sorry, no kids over 12.
Sam: He's just kidding. We only came here to watch.

(Dean smirks and shakes his head)

Santa's Elf: Ewww.

(Sam chuckles)

Dean: What?
Sam: Nothing. It's just that, well you know, Mr. Gung-Ho Christmas, might have to blow away Santa.

Sam: He punishes the wicked.
Dean: By hauling their asses up the chimney.
Sam: For starters, yeah.

Dean: So was I right, was it the serial killing chimney-sweep?
Sam: Yep. It's uh, it's actually Dick Van Dyke.
Dean: Who?
Sam: Mary Poppins.
Dean: Who's that?
Sam: Oh, come on. Never mind.

Dean: So what the hell do you think we're dealing with?
Sam: Actually I have an idea.
Dean: Yeah?
Sam: It's a, it's gonna sound crazy.
Dean: What could you possibly say that's gonna sound crazy to me?
Sam: Um, Evil Santa.
Dean: Yeah, that's crazy.

(Sam and Dean wake tied to chairs)

Sam: Dean, you okay?
Dean: Yeah, I think so.
Sam: So I guess we're dealing with "Mr. and Mrs. God," nice to know.

Sam: Huh, when you sacrifice to Holnacar, guess what he gives you in return?
Dean: Lap dances, hopefully.

Dean: Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer.

Dean: Sam, why are you the boy that hates Christmas?

Dean: Christmas is Jesus' birthday.
Sam: No, Jesus' birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the Winter Solstice Festival that was co-opted by the church and renamed Christmas. But I mean the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit, that's all remnants of Pagan worship.
Dean: How do you know that? You gonna tell me next...the Easter Bunny's Jewish?

Young Dean: First thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He's a superhero.
Young Sam: He is?
Young Dean: Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He's fighting them right now.

Dean: She gave them to you for free? Do you sell them for free?
Shopkeeper: No way. It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for them.
Dean: That's the spirit.

Dean: (holding up Sam's presents) Look at this. Fuel for me and fuel for my baby!

Dean: You fudge'n touch me again, I'll fudge'n kill you!

Sam: I don't get it. You haven't talked about Christmas for years.
Dean: Well, yeah. But this is my last year.
Sam: I know. That's why I can't.
Dean: What do you mean?
Sam: I mean, I can't just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay, when I know next Christmas, you'll be dead. I just can't.

Sam: (getting off the phone with Bobby) Well, we're not dealing with the anti-Claus.
Dean: What'd Bobby say?
Sam: Uh, that we're morons.

Sam: Look, Dean. If you wanna have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don't involve me.
Dean: Oh, yeah. That'd be great. Me and myself making cranberry molds.

Young Sam: Is Dad a spy?
Young Dean: He's James Bond.

Malleus Maleficarum [3.9]

Dean: What the hell were you thinking?
Sam: What? What the hell was I thinking?
Dean: She's a demon, Sam. They want us dead, we want them dead!

Sam: Look, I know it's dangerous, that she is dangerous, but like it or not, she's useful.
Dean: No! We kill her before she kills us.
Sam: Kill her with what? The gun she fixed for us?
Dean: Whatever works.
Sam: Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives.

Ruby: Put a leash on your brother, Sam - if you wanna keep him.

Dean: I hate witches. They're all spewing their body liquids everywhere. It's creepy. Hell, it's downright unsanitary!

Dean: Why does a rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy.

Dean: Are you feeling okay?
Sam: Why are you always asking me that?
Dean: 'Cos you're taking advice from a demon for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people, you know, it used to eat you up inside.
Sam: Yeah, and what has that gotten?
Dean: Nothing, it's just what you're supposed to do, were supposed to drive the friggin car, and friggin argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap.
Sam: So your mad because I'm starting to agree with you?
Dean: No, not mad, I'm worried, because you're not acting yourself anymore.

Sam: Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I got to stay here in this crap hole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I got to change.
Dean: Change into what?
Sam: Into you. I got to be more like you.

(Dean dying)

Dean: You want to kill me. Get in line, bitch!

(after saving Dean's life)

Ruby: Stop... calling me bitch.

Dean: You saved my life.
Ruby: Don't mention it.
Dean: What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass.
Ruby: It's witchcraft, short bus. (she leaves)
Dean: (mutters) You're the short bus, short bus...

Sam: It's not so simple. We're not just hunting anymore. We're at war.

Dean: They killed the nut job, should we thank them or what?
Sam: They're working black magic, too, Dean. They need to be stopped.
Dean: Stopped like stopped? They're human, Sam.
Sam: They're murderers.
Dean: Burn, witch, burn.

Dean: Freakin' witches!

Tammi: What did you think it was? Make believe? Positive thinking? The Secret?
Dean: So let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to hell, and you became a...
Ruby: Yeah.

Ruby: You need to help me get him ready for life without you. To fight this war on his own.
Dean: Ruby? Why do you want us to win?
Ruby: Isn't it obvious? I'm not like them. I don't know why. I wish I was, but I'm not. I remember what it's like.
Dean: What what's like?
Ruby: Being human.

Ruby: That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is. Forgetting who you are.

Ruby: The answer is yes, by the way.
Dean: Sorry?
Ruby: Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell bound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah... yeah, you can count on it.

Dean: There's no way from saving me from the pit, is there?
Ruby: No.
Dean: So why'd you tell Sam you could help?
Ruby: To get him to talk to me. You Winchesters can be pretty bigoted.

Dream A Little Dream Of Me [3.10]

Dean: There you are. What are you doing?
Sam: Having a drink.
Dean: It's two in the afternoon. Drinking whiskey?
Sam: I drink whiskey all the time.
Dean: No, you don't.

Sam: The truth is, no one can save you.
Dean: What I've been telling you.
Sam: No, what I mean is no one can save you because you don't want to be saved.

Sam: What was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?
Dean: I don't know, unless he was taking an extremely lame vacation.

(as Dean impersonates a police detective)

Jeremy: I had this most vivid super intense dream, like a bad acid trip, you know...
Dean: Totally. (pause) I mean, no.

Dean: I take it we believe the legends.
Sam: When don't we?

Sam: You want to go dream walking inside Bobby's head?
Dean: Yeah, why not? Maybe we could help.
Sam: We have no idea what's crawling around in there.
Dean: How bad could it be?
Sam: Bad!
Dean: Dude... it's Bobby!

Sam: One problem though, we're fresh out of African Dream Root, so unless you know anyone who can score some...
Dean: Crap... Bela.
Sam: Bela? Crap.

Dean: (to sleeping Sam) Damn, wake up! (after Sam woke up from his dream of having sex with Bela) Dude, you were out... and making some serious happy noises. Who were you dreaming about?
Sam: What? No one. Nothing.
Dean: Come on, you can tell me. Angelina Jolie?
Sam: No!
Dean: Brad Pitt?
Sam: No. No!
Dean: Well, come on over here and help me translate some of this. I can barely read the handwriting.
Sam: Sure. (tries to stand up; looks back down, and realizes he's in a "compromising position") Just...hold on a sec.

Dean: Well, shall we dim the lights and sync up Wizard of Oz and Dark Side of the Moon?
Sam: Why?
Dean: What did you do in college?

Bobby: Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest friggin' thing.
Dean: Aw, I don't know. It wasn't that dumb.
Sam: Dean, you didn't.
Dean: I was thirsty.
Sam: That's great! Now he can come after either one of you.

Dean (Nightmare):What are the things you want?What are the things you dream?I mean your car-that's dad .. your favourite leather jacket-dad .. your music-dad.Do you even have an original thought?NO!!!All there is watch out for Sammy .. Look after your little brother, boy.You can still hear your dad voice in your head, can you?Clear as bell.
Dean (Real):Just shut up!
Dean (Nightmare): I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you; boss you around. But Sam, Sam he doted on, Sam he loved.
Dean (Real): I mean it, I'm getting angry.
Dean (Nightmare): Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument.You're own father didn't care what you're lived or died.Why should you?
Dean (Real) : Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let mom die; who wasn't there for Sam, I always was! He wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me and I don't deserve to go to hell!

Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: I've been doing some thinking. And well, the thing is, I don't want to die. I don't want to go to Hell.
Sam: Okay. We'll find a way to save you.
Dean: Okay, good.

Mystery Spot [3.11]

(Heat of The Moment is playing on the alarm as Sam sits up.)
Dean: Rise and shine, Sammy!
Sam: Dude, Asia?
Dean: Aw, come on, you love this song and you know it.
Sam: Yeah, and if I ever hear it again, I'm gonna kill myself.
(Dean points at Sam and headbangs. Sam laughs.)

Sam and Dean (in unison): Right, you're a mind reader. Cut it out, Sam. Sam! You think you're funny but you're being really, really childish. Sam Winchester wears make-up. Sam Winchester cries his way through sex. Sam Winchester keeps a ruler by the bed and every morning when he wakes up-
Dean: OK, enough!

Dean: Do these tacos taste funny to you?
(Sam wakes up to Asia)': Heat of the moment!

Sam: I had a weird dream.
Dean: Yeah? Clowns or midgets?

Dean: So you think you're trapped in a... what again?
Sam: Eat your breakfast.

Dean: Aww, Sammy, I get all tingly when you take control like that!

Sam: (looking at alarm playing Back in Time) It's Wednesday!
Dean: Yeah, which usually comes after Tuesday. Turn that thing off, would ya?
Sam: What, are you kidding? This isn't the most beautiful song you ever heard?
Dean: No! Geez, how many Tuesdays did you have?

Sam: Yesterday was Tuesday - but today is Tuesday, too!
Dean: Yeah. You're totally balanced.

Sam: My point is I’ve lived through every possible Tuesday. I’ve watched you die every possible way. I’ve ripped apart the Mystery Spot, burned it down, done everything I can think of to save your life and I can’t. No matter what I do, you die. And then I wake up. And it’s Tuesday again.

Trickster: Dean's your weakness. The bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you've just gotta let people go.

Trickster: Sam, there's a lesson here that I've been trying to drill into that freakish Cro-Magnon skull of yours.

Trickster: Whoever said Dean was the dysfunctional one has never seen you with a sharp object in your hands.

Dean: You mean we can't even go out for breakfast?
Sam: You'll thank me when it's Wednesday.
Dean: Whatever that means.

Dean: That's the car that hit me yesterday?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Did it look cool, like in the movies?
Sam: You peed yourself.
Dean: Course, I peed myself. Man gets hits by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder?

Dean: Dude, how many Tuesdays did you have?
Sam: Enough.

Trickster (to Sam): I swear it's like talking to a brick wall. (pause) OK, look, this all stopped being fun months ago. You're Travis Bickle in a skirt pal. I'm over it.

Jus In Bello [3.12]

Henriksen: You know what I'm trying to decide?
Dean: Oh I don't know, what - whether Cialis will help you with your little condition?

Henriksen: I got a lot to celebrate, after all. Seeing you two in chains...
Dean: You kinky son of a bitch, we don't swing that way!

Agent Henriksen: I shot the sheriff..
Dean: But you didn't shoot the deputy. (smirks)

Sam: You were possessed.
Henriksen: Possessed like... possessed?
Sam: That's what it feels like. Now you know.
Dean: I owe you the biggest "I told you so" ever.

Ruby: This spell is very specific. It calls for a person of virtue.
Dean: I got virtue.
Ruby: (smirks) Nice try! You're not a virgin.
Dean: Nobody's a virgin!

Dean: No... No way! You're kidding me, right? You've never had...? Never...? Not even once?
Nancy: What? It's a choice, okay!

Nancy: When this is all over, I am going to have so much sex...(glances at the officer next to her) but not with you.

Dean: Nobody kill any virgins!

Dean: It's like we got a contract on us. You think it's 'cause we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause we're so awesome.

Dean: (to Sam) I'm not going to let that demon kill some poor sweet innocent girl, who hasn't even been laid. If that's how you win wars, I don't want to win.

Dean: I have a plan. It's not a good one, but it's better than her's.
Sam: Ok, lets hear it.
Dean: We open the doors, we let 'em in, and we fight.

Ruby: Don't thank me. Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity in war, it turns out that your plan was the one with the body-count. Do you know how to fight a battle? You strike fast and you don't leave any survivors. No one can go running to tell the boss. So next time, we go with my plan.

Ghost Facers [3.13]

Ed: We know you've had it hard during the crippling writer's strike
Harry: Lazy fat cats!
Ed: Who needs writers when you've got guys like us?

Harry: Rats are like the rats of the world.

Ed: Listen here, Chiseled Chest!

Ed: Don't be Facer haters.

Dean: There's some salt in my duffel bag. Make a circle and get inside.
Ed: Inside your duffel bag?
Dean: In the salt, you idiot!!

Spruce: What's this guy Daggett's problem, anyway?
Sam: Loneliness.
Dean: What, he's never heard of a Real Doll?

Harry: You know what this means. You have to go gay for the dead intern.

Ed: We thought we were teaching you. All this time you were teaching us about heart and dedication and about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.

Dean: You know I kind of I think it was half awesome.
Maggie: Half awesome, th-that's full on good! Right?
Sam: Yeah, it's bizarre how y'all are able to-to uh...honor Corbett's memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death. Well done.
Dean: You guys are walking a tight rope.
Sam: Alright guys.
Ed: No that's really man. You see Corbett gave his life in search of the truth, and it's our job over here to share it with the world.
Sam: Right, uh, our experience, you know what you get when you show the world the truth?
Dean: A straight-jacket. Or a punch in the face. Sometimes both.
Harry: Oh come on guys don't be Facer-haters cause we happen to have gotten the footage of the century.
Ed: Oh yah.
Dean:...They got us there. Well, we'll see you guys around.
Spruce: Peaceout.

(Sam and Dean leave, Ed closes the door.)

Harry: Dicks.

Long-Distance Call [3.14]

Sam: (about demon) And it's following you because...?
Dean: I guess I'm big game, you know? My ass is too sweet to let out of sight.

Dean: Well, I just talked to an 83-year-old woman who has phone sex with her dead husband.
Sam: Ew.
Dean: Yeah. Gives a whole new meaning to the word necrophilia.

Sam: Dean, it's not Dad.
Dean: Then what is it?
Sam: A Crocotta.
Dean: Is that a sandwich?

Dean: And the only one who person can get me out of this thing is me.
Sam: And me.
Dean: "And me"?
Dean: Deep revelation, having a deep moment here. That's what you come back with? "And me"?
Sam: Do you want a poem?
Dean: Moment's gone. Unbelievable.

Time Is On My Side [3.15]

Sam: Even if you had the Colt, Dean, who're you gonna shoot? We've no idea who holds the ticket!
Dean: Well, shoot the hellhounds before they slash me up! Now, you comin' or not?

Dean: No you're not. I'm not gonna let you go wandering around the forest tracking some down some organ-stealing freak!

Doctor: Didn't you read my report?
Dean: Of course we did. Oh, it was riveting, a real page-turner. Just delightful.
Doctor: You done?
Dean: I think so.
Doctor: Please, go away.
Dean: Okay.
Sam: Sure.

Sam: I talked to Mr. Beetle's doctor. Turns out his incisions were sewn up with silk.
Dean: That's weird?
Sam: Yeah, nowadays it is, but silk used to be the suture of choice back in the early 19th-century. It was really problematic. Patients would get massive infections, the death rate was insane.
Dean: Good times.
Sam: Right. So, doctors, they had to do whatever they could to keep the infections from spreading. One way was maggots.
Dean: Dude, I'm eating.
Sam: It actually kind of worked because maggots, they eat the bad tissue and they leave good tissue. And get this: When they found our guy, his body cavity was stuffed full of maggots.
Dean: Dude, I'm eating!

Dean: (to his burger) No, baby, I can't stay mad at you.

Coroner: So you're cops and morons.
Dean: Excuse me? No, no. We're very smart!

Dean: I mean obviously I wanna hunt some zombies.

No Rest for the Wicked [3.16]

Ruby: Oh, so you're just too stupid to live, is that it? Then fine. You deserve hell. I wish I could be there, Dean. I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!
Dean: And I wish you'd shut your pie-hole, but we don't always get what we want.

Dean: We're going off of Bela's intel? When that bitch breaths, the air comes out crooked.

Dean: Sammy, all I'm saying is that you're my weak spot. You are! And I'm yours.
Sam: You don't mean that. We're--we're family.
Dean: I know. And those evil son of bitches know it, too.

Bobby: Where do you think you're going?
Dean: We got the knife.
Bobby: And you intend to use it without me - do I look like a ditchable prom-date to you?
Sam: No Bobby. Of course not.
Dean: This is about me... and Sam. Ok? This isn't your fight.
Bobby: The hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy!

Dean: If this is my last day on earth, I don't want it to be socially awkward.

Sam: I'm not gonna let you go to hell, Dean!
Dean: Yes, you are! Yes, you are! I'm sorry! I mean this is all my fault. I know that. But what you're doing is not gonna save me. It's only gonna kill you.
Sam: Then what am I supposed to do?
Dean: Keep fighting.

Lilith: (to Dean) I don't answer to Puppy Chow.

Season 4

Lazurus Rising [4.01]

Dean: Surprise.
Bobby: I, I don't...
Dean: Yeah, me neither. But here I am. (Suddenly, BOBBY attacks Dean.)Bobby! It's me!
Bobby: My ass!
Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed, and... you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me. I am not a shapeshifter!
Bobby: Then you're a Revenant!
Dean: All right. If I was either, could I do this – with a silver knife?
Bobby: Dean?
Dean: That's what I've been trying to tell you.
Bobby: It's... It's good to see you, boy.
Dean: Yeah, you too.
Bobby: But... how did you bust out?
Dean: I don't know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box...

Suddenly, BOBBY splashes water in DEAN'S face. DEAN pauses, spits.

Dean: I'm not a demon either, you know.
Bobby: Sorry. Can't be too careful.

Bobby: But... that don't make a lick of sense.
Dean: Yeah. Yeah, you're preachin' to the choir.
Bobby: Dean. Your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit,
Dean: I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.
Bobby: What do you remember?
Dean: Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then... lights out. Then I come to six feet under, that was it.

Hot girl: So where is it?
Dean: Where's what?
Hot girl: The pizza... that takes two guys to deliver?
Dean: I think we got the wrong room.

Dean: I know. I look fantastic, huh?
Hot girl: So are you two like... together?
Sam: What? No. No. He's my brother.
Hot girl: Uh... got it. I... I guess.

Dean: So tell me, what'd it cost?
Sam: The girl? I don't pay, Dean.

Sam: I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry.
Dean: It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you.
Bobby: Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question.
Dean: If he didn't pull me out, then what did?

Bobby: How you feelin', anyway?
Dean: I'm a little hungry.

Dean: (points to an iPod in his car) What in the hell is that?
Sam: That's an iPod jack.
Dean: I told you to take care of her, not to douche her up.

Dean: Who's Jesse?
Pamela: Well, it wasn't forever.
Dean: His loss.
Pamela: Might be your gain.
Dean: Dude, I am so in.
Sam: Yeah, she's gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it.
Pamela: You're invited too, grumpy.
Dean:You are NOT invited.

Pamela: Right. Take each other's hands. And I need to touch something our mystery monster touched.
Dean: Whoa. Well, he didn't touch me there.
Pamela: My mistake.

Dean: That's a hell of an art project you've got going there.
Bobby: Traps and talismans from every faith on the globe. How you doin?
Dean: Stakes, iron, silver, salt, knife. I mean, we're pretty much set to catch and kill anything I've ever heard of.
Bobby: This is still a bad idea.
Dean: Yeah, Bobby, I heard you the first ten times. What do you say we ring the dinner bell?

Female Demon: Dean, to hell and back. So you get to just stroll out of the Pit, huh? Tell me, what makes you so special?
Dean: I like to think it's my perky nipples.

Ruby: So. Million dollar question, are you going to tell Dean about what we're doing?
Sam: Yeah, I just gotta figure out the right way to say it. Look, I just need time, okay? That's all.
Ruby: Sam, he's going to find out, and if it's not from you he's going to be pissed.
Sam: He's going to be pissed anyway. I mean, he's so hardheaded about this psychic stuff he'll just try and stop me.
Ruby: Look. Maybe I'll just take a step back for a while.
Sam: Ruby, you...
Ruby: I mean, I'm not exactly in your brother's fanclub. But he is your brother, and I'm not going to come between you.
Sam: I don't know if what I'm doing is right. Hell, I don't even know if I trust you.
Ruby: Thanks.
Sam: But what I do know is that I'm saving people. And stopping demons. And that feels good. I want to keep going.

Dean: You sure you did the ritual right?

Bobby gives him a look Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?

Dean: Who are you?
Castiel: I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.

Castiel: We need to talk, Dean. Alone.

Castiel: Your friend's alive.
Dean: Who are you?
Castiel: Castiel.
Dean: Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?
Castiel: I'm an Angel of the Lord.
Dean: Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing.
Castiel: This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith. wings appear
Dean: Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes.
Castiel: I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that.
Dean: You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?

(CASTIEL nods.) Buddy, next time, lower the volume.

Castiel: That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong.
Dean: And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?
Castiel: This? This is... a vessel.
Dean: You're possessing some poor bastard?
Castiel: He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this.
Dean: Well, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?
Castiel: (frowning) I told you.
Dean: Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?
Castiel: Good things do happen, Dean.
Dean: Not in my experience.
Castiel: What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?
Dean: Why'd you do it?
Castiel: Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.

Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester [4.02]

Dean: Look, all i know is i was not groped by an angel.

Dean: Don't you think that if angels were real, That some hunter somewhere Would have seen one... at some point...ever?
Sam: Yeah. You just did, Dean.
Dean: I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me.
Sam: Dean,we have a theory.
Dean: Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it,please.

Bobby: You two chuckle heads want to keep arguing religion, or do you want to come take a look at this?

Bobby: Airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing.

Dean: I mean, I've saved some people, okay? I figured that made up for the stealing and ditching chicks But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy.
Sam: Apparently, you're a regular guy that's important to the man upstairs.
Dean: Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties... much less by... God.
Sam: Okay, well, too bad, Dean. Because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat.

Dean: You're gonna get me some pie.

Sam: Yes, Dean, I'll get the chips. Dude. When have I ever forgotten the pie? Exactly.

Dean: Dude?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Where's the pie?

Dean: EMF, Olivia was rocking the EMF meter.
Sam: Spirit activity.
Dean: Yeah... On steroids. I never seen a ghost do this to a person.

Bobby: I called some hunters nearby...
Dean: Good. We can use their help.
Bobby: ...except they ain't answering their phones either.
Sam: Somethings up, huh?
Bobby: You think?

Dean: Come out, come out, whoever you are.

Sam: Okay, Where are we going?
Bobby: Some place safe, you idiot.

Bobby: Do I look like I know?

Dean: See, this is why I can't get behind god.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Dean: If he doesn't exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason -- Just random, horrible, evil -- I get it, okay. I can roll with that. But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know, why doesn't he help?
Bobby: I ain't touching this one with at 10-Foot pole.

Sam: Okay,so,what do we do now?
Dean: Road trip. Grand canyon, Star Trek experience. Bunny ranch.

Bobby: It's a spell to send the witnesses back to rest. Should work...
Sam: Should. Great.
Bobby: ...if i translate it correctly. I think i got everything we need here at the house.
Dean: Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?
Bobby: So, you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden? Spell's got to be cast over an open fire.
Sam: The fireplace in the library.
Bobby: Bingo.
Dean: That's just not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know?

Dean: Ronald. Hey, come on, man. I thought we were pals.
Ronald: That's when I was breathing. Now I'm gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Well... come on, I'm not a cheeseburger.

Meg: You saw how I suffered for months. I thought you must have learned something. I thought I died for something. But what you're doing with that demon, Ruby? How many innocent bodies has Ruby burned through for kicks? How many girls just like me? And you don't send her back to Hell? You're a monster!

Sam: You built a panic room??
Bobby: I had a weekend off.
Dean: Bobby, you're awesome!

Meg: Dean Winchester, still bossy. You don't recognize me? This is what I looked like before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut.
Dean: Meg.
Meg: Hi! It's okay, I'm not a demon.
Dean:You're the girl that demon possessed.
Meg: Meg Masters. Nice to finally talk to you when I'm not .. you know ... choking in my own blood. It's okay. Seriously I'm just a college girl... sorry, was. I was walking home one night when I got chump by the smoke. Next thing you know I was prisoner in here. You know I was a wake? I had to watch while she murdered people.
Dean: Sorry.
Meg: Oh yeah, so sorry you had me. You threw me from a building.
Dean: We thought...
Meg: No, you didn't think. I kept waiting, preying, I was trapped in there, screaming at you just to help me, please. You were supposed to help people, Dean, but why didn't you help me.
Dean: I'm sorry.
Meg: Stop saying you're sorry.

Castiel: Excellent job with the witnesses.
Dean: You were hip to all this?
Castiel: I was, uh, made aware.
Dean: Well, thanks a lot for the angelic assistance. You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest.
Castiel: But you didn't.
Dean: I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos -- You know, Michael Landon. Not dicks.
Castiel: Read the bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier.
Dean: Yeah? Then, why didn't you fight?
Castiel: I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns.
Dean: Concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here! And, by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God?
Castiel: There's a God.
Dean: I'm not convinced. 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?
Castiel: The lord works...
Dean: If you say "mysterious ways," so help me, I will kick your ass. So, Bobby was right... About the witnesses... this is some kind of a... sign of the apocalypse.
Castiel: That's why we're here. Big things afoot.
Dean: Do I want to know what kind of things?
Castiel: I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know. The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.
Dean: Okay. I'm guessing that's not a show at Seaworld.
Castiel: Those seals are being broken by Lilith.
Dean: She did the spell. She rose the witnesses.
Castiel: Mm-Hmm. And not just here. 20 other hunters are dead.
Dean: Of course. She picked victims that the hunters couldn't save So that they would barrel right after us.
Castiel: Lilith has a certain sense of humor.
Dean: Well, we put those spirits back to rest.
Castiel: It doesn't matter. The seal was broken.
Dean: Why break the seal anyway?
Castiel: You think of the seals as locks on a door.
Dean: ... okay. Last one opens and...
Castiel: Lucifer walks free.
Dean: Lucifer? But I thought Lucifer was just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing.
Castiel: Three days ago, you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we're here walking among you now for the first time in 2,000 years?
Dean: To stop Lucifer.
Castiel: That's why we've arrived.
Dean: Well... bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. That's nice.
Castiel: We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in.

In The Beginning [4.03]

Castiel: Hello Dean. What were you dreaming about?
Dean: What do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep? What do you want?

Dean: Know where I can get any reception? (referring to his cell phone)
Young John: The U.S.S. Enterprise?

Dean: Thanks...nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up right?
Young John: Sonny and Cher broke up?

Dean: What is this?
Castiel: What does it look like?
Dean: Is it real?
Castiel: Very.
Dean: Okay, so what? Angels got their hands on some Deloreans? How did I get here?
Castiel: Time is fluid Dean, it's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion.
Dean: Well bend it back or tell me what the hell I'm doing here!
Castiel: I told you, you have to stop it.
Dean: Stop what? What, is there something nasty after my Dad?

Dean turns as a car horn sounds. When he turns back CASTIEL is gone.

Dean: Oh, come on! What are you allergic to straight answers you son of a bitch?!

Dean: Sammy wherever you are, Mom is a babe. I'm going to Hell. Again.

Samuel Campbell: She wants to hunt, she doesn't want to hunt. Is this some female "time of the month" thing?

Dean: Samuel and Deanna?

Dean: What about the rest of the town? Well, did you find anything on the web? ...of information that you have assembled.
Deanna: Electrical storms maybe, the weather service graphs should be here on Friday.
Dean: By mail?
Samuel: No, we hired a jet liner to fly 'em to us overnight.

Samuel: Father, I see you beat me here.
Dean: The Lord is funny that way. Beth Whitshire, this is my associate, our senior- senior priest, Father Chaney.

Dean: So what? God's my copilot is that it?

Castiel just looks at him, and Dean glances over again.

Dean: Well, you're a regular chatty Kathy. Tell me something, Sam would have wanted in on this, why not bring him back?
Castiel: You had to do this alone, Dean.
Dean: And you don't care that he's tearing up the future looking for me right now?
Castiel: Sam's not looking for you.
Dean: Alright, if I do this, then the family curse breaks right? Mom and Dad live happily ever after, and- and, Sam and I grow up playing little league and chasing tail?
Castiel: You realize, if you do alter the future, your father, you, Sam, you'll never become hunters. And all those people you saved, they'll die.
Dean: I realize.
Castiel: And you don't care?
Dean: Oh, I care. I care a lot, but these are my parents, I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't, no, not if I can stop it.

Yellow eyed demon: Oh, get your mind out of the gutter no ones breeding with me. Though, Mary? Man, I'd like to make an exception, so far, she's my favorite.

Young Mary: You know what the worst thing is I can think of, the very worst thing? It's for my children raised into this like I was.
Dean: Promise me something, no matter how weird it sounds. On November 2nd, 1983, don't get out of bed. No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won't get out of bed.

Dean: I couldn't stop any of it, she still made the deal, she still died in the nursery didn't she?
Castiel: Don't be too hard on yourself, you couldn't have stopped it.
Dean: What?
Castiel: Destiny can't be changed Dean, all roads lead to the same destination.

Castiel: Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean. And we don't know where it leads. So stop it... or we will.

Metamorphosis [4.04]

Sam: Where's Lilith?
Demon: Kiss my ass.
Sam: I'd watch myself if I were you.
Demon: Why? Huh? Because you're Sam Winchester, Mr. Big Hero? And yet here you are, slutting around with some demon. Real hero.
Sam: Shut your mouth.
Demon: Tell me about those months without your brother. About all the things you and this demon bitch do in the dark.

Dean: So... Anything you wanna tell me, Sam?
Sam: Dean, hold on, okay? Just let me...
Dean: You gonna say, "let me explain"? You're gonna explain this? How about this? Why don't you start with who she is, and what the hell is she doing here?

Sam: Ruby! Stop it!
Dean: Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?

Sam: Dean, what are you doing? What, are you, are you leaving?
Dean: You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons.
Sam: Hold on. Dean, come on, man. (Dean punches Sam in the face) You satisfied? (Dean hits him again) I guess not.
Dean: Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?
Sam: I'm just exorcising demons.
Dean: With your mind! What else can you do?
Sam: I can send them back to hell. It only works with demons, and that's it.
Dean: What else can you do?!
Sam: I told you!
Dean: And I have every reason in the world to believe that.
Sam: Look, I should have said something. I'm sorry, Dean. I am. But try to see the other side here.
Dean: The other side?
Sam: I'm pulling demons out of innocent people.
Dean: Use the knife!
Sam: The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year.
Dean: That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends.
Sam: I'm not gonna let it go too far.
Dean: It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't you know... I would wanna hunt you. And so would other hunters.
Sam: You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you. And what I'm doing... It works.
Dean: Well, tell me. If it's so terrific... then why'd you lie about it to me? Why did an angel tell me to stop you?
Sam: What?
Dean: Cas' said that if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me everything is all good?

Sam: I should have told you. I'm sorry.
Dean: You've been saying that a lot lately, Sam. But whatever. You don't want to tell me, you don't have to. It's fine.

Dean: Are you sure that's him?
Sam: Only Jack Montgomery in town.
Dean: And we're looking for...
Sam: Travis said to keep an eye out for anything weird.
Dean: Weird?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Alright, well, yeah, I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top. But this guy? I mean, come on, this guy's boring.
Sam: I don't know, Dean. Travis seemed pretty sure. (Jack Montgomery starts to eat raw meat) I'd say that qualifies as weird.

Travis: You still a.. oh, what was it... a mathlete?
Sam: No.
Dean: Yep, sure is.

Dean: Well, he had a hell of a case of the munchies, topped off with a burger he forgot to cook.

Travis: Boys, we got a rougarou on our hands.
Dean: A rougarou? Is that made up? That sounds made up.

Travis: The last step comes with eating long pig.
Dean: (doesn't get it) Long pig?
Sam: He means human, human flesh.
Dean: My word of the day!

Dean: Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress with his KY.

Sam: You want to know why I've been lying to you, Dean? Because of crap like this.
Dean: Like what?
Sam: The way you talk to me, the way you look at me like I'm a freak!
Dean: I do not.
Sam: You know, or even worse, like I'm an idiot! Like I don't know the difference between right and wrong! What?
Dean: Do you know the difference, Sam? I mean, you've been kind of strolling a dark road lately.
Sam: You have no idea what I'm going through. None.
Dean: Well then enlighten me!
Sam: I've got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this - this curse... and make something good out of it. Because I have to.

Sam: (to Jack Montgomery) Listen to me, you've got this dark pit inside you. I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster...It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It's your choice.

Dean: You did the right thing, you know. That guy was a monster, there was no going back. Sam, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately.
Sam: Don't worry about it, Dean.
Dean: It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me.
Sam: Look, if it's all the same... I'd really rather not talk about it.
Dean: Wait. What? You don't want to talk? You?
Sam: There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand.
Dean: Why don't you try?
Sam: I can't. Because this thing, this blood, it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with.
Dean: Not alone.
Sam: Anyway, it doesn't matter. These powers... it's playing with fire. I'm done with them. I'm done with everything.
Dean: Really? Well, that's a relief. Thank you.
Sam: Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you. Or for the angels or for anybody. This is my choice.

Monster Movie [4.05]

Dean: It's like the good old days! An honest-to-goodness monster hunt! It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black-and-white case.

Dean: I've been re-hymenated!
Sam: What?

Dean: See, I'm a maverick, ma'am. [Sam rolls his eyes] Rebel with a badge. One thing I don't play by- the rules.
Sam: Okay, let's go, maverick.

Dean: I don't think we're staying on the case.
Jamie: What, too weird for you?
Dean: Not weird enough.

Sam: [tries to tear out Ed's ear] It's supposed to come off.
Ed Brewer: No, it's not!

Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh, pizza delivery?
Dracula: Ah, you have brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service, and your life will be spared.
Pizza Delivery Guy: Uh-huh. That'll be $15.50.
Dracula: Tell me…
Pizza Delivery Guy: Yeah?
Dracula: Is there… garlic on this pizza?
Pizza Delivery Guy: I don't know. Did you order garlic?
Dracula: No!
Pizza Delivery Guy: Then no. Look, mister, I've got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go?
Dracula: Of course. Yes. But I have a coupon.

Dean: We still got to see the new "raiders" movie.
Sam: Saw it.
Dean: Without me?
Sam: You were in hell.
Dean: That's no excuse!

Dean: If I was going to make a movie come to life, I wouldn't choose "Abbott & Costello Meet the Monsters."
Sam: No, I know what movie you'd pick.
Dean: No you don't.
Sam: Yes, I do.
[Dean looks at him skeptically]
Sam: Porky's 2.
Dean: Lucky guess.

Yellow Fever [4.06]

(Dean's running down the street in sheer panic)
Dean: Run! It'll kill you!
(camera pans down to a adorable Yorkie wearing a ribbon)

(Sam and Dean walk to hotel)
Dean: Hang on.
Sam: What?
Dean: I don't like the look of those teenagers over there. Let's walk this way. (Walks in opposite direction)

Sam: Dude, you're going 20.
Dean: And?
Sam: That's the speed limit.
Dean: What? Safety's a crime now?

Sam: Dude, where are you going? That was our hotel.
Dean: Sam, I'm not gonna make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal. Did I just say that? That was kind of weird.

Dean: But why me? Why not you? I mean you got hit with the spleen juice.
Sam: Yeah, uh, you see Bobby and I have a theory about that too. Turns out all three victims shared a certain…personality type. Fred was a bully, the other two victims, one was a vice principal the other was a bouncer.
Dean: Okay?
Sam: Basically they were all dicks.
Dean: So you're saying I'm a dick?
Sam: No, no, no it's not just that. All three victims used fear as a weapon. And now this disease is just returning the favor.
Dean: I don't scare people.
Sam: Dean, all we do is scare people.
Dean: Okay, well, then you're a dick too.
Sam: Apparently I'm not.
Dean: Whatever.

Sam: Hey, what are you doing waiting out here, anyway?
Dean: (Looks up at the hotel) Our room's on the fourth floor. It's... it’s high.
Sam: I'll see if I can move us down to the first.
Dean: Thanks.

Sam hands Dean a handgun
Dean: Oh, I'm not carrying that. (Sam gives him a look) It could go off. (grabs a flashlight) I'll man the flashlight.
Sam: You do that.

Sam: 1...2...3! (Opens locker to reveal a meowing kitten)
Dean: (Lets out long, girly scream) That was scary!

(Sam and Dean hand fake FBI IDs to John)
Dean: (looking nervous) Those are real. Obviously. (Sam clears his throat) I mean, why would we pretend to be FBI agents? That's just nutty, huh?! (Sam nudges him)

Dean: What are we doing?
Sam: We're hunting a ghost.
Dean: A ghost, exactly. Who does that?
Sam: Us.
Dean: Us, right. And that Sam is exactly why our lives suck. C’mon, we hunt monsters! What the hell? I mean, normal people, they see a monster and they run. But not us, no no no, we search out things that want to kill us! Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We ... are insane! You know, and then there’s the crappy diner food and the skivvy motel rooms and the truck stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Seriously! Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day every single day? I don’t think so! I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and I sing along and I’m annoying and I know that. And you…you’re gassy! You eat half a burrito and you get toxic! You know what, you can forget it.
Sam: Dean, where're you going?
Dean: Stay away from me Sam, because I am done with it. I am done with the monsters and the hell hounds and the damn ghost sickness and the whole apocalypse. I’m out, I’m done, I quit.

Sam: You can read Japanese?
Bobby: (Answers in Japanese)
Sam: Guess so, show-off.

Sam: Yeah. How you feeling, by the way?
Dean: Fine.
Bobby: You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary.
Dean: I'm fine. What? You want to go hunt? I'll hunt...I'll kill anything.
Sam: Awwww.
Bobby: He's adorable.

It's The Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester [4.07]

Sam: What about you? Find anything on the victim?
Dean: This Luke Wallace - he was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy. I can't find any reason that anyone would want this guy dead.

Sam: Really? After that guy choked down all those razor blades?
Dean: It's Halloween, man.
Sam: Yeah. For us, every day is Halloween.
Dean: Don't be a downer. Anything interesting?

Sam: Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own.
Dean: Raising what, exactly?
Sam: Dark, evil crap and lots of it. They follow him around like a friggin' Pied Piper.
Dean: So we're talking ghosts.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Zombies.
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Dean: Leprechauns?
Sam: Dean...
Dean: Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.

Dean: Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would. Mmm.

Dean: Well, are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just gonna sit there fingering your bone?

Sam: Who are you?!
Dean: Sam! Sam, wait! It’s Castiel. The angel. Him, I don’t know.
Castiel: Hello Sam.
Sam: Oh my God- er- uh- I didn’t mean to- sorry. It’s an honor, really, I- I’ve heard a lot about you.
Castiel: And I, you. Sam Winchester...The boy with the demon blood. Glad to see you’ve ceased your extracurricular activities.
Uriel: Let’s keep it that way.
Dean: Yeah, okay, chuckles. Who’s your friend?
Castiel: This the raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?
Dean: Why?
Castiel: Dean, have you located the witch?
Dean: Yes, we’ve located the witch.
Castiel: And is the witch dead?
Sam: No, but...
Dean: We know who it is.
Castiel: Apparently the witch knows who you are too. This was inside the wall of your room. If we hadn’t found it, surely one or both of you would be dead. Do you know where the witch is now?
Dean: We’re working on it.
Castiel: That’s unfortunate.
Dean: What do you care?
Castiel: The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals.
Dean: So this is about your buddy Lucifer.
Uriel: Lucifer is no friend of ours.
Dean: It’s just an expression.
Castiel: Lucifer cannot rise, the breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs.
Dean: Okay, great, well now that you’re here, why don’t you tell us where the witch is, we’ll gank her and everybody goes home.
Castiel: We are not omniscient, this witch is very powerful, she’s cloaked even our methods.
Sam: Okay, well we already know who she is, so if we work together-
Uriel: Enough of this.
Dean: Okay, who are you and why should I care?
Castiel: This is Uriel, he’s what you might call a…specialist.
Dean: What kind of specialist? What are you gonna do?
Castiel: You...uh both of you, you need to leave this town immediately.
Dean: Why?
Castiel: Because we’re about to destroy it.
Dean: So this is your plan, you’re gonna smite the whole friggin’ town?
Castiel: We’re out of time, this witch has to die, the seal must be saved.
Sam: There are a thousand people here.
Uriel: One thousand two hundred fourteen.
Sam: And you’re willing to kill them all?
Uriel: This isn’t the first time I’ve…purified a city.
Castiel: Look, I understand this is regrettable.
Dean: Regrettable?
Castiel: We have to hold the line; too many seals have broken already.
Dean: So you screw the pooch on some seals and this town has to pay the price?
Castiel: It’s the lives of one thousand against the lives of six billion, there’s a bigger picture here.
Dean: Right, cause you’re bigger picture kind of guys.
Castiel: Lucifer cannot rise, he does and hell rises with him. Is that something that you’re willing to risk?
Sam: We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone. Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die.
Uriel: We're wasting time with these mud monkeys.
Castiel: I’m sorry, but we have our orders.
Sam: No, you can’t do this, you’re angels, I mean aren’t you supposed to-
Sam: You’re supposed to show mercy.
Uriel: Says who?
Castiel: We have no choice.
Dean: Of course you have a choice, I mean, come on, what? You’ve never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both just a couple of hammers?
Castiel: Look, even if you can’t understand it, have faith, the plan is just.
Sam: How can you even say that?
Castiel: Because it comes from heaven, that makes it just.
Dean: Oh, it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves.
Castiel: Tell me something Dean, when your father gave you an order, didn’t you obey?
Dean: Well sorry boys, looks like the plans have changed.
Uriel: You think you can stop us?
Dean: No, but if you’re gonna smite this whole town, then you’re gonna have to smite us with it, because we are not leaving. See, you went to the trouble of busting me out of hell, I figure I’m worth something to the man upstairs. So you wanna waste me, go ahead, see how he digs that.
Uriel: I will drag you out of here myself.
Dean: Yeah, but you’ll have to kill me, then we’re back to the same problem. I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch. Sounds to me like you're compensating for something. We can do this, we will find that witch and we will stop the summoning.
Uriel: Castiel! I will not let these peop-
Castiel: Enough! I suggest you move quickly.

Castiel: The decision’s been made.
Uriel: By a mud monkey.
Castiel: You shouldn’t call them that.
Uriel: Ah, it’s what they are, savages, just plumbing on two legs.
Castiel: We're close to blasphemy. There’s a reason we were sent to save him, he has potential, he may succeed here. And any rate, it’s out of our hands.
Uriel: It doesn’t have to be.
Castiel: And what would you suggest?
Uriel: That we drag Dean Winchester out of here and then we blow this insignificant pinprick off the map.
Castiel: You know our true orders, are you prepared to disobey?

Dean: Astronaut!

Dean: Zombie-ghost orgy, huh? Well, that's it. I'm torching everybody.

Sam: I thought they'd be different. I mean, I thought they'd be righteous.
Dean: They are righteous. That's the problem. There's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission.
Sam: But, this is God and Heaven? This is what I've been praying to?

Dean: Don't give up on this stuff, is all I'm saying. I mean, Babe Ruth was a dick, but baseball's still a beautiful game.

Dean: Let me guess you’re here for the, I told you so.
Castiel: No.
Dean: Well, good cause I’m really not that interested.
Castiel: I am not here to judge you Dean.
Dean: Then why are you here?
Castiel: Our orders-
Dean: Yeah, you know, I’ve had about enough of these orders of yours-
Castiel: Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain, they were to do whatever you told us to do.
Dean: Your orders were to follow my orders?
Castiel: It was a test, to see how you would perform under, battlefield conditions, you might say.
Dean: It was a witch, not the Tet Offensive. So I uh- failed your test huh? I get it.But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I’d make the same call. Cause see, I don’t know what’s gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don’t even know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, that this, here? These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my brother and me.
Castiel: You misunderstand me Dean, I’m not like you think, I was praying that you would choose to save the town.
Dean: You were?
Castiel: These people, they’re all my father’s creations. They’re works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. Now that’s not an expression Dean, its literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means.
Castiel: Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?
Dean: Okay.
Castiel: I’m not a…hammer as you say, I have questions, I have doubts. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make, I don’t envy the weight that’s on your shoulders Dean. I truly don’t.

Uriel: The only reason you're still alive, Sam Winchester, is because you've been useful. The moment that ceases to be true, the second you become more trouble than you're worth... One word. One, and I will turn you to dust. As for your brother, tell him that maybe he should climb off of that high horse of his. Ask Dean what he remembers from Hell.

Wishful Thinking [4.08]

Sam: It just doesn't make any sense, Dean. I mean, why would Uriel tell me you remembered hell if you didn't?
Dean: Maybe because he's a dick. Might have something to do with it.

Sam: Okay. Fine. Then look me in the eye and tell me you don't remember a thing from your time down under.
Dean: I don't remember a thing from my time down under. I don't remember, Sam!
Sam: Look, Dean, I just want to help.
Dean: You know everything I do. Okay? That's all there is.

Sam: Eye witness reports of a ghost that's been haunting the showers of a woman's health facility (Dean chokes on beer then downs the rest). The victim claims that the ghost threw her down the stairs... I can see you're very interested.
Dean: Women? Showers? (Dean throws money on the table to pay the bill) We've got to save these people!

Candace: I'm not surprised the spirit world chose to make contact with me. I'm something of a... Natural sensitive.
Sam: I can sense that about you, Candace, that whole... Sensitive thing.
Candace: So, what did you say you're calling your book?
Sam: Oh, well, um... Well, the working title is... "Supernatural."

Dean: I got to tell you, I'm pretty disappointed.
Sam: [ Exhales sharply ] You wanted to save naked women.
Dean: Damn right I wanted to save some naked women.

Dean: Run, Forrest, Run!

Sam: Excuse us. FBI.
Police Officer: What?
Sam: Yes,sir. We're here about the... That.
Police Officer: About Bigfoot?
Sam: That's right.

Dean: Well, maybe somebody's pumping LSD into the town water supply.

Dean: So,what... Bigfoot breaks into a liquor store, Jonesing for some hooch? Amaretto and Irish cream. He's a girl-Drink drunk.
Sam: Hey. Check this out.
Dean: He took the whole porno rack? Well, I'll say it again. What the hell is going on in this town?

Dean: I got nothing.
Sam: It's got to be a joke, right? Some big-Ass mother in a gorilla suit?
Dean: Or it's a Bigfoot. You know, and he's some kind of a alcoholo-Porno addict. Kind of like a deep-Woods Duchovny.

Dean: A little young for busty Asian beauties.

Dean: What's this, like a "Harry and the Hendersons" deal?

Audrey: He's my teddy bear. I think he's sick.
Dean: Wow. Uh... Amazing. 'Cause you know what? We... Are, uh... Teddy bear doctors.
Audrey: Really? Can you please take a look at him?
Sam: Sure.
Dean: Sure. Yeah.

Audrey: He's in my bedroom. He's pretty grumpy. Teddy? There's some nice doctors here to see you.
Teddy': Close the friggin' door!
Audrey: See what I mean?

Audrey: All I ever wanted was a teddy which was big, real, and talked. But now he's sad all the time not "ouch" sad, but ouch-In-The-Head sad. Says weird stuff, and smells like the bus!

Sam: Audrey, where are your parents?
Audrey: Well, my mom wished they were in Bali, so I guess they're in Bali

Teddy Bear: Look at this. (indicates television)
(both look at television, which shows news coverage of an explosion)
Teddy Bear: Can you believe this crap?
Dean: (incredulously, looking at Teddy Bear) Not really.
Teddy Bear: It is a terrible world. (turns to Dean) Why am I here?!
Audrey: For tea parties!
Teddy Bear: Tea parties? (sobs) Is that all there is?!

Sam: Audrey, give us a second, okay?
(Sam and Dean walk a short way down the hall and pause, clearly struggling)
Sam: (whispering) Are we - should we - uh - (glances toward Audrey, before quickly turning back) are we gonna kill this teddy bear?!
Dean: (also whispering) How, huh? Shoot it? Burn it?
Sam: I dunno, (glances back again) both?
Dean: Well we dunno if that's even gonna work, an' I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed off teddy on our hands.
Sam: Yeah. Besides, I get the feeling the bear isn't really the, y'know, core problem, here.

Sam: (to Audrey) I'm really sorry to have to break this to you, but your bear is sick. Yeah, he's, he's got...
Dean: Lollipop disease.
Sam: Lollipop disease.
Dean: It's not uncommon for a bear his size, but see it's, it's contagious.
Sam: Yeah. So is there someone, maybe a grown up you can stay with while we treat him?

Sam: What are you gonna wish for?
Dean: Shh! [ trows a coin ] Not supposed to tell.
Delivery Guy: Somebody order a footlong Italian with jalapeño?
Dean: That'd be me.

Dean: What are we supposed to do, huh? Stop people's wishes from coming true? Sounds like kind of a douche-Ey thing to do.

Chinese waiter: Uh, gentlemen, gentlemen. I'm sorry. We don't allow people to eat outside food here.
Dean: Well, I am certainly not gonna eat the inside food here. Health department. You, my friend, have a rat infestation. We're gonna have to shut this place down under emergency hazard code 56c.

Dean: Oh, come on. Aren't you a little bit tempted?
Sam: No. Wouldn't be real. I wouldn't trust it.
Dean: I don't know. That bear seemed pretty real.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Come on, if you could wish yourself back, you know, before it all started... Think about it .You'd be some big yuppie lawyer with a nice car and a white picket fence.
Sam: Not what I'd wish for.
Dean: Seriously?
Sam: It's too late to go back to our old lives, Dean. I'm not that guy anymore.
Dean: All right, well, what, then? Hmm? What would Sammy wish for?
Sam: Lilith's head on a plate. Bloody.

Chinese waiter: Hey, hey, hey, what is this?! You are gonna break my fountain!
Sam: Sir, I don't want to slap you with a 44/16, but I will.

Sam: Dean? You all right?
Dean: The wishes turn bad, Sam. The wishes turn very bad.

Sam: Dean,wake up!
Dean: What? I'm up. What?
Sam: Sleep well?
Dean: Yeah. Tan, rested, and ready.
Sam: Dean, come on, man. You think I can't see it?
Dean: See what?
Sam: The nightmares, the drinking. I'm with you 24/7. I know something's going on.
Dean: Sam, please.
Sam: Uriel wasn't lying, but you are. You remember hell, don't you?
Dean: What do you want from me, huh? What?
Sam: The truth, Dean. I mean, I'm your brother. I just wish you'd talk to me.
Dean: Careful what you wish for.
Sam: Cute.
Dean: Come on, can we stow the couples therapy, huh? We're on a job. I want to work. What do you got? Please?

Wesley: Aren't you the guys from the Health Department?
Sam: Yeah. And florists on the side.
Dean: Plus FBI. And on Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors.

Wesley: "Careful what you wish for." you know who says that? Good-Looking jerks like you guys, the ones who've got it so easy because you happen to be handsome.
Sam: Easy?
Dean: Easy?
Wesley: Yeah. Women -- Women look at you, right? They notice you.
Sam: Believe us, we do not have it easy.
Dean: We are miserable. We never get what we want. In fact, we have to fight tooth and nail just to keep whatever it is we got.
Sam: But you know what? Maybe that's the whole point, Wes.
Dean: Yeah,people are people 'cause they're miserable bastards, 'cause they never get what they really want.
Sam: Right, yeah, you get what you want, you get crazy.
Dean: Take a look at Michael Jackson, hmm? Or Hasselhoff.

Todd: Kneel before Todd!!!!!

Wes: Well, why can't we just get what we want?!
Sam: Because that's life, Wes.

Dean: Okay, man, no more! No more, okay? I wouldn't mess with this kid any more if I were you.

Dean: You were right. I shouldn't have lied to you. I do remember everything that happened to me in the pit. Everything.
Sam: So, tell me about it.
Dean: No, I won't lie anymore, but I'm not going to talk about it.
Sam: Dean, look, you can't just shoulder this thing alone. You got to let me help.
Dean: How? Do you really think that a little heart-to-heart, some sharing and caring, is gonna change anything? Hmm? Somehow... heal me? I'm not talking about a bad day here.
Sam: I know that.
Dean: The things that I saw... there aren't words. There is no forgetting. There's no making it better. Because it is right here... Forever. You wouldn't understand. And I could never make you understand. So I am sorry.

I Know What You Did Last Summer [4.09]

Sam: I don't want 10 years. I don't want one year. I don't want candy! I want to trade places with Dean.
Crossroads Demon: No.
Sam: Just take me! It's a fair trade!
Crossroads Demon: No!
Sam: Why not? Lilith wants me dead. Just let Dean go, and she can have me.
Crossroads Demon: Don't you understand, Sam? It's not about your soul. Dean's in hell, right where we want him. We've got everything exactly the way we want it. You want to kill me? Go ahead. I've made peace with my lord.

Dean: That's Revelations.
Anna's Doctor: Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o-lanterns?
Dean: It's, uh… a little-known translation.

Anna: First words I heard, clear as a bell: "Dean Winchester is saved."

Alastair: Hello again, Dean. Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot, I'm wearing a pediatrician. But we were so Hell.
Dean: Alastair?

(Ruby enters a body that has just been disconnected from air in the hospital.)

Ruby: Who the hell do I have to kill to get some french fries around here?

Ruby: This body is 100% socially conscious. I recycle. Al Gore would be proud.

(Dean interrupts Sam's story - right at the part where he's having sex with Ruby)
Dean: Sam, too much information.
Sam: I told you I was coming clean.
Dean: Yeah, well, now I feel dirty. Okay, well, uh, brain-stabbing imagery aside... So far, all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch who, uh, screwed you, played mind games with you, and did everything in the book to get you to go bad.
Sam: Yeah,well, there's more to the story.
Dean: Just... Skip the nudity, please.

Sam: Ruby?
Maid: Okay, yes, so I'm possessing this maid for a hot minute. Sue me.
Sam: What about...
Maid: Coma girl? Slowly rotting on the floor back at the cabin with Anna, so I've got to hurry back. See you when you get there. Go!

Heaven and Hell [4.10]

Sam: He's working a job?
Dean: God, I hope so. Otherwise, he's at hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap.
Sam: Now that's seared in my brain.

Uriel: Give us the girl.
Dean: Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate.

Castiel: She’s far from innocent.

Uriel: Who’s gonna stop us? You two? Or this demon whore?

Bobby: Iron walls drenched in salt. Demon’s can’t even touch the joint.
Ruby: Which I find racist by the way.

Sam: She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy.
Dean: Who was? The plumber, hmmm? A little snaking the pipes?
Sam: Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again. Look, Anna didn’t say, she just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Like very mad, like wanted to kill her mad.

Pamela: Sam, is that you?
Sam: I'm right here.
Pamela: Oh. Know how I can tell? That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing.

Pamela: You’ve been eying my rack, don’t sweat it kiddo, I’ve still got more senses than most.

Dean: So, you just forgot you were God’s little Power Ranger?
Anna: The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah.
Ruby: I don’t think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are.

Dean: That’s another question why would you fall? Why would you want to become one of us?
Anna: You don’t mean that.
Dean: I don’t? I mean a bunch of miserable bastards; eating crapping confused afraid-
Anna: There’s loyalty forgiveness love-
Dean: Pain-
Anna: Chocolate cake-
Dean: Guilt-
Anna: Sex.
Dean: Yeah you got me there.

Ruby: What?
Dean: Nothing. It's just… an angel and a demon, riding in the back seat. It's like the setup for a bad joke. Or a Penthouse Forum letter.
Sam: Dude. Reality. Porn.
Dean: You call this reality?

(Anna kisses Dean)
Dean: What was that for?
Anna: You know ... my last night on Earth ... all that.
Dean: You're stealing my best line.

Uriel: Look at that. It's so cute when monkeys wear clothes.

Uriel: How dare you come in this room... you pussing sore?
Alastair: Name-calling. That hurt my feelings… you sanctimonious, fanatical prick.

Dean: Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?
Uriel: Castiel? Well, he's not here. You see, he has this weakness. He likes you.

Uriel: You cut yourself a slice of... angel food cake. Didn't you? Huh? You did.

Dean: Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna.. Unless, of course, you're scared.
Uriel: This isn't over.
Dean: Oh, it looks over to me, junkless.

Dean: I know you heard him.
Sam: Who?
Dean: Alastair. What he said... About how I had promise.
Sam: I heard him.
Dean: You're not curious?
Sam: Dean, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about hell, and I'm not pushing.
Dean: It wasn't four months, you know.
Sam: What?
Dean: It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Dean: They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... Like magic... Just so they could start in all over. And Alastair... At the end of every day... every one... He would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... If I put souls on...if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him. But then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart. I lost count of how many souls. The -- the things that I did to them.
Sam: Dean... Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have.
Dean: How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing.

Family Remains [4.11]

Dean:: Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is going to sell like hotcakes.

Sam: It's probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them.
Dean: Know-It-All.
Sam: What?
Dean: What?
Sam: You said...
Dean: What?
Sam: Never mind.

Dean: Well, that's super-Disturbing.
Sam: Think it got left behind?
Dean: By who? Unless bill Gibson likes to play with doll heads.

Kate: Did anyone check if you could get a signal out here?
Brian: Actually I did Kate, but we decide to move anyway just to ruin your life.

Kate: Another motel? Awesome. I hope this one has hooker sheets like the last one.

(seeing the family in the haunted house)

Dean: Crap! So, what now?
Sam: We could tell them the truth.
Dean: Really?
Sam: No, not really.

Kate: I just got molested by Casper the pervy ghost! That's what happened!

Dean: What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!?

Danny: You hunt ghosts?
Dean: That's right.
Danny: Like Scooby-Doo?
Dean: Better.

Dean: Please nobody grab my leg, please nobody grab my leg!

Sam: You were in Hell, Dean. Maybe you did what you did there... but you're not them. They were barely human.
Dean: No, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam. Defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure.
Sam: What?
Dean: I enjoyed it, Sam. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years; all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself... I didn't care who they put in front of me, because that pain I felt, that just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever.

Criss Angel Is A Douchebag [4.12]

Charlie: Is he wearing eye-liner?
Vernon: Can’t tell; I’m blinded by all the sterling silver.
Charlie: What a...
Charlie and Vernon: Douchebag.

Vernon: Oh, come on Jay, his mystery act is shaking his ass that an Eighth Avenue hooker.

Jay: Ah, who cares if it kills me? At least I’ll go out with a headline.

Dean: What a douchebag.
Sam: That's Jeb Dexter.
Dean: I don't even want to know how you know that.
Sam: He's famous, kind of.
Dean: For what, douchebaggery?

Dean: I can't believe people actually fall for that crap.
Sam: It's not all crap.
Dean: What part of that was not a steaming pile of B.S.?
Sam: Okay, that was crap but that’s not all magicians. It takes skill.
Dean: Oh, right, right, I forgot, you were actually into this stuff, weren’t you? You had like a deck of cards and a wand?
Sam: Dude, I was thirteen. It was a phase.

Vernon: What a douchebag.
Dean: Couldn’t agree more.

Chief: You are really gonna get it tonight, big boy.
Dean: There's been a misunderstanding. I, uh, think I've been had.
Chief: Oh, you ain't been had, till you been had by the Chief. Oh, and before we get started, what's your safe word?

Dean: Find anything interesting?
Sam: What? No. You?
Dean: Nothin’ I wanna talk about...or think about ever again.

Sam: What are you doing here, Ruby?
Ruby: I should be asking you the same thing.
Sam: I'm working a job.
Ruby: The whole world's about to be engulfed in hellfire, and you're here in Magictown, U.S.A.
Sam: You got something against magic?

Dean: The Chief, huh?
Charlie: What’s the matter? Chief not your type?
Dean: Y’know, I could have you both arrested for obstruction of justice.
Vernon: How? You’re no Fed.
Charlie: We con people for a living, son. Takes more than a fake badge to get past us.
Dean: You got us. Yeah, we are actually...aspiring magicians.
Sam: Yeah, we came to the convention ‘cos we thought we could learn somethin’.
Dean: Yeah, get some ideas for our new show.
Vernon: Oooh; what kinda show?
Dean: It’s-it’s, ah...
Sam: It’s a brother act.
Dean: Yeah! Yeah, you know with rings and doves and...rings.

Sam: Do you think we will?
Dean: What?
Sam: Die before we get old.
Dean: Haven't we both already?
Sam: You know what I mean, Dean. I mean, do you think we'll still be chasing demons when we're 60.
Dean: No. I think we'll be dead. For good. Why, do you want to end up like... like Travis? Or Gordon, maybe?
Sam: There's Bobby.
Dean: Oh yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully.

Sam: What if there was a way we could go after the source, that's all. Cut the head off the snake.
Dean: Well the problem with the snake is that it has a thousand heads. Evil bitches just keep piling out of the Volkswagen.

Dean: Yeah, it’s time we had a little chat with Jay. Any luck tailin’ him?
Sam: He slipped me.
Dean: He’s a sixty-year-old man.
Sam: He’s a magician.

Sam: Wow, it’s like a magic museum.
Dean: You must be in heaven.

Dean: I ain't Steve Guttenberg and this ain't Cocoon.

Jay: Charlie was like my brother and now he's dead because I did the right thing. He offered me a gift and I threw it back in his face, so now I have to spend the rest of my life old and alone. What's so right about that?

Afterschool Special [4.13]

Dean: Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge.

Sam: Having fun?
Dean: The whistle makes me their god.
Sam: Right. Nice shorts.

Young Dean: Kid's dead.
Young Sam: Dean.
Young Dean: I'm gonna rip his lungs out!
Young Sam: It's not a big deal.
Young Dean: Not a big deal? Sammy, look at yourself. If Dad was here...
Young Sam: He's not.
Young Dean: Well, I am. As soon as I'm finished with that dick...
Young Sam: Just shut up, okay? I don't need your help.
Young Dean: That's right, you don't. You could've torn him apart, so why didn't you?
Young Sam: Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.

Young Sam: Any word from Dad?
Young Dean: He called this morning, says it's going to be another week, at least. We weren't supposed to be here this long.
Young Sam: At least you got Amanda. She's cool.
Young Dean: Dude, she wants me to meet her parents. I don't do parents.

Dean: That ghost is dead. I'm gonna to rip its lungs out! Well, you know what I mean.

Dean: Ghost getting creative--well, that's super.

Mr. Wyatt: Do you want to go into the family business, Sam?
Young Sam: No one's ever asked me that before.
Mr. Wyatt: Well?
Young Sam: More than anything, no.

Dean: I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones.
Sam: No.

Dean: Go have your Robin Williams "Oh Captain! my Captain!" moment.

Dean: All right, everybody stay where you are. You'll be okay.
Jock on Bus: Aren't you the P.E. teacher?
Dean: Not really. I'm like 21 Jump Street. The bus driver sells pot. Yeah.

(an athlete collapses on top of Sam)

Sam: Little help.
Dean: He's giving you the full cowgirl.

Sex and Violence [4.14]

Sam: You seem pretty cheery.
Dean: Strippers, Sammy. Strippers! We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally!

Sam: I just talked to Bobby. We officially have a theory.
Dean: What's that?
Sam: Sirens.
Dean: Like Greek myth sirens? The Odyssey? Hey, I read.

Mr. Benson: Her name was... Jasmine.
Sam: She was a stripper?
Dean: Dude, her name was Jasmine.

Sam: What do you think? She infects them during sex?
Bobby: Maybe
Dean: Supernatural STD.

Dean: (to Sam) Dude, you totally c-blocked me.

Dean: What the hell am I supposed to do with him?
Sam: Just take him to the strip club, keep an eye out for the siren. Come on, Dean. Just, just focus on the naked girls. You'll forget he's even there.
Dean: I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for the girls.

Dean: You know, for a Fed you're not a total dick.
Nick: Aren't we both Feds?
Dean: Yeah, I know, I just... not a lot of Feds as cool as us, huh?

Dean: Did you sleep with her?
Sam: No?
Dean: Holy crap, you did. Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone? Sam, you could be under her spell right now.
Sam: Dude, I'm not under her spell
Dean: Unbelievable, man, I just don't get it.
Sam: What?
Dean: Nothing.
Sam: No, say it.
Dean: Nah, it's just first it's Madison and then Ruby and now Cara. It's like what is it with you and bangin' monsters?

Nick: Dean's all mine.
Sam: You poisoned him.
Nick: Nah I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him. That he could trust. And now he loves me, he'd do anything for me.

Dean:Well, I dunno when it happened. Maybe when I was in Hell. Maybe when I was starin’ right at you. But the Sam I knew; he’s gone.
Sam: That so.
Dean: And it’s not the demon blood or the psychic’s the little stuff. The lies. The secrets.
Sam: Oh yeah, what secrets?
Dean: Your phone calls to Ruby, for one. We see MONROE watching on looking pleased.
Sam: So I need your say-so to make a phone call?
Dean: That’s the point. You’re hiding things from me. What else aren’t you telling me?
Sam: None of your business.
Dean: See what I mean? We used to be in this together. We used to have each other’s backs!
Sam: Okay, fine, you wanna know why I didn’t tell you about Ruby? And how we’re hunting down Lilith? Because you’re too weak to go after her, Dean. You’re holding me back. I’m a better hunter than you are. Stronger, smarter; I can take out demons you’re too scared to go near.
Dean: That’s crap.
Sam: You’re too busy sitting around feeling sorry for yourself, whining about all the souls you tortured in Hell, boo-hoo. You’re not standin’ in my way, anymore!

Sam: Dean, look, you know I didn’t mean the things I said back there, right? That it was just the Sirens spell talking?
Dean: Of course, me too.
Sam: Okay. So... so we’re good?
Dean: Yeah, we’re good.

Death Takes a Holiday [4.15]

Dean: Well, how come he couldn't fling you? He chucked you pretty good last time.
Sam: Got no idea.
Dean: Sam, do me a favor. If you're gonna keep your little secrets, I can't really stop you, but just don't treat me like I'm an idiot, okay?
Sam: What? Dean, I'm not keeping secrets.

Pamela: I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you two are.
Sam: Well, Pamela, you are a sight for sore eyes.
Pamela: Ah, that's sweet Grumpy. What do you say to deaf people?

Pamela: Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the Veil and you find the Reaper, how are you going to save it?
Dean: With style and class.

Dean: I'm so feeling up Demi Moore.

Dean: (as a ghost, sticking his hand in Sam) Am I making you uncomfortable?
Sam: Get out of me.
Dean: You're such a prude. Come on.

Cole: Yeah. Thanks, Haley Joel, I know I'm dead.

Tessa: You don't remember me?
Dean: Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say that…

Dean: How the hell are we supposed to fight that?
Sam: I don't know. Learn some ghost moves?
Dean: By tonight? Yeah, sure. I'll meet you back at Mr. Miyagi's.
Cole: Who's Mr. Miyagi?

Sam: Dude, I'm not gonna do Fight Club with a 12-year-old.

Sam: Go to Hell.
Alastair: Oh, if only I could. But they just keep sending me up to this Arctic craphole.

Alastair: You're stronger, Sam. You've been soloflexing with your little slut.
Sam: You have no idea.

Dean: What the hell?
Castiel: Guess again.

On the Head of a Pin [4.16]

Dean: Home, crappy home.
Uriel: Winchester and Winchester.
Dean: Oh, come on!
Uriel: You are needed.
Dean: Needed? We just got back from needed!
Uriel: Now, you mind your tone with me.
Dean: No, you mind your damn tone with us.
Sam: We just got back from Pamela's funeral.
Dean: Pamela, you know, psychic Pamela? You remember her. Cass, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times!

Dean: I want to talk to Cass alone.
Uriel: I think I'll go seek... revelation. We might have some further orders.
Dean: Well, get some doughnuts while you're out.
Uriel: Ah, this one just won't quit. I think I'm starting to like you, boy.

Dean: You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby. You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do.
Castiel: Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone.

Dean: What’s goin’ on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?
Castiel: My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.
Dean: Your sympathies?
Castiel: I was getting to close to the humans in my charge: you. They feel I’ve begun to express emotions; doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgement.
Dean: Well, tell Uriel, or whoever, you do not want me doing this. Trust me.
Castiel: Want it, no. But I’ve been told we need it.
Dean: You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out.
Castiel: For what it’s worth, I would give anything not to have you do this.

Alastair: [singing:] Heaven. I’m in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. And I seem to find the happiness I seek when we’re out together and dancing cheek to cheek. [laughing] I’m sorry. This is a very serious, very emotional situation for you. I shouldn’t laugh, it’s just that, I mean, are they serious? They sent you to torture me?
Dean: You’ve got one chance. One. Tell me who’s killing the angels. I want a name.
Alastair: You think I’ll see all your scary toys and spill my guts?
Dean: Oh, you’ll spill your guts one way or another. I just didn’t want to ruin my shoes. Now answer the question.
Alastair: Or what ? You’ll work me over? But then, maybe, you don’t want to. Maybe, you’re a little scared to.
Dean: I’m here, aren’t I?
Alastair: Not entirely. You left part of yourself back in the Pit. Let’s see if we can get the two of you back together again, shall we?
Dean: You’re gonna be disappointed.
Alastair: You have not disappointed me so far. Come on, you’ve gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you, for all the pokes and prods. No? Well, how about for all the things I did to your daddy?

Alastair: I had your pop on my rack for close to a century.
Dean: You can’t stall forever.
Alastair: John Winchester made quite a name for himself. A hundred years. After each session I’d make him the same offer I made you: I’d put down my blade if he picked one up...
Dean: Just give me the demon’s name, Alastair.
Alastair: ... but he said nein, each and every time... I couldn’t break him. Pulled out all the stops. But John, he was made of something unique, the stuff of heroes. And then came Dean. Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again. But, daddy’s little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty. Ah, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean? No. Now we’re getting somewhere. Holy water? Come on. Grasshopper, you’re gonna have to get creative to impress me.
Dean: You know something, Alastair? I could still dream, even in Hell. And over and over and over, you know what I dreamt? I dreamt of this moment. And believe me... I’ve got a few ideas. Let’s get started.

Dean: Let me know if you want some more, there’s plenty left.
Alastair: Go directly to Hell. Do not pass ‘Go’, do not collect two hundred dollars.

Alastair: Sorry. Something caught in my throat. I think it's my throat.

Anna: Why are you letting Dean do this?
Castiel: He’s doing God’s work.
Anna: Torturing? That’s God’s work? Stop him, Cas. Please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have.
Castiel: Who are we to question the will of God?
Anna: Unless this isn’t His will.
Castiel: Then where do the orders come from?
Anna: I don’t know. One of our superiors maybe. But not Him.

Anna: The Father you love, you think He wants this? You think He’d ask this of you? You think this is righteous? What you’re feeling, it’s called doubt. These orders are wrong and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You’re afraid, Cas. I was too. [places her hand on top of his] But, together we can s—
Castiel: Together? [removes his hand from under hers] I am nothing like you. You fell. Go.
Anna: Cas,...
Castiel: Go.

Alastair: You know, it was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But in the end, it was you.
Dean: Bring what on?
Alastair: Every night, same offer, remember? Same as your father, and finally you said sign me up. Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch. That was the first seal.
Dean: You're lying.
Alastair: And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break. We had to break the first seal before any others, only way to get the dominos to fall, right? Top of the one at the front of the line. When we win, when we bring on the Apocalypse and burn this earth down, we owe it all to you, Dean Winchester. Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about that. It's kinda a religious sort of thing, I think.
Dean: No, I don't think you are lying. But even if the demons do win, you won't be there to see it.

Alastair: You’ve got a lot to learn, boy. So I’ll see you back in class bright and early Monday morning.

Alastair: Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn’t kill seven angels. She’d kill a hundred, a thousand. Oh, go ahead, send me back. If you can.
Sam: I’m stronger than that now. Now I can kill.

Castiel: Lucifer is not God.
Uriel: God isn't God any more.

Castiel: You can't win, Uriel. I still serve God.
Uriel: You haven't even met the man. There is no will. No wrath. No God.
Anna: Maybe, maybe not. But there's still me.

Castiel: Are you alright?
Dean: No thanks to you.
Castiel: You need to be more careful.
Dean: You need to learn how to manage a damn Devil’s Trap.
Castiel: That’s not what I mean. Uriel’s dead.
Dean: Was it the demons?
Castiel: It was disobedience. He was workin’ against us.
Dean: Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?
Castiel: Yes. When we discovered Lilith’s plan for you, we laid siege to Hell. And we fought our way to get to you before you –
Dean: Jump-started the apocalypse.
Castiel: We were too late.
Dean: Why didn’t you just leave me there then?
Castiel: It’s not blame that falls on you, Dean. It’s fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.
Dean: Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don’t you go disappearing on me you son-of-a-bitch. What does that mean?
Castiel: I don’t know.
Dean: Bull!
Castiel: I don’t. Dean, they don’t tell me much. I know our fate rests with you.
Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can’t do it, Cas. It’s too big. Alastair was right. I’m not all here, I’m not—I’m not strong enough. Well, I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It’s not me.

It's a Terrible Life [4.17]

Sam: Can I ask you a question?
Dean: Look, man, I told you, I'm not into the, uh...
Sam: Oh dude, come on, I'm not either. I just wanna ask you one question.

Sam: I just can't shake this feeling like I... like I don't belong here. You know what I mean? Like I should do something more than sit in a cubicle.
Dean: I think most people who work in a cubicle feel that same way.

Dean: We do what I do best, Sammy. Research.
Sam: Okay. Did you just call me "Sammy"?
Dean: Did I?
Sam: I think you did. Yeah. Don't.

Ed: First, salt; it's like acid to ghosts.
Harry: Burny acid.
Ed: Not LSD.
Harry: No, it's a bad trip for ghosts.

Ed: Next little trick, we learnt this from those... useless douchebags...
Harry: That we hate...
Ed: The Winchesters. Gun.
Harry: Shotgun shell.
Ed: Pack it up with fresh rock salt; very effective.
Harry: ... very effective.
Ed: Winchesters still suck ass though.
Harry: Affirmative; suckage, major.

Ed Zeddemore: You have to burn the remains. Okay, this next part gets a little gross. Sometimes you might have to dig up the body. Sorry.
Harry Spengler: It's illegal in some states.
Ed Zeddemore: All states.
Harry Spengler: Possibly all states.

Dean: Details are everything! You don't want to go fighting ghosts without any health insurance.

Zachariah: Real place, real haunting. Just plunked you in the middle without the benefit of your memories.
Dean: Just to shake things up? So you guys can have fun watching us run around like assclowns in monkey suits!?
Zachariah: To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a Hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from Hell, but because it is what you are and you love it, you'll find you to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this.

Zachariah: You'll do everything you're destined to do, all of it. But I know, I know, you're not strong enough, you're scared, you got daddy issues, you can't do it, right?
Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face.

Zachariah: You should see my découpage.
Dean: [brief pause] Gross... no, thank you.

Zachariah: All I'm saying is, it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things, save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse, it's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around: there are plenty of fates worse than yours. So you with me? You want to go steam yourself another latte, or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

The Monster at the End of this Book [4.18]

Dean: (reading a Supernatural book) This is freakin' insane. How does this guy know all this stuff?
Sam: You got me.
Dean: Everything is in here, I mean everything, from the racist truck to me having sex. I'm full frontal in here, dude.

Dean: There's Sam girls and Dean girls. And what's a slash fan?
Sam: As in... Sam slash Dean. Together.
Dean: Like... together together?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: They do know we're brothers, right?
Sam: It doesn't seem to matter.
Dean: Ah, come on. That's... that's just sick.

Sam: Well, we're hoping that our article can... shine a light on an underappreciated series.
Sera: Yeah! Yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press, then maybe we could start publishing again!
Dean: No, no, no, no. God no. I mean, why, why would you want to do that? You know, it's uh...such a complete series. What with Dean going to Hell and all.
Sera: Oh my God, that was one of my favorite ones because Dean was so... strong and sad and brave. And Sam... oh, I mean the best parts are when they cry, you know, like in... like in "Heart." When Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in "Home," when Dean had to call John and ask him for help. If only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings.
Dean: Real men?
Sera: Oh... I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm?
Dean: Well, right now I'm crying on the inside.
Sera: Is that supposed to be funny?
Dean: Lady, this whole thing is funny.

Chuck: Look, uh, I appreciate your enthusiasm. Really, I do. It's always nice to hear from a fan. But for your own good I strongly suggest you get a life.

Chuck: ... oh, you're still there.
Dean: Yup.
Chuck: You're not a hallucination.
Dean: Nope.
Chuck: Well... there's only one explanation. Obviously, I'm a God.

Sam: We think you're probably just psychic.
Chuck: No. If I were psychic, you think I'd be writing? Writing is hard.

Dean: I'm sitting in a laundromat, reading about myself sitting in a laundromat, reading about myself. My head hurts.
Sam: There's gotta be something this guy's not telling us.
Dean: [reading] "Sam tossed his gigantic darks into the machine. He was starting to have doubts about Chuck, about whether he was telling the whole truth."
Sam: Stop it.
Dean: [reading] "'Stop it,' Sam said." Guess what you do next.
Sam: [turns away from Dean]
Dean: [reading] "Sam turned his back on Dean, his face brooding and pensive." I mean, I dunno how he's doing it, but this guy is doing it. I can't see your face, but those're definitely your brooding and pensive shoulders.
Sam: .....
Dean: [glances down at Chuck's writings] ... you just thought I was a dick.
Sam: [turns back to Dean] The guy's good.

Dean: It frustrates me when you say such reckless things.
Sam: Well, it frustrates me when you'd rather hide than fight.

Dean: Oh my God! This is delicious! Tofu is amazing!
Waitress: I am so sorry! I gave you the bacon cheeseburger by mistake.

Dean: Behave yourself, would you? No homework. Watch some porn.

Chuck: Dean.
Dean: I take it you knew I'd be here.
Chuck: You look terrible.
Dean: It's because I just got hit by a minivan, Chuck.
Chuck: Oh.
Dean: That it? Every damn thing you write about me comes true, that's all you have to say is "oh"?!

Castiel: Dean, let him go! This man is to be protected.
Dean: Why?
Castiel: He’s a prophet of the Lord.

Chuck: You - you’re Castiel. Aren’t you?
Castiel: It’s an honour to meet you, Chuck. I admire your work.
Dean: Whoa whoa whoa. What, this guy, a prophet? Come on! He’s practically a penthouse forum writer! (to Chuck) Did you know about this?
Chuck: I uh - I might have dreamt about it.
Dean: And you didn’t tell us?
Chuck: It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant; I mean writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That's like M. Night-level douchiness.
Dean: (to Castiel) This is the guy who decides our fate?
Castiel: He isn't deciding anything. He's a mouthpiece, a conduit for the inspired word.
Dean: The word? The word of God? What, like the New New Testament?
Castiel: One day, these books, they'll be known as the Winchester Gospel.
Dean & Chuck: You gotta be kidding me.

Dean: Him? Really?
Castiel: You should've seen Luke...

Dean: Why’d he get tapped?
Castiel: I don’t know how prophets are chosen. The order comes from high up on the celestial chain of command.
Dean: How high?
Castiel: Very.
Dean: Well whatever. How do we get around this?
Castiel: Around... what?
Dean: This Sam-Lillith love connection! How do we stop it from happening?
Castiel: What the prophet has written can’t be unwritten. As he has seen it, so it shall come to pass.

Sam: You think I'll do it, don't you? You think I'll go darkside.
Dean: Yes! Okay? Yes. The way you've been acting lately! The things you've been doing! Oh, I know. How you ripped Alistair apart like it was nothing, like you were swatting a fly. Cas told me, okay?
Sam: ... what else did he tell you?
Dean: Nothing I don't already know. That you've been using your psychic crap and you've been getting stronger, we just don't know why, we don't know how.
Sam: It's not what you think...
Dean: Then what is it, Sam?! 'cause I'm at a total loss!

Dean: Well, I feel stupid doing this, but... I am fresh out of options. So please. I need some help. I’m praying, okay? Now come on! Please.
Castiel: Prayer is a sign of faith. This is a good thing, Dean.
Dean: So does that mean you’ll help me?
Castiel: I’m not sure what I can do.
Dean: Drag Sam out of here now, before Lillith shows up!
Castiel: It’s a prophecy. I can’t interfere.
Dean: You have tested me, and thrown me every which way. And I have never asked for anything. Not a damn thing. Now I’m asking. I need your help. Please.
Castiel: What you’re asking, it’s not within my power to do.
Dean: Why, cause it’s divine prophecy?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: So what, we’re just supposed to sit around and wait for it to happen?
Castiel: I’m sorry.
Dean: Screw you. You are your mission. Your God. If you don’t help me now, then when the time comes and you need me? Don’t bother knocking.
Castiel: Dean. Dean!
Dean: What?
Castiel: You must understand why I can’t intercede. Prophets are very special, they’re protected.
Dean: I get that.
Castiel: If anything threatens a prophet, anything at all - an archangel will appear to destroy that threat. Archangels are fierce. They’re absolute. They’re Heaven’s most terrifying weapon.
Dean: And these archangels, they’re tied to prophets?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: So if a prophet was in the same room as a demon...
Castiel: Then the most fearsome wrath of Heaven would rain down on that demon. Just so you understand... why I can’t help.
Dean: Thanks, Cas.
Castiel: Good luck.

Chuck: What're you doing here? I didn't write this.
Dean: Come on, I need you to come with me.
Chuck: What? Where?
Dean: To the motel where Sam is.
Chuck: That's... where Lilith is.
Dean: Yeah, exactly, I need you to stop her.
Chuck: Are you insane? Lilith?! I know what she's capable of, Dean. I wrote her.

Dean: This isn't a story anymore, man! This is real! And you're in it. Now I need you to get off your ass, and fight.
Chuck: ... no friggin' way.
Dean: Okay, well then how 'bout this? I've got a gun in my pocket, and if you don't come with me, I'll blow your brains out.
Chuck: I thought you said I was protected by an Archangel.
Dean: ... interesting exercise. Let's see who the quicker draw is.

Chuck: I am the prophet, Chuck!

Zachariah: Did you see it?
Chuck: Who are you?
Zachariah: I’m Zachariah. You may know me from your work.
Chuck: What do you want?
Zachariah: Did you see it?
Chuck: Is it true? Is all of that really going to happen?
Zachariah: Have you been wrong so far?
Chuck: I gotta warn Sam and Dean!
Zachariah: I wouldn’t advise it. People shouldn’t know too much about their own destiny. You try, and I’ll stop you. Where are you going?
Chuck: To go kill myself.
Zachariah: Don't be melodramatic, Chuck. We'd only bring you back to life.
Chuck: What am I supposed to do?
Zachariah: What you always do. Write.

Jump the Shark [4.19]

Adam: He's a mechanic, right?
Dean: A car fell on him.

Adam: How can I help?
Dean: You can't.
Adam: This thing killed my mom. If you're hunting it, I want in.
Dean: No.
Sam: Dean, look maybe...
Dean: (interrupting) Maybe what?
Sam: He lost his mother. Maybe we can understand what that feels like.
Dean: Why do you think dad never told us about this kid, Sam, huh? Why do you think he ripped out the pages?
Sam: Because...
Dean: (interrupting) Because he was protecting him!
Sam: Dad's dead, Dean.
Dean: It doesn't matter! He didn't want Adam to have our lives, okay? And we're gonna respect his wishes.
Adam: Do I get a say in this?
Dean: No!
Sam: No.

Adam: Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real.
Dean: Godzilla's just a movie.

Graveyard Caretaker: Tell me, Agent Nugent, have you thought about where you might like to spend eternity?
Dean: All the damn time.

(Montage of Sam and Adam salting all the windows and boarding up all but one of the vents in Adam's house.)
Sam: Alright, we've closed off every other way into the house. If this thing's coming, it's coming through here.
(Sound of front door creaking open.)
Adam: You were saying?

Dean: You know I finally get why you and dad butted heads so much. You two are practically the same person. I mean I worshiped the guy, y'know: dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music. But you are more like him than I will ever be. I see that now.
Sam: I'll take that as a compliment.
Dean: You can take it any way you want.

The Rapture [4.20]

Castiel: We need to talk.
Dean: I'm dreaming, aren't I?
Castiel: It's not safe here... someplace more private.
Dean: More private? We're inside my head.
Castiel: Exactly. Someone could be listening.
Dean: Cas, what’s wrong?
Castiel: Meet me here. Go now.

Dean: Cas you okay?
Jimmy: Castiel - I’m not Castiel. It’s me.
Sam: Who’s me?
Jimmy: Jimmy - my name’s Jimmy.
Dean: Where the hell is Castiel?
Jimmy: He’s gone.

Dean: What were you doing anyway?
Sam: I went for a Coke.
Dean: Was it a refreshing Coke?

Dean: You look terrific.
Anna: Yeah... Now's not the most appropriate time, Dean.

Sam: I got a little dizzy.
Dean: Call it whatever you want. Point is, you used to be strong enough to kill Alastair. Now you can't even kill stunt demon #3.
Sam: what do you want me to say about it Dean?
Dean: For starters, what's going on with your mojo? It's yo-yoing all over the place. I'm not trying to pick a fight here, you're scaring me man.
Sam: I'm scaring myself.

Sam:You have to come with us.
Jimmy:How long? And don't give me that "cross that bridge when we get to it" crap.
Sam: Don't you get it? Forever. The demons will never stop. You can never be with your family. So, you either get as far away from them as possible. Or you put a bullet in your head, And that's how you keep your family safe. But there's no getting out and there's no going home.
Dean: Don't sugarcoat it, Sam.

Claire: Hi Daddy!
Jimmy: Hi baby.
Amelia: Okay, so we have turkey and roast beef... it better be okay, it’s all we have.
Jimmy: Oh it’s fine. More than fine. Should we sit?
Amelia: Yeah.
Jimmy: It’s perfect (picks up a sandwich)
Claire: Daddy? Aren’t you going to say grace?
Jimmy: No honey, I don’t think I am.
Claire: Why are you crying?
Jimmy: Because I’m happy.

Jimmy: Castiel you son of a bitch! You promised me my family would be okay, you promised you were gonna take care of them! I gave you everything you asked me to give, I gave you more! This is the thanks I get? This is what you do? This is your Heaven? Help me, please! You promised, Cas! Just help me!

Castiel/Claire: Of course we keep our promises. Of course you have our gratitude. You served us well. Your work is done. It’s time to go home now. Your real home. You’ll rest forever in the fields of the Lord. Rest now, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Claire!
Castiel/Claire: She’s with me now. She’s chosen. It’s in her blood. As it was in yours.
Jimmy: Please, Castiel. Take me, please.
Castiel/Claire: I want to make sure you understand. You won’t die, or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture a hundred. A thousand more like it.
Jimmy: It doesn’t matter! You take me! Just take me.
Castiel/Claire: As you wish.

Dean: Cas, hold up. What were you going to tell me?
Castiel: I learned my lesson while I was away Dean. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you.

Sam: What's the big demon problem?
Bobby: You are. This is for your own good (locks Sam inside the panic room).

When the Levee Breaks [4.21]

Sam: I'm not drinking the demon blood for kicks. I'm getting strong enough to kill Lilith.

Dean: How long is this gonna go on?
Bobby: Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one.

Young Sam: The answer is yes, you're hallucinating. That's right, it's me, or I mean it's you
Sam: I'm losing my mind.
Young Sam: Definitely.
Sam: What do you want?
Young Sam: An explanation. How could you do this to me? I thought we were gonna be normal.
Sam: I tried, I did, it didn't pan out that way, sorry kid.
Young Sam: Sorry kid, that's what you have to say? It's all we ever wanted. You were so close! You got away from dad, you quit hunting, you were gonna become a lawyer and get married, why'd you blow it?
Sam: Look, they killed Jessica.
Young Sam: Yeah, and if you hadn't run off with Dean, if you had been there, she'd still be alive.
Sam: I know.
Young Sam: Think Jess would want you to turn into this? She loved you! You think she'd be happy, you using her as an excuse?
Sam: I'm sorry, I am, but life doesn't turn out the way you thought it would when you were 14 years old. We were never gonna be normal, we were never gonna get away, grow up.
Young Sam: Maybe you're right, maybe there's, no escape. After all,

[eyes turn yellow]

Young Sam: how can you run from what's inside you?

Dean: Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something.
Castiel: Nothing of import.
Dean: You got ass-reamed in Heaven but it was not "of import"?

Castiel: Get to the reason you really called me; it's about Sam, right?
Dean: ... can he do it? Kill Lilith? Stop the Apocalypse?
Castiel: Possibly, yes. But, as you know, he would have to take certain steps.
Dean: Crank up the hell-blood regimen.
Castiel: Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever; most likely he would become the next creature you would feel compelled to kill.

Castiel: [to Dean] Stand up, and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it.

Castiel: Do you give yourself over wholly to the service of God and His angels?
Dean: Yeah, exactly.
Castiel: Say it.
Dean: I give myself over wholly to the service of God and you guys.

Bobby: Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you willingly signed up to be the angels' bitch? I'm sorry. You prefer "sucker"?

Dean: Yeah, well, I'll tell you one thing. At this point, I hope he's with Ruby.
Bobby: Why?
Dean: 'Cause killing her is the next big item on my to-do list.
Bobby: I thought you were on call for angel duty.
Dean: I am on call, in my car, on my way to murder the bitch.

Sam: Stop bossing me around, Dean! Look, my whole life you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. And now, I'm asking you, for once, trust me.
Dean: No. You don't know what you're doing, Sam.
Sam: Yes, I do!
Dean: Then that's worse!
Sam: Why?
Dean: Because it's not something that you're doing, it's what you are! It means...
Sam: What? Say it!
Dean: It means you're a monster.

Sam: You don't know me. You never did, and you never will.

Dean: If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back.

Lucifer Rising [4.22]

Azazel: I suppose some dumb bastard stood here, felt a jolt of his holy juice and thought 'I'm going to build me a nun factory.' Well, it was the right idea... wrong angel.

Dean: I'm not sure if he's my brother any more. If he ever was.
Bobby: You stupid stupid son of a bitch! Well boo hoo. I am so sorry your feelings are hurt... princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good? Make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family.
Dean: I told him "If you walk out that door, don't come back" and he walked out anyway .. that was his choice!
Bobby:You sound like a whiny brat .. no you sound like your dad.Well let me tell you something, your dad was a coward
Dean:My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward.
Bobby:He'd rather push Sam away then reach out to him .. well that don't strike me as brave .. you are a better man than your daddy ever was, so you do both of us a favor .. don't be him

Dean: How about this? The suite life of Zach and Cas...

Zachariah: Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were eleven, I think.
Dean: I'm not hungry.
Zachariah: No? How about Ginger from Season 2 of Gilligan's Island? You've do have a thing for her, don't you?
Dean: Tempting. Weird.
Zachariah: We'll throw in Mary Anne for free.

Dean: Bail on the holodeck, okay? I want to know what the game plan is.
Zachariah: Let us worry about that. We want you... focused, relaxed.
Dean: Well, I'm about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking, Chuckles.

Zachariah: We'll do our job, you just make sure you do yours.
Dean: Yeah, and what is that, exactly? I'm supposed to be the one that stops her, how? With a knife?
Zachariah: All in good time.
Dean: Isn't now a good time?
Zachariah: Have faith.
Dean: What, in you? Give me one good reason why I should.
Zachariah: Because you swore your obedience... so obey.

Sam: Where's Lilith?
Demon: I'm not scared of you.
Sam: Yeah, you are, actually. And with good reason.
Demon: Look... what's my upside? Okay, I tell you, you kill me. I don't tell you, you still kill me. I get away somehow, Lilith will definitely kill me. So where's my carrot?

Ruby: (referring to disemboweled nuns) What's black and white and red all over?

Dean: I'm still pissed, and I owe you a serious beatdown, but...I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm not dad. We're brothers, you know, we're family, and no matter how bad it gets, that doesn't change. Sammy I'm sorry.

Castiel: You asked to see me.
Dean: Yeah, listen, I, uh, I need something.
Castiel: Anything you wish.
Dean: I need you to take me to see Sam.
Castiel: Why?
Dean: There's something I gotta talk to him about.
Castiel: What's that?
Dean: ... the BM I took this morning, what's it to you? Just make it snappy.
Castiel: I don't think that's wise.
Dean: Well, I didn't ask you for your opinion.
Castiel: Have you forgotten what happened the last time you met?
Dean: No. That's the whole point. Listen, I'm gonna do whatever you mooks want, okay? I just need to tie up this one thing; five minutes, that's all I need.
Castiel: ... no.
Dean: ... what do you mean "no"? Are you saying that I'm trapped here?
Castiel: You can go wherever you want.
Dean: Super, I wanna go see Sam.
Castiel: Except there.
Dean: I wanna take a walk.
Castiel: Fine, I'll go with you.
Dean: Alone.
Castiel: No.
Dean: ... you know what, screw this noise; I'm outta here.
Castiel: Through what door?

Zachariah: Our grunts on the ground - we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?

Zachariah: The apocalypse. Poor name, bad marketing, puts people off, when all it is is Ali/Foreman - on a slightly larger scale.

Dean: What happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?
Zachariah: Well, can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. In this case, truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture.

Zachariah: When you've won, your rewards will be unimaginable. Peace, happiness, two virgins and 70 sluts...

Dean: Tell me something. Where's God in all this?
Zachariah: God? God has left the building.

Castiel: You can't reach him, Dean. You're outside your coverage zone.
Dean: What're you gonna do to Sam?
Castiel: Nothing. He's going to do it to himself.
Dean: What's that supposed to mean? Oh right, right. Better toe the company line. Why are you here, Cas?
Castiel: We've been through much together, you and I; I just wanted to say I'm sorry it ended like this.
Dean: Sorry? (Dean hits Castiel) It's Armageddon, Cas, you're gonna need a bigger word than "sorry."
Castiel: Try to understand; this is long foretold, this is your--
Dean: Destiny? Don't give me that "holy" crap. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families - that's real. And you're gonna watch them all burn?
Castiel: What is so worth saving?! I see nothing but pain here; I see inside you, I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace. Even with Sam.
Dean: You can take your peace... and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in Paradise. This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier; there is a right, and there is a wrong here, and you know it. Look at me! You know it! And you were gonna help me once, weren't you? You were gonna warn me about all this, before they dragged you back to Bible Camp. Help me, now. Please.
Castiel: ... what would you have me do?
Dean: Get me to Sam, we can stop this before it's too late!
Castiel: I do that, we will all be hunted! We'll all be killed!
Dean: If there's anything worth dying for... this is it. .. (Castiel shakes his head) You spineless, soulless son of a bitch! What do you care about dying? You're already dead. We're done.
Castiel: Dean!
Dean: We're done!!!

Chuck: (speaking on the phone) Oh yeah? Really, at the same time? Really? Wow. That sounds... moist.
Woman: (on the phone, laughs) Well, it can be.
Chuck: What're your rates?
Woman: You can get one girl, one hour, one thousand.
Chuck: ... okay, then I'll take 20 girls, for the whole night.
Woman: I'm... not sure you can afford that.
Chuck: Lady, sometimes you gotta live like there's no tomorrow. (turns to see Dean and Castiel standing in his kitchen) ... wh--th-th-this isn't supposed to happen.
Woman: Sir?
Chuck: (speaks hastily into the phone) No, lady, this is definitely supposed to happen, but... I just gotta call you back. (hangs up and stares at Dean and Castiel) I...

Lilith: Don't be afraid; we're going to save the world.

Dean: (reading from Chuck's writings) St. Mary's? What is that, a convent?
Chuck: Yeah, but... you guys aren't supposed to be there; you're not in this story.
Castiel: Yeah, well... we're making it up as we go.
Chuck: (his house begins to shake violently, as light surrounds the room) What--? Oh man... not again! (sparks fly from his computer) agh!
Castiel: (shouts over the noise) It's the Archangel! (to Dean) I'll hold them off; I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!

Sam: I've been waiting for this for a very long time.
Lilith: Then give me your best shot.

Lilith: [laughing] You turned yourself into a freak. A monster. And now you're not gonna bite? I'm sorry, but that is honestly adorable.

Ruby: I can't believe it. You did it.
Sam: What? What did I do?
Ruby: You opened the door, and how he's free at last!
Sam: I killed her!
Ruby: And it is written, that the first demon will be the last seal. And you busted her open, now guess who's coming to dinner.
Sam: Oh my god.
Ruby: Guess again!

Sam: He's coming.

Season 5

Sympathy For the Devil [5.01]

Dean: First things first. How did we end up on soul plane?

Dean: Where's Cas?
Chuck: He's dead. Or gone.The archangel smote the crap out of him. I'm sorry.
Dean: You're sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something.
Chuck: Oh, no. He, like, exploded. Like a water balloon of chunky soup.

Chuck: Oh god. Is that a molar? I have a molar in my hair. It's been a really stressful day.

Becky: Yes, I'm a fan, but I really don't appreciate being mocked. I know that "Supernatural" is just a book, okay? I know the difference between fantasy and reality.
Chuck: Becky, it's all real.
Becky: I knew it!

Becky: He had a vision. "The Michael sword is on earth. The angels lost it."
Dean: The Michael sword?
Sam: Becky, does he know where it is?
Becky: In a castle on a hill made of forty-two dogs.
Dean: Forty-two dogs?
Sam: Are you sure you got that right.
Becky: It doesn't make sense, but that's what he said. I memorized every word... for you.
Sam: Umm... Becky, can you... quit touching me?
Becky: No.

Bobby: That's Michael. The toughest son of a bitch they've got.
Dean: Are you kidding me? Tough? The guy looks like Cate Blanchett.

Sam: You warned me about Ruby, about the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on.
Bobby: You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant.
Sam: I'm sorry.
Bobby: Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle we pull this off... I want you to lose my number.

Zachariah: I see you told the demons where the sword is.
Dean: Oh, thank God, the angels are here.

Zachariah: We may have planted that particular piece of prohecy inside Chuck's skull, but it happened to be true; we did lose the Michael sword. We truly couldn't find it. Until now, you've just hand-delivered it to us.
Dean: We don't have anything.
Zachariah: ... it's you, Chucklehead. You're the Michael sword.

Zachariah: You're Michael's weapon. Or rather his receptacle.
Dean: I'm a vessel?
Zachariah: You're the vessel. Michael's vessel.
Dean: How? Why, why me?
Zachariah: Because you're chosen. It's a great honor, Dean.
Dean: Yeah. Life as an angel condom. That's real fun. I think I'll pass, thanks.
Zachariah: Joking. Always joking. Well no more jokes. Bang.

Zachariah: [referring to Sam] Keep mouthing off, I'll break more than his legs.

Dean: You need my consent. Michael needs my say-so to ride around in my skin.
Zachariah: Unfortunately, yes.
Dean: Well, there's got to be another way.
Zachariah: There is no other way. There must be a battle. Michael must defeat the Serpent. It is written.
Dean: Yeah, maybe. But, on the other hand... eat me. The answer's no.

Zachariah: [after giving Dean cancer, and debilitating Sam's lungs] Are we having fun yet? You're going to say "yes", Dean.
Dean: Just kill us.
Zachariah: Kill you? Oh no... I'm just getting started.

Zachariah: How are you…
Castiel: …alive? That’s a good question. How did these two end up on that airplane? Another good question ’cause the angels didn’t do it. I think we both know the answer, don’t we?
Zachariah: That’s not possible.
Castiel: That scares you. It should. Now, put these boys back together and go. I won’t ask twice.

Castiel: You two need to be more careful.
Dean: Yeah, I'm starting to get that. Your frat brothers are bigger dicks than I thought.

Dean: [referring to the Enochian sigils] What, so you just brand us with it?
Castiel: No, I carved it into your ribs.

Sarah/Lucifer: I'm not your wife, Nick. I'm an angel.
Nick: An angel?
Sarah/Lucifer: My name is Lucifer.
Nick: Sure. Naturally. Umm... could you do me a favor there, Satan, and remind me to quit drinking before I go to bed?

Dean: What if we win? I'm serious. I mean, screw the angels and the demons and their crap Apocalypse. They want to fight a war, they can find their own planet. This one's ours, and I say they get the hell off of it. We take 'em all on. We kill the Devil. Hell, we even kill Michael if we have to, but we do it our own damn selves.
Bobby: And how are we supposed to do all this, genius?
Dean: I got no idea. But what I got is a G.E.D. and a "give 'em hell" attitude and I'll figure it out.
Bobby: You are nine kinds of crazy, boy.
Dean: It's been said.

Sam:Dean is there something you wanna say to me?
Dean:I tried Sammy.. Man i really tried.But i just can`t keep pretending that everything is all right,because is not.And it`s never going to be.You chose a demon over your own brother, and look what happened.
Sam: I would give anything, anything to take it all back.
Dean: I know you would. And I know how sorry you are. I do. But, man...You were the one that I depended on the most. And you let me down in ways that I can't even... I'm just, I'm having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here. You know?
Sam: What can I do?
Dean: Honestly? Nothing. I just don't think that we can ever be what we were... And I don't think I can trust you.

Good God Y'all [5.02]

Dean: What's it been, like three days now? We got to cheer (Bobby) up. Maybe I'll give him a back rub.

Bobby: Enough foreplay! Get over here and lay your damn hands on.

Bobby: You're telling me you lost your mojo just in time to get me stuck in this trap the rest of my life?!
Castiel: ... I'm sorry.
Bobby: Shove it up your ass.
Dean: ... well, at least he's talking now.
Bobby: I heard that.

Castiel: I don't have much time; we need to talk.
Dean: Okay.
Castiel: Your plan, "kill Lucifer."
Dean: Yeah, you wanna help?
Castiel: No. It's foolish, it can't be done.
Dean: Oh, well, thanks for the support.

Dean: God?
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: God?
Castiel: Yes. He isn't in Heaven. He has to be somewhere.
Dean: Try New Mexico. I hear He's on a tortilla.
Castiel: No, He's not on any flat bread.

Dean: Listen, chuckles, even if there is a God, He's either dead, and that's the generous theory...
Castiel: He is out there, Dean.
Dean: ... or He's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us.

Dean: I mean, look around you, man; the world is in the toilet! We are literally at the end of days here, and He's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut! Alright?
Castiel: Enough! This is not a theological issue; it's strategic. With God's help, we can win...
Dean: It's a pipe-dream, Cas'.
Castiel: [approaches Dean] I killed two angels this week, my brothers. I'm hunted, I've rebelled, and I did it--all of it--for you. And you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world, and I lost everything... for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.

Bobby: ... When you find God, tell Him to send legs!

Ellen: My daughter may be an idiot, but she's not stupid.

War: Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish.

Rufus: In my experience, I find demons come at you slower when they don't have any limbs.

Rufus: "Stop firing" usually means stop firing.

Dean: So pit stop at Mount Doom?
Sam: Dean.
Dean: Sam, let’s not.
Sam: No, listen this is important. I know you don’t trust me. Just now I realize something.I don’t trust me either. From the minute I saw that blood the only thought in my head…and I tell myself it’s for the right reasons, that my intentions are good and it feels true ,you know. But I think underneath…I just miss the feeling. I know how messed up that sounds, which means I know how messed up I am. The thing is, the problem’s not the demon blood. Not really. What I did I can’t blame the blood or Ruby…or anything. The problem’s me, how far I’ll go. There’s something in me…that scares the hell out of me, Dean. And the last couple of days I caught it in a glimpse.
Dean: So what you’re saying?
Sam: I’m in no shape to be hunting. I need to step back, 'cause I’m dangerous. Maybe it’s best we just…go our separate ways.
Dean: Well, I think you're right.
Sam: I was expecting a fight.
Dean: The truth is, I spend more time worrying about you than about doing the job right. I just can't afford that, you know? Not now.
Sam: I’m sorry, Dean.
Dean: I know you are Sam... Hey you uh…want to take the Impala?
Sam: It’s okay... Take care of yourself, Dean.
Dean: Yeah, you too, Sammy.

Free to Be You and Me [5.03]

Dean: [hunting a vampire] Eat it, Twilight.

Dean: [to Castiel] You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?

Dean: We're humans. When we really want something, we lie.
Castiel: Why?
Dean: Because--that's how you become president.

Dean: [referring to Raphael's catatonic vessel] I take it that's not Raphael anymore.
Castiel: Just an empty vessel.
Dean: So, is this what I'm lookin' at when Michael jumps my bones?
Castiel: No, not at all; Michael is much more powerful, it'll be far worse for you.

Dean: Where've you been?
Castiel: Jerusalem.
Dean: Oh. How was it?
Castiel: Arid.

Dean: ... tell me something; you keep saying we're gonna trap this guy, but isn't it kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?
Castiel: No, it's harder.

Dean: ... So, odds are you're a dead man tomorrow.
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: Well... last night on earth, what, uh... what're your plans?
Castiel: I just thought I'd sit here quietly.
Dean: ... dude, come on, anything, hm? Booze? Women?
Castiel: [glances at Dean, then looks away quickly]
Dean: You have been with a woman before, right? Or an angel at least? You mean to tell me you've never been out there doing a little cloud-seeding?

Dean: [to Castiel] Let me tell you something, there are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not going to die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go.

Dean: Hey. Relax.
Castiel: This is a den of iniquity. I should not be here.
Dean: Dude, you full-on rebelled against heaven; iniquity is one of the perks.

Dean: His name is Cas'. What's your name?
Woman: Chastity.
Dean: Chastity?
Chastity: Mm-hm.
Dean: Wow. [to Castiel] It's like kismet or what, buddy, huh?

Dean: [sends Castiel with a stripper:] Take this. If she asks for a credit card, no. Now just stick to the basics, okay, do not order off the menu. Go get her, Tiger. [Castiel hesitates] Don't make me push you

Dean: [after Chastity storms away] What the hell did you do?
Castiel: I don't know. I just looked at her in the eyes, and told her it wasn't her fault that her father, Gene, ran off; it was because he hated his job at the post office.
Dean: [rolls his eyes, and laughs in disbelief] Oh no, man.
Castiel: What?
Dean: ... this whole industry runs on absent fathers. It-it's the natural order.

Raphael: Castiel.
Castiel: Raphael.
Dean: Well, you know, I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is blackout the room?
Raphael: And the eastern seaboard. It is a testament of my unending mercy that I don't smite you here and now.
Dean: Or maybe you're full of crap. Maybe you're afraid that God'll bring Cas' back to life again, and smite you and your candyass skirt. By the way, hi, I'm Dean.

Raphael: But there's no other explanation; He's gone for good.
Castiel: You're lying.
Raphael: Am I? Do you remember the 20th century? Do you think the 21st is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen, if he were alive?
Dean: ... oh yeah? Well then, who invented the Chinese Basket trick?
Raphael: Careful. That's my father you're talking about, boy.
Dean: Yeah, who would be so proud to know that His sons started the friggin' apocalypse.
Raphael: Who ran off and disappeared? Who left no instructions, and a world to run?
Dean: ... so daddy ran away and disappeared; He didn't happen to work for the post office, did He?

Castiel: If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?!
Raphael: Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?
Castiel: ... no.
Raphael: Think about it; he needs all the rebellious angels he can find.

Raphael: Castiel, I'm warning you; do not leave me here. I will find you.
Castiel: Maybe one day... but today, you're my little bitch.
Dean: What he said.

Dean: Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but... I do know a little something about missing fathers.
Castiel: What do you mean?
Dean: I mean, there were times when I was looking for my dad when... all logic said that he was dead. But I knew... in my heart, that he was still alive. So, who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas'? What do you believe?
Castiel: ... I believe He's out there.
Dean: Good. Then go find Him.
Castiel: What about you?
Dean: What about me..? I dunno. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but... I am, I'm--I'm really good.
Castiel: Even without your brother?
Dean: Especially without my brother. I mean, I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch... I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past 24 hours than I've had with Sam in years. And you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family... but now that I'm alone... hell, I'm happy.

Sam: [to "Jessica"] God knows how much I miss you. But you're wrong; people can change. There is reason for hope.

Sam: What do you want with me?!
Lucifer: Thanks to you, I walk the earth. I want to give you a gift; I want to give you everything.
Sam: I don't want anything from you!

Sam: [referring to hosting an angel as a vessel] You need my consent.
Lucifer: Of course... I'm an angel.
Sam: I will kill myself before letting you in.
Lucifer: Then I'll just bring you back.

Jess: Hey, baby.I missed you.
Sam: Jessica!I’m dreaming.
Jess: Well, your not.What’s the difference I’m here.
Sam: I miss you so much.
Jess: I know.I miss you, too.What are you doing, Sam?
Sam: What do you mean?
Jess: Running away.Have we’ve been down this road before.
Sam: No, it’s different now.
Jess: Really?
Sam: Last time I want it to be normal.This time I know I’m a freak.
Jess: Which is all a big ball of samentics, you know that.
Sam: No.
Jess: Even in Stanford you knew.You knew there was something dark inside of you.Deep down maybe, but you knew.Baby that’s what get me killed.
Sam: No.
Jess: I was dead from the moment we said “hello”.
Sam: No.
Jess: Don’t you get it.You can’t run from yourself.Why are you running now?
Sam: Why are you here, Jess?
Jess: Could you believe that I’m actually trying to protect you?
Sam: From what?
Jess: You.Sooner or later the pass it’s gonna catch you like it always does.You know what happens then?People die.Baby the people closes to you die.
Sam: Don’t worry, because I won’t make that mistake again.
Jess: Same song, different verse.Things will never gonna change with you.Never.

The End [5.04]

Dean: [chuckles] It's kinda funny; I'm talking to a Messenger of God on a cellphone. It's, y' know, like watching a Hell's Angel ride a moped.
Castiel: [speaking on his new cell] This isn't funny, Dean. The voice says I'm almost out of minutes.

Castiel: Where are you now?
Dean: Kansas City... [grabs his roomkey] Century Hotel, room 113.
Castiel: I'll be there immediately.
Dean: Whoa whoa whoa, no, no, come on, man. I just drove like 16 hours straight, okay? I'm human. There's stuff I gotta do.
Castiel: What stuff?
Dean: Eat, for example. In this case, sleep; I just need like 4 hours once in a while, okay?
Castiel: ... yes.
Dean: Okay, so you can... pop in tomorrow morning.
Castiel: Yes.
Dean: [hangs up]
Castiel: I'll just... wait here then.

Dean: So you're his vessel, huh? Lucifer's wearing you to the prom.
Sam: That's what he said.
Dean: Just when we thought you were out, they pull you back in, huh Sammy?
Sam: So that's it? Your response?
Dean: What're you looking for?
Sam: I don't know a little panic, maybe?
Dean: I guess I'm a little numb to the earth shattering revelations at this point.

Dean: So you're just gonna be back in and we are gonna be the dynamic duo again?
Sam: Look, Dean. I can do this. I can. I'm gonna prove it to you.
Dean: Look, Sam -- It doesn't matter. -- Whatever we do. I mean, it turns out that you and me, we're the, uh -- The fire and the oil of the armageddon. You know, on that basis alone, we should just pick a hemisphere. -- Stay away from each other for good.
Sam: Dean, it does not have to be like this. We can fight it.
Dean: Yeah, you're right we can. But not together. We're not stronger when we are together, Sam. I think we are weaker. Because whatever we have between, family...whatever it is...they are always gonna use it against us. And you know that. We are better off apart. We got a better chance to dodging Lucifer and Michael and this whole damn thing...if we just go our own ways.
Sam: Dean, don't do this.
Dean: Goodbye, Sam.

Dean: What are you, a hippie?
2014-Castiel: [stretching] Thought you'd gotten over trying to label me.
Dean: Cas', we gotta talk...
2014-Castiel: [turns to face Dean] Whoa, strange.
Dean: What?
2014-Castiel: You... are not you. Not now-you anyway.
Dean: No! Yeah, yes. Exactly.
2014-Castiel: What year are you from?
Dean: 2009.
2014-Castiel: ... who did this to you? Is it Zachariah?
Dean: Yes.
2014-Castiel: ... interesting.
Dean: Oh yeah, it's friggin' fascinating. Now... just strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calender.
2014-Castiel: [turns away and laughs] I wish I could just, uh, strap on my wings. But, uh, I'm sorry, no dice.
Dean: ... what, are you stoned?
2014-Castiel: Generally, yeah.
Dean: What happened to you?
2014-Castiel: ... life?

2014-Dean: --Are you saying my plan is reckless?
2014-Castiel: Are you saying we, uh, walk in straight up the driveway, past all the demons and the croates, and we shoot the devil?
2014-Dean: ... Yes.
2014-Castiel: Okay. If you don't like, uh, "reckless", I can use "insouciant" maybe.
2014-Dean: Are you coming?
2014-Castiel: ... of course.

2014-Dean: Sam didn`t die in Detroit..He said "YES"
Dean: "Yes" . wait .. you mean..
2014-Dean: That`s right. The big "YES". To the Devil... Lucifer is wearing him to the prom.
Dean: Why he would do that?
2014-Dean: Wish I knew. But now we don`t have a choice. It`s in him and it`s not going out. We have to kill him, Dean. And you need to see it. The whole damn thing. How bad it gets. So you can do it different.

2014-Chuck: So you're really from '09.
Dean: Yeah, 'fraid so.
2014-Chuck: Some free advice... you ever get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it, hoard it like it's made of gold, 'cause it is.
Dean: Thanks, Chuck.
2014-Chuck: Oh, you'll thank me alright, mark my words.

Dean: So you're human. Welcome to the club.
2014-Castiel: ... thanks. Except I used to belong to a much better club.

2014-Castiel: I'm now powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence? Right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?

Dean: [to 2014-Dean] Hey, uh, me... can I talk to you for a second?

Sam as Lucifer: Oh..Hello, Dean. Aren’t you a surprise? You've come a long way to see this haven’t you?
Dean: Well go ahead. Kill me.
Sam as Lucifer: Kill you? Don’t you think this will be a little... redundant? I'm sorry. It must be painful. Speaking to me in this shape. But it had to be your brother. It had to be. (Lucifer tries to touch Dean but Dean fliches back) You don’t have to be afraid of me, Dean. What do you think I’m going to do?
Dean: I don’t know, maybe deep fry the planet.
Sam as Lucifer:Why? Why would I want to destroy this stunning thing? Beautiful in a trillion different ways. The last perfect handy-work of God. Have you ever heard the story of how I fell from Grace?
Dean: Oh, good god you're not gonna tell me bedtime stories, are you? My stomach´s almost out of bile.
Sam as Lucifer: You know why God cast me down? Because I loved Him. More then anything. And then God created… you. The little…hairless apes. And then he asked all of us to bow down before you. To love you more than Him. And I said: ”Father…I can’t”. I said: ”This human beings are flawed. Murderous.” And for that… God had Michael cast me into Hell. Now tell me… does the punishment fit the crime? Especially when I was right. Look, what six billion of you had done to his thing. And how many of you blame me for it.
Dean: You're not fooling me, you know that? With this sympathy for the devil crap. I know what you are.
Sam as Lucifer:What am I?
Dean: You're the same thing only bigger. The same brand of cockroach I’ve been squashing my whole life. An ugly. evil. belly to the ground supernatural piece of crap. The only difference between them and you…is the size of your ego.
Sam as Lucifer: I like you, Dean. I get what the other angels see in you. Goodbye. We’ll meet again soon.
Dean: You better kill me now!
Sam as Lucifer: Pardon?
Dean: You better kill me now!!! Or I swear I will find a way to kill you. And I won't stop.
Sam as Lucifer: I know you won't. I know you won't say “Yes” to Michael either. And I know you won't kill Sam. Whatever you do… you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make…whatever details you alter…we will always end up… here. I win. So I win.
Dean: You´re wrong.
Sam as Lucifer: See you in five years, Dean.

Dean: That was pretty nice timing, Cas'.
Castiel: We had an appointment.
Dean: [grabs Castiel's shoulder] Don't ever change.

Dean: Sam. If you're serious and you want back in you should hang on to this. I’m sure you're rusty. Look man, I’m sorry. I'm… whatever I need to be, but I was ah…wrong.
Sam: What made you change your mind?
Dean: Long story. The point is… maybe we are each other Achilles’ heel. Maybe they’ll find a way to use us against each other, I don’t know. I just know we are all we’ve got. More than that. We keep each other human.
Sam: Thank you. Really thank you. I won’t let you down.
Dean: Oh I know it. I mean you are the second best hunter on the planet
Sam: So what do we do now?
Dean: We make our own future.
Sam: Guess we have no choice.

Fallen Idol [5.05]

Jim: How much you pay?
Cal: A lot.
Jim: Come on, how much?
Cal: ... a lot.

Sam: So... what's with this job?
Dean: Dude suffers a head-on collision in a parked car? I'd say it's worth checking out.
Sam: Yeah, definitely, um, but... we've got bigger problems, don't you think?
Dean: I'm sure the apocalypse'll still be there when we get back.

Dean: And how exactly did Jim slam Cal into a windshield with all the force of an 80 mph crash?
Rick Carnegie: ... drugs maybe?

Sam: [referring to "Little Bastard"] So, what... this is like, "Christine"?
Dean: No, "Christine" is fiction; this, this is real.

[Dean slides under the car, Little Bastard, to get its number]
Sam: [kneels down and looks under the car] Need a flashlight?
Dean: [jumps] No. Don't... do anything; just go away.
Sam: Y--uh... okay...
Dean: Don't speak! Alright? In fact, don't even look at her, she might not like it.

Sam: I've been working my ass off here...
Dean: Hey, world's smallest violin, pal; I spent the afternoon up Christine's skirt. I needed a drink.

Dean: Not a word.
Sam: Dude, you just got wailed on by Paris Hilton.
Dean: ... shut up.

I Believe the Children Are Our Future [5.06]

Dean: [preparing to test a joy buzzer] Are you ready?
Sam: Hit it, Mr. Wizard.

Dean: [after electrocuting a large ham with a joy buzzer] That'll do, pig.

Sam: I don't get it... Jesse is the devil's son?
Castiel: [sighs] No, of course not; your bible gets more wrong than it does right.

Dean: [steps between Sam and Castiel] Okay, hey... look, we are not going to kill him. Alright? But we can't leave Jesse here, either. We know that. So... we take him to Bobby's, he'll know what to do.
Castiel: You'll kidnap him? What is going on in this town, it's what happens when this thing is happy; you cannot imagine what it will do if it's angry.

Sam: So we tell him the truth. You say Jesse's destined to go darkside, fine, but he hasn't yet. So if we lay it all out for him... uh, what he is, the apocalypse, everything, he might make the right choice.
Castiel: ... you didn't. And I can't take that chance.

Dean: You think Jesse’s gonna be OK?
Sam: I hope so.
Dean: You know we destroyed that kid’s life by telling him the truth.
Sam: We didn’t have a choice, Dean.
Dean: Yeah. You know I start to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mix some pop rocks and coke.Protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. More I think about it… more I wish dad would've lied to us.
Sam: Yeah, me too.

The Curious Case Of Dean Winchester [5.07]

Sam: (watching old Dean trying to break into a safe) It's like Mission Pathetic.

Dean: You're not useless, Bobby.
Bobby: Okay... good talk.
Dean: Woah, wait a moment, listen to me... you don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is: you're family. Now I don't know if you've noticed but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare thinking bout checking out! I don't wanna hear that again!
Bobby: Okay.
Dean: Okay. Good.
Bobby: Thanks... now are we done feeling our feelings? Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
Dean: Yeah, we're done.

Changing Channels [5.08]

Sam: What are you watching?
Dean: A hospital show - "Dr Sexy, M.D.". I think it's based on a book.
Sam: When did you hit menopause?

Dean: Ally with the Trickster?
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: A bloody, violent monster... and you wanna be Facebook friends with him? Nice, Sammy.

Dean: It's him, it's Dr. Sexy.

NutCracker Host: No, no, no, no... Mr. Trickster does not like pretty boy angels.

Dean: What do I do? What do I do? I don't wanna get it in the nuts!

Dean: [as Herpexia's voiceover] Patients should always consult with a physician before using Herpexia. Possible side effects include headache, diarrhea, permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea.

[Dean and Sam are on the set of a sitcom]
Dean: How long do we have to keep doing this?
Sam: [strained smile] I dunno.
Audience: [laughs and applauds]
Sam: Maybe forever?
Audience: [laughs]
Sam: ... we might die in here.
Audience: [continue to laugh]
Dean: [glares at the audience] ... how is that funny? Vultures.

Trickster: Well, you know! Sam starring as Lucifer, Dean starring as Michael! Your celebrity deathmatch! Play your roles.
Sam: You want us to say "yes" to those sons of bitches?
Trickster: Hellz yeah, let's light this candle!

Dean: Calm down?! I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show. And you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. It's like 300 of them on television. They're all the freakin' same.

Sam: And I say... Jackpot.

Sam: So, which one are you? Grumpy, Sleepy, or Douchy?

Dean: Ok, Gabriel, how does an archangel become a Trickster?
Gabriel/Trickster: My own private witness protection.

Gabriel: You do not know my family. What you guys call the Apocalypse, I call Sunday dinner!

Dean: No, we’re not ‘cause we don’t screw with people the way you do.And for the record, this isn’t about some price fight between your brothers or some destiny that can’t be stoped.This is about you being too afraid to stand up with your family.(after breaking the glass)Don’t say I never did anything for you.

Dean: All that stuff he was spelled in there .. Do you think he was telling the truth?
Sam: I think he believes it.
Dean: So what do we do?
Sam: I don’t know.
Dean: I’ll tell you one thing – right about now wish I was back in a TV show.
Sam: Yeah, me too.

The Real Ghostbusters [5.09]

Becky: What? They're gonna wanna see it.
Dean & Sam: See what?
Becky: Oh my god, I love it when they talk at the same time.

Dean: Well, you sure look lovely tonight. Especially for a dead chick.
Latisha Actress: Buddy, I have heard that line 17 times tonight, okay? And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets. But you seem different.
Dean: How so?
Latisha Actress: Well, you don't seem scared of women.

Dean: I think the Dean and Sam story sucks. It is not fun, it's not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse!

Dean: [to Sam] Just give her the puppy dog thing, okay?

Chuck: No, there's really no such thing as a Croatoan Virus for... down there. You really should see a doctor.

Demian: I'm not sure you get what the story's about.
Dean: That so?
Demian: In real life, he sells stereo equipment, I fix copiers; our lives suck. But Sam and Dean... to wake up every morning and save the world, to have a brother who would die for you... Well, who wouldn't want that?

Sam: Oh, hey, Chuck, look. If you really want to publish more books, I guess that's okay with us.
Chuck: Wow. Really?
Sam: No, not really. We have guns and we will find you.

Chuck: Like all authors I started writing because of love. I had a huge crush on Nancy McKeon who played Jo in The Facts of Life. I must have written her forty to fifty letters. She never wrote back.

Chuck: The way I look at it, it's not really 'jumping the shark' if you never come back down."

Abandon All Hope [5.10]

Lucifer: Castiel, right? Castiel, I'm told you came here in an automobile.
Castiel: ... yes.
Lucifer: What was that like?
Castiel: Um, slow. Confining.
Lucifer: What a peculiar thing you are.

Lucifer: We're on the same side, like it or not, so... why not just serve your own best interests, which in this case, just happen to be mine.
Castiel: I'll die first.
Lucifer: ... I suppose you will.

Ellen: I'll love you forever, Joanna Beth. [looks down at her daughter, seeing she is already dead] Jo? [crying] That's okay...that's okay. That's my good girl.


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From Wikibooks, the open-content textbooks collection

Parapsychology/Print version
Social Sciences

Parapsychology is the academic study of certain types of reported phenomena which cannot be explained by current scientific understanding. These paranormal phenomena are often popularly referred to as psychic, but parapsychology also includes phenomena such as reincarnation, which do not fall under this umbrella. Parapsychology as an academic discipline began in 1882 with the founding of the Society for Psychical Research (SPR) in London, England.

The term paranormal describes reported phenomena which cannot be explained by current scientific understanding. Parapsychologists do not study all types of paranormal phenomena, and many parapsychologists specialize in a particular area. Parapsychology does not encompass all paranormal phenomena- examples of excluded ideas include UFOs and cryptozoology. This book seeks to encompass both parapsychological and other paranormal ideologies.

This book uses the word phenomenon for the purposes of objectivity. Proponents and skeptics may use other terms that more closely fit their point of view.

This book is divided into two main sections:

Parapsychology Development stage: 25% (as of 24 January, 2008)(24 January, 2008)

This is the study of unexplained activity centered around people. This includes extra-sensory perception, street light interference, telekinesis, poltergeists etc.

Paranormal Activity Development stage: 25% (as of 21 January, 2008)(21 January, 2008)

This section addresses the paranormal- unexplained events which do not seem to revolve around a particular person. It includes apparitions, hauntings, reincarnation, near-death experiences, etc., and the methods of testing environmental changes surrounding these events.

Note to contributors

  1. This book contains a printable version. Any new chapters that are created in the main sections must be manually added to it in order for it to appear in the print version. Changes made to existing versions will appear automatically.
  2. A part of the print version are these two pages:
  3. The ESP chapter of Parapsychology requires special coding to appear in the print version properly. All ESP subpages must have their headings bumped a level lower for the print version, example:


  4. The actual page paths don't translate well to the reader, so every page has a title manually inserted. These shouldn't appear in the print version. Use this code:

    <center>'''Chapter title'''</center>

See also

Simple English


The word supernatural is used for things that some people believe are real, but that are not part of nature. Because we cannot prove whether these things are real, people often disagree about these things.

Scientists say that we should talk about things without talking about the supernatural, because we cannot prove that supernatural things are real. Other people say that although we cannot prove supernatural things in a scientific way, they are real. Many ideas like religion, magic, miracles, spirits, ghosts, angels, devils, gods, and God are supernatural.


In comic books, the superhero is a person with supernatural abilities and tries to hide them. In books, a character (Usually Fantasy, or Science fiction) has some sort of supernatural powers. For example: A witch who can cast magic.

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