Survivor Series: Wikis


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From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Survivor Series logo as of 2009

The Survivor Series is an annual professional wrestling pay-per-view event held in November by World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment. It is one of the "Big Four", as along with WrestleMania, Royal Rumble and SummerSlam, it was one of the original four annual WWF/E pay-per-views.

Survivor Series is the second longest running pay-per-view event in WWF/E history, behind WrestleMania. The first Survivor Series, held in 1987, came on the heels of the incredible success of WrestleMania III, as the WWF began to see the lucrative potential of the pay-per-view market.


Original concept

The Survivor Series 2005 stage setup

The original concept for the Survivor Series was to have an annual pay-per-view event that focused on tag team wrestling. Another contributing factor to the birth of the Survivor Series was to capitalize on the big time feud between Hulk Hogan and André the Giant, who wrestled each other at WrestleMania III.

It was originally created to be a "Thanksgiving tradition" as the first four Survivor Series events took place on Thanksgiving Day in November. After four years of taking place on Thanksgiving Eve following that, Survivor Series moved to a more-traditional Sunday PPV date.

Survivor Series matches

The event is usually characterized by having five on five (or sometimes four on four) tag-team elimination matches. These matches are generally referred to simply as "Survivor Series matches". The 1987-1991 and 1993-1997 Survivor Series events featured multiple Survivor Series style matches. The 1992 event had only one 4 on 4 tag team elimination match, but featured the first WWF Casket match. The 1998 edition featured an elimination tournament for the WWF Championship, not seen since WrestleMania IV. The 2002 Survivor Series featured the debut of the Elimination Chamber match. The 2007 Survivor Series featured a Hell in a Cell match for the first time in the history of the event.

Survivor Series dates and venues

Event Date City Venue Main Event
Survivor Series (1987) November 26, 1987 Richfield, Ohio Richfield Coliseum André the Giant, One Man Gang, King Kong Bundy, Butch Reed and Rick Rude (with Bobby Heenan and Slick) vs. Hulk Hogan, Paul Orndorff, Don Muraco, Ken Patera and Bam Bam Bigelow (with Oliver Humperdink) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1988) November 24, 1988 Richfield, Ohio Richfield Coliseum The Mega Powers (Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage), Hercules, Koko B. Ware and Hillbilly Jim (with Miss Elizabeth) vs. The Twin Towers (Akeem and The Big Boss Man), Ted DiBiase, Haku and The Red Rooster (with Slick, Bobby Heenan and Virgil) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1989) November 23, 1989 Rosemont, Illinois Rosemont Horizon The Ultimate Warriors (The Ultimate Warrior, The Rockers (Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) and Jim Neidhart) vs. The Heenan Family (Bobby Heenan, André the Giant, Haku and Arn Anderson) in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1990) November 22, 1990 Hartford, Connecticut Hartford Civic Center Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana vs. Ted DiBiase, Rick Martel, The Warlord and Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) (with Virgil and Slick) in a 3-on-5 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1991) November 27, 1991 Detroit, Michigan Joe Louis Arena The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal) and The Big Boss Man vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) and Irwin R. Schyster (with Jimmy Hart) in a 3-on-3 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1992) November 25, 1992 Richfield, Ohio Richfield Coliseum Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship
Survivor Series (1993) November 24, 1993 Boston, Massachusetts Boston Garden The All-Americans (Lex Luger, The Undertaker, Rick Steiner and Scott Steiner) (with Paul Bearer) vs. The Foreign Fanatics (Yokozuna, Crush, Ludvig Borga and Quebecer Jacques) (with Jim Cornette, Johnny Polo and Mr. Fuji) in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (1994) November 23, 1994 San Antonio, Texas Freeman Coliseum The Undertaker (with Paul Bearer) vs. Yokozuna (with Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette) in a Casket match with Chuck Norris as the Special Guest Enforcer
Survivor Series (1995) November 19, 1995 Landover, Maryland USAir Arena Diesel (c) vs. Bret Hart in a No Disqualification match for the WWF Championship
Survivor Series (1996) November 17, 1996 New York, New York Madison Square Garden Shawn Michaels (c) (with Jose Lothario) vs. Sycho Sid for the WWF Championship
Survivor Series (1997) November 9, 1997 Montreal, Quebec Molson Centre Bret Hart (c) vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWF Championship
Survivor Series (1998) November 15, 1998 St. Louis, Missouri Kiel Center The Rock vs. Mankind for the vacant WWF Championship
Survivor Series (1999) November 14, 1999 Detroit, Michigan Joe Louis Arena Triple H (c) vs. The Big Show vs. The Rock in a Triple Threat match for the WWF Championship
Survivor Series (2000) November 19, 2000 Tampa, Florida Ice Palace Steve Austin vs. Triple H in a No Disqualification match
Survivor Series (2001) November 18, 2001 Greensboro, North Carolina Greensboro Coliseum Team WWF (The Rock, Chris Jericho, The Undertaker, Kane and The Big Show) vs. Team Alliance (Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, Booker T, Rob Van Dam and Shane McMahon) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series match for control of the WWF
Survivor Series (2002) November 17, 2002 New York, New York Madison Square Garden Triple H (c) vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T in the first Elimination Chamber match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Survivor Series (2003) November 16, 2003 Dallas, Texas American Airlines Center Goldberg (c) vs. Triple H (with Ric Flair) for the World Heavyweight Championship
Survivor Series (2004) November 14, 2004 Cleveland, Ohio Gund Arena Team Orton (Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho and Maven) vs. Team Triple H (Triple H, Edge, Batista and Snitsky) in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (2005) November 27, 2005 Detroit, Michigan Joe Louis Arena Team Raw (Shawn Michaels, Kane, The Big Show, Carlito and Chris Masters) vs. Team SmackDown! (Batista, Rey Mysterio, John "Bradshaw" Layfield, Bobby Lashley and Randy Orton) (with Bob Orton and Jillian Hall) in a 5-on-5 Survivor Series match
Survivor Series (2006) November 26, 2006 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania Wachovia Center King Booker (c) (with Queen Sharmell) vs. Batista for the World Heavyweight Championship
Survivor Series (2007) November 18, 2007 Miami, Florida American Airlines Arena Batista (c) vs. The Undertaker in a Hell in a Cell match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Survivor Series (2008) November 23, 2008 Boston, Massachusetts TD Banknorth Garden Chris Jericho (c) vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship
Survivor Series (2009) November 22, 2009 Washington, D.C. Verizon Center John Cena (c) vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the WWE Championship
Survivor Series (2010) November 21, 2010[1] Miami, Florida[2] American Airlines Arena[2] TBD

Video box set

  • WWE Home Video released The Survivor Series Anthology 1987-91 & 1992-96 (Vol 1&2) on DVD on November 3, 2009.[3]


External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

The Survivor Series is a WWE Pay Per View held every November since 1987. It is where teams of 4 or 5 battle in elimination matches. The first Survivor Series was held Thanksgiving 1987 at the Richfield Coliseum.



Gorilla: Round and round and round she goes and where she stops, there she stops.
Jesse: Only Velvet knows. How do you like the end of that poetry?
Gorilla: Maybe they'll put it on record.
Jesse: I'm better than Leaping Lanny Poffo.

Craig: Perhaps we can get a comment from the eighth wonder of the world. Andre the Giant.
Andre: Hogan, I did it once. Say that I will do it again!

[Smash kicks Dynamite Kid when Dynamite puts his head down.]
Gorilla: Oh he got caught. Cardinal mistake, put his head down. Now Dynamite's in the wrong part of town and he's going to pay for it.
Jesse: And when you get caught in the wrong corner here, you've got six or eight boots hitting you.
Gorilla: At the same time.
Jesse: Oh yeah.
Gorilla: To the best of my knowledge Jess, there's--
Jesse: And you know what else is great? They've got three or four guys to distract the referee (Smash throws the referee across the ring) and uh oh! Smash just fired the referee across the ring. (Bell rings.)
Gorilla: Well that'll take care of Smash and Ax then.
Howard: As a result of a disqualifcation, Demolition has been eliminated.
Gorilla: Ax and Smash are gone. That was kind of stupid Jess.
Jesse: Well, they got overzealous. What can I say?

Gorilla: Haku is back in there. Nice clothesline!
Jesse: No that's Toma.
Gorilla: You're right. It's Toma. It's Tama.
Jesse: Tama, Toma. It's Toma if I say it's Toma.
Gorilla: It's Tama take my word for it.

Jesse: I tell you, they do love their Strike Force here in Cleveland.
Gorilla: This is Richfield, Jesse.
Jesse: Yeah, that's a suburb of Cleveland. That's worse yet.

Jesse: If the Young Stallions get eliminated here, it will leave the Killer Bees up against three teams.
Gorilla: That's almost a little rough right there.
Jesse: And suppose maybe you'll see them running much the same as Honky Tonk Man did earlier.
Gorilla: I don't think so.
Jesse: Why?
Gorilla: Because they're not that kind.
Jesse: I would think that would be the smart thing to do in that situation.

Jesse: Did you see the agility of that? Haku weighs what, 280?
Gorilla: He's well over 300 pounds.
Jesse: And he went from a standing position, leapt up and drop kicked Roma right in the face.
Gorilla: I'd like to see the Anvil try that. (Anvil also does a standing drop kick right here) Oh, he didn't get as high but he got up there. He must've heard me.
Jesse: Tell me Gorilla, is he wired to your headset?
Gorilla: Could be. Deja vu.

[Million Dollar Man, Ted Dibiase recalls when he bought a public pool for himself.]
Dibiase: Yeah, I'd like a lot of privacy. When are all these little brats going to be out of the pool?
Pool Manager: We close the pool at 8:00 in the evening.
Dibiase: Yeah, well what would it take to make this a private pool right now?
Pool Manager: I'm afraid I can't do that. It's a public pool and the taxpayers. I'd have a lot of problems with the mothers and fathers.
Dibiase: Listen mister, I pay more taxes in a month than most people make in a year. Virgil, (snaps his fingers, Virgil hands a couple of $100 bills to the manager.) I think we can find something wrong with the pool today. Don't you?
Pool Manager: I really can't. It's a public pool, I'd really have problems with the mothers and the fathers.
Dibiase: Virgil, (snaps his fingers, Virgil hands two more $100 bills to the manager.) I think there's a little too much chlorine in the water. Don't you?
Pool Manager: I'll be right back.
Dibiase: Yeah get these brats out of the water!
[Virgil and the manager walk over to the pool.]
Pool Manager: (blows his whistle) All right, everybody out! The chlorine level is too high. We're going to close the pool. Let's go. Come on.
Virgil: Come on you little brats! Get out of the pool! Come on! All of you, out! Out! Out! Come on! Let's go!

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, as a result of a countout, Hulk Hogan has been eliminated. And futhermore the referees have instructed that if Hulk Hogan does not leave the ring and go back to the dressing room immediately, he will award the bout to Andre the Giant's team.


Jesse: All I've got to say to Sam Houston is welcome to the big leagues.

Gorilla: Bobby Heenan's team, the Brain Busters. He says he's going to take them to the top.
Jesse: Well if anybody can, Heenan can Gorilla.
Gorilla: Well he hasn't proven that to me. He doesn't have one champion in his family.
Jesse: Oh you don't like him because he's your partner on Prime Time!
Gorilla: No I didn't say that. If you want to make champions then go ahead and make champions but he hasn't proven to me that he's made one.
Jesse: What are you talking about? Andre held the title.
Gorilla: For 30 seconds.
Jesse: Only because he gave it away.

Gorilla: (Mr. Fuji is up on the apron.) Nice clothesline by Smash as Ax tells him "Put him away!" (Fuji pulls the ropes open and Smash goes through to the outside)
Jesse: Whoa! Did you see that Gorilla? Fuji was hanging on to the rope!
Gorilla: I don't know. Inadvertanlly or not. Maybe he just lost his balance.
Jesse: No! I distinctly saw Fuji open the ropes and Smash went through them.
Gorilla: And he got counted out!
Howard: Demolition has been counted out!
Gorilla: Look at Ax call on Fuji now!
Mr. Fuji: I don't care! I'm the boss! And I did not pull the rope down!
Gorilla: Fuji saying "I'm the boss!"
Jesse: Ooh, Fuji hit him with the cane!
Gorilla: He hits him again with it.
Jesse: It's not having any effect. (Fuji whacks Ax from behind with his cane)
Gorilla: From behind he nails him again with it! (Smash throws Fuji into Ax who slams him on the floor) Ax slamming Fuji on the canvas, on the concrete!
Jesse: All I can say is we've definitly had a major falling out. Happened here tonight.
Gorilla: History made here tonight here at Survivor Series! (The Powers of Pain help Fuji back up)
Jesse: Wait a minute. What have we got going on here now?
Gorilla: Action continues but look at this! Why are they helping Fuji?
Jesse: I tell you Gorilla, there's more to this than meets the eye I think.
Gorilla: Something stinks here.
Jesse: And it ain't Cleveland.

Jesse: I've noticed you're wearing shades now Gorilla, is that because you want to be like me?
Gorilla: No it's because I want to see.

(Slick hits Randy Savage from behind with his cane)

Gorilla: Oh look at that!
Jesse: Did Macho trip? What happened?
Gorilla: Slickster from the outside tripped up the Macho Man with his cane.
Jesse: Now how can you be so sure?
Gorilla: I saw it!
Jesse: You saw it? Through those bifocals you could see it?


Gorilla: We're underway, as the 4x4s have cleared the ring.
Jesse: What do you expect? They run in the ring with boards.
Gorilla: No, they're 4x4s.
Jesse: Yeah, boards, that's what I said.
Gorilla: No they're only two-by-fours.
Gorilla: Well, the Macho King, he had a scepter out there. He had a weapon, didn't he?
Jesse: Come on, Monsoon, get serious for a change, will you? Do you condone for a minute them being allowed to bring boards in the ring with them?
Gorilla: That's just a symbol of their team.
Jesse: Yeah.
Gorilla: You don't see them out there now, do you?
Jesse: I got a bridge, Monsoon, that's for sale. You interested?

[Hacksaw Jim Duggan, having been defeated, clears the ring with his 2x4]
Jesse: Now do you condone that, Gorilla?
Gorilla: Absolutely. After what they did? Yes!
Jesse: You condone him coming in from behind...
Gorilla: Are you deaf, I said yes!
Jesse: [cont'd] and hitting somebody with a foreign object. You're despicable, Gorilla!

Gorilla: Look at the big Z on the side of his head there. What's that, in case he gets lost or something?
Jesse: No, it means Zeus, Gorilla. You know Zeus starts with Z.
Gorilla: Oh I understand that.
Jesse: Then what'd you ask for?
Gorilla: See if you were paying attention, Jess.

Jesse: [as Hogan and Demolition triple-team DiBiase] Now what do you call this, Monsoon?
Gorilla: It's called survival.
Jesse: Oh, it's "survival" when your favorites do it; it's cheating when the other team does it.
Gorilla: I didn't say that.
Jesse: Yes you did. Look at this, triple-teaming in the center of the ring. Now why won't the referee disqualify them?
Gorilla: It's the referee's prerogative.
Jesse: Yeah, a little biased, if you ask me, Gorilla. I mean, he fires Zeus out of here right at the getgo and he's letting the Hulkamaniacs get away with murder.
Gorilla: Did not Zeus knock the referee down twice, Jess? You can't put your hands on the referee. I don't care whether you've got a Z on the side of your head or not, that's not legal. That'll cost you the match. And I don't know. If Zeus was still out there, I'd have my doubts.
Jesse: Well if Zeus was still out there, Hogan wouldn't be.

Gorilla: He (Ted DiBiase) spat at him!(Hulk Hogan)
Jesse: Spat at who?
Gorilla: At the champ. Well, what are you watching?! Aren't you paying attention?!
Jesse: I'm watching kneedrops right into the back. I'm not looking at where spit and sweat is flying.
Gorilla: Well pay attention!
Jesse: How can you see spit and sweat fly when there's knees and elbows?
Gorilla: I might want to ask you a question later.

Jesse: [after the Powers of Pain are disqualified] He's saving Hogan again?! Not once! No, twice Hogan's gonna get saved in this match!
Gorilla: Referee may have just disqualified both members of the Powers of Pain.
Jesse: Oh, this makes me sick, Monsoon! He disqualifies Zeus 'cause he beats up Hogan, now they disqualify the Powers of Pain because they beat up Hogan too!

Rick Rude: The tights on my behind are telling the tale
Which team will perish, and which will prevail.

Gorilla: [on the Bushwhackers] A lot of bushwhacking going on here in the Rosemont Horizon.
Jesse: What do you expect, Gorilla? It's Chicago. These guys are probably half normal in Chicago on Halsted Street.

Gorilla: As the chant goes out by this capacity crowd: "Weasel!" Listen to them, I told you they all know his name.
Jesse: Yeah, and I know that you instigated it, Monsoon. You sit down and quit waving at 'em to start that up! Pay attention to your job instead of picking sides!

Jesse: [as Haku tags Bobby Heenan] Here comes Heenan, there you go.
Gorilla: Yeah, he wants in when somebody's in trouble. [Heenan kicks Marty Jannetty and quickly tags Arn Anderson] Oh, did you see that?! Give me a break.
Jesse: Hey he got in, did the damage, and got out.
Gorilla: Did what damage?
Jesse: Kicked him in the nuts.
Gorilla: Oh please.


Gorilla: The Ultimate Warrior has worked his way to the Grand Finale, Rod.
Piper: The idea here — how do you become a survivor? You need to be a leftover! It's Thanksgiving!

Ted DiBiase: Like I've said a million times before, everybody's got a price for the Million Dollar Man, so without further ado, I will introduce to you now my mystery partner. Led to the ring by his manager Brother Love, weighing in at 320 pounds, from Death Valley, I give you THE UNDERTAKER!
Gorilla: There's only supposed to be four members on a team; this guy makes four and a half, maybe five.

Piper: We don't wanna see quitters here, we wanna see real men! And real men wear kilts!

Gorilla: With all the excitement, I almost forgot about that humongous egg that's gonna hatch here.
Piper: The last time I saw an egg that size when Milli Vanilli laid it.

Piper: The Russians give us Nikolai Volkoff, we give the Russians MTV and 2 Live Crew. There's a fair exchange, huh?

Mean Gene: I wanted to point out to you and your cohorts that the Survivor Series is being shown around the world to our armed forces. They are gonna be seeing you in action here tonight against the Alliance, and especially those great guys and gals who are serving our country proudly in the Persian Gulf, and by the way, they find you and your commanding officer despicable.
Sgt. Slaughter: Despicable?!
Mean Gene: Yes! Despicable.
Sgt. Slaughter: Stand at attention, you puke. Shut that hole and listen up! And all you maggots out there, listen up! Despicable is saluting the red, white & blue! I, Sgt. Slaughter, salute one flag, and that flag is the banner of that brave Iraqi nation!
Mean Gene: You've gotta be kidding me!
Sgt. Slaughter: You know what, pukeface? Today, my Mercenaries and I sat down to a beautiful, hot, delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and we didn't have to worry about swatting any desert flies away from the table; and we didn't have the smell of camel dung in the air when we chewed our food and swallowed it; but best of all, we didn't have any sand in our pumpkin pie! What did all of you American gung-ho soldiers out there in Saudi Arabia have in your K-ration can today? Hot turkey sandwich?!
Mean Gene: You call yourself an American? You've got to be kidding.
Sgt. Slaughter: President Bush, take some advice from Sgt. Slaughter before you send your troops into battle against President Saddam Hussein Always think twice because the Iraqi Army soldier is just like the Mercenaries and Sgt. Slaughter — we take no prisoners and we are survivors, and THAT'S AN ORDER! You're dismissed.
Gorilla: What a despicable piece of garbage.
Piper: You pig! You pig! You know why he got kicked out of the service? For saying "Shazam!" too much.
Piper: If these boys don't finish them off, I'm grabbing his butt, I'll take him over to the Persian Gulf and let our troops have a go at him! Let's see what kind of drill sergeant he is! You're nothing but a pig, you hang around with pigs, and you ain't got enough guts to eat a can of K-rations! I would rather eat K rations that eat turkey with you, you pig!


Jack Tunney: [making a statement from when Jake Roberts' king cobra bit Randy Savage in the arm.] With the tragic events of this past weekend still fresh in all our minds, I accept full responsibility for allowing such a potentally dangerous reptile at ringside. I will accept Jake Roberts' explanation at face value that this was indeed an accident and he had led to believe that his king cobra had indeed been devenomised by the lab. However, resting upon my shoulders is the welfare of everyone here in the World Wrestling Federation. Therefore, effective immediately, the king cobra and all reptiles are barred from ringside. In addition, after careful consoltation with the Macho Man Randy Savage and his doctor, it is my decision that he is reinstated immediately and that a match between Randy Savage and Jake Roberts be sanctioned at the earliest possible date which will be this coming Tuesday night in Texas. Therefore, Jake Roberts will not be a participant in the Survivor Series. Instead, the Legion of Doom and Big Boss Man will face the Natural Disasters and I.R.S in a three on three tag team encounter.

Bobby: [Regarding Davey Boy Smith] Million dollar body, ten cent mind and Whoopi Goldberg's hairdo

Gorilla: [after Piper kisses Sherri, who was not supposed to be at ringside] The referee's finally realized that she was out there, not supposed to be, she's on her way out of there.
Bobby: Know where she's going? She's going to get a tetanus shot.
Gorilla: I hope so.
Bobby: If Piper kissed you, you'd have to have shots too, Monsoon. Well, maybe not, I don't know.

Bobby: There's gonna be a lot of trouble there in the Macho household.
Gorilla: What are you talking about?
Bobby: Well, he's been reinstated, right? He can wrestle again.
Gorilla: Yes.
Bobby: Who's gonna do the dishes?

[During the Team Piper vs. Team Flair match]
Gorilla: Six remaining, and they're all in there. [Piper whips Flair into the corner, who flips over the top and onto the floor] Flair into the corner, up and over the top and out. He's the legal man out.
Bobby: Hold my jacket!
Gorilla: Where're you going?
Bobby: I think I have to go down there and help him out.
Gorilla: Oh, please.
Bobby: Well, if you insist, I'll stay here.
[The referee, failing to contain the battle of the five men in the ring, calls for the bell]
Gorilla: Referee calling for the bell to ring here. Disqualification perhaps, or count-out. [The action spills out to the floor. As this happens, Flair re-enters the ring.] I know Flair's the legal man out there.
Bobby: Well, they shouldn't disqualify him. They disqualify Piper? Who'd they disqualify?
Gorilla: Why don't you just wait a minute? Somebody's gonna be sent out of here.
Bobby: I think Piper gave up. I think he quit and said, "I've had enough." I'm not sure what happened. There're bodies all over the place.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here is the referee's official decision.
Gorilla: Here it comes.
Howard: [cont'd] He has disqualified every participant that was battling in the ring except for one man who is the sole survivor and the winner: Ric Flair!
Gorilla: How on Earth could he do that?! [Piper attacks Flair, sending him out of the ring] Piper not too happy about it.
Bobby: Doesn't matter. The winner of the first tag match at Survivor Series, the real world's champion, Ric Flair! Now give me one, Monsoon! WOOOOO!!!
Gorilla: I'd like to give you one.

Bobby: Right here in Jim Louis Arena.
Gorilla: Joe Louis!
Bobby: Joe Louis, sorry.
Gorilla: Who's Jim Louis?
Bobby: Who's Joe Louis?

Gorilla: Brain, if you keep quiet, no one will know how stupid you are.
Bobby: You're kidding.

Bobby: It's four against four. Do you realize Duggan's looking across the ring and sees eight?

Gene: All right, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, these people saw what happened this weekend, I saw it, and millions around the world had an opportunity to see what took place. You said it was an accident.
Jake: Trust me, it was.
Gene: You said that snake had been devenomized by the lab.
Jake: Cross my heart and hope to die, that's what I was told.
Gene: You know, Jake Roberts, do you realize how much anguish you have caused the Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth, the torture that these...
Jake: Yeah, it excited me a bit. Yeah, I thought about it for a long time.
Gene: You are a sick man, Jake Roberts.
Jake: Thank you very much.
Gene: You know, there are many who say that Jack Tunney should have 86'ed you for your actions, you should be out of the World Wrestling Federation altogether! You're very fortunate to have an opportunity to meet the Macho Man Randy Savage one-on-one, This Tuesday in Texas, and I, for one, can hardly wait.
Jake: Is that right?
Gene: That's right.
Jake: You know, let's start off by saying this. You're trying to cast me as the original sinner; well, I spoke to God this morning, and he said he doesn't like you. So let's point the finger at somebody else besides me. Let's point the finger at the people that voted for Savage, let's point the finger at Jack Tunney, let's point the finger at the World Wrestling Federation, not at me.
Gene: You know, when you take a look at everything, the one-on-one matchup between you and the Macho Man Randy Savage, all of a sudden now, there is a very interesting hook to all of this—the fact that there will be no reptiles allowed at ringside, and that means no snakes in the bag.
Jake: You know, it's hard to believe that after six years, you people haven't caught on yet. The thing in the bag was simply a toy, something for me to amuse myself with. I've always been the snake you should worry about, and for six years you haven't caught on. It surprises me that anyone, even you, can be that ignorant.
Gene: You laugh.
Jake: Yeah, I laugh. Because Tuesday in Texas, Elizabeth, you have a ticket. You have a one-way ticket, a one-way ticket, Elizabeth. So don't be shy, sweetheart, let's use it, huh? You show up. A one-way ticket to the other side, if you will. Because this Tuesday in Texas...princess, don't expect the prince to be there to wake you up with a kiss, because you see...Tuesday in Texas is not the end, it is not the beginning, it's not even the beginning of the end, yet the end of the beginning.

Gorilla: Undertaker trying to rip the face off the Hulkster.
Bobby: What a rip-off, huh? Well, Detroit's known for hockey, so that would be a face-off.
Gorilla: Will you stop!

Bobby: [after Paul Bearer chokes Hogan a second time] I'll tell you, this monitor just keeps kickin' in, kickin' out.
Gorilla: I'm gonna start kickin' you in and out in a minute!

Gorilla: [after Hogan nails Flair on the outside] Whoa! He said "What are you doing here?" and unloads!
Bobby: Why did Hogan have to go touch Flair? Flair never touched the ring!

Gorilla: What a miscarriage of justice!
Bobby: I told you so!
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout and NEW World Wrestling Federation Champion: The Undertaker!
Gorilla: This is horrendous! Three guys it took—it took the Undertaker, Paul Bearer, and Ric Flair to beat Hulk Hogan!
Bobby: Hulkamania is dead! It is dead! Long live the Undertaker!

Gorilla: WWF officials in the ring right now checking on the Hulkster, obviously knocked silly, knocked unconscious as Ric Flair slipped that steel chair underneath the bottom rope, allowing the Undertaker to piledrive the Hulkster's head right into it.
Bobby: Well, had Hogan not gone outside the ring and put a hand on Ric Flair, the real World's champion, maybe he'd be standing right now. Maybe the match'd still be going right now. Maybe he'd be World Wrestling Federation Champion right now. But no, Hogan. You wanna live by your own rules. "Hulk rules," right? There's what Hulk rules, his back on the mat, no gold, no belt, and all these little punk Hulkamaniacs crying their eyes out! I love it, Hulkamania's been buried and it's dead!
Gorilla: Brain, give me a break. What business from the get-go did Ric Flair have down at ringside during this title match?!
Bobby: I don't know.
Gorilla: Oh you don't know. "I don't know." That's your standard out—"I don't know."
Bobby: You ask him if he...
Gorilla: He's the one responsible for this title change!

Gene: Roddy Piper, you saw what happened! You tell me!
Piper: All right, man. It be a bad day in the WWF. They say anything can happen in the Survivor Series in the WWF, and it has. The Undertaker, the new WWF Champion, you Addams Family reject! I just saw Hogan down there, he got red in his eyes, he got hair on his teeth, screaming "Tunney! Tunney!" Where are you now, Tunney! You saw what happened. Oh, and Lurch's new-found friend, Cousin Itt, Ric Flair running down there. You're a real handy guy when someone's got his back turned! Ding-dong! Ding-dong! We're hearing the bell, Undertaker. Ding-dong! Flair, we're hearing the bell! As far as I'm concerned, when it comes to the Undertaker becoming the WWF Champ with the help of Ric Flair, ain't no different than David Duke becoming Prez. We hear the bells, and we be coming. Ding-dong.

Gene: Never in my life have I seen anything quite so disgusting! Quite so despiciable. As a matter of fact Jack Tunney, It's a travesty! And I want to know what you're going to do about it.
Jack Tunney: Gene, not withstanding what actually occurred this evening in the gravest challenge, the referee's decision is final.
Gene: That's wrong!
Jack Tunney: And cannot be challenged by me. However, it is well within my authority to order a rematch at the earliest possible date. Therefore, it is my decision that the Undertaker meet Hulk Hogan in a rematch for the World Wrestling Federation title this Tuesday in Texas.
Gene: Amen.
Jack Tunney: And furthermore, I will physically be at ringside to ensure a fair and just outcome.
Gene: President Jack Tunney, you have acted very quickly. I know it's a difficult decision but I certainly concur and look forward to this Tuesday night.

Gorilla: I have trouble telling the Beverly's apart.
Bobby: Beau's the one with the blond hair.

Bobby: What a night this is for me. And tomorrow, I'm having a bunch of guests over to my home in Beverly Hills, turkey for everyone, only 8 bucks a head at the door.

Gorilla: Marty Jannetty, in picking up one of the Nasty Boys, accidentally kicked his own partner right in the face with the legs of the Nasty Boy. Shawn really bent out of shape here, furious with Marty Jannetty, and Marty Jannetty saying...Marty doesn't even know what happened.
Bobby: Well, I'll tell you, it's like I was reading in WWF Magazine, there's dissension between the Rockers. You know, they've hated each other...
Gorilla: They did not! Will you stop, that's not true!
Bobby: They don't get along at all! They're both prima donnas!
Gorilla: They are not!
Bobby: The rumors about them are true!
Gorilla: What rumors?
Bobby: That they can't stand each other, in the World Wrestling Federation Magazine. Don't you read that publication?! I have my own column in it, I read it every month!
Gorilla: All you do is look at the pictures! I don't think you can read!


Randy Savage: Allow me to introduce my perfect tag team partner: Mr. Perfect, oooohhh yeahhhh!!!
Vince: Take a look at this, Bobby Heenan!
Bobby: This is turning my stomach.
Vince: Come on! Where is he? Where's Mr. Perfect? Where's the Macho Man's tag team partner?
Bobby: He took a hike!
Vince: He to... [Perfect enters] There he is!
Bobby: There he is, that no good backstabbing ingrate! Oh, you're gonna get it! You're gonna get it good!

Bobby: Perfect, you chew that gum with that arrogant smug look, but you may never see Thanksgiving tomorrow! You dirty, no good, rotten, lowlife, poor excuse for a human being! Razor, cut him up! Flair, slap that figure-four on and break both legs! They're not perfect, that's what's perfect! Savage, you picked yourself a loser. Listen to these humanoids — the audacity of them to cheer on a...shows you what society has come to.

Vince: Think about the Macho Man and the only perfect athlete in the WWF together.
Bobby: What do you mean "the only perfect athlete"?
Vince: You've said it many times before, I'm quoting you.
Bobby: Well, I thought he was! But to be a perfect athlete, you have to be a perfect man, a man of integrity! When he turned on me, Flair and Ramon, he showed me so! He's not perfect!
Vince: That doesn't take anything away from his athletic prowess, does it?
Bobby: I believe it does!

Bobby: [as Shawn Michaels tries to grab Bret Hart's hair] You can't yank that hair. 65 pounds of oil in it.

Bobby: He is on fire. He's white hot. This man is hot.
Vince: The Hitman Bret Hart is indeed, I agree with you.
Bobby: You bet. No, I'm talking about Shawn Michaels! Don't you ever pay attention to me?


Bobby: You know why the Kid's not doing well? Look at the time! Its half an hour past his bed time!

Bobby: That's surviving, McMahon.
Vince: Pardon me, that's cheating.
Bobby: Well, cheating and surviving go hand in hand.

Bobby: Have you ever cheated somebody?
Vince: Of course not.
Bobby: You shoud try it! It's a ball!
Vince: Bobby Heenan...

Vince: Oh come on, ref...
Bobby: What, do you want to referee now too? You wanna be president of the World Wrestling Federation?

Bobby: A good big man will always beat a small little punk.
Vince: I don't know if I've ever heard it put quite that way, Bobby Heenan...

Vince: (Adam Bomb and Rick Martel are obviously cheating) Come on ref, open your eyes!
Bobby: Hey, he's doing a great job!
Vince: Is that you call teamwork, Bobby Heenan?
Bobby: Yes I do, what do you call teamwork? (disgusted) Fair tags? Life isn't fair, McMahon.

Vince: Razor Ramon might just be the WWF superstar of the year!
Bobby: Am I still in the running?

Bobby: Come on, tear his arm out of his socket!
Vince: Stop it, Bobby Heenan!

Vince: What heart this young man has!
Bobby: So kick him in the heart.

Shawn Michaels: Aw, gee, can you imagine that? I upset the Hart family. I feel so bad about that. I got news for you. If I had a mom and dad that looked like that, I'd have put 'em six feet under a long time ago, whether those hearts were still pumping or not. And I got news for you. Bret "The Hitman" Hart, you and I have a history. I got a little something to settle with you anyway after what happened last Survivor Series. But you know, something's a little bit different — I still got my gold, and you got nothing. And what else do I have? I got three knights that I handpicked myself. What's he got? He's got his little brother, "The Rocket" Owen Hart; and he's got another brother, a fireman — I got something for the fireman, I'm so hot you can't put me out — and the other guy? He's a substitute schoolteacher. I don't need anybody teaching me anything, I know it all. Hart family, you guys are going down where your mom and your dad oughta be. And if that old man sticks his nose in my business, I'm gonna waffle him upside the head and somehow make him uglier than he already is.

Bobby: (on Ray Combs) Are you sure that's not Wink Martindale?

Vince: There are 20 Hart family members here at ringside tonight.
Bobby: And Helen just gave birth to 8 of them.

Vince: Stu Hart last wrestled at the Boston Garden in 1945.
Bobby: No you're wrong about that. 1845. He was at the tail end of his career.

Bobby: Ray, you know the movie Sleepless in Seattle starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Stu and Helen are going to remake the movie. They're going to meet eye to eye over a bowl of prunes and call it Senile in Seattle.

Bobby: Excuse me one minute. (yelling) Hey Stu (Hart), wake up! He fell asleep.
Vince: He's gonna wake up. He's gonna come over here, Bobby.
Bobby: That'll take two hours. We'll be off the air.

Bobby: (On Bruce Hart) His name is Bruce, right? What a stupid name. You have nine months, and you come up with "Bruce"?

Bobby: (On being told Keith Hart is a fireman) Keith is a fireman? He's more like the spotted dog that rides on the back of the truck!

Bobby: (On the hooded Blue Knight) This Blue Knight's really put together, huh? I know who he is!
Vince: Alright, who is he?
Bobby: Oh, I can't tell YOU.

Combs: Say Bobby, I think you should wear a mask like the Knights.
Bobby: I should?
Combs: Uh huh, as a public service.

Bobby: You know, the Hart family is known as the cowards of Canada.
Vince: What do you mean, the cowards of Canada?
Bobby: That's just what I hear from people.

Bobby: (On Stu Hart) I asked Stu earlier, I asked him, you gotta be proud of your boys. He said, "I have boys?"

Bobby: (Things break down in the ring and everyone starts fighting) Oh, it's just like dinner time at the Hart house.

Bobby: Now, wouldn't you classify 20 members of the Hart family living together as a ghetto?

Bobby: Stu just yelled over to Helen, "Helen, I'm damned". What do you suppose that means?
Vince: Bobby Heenan, you're a bad man. You owe the entire Hart family an apology, as well as our audience.

Bobby: (The Red Knight kicks the fireman Keith Hart away from behind) Oh! He kicked the fireman right in his backdraft!

Combs: (On Keith Hart) You know, that little man out there is man who goes out and risks his life every day.
Bobby: Eating dinner at the Hart house is risking your life every day!

Bobby: I hope the director doesn't show the Hart family anymore.
Vince: Why's that?
Bobby: The phone'll be ringing off the hook over at America's Most Wanted!
Combs: I think they oughta start a show for you family.
Bobby: Oh yeah? What would they call it?
Combs: America's Most Unwanted.

Bobby: You know, all the Hart daughters look like the mom. I mean, the same age, like they're going on 85, 87...
Vince: You are an unkind man, Bobby Heenan.
Bobby: Her face could hold an 8 day rain with all those wrinkles!

Bobby: (On Stu Hart's jacket, which has a picture of a bear on the back) Oh look! He's got a picture of Helen on the back of his jacket, isn't that nice...

[After Owen Hart is eliminated]
Bobby: Shawn! Shawn! (throws a bottle of water to Shawn)
Combs: He's hanging-- You can't really give him water Bobby!
Bobby: I didn't. Someone from behind me threw it.

Bobby: (about Mabel) Mabel with all that hair and makeup on. Are you sure that's not Oprah Winfrey?
Vince: Would you be serious, Bobby Heenan?
Bobby: Oh that's right. She's dropped down to about 350.

Vince: We still don't know who Shawn Michaels' Knights were-
Bobby: I do!
Vince: Sure, of course you do, but you're not telling.

Vince: Mabel is huge, Bobby Heenan!
Bobby: Well, if you wolfed down 65 turkeys, you'd put on a few pounds too.

Bobby: (Afa is chewing on... something.) Look at Afa! He's eating the carcass of a... wow, this is Jurassic Park, isn't it!

Bobby: What's that smell?
Vince: That's Bastion Booger, I believe.
Bobby: WOW! ... I thought it was just Boston.

Vince: Whoomp, there it is!
Bobby: Whoopsie, there it is.

Bobby: The ring is a mess. It's like the table when Bastion Booger eats!

[At the end of the four Doinks match]
Vince: This is a cartoon! Forget about Looney Tunes. Forget about Hanna Barbera. They've got nothing on the WWF!
Bobby: Not tonight!
Vince: Not tonight!
Bobby: This looks like a match Chief Jay Strongbow should've wrestled in.
Bobby: There's confetti on the floor, there's bananas on the floor, there's turkey carcasses on the floor, there's bananas in the ring, there's skins in the ring. There's a drumstick, there's a wing, there's a gizzard.
Vince: Where's a gizzard?
Bobby: I feel like I'm at Dahmer's house.

Todd Pettengill: Thanksgiving Eve, live from the Boston Garden, an American tradition. I am standing in the middle of the Foreign Fanatics' contigency on this American eve, Thanksgiving, after all, the celebration of America and all the victories we've had in this country...
Jim Cornette: Yeah.
Todd: Quite simply, your denigration policy across this country at this time specifically was not very well planned, Jim.
Jim: Pettengill, first of all, you don't know the meaning of half of those words you just spit out, you were looking them up all night in Funk & Wagnalls. Second of all, we haven't denigrated anybody, we're upholding a fine American tradition: be winners at any cost, and that's exactly what we are. We're winners, and we'd do anything to win. And thirdly, there's a fine old American tradition — carving up a turkey on Thanksgiving Eve, and that's what we're going to do. We're gonna carve up four of them. Now everybody's been asking, everybody's been wondering since this match was announced: "what is your strategy? How are you going to fight the All-Americans? Is it gonna be divide and conquer? Are you going to mount a frontal assault, an all-out attack?" Well, let me just say this. We've sat down and we've thought about this. The All-Americans — we look at them like one man, because they fight together, they stand together, they think as one. They're a unit, so how do you take a man out? Well, you can go for the mind, you can go for the heart, or you can go for the soul. Now, the heart of the All-Americans is the Steiner Brothers. They got a never-say-die attitude, they'll fight to the end; but you give a blow to the heart, it can be devestating. Now the mind, the mind is the Undertaker, because he's the master of fear, the master of psychology, the master of the psych-out; but if you take away a man's mind, he's confused, he's disoriented, and you can easily take him out. Then there's the soul, and the soul of the All-Americans is Lex Luger.
Todd: Team captain Lex Luger.
Jim: He's the — shut up, Pettengill! — he's the embodiment of the American Dream, he's the spirit to succeed, victory against the odds. Lex Luger is the soul of the All-Americans, and when you capture a man's soul, then you've defeated him once and for all. And tonight, that's gonna be our strategy: mind, heart & soul. The All-Americans are going down in the Boston Garden tonight!
Todd: Ladies and gentlemen, on Thanksgiving Eve, in the middle of the Foreign contingency, coming up next, it's the "Clash of the Superpowers."

Bobby: [on the Steiner Brothers] Graduates of the University of Wisconsin.
Vince: The University of Michigan, Bobby Heenan.
Bobby: I think they got their jackets on upside down. Anyone can graduate from Michigan. You could, even, a man who's hooked on phonics.

Bobby: Mr. Fuji, my hat goes off to you... if I had a hat.

Bobby: (Jacques hits a piledriver on Scott Steiner and covers him) It won't work. It won't work. (Steiner kicks out)
Vince: Why wouldn't it work?
Bobby: Because he dropped him on his head! There's nothing in there!

Bobby: Ok, so now it's three on...
Vince: Two, it's three on two.
Bobby: Three on two is five.
Vince: (pause) That's right. You're the Brain, huh? You can add.
Bobby: Well, I thought I'd tell you, you know, help you out.

Vince: Well, we have now have confirmation that Randy Savage has AGAIN been ejected from the building...
Bobby: How does he keep getting in? Is he Batman? Is he hanging from the rafters? Does he swing in on a pole?

Bobby: (On Lex Luger fighting Yokozuna) This is like a Volkswagon fighting a Greyhound bus!

Bobby: You know, The Undertaker's gonna start a new basketball team. Yeah, it's for guys six feet and under.

Bobby: (Undertaker sits up after being slammed down by Yokozuna) HE'S NOT A HUMAN BEING!

Bobby: (Yokozuna slams Undertaker down harder) He can't get up from this, or I'm a weasel!

Bobby: (On Ludvig Borga) He'll beat you all day until he beats you, but he'll do it nonchalantly if he has to beat you 100 times.


Gorilla: [on Jeff Jarrett's CD, "Ain't I Great"] I understand it's on the NAA label, Vince.
Vince: The NAA label? What's that?
Gorilla: Not available anywhere.

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has counted all members of the Teamsters out of the ring. The winner and survivor of this bout: the Bad Guy, Razor Ramon!
Vince: Imagine that if you would. Razor Ramon victorious against all odds. Shawn Michaels with one instruction too many. Shawn Michaels and Diesel with apparently a huge difference of opinion, one I'm not so sure can be repaired.

Shawn: You tell Big Daddy Cool, he needs a ride, try hitting the pavement!

Vince: Gorilla Monsoon, I think we have a new World Wrestling Federation Champion, and Helen Hart did what she had to do.
Gorilla: What's a mother to do?!

Gorilla: Well we've come full circle, eleven years has gone by, and Bob Backlund is once again the reigning World Wrestling Federation Champion.
Vince: I can't believe it, I cannot believe it! Bob Backlund wears the World Wrestling Federation Championship! George Foreman did it in boxing; Bob Backlund has just done it at the same age, 45, in the World Wrestling Federation; and Backlund looking at his hands, his characteristic look, I don't know that he can even believe it. But the Hitman never quit.
Vince: This is the new WWF Generation? I shudder to think!
Gorilla: This is the flag-bearer now for the World Wrestling Federation?

Todd: Obviously, we've just witnessed some...we thought you were having compassion for your brother. Vince McMahon said we're seeing the "true Owen Hart." This obviously was some sort of setup.
Owen: A setup? You got it right, it was a setup! This is the greatest Thanksgiving of my life! And Mom and Dad? [Laughing] You fell right into my trap! You threw the towel in! And Bret, you're no longer the WWF Champion! Mr. Backlund is! And Bret, I could've beaten you before, but you cheated; but now you're nothing! You're below me, you're down there in the gutter, Bret! You're not a champion anymore, [sing-songy] you're a loser, and I'm a king, and Bret, you're a nobody. I'm gonna be the WWF Tag Team Champion, I am gonna be a WWF Intercontinental Champion, and Bret, I am gonna be the WWF World Heavyweight Champion; and I, unlike you, will never quit, I will never surrender! You're a quitter, Bret! Mom and Dad threw in the towel, and you're history, Bret. And I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Don't you forget it, brother. Woo!
Todd: Let's go back to ringside.
Vince: I can't believe it.
Gorilla: What a creep! Unbelievable! I thought he was showing legitimate compassion! Tears were running down his face, Vince!
Vince: I actually feel betrayed. I mean, for Owen Hart to...he was pleading with his mom and dad...
Gorilla: How could you do that?
Vince: ...and all along...
Gorilla: How could you do that to your mother and father, and your brother? What kind of an ingrate...he's a worse individual than I thought he was. He's a creep, first-class.

Todd: Agree or disagree with his tactics, he is now 2-time WWF Champion...
Bob Backlund: Wait a minute, wait a minute. First of all, young man, it's Mr. Bob Backlund, and you're incorrect. I've been the Champion since 1978. I never lost the Championship. Tonight I just regained the belt, and I beat the man that represents your society! I beat him so I could save you! I'm going to scrutinize you to the fullest, pasteurize you, homogenize you, and synchronize you back into morality! You understand, ladies and gentlemen? It's sports-education! I'm your champion!!! And I'll take on anybody...anybody at all, ladies and gentlemen, in your generation, 'cause I'm fighting for something that's more important than anything in this world, is put morality back into your lives; and now your children have somebody that they can emulate after, and try to catch up to, cause I feel like God!!!


Mankind: Don't worry, Uncle Paul. Think back to Buried Alive, think back to, with his last dying gasp, how the Undertaker came to life. It doesn't bother me! Because I know, whatever form you take, Undertaker, you'll be crawling with your gasping breaths down the aisle at Madison Square Garden! And I will stomp you like the cockroaches I used to call dinner. And just like those lovely insects, at Survivor Series, Undertaker, I'm gonna eat you alive! Have a nice day!

Vince: Here comes the bizarre one with Marlena.
Sunny: No, it's Marlena, followed by Goldust. Get it straight, big guy. Any self-respecting woman lets her man follow her.
Vince: You don't smoke though, do you?
Sunny: Oh God, no. I'm allergic...absolutely horrible. I'm as innocent and pure as I look.
Vince: Wow...
Jim Ross: Anyway, so much for truth in broadcasting.

Sunny: [as Hunter Hearst Helmsley enters] Wins the gold, loses the chick? What's the deal with that?
Jim Ross: I think he's focused.
Sunny: That's one word for it; stupid's another.
Jim Ross: Why would he want to have a woman at ringside with him anyway? What purpose would it serve in this matchup?
Sunny: Wait a minute, who are you asking here, Jim Ross?
Jim Ross: Well, you're the only woman sitting here...
Sunny: Listen, I make a living out of being at ringside with men and telling them what to do and...hey, if I feel like it, I'll tell you what to do too. So why don't you just sit there, Chubby, and be quiet.
Jim Ross: Okay, thank you very much.

Jim Ross: Crush is a lot like Michael Irvin — keep him out of jail, he can play.

Sunny: [on Rocky Maivia] Look at this, he's a newcomer and they're already chanting his name. The entire building, 20,000 people.
Jim Ross: It won't be the last time!

Howard: Here is your winner: Rocky Maivia!
Sunny: Oh my God, I feel like my name should be Adrian!
Jim Ross: What a way to make your debut, with a big show in the Big Apple at the Survivor Series!
Vince: What a dream come true for this first third-generation WWF superstar! And how proud is Rocky Johnson and his mom? How proud are Mom and Dad sitting in Florida, watching this on pay-per-view, JR.
Jim Ross: They've gotta be loving this, Grandma watching in Hawaii, and I'm sure the High Chief is looking on with a big smile on his face.
Sunny: Well you know, I'm proud of him too, and I haven't even gotten a chance to seduce him yet.

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Everybody talks about "the best there is, the best there was", all the other crap. The Excellence of Execution. Bret, cliches are cliches, an ass-whipping is an ass-whipping, and that's exactly what you're gonna get tonight at the hands of Stone Cold Steve Austin, and that's the bottom line!

Vince: How ironic would it be if Stone Cold Steve Austin placed the Sharpshooter on Bret Hart and won by submission? Again, anything can happen in the WWF.

Jim Cornette: [on Razor Ramon II and Diesel II] Okay, JR, these are your guys, they're your proteges!
Jim Ross: I'm not their manager! You manage Vader. If I were managing these guys, they'd be doing a heck of... if I were managing Vader, he'd be doing better! He'd probably be the champion!
Jim Cornette: You couldn't manage a Wendy's!
Jim Ross: I could if you lived in the town.

Vince: Shawn Michaels said earlier that he would do anything to retain the title, and Sid proved he would do anything to take it.


Road Dogg Jesse James: Hello, all you maple leaf loving freaks! You're about to find out the true meaning of "southern justice". I see that "Steers n' Queers" have already made their way to the ring. Well, now all you real true-to-life Yankee bastards are gonna see what southern justice is all about. Blacktracks and Buttbangers, you are done for.

Jim Ross: Interestingly enough, King, only one member of Team Canada was born in Canada — that's Phil LaFon. The Bulldog's from Manchester, England; Doug Furnas from Commerce, Oklahoma; and Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart from Reno, Nevada.
Jerry: Don't ever let the facts get in the way of a good story, Ross. Who cares? This is Canada against the United States, and quite frankly, I'm a little bit ashamed of the team that we're fielding.

Michael Cole: Vince, I'm gonna put you on the hot seat now—who's gonna win?
Vince: I don't know.

Jim Ross: Owen Hart with a tremendous ovation in his home country, and Owen, look at this. What an act of bravery. Owen Hart, defending the Intercontinental Title, is bringing Team Canada with him.
Jerry: Well, it takes that many guys to carry all of Owen Hart's awards — those Slammies, all the titles, those flags.
Jim Ross: Yeah, Owen Hart has won a couple of Slammies, he's won two WWF Tag Titles, he's been the Intercontinental Champion twice. In some people's view, he is the real "Hitman" of the Hart family, because he almost put Shawn Michaels on the shelf with a kick to the back of the head, and we all know what he did to Stone Cold Steve Austin at SummerSlam.
Jerry: And you know, let's face it. In actuality, the physicians have not cleared Stone Cold to wrestle. They probably never will again. He had to go...he had to sidetrack the physicians. He had to get this match OK'd...well, he had to okay it himself. He had to indemnify Vince McMahon and the World Wrestling Federation, tell them they wouldn't be sued if his career was ended, and that may be the biggest mistake Stone Cold's ever made in his life.

[After Austin wins, Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon attack]
Jim Ross: Wait a minute! Team Canada's back! Furnas, LaFon, Stunner for your trouble! The Rattlesnake did it! Austin walks into hostile territory, and he comes away with the Intercontinental Championship, and now the fans seem to love him!
Jerry: I told you these Canadians are idiots!


Jim Ross: Vince McMahon has screwed Triple H, and it's Show Time! It's Show Time! Triple H has lost the WWF Title to the Big Show!

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