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The Andy Milonakis Show
Format Sketch comedy
Alternative comedy
Surreal comedy
Created by Andy Milonakis
Jimmy Kimmel
Starring Andy Milonakis
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 3
No. of episodes 22
Running time 22 minutes
Original channel MTV
(2006 - 2007)
Original run June 26, 2005 (2005-06-26) – May 1, 2007 (2007-05-01)

The Andy Milonakis Show is an American sketch comedy starring Andy Milonakis, which aired on MTV2, the first season having aired on MTV. The program premiered on June 26, 2005 and finished its three-season run on May 1, 2007.




The show consists of short, unrelated comedy sketches featuring Milonakis (portraying a child although he is really an adult) as well as a supporting cast made up of his actual neighbors and people from the Lower East Side, Manhattan neighborhood where the show originally took place. There is no plot and the comedy in the sketches tends to skew absurdist and silly. Despite its time slot and intended audience, the content is rated TV PG. There are often animated segments, and often man-on-the-street segments. The last sketch of the show usually involves a celebrity guest. In the third season, he moved to L.A. to be with his now famous pet turtle, Herbie. His best friend, Ralphie, sneaks along and moves with him. Ralphie made their old friends into household items so they could be there too. Reruns currently air on MTV2.



Season 1: June 2005-August 2005

Episode number Original air date Guest star(s)
1.1 June 26, 2005 Lil Jon and The Eastside Boys, Biz Markie
1.2 July 3, 2005 Snoop Dogg, Vanessa Minnillo
1.3 July 10, 2005 John Stamos
1.4 July 17, 2005 Black Eyed Peas
1.5 July 24, 2005 Ying Yang Twins
1.6 July 31, 2005 Fat Joe
1.7 August 7, 2005 Carson Daly
1.8 August 14, 2005 Rob Schneider

Season 2: March 2006-May 2006

Episode number Original air date Guest star(s)
2.1 March 31, 2006 Paul Wall
2.2 April 7, 2006 Juelz Santana
2.3 April 14, 2006 Nick Cannon
2.4 April 21, 2006 The All-American Rejects
2.5 April 28, 2006 Mike Jones
2.6 May 4, 2006 Seth Green
2.7 May 11, 2006 Jimmy Kimmel
2.8 May 18, 2006 Shaun White

Season 3: March 2007-May 2007

Episode number Episode title Original air date Guest star(s)
3.1 "Andy Moves To L.A." March 27, 2007 Hilary Duff
3.2 "Andy Is Annoying" April 3, 2007 Sarah Silverman
3.3 "Andy Goes Camping" April 10, 2007 Three 6 Mafia
3.4 "Andy and Ralphie Are Dumb" April 17, 2007 Akon
3.5 "Andy's Soap Opera" April 25, 2007 Paul Reubens
3.6 "Andy's Season Finale Extravaganza" May 2, 2007 Bow Wow


External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Wikipedia has an article about:


The Theme Song Lyrics session 3


Bold text

[[ == Link title == ]] L.A. that's how I roll son I gotta new shirt and a brand new stroll son It is crazy hot 5 million degrees I'm praying on my knees just to get a little breeze
Forget about Bs I got Qs on my head
And all the other letters take a cruise on my head
Bruce Lee's chilling reading news on my head
And a moosey is punchin' a bruise in my head
Damn Skippy I moved to California!
Brand new show but yo I got to warn ya
If you carrot me then you know I'm gonna corn ya
Your footsie is stuck well I'll shoe-horn ya
I'm Andy Milonakis and this is me show!
After me flow you know me got to go
Got this L.A. sun from my New York snow
And the schmell schmay schmun for my shmoo shmork shmo
==''''Bold text''''Bold text'Bold text''''

Headline text

The Theme Song Lyrics

I rock peas on my head but don't call me a pea head!
Bees on my head but don't call me a bee head!
Bruce Lees on my head but don't call me a Lee head!
Now please excuse me; I gotsta get my tree fed.
You wear name brands and I make my own clothing.
I hang out with an apple who loves self-loathing. ("I hate myself!")
Pancake on my face makes me extra happy.
I like shampoo bottles that sit on my lappy!
'Cause its my show you can't tell me what to do;
When life hands me lemons, I make beef stew!
So, yo, I gotta go, its time for me to rock it!
I put balogna in my left pocket;
Smear some cream cheese in my gold locket
'Cause its my show; I'm Andy Milonakis
It’s my show; I’m Shmandy Shmila-Shmakis.
It’s my show; I’m Andy Milonakis!

Message quotes

Andy: I have no soul.

Man: I don't have one either.

Larry: Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead. Peas on my head, but don't call me peahead.

Dinosaur: Shut the **** up!!!!!

Larry: Aah! (runs away)

( bearded man quacks to Andy and cashier )

Duck: Shut the **** up!!!

Bearded Man: I just wanted to fit in!

Snoop Dogg: I'm the real ************* Snoop Do Double G! Who is this fat, red jumpsuited --

Larry: Why don't you just shut up, Andy? No one wants to hear what you want to say.

Snoop Dogg: What'd you call me? ( smacks Larry in the face )

Henry: Dammit, im bored.

Andy: ( laughing ) You smacked him!

Snoop Dogg: Yeah, I did smack him. You get one too! ( smacks Andy in the face )

Andy: ****!( crying )

It's my show; I'm Andy Milonakis

Man: What the hell you looking at?

Andy: Are you at the end of every rainbow?

Man: Yes.

Andy: Wow. Rainbows suck.

Man: No shit!

Andy: Well... where's the pot of gold?

Man: I have some hard candy and Bengay.

Andy: Yay! Bengay! I love Bengay!

[rubs bengay on his shirt]

Andy: Oh! It hurts so good!

Man: You stupid *****!

aaliyahs end song Yo the show is OVER so I gotta go SON. (Son!)

Go eat a PORK SANDWICH on a STICKY BUN. (Sticky Bun)

Thanks for STOPPIN' BY its been lots of FUN.

Gonna slap a GOOSE NECK now I'm on the run. (Run!)

Don't be sad cause I promise to come back.

I promise to rhyme tight and never ever wack.

I use old rap slang and call myself the mack.

I rock peas on my head but a brain is what I lack.

So if you like what you saw then come back next week.

If you don't you're a dumb loser internet Geek. (Geek!)

I'm three parts crazy and two parts Greek.

Time to eat fetta cheese with my GRAPE LEAF BEAK!!! (Waaaaa!)

Season 3

  • Ralphie: The green thing and the hot lady is right, we're being rude!
    Andy: Peanutbutta slap!
  • Andy (typing into a typewriter): And zoom, the panda ate the sheriff's brain with a pair of chopsticks. And he was crowned the most beautiful animal in the whole room. The end.
  • The caption of Andy's submarine sangwhich: Arg! I am the submarine caption! [to the first mate] Fire the torpedo, and take down the being!
    First mate: Eye caption, eye caption!
    (A torpedo hits Andy in the eye.)

Andy milonkais gets most of his inspiration from the infamous Hunter Wallis, or as he likes to call him h-Jizzle mizzle.


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