The Emperor's New Groove: Wikis


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The Emperor's New Groove

Promotional poster
Directed by Mark Dindal
Produced by Randy Fullmer
Don Hahn
Written by Mark Dindal
Chris Williams
David Reynolds
Narrated by David Spade
Starring David Spade
John Goodman
Eartha Kitt
Patrick Warburton
John Fiedler
Music by John Debney
Distributed by Buena Vista Pictures
Release date(s) December 15, 2000 (2000-12-15)
Running time 78 minutes
Language English
Budget $100 million
Gross revenue $169,327,687
Followed by Kronk's New Groove

The Emperor's New Groove is a 2000 American animated film produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation and released by Walt Disney Pictures through Buena Vista Distribution on December 15, 2000. It is the 40th animated feature in the Walt Disney Animated Classics. The Emperor's New Groove is a comedy including adult and child humor. The title refers to the Danish fairy tale The Emperor's New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen, though the two have little else in common. Produced by Randy Fullmer and directed by Mark Dindal over a six-year production timeline, The Emperor's New Groove was altered significantly from its original concept as a more traditional Disney musical entitled Kingdom of the Sun, to have been directed by Dindal and Roger Allers (co-director of The Lion King).

The film received an Academy Award nomination for Best Song for "My Funny Friend and Me" performed by Sting, but lost against "Things Have Changed" by Bob Dylan from Wonder Boys.

A direct-to-video sequel, Kronk's New Groove, was released in December 2005, followed by an animated television series, The Emperor's New School, in January 2006.



Kuzco (David Spade) is the self-centered teenaged emperor of a mountainous jungle nation. One day, he summons Pacha (John Goodman), the headman of a nearby village, to inform him that he is building his enormous summer home, Kuzcotopia, on the site of Pacha's house. Pacha attempts to protest, and is dismissed. Kuzco's ancient, power-hungry advisor Yzma (Eartha Kitt) and her easily-distracted lackey Kronk (Patrick Warburton) then attempt to poison Kuzco so that she can take control of the empire, but the supposed poison turns out to be a potion which turns Kuzco into a llama.

After knocking Kuzco unconscious, Yzma orders Kronk to dispose of him, but conscience-stricken Kronk loses the sack holding Kuzco. Kuzco ends up in Pacha's village, accuses Pacha of kidnapping him and demands that Pacha help him return to the palace. Pacha refuses unless Kuzco builds his summer home elsewhere, and Kuzco attempts to find his own way home. He ends up surrounded by a pack of jaguars, only to be saved by Pacha. Meanwhile, Yzma assumes command of the nation, but when Kronk reveals he never killed Kuzco, the two head out and begin to search the local villages for him.

Kuzco feigns agreement with Pacha's demand, and Pacha leads him back toward the palace. They stop at a roadside diner, and Yzma and Kronk arrive shortly after. Pacha overhears Yzma discussing their plans to kill Kuzco, and attempts to warn him. Kuzco, convinced Yzma is loyal, berates Pacha and returns to Yzma, only to overhear Yzma and Kronk discussing that they are seeking to kill him, and that the kingdom doesn't miss him. Kuzco realizes Pacha was right, but Pacha has left. After a repentant Kuzco spends the night alone in the jungle, the two reunite. They race back to the palace, with Yzma and Kronk chasing them until the pursuers get hit by lightning and fall into a chasm.

Kuzco and Pacha arrive at Yzma's laboratory only to find that their pursuers somehow got there first (by a method which, humorously, not even they know). Kronk changes sides after a vicious tongue-lashing from Yzma, and gets dropped down a trapdoor. Yzma summons the palace guards, forcing Kuzco and Pacha to grab all of the transformation potions they can and flee. After trying several formulas that convert Kuzco to other animals, and then back to a llama, they escape the guards (but not Yzma) and find they are down to only two vials. Yzma accidentally steps on one of the two, turning herself into a tiny kitten. She still almost manages to obtain the antidote, but is thwarted by the sudden reappearance of Kronk. Kuzco becomes human again and sets out to redeem himself, building a small summer cabin on the hill next to Pacha's home. Meanwhile, outdoorsman Kronk becomes a scout leader, with kitten-Yzma forced to be a member of the troop.




Kingdom of the Sun

Early in development, the film was titled Kingdom of the Sun, later Kingdom in the Sun, with Roger Allers as the film's director and Randy Fullmer as producer. Among those on Allers's production team were supervising animator Andreas Deja, who was in charge of the witch character of Yzma, and pop musician Sting, who, in the wake of Elton John's success with The Lion King's soundtrack, had been assigned to write several songs for the film.

Kingdom of the Sun was to have been a tale of a greedy, selfish emperor who finds a peasant who looks just like him; the emperor swaps places with the peasant for fun, much as in author Mark Twain's archetypal novel The Prince and the Pauper. However, the evil witch Yzma has plans to summon a dark spirit named Supai and capture the sun so that she may retain her youth forever (the sun gives her wrinkles, so she surmises that living in a world of darkness would prevent her from wrinkling). Discovering the switch between the prince and the peasant, Yzma turns the real emperor into a llama and threatens to reveal the pauper's identity unless he obeys her. The emperor-llama learns humility in his new form, and even comes to love a girl llama-herder. Together, the girl and the llama set out to undo the witch's plans.

Troubled production

Development suffered from several attempts at trying to make the plot more original, and also from a general lack of direction. Upper management felt the plot was too similar to any number of other "Prince and Pauper" stories, and test screenings of the work-in-progress generated poor feedback. Disney hired Mark Dindal, director of Warner Bros.'s comedic animated musical Cats Don't Dance, in hopes that Dindal would be able to punch-up Allers's epic, yet uninvolving, story. The result was that Dindal and Allers essentially began making two separate films, with Dindal pushing his scenes toward comedy and Allers pushing his toward drama.

Disney chief Michael Eisner and his studio executives were not pleased at the uneven story, the lukewarm test-audience response, and the slow pace of production. However, the executives were at first reluctant to intervene because of Allers's success with The Lion King, which had also had a troubled time in production. In addition, most of Allers's crew had complete faith in the director, who was determined to create a sweeping epic on the scale of The Lion King.

By the summer of 1998, it was apparent that Kingdom of the Sun was not far along enough in production to be released in the summer of 2000 as planned. At this time, one of the Disney executives stormed into Randy Fullmer's office and, placing his thumb and forefinger a quarter-inch apart, angrily remarked that "your film is this close to being shut down".[1] Fullmer approached Allers, and informed him of the need to finish the film on time for its summer 2000 release (crucial promotional deals with McDonald's, Coca-Cola, and others were already established and depended upon meeting that release date). Allers acknowledged that the production was falling behind, but was confident that, with an extension of between six months to a year, he could complete the film. When Fullmer denied Allers's request for an extension, the director quit the project.


Eisner, hearing Allers had quit, became furious, and gave Fullmer two weeks to prove the film could be salvaged or else Eisner would personally shut down production. Fullmer and Dindal halted production for six months to retool Kingdom of the Sun, while their animators were reassigned to work on the Rhapsody in Blue segment of Fantasia 2000. In the interim, Dindal, Fullmer, and writers Chris Williams and David Reynolds overhauled the film completely.

When work on the film resumed, it had a new title and a new story. Gone were the sun-capturing plot, the look-alike peasant, and the llama-herder love interest. Now the film was a buddy movie, with Yzma depicted more as a mad scientist. The co-lead became Pacha, a portly farmer from the countryside. Eisner worried that the new story was too close in tone to Disney's 1997 film Hercules, which had performed decently but yet below expectations at the American box office. Dindal and Fullmer assured him that The Emperor's New Groove, as the film was now called, would have a much smaller cast, making it easier to involve audiences.

Andreas Deja declined to return to the film, and moved to Orlando, Florida to work on Lilo & Stitch, instead. Sting's songs, related to specific scenes that were now gone, had to be dropped. Sting was bitter about the removal of his songs (which are available on The Emperor's New Groove soundtrack album). "At first, I was angry and perturbed. Then I wanted some vengeance."[2]


The title of the film is derived from that of the popular Danish fairy tale The Emperor's New Clothes. Similarly, the personality of a self-obsessed ruler who puts himself first to the detriment of his own people is also based on the fairy-tale.

The setting and culture of The Emperor's New Groove are based on the Inca Empire that developed into what is now modern-day Peru. Along with the architecture, roads, intricate waterworks, sun worship, and llamas as domestic beasts, Kuzco's name is similar to Cusco, the Peruvian city considered the capital of the Inca Empire, and Pacha's name is drawn from Pachacutec, considered the most important ruler of the Inca Empire, and a historical figure. Names and imagery mingle elements of Incan culture with elements from pre-Incan Peruvian cultures and non-Incan cultures of Central and South America. There are also incongruities and anachronisms (most notably wheels), some for humorous effect and some simply the result of not prioritizing historical authenticity. While the animators made a research trip to Peru for inspiration, the film and its publicity are notably non-specific about the geographical or historical setting of the story.[3]

Unlike many previous Disney animated films, The Emperor's New Groove is almost completely devoid of musical numbers. It is the first Walt Disney Feature Animation film since 1990's The Rescuers Down Under not to be a musical, and the start of a larger trend where the studio began to move away from musicals.

Deleted scenes

The standard DVD release includes a nearly complete deleted scene, in which Pacha witnesses a practice attack by royal guards on a mock-up of his village. Much of this scene is seen as complete animation in full color. The 2001 two-disc collector's edition DVD includes several other scenes which did not make it past the storyboarding phase, including Kuzco (as a llama) meeting Pacha's sitcom-esque extended family.

The film's ending originally had Kuzco building his Kuzcotopia amusement park on another hill near Pacha's, and inviting Pacha and his family to visit. Sting, an environmentalist, protested against the ending because it appeared that Kuzco had destroyed portions of the rain forest to build his park. The ending was rewritten so that Kuzco changes his mind about destroying more land, constructs a shack similar to Pacha's and spends his vacation among the villagers.

Home media release

The standard VHS and DVD was released May 1, 2001 at the same time the "2-Disc Collector's Edition" was released but with more Bonus Features. The standard VHS and DVD & The 2-Disc Collector's Edition are now Discontinued. Disney re-released a single-disc special edition called "The New Groove Edition" on October 18, 2005.


The film received positive reviews and currently holds an 85% "Certified Fresh" approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, with the Rotten Tomatoes consensus saying that the film "has more of the look and feel of Looney Tunes cartoons than classic Disney films."

The Emperor's New Groove made $89,302,687 at the U.S. box office, and an additional $80,025,000 worldwide; totals lower than those for most of the Disney Feature Animation productions released in the 1990s. New Groove and all but two of the five future traditional Disney Feature Animation films—2002's Lilo and Stitch and 2003's Brother Bear—would sustain losses during their theatrical releases.

Annie Awards

Result Award Winner/Nominee Recipient(s)
Nominated Animated Theatrical Feature
Nominated Individual Achievement in Directing Mark Dindal (Director)
Nominated Individual Achievement in Writing Mark Dindal (Story)
Chris Williams (Story)
David Reynolds (Screenplay)
Nominated Individual Achievement in Storyboarding Stephen J. Anderson (Story Supervisor)
Nominated Individual Achievement in Storyboarding Don Hall (Story Artist)
Nominated Individual Achievement in Production Design Colin Stimpson (Art Director)
Won Individual Achievement in Character Animation Dale Baer (Supervising Animator—Yzma)
Won Individual Achievement in Voice Acting - Female Eartha Kitt ("Yzma")
Nominated Individual Achievement in Voice Acting - Male Patrick Warburton ("Kronk")
Won Individual Achievement in Music Sting (Music/Lyrics)
David Hartley (Music)

The Sweatbox

Trudie Styler, a documentarian, had been allowed to film the production of Kingdom of the Sun/The Emperor's New Groove as part of the deal that originally brought her husband Sting to the project. As a result, Styler recorded on film much of the struggle, controversy, and troubles that went into making the picture (including the moment when producer Fullmer called Sting to inform the pop star that his songs were being deleted from the film). Styler's completed documentary, The Sweatbox, premiered at the Toronto Film Festival on September 13, 2002. Disney owns the rights to the documentary and has not released it on home video or DVD.

Derivative works

A direct-to-DVD sequel titled Kronk's New Groove was released in December 2005, and a Disney Channel cartoon series, The Emperor's New School followed, but without David Spade voicing Kuzco and John Goodman voicing Pacha, as they had in the original film and sequel. Patrick Warburton, Eartha Kitt, and Wendie Malick reprised their roles for the series. John Goodman has subsequently reprised his role for the current season of The Emperor's New School.

Kuzco was featured as a guest in Disney's House of Mouse and Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mouse.

Two video games were developed and released concurrent with the film. The first, for the Sony PlayStation, was developed by Disney Interactive and published by Sony Computer Entertainment of America. The second, for the Nintendo Game Boy Color, was developed by Sandbox and published by Ubisoft. Both titles were released in PAL territories the following year.

See also


  1. ^ Jim Hill, "The Long Story Behind the Emperor's New Groove". Part 1, page 3. [1]
  2. ^ (Dec. 14, 2000). "Studio Briefing: How Sting Spun Out Of The Groove". Internet Movie Database. [2]
  3. ^ See Helaine Silverman, "Groovin' to ancient Peru: A critical analysis of Disney's The Emperor's New Groove" in Journal of Social Archaeology 2002, 2: 298-322.

External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Wikipedia has an article about:

The Emperor's New Groove is an animated comedy starring David Spade, John Goodman, Patrick Warburton and Eartha Kitt, with music by Sting and John Debney. The sleeper hit was released by Walt Disney Pictures at the end of the year 2000.

The film has spun off a sequel, Kronk's New Groove, and a TV series, The Emperor's New School.



  • [to Rudy; whiny] Awww! You threw off my groove!
  • [examining his brides] Let's take a look, see... hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess: you have a great personality.
  • [after Pacha asks where he and his people will live after their village is demolished] Hmm... Don't know, don't care. How's that?
  • [to Pacha] When I give the word, your little town thingy will be... bye-bye. Bye-bye! [Pacha is taken away]
  • [narrating; referring to Kronk's "theme music"] Big, dumb and tone-deaf. I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this.
  • [narrating] Um, what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?
  • [sarcastic] Oh, boo-hoo! Now I feel really bad! Bad llama!
  • Yay, I'm a llama again! [beat; realizing] Wait...
  • [walks in soaking wet] Okay, why does she even have that lever? [kicks the alligator biting his tail; alligator whimpers and runs away]
  • [firing Yzma] Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go, your department's being downsized, you're part of an outplacement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your options - take your pick. I got more.


  • [about Kuzco] I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And I'll put that flea in a box. And then I'll put that box in another box. Then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives, [laughs maniacally] I'll smash it with a hammer! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! [Knocks over the potion, which makes a plant explode] Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this!
  • Pull the lever, Kronk. [Kronk does so and sends her falling through the wrong hole] Wrong lever! [walks back, soaking wet, and being bitten by an alligator] Why do we even have that lever? [gives the alligator a backwards slap; alligator whimpers and runs away]
  • [Immediately after Kuzco's supposed funeral] Well, he ain't gettin' any deader! Back to work.
  • We've been wandering in circles for who-knows-how-long. That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel!
  • [Holding the human-potion after getting turned into a cat] Looking for this? [Realizes her voice is now high and squeaky] Is that my voice? [coughs] Is that... my voice?! [pause] Oh well.
  • [as a cat] I'm not going to drop it, you fool - I'm going to drink it, and once I turn back into my beautiful self, I'm going to kill you! [laughs maniacally]


  • Chicha: [smiling] Okay everybody, move aside. [pats her pregnant belly] Lady with a baby comin' through.
  • Guard: Come on, men, nobody lives forever! [At which point the guards jump down a hole and aren't seen again]
  • Kronk's Shoulder Devil: [about the Angel] Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the "path of righteousness". I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!
  • Guard: Hey, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?
  • Kronk: What are the odds that trap door would lead me out here?
  • Guard: For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline!
  • Kronk: (gasps) My spinach puffs!!


Pacha: [noticing Rudy is caught in one of the palace streamers] Hey, are you all right? [helps Rudy down] What happened?
Rudy: Well, I... I threw off the emperor's groove.
Pacha: [in disbelief] What?
Rudy: [frantic] His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life! His pattern of behavior! I threw it off! And the emperor had me thrown out the window!
Pacha: [gasps in shock] Well, I'm supposed to see him today...
Pacha: O-okay.
Rudy: Beware the groove...
Pacha: Hey, are you going to be okay?
Rudy: The groove...

[After Kuzco fires Yzma, she takes out her anger by using a hammer to smash idol heads of him that Kronk puts out.]
Yzma: He can't get rid of me that easily! Who does that ungrateful little worm think he is?! Does he... [to Kronk, about a misplaced head] A little to the left.
[Kronk nudges the head so Yzma can smash it. She then continues to rant.]
Yzma: ...have any idea of who he's dealing with?! How could he do this to me?! Why, I practically raised him!
Kronk: Yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better.
Yzma: [dryly] Yeah. Go figure.
Kronk: Still, it's kinda better you're taking out your anger on these things instead of the real Kuzco, huh?
Yzma: [comes to a realisation] That's it, Kronk! That's it! I'll get rid of Kuzco!
Kronk: The real Kuzco?
Yzma: Of course the real Kuzco! Don't you see? It's perfect! With him out of the way and no heir to the throne, I'll take over and rule the empire. Brilliant!
Kronk: So, how does that work with you being fired and all?
Yzma: The only ones who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us.
Kronk: And I'm one of those two, right?
Yzma: To the secret lab!

[Yzma is shocked that her potion turned Kuzco into a llama instead of killing him.]
Yzma: What?! A llama?! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!!
Kronk: Yeah, wierd.
Yzma: [looks at Kronk angrily] Let me see that vial!
[Kronk gives the vial to Yzma. The label is folded half-way revealing the top half of a skull. Yzma unfolds the top of the label with her thumb, revealing a logo in the shape of a llama.]
Yzma: This isn't poison. This is extract of....LLAMA!!!
[She tosses the vial at Kronk; it hits him in the head and falls, shattering off-screen. Yzma growls in anger.]
Kronk: You know, in my defense, your potions all look the same. You might wanna think about re-labelling some of them.

Yzma: [to Kronk] Take him out of town and finish the job, now!
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk, this is kind of important.
Kronk: How about dessert?
Yzma: [starts to protest, but stops] Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: [hopefully] And coffee?
Yzma: All right, a quick cup of coffee. Then take him out of town and finish the job!

[While Kuzco is in a bag, about to go over a very large waterfall]
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You're not just gonna let him die, are you?
Kronk: A Shoulder Angel...?
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the "path of righteousness". I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Ah, come off it!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: You come off it!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: You!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: "You" infinity.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: [growls in frustration]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: [to Kronk] Listen up, big guy. I got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Number one: [points to Kronk's Shoulder Angel] Look at that guy! He's got that sissy, stringy, music thing.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: We've been through this - it's a harp, and you know it.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: All right. So, that's a harp... and that's a dress!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Robe!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Reason number two: [as he does a one-handed handstand] Look what I can do!
Kronk: But, uh, what does that have to do with this--?
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: No, no, he's got a point.
Kronk: Listen, you guys. You're starting to confuse me, so, uh.... "be gone", or, uh, you know, however I get rid of you guys.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel and Devil: That'll work. [they poof out of existence]

Chicha: So, what did the emperor want?
Pacha: [clears throat] Oh, you know what, he couldn't see me.
Chicha: [angrily] Couldn't see you? Why not?!
Pacha: I don't know.
Chicha: Well-well, that's just rude!
Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
Chicha: No, no, no, no, no. NO! Emperor or no emperor, it's called common courtesy.
Pacha: Honey...
Chicha: If that were me, I'd march right back there and demand to see him, and you know I would!
Pacha: Sweetie, sweetie. Think of the baby.
Chicha: Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not coming out for while. But even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind! That kind of behavior just- just- [snorts]. I gotta go wash something.

Kuzco: No touchie.
Pacha: Agh! Demon llama!
Kuzco: Demon llama?! Where?! [see a real llama and screams]

[After Kuzco realizes he's been turned into a llama]
Kuzco: My face! My beautiful... beautiful face! [goes into hysterics as Pacha tries to calm in down] Llama me!
Pacha: What happened?
Kuzco: [trying to calm down] I'm trying to figure that out, okay? [falls and starts whining again] I can't remember! I can't remember anything! Wait a minute. [turns towards Pacha] I remember you! I remember telling you that I was building my pool where your house was. And then you got mad at me-- [gasps in shock, then turns back to Pacha angrily] Then you turned me into a llama!
Pacha: Wha--?! No, I did not!
Kuzco: Yes, and then you kidnapped me!
Pacha: Why would I kidnap a llama?!
Kuzco: I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me!
Pacha: What?!
Kuzco: [pauses] You're right. That's giving you way too much credit.

[Pacha and Kuzco are swinging to safety.]
Pacha: Don't worry, Your Highness. I got ya! You're safe now!
[The vine from which they are swinging from catches, spins them around numerous times and binds them firmly to a log.]
Kuzco: Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered kind of a step backwards, wouldn't you say?
Pacha: No, no, no. It's-it's okay. This-this is all right. We can figure this out.
[The log starts to break in two.]
Kuzco: I hate you.
[The log breaks completely, sending them plummeting to the ground.]
[Still tied to the log, they drop into a fast-flowing river, hit a number of rocks, then luckily are bounced into far calmer waters]
Kuzco: I don't know about you, but I'm getting all funned out.
Pacha: [eyes widen] Uh-oh.
Kuzco: [resigned] Don't tell me: We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
Pacha: [also resigned] Yep.
Kuzco: Sharp rocks at the bottom?
Pacha: Most likely.
Kuzco: [pause] Bring it on. [yells as they go over] BOO-YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

[After Pacha revives him, Kuzco is washing his mouth out with water.]
Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss!
Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it, [spits the water onto Pacha's fire, putting it out] it was "dees-gust-ing"! And to think - if you'd done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life! [shakes off the water from his fur, which puts out the fire Pacha has just re-lit] But now that we're here, you will take me back to the palace. I'll have Yzma change me back, and then I'll start construction on Kuzcotopia. Oh yeah!
Pacha: Okay, now look, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.
Kuzco: [uninterested] Umm-hmm.
[He starts drying himself off with Pacha's poncho]
Pacha: [continuing] I just think if you really thought about it, you'd decide to build your home on a different hilltop.
Kuzco: [finishes drying off] And why would I do that?
[He throws the poncho over the fire, putting it out again]
Pacha: Because... [controls his anger] deep down, I think you'll realize that you're forcing an entire village out of their homes just for you.
Kuzco: And that's...bad?
Pacha: Well, yeah! Uh, nobody's that heartless.
Kuzco: Mmmm. [pauses] Now take me back.
Pacha: What? Wait, wait! How can you be this way?! All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you!
Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Pacha?!
Pacha: You know, someday you're gonna wind up all alone. And you'll have no one to blame but yourself.
Kuzco: [sarcastically] Thanks for that, I'll log that away. Now, for the final time, I order you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha: Looks to me like you're stuck out here. Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back.
Kuzco: [imitating Pacha] "Because unless you change your mind, I'm not taking you back. Me, me, me..." [Picks up an acorn and throws it at Pacha, hitting him on the head. Pacha looks round angrily] Huh? What? I didn't do anything. I didn't-- Somebody's throwing stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?
Pacha: [sighs] He's never going to change his mind.
Kuzco: [Goes out a way to lie down, then sighs as well] How am I ever going to get out of here?

Tipo: [waking from a dream] DAD, LOOK OUT!!!
ChiCha: Tipo, what is it?
Tipo: I had a dream that Dad was tied to a log, and was careening out of control down a raging river of DEATH!
ChiCha: It's all right, it's all right.
Tipo: It was awful!
ChiCha: It's okay, Tipo, calm down, it was just a dream. Your dad's fine. He just went back to see the Emperor.
Tipo: Oh, you mean like you told him to, 'cause you're always right.
ChiCha: That's right.
Chaca: Well, in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama!
Tipo: Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Chaca: It could!
Tipo: Nuh-uh!
Chaca: Yeah-hah!
Tipo: Nuh-uh!
Chaca: Yeah-haaaaah!
Tipo: Nuh-uh!
[They keep exchanging "nuh-uh's" and "yeah-hah's" at lightning speed]
ChiCha: Good night, you two.
Tipo, Chaca: Night, Mom!
[They continue as ChiCha blows out the candle]

[Kuzco has just rescued Pacha from falling back into the canyon.]
Kuzco: Whoo, yeah! Look at me and my bad self! I snatched you right outta the air! [at the canyon] "Oh, I'm a crumbling canyon wall, and I'm taking you with me." Well not today, pal! [shuffling to dance] Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-uh.
Pacha: [stunned] You...just...saved my life.
Kuzco: Huh? [pause; tries to look deadpan] So?
Pacha: I knew it!
Kuzco: Knew what?
Pacha: That there is some good in you after all.
Kuzco: Nuh-uh.
Pacha: Admit it!
Kuzco: You're wrong.
Pacha: There is.
Kuzco: Nuh-uh.
Pacha: I think there is.
Kuzco: [more annoyed] Nuh-uh!
Pacha: You couldn't let me fall.
Kuzco: Hey, c'mon! What's the big deal? Nobody's that heartless! [pauses in shock, realising that he repeated Pacha's words] ... Eh, don't put too much into it. It was a "one time" thing.
Pacha: Yeah, sure. Well, we better get going. With that bridge out, it's a four-day walk to the palace.
Kuzco: [surprised] What? You mean you're still taking me back?
Pacha: I shook on it, didn't I?
Kuzco: Well, yeah, [sounds guilty for a moment] but I hope you realise that doesn't change a thing. I'm still building Kuzcotopia when I get back.
Pacha: Well, four days is a long time. Who knows? Maybe you'll change your mind.
Kuzco: [unconvinced] Uh-huh. Four days... what are the chances of you carrying me?
Pacha: Not good!

Waitress: Ordering... [Kronk turns around and starts stuttering] Four combos, extra bacon on the side, two chili cheese samplers, a basket of liver and onion rings, a catch of the day, and a steak cut in the shape of a trout. [Kronk stands silently staring] You got all that, honey?
Kronk: Three oinkers wearing pants, plate of hot air, basket of Grandma's breakfast, change the bull to a gill. Got it!

[Yzma and Kuzco are ordering meals from Kronk. When one exits, the other enters, so they never see each other; Kronk meanwhile thinks they are making the same order]
Yzma: While you're at it, make me the special. And hold the gravy!
Kronk: Check. Pickup!
Kuzco: You know what? On second thought, make my omelet a meat pie.
Kronk: Meat pie. Check.
Yzma: Kronk! Can I order the potatoes as a side dish?
Kronk: I'll have to charge you full price.
Yzma: [growls in annoyance]
Kuzco: Hey, how about a side of potatoes, buddy?
Kronk: You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?
Yzma: Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine.
Kronk: Cheddar spuds coming up.
Kuzco: Spuds yes, cheese no.
Kronk: Hold the cheese.
Yzma: No, I want the cheese!
Kronk: Cheese it is.
Kuzco: Cheese me no likey.
Kronk: Cheese out.
Yzma: Cheese in!
Kronk: Ah, come on, make up your mind!
Kuzco: Okay, okay, on second thought...
Yzma and Kuzco: [together] ...make my potatoes a salad!

[Yzma is sleeping in a huge tent, while Kronk is in a tent so small it only covers his waist. Suddenly Kronk jerks awake]
Kronk: The peasant, at the diner! [pause] He didn't pay his check.
[Falls back asleep, but then jerks back up]
Kronk: [rapidfire] It's the peasant who I saw leaving the city; he disappeared into the crowd with Kuzco on the back of his cart! [gasps, both in realisation and to regain energy] He must have taken him back to his village, so if we find the village, we find him, and if we find him... we find Kuzco! Oh, yeah, it's all comin' together. Yzma!
[Runs into her tent]
Yzma: What?!
[Yzma sits up with cold cream on her face and cucumbers on her eyes]
Kronk: [recoiling] Uuuuuurggghhhh!!
Yzma: This had better be good! [the cucumbers fall off her eyes]

Chicha: [To Yzma] You know, I am so sorry that you had to come all this way. But, as I said to you before, you may recall, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure to tell him you came by.
Yzma: Oh, would you, please? That would be just great. [Yzma makes an exaggerated gesture that makes her knock her tea cup off the table] Oops. Silly me.
Chicha: No no. [exhaustedly] Allow me. [Chicha bends down to get the cup. Because she's pregnant, she has trouble picking it up.]

[ChiCha has managed to shut Yzma and Kronk in a closet]
Yzma: All right, I've had enough of this! Tell us where the talking llama is, and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Uh, don't you mean "or"?
Yzma: [sighs in exasperation] Tell us where the talking llama is, OR we'll burn your house to the ground!
Chaca: Well, which one is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction!
Yzma: [growls] That's it! Kronk, break the door down!
Kronk: Break it down? This is hand-carved mahogany!
Yzma: I don't care, you fool! Get out of my way! I'll break it down myself.

[After a long chase sequence, where Yzma and Kronk fell into a canyon, Kuzco and Pacha have reached Yzma's laboratory and are looking for the human potion in a cabinet.]
Pacha: Let's see. Lions, tigers, bears--
[There are no bottles in the human section.]
Yzma: Oh my! [Steps out of a shadow holding the potion] Looking for this?
Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?!
Yzma: Ah.... [Looks confused] How did we, Kronk?
Kronk: Well, ya got me. [Pulls down a chart displaying the progress of the previous chase] By all accounts, it doesn't make any sense.
Yzma: Oh, well. Back to business.
Kuzco: [chuckles nervously] Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
Yzma: Just think of it're being let go. That your life's going in a different direction. That your body is part of a permanent outplacement.
[A look of fear crosses Kuzco's face as he finally understands Yzma's motives.]
Kronk: Hey, that's kinda like what he said to you when you got fired.
Yzma: I know. It's called a cruel irony. Like my dependence on you.

Kuzco: I can't believe this is happening!
Yzma: Then I bet you weren't expecting this...
[Yzma starts to pull up her dress. Kuzco and Pacha scream]
Yzma: [revealing a knife strapped to her thigh] Aha!
[Kuzco and Pacha sigh with relief]
Kuzco: Oh, okay.

[Yzma has tossed Kronk a knife and ordered him to finish off Kuzco and Pacha. Kronk's Shoulder Devil appears again.]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Hey, you're not backing down now, are you, big guy?
Kronk: Uh, where's the other guy?
[Kronk's Shoulder Angel appears sitting in a hairdryer]
Kronk: Yo!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Sorry I'm late. So, what did I miss?
[As Kronk talks to the Shoulder guardians in his head, Yzma stares and points in disbelief. Pacha and Kuzco simply shrug.]
Kronk: Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife and asked me to... y'know, take them out. Then this guy popped up and we waited for you, and, quite honestly--
Yzma: Kronk! [Kronk and his Shoulder guardians turn to her] Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing. It's like I'm talking to a monkey.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa now!
Yzma: A really, really big, stupid monkey named Kronk!
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
Yzma: And do you want to know something else? I never liked your spinach puffs.
[Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Shoulder Devil all gasp.]
Yzma: Never!
[Kronk breaks down into tears. Shoulder Angel comforts him.]
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: That's it! [cocks trident like shotgun] She's goin' down!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Now, now. Remember, guys: "From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward."
[They look to the heavens and notice a chandelier as an angel chorus sings.]
Kronk, Shoulder Angel, and Devil: That'll work.
[Kronk cuts the rope to the chandelier, but due to Yzma's skinny form, it falls around her instead of on her.]
Kronk: Strange. That usually works.
Yzma: And so does this! [pulls a lever for a trapdoor below Kronk]
Kronk: Ah. Should've seen that coming. [falls through, followed by the Angel and Devil]


See Also

External link

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The Emperor's New Groove quotes at the Internet Movie Database


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